Corporette.com

Updated: Oct 31, 2018 38 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Michael Stars ‘The Artist’s’ Print Wrap

Coffee Break |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Michael Stars 'The Artist's' Print Wrap | CorporetteI've been a fan of Michael Stars t-shirts for years, but the scarves are new to me. The brand has several scarves available at Nordstrom right now and they're all brightly colored and lovely — vibrant yet soft somehow. The pictured scarf is $58 at Nordstrom. Michael Stars ‘The Artist's' Print Wrap Here's a lower-priced version. (L-3)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. anon

    Any mothers of twins here? I have 4 month old twins and I think I’m going to lose my dam*n mind. I’m generally a pretty positive person but this sh*it is hard. They were sleeping from 8 to 3 or 4 consistently but over the last few weeks have seriously regressed in their sleeping habits (probably the dreaded 4 month sleep regression). Now one is waking up at 1 and then again at 4 and then wanting to get up at 5:30. I think my other guy would sleep through but he’s being woken up by his brother. It’s like a cruel joke.

    I’ve been scaring myself a bit lately because I’m just running out of patience. When they cry for the 6th time at night and I’m exhausted I get mad, sometime like really mad. I’ve never felt like I’m at risk of hurting them or anything I just feel bad that I get so angry when I’m supposed to be “enjoying this time”. Last night I went to grab my cell phone off the night stand in a jerky fashion and didn’t realize it was plugged in (it was dark). Knocked the lamp and everything else off and scared the crap out of my husband who now thinks I’m a psycho.

    I think I need to stop fighting it and just give in to the fact that Zoloft is in my immediate future (not sure if you can take antidepressants while breastfeeding though).

    • Jules

      You are exhausted, which can make anyone crazy. One baby is hard, two is super-hard (and who says you’re supposed to be “enjoying this time”? I have had a lot of wonderful times with my son, now 20, but the first few months of my his life were not among those times.) You need to work on ways to get more help/rest. Maybe dad gets up with the babies on alternate nights? or at least brings them to you if you are nursing?

      I’m not a medical professional but there may also be some post-partum depression going on here. Ask your doctor, ASAP.

      You are brave to face this, and I hope you get the support you need. Hugs.

    • Anonymous

      Anyone who says you’re supposed to enjoy taking care of newborn twins is a psycho. Stop breastfeeding and alternate nights with your husband. No one benefits from you being this overwhelmed.

      • bridget

        Exactly.

        Wean your children. Breast-feed in a way that enables your husband to feed your twins at night. Have someone take them during the day so you can get a nice, long nap. But if you insist on doing everything, and perfectly, you’re going to go insane – and your twins will be worse off than they would be if you had just implemented the 80/20 rule in raising infant twins.

      • Need to Improve

        You don’t need to totally stop breastfeeding if you take a night off every other night.

    • Anon

      I have twins who are almost 2. One of my guys got the hang on sleeping on the early side, but the other was rough. It is seriously hard. And when you need to put your pillow over your ears and ignore it and hope that they fall back asleep, you won’t be the first one. When my babies were about 8 months old, everyone started to tell me that I didn’t look so tired all the time.

      And I advise that you and your husband have an understanding that what happens during late sleepless nights stays there. We definitely had some fierce bickering sessions about who would deal with the babies, but don’t let that grief carry over to the daytime.

      • AnonNYC

        Mom of 4 year old twins here. The first year sucks. There are nice moments, of course, but I found it generally to be awful on a day-to-day basis. It’s helpful to let go of any pressure you feel to enjoy this time and just focus on survival. I was a zombie for the first year due to sleep deprivation and general feelings of being overwhelmed and wondering what I had gotten myself into. I didn’t sleep for more than 3 hours at a time for months. But it has gotten so much better with every year that passes – there was a big turning point at a year when they finally both started sleeping through the night. I know that that seems like a long way away, but hopefully you take some comfort from knowing that it only gets better from here.

      • RR

        My twins are 7. Baby twins suck. It gets better. And +1 to the “what happens after midnight stays after midnight” rule. You have to find a way for your husband to get up too. Maybe he could take the 1:00 wakeup? Consider a night nurse? You are still in survival mode. I told everyone that as long as I got to 6 months with two parents, two babies, and two dogs still alive, I was considering it a resounding success. After 6 months, we’d consider how to do better than survival.

    • BigLaw escapism

      I know someone who hired a night nurse just to sit up at night and feed the baby (singular, but there was an older sibling). She is usually cheap as all get out and considers it the best $ she ever spent.

    • Anonymous

      Not a parent, but is it possible to have them sleep in separate rooms so they don’t wake each other up? Then you also might be able to tag-team more easily.

      Also, agree with night nurse. We have a family member who was a night nurse for a set of baby twins on our street. It seemed immensely worthwhile for the parents.

    • Coach Laura

      Not a mom of twins but…there’s a reason sleep deprivation is considered torture. Are you still on maternity leave? If you are working and spouse is working, you two together need to find a way to trade off. (The answer is different if you’re not working at present.) You can agree to alternate nights being “the one that gets up.” Or one of you goes to sleep at 8p.m. and wakes up at 2a.m. and the other goes to bed at 2a.m. and wakes up at 8a.m. Any extra naps during the “tour of duty” hours are a bonus. If it’s not your turn, wear earplugs and eye mask.

      Choosing to alternate in one of these ways balances the stress and gives each of you undivided sleep hours, which are necessary to revitalize. This may mean sleeping in separate rooms. (We had a bed in baby’s room for this.)

      If your spouse can’t do this (has 80 hour work weeks or some other valid reason) then maybe a night nurse is needed (and hope you have the income needed).

      It’s vitally important to your kids, your family, your health and your marriage that you get more sleep. I also echo talking to your doc about PPD. Good luck!

      Sleep deprivation, as you’ve found, can make one cranky, forgetful, accident-prone, depressed and/or angry. Find a way to share the burden.

      • Anon

        +1 to sharing the overnight wakeups. Since you are b-feeding – if you aren’t pumping, then need to start pumping so that your husband can help (or supplement with formula – you do you). Unless one parent has the type of job that would be dangerous to perform when sleep deprived (not “dammit I made a drafting error” dangerous, but “people might die” dangerous), then both get to share in the “joy” (bwahahaha) of those early days equally.

        • Away Game

          This. +1,000,000 to anon 3:47. Mine are 8 years old now and yes, that first year is hard. I barely remember weeks at a time, I think (take lots of pictures and video!!) I Bf and pumped so that we could stagger duty. My shift ended at 2am and DH took over. Any baby awake after 2am was his to deal with, so I could get 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Any baby awake before 2am was my, um, little darling. It meant I sometimes nursed and pumped at midnight, as well as during the day, but that was worth it to me. Both DH and I were back at work full time, and frankly those hours at the office were much easier than the hours at home. I know some new moms and dads who feel that night time wakeups are the SAH spouse’s job, but that leaves the SAH spouse with 24/7 duty and no REM sleep, which just – in my view – is absolutely not sustainable and not healthy. Again, unless DH is driving a forklift or assembling bombs for a living, night chores absolutely should be shared – especially since this isn’t a permanent problem, but rather one that is manageable for the relatively short time it occurs if both parents pitch in.

    • Mrs. Jones

      I don’t really have advice but can commiserate: I did not enjoy having an infant or nursing AT ALL. Not getting sleep is not fun, to say the least. I started taking antidepressants when son was 2 and wish I had started earlier. A friend took them during and after pregnancy, so I suppose it is an option. Another friend basically fell off the face of the earth until her twins turned one. It will get better, although that’s not much help now. Hugs to you.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Just an anecdote. I don’t have kids. But a friend of mine came down with a bad cold postpartum that she just couldn’t kick. Her doc said the issue was she was so sleep deprived. Even though her husband was getting up at night with the baby it was still waking her up. Nothing could stop her from waking up from the cries. When she continued to get sicker she finally checked into a hotel for two nights and ended up kicking the damn illness.

      If you can’t sleep through the cries could you stay with a friend? Stay in a hotel? Just to get one good night sleep and then get back to the regular routine. I know it sounds crazy but those two nights of sleep helped my friend so much that she looked like a different person after.

      Same happened to another friend who had a brief hospitalization post partum. She thinks if she had found a way to get sleep she might not of ended up in the hospital and that the hospital probably “cured” her because it gave her a place to sleep.

      Don’t feel guilty if you need a night or two to yourself. You have to help yourself before you can give yourself to others. Of course, if your SO helps you to do this, offer to return the favor!

    • Anonymous

      I have twins who are about to turn 12 so it is possible to survive. Please don’t feel like you are failing, twins are hard. I vividly recall crying right along with mine. I did force them to the same schedule. If one woke up and wanted to eat, I fed the other too. That made things slightly easier. Also, nursing twins is hard. Talk to your doctor about whether this is something you should continue. I know I felt like a huge failure when I weaned mine at 8 weeks but I just couldn’t take it any longer. I did take anti-depressants and that plus the weaning really helped. Don’t try and do it alone! Internet hugs to you.

      • Hollis

        Just saw this. Now I am recalling that I did force them to the same schedule and if one work up, I woke the other one to eat (and woke up DH to get the formula bottles from the fridge and help me bottle feed right after they tandem nursed). We also used a formula pitcher, mixed some insane amounts of formula in the pitcher, pre-poured them into bottles in the fridge, and had our twins drink cold formula straight from the fridge right after nursing and that worked out fine.

    • Hollis

      I have twins who are now 7. Those early months were a complete blur. Survived with a lot of help from my husband (I woke him up at every feeding) and my mom, who handled all of the cooking/cleaning. Where is your support? If you don’t have any, I highly recommend paying for a night doula or nanny who can help out at least once a week, or at a minimum, can watch them for 5 hours during the day, preferably out of the house, so you can get in a nap. Sleep deprivation is no joke, but you will get through this. Yes, you will get through this. The nights are long but the days will fly by. Hang in there!

    • Need to Improve

      No one who has had a newborn–let alone two–is going to tell you that you are “supposed to enjoy this time.” Please, sister. This sh!t is hard. Of course you feel tired, mad, bitter, stressed, and then some. It’s all normal.

      FWIW, there is a good deal of literature out there on taking benzos when BFing. Although your average doctor who is following the tried and true rules (but not looking too hard under the hood of the car) will say they are not recommended, there are specialists out there who study lactation and drugs, and they will say certain benzos are ok with BFing, particularly Ativan. Find the medical studies, read them for yourself, and talk to your doctor (or a lactation and drug specialist).

  2. Anon

    I tried to post under the morning post, but i think it got lost.

    I found out last night a close friend miscarried. She was almost 11 weeks and not many people knew she was pregnant yet. I’m sad for them, and am trying to wrap my own head around it. I also didn’t know who to go to for advice, since it likely would have meant explaining who was pregnant and I didn’t want to put her in an awkward spot.

    Any advice on what to do (or not to do, maybe they would prefer to grieve privately?) welcome. If anyone who has been through this terrible personal tragedy is open to sharing, is there anything you needed in particular or wished your friends would have done during that time?

    • InfoGeek

      Don’t be afraid to send a card and to ask her if there’s anything you can do for them.

      You can send flowers, if you want, although I was glad someone sent me a potted plant instead as I didn’t want to see the flowers die.

    • Anon

      I think InfoGeek’s advice is great.

      PS it did post on the morning page – it might be on the second page of comments

    • Anonymous

      Are you supposed to know this? Did she tell you she was pregnant?

      If you aren’t someone she has shared this with respect that and do nothing. If she did tell you then I think sending a card is nice.

    • Marilla

      If she shared with you that was was pregnant/you were supposed to know, I think it would be kind ot reach out and say you’re thinking of her. When I miscarried, all I wanted was to curl up in a ball for a few days. I think a card or anything concrete would have been overkill for me personally, but a text, email, or FB message saying you’re thinking of her, you’re sorry for their loss, you’re here for her if she wants to talk or if she wants to watch a movies together in pajamas and not talk, whichever, would be perfect. And in the future, just be sensitive when talking about babies, pregnancy, etc – I didn’t want to dwell after the fact, but it was hard to to listen to friends complain about morning sickness when they knew our situation and knew I would love nothing more than to have the same complaints.

      • Anon4this

        +1 to all of this. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and talk to her about it, even if it’s uncomfortable. She’ll tell you if she doesn’t want to. But if she does want to talk, it would mean a lot to be there. I went through this more than once and it still stings that a very good friend barely acknowledged what I was going through. It’s a tough topic that makes people uncomfortable but if you are close to her, make the effort.

    • Anon

      Thanks for the great comments all, and @InfoGeek, the plant is a perfect idea, I think.

      @Anonymous, yes. I knew both that she was pregnant prior and then that it happened.

      • A different anon

        +1 to asking her how you can be there for her. I haven’t experienced this personally, but (probably like most of us) have known women to experience both early (1st trimester) losses as well as full-term losses. Everyone chooses to grieve in their own way, continues to acknowledge (or not) in their own way, etc. Be there for her however she chooses to need you.

        • Anonny

          I think asking “how can i help?” is not helpful. Just do something – food, flowers, a card to say you’re thinking of her, planning a dinner out, etc. I’ve had a number of terminal illness related personal tragedies in my family in the last 10 years, and I never know how to answer the question. I recognize that it is extremely well-intentioned, but it gets me no where and gives me anxiety to answer. The best thing people did to help my family was just dropping something off and leaving.

    • meme

      I am really private and never wanted to talk about it much when I miscarried. Usually only my husband knew. Once I miscarried quite late, and a lot of people knew, including work, and one friend who knew I wasn’t the type to want to talk about it much sent a care package with a card and a some chocolate and other “treats” you hear pregnant ladies aren’t supposed to eat (I only remember the chocolate, but I know there were other things in there). I appreciated the gesture even though I have no problem eating chocolate while pregnant (I think the theory there is avoiding caffeine, but I don’t get a lot of caffeine and don’t worry about the small amount in chocolate).

      • Alli

        I agree with Meme and think it depends on the type of person your friend is. For me, I didn’t want people to know about my early miscarriage, and the one friend who knew about my pregnancy knew that I didn’t want to dwell on it or have concrete reminders. She just kept being a good friend, seeing if I wanted to go to dinner, as usual. If your friend was 11 weeks and not a lot of people knew, she is probably in the “let’s not make this a huge deal” camp.

        Conversely, I have a friend who announced her pregnancy to the whole universe at 6 weeks and kept parroting about how “I know it’s early but I will want everyone’s SUPPORT if something HAPPENS!!!!” (side note, she said this to me at least five times, having no idea I had just gone through it… we may actually not be that good of friends now that I think about this, ha). But maybe that type of person really would want to actively mourn and would appreciate flowers or a card. Again, it sounds like your friend would like a more minimal approach, but I think she would appreciate the thought behind any small effort to check on her and say you’re thinking of her.

    • Ebro fin

      You tell her that you are sorry for her loss, and that you are sorry that you and the world won’t get to meet her baby. You tell her that you will think of her, and her baby, often. And you watch her reaction to see if she wants anything more. For me, the most important part is to recognize what they’ve lost–a child, with no caveats about born versus unborn.

    • Josie Pye

      A little late to this convo, but I just miscarried about 3 weeks ago and wanted to chime in…I would not have wanted a plant/flowers/a gift because every time I looked at them I would have remembered why they were there. Everyone is different, but I probably would have appreciated the sentiment and then thrown or given the gift away. The best things anyone did were send us a card that just said “Hang in there!” or send me a text to say “I’m thinking about you.” Something to convey that you’re emotionally there for her, but not bringing up specifically why you are thinking of her, and thus preventing her from bursting into tears at an inopportune moment when she picks up her phone. Someone bringing us dinner the night of the D&C (just Thai takeout, nothing fancy was necessary) was also really helpful, along with an extra-tight hug when she came into our house and no mention of it at all.

  4. S. Africa Safari

    Has anyone been on an African safari and have advice about what clothing will be most comfortable. I’m going on two safaris in South Africa in September — one low land, one high country. As I understand it, there won’t be hiking around; just riding in the Jeep and briefly getting out (so, hiking boots/protective leg wear not necessary). Temps in the high 70s/low 80s during the day; Low 60s/50s at night. Online information is very conflicting about what’s most comfortable, so I’d love to hear from someone with experience.

    I’m thinking running shorts, work out t-shirts, and a hat, plus long sleeve shirts/jackets for layering. But I was worried that I might want my legs more covered.

    • Sue

      I have been to South Africa and did safaris. Unless this is a different kind of park, you are expected to stay in the vehicle and watch the animals from there. You will notice that the parks will even have signs stating that you shouldn’t leave your vehicle. Wear whatever you feel most comfortable in. Good fabrics are cotton and certain polyester blends. Avoid stuff that can make you feel hot in warm weather or fabrics that tend to feel cold when it’s chilly. You should also bring something warm for the evenings, sweatshirts/hoodies etc. A hat is also a great idea. For shoes, sneakers would be fine. Or good walking shoes. I was in jeans most of the time but that was in June/July which is also “winter” and temperatures are cooler.
      Also if the area where you are going is known to have mosquitoes, then long sleeves and maybe some bugspray. Finally don’t forget a good camera. I see alot of people with DSLR or something with a long lens. If those are not options, get a good point and shoot that has a good zoom. Sometimes the animals are far away and you still want to take photos.

    • Sarabeth

      Late to this, but: ideal would be quick dry pants and a long sleeve, lightweight (ideally woven, not jersey) top. Days can be pretty hot and sun can be strong enough to want a layer over your skin. Do bring warm layers for evening, many lodges will be serving dinner outside. Long pants also helps with mosquito protection.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions