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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 268 Comments · by

Coffee Break – Large Python Lula

Coffee Break

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L'Wren Scott Large Python Lula If you're hunting Big Game — by which I mean expensive, splurge-worthy bags and shoes — now's the time, as a bunch of places like Barneys, Bergdorf Goodman, Nordstrom, and The Outnet have a bunch of stuff more than 40% off. I love this “Lula” python handbag from Barneys New York — the black snakeskin looks almost otherworldly, but somehow still like a very classic lady's bag. And yes, the price of $2199 is still a lot — but considering the original price was $5,500, that's not bad. L'Wren Scott Large Python Lula (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

    • DC Law

      Whoa! I’ve never seen one of those peplum shirts look good on someone until now. Props to her for rocking that look! And for having a cute style blog in general.

        • oclg

          I really like the necklace, but is there a way to see what it would look like with your initials? Mine would include an “F” and I’m never quite sure how that would look since it isn’t a loopy letter. I put them in and it said loading, but then refreshed to the original screen. I have an initial necklace that I love and wear all the time and would like a new varietal but I don’t want to spend $210 on something that would look funny.

        • kiley

          No that’s a shirt that she is wearing. She is wearing a top over a dress from zara.

  3. gref

    Can we please talk about the NYT style section today?

    First I saw this gem, about filthy rich Silicon Valley bachelors having such a hard time finding women to settle down with. Right…
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/07/fashion/public-offerings-high-tech-high-worth-bachelors.html?ref=fashion

    And there was this one, about the pre-camp trip to the salon for tween girls. Bikini wax. For a twelve year old. For CAMP!
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/07/fashion/off-to-camp-but-first-a-wax.html?ref=fashion

    They are on a roll today.

    • momentsofabsurdity

      There’s a big thread on bikini waxes for young girls in this morning’s TPS post, if you’re interested.

    • NOLA

      Long discussion about the second one in the morning post. Very interesting! I didn’t go away to camp, my mom was really conservative and I didn’t have close girlfriends at that age. I feel like I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to figure out what to do about hair, makeup, shaving, plucking, etc. etc.

      • Wednesday

        I feel the same way. I constantly envy other women who’ve figured out how to make their hair look fantastic, and their makeup flawless. To this day I still feel like I am behind the curve on all these things.

    • karenpadi

      The Silicon Valley bachelors are not prizes–believe me. I’ve gone on about 30 first dates with this “type” in the last 6 months. There is a reason they are single.

      We are talking Peter Pans, momma’s boys, Brogammers, I-only-date-hot-half-asians-who-play-video-games, I-only-date-girls-who-do-extreme-sports, etc. They don’t want girlfriends/fiances/wives. They want a geisha girl or a sophisticated prostitute.

      • shortiek

        This! I think you may have gotten all of them…
        Too many men that never grew up nor realized women are people too. Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of this in CS and engineering industry. (and still too much sexism in those departments at schools!)
        “I’m such a *nice guy*, why don’t women…”
        Sorry BRO, copious amounts of money aren’t going to make up for the fact that you have entitlement issues over how women *should* act. Your stupid “ideal girl” is an imaginary product of the entertainment industry/society/bad porn… and there is NO wrong way to be a girl!

      • Anon victim of this type

        I dated one of these types for entirely too long. I was so heartbroken when I realized a) how much p*rn he watched, b) how much weird p*rn he watched, and c) how he would rather spend time oogling pixelated twilek prostitutes on Star Wars Galaxy than he wanted to be with a real flesh and blood person. He was also a peter pan, a momma’s boy, and an all around vile person. I can’t believe the things I considered to maintain that relationship or how I somehow spent 2 years with him.

        Well, I can. The first year was spent in total denial of what was going on. The second was spent trying to fix it. The third was spent being disgusted at myself and vowing that I would forever and ever stay far away from anybody who liked computers too much.

        Also, this is a true story: I once got so fed up with his computer oogling antics that I wrote a letter to the editor to his favorite gaming magazine complaining about my gross boyfrien and how much he oogled computer game characters. Lo and behold, it actually got published as the letter of the month with an illustration and everything! He was not even the least bit amused and that got me nothing except a sick satisfaction that I somehow got back at him when… I don’t think I did because he was so oblivious to his own behavior.

        • Ashley

          I would like to stand up for at least one of the Silicon Valley types, my husband. Granted, he started out in Texas, but he’s definitely a programmer. To karenpadi, don’t give up! Several of his co-workers were really nice, just totally oblivious/socially inept fellows. They do exist, they just hide really, really well amongst the bros and Peter Pans.

          • Anon victim of this type

            I would agree the people I’ve met seem to fall into those 2 camps: the very sweet, but a bit clueless, types and the skeezpots (well I guess all men could fall into those camps, but you know). Some of his friends were exactly like you describe, just quiet and a bit socially awkward, but super sweet and smart people once you broke through that. And then the other set of people was gross and awful like karenpadi described. Wondering why I couldn’t have gotten one of those sweet nerdy types too.

          • karenpadi

            So true. I have dated some really great techie-guys over the last ten years and I do occasionally, find one. That’s why I’m so bummed about being text-dumped last night. He was one of the good ones.

      • Alana

        As the saying goes for women in engineering and similar fields, “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

    • gref

      Sorry I’m like a week behind in catching up on the posts…I just read the bikini wax thing and was sitting in my quiet office and needed some place to vent! Love this website.

      The Silicon Valley article–I love the part where they mention their “admittedly unscientific roundup” of the unmarried men, and the embedded link is the slideshow of the men. That is some awesome journalism right there.

      • karenpadi

        Love it! I had many of the same thoughts reading through the “profiles”. Too many red flags in just the short descriptions of these guys.

      • Another Fed Up SV Dater

        Love this! Karenpadi, as a 30-something trying to date near “Man Jose” and also running into the freaks you described, I’d love to do a b*tchfest over drinks with you!

    • Kanye East

      Did you see the article about bangs? According to the NYT, bangs are some amazing new thing women are discovering, but they’re also “fraught with peril.”

      • mamabear

        You’re so right. I have a sideswept bang and it’s so perilous I spend my day in terror.

        • Godzilla

          Actually, I’m curious now as to what face shape I have. Is it square, round or heart? This is crucial information for my life. How else will I know what kind of bangs to get?

        • zora

          wow, I have sideswept bangs as well, and I had no idea that they are so perilous! Thank you for alerting me as to this article, so that I can be sufficiently frightened, or I might never have known and might be going through life oblivious to the imminent danger. Phew!!

    • TCFKAG

      For the sake of my blood pressure and mental sanity I’ve sworn off all NYT “trend” pieces, so I have no thoughts on any of these. I highly recommend it, you’ll be happier.

      • Seattleite

        I love the “trend” pieces. I’m never “on trend” so it’s a bit like going to the zoo.

        • Artie

          “I’m never “on trend” so it’s a bit like going to the zoo.”

          I could never find the right words for this sort of thing, but you’ve nailed it. This may also be applicable to various reality shows, magazines, etc.

      • PT Lawyer

        NYT trend articles are like reading The Onion. They’re one and the same, really.

  4. KLG

    Thoughts on being unemployed vs. staying at a job that’s crippling your mental health? I’ve been job searching forever with no offers and last night my SO suggested I just quit at the end of the month and do contract work or focus on job searching full time. I am SO SO SO tempted. I cried with relief at the thought of having an end date in sight. But if I couldn’t get a new job while I had one, will I ever get one if I don’t?

    • Monday

      If it’s not going to be a disaster financially, I say quit. I was in this situation, did so, and never regretted it. The level of depression and anger that my job brought to me was a major problem, and honestly it took a long time for me to recover mentally and emotionally. You’re making/saving money while working, yes, but you’re also chipping away at your emotional reserves every day that you’re there (at least, if your situation is as bad as mine was).

      The fact that you felt like crying with relief when you considered this says a lot. Your SO is probably a great person to talk further with about the idea–and it’s a major point in his favor that he recognizes how serious the situation is and that you may need to give yourself a break. Good luck.

    • Monday

      I’m in moderation with my been-there advice, for some reason…so hopefully it will show up. But the takeaway is, if you can afford to quit, quit. And your SO sounds like a real keeper.

    • Anony Doc Review Atty

      If you can find a long term contract position where you are employed at the firm rather than by an agency (I’m assuming your an attorney), that’s what I’d do. I hate job hunting with a passion, but the truth is that my contract job is been much better for my mental health than my other job was — you just have to make sure its a big case that’s unlikely to settle out from under you.

      • Anon for this

        How does one go about getting a doc review position in a large-ish city?

        • D Train South

          Recruiter Recruiter Recruiter. This is the only way to go, and they are motivated to place people in these positions.

      • SoCalAtty

        I’m with Monday and Anony Doc Review Atty. Job hunting bites, but it is better than being mentally/emotionally destroyed by an abusive workplace! I had never, ever quit a job before (other than to move on/up and while keeping a great relationship), but a little over a year ago I had to do just that. 1 year later, I have a great job! I also have the leftovers from the previous job, and that was only 6 months. If it won’t be financial disaster, get out of there!

    • Sydney Bristow

      KLG, I don’t know if you’ll see this, but if you want to leave and do contract work (assuming you are an attorney) I would meet with and register with as many agencies as possible and throw your resume in to see what kind of projects are out there right now. I’ve been on a project for over 7 months, but my impression is that the number of projects is pretty low right now. If money will be a concern, then its probably best to do as much of the legwork ahead of quitting as you can so you can get on a project ASAP.

      Check out the Posse List (it shows up at the top or close to it on google) and sign up to receive emails about projects in your city. If you are in NYC, I’d be happy to email you the names and emails of my contacts at various agencies.

  5. unsolicited advice

    Ladies, don’t ever (accidentally) sleep with a coworker.

    Not only for all of the reasons that you already know about and maybe have first-hand experience with — but because, seriously, figuring out what to wear in the morning is now an even bigger pain in the *ss.

    I am going to miss the freedom of embracing the occasional Day of Frump.

    • Always a NYer

      How does one “accidentally” sleep with a coworker, or anyone for that matter? And my clothing options the morning after would so not be the first thing on my mind.

      I guess it’s occasions like this that make those extra clothes we keep at work for emergencies look really attractive ;)

        • unsolicited advice

          There are some pretty funny “PSAs” done by MTV along this line:
          http://starcasm.net/archives/92596

          (of questionable suitability for work, but no actual nudity — you can also google “s*x is no accident”)

          Snark at “accidental” terminology taken well in stride. Less concerned with “morning after,” more thinking about the long term impacts — kind of the workplace affair equivalent of, you don’t want to run into your ex while you’re wearing pajama pants in the frozen foods section of the grocery store.

        • mamabear

          hahah to slip and fall. Things have to be lined up Just So, but it could happen. :)

        • TCFKAG

          Sam Seaborn: About a week ago I accidentally slept with a pr*stitute.
          Toby Ziegler: [pause] Really?
          Sam Seaborn: Yes.
          Toby Ziegler: You accidentally slept with a pr*stitute?
          Sam Seaborn: A call girl.
          Toby Ziegler: Accidentally?
          Sam Seaborn: Yes.
          Toby Ziegler: I don’t understand. Did you trip over something?

      • momentsofabsurdity

        Hey now, Meredith accidentally slept with Derek before she even knew he would be her boss!

        (Grey’s Anatomy reference if you don’t watch it.)

        • CA Atty

          Awesome.

          P.S. Enchanted was on the other night and I totally put it on just to look at that hair!! :-)

      • CA Atty

        I have all these same questions and also an amount of commiseration, the only coworker I ever slept with is my current (2.5 years) boyfriend, but I did get a little too personally involved with a “friend” at work who was sleeping with two on a sort of casual fwb with one and significant boyfriend with the other and it was a total mess. Almost made me quit my job actually.

    • apprec the advice

      I am currently contemplating the same thing – so I guess can’t qualify as accidental – but am having the same morning wardrobe issues. So much for the easy top/pants/flats uniform ….

  6. Really?!

    So, last night I was on a third date with a guy who seemed to have great promise, only to have to explain to him at the end of the night that sex is not mandatory for third dates. WTF? Yet another one crosses to the doosh side.

    • karenpadi

      Ugh, I got “text-dumped” last night–after 5 dates, don’t I deserve a phone call? At least he told me–most guys wouldn’t.

      Doooshes, all. I am bummed. And if anyone asks me why I’m not married or having babies, I might rip their head off…wives need husbands and babies need fathers*, duh.

      *For me, at least. I respect and admire single women (and women who want wives) and single moms.

      • super super anon

        I have ended things with after 5-6 dates with an email (granted, it wasn’t serious at all on emotional or physical levels) and felt kind of guilty about it afterward. This confirms that I did the wrong thing… I’ll suck it up and make a call next time.

        I hope the next guy you go out with is someone awesome, karenpadi!

      • springtime

        No! So sad! I remember you posting yesterday about how you thought this one was a keeper!

        • karenpadi

          Thanks super super and springtime! I’ve been saying “FOOEY” all day.

      • MaggieLizer

        Yeah, he should’ve called. But you’re right, at least he let you know and didn’t just ignore your texts/calls/emails/whatever. This just means there is someone better waiting!

      • TCFKAG

        YES. Godzilla, you must make this wrestler yours so you can sic him on all the DOOSHes. You will keep him fit and strong like BULL.

    • Lyssa

      Can I just say how much I hate the idiot sitcom that put the idea that that’s a rule out there? (Actually, I think it was Friends, which I kind of like, but still, it’s just a gross concept, and it’s super-gross that people actually think that it should be a rule because of dumb sitcom.)

      • kiley

        I made a joke about the rule to my bf the other day, and he didn’t know about it. So I explained the rule and he goes “What! that is way too soon!” I thought it was cute :)

      • January

        I’m so late to the party, but I also so strongly agree with this that I wanted to chime in. Definitely puts a LOT of pressure on the early dates! (I mean, if you want to sleep with a dude after 1-3 dates, more power to you, but what if you don’t??)

    • DC Jenny

      I can’t even imagine how this conversation could possibly have gone. Bullet dodged!

    • shortiek

      ewwwwwww. Please tell me you set him seriously straight!

      Sex is never mandatory. I’m not obligated to have sex with you if you take me out on a date, you don’t *deserve* my body in payment nor do I *owe* you anything!
      This notion (taken to an extreme) is why rape is such an epidemic. I wish there were more PSAs on datings aimed at dudes.

    • MaggieLizer

      Wow, that’s kind of scary, I hope you’re ok. I think I’d be inclined to reach for the mace if I was on a date with a guy and he told me he was entitled to sex now.

    • Matched

      I had to cancel/move what would have been a sixth date once because I was sick and the guy texted back that he was basically just expecting that we were going to have sex that night. I didn’t bother to respond and never heard from him again. What is wrong with guys?

    • Really?!

      Thanks, ladies, for the solidarity! After the shock of his words wore off, I smiled and told him that if he really wanted me to touch his b@lls, I’d be more than happy to twist them off for him. Probably juvenile but it made me feel better, considering my other option was to break his jaw with my right hook.

      I didn’t feel threatened by him at all, just offended. He did apologize but the damage was done. I’m looking at it as a bullet dodged. Eh, that’s life.

  7. CA Atty

    Totally first world problems rant. I have a need for some retail therapy. But I don’t need anything right now and the only thing I could think of to look at on Amazon.com was a label maker. A. LABEL. MAKER.

    No clothes because I’m in the process of losing weight, and I’d have to try on everything anyway. No shoes because, well, even I can’t yet justify another pair when I got three just two weekends ago. No toiletries because last week (the week before?) I got the lip and hand stuff that people were recommending. (Maybe hair stuff…? I am low on my usual smoother!) (P.S. TCFKAG I LOVE the sugar rose stuff, and whoever recommended clinique’s chubby sticks, very fab) No handbags because I just got one in the shoes shopping trip. No accessories because I am full to bursting and never wear half of what I own anyway.

    Seriously folks, in order to avoid working on the most boring contract provisions known to mankind I may have to go to…wait for it…petfinder. And shop for puppies. :-P

    • JJ

      It’s at times like this when I shop for new drapes. Or cooking accessories (if you’re so inclined). Or new bed sheets.

      • Always a NYer

        It’s at times like this when I shop for new drapes. Or cooking accessories (if you’re so inclined). Or new bed sheets.

    • DC Law

      Sometimes when I’m bored or avoiding work I shop for dream condos/houses. It’s fun to dream, and there’s no danger of me actually buying anything!

    • Beach Bar

      Exercise gear? Not necessarily clothes if you’re concerned about fit, but maybe pick an activity you’ve always wanted to get into and buy some equipment for that? Examples: a bike, new running shoes, roller blades, rock climbing sessions at an indoor gym (unless you have the real thing, in which case go for it!), softball glove to play catch with friends in the park and/or join an intramural team, swim gear, or really lessons to any type of workout place–trapeze, barre, CrossFit, bootcamp, etc.

      I don’t know if that helps you, but it makes me want to go shopping…and book a trip out of 100+ degree swamplandia!

    • Godzilla

      New office supplies. Or jewelry. Maybe you could do birthday/Christmas/wedding shopping? Be a productive shopper!

    • Maine Associate

      You could start your Christmas shopping. I sometimes find that as long as I am shopping for something, my retail therapy needs get satisfied (even if it might only be breakroom supplies for my office-on the firm’s dime).

    • PharmaGirl

      Um, I asked for (and received) a label maker from Amazon for Christmas last year. Still haven’t used it but I was pretty psyched at the time!

    • just Karen

      Here’s what might be an overly altruistic idea – find someone else who does NEED something and shop for them – your local United Way will often keep a “wish list” for local charities with things they need and organizations who are always collecting for distribution. Think year round angel tree on a bigger scale…
      Just realized that this post could sound snarky or preachy – I didn’t mean for it to, because I am absolutely someone who uses retail therapy. I LOVE hunting down deals. My OCD loves spending hours reading product reviews and debating on things to buy…with the end result of too much stuff, a cluttered house, and guilt (luckily, I do stay within my means, so at least there’s no debt there to add to it all).
      So my new plan? Food shopping for the local food pantry. A set budget, and time with sale ads (and maybe coupons? probably won’t really get that crazy). Works for me because I have an odd love of grocery stores (seriously, I ALWAYS want to go to the grocery store when I go to a new country – it is fascinating to me).
      Just one way to get creative with the shopping urge :)

      • AnonforThis

        Along this idea you could check out microlending sites like Kiva or check out a program like Global Giving which vets charities so you know your money is going to an organization that is using it for what they say they are and is also getting help to become a self-sustaining organization.

    • TCFKAG

      Blankets, throw pillows, frames and pictures to put in them, iPhone or other phone cases, nail polishes, rings and jewelry, or music. Television dvds (especially throwbacks.

        • mamabear

          OMG, I just bought someone that as a wedding gift! I felt really lame because all of their china was already taken. Only that throw and some photo frames were left on their registry so I went for what was left.

          I’m glad to hear an endorsement of it.

          • TCFKAG

            I bought is as an off-registry gift for a friend when I couldn’t decide on an on-registry gift. Then I went back to get it for myself. Its lovely. You should get it for yourself. Seriously.

    • CA Atty

      Oh my god y’all are fantastic.

      just Karen, don’t worry, I didn’t see it as preachy at all. Actually, I think it’s a great idea. I always like the idea of giving back without the wherewithal to actually DO it.

      PharmaGirl, I’m not at all knocking label makers, I sneakily want one but I’m a bit scared to actually use it around the house. I’m not sure how my roommates will take it which is wht I haven’t pulled the trigger yet, but maybe today…! :-)

      All, I love each and every one of your ideas and it’s making me think about things I DO actually need, i.e. new drapes, softball gear, Christmas presents (my bf is always done with his shopping SO early), grill equipment…I shall buy all the things!

      Quick PSA. Folks, track changes in word exists for a REASON. Do NOT use “strikethrough” and different colored fonts because I will likely hate you forever (and think you’re slightly retarded).

      • PollyD

        I’m late to this but – books! Especially the fancy coffee table kind. But I like cooking implements and things for the house, too.

        The suggestion to find someone who needs things and shop for them melted my cold, cold heart. I need to do something like this.

      • CKB

        What about shopping for stuff for a hobby? I’d probably buy fabric for my sewing habit if I were in your situation.

      • SoCalAtty

        TCFKAG – like I needed another blanket! I LOVE blankets. So just to give back some, check out the down comforters at http://www.featheredfriends.com – they are a cottage gear shop, and I have a custom 2 person backpacking sleeping bag from them that is amazing!

        CA Atty – what about plants? I ordered an orchid from Amazon and it has been great. I discovered that the orchids I had bought from local sellers were being over watered and were really half dead by the time I got them.

        I also saw this show called “I Want That” on HGTV…most of the items are pretty silly/worthless, but some of them are fun!

        http://www.tv.com/shows/i-want-that/

        • easy orchids

          You’re right! also, the orchids are kept in plastic pots with mossy stuff on the top. These don’t drain. Orchids in the wild grow out on the branches/limbs of trees in the rain forests. They are not plants that grow in the ground. We have many and immediately take them out of the containers, plop them in a clay pot and fill with a bit of orchid “mix” or every styrofoam peanuts just to hold them in the pot. Done.

    • S in Chicago

      Know anyone getting married? I always have a blast looking at bridal gowns for others. It’s been years since my own wedding but I guess it just puts me in a good mood. (And yes, I would absolutely die if anyone knew this.)

    • Nonny

      Books. Always books. Even more satisfying if they are hardcover and printed on gorgeous paper.

      (or an electronic book if you are one of Those People)

    • JessBee

      Semi-TJ — are the Clinique Chubby Sticks as much fun as they look? I have a serious lip-sessories addiction, which I justify by buying cheap drugstore brand everything, but those Chubby Sticks have been calling my name…

      • Anon for this

        They are pretty fab. They go on super smooth and I don’t need lip balm when I use it (although I still use lip balm for SPF).

      • Niktaw

        I am not a Chubby Stick aficionada anymore. The amount of product you get in one stick is tiny, so they are not as affordable as they seem. A Clinique lipstick tube costs about the same and lasts 4 times as long.
        The product itself, however, is amazing.

    • anon

      I love my label maker. I basically became a hero in my former office the day I brought it in to label my files. You could tell the OCD types by the way their eyes lightened up :)

      So … yay for label maker !

  8. Charlotte

    TJ… need some style help from the hive. As in, I’ve bought this dress but am this close to returning it b/c I can’t decide where I would wear it. If the answer is just to the beach or on vacation, then I suppose I’ll pass. My husband thinks it’s not really work-event-worthy. What do you all think? Link to follow (link is petite version, but I actually have the misses version, and I’m 5’8″, if this in any way factors in). In case the link gets held up, it’s the INC Zebra Tree dress. Thanks!

      • CA Atty

        Sorry, I can’t really imagine a work event where this would be appropriate. Maybe the company picnic-type event sans baseball game? It is a beautiful dress so I would hate to advise you to return it, but if this is the right dress (confused because I don’t see Zebra Tee at the INC website) then I would say no go.

        • Charlotte

          If you google “INC Zebra Tree” it will pop up in the images section…. teal with black and white zebra-esque stripes on the sides.

          Let me clarify, though… I would not wear this to any business-type event. The events I am thinking of are social, i.e. summer party where the summer associates are invited, dinner on trip to a resort where CLE is offered. No, I would not wear this other to a party-type event, but I guess I’m asking if even then it’s appropriate. Or will I look too… trendy? Out of place? Thanks!

      • momentsofabsurdity

        I also can’t see that as work-event worthy, generally. But I might wear it to wander around town on a Saturday. It would definitely fall into “play-clothes” for me though, even in my casual office for events. Even more so if your office is generally more formal. I think its too trendy and “loud” for lack of a better word to wear to a work function of any kind. That being said, I think it’s cute!

    • Ru

      Definitely not for work. Date night with hubs or the gal pals. But I think I may get it for myself. It will pair EXCELLENTLY with a pair of turquoise wide leg pants I scored in Turkey.

    • Lyssa

      Hmm, I’m going to agree that it’s probably not going to be right for many work events. I, personally, would wear it a lot in the summer, I think. I would wear it: lounging around the house with my hubby (I always aim for a “cute comfortable” look for that, so casual dresses are big in the summer), a barbeque or other non-formal summer party (indoors or out), a family dinner, a non-formal dinner out, drinks out, brunch out, shopping with friends, doing just about anything else that’s not really, really casual with friends. Basically, anywhere that I would wear nice jeans/slacks or a sundress.

    • DC Jenny

      Are vacation and work the only options? I could see this for brunch al fresco, an outdoor concert, a rooftop cocktail party – basically any fun, casual, sultry summer event.

    • DC Jenny

      Darn it, moderation:

      Are vacation and work the only options? I could see this for brunch al fresco, an outdoor concert, a rooftop c*cktail party – basically any fun, casual, sultry summer event.

      • Charlotte

        Well, I guess I am looking for a good enough justification to keep it. These ideas you suggest are great, except that as the parent of 2 small boys, I don’t really do much of these things anymore, or at least for the time being. In the Summer, we typically go on a short trip to the Homestead (which includes professional events) in July, attend a couple of [husband’s law] work parties and go on vacation in August. Also, a concern is that it is very memorable/distinctive. It would be nice if I could really see myself lounging around the house in this, but my go-tos on that are really fitted t-shirt and shorts/skorts or nice-ish sweatpants. I think I would probably trip on this going up and down the stairs at home!

        • DC Jenny

          Makes sense. I was thinking in terms of my own lifestyle, which definitely does not involve kids. Are you talking abou the Homestead in Hot Springs, VA? I’m invited to a wedding there this summer and trying to decide if I want to go.

          • Charlotte

            Yes, the same Homestead. Have you ever been there? What might keep you from going? It’s gorgeous, but pricey.

          • DC Jenny

            Nope, I haven’t been there, but the wedding is on a Sunday, so it would require taking a day off of work for both me and the bf, who may be getting ready for a trial that week. And in addition to the cost of the hotel, we would have to rent a car to get down there. I’m not that close with the couple – never even met the bride – but the hotel does look amazingly gorgeous, so I’m trying to decide if it’s worth the expense and the hassle.

      • Charlotte

        Oh, so a wedding would be out the question? If you say casual, I mean….

        • DC Jenny

          Maybe a casual, outdoor wedding? I think the hemline makes it more trendy/casual than a regular maxi dress.

    • Charlotte

      Thank you all for your responses…. I definitely will think about it for a few more days anyway. I like the idea of nonwork parties or barbeques, because there might be a couple of those coming up. The cost isn’t the only consideration for me — I have waaaay too many things in my closet that are “just not right” for seemingly anything, yet are quite flattering on me. Ya know?

      • TCFKAG

        That’s a nice problem to have. I have the opposite problem — things that would be perfect, if only they didn’t make me look like a (fill in the blank…line backer or pudgeball being my two favorites).

      • mamabear

        Are you invited to any all-women barbeques where you get to throw wine in someone’s face? Because this dress would be perfect.

        Or maybe I’ve been watching too much Bravo.

  9. MZANON for this

    quick thanks to you guys for talking me off the ledge earlier this week re waiting to hear back about a job. As it turns out, the HR person called, I’ve had a phone interview and they’d like me to come in and talk to the person who’d be my boss….

    So now, good interview vibes requested…..

  10. Jules says Doh!

    So I go to the restroom at almost 4 p.m. ( hours into workday), do a little wardrobe adustment and find that my cute new black pencil skirt with the floral pattern still has the vent tacked shut. Black thread where the skirt is plain black, but still. . . doh!

    • PharmaGirl

      Whoopsie!

      I went to the bathroom hours into the day yesterday and noticed there were deoderant stripes on both sides of my dress. White on black!

    • Monday

      This is better than discovering that your back skirt vent has started a rip up the seam toward your bum. This used to happen to me so often that I’ve started reinforcing all back pencil skirt seams as soon as I buy them, preemptively.

      • Jules says Doh!

        Okay, that would be worse — thanks for making me feel better.

        The deodorant stripe is usually me, too. My secretary will point out, say, a slip hanging too low but she misses this one. (It’s not out of discretion, as she has no boundaries.) I’m trying to learn to put on deodorant after dressing, but sometimes I forget.

      • ELS

        This happened to me the other day. I was mortified. At least my skirt was lined and I had basically just been sitting in my office all day.

        But I did throw on the emergency pair of pants I keep in the office.

    • Seattleite

      I can’t shake that awkward feeling that Wednesday’s clothes were exactly what I wore Monday. And it was a pretty memorable blouse, too.

    • jcb

      I did this on tuesday. In my defense, I did cut off one X; just didn’t realize that it was a flap vent with two Xs, not the usual single back slit. It was a rough morning, what can I say. A very nice woman in the elevator did tell me before I even got to the office though – thank you, nice lady!

  11. just don't take my coffee

    I was just offered a job at a wonderful organization – not my dream job but a great step up for my career. The opportunity came out of the blue and the interview process went fast. The problem: it was briefly mentioned at one of the interviews that policy requires drug test before beginning work.

    I’ve smoked mj occasionally since before college – maybe 5-8 times a year with DH or on vacation (I’m in my late 20s, graduated with honors and have been climbing ladders since then – not a stereotypical stoner.) I’ve lived in areas that are relaxed about this and I’ve never worked for a company that required drug tests or had any kind of drug policy, so it honestly never occurred to me that this would be an issue.

    The company wants me to start the first week of July. I haven’t accepted the offer yet because I smoked last in the first week of May, so I’m worried I couldn’t pass 90-day drug test at this point. Is this standard? Is there any way I can inquire about the drug policy without raising eyebrows? Is it possible to delay the test? Do companies really test every new hire for managerial positions?

    I know this isn’t talked about but there have got to be other professional women who smoke. Obviously if I accept the job there I wouldn’t smoke, per their policy. And if I had planned to be job searching I probably would have stopped smoking in advance, but this job happened so fast.

    • Anon

      I don’t smoke so I can’t offer any advice from that angle, but in response to your question about companies testing: my company tests every single hire, for every single position. I don’t think you are tested again once you are hired, but a positive screen will result in the offer being withdrawn. Fortune 1000.

      • Anon

        Oh, and if it helps, it was a cheek swab test that was sent off to a lab. No idea what that means in terms of how far back it can pick things up.

        • just don't take my coffee

          I *think* cheek swabs test the last 48-72 hours. Which would be fine… 30 days would be fine… 90 days would be a problem. The funny thing is that the industry is not considered conservative and although I only know a few people at the company, every one of them smokes recreationally.

          • just don't take my coffee

            (and yes, it’s occurred to me to ask my contacts at the company… they are friends-of-friends-of-friends, and hired long ago, so I don’t think it’d be productive. )

          • warsh

            My industry is not considered conservative, but I think half of the places I worked did a urine screen, and at least half of the other half said they require tests “randomly” but I was never tested. i think its pretty standard

      • CKB

        My company does a urine test on each new hire and reserves the right to test at any time, but I’ve been told by our HR manager that they only ever test again if there’s a problem or if a person is in a car accident with a company vehicle.

    • what kind of test?

      I don’t smoke, but I had an employer test every single employee at a job I worked in college. In my current company, they test regularly and randomly for the people that work with heavy machinery. Are they doing a hair test? The one would pick up some from May I would think. However, a blood or ur i ne test shouldn’t pick that up. I think you could ask what kind of testing they usually do, and make some comment about fear of needles or something if they ask why you need to know. Tell them you’ll have to mentally prepare if you’re going to have to give blood or something. Since everything happened so fast, is there any way you could say you need time to discuss with an SO, make arrangements, etc. to delay the process a little longer?

      • just don't take my coffee

        you think I can bring it up before I accept the offer? to the hiring manager or my HR contact? I don’t want to accept the offer and then find it will be a 90-day hair test.

        I was thinking maybe I could ask about it in the context of other logistical questions re: benefits, etc. Would that work?

        • what kind of test?

          Since drug tests can be administered in a variety of ways, I don’t think it would be weird at all to ask how it is administered. I think the context of logistics would also work. In my situation, we had to go to some special clinic for the hair test, because not a lot of places did it. I needed to work around my class schedule, since it was going to take an entire morning to drive there, test, drive home. Are you still working at your current job? If you have to take time off, you definitely need to know how and where the test will be done (ie: are you going to have a big bandage from where they stick you to take blood?). Plus, some people really do have a major fear of needles or an allergy to latex, so asking about it shouldn’t trigger any weird thoughts that you must have something to hide.

        • Godzilla

          Actually, asking the logistical question is kinda brilliant. It just occurred to me that you could have your period when you take the urine, which is not ideal for many reasons. When I had to take a urine test for my job, I was so skeezed out by the whole not flushing, not using water, having them check the toilet and color and temperature and shudder. It’s just so weird.

        • J

          I’d just ask and say you don’t like needles and have never been tested before, wondered how they do the test and if you’ll have to have blood drawn. Perfectly reasonable.

        • zora

          I agree with this, just like you said: line up a few different ‘logistical’ questions you would like to discuss before you accept the offer, and have this be one of them. I think that would be perfectly reasonable, and don’t think it would raise any red flags. If the organization is in the area/culture that people smoke occaisionally, I doubt it’s a super stringent policy. I have heard of companies that have drug testing policies that are more directed at hard dr*gs and kind of designed to overlook pot smoking.

        • Anon for this

          Also, chances are 99% that unless you’re going to work at a hospital, or with kids, or enter someone’s house and install things, they’re performing a 10 panel urine test. Hair tests are highly unusual, and way more expensive. So are expanded-panel urine tests. Generally, these are only done in specific circumstances such as very high ranking officer, or given specific industry requirements.

          * *finally feeling useful, and I have to be anon since I’m in the field. Boo.

          • Anon

            I work for a fortune 50 company in an entry level finance role and I was required to give a hair, urine, and blood sample before. It really depends on the company as my position is not even managerial and I had to do a complete medical exam.

    • mamabear

      To echo what Anon said, most companies do intially test now. You might try to find out about whether it’s a hair or urine test. There’s lots of stuff online about the latter, but you are pretty screwed with the former.

      I’m not a smoker (I love my wine but hate the herb – I get totally paranoid) but papabear is a medicinal user. When he’s looking for work, he just has to stop medicating for several months. He’s in IT so looking for work is not an unusual thing in his field, where lots of people job hop every few years.

      (I just re-read my comment and realize my usage of all that lingo sounds totally Berkeley, but you know, that’s where I live.)

    • Anon

      Ok, I’m dumb when it comes to this stuff, but would a hair test come up positive if say, you had been at a concert or something where there was 2nd hand smoke? Or like, I think we have a neighbor who smokes because it wafts through our vents sometimes and we can smell it. If this is the case, could you say something about having gone to a large concert where you know 100% there was 2nd hand smoke and you are afraid your test would come up positive even though you don’t use?

      I agree with asking what test it is and also seeing if you could delay the start date a bit.

        • Anon

          Well aside from this situation, what if it’s true? I mean, really what would you do if you had gone to a concert or something and your company randomly drug tested you the next day due to policy? I guess you could say, don’t go to concerts, but what about situations like with my neighbor and their smoke wafted into my place? Would it show up in a test?

          • Anon for this

            The concentration from being at a concert or having smoke waft into a residence shouldn’t be high enough to trip anything beyond confirmation testing 12 hours later.

            *finally feeling useful, and I have to be anon since I’m in the field. Boo.

    • meara

      I think every company I’ve worked for required a drug screen (usually urine, I don’t remember blood, and definitely not hair…never heard of a cheek swab!). But warning–the current place required me to go get it done within something like 3 days of accepting the offer–it didn’t have anything to do with the start date (which was a few weeks later).

      • just don't take my coffee

        hm. that’s good to know. so I def. need to ask about it before accepting the offer.

        • anon

          Just start chugging water now, even if it’s in three days, you should be fine.

        • Anon

          I used to smoke a lot in HS and college, and had to get tested every year for the internships I’d have at my parent’s place of employment (emphasis added for potential embarrassment if I had failed). I passed both urine (by drinking a TON of water before so the urine was very diluted) and hair strand. The hair strand I believe was because I highlight my hair regularly so the color and (likewise, I assume) the THC was stripped from the hair. So point of this, is if you highlight regularly and are getting a hair strand, you may be okay.

          • Criminal atty

            I represent probationers who fail drug tests all the time. Some urine tests will give a result of “Diluted sample” if you do this. The probation officers will count this as a positive, since it is an attempt to subvert the test.

            The probationers often use the “second-hand smoke” excuse. It never works.

          • KK

            @criminal atty. This is true, but no reasonable company would look at it that way for employees– being on probation is a bit different, i.e. missing a drug test is a “presumptive positive.” I can’t imagine a company that would be like that for initial employment screens (and if there was such a place, I wouldn’t want to work there). Just stay well hydrated, don’t force yourself to drink gallons that morning and you should be fine.

            Also, I agree with those who said the chances of them doing a hair test are slim. It’s possible, but it’s really uncommon. Hair tests are a lot more expensive than urine tests. I’d say 99% probability it will be a urine test, so you’ll be completely fine after 30 days. Since you aren’t a chronic user, you would probably be fine in less than 30 days. By your count (first of may until first of july), you have 60. You’ll pass a urine test with flying colors.

      • edj3

        My current company does urine drug screen pre-employment and then random cheek swabs whenever.

    • Jules

      Yes, lots of companies do this for all new hires, regardless of rank.

      I agree with triyng to put things off for just a little while, and it doesn’t hurt ot ask about what kind of testing they use — just say you’ve never done it before and wonder if it’s a urine test, blood test, etc. (It won’t be a blood test, because a lot of substances are out of the bloodstream pretty quickly.) I’d be surprised if it was a hair test, which is much less common and almost certainly more expensive. (I work with truck drivers and others who are subject to testing; the standard is urine testing.) Definitely ask as part of a set of overall questions about benefits, start date, whatever, and be casual.

      Here’s some info about MJ testing from a reliable website:

      How Long Can Marijuana Be Detected?
      Some THC metabolites have an elimination half-life of 20 hours. However, some are stored in body fat and have a elimination half-life of 10 to 13 days. Most researchers agree that urine tests for marijuana can detect the presence of the drug in the body for up to 13 days.
      However, there is anecdotal evidence that the length of time that marijuana remains in the body is affected by how often the person smokes, how much he smokes and how long he has been smoking. Regular smokers have reported positive drug test results after 45 days since last use and heavy smokers have reported positive tests 90 days after quitting.

      If it’s a urine test and you’re not a regular user you should be fine. But the second-hand smoke arguments almost always fail, so if have to test immeidately and you do test positive, it’s better to be honest that to try that tack.

      Good luck!

    • anon

      You should be fine if you take 6 weeks off and drink lots and lots of water and take a few Milk Thistle capsules daily. Don’t say anything about the drug test though. I smoked the first week of May too, not much and I usually do not except randomly. I had to take a blood/urine test for my life insurance policy on Friday and that was only 5 weeks with the water and milk thistle.

      Look up other things that you can take to detox. It all gets flushed out eventually as long as it’s not a hair test, you can speed up the process of flushing it.

    • KLG

      I actually had to take a urine test at an interview for an in-house position in a Fortune 500 company last summer.

    • MJ

      If it’s urine, you should be fine. Particularly if you drink lots of water and flush out your system. There are drinks and things formulated specifically for this. Google it.

      If worst comes to worse, which it won’t, pull a super straight face and say, “I really don’t know how that could be. I request to take the test again. This really is impossible.” By then, you’ll certainly be fine.

    • Anon for this

      Hair will generally only capture and hold if you’re a medium to heavy usage smoker. When you say you smoked in May, how much did you smoke?

      • just don't take my coffee

        shared a bowl one night. Also smoked a couple times in April, but nothing for 3-4 months before that.

        ok, putting together a couple plausible questions regarding dress code, orientation, their health care network, etc. Crossing my fingers it’s a urine test.

        • PharmaGirl

          Not sure if I would even bother asking. I think you’re probably good to go, given the timing.

    • Divaliscious11

      Not sure if I would even bother asking. I think you’re probably good to go, given the timing.

    • just don't take my coffee

      Thanks folks. I just emailed the hiring manager. We’ll see.

      • SoCalAtty

        I actually have a serious problem with needles. I would not at all be above sharing a “the drug test doesn’t involve needles, does it? I usually have someone drive me if it does just in case I decide to pass out.” In my case, it is totally true! Lots of people have “vasovagal syncopy,” or just common fainting.

        I stay away from the stuff just for that reason. My luck, some awesome government position would call me in the next day.

    • Anon for this

      Please, please take my advice and understand that if you ask any questions other than “Where and when is the test?” it could very well raise a flag that you have something to hide. Keep your mouth shut on this one.

    • anon for this one

      I smoke kind of a lot. The one and only time I had to take a test, I abstained for maybe six weeks beforehand and was fine. I think you’ll be okay.

  12. shortiek

    I need suggestions for personal fiance books. Something that’s aimed at complete n00bs and/or recent college graduates.
    I seriously need to pick one up for myself, (I know the difference between a Roth and a traditional IRA, but how do I decide which works best for my circumstances?) and I figured it would also make a good gift for my friends that just graduated and are figuring out thier finances on thier own for the first time.

    Since I have friends in a wide range of financial situations (budgeting and living at home, living abroad, going for a Masters, awesome job with Slumberger), maybe more than one book…

    “I will teach you to be Rich” was recommended to me, so that’s already in my Amazon cart. Any other (or better!) recommendations?

    • Seattleite

      “Financial Peace University” by Dave Ramsey. There are lots more by good authors (Suze Orman, et al.), but I like his best because he is very practical and specific with regard to budgeting.

      He has a specific order for which items should be highest priority in your budget, suggested percentages of income to spend, etc. Also, real-world advice about the process (“you and your spouse will fight about this six times in the first month, three in the second, and once in the third, but then you’ll be set”) that made me feel like less of a freak that it wasn’t All Working According To My Magic Budget. I’m good with money, had been reading financial books for 20+ years, and he still taught me something.

    • Lydia

      I started when I graduated from law school with Personal Finance for Dummies and thought it was really good. It covered all the basics. I would recommend it.

    • Divaliscious11

      Not a huge Suze fan, but her young, fab and broke is good when you are just starting out. NOt a Dave Ramsey fan, but there are some benefits – in particular I don’t agree with his completely no debt philosophy, but that works for some folks. I really like the Automatic Millionaire….

      • Margaret

        I got Young Fabulous and Broke for each of my sisters when they graduated college. Neither were sophisticated about finances at all. They both laughed at me, but then both came back and told me later how very helpful the book was. So I recommend it.

    • JessBee

      I have often thought about writing a “How to Be a Grown-Up” book for exactly your situation (and mine, and my classmates in law school, and everyone I know under 30 at least…). I don’t have experience with Dave Ramsey’s book, but I’ve heard great things about it. “Where’s Dad Now That I Need Him?” has some really simplified advice on these kinds of things (also a lot of other things– it may be a little too simplified for you).

      I also found that meeting with a professional that I trusted about things like “Which IRA is right for me?” was very helpful. We had to try a few before I was comfortable with the person, but he’s been a great help in terms of helping us decide what arrangements make the most sense for us. Also, for budgeting, I can’t recommend Mint dot com highly enough. It makes seeing your spending and budgeting really easy.

      • new york associate

        Back in the late nineties when I was graduating from college and starting out on my own, I was completely obsessed with this book called “Three Black Skirts,” which was exactly on how to be a grown-up.

    • MOR

      I read Suze Orman’s The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke right after college. I liked it, and it’s definitely beginner level.

    • Anonymous

      Highly recommend “Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich” by Lois Frankel, author of NGDGTCO. Read “Young, Fabulous, & Broke” too, but Nice Girls gives excellent reasons why you shouldn’t let a guy in your life manage your finances, whether it’s your husband, your dad, or your male financial adviser.

    • Amy H.

      Fourth (fifth?) Suze Orman’s “The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous and Broke.”
      Also: Beth Kobliner’s “Get a Financial Life.”

    • Sydney Bristow

      Not books, but I recommend checking out the Suze Orman Show video podcasts and Clark Howard podcasts. Both are free. I’ve learned a lot just by listening to other people call in and ask questions that are similar to my own situation.

  13. anon

    I don’t really have any advice on timing, but I had to do a drug test before I started work as in-house counsel at a medium to large sized company. Do you know that it is a 90 day drug test? Mine was a hair test, but I think a urine test can only detect recent drug use.

  14. oclg

    Need advice on what to tell a friend.

    Male friend of mine is living with his girlfriend, who just lost her job. She has a few opportunities that would take her to another city, but there is a chance she would stay in same city. She wont know for about a month what will happen. Likely they would break up if she left. Friend doesn’t know what to do because he needs a roommate to afford the area (they live in a 1 br right now). Does he look for a roommate now and try and move, or wait and see? What would you do?

    • kiley

      breakup now if the only thing keeping them together is that he needs a roommate. blech. if they are gonna breakup if she has to go to another city, just rip the bandaid off now.

      • TCFKAG

        I have to agree, once you’re looking for a new roommate to move out of your shared apartment — you might as well just move on.

        Here’s what I would say to him. Obviously this girl was important to you. You moved in with her. Do you want to stay with her? If so, why not find a place, with a roommate, where they can live together, but where he can afford the rent on his own. That way — if she has to leave — then he’s not suddenly out on the street. But if she stays, they’re together. But also — why if she moves do they automatically break up. This sounds like a serious relationship. Or are they really just roommates who sleep together (which is fine, but then…well, he should just move)?

        • kiley

          yeah that’s why I’m on team just breakup now, since they would if she moved without even trying long distance and he would obviously never move for her.

        • oclg

          They aren’t only staying together for living, otherwise I would definitely be on team breakup too. They’re on the same page with regard to breaking up if she leaves, but he is really upset about it and I guess doesn’t want to jump the gun. It is a pretty serious relationship, so as an outsider I’m surprised at this decision.

          I told him essentially the same as TCFKAG suggested: why don’t you find a place that you can afford on your own with or without another roommate and if she stays, great, if not, you aren’t homeless. Glad to know I didn’t terribly mess this up.

  15. big sigh

    My mother is driving me insane. She is impossible to reason with. I’m an idiot for thinking moving back to my connection was a good idea. Sigh. Rant over.

  16. Anon

    Similar to yesterday’s thread, is there some non-alcoholic thing that looks like red wine? I’ve only seen sparkling juice. We’re having people over so I can control the circumstances.

        • NOLA

          I was going to say that white grape juice looks like white wine. I’m not sure if cranberry juice is dark enough to pass as red wine – you could add a little grape to darken it.

    • Research, Not Law

      Just hold a half-full glass of real wine. I would be able to smell that your glass had juice in it when sitting next to you, and I’m pretty sure that I could recognize it by sight, too.

      People notice what’s in your glass; they don’t notice whether you’re actually drinking it. If they do seem to notice that you’re never refilling, then trade glasses with your husband or another confidant.

      This is a vetted procedure ;)

      • JessBee

        I was thinking the same thing. If you had grape juice, and we were within a few feet of each other, I would know it was not wine. And then I’d totally wonder why you were pretending to drink wine.

    • just Karen

      My grocery store sells non-alcoholic wine – I’ve never tried it, but it is the most likely thing to look and smell like the real thing.

    • PirateLawyer

      Does it have to look like red wine? Another good option is something like sparking pomegranate juice in a champagne glass — you can pretend you added gin. I went to a party where this was a beverage option, and no one would be the wiser if you 86’d the gin. Just as an aside, pomegranate juice with gin is delish. Pop a few raspberries in there for good measure, too!

  17. Anon SF

    I just got these kate spade shoes, which are a bit different than my normal style. What would you suggest wearing with them? I think they would be cute with a black dress, but I feel like they have further potential that I am not seeing. Also, if anyone else is interested, they are really comfortable, and also come in a red/purple/camel combo.
    http://www.katespade.com/reena/S970081,default,pd.html?dwvar_S970081_color=103&start=1&cgid=kate-spade&q=reena&navid=search

    • Former MidLevel

      These are all neutral colors, so you could pair them with any color. I think they’d look especially good with colors like red, aqua, or any jewel tone.

      • Anon SF

        Thanks for the advice, I tend to wear more conservative, solid color pumps, so these are a real adventure for me.

  18. Alanna of Trebond

    Reporting back re Ludlow Suit. I don’t know if anyone else wanted this suit (it was the Suit of the Week last Wednesday). Mine just came today (I got 00 jacket, 2 in pants) and it was really terrible on me (I am 5’6″ and 118 lbs). The jacket was too long and had some weird fit issues–it was too wide at the top but very tight on the arms, but gapped at the bust (which is really strange for me, I am a 32B). The pants were even more terrible–they were kind of like bellbottoms, which looked super 70s along with the herringbone.

    So, not for me. I would really like a suit in that fabric though–it was quite lovely and it made me want to redo the suit, which is not really worth it for the $500 I spent on it. Would love to know where anyone else has gotten a similar suit.

    • Alanna of Trebond

      This is the Ludlow Suit from Jcrew (I am still amazed at how lovely it looks on the model).

  21. Anonymous

    So, weeks and weeks ago, I received from our company administrator a “save the date” meeting request for the company summer outing. The outing is June 14, next week.

    No other update yet on this summer outing. Can I safely assume that it is not happening on June 14, and make other plans? (It is a small company and sometimes disorganized.)

    • Hel-lo

      How about an email to here, “Just wanted to check in. Haven’t heard anything more about this. Is it still happening?”

    • Bunkster

      At my last company, we got a “Save the Date” and then nothing until the day before…

  22. ML

    Hey ladies, it might be too late in the day for this question, but I hope some of you can help me out:

    My husband has lost some weight over the last few years and needs to buy a new suit. He’s still losing weight, plus he wears a suit about once a year (literally, like at a wedding or a funeral), so we don’t want to spend a lot of money. We’ll probably head to Macys and maybe check out Nordstrom as well. I’m looking for suggestions on brands to look at or avoid for his body type: He’s about 5’8, and stocky, with extremely broad shoulders, a barrel chest, and a thick neck. He has a fairly slim waist and his stomach isn’t big, but his pecs/neck/shoulders/arms are gigantic and give him the appearance of being “top heavy.” It’s always been really hard for him to find clothes that fit well. Any brands you might suggest? I.e., how is calvin klein? Tahari? Tommy Hilfiger?

    I’m a slim pear shape so Banana Republic works well for me, but I avoid Jcrew, at least for pants. Looking for the same type of general recs for mens suits. Any help would be much appreciated!

    Oh, and per this site, I DID suggest a personal shopper at Nordies, but he is very resistant to the idea (thinks it’s too “fancy” plus he used to actually work at Nords in the shoe department and is sensitive to commissions…doesn’t want to “waste” their time if he can’t afford to spend a lot. So for now, we’re just going to do the first run by ourselves.)

    TIA!

    • layered bob

      we just did a frenzied suit-shopping expedition a couple weeks ago for DH and had the best experience at Macy’s, for our budget and style (out of Nordstrom, Jos A Bank, J Crew, Banana Republic, JCPenney, and Brooks Brothers). Was surprisingly disappointed in this instance by Nordstrom, and surprisingly impressed by Macy’s. I’d head straight to Macy’s if I did it again – lots of things in our price range for decent quality and a variety of fits.

    • Seattleite

      The Nordstrom Men’s sale starts in a week. It’s worth at least walking through to check prices.

      If he expects to lose enough additional weight that tailoring down would be a problem, or absolutely won’t do Nordies, check out Men’s Warehouse. The cheesy commercials give it a bad rep, but they have stuff at many price points, the quality is higher than the price, and I’ve never had a bad experience with sales staff.

    • Merabella

      My husband is the male equivalent of an hourglass shape – broad shoulders and chest, small waist, big booty. He has found Michael Kors Suits to fit him well – we got him a blazer at Macy’s a few months ago and it is broader through the shoulders and tapered through the waist. That might be a good one to check.

      We just asked the guy at Macy’s in the suit department to make suggestions and he was great. We got a pretty good deal as well.

    • KLG

      I would also suggest looking at athletic fit or tailored fit suits. They are usually cut for guys with big shoulders/narrow waists.

      Also re: Men’s Wearhouse, if you keep an eye out, they do often do BOGO sales which is ideal for those of us who wants our hubbies to look nice but don’t necessarily want them to spend money on suits they never have any occasion to wear.

    • ML

      Wow, thanks for all the recommendations, you guys are the best!
      I’ll report back on how it goes. :)

  23. May

    Hi Ladies!
    Two question.
    1. Is that real snakeskin? If it is, I’m wondering if I’d have an issue with that… Not that I could afford that bah in a month of Sundays though. Sigh.
    2. I’ve been reading and posting on this site for 4 years now, but being 10+h ahead makes it real hard. Please, pretty please, will someone educate me on JSFAMO. Makes me so sad every time I see it. Even tried googling to no avail. Even google let me down on this :(
    Dashing to work! Have a nice evening y’all!!

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