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Tuesday’s TPS Report: Blanc Short-Sleeve Dress

Weekend Max Mara Blanc Short Sleeve Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. How many black simple dresses is too many? I once wore a different black dress every day of the week just for kicks (a big project had just ended), so clearly I have a fairly high tolerance for them. This one looks absolutely gorgeous — love the high neckline, the sleeves, and the interesting flared/pleated detail at the waist — it's like a reverse fit and flare somehow. The dress is $295 at Saks. Weekend Max Mara Blanc Short-Sleeve Dress Here's a lower-priced option, and two plus-size alternatives are here and here. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

139 Comments

  1. I have asked myself this many times… I keep telling myself to stop eyeing little black work dresses, but then another charming one pops up that’s just different enough from what I already have to tempt me!

    1. I have been working on designing a “uniform” to reduce the stress of choices on my day and I think little black work dresses might be my answer.

      1. Love this too. I have a few… Just bought one more last week. Good thing this one is out of budget.

  2. Yes, I have several black dresses and love them.

    Speaking of black, I’m in the market for some black skinny jeans. I’m a petite hourglass. Any recs?

  3. Ultimate C-r3tt3 hive question: I just got a Nordstrom card. How do I maximize it’s benefits?

    1. The biggest benefit is the $100 of alternations that are reimbursed in Nrdsm giftcards. The cash back benefit isn’t so great compared to other credit cards, tbh.

    2. Alterations and early access to sales. Many of the great deals get sold out before the sales are opened to the public.

  5. Just a rant –

    I have a nice body. I have nice b**bs. Some of it I’ve worked hard to get. Why do I have to take special pains to hide it all in the workplace? Obviously not going to show up in shorts and a tube top, but trying to hide the lines of my waist and hips? Just because some guys are animals? It sucks.

    1. Hmm. Usually it’s people with less “nice” bodies that are required to take special pains to hide themselves. Can you unpack what you are talking about here?

      1. I’m not the OP, but I’m very fit and hourglassy, so I’m always really self-conscious about clothes highlighting my curves, which they always do unless I’m wearing something boxy and unflattering.

        2. This. I’m fit and hourglassy and young looking, so I get self-conscious when I wear a sheath dress that shows the curve of my b**bs/waist/hips, even if it’s not super tight. I just feel like people can “see” my body and don’t want people to think that I’m trying to wear body-con clothes at work.

          2. Why the h*ll do you need to be so rude? WTF did I ever do to you?

            Why do you think it’s so unreasonable for a young woman in a work place to feel self conscious about how she looks in her clothing, especially when we are constantly reminded to make sure our clothes are “work appropriate” and sexual harassment is a constant? Gee, if I hear one more a**hole say that she looked like she was “inviting it”….

          3. Sheesh. There’s such a difference between being harassed for being pretty (absolutely it happens and it’s problematic) and thinking you’re so stunning you need to wear a paper bag or feel self-conscious. You’re not. You don’t need to. Wear a sheath dress. Wear a pencil skirt. What I’m saying is you are fine!

          4. So…..I’d like to point out that feeling self-conscious is about the person herself. As a person who fits this physical description, when I feel self-conscious, I am in no way assuming that everyone is looking. In fact, I’m pretty sure they aren’t. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel weird about curves being all… curvy.

            To take a slightly less controversial example, I’ve always struggled with acne. I don’t really think anyone else notices or cares, but it makes me feel weird. That is the point.

          5. Anonymous at 10:23- So clearly you have some reading comprehension problems in addition to an attitude problem.

            I said that I felt self-conscious because I didn’t want anyone to think that I was dressing with the intent to show off my body– because of the way that women are treated in the work place. You’re attributing really poor motives (where did I ever state that I felt that I was so stunning I needed to wear a bag?) to me and it’s seriously messed up. Maybe don’t troll a website just to tear people down? What is the matter with you?

          6. We do not leave our gender at our office door. If you hate your womanly shape at the office, that’s a you problem. For the sake of future women at the office, please try to get over that. Women choose to work for personal fulfillment and monetary satisfaction. Trying to become gender-neutral at the office helps nobody, not the pigdog droolers nor the good guys nor the young women just starting careers, and definitely not the older women who have broken the path you walk today.

            The solution to s*xual harassment is not women wearing burkhas or staying home all the time. The solution is to raise better men.

          7. Moss, I agree with your position on this 100%, and I certainly hope that wasn’t a reply to my comment- because it doesn’t address anything I said.

            No where in my comment did I state or even imply that women should be required to change their work wear because of men’s poor behavior or that women should attempt to become gender neutral. No where did I say I “hate my womanly shape.” Nor did I say that women should wear burkhas all the time. I mentioned- to try to empathize with OP- that I am self-conscious sometimes and you say try to imply that I’m *harming* future women in the workplace? For. F***’s. Sake. Can any of you read?

          8. Hi Anon, because of the way the comments are threaded, it’s hard to tell but I’m pretty much replying to the OP except for this part

            I didn’t want anyone to think that I was dressing with the intent to show off my body– because of the way that women are treated in the work place

            So part of my comment was addressing this. If you’re meeting professional standards (no clubwear etc) at the office, then nobody will think that your sheath dress is trying to show off your body. And, again, the way to prevent s*xual harassment is not to change how you dress. It’s to change the culture where men think it’s okay and women feel powerless to stop it.

            So I am in fact addressing your comment and nobody needs to FFS me or question my ability to read. I do question your judgment and I hope it’s because you are young and don’t have much experience with being a professional person earning a paycheck.

          9. Moss- “then nobody will think that your sheath dress is trying to show off your body”

            But how do you know this? Are you in everyone’s mind? No. I have personal experiences that tell me otherwise. Plus, we had that letter writer a few weeks ago who accused a younger colleague of showing off her body. While I’m sure most people wouldn’t think that way, it’s not unreasonable to have it cross your mind.

            “And, again, the way to prevent s*xual harassment is not to change how you dress”

            No kidding. No one is disagreeing with you here.

            You have no reason to question my judgment or how long I’ve been a professional person earning a paycheck. The implications you made in your comment were totally out of line and you’ve just followed up with more ad homs. Pretty sad.

          10. Unfortunately, the people who notice, care, and do think that are: (1) the inappropriate men and (2) the woman from the other week who was considering excluding the pretty woman from her networking group. I agree that changing the culture is what’s needed, but it’s kind of funny that you think one woman in an office can do that. I wish that culture was easily changeable, but it’s not. I have not had any luck trying to do it in the offices I’ve worked in where it’s been prevalent. But you know what does make my life easier and in those offices? Wearing clothes that are a little bigger than they need to be, wearing my hair pinned back, etc. Yes, it’s not the “right” answer, but it’s the easiest short term fix and if you want to blast me for that go right ahead. At least now I don’t have to hear the idiotic comments from the idiot men (and sometimes women).

        3. I bought an amazing sheath dress but will not be able to wear it to work as it is too vavavoom

    2. Wait though, you definitely don’t? At all? Like, wear a dress in a size that fits you without being skin tight or showing cleavage, just like those of us who are size 14 do. Put on a pencil skirt and a blouse and go. What work appropriate clothes are causing such drama?

      1. There’s a significant enough difference between my b****ts and waist that most shirts highlight it, curves show up in most dresses

        1. Right, and? It’s acceptable to have curves at work. If the issue is you feeling self-conscious, you don’t need to. If the issue is men behaving inappropriately, tell them to stop and complain to HR.

          2. Honestly, I’d stop thinking about how fabulous your boobs are and your body and how much work you put into it. The rest of us really don’t care. I promise. The same way I don’t feel self-conscious about showing the curves of my fat, because if I’m wearing clothes that fit and are appropriate I’m good enough for work. This isn’t a fit people problem, it’s an adult-ing problem.

          3. Yeah. Having a visibly female body shape at work is fine, and I feel sick about the fact that this is even a question. I can’t think of a reason to go to that much effort to disguise it in a normal office. I mean, I am an adult woman. I have breasts, hips, and a butt. What am I supposed to do, bind my chest and week a burlap sack? Along with a paper bag to hide my feminine facial features?

            In conclusion, if your male coworkers are animals, that is a problem with your male coworkers (and their supervisors/HR/whoever lets a toxic-to-women culture percolate), not with you, your body, or your clothing.

        2. Ok but no one says you have to hide your curves. Channel Winona from justified. Sure you dont want something skin tight, but no one no matter what size or shape should be wearing just spandex to work. If you are in shape you get such a great benefit- so many more clothes look good on you.

          Of course you dont have to wear sacks to work. Watch some legal shows (the good wife comes to mind) those are all fit women, wearing flattering clothes, looking professional (for the most part).

      2. Geeze anonymous, sounds like maybe you need to go to the gym and work out some of that anger you’re feeling toward thinner women. Don’t take out your issues on everyone else.

        1. Nope. I’m totally fine. Pretty sure the people who can’t figure out how to dress their incredibly attractive bodies for work are the ones who need to relax. Hot women- you’re doing just fine.

          2. Exactly annoyed…what the h*** happened to this s!te..that people like OP are posting the questions which are laughable at best.

          3. Not really seeing why it’s laughable? Is it the best phrasing of a question I’ve ever seen? No. But it certainly seems like a lot of people are super upset that some women are happy with their bodies, or have issues other than just “needing a plus sized option”…. which is depressing.

          4. People on this s!te are so nasty to anyone who acknowledges being attractive and receiving unwanted attention for it.

          5. Oh..It is your assumption that people are super upset that some women are happy with their bodies. It is OP thinking too much about her oh…so..beautiful curves which may attract the attention of her male colleagues and clients which may provoke them to act like animals. Buuuuuttttt…she doesn’t have a single instance to show that something like that has happened and that is what is bringing out these reactions.

          6. But she isn’t receiving any negative attention for it (she said). She just said she feels like she has to wear a bag. And people here are saying no that’s not the case- just wear work appropriate stuff. It seems like annoyed and the anon defending the OP are the ones going into hysterics

          7. ^ Exactly my point, so thanks for that. And many other commenters, unlike you and Anon at 10:22, have pointed out in a respectful, supportive, non-nasty manner that OP may simply be too self conscious.

          8. How in the world was what I said nasty? I suggested looking at legal shows for fashion inspiration. I didn’t even say she was too self conscious, I just said that she was fine wearing any work appropriate clothes. Not too get overly cute, but your actually proving my point by calling me nasty. Nothing I am saying is mean or critical.

          9. Sorry, I was responding the comment before yours, cc. There was a time delay in my post. Having said that, I don’t think it is fair to describe annoyed and anon-defending-OP as “going into hysterics.” That is over the top.

    3. Is anyone doing anything to make you uncomfortable? Is there any specific instance where you are treated differently? If yes, go to HR. If no, stop thinking about it. There’s nothing you can do about your body unless you get plastic surgery so try to ignore it. If co-workers are being inappropriate, do something about it.

      2. No, I’m not being mistreated. I just keep reading and hearing about how women (especially young women) should dress appropriately, so I question myself.

        1. I have curves. I have boobs. I can’t hide those things. As others have said, dressing appropriately for work doesn’t mean hiding your shape. What it does mean is wearing things that fit you well. I wear wrap dresses with a camisole underneath to cover my cleavage (which isn’t appropriate in the workplace), but don’t sweat that I have an hourglass figure (which is appropriate for the workplace). I think you might be misinterpreting the guidelines.

        2. I agree with mascot. It is a good idea to be mindful of these things. Perhaps don’t wear something too tight, short, low cut, etc. But these are the basic guidelines for any professional woman. I think you are just overthinking it. If it bothers you try light scarves and if you wear button down shirts, wear a camp underneath in case there are any gaps. The most important thing to remember as you advance in your career is to let your work speak for itself. Don’t get distracted or feel you need to hide because of your appearance. Keep doing excellent work and don’t let others make you feel insecure.

        3. Are you the first woman professional in your family? First to go to college or work in an office? Or is this your first job where you weren’t wearing a uniform?

        4. Oh boy. Okay, it’s important that we recognize that women aren’t always treated as equals in the workplace and that s*xual harassment still happens. But I don’t think we do anyone, women especially, a service if the message that comes across is that women are under attack all the time. My experience is that the overwhelming majority of men respect women, are totally fine with them as colleagues, have no trouble keeping their hands to themselves when at work, and generally just see us all as people working together doing stuff. If you’re attractive and you’re wearing a flattering dress, sure the straight guys will see that it looks good on you. Don’t you notice when the cute guy at the office wears a polo shirt that happens to show off his upper body? (I can’t be the only one who appreciates polo season.) But that’s a far cry from harassment. Or inviting harassment. Or any of this. I think maybe you’ve gotten too much of the wrong message.

        5. Right but dressing appropriately does not require you to camoflauge your body. Don’t start wearing spandex to work but it is ok for people to see that you do have curves.

    4. How interesting that I should stumble back here today (happy Ramadan y’all – stay strong!). As a curvy Muslim woman who wears hijab and sometimes ankle length dresses that are supposedly shapeless, let me tell you that my boobs and booty are still very apparent. I think I can win at dressing the most modestly out of everyone on here – there really is no way to completely hide your body. Coming from someone who only shows her hands and face at work, you are way over-thinking this.

    5. First of all, I think you’re luck to have such a nice body. I’m jealous! I don’t have such a nice body but I can get by with clothes that can cover me. This doesn’t mean that I think you’re into yourselves or are immature. I think you have a legitimate concern and I guess my only suggestion is to wear clothes that make you feel beautiful but modest at the same time. Are there things that you like wearing but aren’t as form fitting? Not every article of clothing is form fitting. Your entire clothes isn’t made up of crop tops and body con dresses right? Loose fitting skirt or dress might work. Have you tried to go up a size? Going up a size usually takes away the effect of whatever the clothes was meant to do. For example, a pencil skirt in your size might be too curve-showing for the office but if you go up a size, it will still look nice but not show as much curves.

    6. OP, let me give you a little advice since you’ve said you’re a relatively young woman in the workplace. If you’re dressed appropriately (your fabulous body parts are covered) no one cares. What they will care about is your attitude. Instead of worrying about your body’s perception while no one, other than yourself is making you feel uncomfortable, consider spending more time about how you as an EMPLOYEE are perceived. Is your work good? Are you open to being taught? Can you take criticism? Because judging by your post and subsequent responses it seems as though you’re in your own bubble. And that will kill your career faster then your sheath dress.

    7. If you are still reading, I have big b00bs too and my solution is scarves. I totally get feeling self-conscious because they are there and we know society is a fan but we would rather not showcase them at work. If I feel like my dress is too “Joan” like, I throw on a scarf that covers them up some. I also buy my suit jackets a size or two larger to give a bit more room in the chest even if that makes them bigger in the waist.

      1. Yes, +1 for scarves for this purpose. I have some with pretty designs and often get compliments on them, which is always nice too!

  6. What are your secret tips for making your morning routine more efficient? I already make my lunch/prep breakfast/pack my bag the night before, and pick out my clothes the night before, but it still takes me an hour to get ready.

    I wake up around 6:30, and I shower, get dressed and eat breakfast, and it somehow takes an hour, which is ridiculous, because if I’m going out with friends, I can be ready in 20 minutes.

      1. That’s pretty much exactly what I do. Shower in the evening, eat either at work or during the commute. It really helps cut the mornings down to the minimum.

    2. I have check in times. I must be out of the shower in 10 minutes. I can only spend 5 minutes on makeup. Breakfast gets another 10. Etc.

    3. Pick out my outfits for the week on Sunday night. Put my clothes in the bathroom the night before. All I have to do in the morning is roll into the bathroom. It seems silly, but picking out clothes and taking them into the bathroom seems to add 15-20 minutes to my morning.

    4. I don’t let my DH get out of bed until I leave. He works from home, so if he starts talking to me in my time between waking up and leaving for work, I’m sunk.

    5. I accepted that I’d have to wake up earlier. Unless there’s an emergency, I will never be someone who can get from my bed to my desk chair in an hour.

    6. What are you doing for that hour? Time yourself and write everything down. Why does it take you so long to do those three things? I realized that my problem in the AM is breakfast – not eating it or making it, but what I do while I eat it, which is sit at the computer and web surf. Inevitably, I’m done with my toast and then I think, “just five more minutes to finish my coffee” and then next thing you know it’s been 20 min. On mornings I have to be on time, I take my breakfast in front of the TV (no online!) or bring it to work and have at my desk. Figure out what takes up all your time.

      1. This is so curious to me! Are many people actively sitting down and having leisurely breakfasts? Mine are always to go and take <5 min.

        1. Yes. I sit in front of my computer for breakfast and get distracted with the New York Times. It’s my biggest time suck while getting ready.

          1. I agree that it can – but that’s probably what is stretching you from 20+ min to almost an hour. Add a few more minutes in the shower than you think you are, and it’s game over, now you are at an hour.

            If you accidentally slept through your alarm and had to be out the door in 15-20 minutes for work, could you do it? If so, then you are just taking your time to not rush in the morning, and unless it’s starting to significantly cut into your day otherwise (not enough down time at the end of the day) I wouldn’t sweat it.

            One thing that does help me though if I want to get on a shortened morning routine is having clocks (all set to the same time, not drifting 5 min one way or another) everywhere, and setting timers on my phone. So that way I can see right away “oh crud, I spent an extra 5 min in the shower, gotta cut that time” or “ok, I’ve got 15 min till I have to walk out the door and everything is in place, I can go ahead and check Facebook/read an article online/check my personal email/etc”

            Taking an hour to get ready in the morning and fully wake up doesn’t seem ridiculous to me at all – it seems normal. When I try to compress my mornings to less than 45-50 minutes, I feel like I start the day stressed and harried and it never gets any better from there.

        3. I seriously love breakfast. It is my favorite meal of the day. Part of that is sitting with a paper/computer and just relaxing for a bit. It’s a huge time suck but I don’t mind waking up a bit early to accommodate it.

        4. Wow! I’m a huge breakfast/brunch person on the weekends – maybe that’s why I can’t imagine it on weekdays. I’d have to add an hour to my routine. ..

        5. Yes, after walking the dog I sit down every morning with the Washington Post, a yogurt, and a cup of tea to start my morning. I can’t imagine going directly from bed to shower. I have to ease into my day a bit.

        6. I am. I love a long morning. I just get up early and make it part of my personal time in the day. I usually go for a run, come back have breakfast, read the paper, and then get ready. I feel too rushed and like I’m on “auto repeat” if I just woke up and rushed into work.

      2. Breakfast is my problem too, though I find it takes me a long time to make it. In the morning I’m just not yet on my game, and so I’m in and out of the fridge 5 times for things, looking for silverware twice, etc. Prepping breakfast the night before really helps me, as does taking it to go and eating at my desk (to-go breakfasts are also easier to prep ahead, in my experience). Making coffee can suck up my time in a similar way, and I’ve spent the last year doing cold-brewed iced coffee, which has really helped: coffee/ice/milk in a travel mug and I’m out the door. I do miss hot coffee and am thinking about trying to start it up again, but if I do, I’m going to try to set up sort of a coffee station for myself in the kitchen and make it as efficient and dummy-proof as possible (organizing things so I naturally do things in the right order, don’t have to walk across the kitchen for the beans, then again for the filter, then again to wet the filter, etc).

        1. Automatic coffee maker! Bonus: having the smell of fresh coffee to wake up to.

    7. I find I take as much time to get ready as I have. I don’t know if that makes sense but I can stretch it so I’m usually showered/dressed/hair done/makeup done in the morning before work in 35-40 mins but I can take an hour and a half getting ready for a night out with the results usually being fairly similar.

      Is it possible you’re just giving yourself too much time in the morning? I think AIMS idea to time yourself is a good idea so you can figure out what you’re doing and where you can shave some time off.

    8. I shower at night, which frees up a large chunk of morning time (and also allows me to air dry my hair instead of using heat). Lunch is packed the night before, coffee pot set up and programmed to start at the same time as the alarm.

      When I get up I just have to put my makeup on, put in my contacts, get dressed, eat a bowl of cereal, and pack my bag for the day. I don’t let myself check anything on my phone except the weather app, and don’t turn the tv on, so I don’t get distracted.

    9. I eat breakfast at work while reading emails and catching up on the news. I’ll either prepare breakfast the night before so I can grab it and go or get something on the way in.

  7. I’ve lost a lot of weight recently, due to illness.

    I keep getting compliments, or people asking “what’s your secret?”. I don’t really want to go into my health, but I am really uncomfortable with the comments. How can I deflect them? Do I just accept the compliments graciously?

    2. “You look great”

      “Thanks”

      “How’d you lose the weight”

      “Oh that’s so boring! How about xyz other topic though”

      1. I would just deadpan “Cancer” and then walk away, but I’m kind of evil and would love that comeuppance for someone asking such a question.

        1. OMG, a long time ago, one of the old ladies in the church asked one of my friends (who was the choir director’s wife), why our baritone soloist shaved his head. This was before it became a thing with guys – he’s gay and was losing his hair and thought it looked better shaved – of course this is all so common now. So to avoid discussing details of his life with the old lady, she just mouthed “chemotherapy.” End of conversation.

      2. Second the Anon above but replace “that’s so boring” with “unintentionally,” and then change the subject.

          1. If it’s a long term illness that you don’t want to talk about, “unintenttionally” works well. If its just that you had the flu multiple times or mono or something like that and you don’t mind telling people that, i would just go with a short version of that. Something like “I had a terrible flu/mono/etc all winter – I don’t recommend it as a weight loss strategy. So how is XYZ?”

    3. The same thing happened to me – I tell them the truth. In a light hearted way. “I was really sick for two years, but I look great!” I do it in a very hammy / humorous way – not to embarrass or shame them.

  8. I finally took the plunge after reading recommendations here and they are fantastic on my problematic triangular-shaped feet (narrow heel; medium toes). They are a great replacement for some TB heels that were good (but not nearly padded enough on the bottom) that I had worn into the ground. FWIW, I went with the mid-heels, which are 2″ and chunky. I am so happy that I bought a pair and a spare.

    1. +1 for BB shoes in general. They last longer the just about any other pair I’ve owned.

  9. This post keep opening the App Store on my phone. this doesn’t happen to me on any other websites.

    1. Me too. Has never happened on another website. Has been a huge issue here for the last couple days.

  10. Informal Survey: If you received an invitation for a housewarming party for a casual acquaintance or coworker, would you consider it a solicitation for a gift?

    Context: BF and I just bought a house and I have this superstition that you need to literally “warm” the house with friends and family to make it truly a home. We’re kind of out of the way for most people so we can’t get people to travel one on one to visit as easily but I think if we made an Event of it more people would come.

    ALSO, because of certain cultural reasons at my workplace, I feel I must invite ALL of my coworkers, even those I don’t know well, and this means 50 people just in that category (plus their spouses and possibly kids? maybe this is insane and I have to re-think it, although I really don’t think a lot of them would come) . Of course, I would be appreciative of any gifts but we don’t really need them, and I certainly don’t want anyone to feel obligated and especially don’t want anyone to think I am being tacky and soliciting them.

    Thanks for any thoughts or advice.

    1. Yeah, I think inviting dozens of people to a housewarming looks like a gift grab, whether it’s intended as such or not. I think of HW parties as being backyard BBQ kind of events.

    2. No. I would consider it an attempt to be friendly.

      However, i would not do it if it means inviting all 50 coworkers. That’s just weird. Invite a handful or none- all 50 and you may as well be hosting an office BBQ. If it helps with the politics this is the kind of thing is mention in passing to people I’m friendly with.

    3. Why not invite friends/family/acquaintances but not coworkers? Still an event but no office issues.
      Or, if inviting office folks (separately or together with friends group) why not expressly say “no gifts please.” Yes, you’re foregoing some presents but it won’t look like a gift grab and some people will bring stuff anyway.

    4. a housewarming invitation is like a shower invitation to me – gift mandatory. If you feel the need to invite your coworkers, you will need to make an immense effort on the “no gift” messaging because people will be afraid that they’d be the only one taking you seriously and showing up empty handed.

      that said… why do you need to invite ANY of your coworkers? I have several good “work friends” but prefer to keep them at work or c*cktail hour only, not in my home.

      1. +1 Also, I wouldn’t invite people into my home if they are only “casual acquaintances.”

    5. Can you call it a get-together rather than a housewarming? For housewarmings, I tend to bring a more substantial household type gift and do think it’s a bit like a shower in that way – sort of expected. For a get-together or party, I’d be more inclined to bring a bottle of wine or offer to bring a dessert and call it a day.

      1. Yes, if you just called it “our first BBQ at our new place” that somehow doesn’t have the same feel as “housewarming” and seems way less gift-grabby and more “I like to entertain and now we have the space to do it”.

        I also think if the co-workers are an all-or-none option that you go with none and have it just be actual friends and family. If you do invite any co-workers I would only invite the ones who you would hang out with one-on-one outside work.

    6. I would unpack the “cultural reasons” — is it your culture or your workplace’s culture? If your workplace’s culture is to invite everyone (evidenced by other invitations from people in similar roles that you’ve received that are company-wide), then it probably won’t be perceived as off. If it’s your culture (not the company’s) and would be unusual in your company, it could potentially be perceived poorly – though I’d say more that it would be “off” (and people won’t come if they don’t want to) than necessarily gift grabby. Finally, if there are other people who have done this in very different roles (e.g., if the company president hosts a holiday party and invites everyone but no one else does) then I might also consider that.

      I also don’t really see housewarming parties as a major gifting occasion — I suspect you’ll get a lot of bottles of mediocre wine from co-workers if you do invite lots of them :)

    7. Definitely not a gift grab in my book. When we’ve thrown housewarmings, we usually invite about 70 people (only about 40 come) and we’ve netted total like 2 small plants, a fresh bouquet, a couple of dish towels, and a lava lamp. Plus the bottles of wine people would bring to any party.

      1. Yes, this is my experience.

        Although I totally need friends who would give me a lava lamp.

    8. Thanks everyone for your replies. By “cultural reasons” I mean workplace culture. In my workplace, people invite their bosses to their weddings. Being invited to a party at co-worker’s house is pretty common (but usually only the people who live nearby come). It is ALSO a place rife with drama, so I am worried if I invited just the handful of people I am close to, it would risk offense, whereas inviting everyone and expecting the majority not to show is safer. Additionally, I also have a leadership role here, though I am not anyone’s boss, and I don’t want to alienate anyone (can’t be more specific without potentially outing myself).

    9. Sounds like you have good reasons to invite everybody at work. One way to handle a very large guest list (including 50 co-workers!) is to make the event a day-long “open house” so that people are dropping in at different times and you don’t have everybody there all at once. It also gives you something to call the event that’s not “housewarming” and doesn’t imply “gifts required.”

  11. I love this dress. I have a similar one from DKNY in 2 colors and wear both constantly. I especially like the neckline (high but not just a constricting, unflattering little hole to put your neck through) and the styling – that necklace really makes the whole outfit look interesting while everything else is still 100% boring law office appropriate. The pleats also look very forgiving (or at least they are on my version of this dress). The lower price option is nice too but I’ve given up on Anne Klein, I think I’m too short for that brand, everything I’ve tried from AK has been a weird off-fit for 5’4 me.

    1. Kat, I got a comment on my comment here that says: Warning: sprintf(): Too few arguments in /home/corporet/public_html/wp-content/plugins/simple-comment-editing/index.php on line 153

  12. I just stuck 75% of my raise into my retirement account and am feeling the whomp-whomps about not buying something new and shiny like all my coworkers seem to be doing. Please remind me that 55 year old me will be happy with 31 year old me for doing this.

    2. You can still buy something new and shiny! Just… smaller, or shiny in a more personal way. Chuck $50 at a luxurious picnic at the weekend – and the same again on bubbles to drink with it.

      1. This. A really nice bottle of champagne to celebrate, and the rest in retirement.

        Not only with 55 year old you appreciate this, so will 35 year old you. It gets tough when you earn more money, then you raise your lifestyle. Over the long term, you adjust to that and are equally as happy as you were when you spent less money (or hadn’t bought shiny things). Thirty-five year old you will be happy that you kept your frugal habits, because those big raises won’t come every year.

        1. That is my goal. I still want to CONSUME ALL THE THINGS but when I got hired I decided I would always save 10% of my salary and at least half my raise into my 457 account.

    3. You’re making a very smart financial decision. You’ll be thrilled when you are able to retire earlier than your co-workers. Saving $1 now is like saving $4 when you’re 55, which may be what your co-workers end up doing (assuming 6% annual return). One thought, though, would you feel better about this decision if you took some of the money, maybe 100% of your raise one month, and treated yourself to something as a reward for your hard work?

    4. I have worked with a lot of elders who ended up destitute for various reasons (very often because a family member took advantage of them/spouse deceived them in some way) and I bet you anything every one of them would wish they could go back in time and trade in their trinkets for cold hard cash in the bank. Hope that helps.

  13. Poll: where did you meet your closest friend(s)? How often do you see each other/talk to each other, and how much as that changed at various points in your life?

    1. Elementary school, high school and law school. When in school I used to talk to them everyday. Now that we’re all adults and have jobs, I see/talk to local friends a few times a week, and non-local friends once a month or so

    2. I made the most good friends while a student and (later) while at-home full-time with my kids for 5 years. I had lots of time for friendship at these times in my life; spent time with friends daily. Now that I am again full-time employed as an attorney, and of course still Mom to my two kids (now 11 and 15), I have very little time for myself/ to spend with friends. It’s something I really miss.

      1. I know this is off-topic, but if you’re willing to discuss I’m so curious — how did you get a job as an attorney again after being home fulltime for 5 years? I know this is something a lot of women struggle with, and I haven’t heard of many being able to transition back. Did it depend on your practice/field or your firm or your city?

    3. I met my best friends (3 of them) in 8th grade and another one freshman year in college. Two of them live far from me so I talk to them every other week. The two that still live within driving distance, I see once a month or try to do so. It depends on our schedule. We make sure to spend some holidays together though. It first started off being the 4-5 of us but now that we are married with kids, the group has grown exponentially.

      I am so thankful for their friendship over the years. I tell them everything and love them dearly. I don’t have a lot of friends but the ones I have are true gems. It’s very much quality over quantity for me. I think it’s because they fulfill all my needs in friendships, I don’t feel the need to make new friends. I still make new friends but they are not as close. I still need to behave a certain way or be polite. With my 4 best friends, I can be myself and say anything without fear of being judged.

    4. Not counting my husband and mother, my best friends came from college (~15 years ago) and graduate school (~10 years ago). They have both been out of state for ~8-5 years, though, so we’re starting to lose touch. We see each other about once every two years. Calls/emails have gone from weekly, to monthly, to a few times a year. It’s sad, but our lives have gone in different directions – geographically and otherwise.

      Those relationships are being replaced by friends at work. In particular, three women who I’ve worked closely with (figuratively or literally) and who have children around the same ages as my kids. We talk frequently at office/lunch, but don’t do much outside of work.

    5. High school and college. When we were all living in the same area, I’d see them once or twice a week – lunches on days off, going out to see bands, etc. Now that I’m 1500 miles away from them, Facebook is our thing. I’ll chat with them once or twice a week for an hour or so, and there’s always little threads of comments on pictures and statuses.

  14. ETA I meant this as a reply to the close friends poll!

    Where I’ve met my close friends (chronologically): daughter of a family friend from growing up, girl scouts, college, social sports teams, people I’ve met through work-related groups/events although not direct colleagues, and friends of friends. Oddly enough, no one from law school. I tend to treat friend-making like dating, so I am not shy about asking for someone’s contact info and then asking them out on a friend date (or inviting them along to something I’m doing with other friends) if I think they’re someone I’d like to get to know better.

    I spend a lot of time with close friends, but my life is pretty centralized with work and home and friends all in the city and I have a reasonably demanding job, but no kids. I don’t keep in touch with my out of town close friends on a weekly basis, more like monthly and then we see each other in person a couple times a year.

  15. Tech help – I have a ton of pictures in Picasa web albums and Google+ albums that I want to convert to photobooks. I hate dealing with prints (they never make it to an album in my house), and love having a book to page through. But, my go-to service – Shutterfly – does not upload pictures from Picasa. I need to have my pictures actually uploaded to a 3rd party site to create a photobook. Any suggestions of other services? I don’t need anything fancy, but it is a tremendous amount of pictures (we do an annual “yearbook” and print one book for each calendar year, so it’s usually 800 to 1000 pictures at once).

    Thanks.

      1. Awesome! A quick review of Blurb seems perfect – thanks for the direction and the article !!

    4. I use mixbook. I love it. You can upload from several sources and either design your own or they have versions that will do it for you. I make one for every trip. You can also share a link to the book online with others.

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