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Updated: Aug 24, 2020 142 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Hot Girls Pearls

Aging Gracefully· Coffee Break· Commuting· Weather | · · ·

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These “pearl” bracelets and necklaces are filled with a non-toxic icy gel that can be frozen to keep you cool. I saw them touted in O:The Oprah Magazine as a great way to make it through menopausal hot flashes, but I think they'd be great for hot, sticky summer mornings in the subway.

I prefer the bracelet ($30) to the necklace ($55), but if it gets hot enough, I suspect I'd wear 'em both! Hot Girls Pearls

These are some interesting products to help you cool down or stay cool on your commute… see more clever products like this in our Amazon shop! (If you're suffering from hot flashes or feel like throwing money at the problem, do check out the Embr Wave cooling bracelet…)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

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Comments

  1. LSC

    Interesting concept…although I think they’re a little too oversized for me.

    TJ: Ladies, what clothing brands do you like that are (1) good quality overall, and (2) won’t break the bank? Do such clothes even exist any more?? I’m so tired of my clothes looking shabby within a few wears!

    • Anon 42

      I’m a big fan of Boden. Pricing is better than Banana/JCrew and they have a lot of promotions, and the clothes are (IMO) better quality and cuter.

    • AIMS

      It’s pretty hit and miss for me, but I generally have had good luck with Uniqlo and Boden.

  2. Always a NYer

    Please tell me I’m not the only one whose mind channeled that of a twelve year old boy when glancing at the title and blurb for this post =/

      • TCFKAG

        Nope. Definitely not alone.

        Also these things are comically oversized. I feel like they’d only work for me if I was dressing up as one of the Wilma Flintstones for Halloween.

        • NOLA

          Yeah, no way I could wear the bracelet. It would bang against my desk all day and probably leave welts on my arm. The necklace is a bit much.

        • fre

          Yea, these “pearl” necklaces and bracelets would also pair well with clown shoes, I imagine.

        • Bluejay

          Eh. They’re a heck of a lot less tacky than wearing one of those ice-filled bandannas around my neck. I think they’re brilliant and I’m sad that they’re backordered.

          • Connie

            Thanks to corporette for highlighting our PEARLS! I want to thank Bluejay, who absolutely gets it. For those of you who don’t quite see that while, yes, they are large, not only is large chunky jewelry stylish, but these work! Oh well, can’t please all the people all the time. Have a nice day!

    • Ellen

      Me to. The manageing partner now is lookeing for me to start getting cleints for the firm, so he wants me to dress acordingly.

      I am NOT sure what he means, but I will NOT pay alot of money to dress in stodegey clotheing just so that I can get cleints.

      He also had the maintanence people install some air frensheners in the bathroom that smell AWFUL! I told him they smeled to strong and I did NOT like them but he just smiled. FOOEY on that!

      • Susan

        What makes you think the “manageing” partner wants you to dress in “stodgey” clothing?
        What if he wants you to dress like a strollop? You might get more clients that way.

        If that’s too extreme, why not meet him in the middle and dress like a frumpskank?

  3. SF Bay Associate

    New to me: SuperFeet insoles for dress shoes, sold at Nordie’s. I was flats- hunting again this weekend, still looking for truly comfortable flats. I tried on the AGLs, and yes, they are like buttah, but they are also $300 and I don’t wear flats in the office, so that’s a hard purchase for me to rationalize. I came across a display for SuperFeet insoles in the non-Salon shoes area. I know of them from REI and nearly bought them for my hiking boots, but apparently they offer dress shoe styles, too… just not at REI! I bought a pair of insoles for flats and for heels (~$20 each) and so far am *loving* them. My arch is actually supported! Does anyone else have these?

    • jcb

      Yep, I’ve used them for years. Have the green super-hard athletic ones for my running shoes, and the dress shoe versions for heels. They do wonders. I hadn’t seen that they have a version for flats, though, that’s exciting. I’ll have to look for those.

    • Circe

      I love superfeet, but isn’t it weird to be walking around on velcro-ed plastic? i found that they tore up the inside of my shoes and then moved around. Tips on avoiding this pitfall?

      • jcb

        Huh. My versions don’t have velcro, but I bought them a few years ago, maybe that’s changed. They are just hard plastic insoles that I can switch between shoes pretty easily.

        • SF Bay Associate

          Yes, they are hard plastic and easily switchable between shoes. No velcro. I hope they don’t tear up my shoes… JCB, do you buy your normal size shoe for SuperFeet use, or do you size up a half size to accommodate the SuperFeet?

          • jcb

            I buy my normal size dress shoe (and now that I’m thinking about it, they don’t work in every shoe – but I think generally just if the heel isn’t quite the right height for them, lower kittenish heels don’t work well with the ones I have). I always buy up a size or so when I buy running shoes anyway, and I’ve bought the superfeet at the same time as the running shoes the past few years – so I guess I’m not sure whether it has affected me one way or the other there.

        • Ruby

          no but have you tried dr scholls or life stride flats? i get them online<, nothing in store has similar support that I see

    • Beth

      Just bought them a few weeks ago and they are essential for a long day in heels. Mine didn’t come with Velcro, but they take up enough room in my shoes to keep them from moving around. Well worth the price since you can switch them out.

  4. Chicago Recruiter?

    Any recommendations for a recruiter/headhunter in Chicago for Big/Midlaw? I’m asking around on behalf of a friend who is a first year associate in a mid-sized Atlanta firm and will be moving to Chicago for family reasons. Friend specializes in labor and employment. TIA from both of us!

    • LA recruiter

      To TJ the TJ, any recs for a recruiter in LA for Biglaw (bankruptcy lit or commercial lit)? Thanks!

      • Y

        http://www.lucasgroup.com/jeff-bloom/ — he is based in Texas but I believe he heads the Chicago practice as well. They have offices across the US so if you speak with him he can refer you to someone located in your particular place of interest, whether Chicago or LA.

    • anon

      Mike Lipsky – specializes in benefits and tax recruiting but probably knows about L&E too. He has a lot of depth of knowledge about the chicago market and specific practice groups, personalities and clients, etc. I think he generally works with partners and senior associates, but he may know if a group is looking for someone more junior.
      http://www.mbhsearch.com/mbh_recruiters.html

  5. Pippit

    Threadjack- long time reader, rare poster, here. Anyone in NYC know a good real estate broker? I’m looking to rent on the upper west side.

    • AnotherLadyLawyer

      Not a fan of any of the brokers I’ve used before, but if you’re looking to move into a big building (doormen, etc.) – it may be worth it to pop into/call the building to talk to the doormen (or leasing office, if there is such a thing) to inquire about availability. I found an apartment that way a few years ago in Hell’s Kitchen and it just worked for a friend on the UWS (in the 90’s somewhere).

    • AIMS

      I cannot say she is the best thing ever, but I had a generally good experience with Alison Yaeger of CitiHabitats. I think she works out of their east side office, but it shouldn’t be a problem for her to do the west side. She was very professional and hard working, followed up regularly, negotiated for me, etc. So many people who do rentals are either not experienced or are just dishonest/ethically compromised, that I appreciated her being neither.

    • S

      I would avoid Ideal Properties at all costs. They showed me an apt. with, I kid you not, a cardboard door dividing the apt. and the neighbor’s apt.

  6. Boston Gardener

    Recommendations in Boston for:
    1. House cleaner, preferably green, for a one-time deep clean.
    2. Someone (what type of someone? handyperson, general contractor, plasterer, painter?) to fix water-damaged/paint-chipped windowsills, walls, ceilings, ceiling light that hasn’t worked since water damage. This is in an older building with presumably lead paint, so I want to get it done right.

    • Susan

      Take w/a grain of salt as I’m a NYCer (with some NJ knowledge), but a friend of mine in the greater-Boston-area once used something called Mr. Handyman for a lot of general contracting jobs like that. Maybe use your Google-fu to find them and see if they can do what you want at reasonable rates.

    • Bluejay

      A lot of cleaning companies are either partnered with or actually part of a contracting company that does work like you need. I’d look on Yelp to find a good one that does both cleaning and contracting.

  7. watchthecityglow

    Job hunting situation TJ:

    I interviewed with Government/Communications Office No. 1 last year for two different positions. I didn’t get either — though I was in the final round with both positions, my references said the No.1 Hiring Person was really impressed with my work, yadda yadda. No. 1 Hiring Person personally called to tell me I didn’t get it, continued to say how great I was/am and hoped our paths would cross again.

    Now: Government/Communications Office No. 2 is hiring for a very, very similar position. Both offices work together and I’m sure the hiring persons know each other.

    Question is, do I ask Hiring Person No. 1 to give a good word about me to Person No. 2? I don’t know specifically why I was not hired for the 2 positions — my references (all of them!) thought I had the position. Person No. 1 only had good things to say to me and my references — just said they decided to go with the other candidate. My resume/experience/skills all line up with this position, and I’ve continually added to my skills/experience. I do have someone from my current office that is going to put in a good word with Office No. 2.

    • GovtMom

      I think I’m confused. Is this office a gov’t agency? A private firm? Are office 1 and 2 in the same agency/firm? Are they different sattelite offices (e.g., NYC vs. DC) or different offices within the same organization (Office of General Counsel, Office of Doing Something Important)?

      If they are within the same agency/firm, I would drop a note to Hiring Person 1 and tell him/her that you are applying to the second position. Maybe don’t directly ask for a good recommendation since this person doesn’t really know you, but give them the opportunity to mention something to #2.

      • watchthecityglow

        Different offices within same organization (it is confusing!)

        I did pass along my resume with a short note today, and No.1 said they’ll put in a good word for me. Job hunting is just full of these weird situations…

  8. Kanye East

    You guise I had an Ellen moment today.

    Our receptionist ordered me a special gluten-free meal for a lunch meeting. When I got to the meeting, the MANAGEING PARTNER was already eating it.

    He is always very obviously checking out what I wear every day, too.

    OMG AM I ELLEN?!

    • Bluejay

      Ha.

      But seriously, how did you react? I have food allergies too and I’m always concerned that someone will eat my “special” food.

    • jcb

      Perhaps he thought that, being MANAGEING PARTNER, the extra special meal was clearly for him. How annoying! Hope you had some edible alternatives.

    • Monday

      YAY!!! I am so happy you had a nice LUNCH!

      You might get a PROMOTOIN from him also!

  9. A to Z

    I am looking for a lateral move as an experienced attorney. Does anyone have any recommendations for cold-emailing potential employer prospects? Subject line recommendations? Cover letter recommendations? Resume recomendations? Other?

    I am particularly interested in e-resume-submission recommendations.

    I have already learned to call first and find out what email address to use, and to whom the inquiry should be directed, and I have heard that you should send things in “plain text.” Should the resume be “word” or PDF? Does it matter? Any tips along those lines to share?

    • Former MidLevel

      On the format issue – I always send resumes or similar in PDF format to preserve formatting and avoid the “doc.” vs. “.docx” or other compatibility issues.

      • rosie

        Definitely PDF. You also don’t want to have to worry about what tracked changes might be lingering.

    • Megalump

      Subject: Something that identifies you as a job seeker, like “Lateral Opportunity for Fourth-Year Tax Associate?” or “Michigan 2L Seeking Summer Associate Position.” Cover letter and resume should be the standard lawyerly thing, both in PDF. I also include the text of the letter in the email, modified as appropriate. I honestly don’t think most of this is that important, except that it is the dummy test, as in, you won’t get points if you think of a great title or have a great cover letter, but if they suck or are really weird or substandard, you are dinged.

      • b23

        I would also entitle your resume AtoZresume.pdf rather than just resume.pdf. I think someone on here told me that. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal until I started interviewing people, and it makes it a lot easier for the interviewer, which can only help your process.

        • Megalump

          Agreed; I always title mine Megalump.Resume.pdf and Megalump.Cover.Letter.pdf (or add the firm name if I want to be really careful not to send to the wrong place, so Megalump.Resume.Biglaw.pdf; or you can put spaces or _es between words).

          • GovtMom

            I prefer that the resume and cover letter be put together in the same PDF, so that if I save it to my hard drive (b/c my email can hold only so many attachments before it overloads), the two stay together.

            Mine would be named GovtMomResume.pdf

          • b23

            I hope you really do entitle your resumes Megalump.Resume.pdf. That made me smile for some reason.

  10. so very anon.

    So, here’s something awful. I have been dating around for the past few months, after getting out of a very long-term relationship (about a decade-long thing) towards the end of last summer. I’d started seeing someone early last November – a bit older than me (mid-forties, I’m late 30s), told me that he’d been divorced for a couple of years, an amicable parting, no kids – and things were pretty great. Really laid-back nice guy, really complimentary and kind and one of those “oh, that’s right, THIS is what it’s like to date someone who’s into you, how nice” kind of things. We never really talked about being exclusive or committed, but it’s been really nice and we’ve been in comminucation the whole time, generally texting every day or two and seeing each other a couple times a week. Things got a little off during the holidays, we were both traveling a lot, didn’t see each other as much, hard to get each other on the phone, and he’s been traveling for work a lot over the past couple of months (3 wks in CA, etc). So it’s been kind of off and more distant, which I’ve been thinking about talking about with him so things would get back on the right track (or not, depending on how things went).

    Anyway – today, had a very, very random facebook coincidence. Saw a comment his ex-wife posted re a local fitness program I was interested in, clicked on her profile out of pure curiosity, and viola. Her fb page, replete with a giant cozy photo of the two of them as her timeline photo, apparently on a beachy holiday, posted 12/24/2011. My god, is he still married?! I feel ill. Talking to a couple of friends about it, stories are coming out of the woodwork about how common this is in the online dating world (not how I met this guy – he approached me at a restaurant bar – but still). Is this really so common? Can anyone think of a good explanation other than this ostensibly great guy is actually a disgusting lying cheat? And finally, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE that this is such a common thing?! And – if you are actively out there dating, how on earth do you protect yourself against liars like this?

    • TCFKAG

      Well, divorces are a matter of public record. So if nothing else, you should be able to find out if he’s actually divorced or married.

      Everything else — well, that’s harder. I don’t really have any good answers for you.

    • ForeverAnon

      Have you thought about just asking him directly what the deal is? Or this may be way cray, cray, but have you thought about doing a public record/background search on him to check to see if he is really divorced? Not saying the latter is the best or even a good route because if you have to resort to doing that the relationship is probably not worth pursuing. This situation just sounds like bad news. Sorry it’s happening to you.

      • so very anon.

        Not sure how to do a public record search, but I guess I could figure that out. Perhaps that is a necessary step in today’s climate. Who knew. But I am actually planning on addressing it directly with him when I see him tonight – we already had plans to meet after work. This literally just happened a little while ago and I’ve been sitting in my office thinking wow, I am too naive to be out dating people, apparently. Still halfway hoping this is some sort of bizarre misunderstanding but cannot really see how that could be. Ugh.

        • CW

          Well, I’m sure you’ll get it sorted out tonight. One possible explanation is that he really is amicably divorced from his ex-wife, and they spent the holidays together.

          • Lynnet

            Or perhaps she put up a photo recently that was taken while they were still married? (I don’t know how the timeline feature works)

          • Guest

            This would be less weird if they had kids together, but a beachy vacation with your ex-wife, with no children involved…?

        • GovtMom

          Wow. Just wow.

          I would opt for the direct route. Tell him what you saw and ask him what’s going on. There may be some bizarre explanation (posting a photo from a while back? FB being weird?) but then again, the most logical explanation is right there. He may still be married, or he may still be involved with his ex-wife. Am assuming that involvement would have to be romantic given the description of the photo as “cozy.”

          I’m so sorry.

          • b23

            Please fill us in tomorrow on what he says! I hope for your sake it’s not what it appears to be. Good luck!

      • so very anon.

        Nope. He’s one of those “fb is stupid” people. He prefers in-person friendships. That, or he is living a secret double life which fb would too easily expose, so he avoids it.

          • so very anon.

            I’m not. I can’t see anything on her page other than the giant picture of them across the top. Came across her on fb entirely through a random comment she made on a random health club I’ve been considering here in the city – saw a groupon for it recently and was poking around on its fb page. (he has an unusual last name, and he’d mentioned her first name, so I knew immediately who she was); so then I clicked on her, feeling fairly stalkery; then sharp intake of breath when the giant picture of them popped up across the top of her fb page – her chosen fb timeline main photo. Ugh.

    • Bluejay

      If you can find the wife’s home phone number, I’d call her house and ask if “John” is home. If he is, you can call him a jerk and hang up. If she says that he no longer lives there, you can apologize for calling and say you’ll call his work number (or whatever).

      Or if you’re the direct type, I’d just confront him with what you found. In a public place, perhaps over a meal so you can throw your water in his face and storm out like a telenovela star.

      • so very anon.

        I like the idea of the dramatic exit, at least. I’ll have to wear something that I can flip over one shoulder while I spin on my heel.

        • Flounce

          Didn’t we collectively decide that one *flounces* in these situations? After one bangs the gavel?

      • mamabear

        so very anon, I do not mean to laugh at your problems but I cannot stop laughing about you storming out like a telenovela star. Please do that, along with the water throwing AND the wife-phoning suggested above, if it does turn out he’s the lying creep you suspect he is.

    • DC Association

      Very odd. First, are you positive it is ex-wife? I mean, have you met her and recognize her, or he showed you photos of her? Any crazy possibility that it is his sister or something, explaining that they have the same last name?

      Otherwise, since you could see the theoretical wife’s FB profile, can you look ad see if her status is “married” or whatnot? Also look at all her photos? I am shocked about how many people don’t have their privacy settings so that non-friends can see this stuff – way more than one would think.

      Alls I can say is…when you talk to him about it tonight, tell him you expect blatant honesty in response to what you ask.

      Good luck. So sorry you are dealing with this…I am sure you are going crazy right now.

      • so very anon.

        Definitely his ex-wife (or, current wife). In the photo, she appears to be wearing her wedding ring (though he is not). She looks like a lovely person.

        Thanks for the well-wishes. I am feeling a little crazy about it – I don’t want to fly off the handle if it’s just a misunderstanding, but I am freaked out. Really not helping that I accidentally took 2 Zyrtec-Ds today, about an hour apart – not sure how much of the cray-cray feeling is the double dose of pseudo-ephedrine! urg.

        • Susan

          Oh my, that sucks. *extrabighugs* I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. Good luck, and I hope you get some closure in one way or another on this.

        • CA Atty

          This is probably too late being on CA time, but don’t discount the idea that it could be a picture from 10 years ago that the ex just recently posted. Just because one person in a relationship has moved on does not mean the other has.

    • Public Records

      Divorces are a matter of public record and checking online is one way to go. If you are going to ask him directly, that is also good. I would be (and was, with my fiance of 6 years) very specific. There is a difference between divorced, divorcing, separated, in mediation but not yet signed etc that might not be obvious to a non-lawyer or to someone not familiar with our system.

      Also, I asked to see and have for myself a copy of his divorce order. He gave it to me freely. I wanted to read it and go over it with family law lawyer friends to see if I needed to protect myself. I did, and I have. It might be a little early for you to need that analysis yet, but if he won’t show it to you when you ask, that is a huge red flag.

      I found all kinds of scary stuff in there about alimony and child support (not an issue for you, I know) that I was able to contract around in our cohabitation agreement.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Please make sure you check in tonight or tomorrow and let us know what was up. We will all be anxiously awaiting. Sorry you are dealing with this!

      • so very anon.

        You are so kind. Thanks for caring. I will check in tomorrow to let you know what happened.

    • mamabear

      Just one additional thought – when you confront him, if he is really married and sneaking around “dating”, he will probably have already come up with a really elaborate story that will sound very convincing. He will have planned for this potentially happening. He may even try to turn it around to make you the bad guy – how dare you check up on him? How dare you not trust him? He really had feelings for you and now you throw this in his face! You should be prepared for this response, because a liar is a liar, and is usually pretty good at it.

      Two other possible responses – 1) he admits he’s married (drink throw, flounce) or 2) he’s flummoxed and feels terrible about this misunderstanding (in which case, you still check out his records asap)

    • gina

      Maybe he was with mutual friends over the holidays, and she was there as well. Maybe she’s not over him, so she’s posting old or current photos of the 2 of them together as part of her mourning process. Maybe she doesn’t know how to use facebook well and unwittingly posted an old photo very recently.

      Maybe he really is divorced and as you guys aren’t exclusive, he’s also sort of dating her in an exploratory “shall we get back together” kind of way. Kind of sucks, but doesn’t make him a bad guy.

      • Anon

        There’s a lot of very questionable rationalizing going on here. To bust out the cliches: 1. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. 2. When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. If OP’s “boyfriend” is not still married, then he is at least still in close enough contact with his ex to warrant considerable concern. And I think asking the “boyfriend” is the very worst way to find out the real truth of this situation. As others have pointed out, there are public records to support his account of the facts. If he has been lying all along, what motivation does he have to tell the truth now that he’s been found out? He will just lie some more, in an effort to cover his tracks.

        Unfortunately, I think the OP’s report back to us tomorrow is that she got played by a player, and Mr. Divorced is still very much married. It is awful and I am super-sorry for the OP, because it really does suck. Whether or not she wants to tell the wife is the larger decision. As a married woman, I would very much appreciate receiving a call or email from a woman telling me “I’ve been dating your husband for six months, I apologize, I am so sorry, he told me he was divorced and I did not question it.” I would absolutely not hold the woman in any way responsible for my husband’s actions. Although, I know that not every wife would handle it that way, so the OP should take care to guard her safety.

        • Also Anon

          If you’re reading this? Your reaction may be unique.
          The wife may go nuts on the OP, and he’ll lie (she’s obsessed with me, I keep saying no, she won’t take the hint!).
          But it’s also likely NOT the first time he’s done this and won’t be the last.
          To the STI clinic!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I know someone that is divorced that hasn’t told any of her family or anyone else besides her closest friends. Her FB still says married and still has his pics b/c if she takes them down her family will know. Maybe she is doing the same kind of “not telling anyone” yet thing.

      • springtime

        Wow this is crazy. I agree with the above commenter that said “when you hear hoofbeats, think zebras”. I don’t have experience with marriage and all that comes with it, but from my experience in other situations, that couldn’t be more true.

        And now I know why the guy I’m dating asked to see my ID because he thought I might be secretly married. I mean, I know people do this type of thing, but GEEZ.

  11. 2L

    Career help threadjack:

    I normally post unde a different name but I’m non for this. I am a 2L and I hate law school. Despite working at a lovely law firm with great people and last summer (and again this upcoming summer), I don’t think being an attorney is for me, at least not in a traditional law job. My strong distaste for lawyering aside, I cannot feasibly hold a job that regularly requires more than 40 hours a week of work, especially if some of it can’t be done out of the office. I have lupus, a non-life threatening, but ongoing serious illness. It is well managed by medication and my being careful and mindful, but I do have bad days, weeks, and months from time to time. I am very efficient and always excel in jobs and maybe could do more, but I just will not sacrifice my health for a job.

    Does anyone have any suggestions for quasi legal jobs that allow for whose flexibility or at least more relaxed offices? I would like my degree to not completely go to waste, but absolutely never want to step foot in a cout room and don’t want to practice really. I think I might enjoy going in-house at the right place, but that will be hard fresh out of school and I can’t “put in my time” at a firm without possibly seriously jeopardizing my health. I’ve also though about getting into real estate, but I’m not sure in what capacity. I don’t need big law salary, but I don’t want to be penny pinching either.

    FWIW, I will graduate debt free (or I would have quit already), from a top 50 school. It is the best school in my region and I haven’t had trouble getting internships. I am from here and have ties here so I have a step up on most. There aren’t a ton of opportunities available, it is a pretty small city on the east coast.

    Are there any other options for me, or should I start looking for jobs that use my undergraduate business degree? I am regretting my decision to go to law school more and more lately.

    • Bluejay

      On the weekend thread there’s a bunch of suggestions for a commenter whose husband hates his law practice and wants a new job much like what you describe. I’d look for those suggestions.

      Like you, I have a sometimes-debilitating medical condition. I like being a lawyer, I work in the public sector and rarely work over 40-50 hours, and the upside to working for a large legal organization is that they really understand about medical/disability accommodations and have never once hesitated to make sure I get the leave and other accommodations that I need.

      • 2L

        Thanks! I read that this weekend which is what inspired me to finally post about this issue. I think the difference is that he loved the theory of law, which I absolutely hate, so some of those positioms were much to law relates for me. I am really looking for something on the very far outskirts of maybe possibly relating to my degree. I think I’m looking for a unicorn.

        And sorry to hear about your illness, as well. I’m glad you have found an accommodating workplace, as at least I know they are out there somewhere.

        • Lynnet

          Maybe go in house with a start-up? You’d probably be doing as much business-type work as law that way. The downside is that the only way I can see to get such a position is to network and essentially convince a start up that they need you.

    • TM Lawyer

      Is there anything you *do* like about law school? Also, what do you think you would like about being in-house? A little more information might help with more tailored suggestions.

      And one random suggestion – have you considered doing something like being a trademark examiner? It seems like a fairly lifestyle-friendly job, and lots of people go straight from the PTO to in-house jobs. If you don’t like IP, I would imagine that there are other similar types of opportunities in other fields.

      • 2L

        There is nothing I like about law school. I have not found anything interesting and I dread going everyday.

        I guess I think that being in-house would be better because I would be working for a business and could maybe transition to an executive position. That is pretty much the only reason and I know it’s a bad one.

        My passion is business, and I would love to someday be an entrepreneur. That is who I am and how I think. That being said, I have to find something to do for a while to pay the vbills and I guess I’d rather not feel like three years was a complete waste.

        • Guest

          At my school, 2L wouldn’t have been too late to apply for a JD/MBA… not only does that seem more your speed, but it would also put you in touch with other people looking for similar jobs and increase your qualifications for them.

          • 2L

            Unfortunately the business school at my law school is not a good one. I also have an undergrad degree from it, so I think it would be a waste, and at this point, I would be throwing good money after bad.

        • gina

          Running a small law firm requires a lot of business skills. Maybe start your own practice? Or start with a small firm that is lifestyle friendly (they do exist) to get some legal experience, then start your own firm. At first you’ll be doing everything, including the lawyering, but as it grows, you will be able to be more involved on the business side and delegate lawyering tasks to paralegals and associates.

        • Bluejay

          There are tons of law-related jobs for someone with a passion for business. You could own your own firm, be a recruiter, be an HR manager, work in compliance for a corporation, work at the SEC, etc, etc, etc. Also, the practice of law and the study of law probably only overlap by about 10%. By which I mean, 90% of what I did in law school has nothing to do with what I do every day as a lawyer. So I am sure you will find a job you like.

          • 2L

            Thanks, bluejay, these are all great ideas. I know I dot want my own firm ( I really don’t want to be a lawyer, no matter what kind), but the others sound like they are worth looking into. How does one go about breaking into a field completely unrelated to their degree, besides networking? I feel like if I applied for any of these positions they HR department would be confused.

    • GovtMom

      A couple thoughts. First, hating law school does not mean you will hate being a lawyer. They really are two very different things. How did you like your summer with the firm? Did you enjoy the work?

      Second, the time thing. That, IMO, is very different from being a lawyer. Step 1, I would talk to the firm you’ve summered at about the possibilities of working part-time, assuming you can find work you enjoy and that provides any health insurance you may need.

      Third, the type of work thing. I’ve been practicing for 13+ years and can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I’ve been in a courtroom (other than during my clerkship and through pro bono work). It’s a matter of finding a practice area that fits your personality. Sounds like litigation isn’t for you. How do you feel about transactional work? Or regulatory? If you truly, truly hate the law, then I’m not sure working in a quasi-legal capacity will help all that much.

      • 2L

        I guess i was not clear enough- I don’t want to work in a law firm. Despite working at a great firm with great people in a subject area I enjoy, I was miserable. It is not the life for me. I do not want to spend my days researching and writing memos. I do not think there are any circumstances in which I’d be happy at a firm. I have been having a hard time figuring out what I hate so much about it, but I am sure I hate it. I think it is partially feeling like a hamster in a wheel, and party the tediousness of it all, but it is too constraining and I just feel smothered.

        Luckily I am on my husbands plan so I am not worried about benefits, but I do want to work full time. It is important to me to have a “normal” life, and I pride myself on being able to accomplish that despite my condition. A little flexibility in my schedule or being able to work from home if needed would allow me to achieve this goal.

        • gina

          I don’t love researching and writing memos, and I do very little of it. I did a lot of that as a new associate, but not anymore. Law clerks also do a lot of that. As you get more experience, depending on the type of practice area you’re in and the organization you work for, you may have very little researching and drafting responsibilities, and a lot more selling, client contact, negotiating, court appearances, etc.

          • 2L

            None of that sounds appealing either, no offense. Everyone seems to be trying to convince me I will like the practice of law, when I am already sure it is not for me. There is nothing anyone can say to make me want to be a lawyer at this point.

        • a lawyer

          Many, many jobs are tedious. Most require a 40 hour a week commitment. If it is the idea of a job, working 40 hours or more a week for someone else that you do not like, and it sounds as if it may be, maybe you should start your own business. How about a firm that supplies contract lawyers, or paralegals, or even just do contract work for yourself–taking those jobs you want, when you want them. the only problem with this last one is that you need experience in a law firm to get hired as a contract lawyer :( Sorry, sounds like a difficult situation, with which I can sympathize since I am a bit tired of the tedium of law practice myself!

      • karenpadi

        This. I hated law school and I don’t mind being a lawyer (for now…). I think is absolutely great that you don’t have debt to worry about.

        That said, I’d give your summer firm a chance to accommodate you. Working for a summer is a lot different than working full time. Because you are there for more than 2 months, you’ll get better projects and fall into a routine. I think lupus is a disability under the ADA and I’d try to negotiate a part-time/contractor gig as a reasonable accommodation.

        If you really don’t want to do law, start networking. Use the network you formed at your summer gig and your alumni network. It’s going to be a lot of cold calling and “so-and-so referred me to you who used to work with your *blank*” conversations.

        • 2L

          I junk they would accommodate me, because they liked me, but I really won’t be happy there. I have no problem networking and have been doing it a lot lately, but it’s hard to network with no career ideas in mind. Hi, I’m 2L, give me a job doing I don’t care what, is not particularly successful so far.

    • Lynnet

      I’ve been also starting to look at non-law jobs where my law degree will be of some use, and the one career that has really jumped out at me has been contract administration. It would probably be an even better fit for you, given your business background. I’m still in the process of researching, so I’m not sure of the lifestyle associated factors, but I feel like almost anything has to be better than law.

      • 2L

        This sounds interesting- do you mean government contracts? Or just contracting in general?

        • Lynnet

          I’ve been primarily looking at government contracts (I live in an area with a lot of military bases, and almost my whole family works for the DoD), but I believe that entirely private sector companies hire contract administrators as well.

          • 2L

            I, too, live in an area with a lot of military bases. I am actually in a government contracting class now, and my husband works for a defense contractor, but for some reason this hadn’t crossed my mind. Definitely something I will look into more now. This is definitely the kind of suggestion I was looking for.

        • LStar

          Many universities also have contract administrators of various kinds, and I believe hospitals do as well. You might consider looking into those options.

    • Doc reviewer

      Maybe doc review? It is 40 hours a week, but you get time off between projects, during which you can collect unemployment. It’s not glamorous but it pays the bills and allows time for interests outside of work. My current co-workers are actors, photographers, real estate agents, and (usually) stay-at-home-parents, all of whom are working for a bit of a cash infusion. I expect this project to last another month or so, then I can get back to training for my sport.

      • 2L

        I don’t think this would work for me. I really do want to be part of an organization and have a full time jobs. I need more certainty than contract would would provide, as I would always be stressed about finding more work and stress is the worst thing for my condition.

    • no longer "job hunting"

      Initially I was planning to tell you to wait a bit and see what it’s like in the real world, because the practice of law is different than the study of law. But others have told you that already, and your response was that nothing anyone could say would make you change your mind: you do not want to be a lawyer.

      So don’t. Just because you could graduate debt-free from a top 50 law school doesn’t mean you should. It would take over a year of your life to finish law school. You would hate that year, as you hate law school now (it does not get better). When you finish, you will not be any further along for a non-legal job. Quit law school (or take a hiatus if you are not ready to full-on quit) and find something you DO want to do.

      (Also, because I have to mention this, I really did not want to do courtroom work and I ended up in tax law, which is mostly business/accounting work but requires a legal and tax background. I’m happy with my choice. But I was ok with spending the time in school and I will be getting an LLM in Tax.)

      • 2L

        Thanks for your input. I have considered quitting, but I am so close to being done that I just can’t bring myself to do it. I am on scholarship and the only cost to me is the opportunity cost. Since I’ve got no clue what I want to do, I was planning on using my time next year during school to try to figure something out. I also don’t want to quit yet because working at a firm this summer will really help me out financially. The firm probably has already said they may or may not have a spot for me (they said they love me and if they have the work they will, so it isn’t a performance issue), so I don’t feel bad going back without intending to turn it into a career. On top of all this, I just couldn’t live with myself knowing I had become a quitter, and I think it would look really bad on my resume.

        • Ruby

          You aren’t seeing the forest through the trees here, no offense. After you finish that year, you’ll think “well I’ll be a quitter if I don’t at least take the bar. or try practicing once… twice.” I fell into this, and I will never get those 8 years total back. If you know now, be brave and strong enough to cut your losses and pursue what you like. Don’t sink further into an investment you don’t want just on principle- that is silly, and a disservice to yourself and others in the field.

        • no longer "job hunting"

          Your reasons for staying in school suck. This is law school, not college. Your resume will not hurt if you don’t have a JD. Having a JD only helps if you want to be a lawyer, no one else cares. I can think of tons of successful people who don’t have a JD. Being a “quitter”– that’s just lingo. First, there’s nothing wrong with quitting something you don’t like. Second, staying once you’ve decided you don’t like it is way worse than moving on to something better. The opportunity cost is huge. It is an entire year of your life. You will never get it back. You are not “so close to being done” – you are a 2L. You still have 1/3 of the way to go. The scholarship could go to someone who actually wants to be a lawyer- on you, it’s wasted. Since you’ve got no clue what you want to do, figure it out. But not while you’re in school doing something you’ve already ruled out. You won’t have time to soul-search while in school, and you will hate your life which is not conducive to soul-searching. Finally, the firm “probably” has said they “may or may not” have a spot for you this summer, doing something you don’t want to do. Who cares? Go find a job that will put you in a position to do something you like.

          If you don’t get out, you will probably become an unhappy lawyer and wonder in a few years why you hate your life so much. Now’s your chance. Get out. You won’t regret it. Becoming a lawyer, you will surely regret.

          • 2L

            While I definitely appreciate the perspective, I cannot bring myself to quit. If I had a job, or even an idea of a job, to fall back on, I wouldn’t but I don’t. I am definitely working at the firm all summer and I will make a big chunk of money that will be a big help financially. Next year I have set it up so I’ll only have classes two days a week and I can use the other three days a week doing non law internships. I have given this a lot of thought and I just can’t quit. It’s really going to be onky 9 months after this summer and the three days a week will give me a lot f time to job search and figure out hat I want. I am not the kind of person who can quit something without a plan.

            I definitely get Ruby’s point, too, about figuring out where the line is and having to “quit” at some point. Right now I have no plans to take the bar so this all stops at graduation. Of course I could fall into the trap and decide to try things out but I agree hat would probably be a mistake and me just trying to justify wasting three years of my life.

            I really appreciate all of the comments I have gotten because they have given me a lot to think about. Thank you all.

  12. govtgrrl

    Update on the medication discussion a few weeks ago. I had said I was going to start taking Topamax and was not going to tell anyone at work. I was nervous about some of the funky side effects. I am happy to report that I haven’t had any tingly feelings or memory problems. The only side effect I have experienced is that I lost six pounds. Yay! Thanks for all of your support and concern. Happy to report that things are going well.

    • Susan

      I’m glad to hear that there were no negative side effects. Even more glad to hear that things are going well. Thanks for checking back in. :-)

  13. SV in House

    I think I earned a Corporette Merit Badge. I was at a conference and in the restroom and noticed that the other woman at the sink was wearing a jacket with both vent flaps sewn shut. I told her gently, she had an OMG expression and thanked me profusely.

    • OHCFO

      Did the same thing the other day, and the person was mortified—but for a different reason. She admitted that she’d been intentionally keeping them sewn shut for the past 2 years to minimize her back-end. She was mortified that I’d noticed. I felt like an a$$.

      • Suited Up

        I often keep mine sewn shut because I rarely use them and don’t want them to get all stretched out. But I wouldn’t be offended if someone pointed it out to me!

        • AIMS

          I have never had this problem and snipping the flaps open on skirts/jackets is usually the first thing I do. I think it would be different for pockets but not for back flaps.

          To the lady who sought to minimize her rear end, that’s terrible – nothing is going to attract attention more than a seem that gapes open and shut as you walk.

  14. collegiette

    I’d just like to chime in on the threads and thank female mentors here! Last week, I spent a day job shadowing an incredible lady in my field of choice. Because of this site, I felt completely prepared for everything from hand-shaking to an impromptu informational interview. These posts keep me coming back!

  15. Blonde Lawyer

    I got to enjoy a whole 3 days of nice warm air lofting in through my windows at work. Today, on March 19th in Northern New England, my boss turned on the air conditioning. At least it drowns out the obnoxious noise of wanabee bad @sses that rev their muffler-less motorcycles away from the intersection next to my office. I’m not sure if muffler-less is the technical term but whatever it is, it makes them SO LOUD I can’t have a phone conversation if the windows are open. Grrrr.

  16. Sexism?

    It may be too late in the day for this, but I have a female supervisor who truly believes that men just aren’t capable of handling multitasking. She thinks women are naturally gifted in this area and will just assign me task after task. When I mention that I’m overwhelmed (at least 1-2x a week) she totally ignores my requests for assistance and gets visibly angry with me when I mention it in a larger group situation (in hopes I can get suggestions). We’re even hiring a new (male) contractor to help out on a certain type of task and when I asked if we could possibly give him the task we hired him to do, I was told that no, it would probably be too hard for him to catch on. This is a person with decades of experience in this area. Meanwhile the new female contractor who has experience in an entirely different area was asked to help with the task instead.

    Anyone else work with a person who believes women can and should work harder then men?

    • guess i'll be anon

      Yes, kind of. I work closely with a woman who is quite a bit older than I am, and had to pay some serious dues to get where she is in the organization. As a result, she thinks women my age haven’t paid our dues & are getting off too easily. She doesn’t see that things being better for us now (and I agree they are) as a welcome improvement. She sees it as unfair to her.

  17. Anon for this

    How normal is it to get yelled at (and I mean YELLED AT) by your boss? If it makes any difference, the offense that caused the yelling had no real impact on the case, it’s just something he would have done differently.

      • Anon for this

        That’s what I thought. Just wanted to make sure I’m not overreacting.

    • AnotherLadyLawyer

      Could you ever potentially imagine yelling at someone in that situation? That’s my go-to to figure out if I’m slowly going insane… If the answer is no, you couldn’t fathom yelling — not normal. (This may be my BigLaw showing, since it’s probably not ever normal to yell/be yelled at.)

    • CA Atty

      Not normal but too usual in law. My old boss would totally yell. Luckily, I was only on the receiving end a couple of times, there were a couple of employees (family) and they would have screaming matches up and down the halls. It was not unusual to hear him yell “shut up shut up shut up!!!” all the way down the hall.

      Hated it, it made me laugh after but always stressed me out so much at the time.

    • Bluejay

      It is never normal for adults to yell at other adults. I had a boss who yelled at me once – once – and I yelled back that he did not have the right to speak to me like that. He never yelled at me again and we’ve been friends for years now. (He also didn’t have the right to fire me so YMMV.)

  18. anon for this

    I’m divorced (2010) and am filling out a Personal Security Evaluation. One of the questions is
    “In the last 10 years have you been party to any public record civil court actions not listed elsewhere on this questionnaire?”

    My divorce was granted by the Circuit Court in my county which handles civil matters as well as family matters. There is a case number and it says “concluded by: deposition.” I think the answer to the question is yes, but I’m a corporette, not a lawyerette.

    I know I should be asking elsewhere, but a few hours ago I was asked to interview for a position tomorrow and I have to have all this paperwork completed before I go. I know I can leave it blank, but I would like to have my answers as complete and honest as possible. Thank you.

  19. Anonymous

    I’m considering bringing suit against my biglaw firm for discrimination arising out of my pregnancy and maternity leave. Does anyone have a recommendation for an employee-side attorney in Massachusetts? Or has anyone done this? Thoughts? Help?

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