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Updated: Nov 27, 2023 106 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Wool-Flannel Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Gucci wool flannel blazer

I feel like an '80s movie right now: ohhhhh yeaaaah.

This blue green wool flannel is so, so pretty up close, and I love the leather buttons, including how many of them there are on the cuffs.

(And: styled with flared pants, be still my heart!)

It's $1,890 at Net-a-Porter. GUCCI Wool-flannel blazer

Psst: some of our latest favorite splurgey blazers:

Hunting for a luxe statement blazer? 2024 favorites include Smythe, include McQueen, L'Agence, Veronica Beard, The Fold, Armani, and Anine Bing.

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

(L-all)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. M

    I live in a suburb and have always worked in nearby suburbs and am about to start a job where I will commute by train into a major city and do a lot of walking to my office. Any tips from you city commuters on must-haves to keep at the office, commuter shoe recs, tips on packing lunch, etc.? I’m a little nervous.

    • anonymous

      Don’t commute in your work shoes…. otherwise I don’t think there’s that much to prepare for. congrats on your new job!

      • Cb

        Office must-haves:
        – I go to yoga after work a 1x-2x a week, so I bring in 6-7 pairs of clothes at once. They live under my desk and it makes it easy to sneak in a class if evening plans fall through.
        – I commute in Converse or boots to spare my shoes – it’s always nice to have an emergency pair in case of transport issues.
        – I buy a bunch of bananas and apples at the beginning of the week so I don’t need to bring them in everyday.
        – Glass tupperware is heavier but much less likely to leak.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love pricey Monday’s and this blazer. But so much money, Kat1 I need a rich husband first b/f I can buy something like this! I did NOT find such a man up in the wood’s upstate, either. FOOEY! The men there all wore smelley pant’s with 1000 pocket’s and dirty tee shirt’s with the name’s of gross lookeing band’s. And they all wanted me to go back to their shack’s (smelley mustey littel houses near the lake. FOOEY on that also!

      Myrna’s freind had a place with air condition, so I stayed on a couch there. She wanted me to expereince the local men, but NO THANK YOU! Even Sheketovits would have been an improvement. The men there told me specificelly they were NOT circumscribed either. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    • Cat

      I keep all my office shoes at the office in a file cabinet drawer. I used to carry my pair of choice back and forth each day, but tired of hauling them around, and since I rarely wear heels off duty, I don’t miss them at home. I commute in Sperrys, snow/rain boots, or nice flip flops (Rainbows) and change immediately. If you wear a lot of pants + heels outfits, you’ll need to figure out what you like best for pinning or clipping up your pants hems to avoid dragging them on the sidewalk – I’m partial to safety pins.

      Figure out what you can do on the train to make the most of your commuting time. For some, that’s bringing hard copies of documents to read/mark up. For others, it’s responding to non-complicated emails that nevertheless need answering. It can also be a great way to squeeze non-work reading into your day!

      What do you keep in your car now that you worry you’d miss? I don’t think there’s anything I keep in my office, other than the shoes perhaps, that I wouldn’t keep around in a suburban office.

      • Wildkitten

        Podcasts or books on tape are also good for the commute, especially if you get train-sick looking at documents.

        • LilyS

          Also for if you’re packed in too tightly to read/ are standing up and need one hand to hold on.

    • NYNY

      Think about anything you may keep stashed in your care for emergency use, and stash that at the office. This could include grooming products, snacks, clothes – really anything.

      Also, unless you’re in a dry area, keep a spare umbrella at the office. A walking/public transit commute can be rough on umbrellas, so if yours is killed on the way to work, you have another for the trip home.

    • Shopaholic

      I also keep spare makeup at the office and an umbrella. Plus yes lots of shoes…

    • Anonymous

      Give yourself time. Transitioning is hard, so I’d plan to do it gradually- buy your lunches for the first few weeks, commute in whatever shoes you wear to walk around in on weekends (are sneakers kinda ugly? Sure. Are you competing in a commuter train beauty pageant? Nope)

      You can add things as you get used to it.

    • AR

      Wireless, bluetooth headphones are pretty freaking awesome. I just got them for my commute and not dealing with the tangled mess of headphones for walking has been amazing.

      For work, I always keep a spare dress around. One that I don’t especially care about and that does not wrinkle easily. That way if I do something silly, but still need to go to meetings then I have something to put on.

      Also, I keep a nice water bottle at work that is easy to clean. No need to commute and carry the weight of a water with you.

      • M

        Thank you, guys! These are all wonderful suggestions. The umbrella is definitely a good one to think of–especially since I live in an area where whether changes pretty dramatically some days. The water bottle tip is also really good. I can see that being a huge space (and weight) saver.

        Thank you!

        • Chicago Bean Accounter

          ~Commute in comfortable shoes (running shoes, walking shoes… just make sure they have support)
          ~Keep basic work shoes at the office (I have a black pair and a brown pair), and when they wear out, order online and have them shipped right to the office
          ~Keep an umbrella in your workbag, and a spare at your desk (I accidentally left many an umbrella on the metra to Chicago in the am and was lacking one for the pm)
          ~If you wear athletic shoes to commute, keep a pair of clean, dry socks at your desk for those super rainy mornings when your feet just get soaked – I have never had socks fully dry before I had to put them back on to go home
          ~Train entertainment (kindle, magazines, books, headphones for podcasts/pandora)

          The most important thing in my opinion is to be honest with yourself about what you actually need to carry with you on your commute (vs what you can store at the office). The more you add to your bag, the heavier it is and the harder it is to schlepp it to the office from the train. I luckily do not have to commute with a laptop, so I carry my wallet, a folder with any papers to handle, headphones, sunglasses, an umbrella, and my lunch/snacks.

          • M

            Thank you! I’m actually taking the Metra in to Union Station–perhaps we’ll be seat mates. :)

          • Carrie...

            Metra is a nice ride. Soon you will be happy to have a leisurely commute rather than dealing with driving traffic.

  2. Question about Airbnb

    Does anyone know whether an Airbnb reservation counts as “proof of accommodation” for a Schengen visa application? I’m planning a trip to Europe from the U.S., but helping my cousin (who lives in Russia) to apply for a Schengen visa. I was hoping to book us an Airbnb, but I realized that I’m not sure whether that will be seen as legitimate. I emailed the embassy, but haven’t heard back yet (and I trust thissite more than Yahoo answers!). TIA!

  3. anonymous

    I’m trying to curb my desire to shop, and I find that I spend a lot of time perusing shopping sites as a means of relaxing/taking a break from work. So now I’m looking for ideas about what kinds of ways to decompress/take a quick break instead of shopping. It has to be something fairly mindless (so not reading about anything meaningful)

    • Wildkitten

      YMMV etc. I like Apartment Therapy. It’s the same as shopping in that you are looking at pretty things, but there is no buy-now-with-one-click option for well decorated homes.

    • anonk

      I just quit but I was playing the Kardashian App on my iPad since October. It’s kind of like playing Barbie Dolls or something — you get to acquire new things and dress your little avatar up. Just don’t spend money on it!

    • Anon

      I read blogs – a mixture of food, fitness, and lifestyle, but you can find ones that fit whatever your interests are.

      • anonymous OP

        I think that’s generally a good idea, but I think what brings on the interest in shopping is just wanting to space out a little bit and not focus on anything in particular. It’s just something mindless that’s convenient to do when I need a few minutes. Meditating/trying to figure out my feelings takes too much effort for these moments in particular

    • a naan

      When I’m feeling stressed, I love going to the library and checking out a bunch of books and DVDs–really anything that catches my interest at the time. For me, this fills the same need as mindless shopping, only I don’t have to pay anything (as long as I stay on top of due dates). Even going online and putting books on hold makes me excited because I have something to look forward to when the books arrive!

    • KinCA

      When I’m trying not to shop, I bookmark cooking and baking blogs (I like How Sweet Eats, Averie Cooks, Crazy for Crust, and The Kitchn).. I also check out Conde Nast Traveler or the Travel & Leisure websites to indulge in a little mental wanderlust, though it can sometimes be depressing if I don’t have a vacation or trip on the horizon. :)

  4. Cb

    I’ve been asked to take on a temporary job but because of university rules, I have to interview for it (with line manager and head of department). I’m thinking pencil skirt and nice blouse hits a nice balance of recognizing that this is a formality but also showing respect for the participants / process.

    Thoughts? For context, I’m in academia where suits and jackets are a rarity. Right now, most of my colleagues are in sandals and capris.

    • Wildkitten

      Your outfit sounds perfect. You could also do colorful suiting separates.

  5. Site ate my comment

    I spent time typing out a question and after clicking “post comment”, it completely disappeared (this was an hour ago in Chrome). When are these issues going to be resolved?

    • Kat G

      Was your Q about Airbnb? It’s posted… Re: kicking you to the App Store — is there an ad showing for an app or something? Is it directing you to one particular app? Are you clicking/hovering anywhere? (Sorry, just trying to get more information so I can investigate further!) I know there were older versions of iPhone’s browser that were doing this but last I heard that was months ago.

      Thank you for your patience. New tech person starting soon who hopefully can help us resolve these issues.

      • Anonymous

        Not the OP but I have had the App Store problem for several weeks at least when I browse on my phone. It is pretty annoying. No clicking or hovering, just reading. Usually I quit out before seeing which app they’re directing me to, but it does vary and I know it was Game of War at least once.

      • Caesia

        I have this problem all the time on my phone. Happened on iPhone 5 and 6. Specifically, I would start on the homepage, click into a specific post, then immediately (before the page loads) it sends me to the App Store. Always for Lyft. If I close out and try to go back to Safari, sometimes it happens repeatedly as the page reloads, sometimes not.

    • Anonny

      Majority of my comments get eaten for a couple hours – use to be for 6-8 hours, but has recently been down to 1-2.

    • Cat

      FWIW, I see that you used the word “s!te” (with an I) in both your original comment and the title of this post. That word sends you straight to mod-land.

  6. Hard sided suitcase

    Recommendations for a hard-sided suitcase that fits into the overhead bin? I’m looking for a new one for work travel.

    • Cb

      I’ve had the Brookstone Dash since 2008 and it is still going strong despite 40+ flights and being used in several moves.

    • Veronica Mars

      I got a little Ricardo Beverly Hills hard sided suitcase from Costco and I’m really happy with it.

  7. anon

    My grandparents are falling apart, and it seems impossible to help them. They’re in their late 80s and still live on their own in a single-family home, but they need to move into assisted living. One is immobile and the other is very, very frail. My grandmother has early onset Alzheimer’s, but my grandfather’s reasoning and memory is actually much worse!

    My mom is already doing almost everything for them — cooking meals, cleaning as much as she can (without embarrassing them), driving them to doctor’s appointments. They live 90 minutes away from my parents, so it’s not an easy trip.

    Their doctor has told them they need to move, but they either ignore it or outright deny that she said it.

    To make matters worse, my mom’s sister is sticking her head in the sand about the situation. Every time my mom tries to set up an action plan with her for next steps with my grandparents, she (the sister) says she is busy, ignores my mom’s calls, etc.

    My mom and dad can’t do this without her sister’s support. It’s horrible to watch. My grandparents’ welfare is at stake, but my parents will need access to my grandparents’ finances to be able to pay for an assisted living place, and how can they do that when a) my grandparents don’t seem to think they need assisted living and b) they don’t have the cooperation of my aunt?

    I feel totally helpless and don’t know how to support my mom in all this. If anyone has advice, I’d love to hear it. Otherwise, I guess I just needed to vent.

    • anon a mouse

      Gerontologist / elderly social worker. You need a neutral third party to both assess their conditions (it may be worse than you realize) and to help your family navigate this.

    • Gigi

      I am sorry, anon, that is a difficult situation to be in.
      I have two suggestions:
      1. Maybe look into a life care planning attorney (an elder care attorney with care coordinator on staff who takes a senior-centered approach and puts a family-professional team into place that does regular check ins), or if that is too grand a scale, perhaps 2) bringing in a geriatric care manager, to have an outside professional come into your grandparent’s home (pref when your mom and aunt are available -or maybe aunt on phone) to evaluate whether or not they can safely live in the home. Maybe an outside voice will help your aunt see the situation for what it is?
      Also–it sounds like your grandparents need health care and financial documents in place so that others can manage decisions for them if they can no longer handle decisions.

    • bridget

      Get your mom and grandparents to an estate planning attorney. The attorney should be a member of NAELA (National Association of Elder Law Attorneys). Determine what estate plan your grandparents have and what parts of it are still valid. (Usually, DPOAs and health care proxies need to be relatively up-to-date, i.e. signed within the last five or ten years.) Figure out what you need to have in place.

      Invite your aunt to these meetings. If she goes, she goes; if not, your mom can discuss the results with her. (Email can be your friend here. It’s hard to complain after your grandparents have passed that she was cut out of this process when there’s a paper trail a mile long, and yes, these situations bring out the worst in people.)

      • Brunette Elle Woods

        Everything Bridget said! You need to get them to an attorney because you need to have the legal authority to access their bank accounts to pay for their care. If they are resisting help or resisting moving either closer to your mom or to an assisted living facility, they will only hurt themselves. It sounds like your grandparents are a fall risk and hopefully they are not driving! Your aunt’s behavior is actually understandable, although immature. I’m sure she doesn’t want to acknowledge that her parents are at this stage of their lives and it is probably very difficult for her. Try to get her to discuss it with you and your mom and definitely use e-mail if face to face or telephone conversations don’t work. Also, start looking at assisted living facilities and nursing homes now so you know what options are available. They may need it sooner than you think.

    • Anonymous

      Can a third party come in to do an assessment? Your grandparents might be more amenable to the same advice from a neutral party. Look up “elder care planning”. Don’t count on your aunt’s support in any way. If you get it, it can be a nice bonus. Also, won’t make it easier but these dynamics with your gparents, parents, and aunt are really, really common. This is why caregiving is very, very high on the list of personal stressors (higher than a family death, I believe), especially since it can be a long-term and tenuous situation.

    • jumpingjack

      I second the recommendation for a Geriatric Care Manager. I found one through their association website (http://www.aginglifecare.org), and she was a lifesaver for managing care. I interviewed a few before I picked one.

      The care manager will be able to direct you to other resources in the area (and tell you which assisted living places and good and which aren’t). They could also help formulate a plan for your grandparents to stay in their home for as long as possible, with outside assistance (other than your mother) coming in. There are home care aides who can come for anywhere from a few hours a day to 24 hours, volunteers to who by for social visits, volunteers to drive them to the grocery store, doctor’s appointments, etc, cleaning, meal deliveries, all sorts of stuff. A care manager will also recommend home modifications and safety devices to make their lives easier. You could also call the local Council on Aging for references.

      Finally, read Atul Gawande’s latest book, Being Mortal, it’s amazing.

      • Anonymous

        I’ve heard great reviews of Being Mortal. On a lighter note, I just read Roz Chaz’s (sp?) funny and insightful memoir (in cartoon format) about caring for her elderly parents — “Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant”. Highly recommended for anyone dealing with these issues.

        • CountC

          I was going to suggest Being Mortal as soon as I saw the topic of this post. HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend for everyone with parents or family members they still talk to/care about!

      • Anonymous

        Worth noting that any such at-home paid care will likely be expensive and out-of-pocket for someone (your g-parents, your parents, etc.), unless (and even if) your grandparents made provisions for long term care. For instance, at-home 24 hour per day care that is non-nursing in nature from an agency – like a personal care aide to help with food, dressing, etc. – runs >$100k per year in my area. For more sporadic help, there are 2-4 hour minimums so minimum $60-110 per visit and then $20-24 per hour. Nurse visits are $80-100 per hour. Nursing homes may not be much more expensive and provide more care.

        • jumpingjack

          You’re right that in home care is extremely expensive. My family is very lucky that my parents had bought long term care insurance. (PSA – Buy long term care insurance!!) But if you can afford it or if the cost is close to comparable to a nursing home, I’d do everything possible help them stay in their home. Moving to a nursing home is often a very disruptive, unhappy, and demoralizing experience for older people; this should be weighed against the care it provides. (Gawande talks a lot about this in his book.)

          • Anonymous

            Yep, and plan for a gap – many LTC policies only pay for 1-2 years and have a period where they don’t pay (90 days at first, I believe).

          • Anon

            Moving is tough, but so is staying home. Some people need and crave social outlets, and home can become VERY isolating. It’s a very individual thing, so try to figure out what they need (not what they say they want), and then gradually persuade them in that direction. If you don’t get powers of attorney in place soon, you may be looking at a court proceeding in order to get the authority to have a say in their care or spend their money, so that is priority No. 1!

  8. Anon S

    Hi ladies – recommendations for a comfortable pair of house slippers that can also be cleaned in the washing machine? TIA!

    • Annie

      I have a pair of Acorn Fleece Slippers with rubber bottoms. I haven’t tried washing them yet, but when I bought them, they were advertised as machine washable.

    • Kelly Andthenblog

      Some of the knockoff Toms. I’ve been wearing the Esprit version of Toms (a crocheted pair) for my “summer slippers” and they are perfect, and washable!

  9. Rental Life

    I’ve been scouring the blogs lately to try to update my apartment from post-college to a more adult look. However, many of the “rental decorating” posts I see involve hanging things: shelves, curtain rods, huge pieces of artwork, fake wallpaper etc. I live in NYC and every part of me is screaming “you’re going to lose your deposit!” I’ve done what I can with those sticky removable hooks, but are people really putting this many holes in their rented walls? Have you done this without losing your deposit? Am I just being overly cautious?

    • Bonnie

      I’d skip the wallpaper but I think it’s expected that renters hang some items. If your walls are white, you can easily fill those holes when you move.

    • Anon

      I don’t live in NYC, but I’ve put (reasonable) holes in every apt. or townhome I’ve ever rented. At least around here, as long as you properly fill them when you move out most places won’t take your deposit. Every place I’ve ever lived has repainted between tenants, so they don’t really care as long as the holes are filled. I’ve lived in two apts. and one townhome, and all have been with fairly reasonable management companies, so YMMV. I put decals on the wall of my last townhome that were supposed to come off cleanly but didn’t. We did the best we could to patch it, and they still gave us our deposit back (but that management company was really cool – I think that would be pushing it in most places). I’ve never painted or wallpapered, though. I feel like you can usually make do with whatever color the wall is, as long as it isn’t hideous.

    • CountC

      I would read your lease before you do anything and/or check with the property manager/landlord. I had always operated under the impression that normal wear-and-tear included a few holes in the walls for pictures and I allow my tenants to do that; however, the building I live in right now does not allow ANY holes. AT ALL. For POR I am in central Pennsylvania. I would double check before you do anything.

    • Anonymity

      Shelves and curtain rods are a little much for a rental. Although I have hung a shelf in a bathroom (and then brought it with me to the next apt) without getting mu deposit dinged. So I guess hang a shelf if you need it, but not in order to look grown up. Hanging pictures is expected and always makes me feel good about my rental apt. I’ve never had a deposit dinged for hanging pictures.

      • Batgirl

        I really disagree that shelves and curtain rods are too much for a rental. As someone who’s lived in rentals in NYC for 15 years, those are definitely basic things to do. If you’re in a market where renting is the norm, I don’t think either of those things are big asks.

        • Emily

          If you can’t hang curtain rods, how do you block sunlight/not flash the neighbors? if the LL doesn’t provide the proper window treatment, then renter’s curtain rods go in!

    • HSAL

      I agree with the prior commenters that filling the holes is the way to go, although I’ve lived in a few places where I didn’t fill my thumbtack/thin nail-sized holes and still got my deposit back. You may want to doublecheck your lease. One apartment I lived in specified that small holes were allowed, but not over a certain diameter.

      • anyanony

        Not for big holes but for thin nail/thumbtack holes, you can fill with white toothpaste in a pinch. I’ve never left nickel-sized holes but I think most management companies could/would charge for those as they are more complicated to patch than thin nail holes. Anything bigger in diameter than a pencil would need more than just spackle.

        • Anonymous

          Ugh, please just buy spackle. Toothpaste will attract bugs and I won’t know why it’s happening.

          Signed, a landlord

        • Anonymous

          Most places don’t require you to spackle thin pin-sized holes, because holes that size will essentially fill on their own when the wall is painted. Unless you used your wall as a pincushion, they won’t even notice a few holes along an entire wall.

          And as long as the hole is under an inch (which a nickel is), you can spackle (if you know how to do it properly, which someone who thinks it’s ok to use toothpaste may not). It’s not until the hole is >1″ that you may have to use mesh and joint compound.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I always hung pictures, and an occasional curtain rod that didn’t leave too large of a hole, but nothing more than that. Honestly, I approached a security deposit in NYC with the attitude of “if I get this back, it will be a bonus, but I don’t expect to see it again.” I’ve gotten full security deposits back, but it was when I rented from an actual person as opposed to a large company. When we rented from a large company, we got about half back, and it was a fight (NYC landlords are required to paint every 3 years–our’s hadn’t, so we were able to fight them on taking money out of the security deposit for painting–note that I don’t think this applies if you’ve painted the walls some color other than white or whatever the original color was–then you have to repaint them back to the original color).

    • Anonymous

      I’m not in NYC but my state is pretty unfriendly to tenants and I have never had a landlord try to take my deposit for holes. I hang shelves, mirrors, curtain rods, extra towel racks, etc. Some holes are nickel-sized. We fill everything when we move out.

      Frankly, it’s absurd for anyone to say curtains are not allowed in a rental–I have never seen blinds that you can’t see through even when fully closed, so unless your window faces a brick wall, people outside can see you changing if you don’t have curtains. Curtains also make it less obvious when your lights are on so people can’t watch you to get an idea of when you’re home/awake, and they make a huge difference for energy efficiency. My apartment would easily heat up to 95-100 degrees every day from the sun if I didn’t have thermal curtains.

      • Anonymous

        The edit function seems to be gone, so ETA: I also see the vast majority of units in my rental complex with wall-mounted TVs, which is pretty hole-intensive. I haven’t done this myself (largely b/c I hate the TV above the fireplace look) so I don’t know if the ones I’ve observed incurred a damage deduction, but it seems like landlords just assume everyone will do it now and don’t care what it looks like because the next person will cover it back up with their TV.

      • CountC

        My rental doesn’t specifically say that curtains aren’t allowed, and they provide blinds, but they do not allow any holes. I had to hang my black out curtains up with those peel off wall hangers. Read the lease/talk to the PM is always my suggestion. It’s the first rental I have ever encountered that doesn’t allow normal wall hanging holes, but they’re out there.

    • AIMS

      I have always made holes in my NYC rentals and I have never had an issue with my deposit (this includes adding things like paper towel holders and towel bars, and once even one of those ikea fold away tables that I left behind – all fine). A little hole from a picture hook is not a big deal. Changing light fixtures, painting a dark color, switching out shades, those you may have some issues with and should check with your LL, but you don’t need to worry about curtains, paintings, mirrors, etc.

      Also, NYC is pretty renter friendly. To take anything out of your deposit, your LL has to show proof of how much it cost to repair X; and if your LL doesn’t comply with escrow rules or return your deposit within 60 days, you’re entitled to it all back anyway.

      • Rental Life

        This is good to know. I had anticipated losing some of my deposit just because of the nature of NYC and landlords. I didn’t want to create any extra reasons if I could avoid it, but the having spent 10+ years in rental apartments, I’m getting really tired of the sad white walls.

        • New anon

          Even in apartments where the lease has specified no painting, I’ve routinely had landlords say that it really means “must be same color at move-out as at move-in” and indicate willingness to tell me what color it needs to be repainted at move-out should I wish to change it while I’m living there. Some have even said that I’d only need to prime the wall on move-out such that their repainting would require only one coat. It’s extra work for you, of course, but it’s very doable.

  10. Bonnie

    I recently gave away a jacket similar to this. I liked the jacket on its own but didn’t find it to be very versatile.

  12. Maternity Leave - Boutique Firm

    Hello all,

    I recently was offered a job at a small boutique firm — so small, in fact, that, if I were to go there, I would be the first person who would be up for maternity leave. There have been other women, but they joined after they had kids. I asked them about maternity leave, and they said it’s never come up before, but they would be happy to give me three months paid. (They recently gave their male associate three months part time for paternity). Do you all think I would need to get this in writing? And if so, how?

    Thanks!

    • Anon

      YES, get it in writing. It should be in your offer letter with your benefit information and also in your employment agreement.

  13. Work outing - outfit poll

    What would you wear to a weekday work sporting/socializing outing (think bowling, Topgolf, etc – in other words, activity but not actually playing tennis matches or a round of golf or the like). Outdoors, hot.

    • Anonymous

      Depends on who else was going. If this was a summer associate event for a law firm, and there were either no partners going or the partners were the more laid back types, I would wear maybe a cotton maxi dress with sandals. Or ankle pants with a nice T and either flats or sandals. Maybe even nicer bermuda shorts.

    • Stormtrooper

      I regularly have outdoor work inspections where the heat index tops 100. I tend to wear a dryfit collared shirt (not this, but similar: http://www.amazon.com/Nike-354067-Womens-Dri-FIT-Micro/dp/B005HFDXLG) with khaki pants or capris, depending on what I’m doing. I’ve tried linen pants/capris, but they just don’t seem to hold up to all the climbing/moving I have to do. My hair is up, otherwise it would be so big in the humidity, nobody could get close enough to talk to me.

      I also bring deodorant with me and a change of socks. I also bring a shirt to change into once I’m able to get out of the blazing hot.

  14. Anon Boston

    I am looking for a fitness video I could do 2-3 times a week that is focused on lifting/toning . I run 3-4 times a week so this would be in addition to that. Anyone have any favorite videos? TIA!

    • Veronica Mars

      I like the Tone It Up girls on Youtube. They have a ton of different videos and if you subscribe to their email list, they send you your “schedule” for the week (which is a mix of cardio, toning and yoga). Blogilates is also good but I think Tone It Up has better videography and I LOVE their sunrise bikini yoga video–it’s nice to watch the ocean for my morning yoga.

    • Anonny

      Melissa Bender – she’s amazing, and a ton of videos. Very simple an all at-home stuff! Google her name and you’ll find her blog. New workouts daily (follower her on Insta or Twitter for supplemental stuff). She also has an extensive library, 30-day challenges, etc.

    • roses

      My absolute favorite is Jillian Michaels’ No More Trouble Zones. But there are also great ones on Fitness Blender and the BeFit YouTube channel. FYI a lot of popular videos (like Jillian’s 30 day shred and T25) combine weights/toning exercises with High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT), which provides an amazing workout but is also pretty taxing on your body. I’d probably make sure you are running no more than 3x per week if you add in HIIT to the mix to give your body time to recover.

      • Anon Boston

        Thank you all for the suggestions Veronic Mars, Anonny and roses!! I am going to try all of them! :)

  15. DC Happy Hour...

    I need an idea for a good place to go in the Chinatown/Penn Quarter for happy hour, for a person who is not drinking. I have a usual date with a friend a couple of times a month to have happy hour after work, and we tend to get cheap drinks and chat. Now I’m pregnant and am not drinking. So I want to find a place with affordable/cheap happy hour drinks for her, ideally options for sparkling water/juice etc. combinations for me, and a less bar-y beer-y atmosphere. But where we can grab a table and order drinks and light appetizers, not dinner.

    Ideas?

    • Lady Tetra

      China Chilcano and Rosa Mexicano both do “aguas frescas” that are pretty delicious and alcohol-free!

    • CHJ

      Have you ever been to Teaism? It might be more casual/cafe-like than what you’re looking for, but it has a great tea menu, light food (including amazing salty oat cookies), and plenty of tables. I think they serve some alcohol there too, but I’m not 100% sure.

    • roses

      Poste, especially when the weather is nice – they have a lovely outdoor area, and there are a few non-alcoholic drinks on their menu.

      • Kelly Andthenblog

        This, yes! My votes are all over the place today. The downside of Poste, though (especially if you are pregnant), is the bathroom is on the second floor, sort of far from the bar/restaurant. Just an FYI!

      • Asideralis

        I do not like Poste. I was fairly disappointed in their servers, menu, and ambiance for brunch this last Saturday.

    • Carrie M

      I’ve asked bartenders at Proof and Partisan to make mocktails in the past, and they’ve obliged – with delicious results. But they’re probably not the cheapest options depending on how many drinks your friend has.

    • DC Happy Hour...

      Thanks all! We’ll have to rotate through them all over the next months….perhaps starting with Rosa Mexicano…

      • Rosa Mexicano!!

        Yes, always start with a place where you can order tableside guacamole :) Om nom nom.

    • Asideralis

      DBGB Kitchen and Bar would work well for this. Their deserts are fabulous!

  17. anon b

    Hi ladies, long time lurker but infrequent commenter. I haven’t figured out who else I can ask about this one.

    I found out last night that a close friend miscarried. She was a bit over 10 weeks and not many people knew she was pregnant (hence the reason I’m hesitant to ask other friends for advice, I don’t want to have to explain and put her in an awkward position). I’m sad for their loss, and trying to wrap my head around it. Honestly I’m not sure what I should do or say (or maybe they want to grieve in private?).

    Any advice welcome. If anyone who’s been through such a tough personal tragedy is open to sharing, is there anything you would have wished your friends had understood or done for you when it happened?

    • AIMS

      You may want to repost this to get more responses in another thread. I think everyone handles these things differently, but I would just tell your friend that you are there for her. That if she wants to talk about it, you’re there to listen, and if she needs some time to not talk about it, you will respect that too.

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