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One of Target's latest collaborators is jewelry designer Dana Kellin. Her regular line has prices ranging from $100-$600, but at Target they generally top out around $50. I like this pendant with multicolored beads — it looks like it's a great way to jazz up a simple button-front blouse or sweater. It's $49.99 at Target. Dana Kellin for Target® Multicolor Long Beaded Pendant Necklace (L-2)Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
carla - the pretty dish
Thanks for sharing, I love Target designer collaborations and am just learning about this one!
Corporate Tool
This. I just looked through the Dana Kellin collection, and there are some really great office-appropriate pieces.
Anon for this
Survey time! For those with billable hours – how much time per day do you estimate you spend in the office not billing (and I don’t mean time entry/admin stuff – I mean screwing off.) Between chatting with coworkers, eating my lunch, using the bathroom, running an errand and scrolling the internet I think I spend about 2 non-billable hours away from home collectively per day. I swear, I’m trying to cut back. What is the norm for you?
Equity's Darling
Ummm, do you want me to include the time I waste on Corporette?
Probably about 2-3 hours. 4 if I include the gym (which is located in my building, so it feels like I’m at work). That being said, it depends on how busy I am, because some days I will bill practically the entire day.
MeliaraofTlanth
About the same for me. Then time entry takes me like another 30-45 minutes, sometimes an hour (I’m really slow at time entry…). I tried to take less time eating lunch, but I literally cannot eat in less than 45 minutes unless I bring a sandwich from home, which I try not to do because I’m trying to eat healthier (for some reason, salads take me forever to eat). Plus, I need that mental break and corporette surfing time during lunch.
karenpadi
I’ve heard that a good rule of thumb is to expect to spend 1 hour non-billable for every 2 hours billable. I am pretty consistent with this (of course, it varies from day-to-day).
Erin
About the same – split evenly between wasting time online and time spent eating or getting coffee and chatting.
Kanye East
It’s increased substantially the more senior I’ve become. Probably four hours a day on average.
Anon for this
Thanks! I feel so much better now. I use Manic Time so it tells me how long I’ve been on my computer. When that is hours lower than what I’m billing I get depressed. Glad it is more or less normal!
Jas
I try for about 1 hour a day, I usually end up with 1.5 (lunch, plus Corporette/Facebook/Hairpin). It varies pretty highly, though. Fridays and Mondays are by far the worst.
MeliaraofTlanth
I posted this in the morning thread, but I think I was too late for replies:
Help! I’m supposed to go to a client gala tomorrow night; when the partner first told me about it and I asked about attire she said “cocktail, you know, like a little black dress.” So I borrowed a knee-length black v-neck dress with sequins on the top from a friend (i’ll post a link in a reply to avoid moderation). But Partner’s email reminder this morning said attire is black tie. Does knee-length work for black tie??? In my mind, I think long dress when I hear black tie, but can I get away with this? Is black tie really only different from cocktail attire if you’re a guy? (all the other associates my age that are going are guys, so obviously that doesn’t help, and I can’t find any pictures from previous years).
MeliaraofTlanth
Here’s the dress I borrowed:
http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=544757&PartnerID=LINKSHARE&cm_mmc=LINKSHARE-_-n-_-n-_-n&LinkshareID=J84DHJLQkR4-5Z9L5N9sMuYEE013nwbpUQ
Erin
I think that’s fine. You won’t be the best dressed woman there but it’s perfectly acceptable. You can dress it up with sparkly earrings and satin shoes, which are both more appropriate choices for evening.
a passion for fashion
I think its totally fine. Its definately more c-tail, but i was recently at a black tie event where i was sure everyone would but full black tie, and at least a third of the women were in c-tail dresses.
MeliaraofTlanth
wait a minute, is my comment getting moderated because of the link or because I have dared use the word c*cktail?
Erin
The word c-cktail will get you in moderation every time. I wish I was kidding…
anon
I think this is one of those cases where you have to weigh context against the traditional rules. Technically speaking, black tie means long dresses and evening gowns. If you were going to a black tie wedding on a Saturday night at the Plaza Hotel (etc), you probably wouldn’t want to wear knee-length.
What you’re going to sounds like a charity ball (guessing, but again, context) for some cause that your client is a sponsor of. These things are usually billed as black tie, but then people show up in cocktail dresses. (Hence, your female partner/colleague’s comments.) People rarely show up in true black tie in the middle of the week, unless you’re talking about the Costume Institute Ball or the Met Opening Night Gala or whatever.
So I think you can wear the dress you posted. If you want, dress it up with formal jewelry, pull your hair up, etc. Good luck.
CW
I think you’ll be fine in that. I agree that I usually think floor-length dress when I hear black tie. However, your dress is pretty fancy, and if this is an after-work event, I imagine that women’s clothing will be a mix of knee-length to floor length.
Lyssa
I agree that the dress is fine (and pretty!). Traditionally, black tie would be formal, floor length, but I’ve noticed that the trend in recent years is to go short even in very formal dresses (e.g., have you noticed that bridesmaids are almost always in shorter dresses lately? That was unheard of when I got married in 2001). And people rarely go all the way with formal, anyway.
Circe
Even Emily Post says that short is fine for black tie these days (will post link to chart).
Circe
http://bit.ly/9rEO68
another anon
If the partner has been before and she says LBD, then you’re definitely good. And even if she hasn’t been before, I agree with everyone else who is saying that the dress is fine.
MeliaraofTlanth
Thanks, all! I’m a little fuzzy on the details as to what exactly it is besides a gala being thrown by the clients, but I assume it’s charity, and it’s 6:30 on Wednesday. I’ll wear the sparkly pretty diamond studs and satin shoes and hope that’s dressy enough. If Emily Post deems it appropriate, it must be so.
kay
Ladies, a threadjack-
I will be traveling to Qatar in January (non-work related). Could anyone please share tips on what to wear – both as to cultural appropriateness and weather. I’ve never been anywhere in the middle east and have no idea what to expect. I’d love any other tips, too! Thanks.
Erin
I’d keep shoulders, chest and knees covered. I assume you’ll be in Doha – it’s a big city with lots of foreigners, and no one walks anywhere so you’ll be in air conditioning most of the time. Qatari women generally wear an abaya when they’re outside the home in mixed company, but foreigners are not expected to. Some women dress skimpily, but you’ll stick out (and not in a good way) if you’re showing cleavage or a lot of leg.
In general, Qatari women are very fashionable and elegant. Don’t be afraid to wear makeup or feminine accessories if that’s your style.
Erin
I forgot you asked for other tips – if you are not Muslim you can drink in hotels. I think there may be a permit you have to get attesting you’re not Muslim and can drink, but I can’t really remember and if there is one it isn’t complicated. In general, any time you’re in public, even if you’re just in the hotel lounge, avoid any sort of drunken behavior and any sort of overt sexual behavior (even kissing your husband or boyfriend in public). I think most hotels have westernized to the extent that there are coed pools, a bar, etc.The rest is just traveller common sense – be polite, follow the local rules, etc.
ST
I was in Qatar a few years ago, and found that it wasn’t particularly difficult to dress for it — no cleavage or above-the-knee skirts, and it’s preferable to keep your shoulders covered as well, but the air conditioning is on such overdrive everywhere that you’d probably want to be that covered up anyway. I would bring a nice scarf or pashmina in case you do end up somewhere you need your head covered, but it’s not necessary in general.
TNT
I spent some years living in Qatar years ago, they’re a little more liberal now, but I doubt *that* much has changed.
The suggestions you’ve gotten are good ones. No cleavage, in fact crew necks or tucking in a scarf to minimize that would be nice. Nothing above the knee and sleeves. preferably full length (it’s cool enough there this time of year) or if not at least short sleeves. I wouldn’t even do a cap sleeve.
Yes the local women wear abaya’s to travel around, but at the higher end hotels when you see them lift them to climb stairs you’ll catch glimpses of high fashion dresses complete with slits underneath. Those will only get seen openly in the company of the woman’s husband or other women so.
If you’re travelling with a member of the opposite sex, be prepared, some hotels have separate facilities like pools for men and women (at least they used to) .
You will probalby have less of an issue with airconditioning at this time of year than the summer. They tend to over compensate in the summer, and the outside/inside temperature differential is shocking sometimes. This time of year, they’ll probably go with a lighter touch, but a pashmina is a great idea anyway. If you suddenly feel you should be more covered up, you’ll have an option.
L
Reposting because I just realized I posted in TPS report instead of most recent post..
Threadjack… looking for advice…
I have been dealing with ADHD forever, but I have been managing it successfully with medication. I just found out that my health insurance at my new firm will not cover my meds. This terrifies me because one, I don’t know how I’m going to manage the crazy workload without my meds, but mostly I know I am going to have an uptick in careless mistakes that for the life of me I can not avoid.
How do I handle this? I thought about asking my assistant to proof my work before it goes out, but that is not customary in my firm, and we only have two assistants. Should I ask my partner if I can use my assistant to proof my work? Am I going to have to be upfront with my partner?
kay
how big of a financial burden is paying for the meds out of pocket? Can you talk to your doctor about switching a generic? I would try all that first before going off the meds completely.
L
I will have to look into it. I posted in a panic because, like an idiot, I let my supply run out before filling my script. But you are right, and I will probably end up just paying out of pocket. Sigh….
Niktaw
Does the firm offer a pre-tax medical FSA? It may help you save a little even if you pay out of pocket.
Bette
Could you pay for it out of pocket? It really doesn’t seem like something that you can do without.
Ask an employment lawyer
Is it possible that the firm could pay for the meds for you as an accommodation under ADA?
shrink anon
You might also check with the pharma company direct; they often have programs for lower cost meds. Above all, I would be direct with your prescribing physician and see if s/he has any other alternatives to lower cost. If not, also get advice and instructions how to taper down the dosages; you might find you can do tolerably well with less (and increased environmental structure) and make rx last l0nger/more days.
Don’t just abandon the medications.
Anon for this
Don’t immediatly fret. If your insurance excludes coverage for “learning disabilities” your doctor may consider ADD a “mental health condition.” Mine does and my med is covered under that. Also, while my med was still initially denied, it was because my doctor had to precertify that I have ADD, that he considers it a mental health condition, and then it would be covered. Many controlled substances require precertification to be covered. Read your firm’s insurance policy contract. Also, are you married? Since switching jobs is a life event, could you switch to a spouse’s policy? Last, check into generic out of pocket and check lower cost pharmacies like Wal-Mart.
I feel ya!
Erin
I’d suggest that you appeal the insurance company’s decision; speak confidentially to the HR or benefits person about ways the firm could either accommodate you or (if the firm is big enough) work with the insurance company to expand coverage; and look into opening an FSA or HSA so that you can pay for your meds with pretax money.
I wouldn’t stop taking meds you need to function unless there’s absolutely no way to afford them.
L
Thanks for all your helpful comments!
It seems I was initially struck with panic at the thought of practicing law without my meds. Apparently, my physician does need to send a letter to the insurance company for further information, so this will be more of a short-term ordeal.
Unfortunately, the person in charge of benefits is the partner I work for. That make things a little awkward. Lets just hope I can be somewhat functional until things work themselves out.
Anon for this one.
I’ve been in a similar situation, and had to ride my doctor (well, her staff) to get that letter sent. Just be prepared to follow-up, maybe multiple times (which only adds to the stress).
For what it’s worth, after the doctor sent the letter to my insurance company, my prescription was covered. Basically, the insurance company needed to know that I had been on a less expensive treatment option first, and it didn’t work, before they approved my more expensive prescription.
Good luck!
Emily I
Can you get some samples from your doctor to help tide you over?
Anonabust
Yeah, mine are only $15 full price generic. Just pay, not worth it. Also, can you get it reimbursed on flex spending or anything?
beccavt
Has anyone tried a good, basic, non-leather belt that still looks nice and holds up well?
In the past few months, I’ve been making the transition to veganism, but have still been wearing all of my leather stuff because I already have it. My belt is finally wearing out though, and I need a new one. Most of the belts that are specifically made for vegans seem to be pleather, but I have no idea how that holds up or if it will look weird. They also all seem to be under $25, which seems like it should be red flag to me. Can you get a good quality non-leather belt for that price? Has anyone had good experiences with belts of other materials? Unless it is a “leather look,” the only other kind of belt I can think of would be canvas, which reminds me of my brother’s boy scout belt and isn’t exactly the look I am going for.
southanon
I bought a belt from Vera Wang’s line at Kohl’s that looks like leather but is self described as “man-made material.” It has held up for at least 3 years now, but I only wear it a few times a month.
Anon for this
Threadjack — what the heck does “informal party attire” mean? Context — Saturday evening dinner in a very nice home in San Francisco, parents of students that attend a private school (no work connection). Suggestions, please!
karenpadi
I’d go with a dressed-down little black dress or dark jeans and a festive top.
Homestar
I’d go with a casual dress (LBD or similar) or a sweater paired with dark pants or a skirt. I’d skip the jeans only because I’m one of those people that would feel out of place if no one else was wearing jeans.
Bonnie
Dark jeans and a fun top.
SF Bay Associate
Agreed. Dark jeans, fun probably silk top, and colorful or otherwise interesting shoes, and interesting jewelry. Jeans are always appropriate in San Francisco. If you’re going to a home in Pac Heights/Seacliff/Laurel Heights/ Marina or such, you’ll probably also see women in dresses a la Kate Spade or something fun, but jeans and a pretty silk top and colored heels will still be fine.
Another SF
I suspect you will also see a lot of Diane Von Furstenberg (not necessarily wrap dresses, though) and tory burch. DVF is my default for all these Pac Heights sorts of parties that aren’t actually black tie. Agree that dressy jeans and a silk top will be fine, too, though. Really, it’s hard to be that off in SF, there is such a broad range, especially if any tech people are coming.
mamabear
>especially if any tech people are coming
made me laugh, because here in the land of google it’s so true!
another SF
mamabear, no kidding! I have one family member working at google and one at facebook, and I feel like its a victory if I can get either to show up at dinner with a shirt with long sleeves and without polar fleece…
mamabear
What? They wear shirts AND show up without their dogs? You are a miracle worker, Another SF.
Gooseberry
In my view, SF is so liberal about these things (and everything else! ), I think you could do anything from dark jeans+heels+pretty make-up+nice top to a casual dress, with more casual shoes and jewelry, but you could also probably go pretty far outside these lines and still work. The one thing I always keep in mind with these situations is to ask myself where my own comfort is. For me, I HATE being under-dressed, and only mildly dislike being over-dressed. But plenty of people feel the opposite. If you just assume you’ll not get it perfectly right, and then veer on the side of your own comfort, you’ll be comfortable and happy (and that will make whatever you choose perfectly right!).
zora
What is with all these random new dress code phrases these days?! it’s annoying the crap out of me: stop making things up!!
My mom called me in a panic this summer when she got the info for her high school reunion and for one of the evening events it said dress was “party casual,” and she had no idea what that meant. Was she supposed to look dressy and partied up, or casual and informal?
What is up with this? Anyone have any idea?
BigHTown
Nordies sale threadjack…
Just back from the B&M store. No changes to the shoe department. PHOOEY (nod to Ellen).
The sales were all present in the clothing though. Dig through the racks to find The Skirt. It’s there.
I fell upon “Only Mine” brand of 2-ply cashmere…v necks, long sleeves. In tons of luscious colors. Were $79, on sale for $39.90. Written on the tags; the gal gave me the sale price as it was not in the register’s system. Not a brand listed on line. Style was V5671NS, sku number 8-4314117126-6. Maybe they are on line now. Great buy. Fit is tts.
Happy shopping, corporettes :)
BigHTown
Here is the link, but no sale price … yet.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/only-mine-v-neck-cashmere-sweater/3185573?origin=category&resultback=109
SoCal Gator
I have that sweater in red (paid full price) and it’s gorgeous!
RPAFT
(That’s “Regular Poster, Anon For This”)
The thread below this one got me thinking about shower etiquette, generally. I’m currently in a situation that I have to imagine isn’t normal…
I have (non-work) friends that offered to throw me a co-ed baby shower, which I thought was incredibly generous and thoughtful, and so I accepted. One friend is a high-level secretary and the other is a stay-at-home mom. The employed friend lives in a nice house about 5 blocks from me. I’m due next year, so last week I get an email from my friends regarding the proposed logistics of the shower (I’m really not a high-maintenance person and as long as we don’t have the “eat baby food in diapers” game, I’m happy). Within the email, my friends tell me that they’ve decided on the best location for my shower, which would be…..my house.
I love entertaining and I have had these people and others over many times for parties, showers, etc. But am I wrong in thinking that this is unusual, to say the least? I certainly don’t want to cost my friends much money in throwing the shower…but I don’t understand why they couldn’t use one of their houses. Mostly, I’m worried now that it’s going to look like *I’m* throwing myself a shower. Anyway, I’ve been kind of flummoxed by this and now am realizing that I (or my lucky husband) will be spending the days leading up to it cleaning my house like a madwoman.
AnonInfinity
In my experience, this is very unusual. I would absolutely not want a shower at my own house for the reasons you mentioned — having to thoroughly clean while very pregnant and (most importantly) the appearance of throwing yourself a shower. I also don’t think it would be high maintenance at all to politely say something like, “I don’t think that my house would be the best venue for this. Maybe we can do it at X” and suggest a low-cost alternative in your area (a community center? a room at a place or worship if you go?).
Erin
I have been to two baby showers held at the mom’s house. One was because the party organizer was coming in from out of town, and the mom offered her own home as a location rather than have it in a restaurant or other venue. The other was because the mom was put on bed rest after the shower was already planned, so we just changed the venue to her house at her husband’s suggestion (and he cleaned).
I think that it’s fine to tell your friends that you can’t manage having the shower at your house. Just tell them politely that hosting a party really entails too much work for you. It would be good if you can suggest an alternative venue – maybe a restaurant?
eaopm3
Ugh. What a strange position for you to be in. I don’t think you can suggest that the shower be relocated to one of the hostesses houses, but perhaps you can suggest a different location entirely. Say, at the party room in a restaurant or a country club, etc. I don’t think your excuse for why you don’t want it at your house has to be specific, either.
anon
I do think that’s a bit weird, and I think it would be entirely ok for you to write back or phone and say something like, “dear X, love the plans you sent me and am so excited, but I don’t think I’m able to host at my house because life is a bit crazy these days because of.. [work, dr appointments, whatever]. Is there somewhere else we could meet?”
If you can suggest an alternate location, or offer to help set up if it’s at her house, that might help too.
I think this question has come up before so it’s not totally unheard of, but it is odd and kind of inconsiderate.
(PS – Congratulations!)
Herbie
No “eat baby food in diapers” game? What kind of party is this??
eaopm3
Haha. The same kind of party that doesn’t have everyone race to drink out of a baby bottle. = Lame. ;)
Batgirl
I just want to say that as someone who recently went to a TON of trouble to throw a close friend her shower, it’s easy to forget that it’s really an incredibly kind things that your friends are doing that will no doubt cost them way more money than you imagine. If they asked to do it at your house, you should at least consider that it may be your own “contribution” to the party to agree. Remember, not only are people paying for your party (food, drink, decorations) but they’re also giving you lots of gifts.
I’m not saying you don’t recognize this, but I think that people can tend to forget that as much as friends want to do this for friends, it can be a real burden and expense.
MelD
If the shower is going to be a real burden and expense, don’t volunteer to host it in the first place. I’m sorry to be harsh, but in the OP’s case, the hostesses kindly offered to throw her a shower and are now asking her to pony up her house as a venue. I know in my area, there are plenty of low-cost alternatives- community clubhouses, parks, and other places that won’t cost a fortune to rent. I agree with others that the OP should be as gracious as possible at suggesting a location, but I really do not think she should have to offer up her house as a venue if she’s not comfortable doing it.
KW
I think it’s strange they chose your house without talking to you about it first and agree with everyone else that you should suggest a different location if you would rather not have it at your house. But I wouldn’t worry about the other guests thinking you were throwing yourself a shower. My baby shower was at my house (I offered as the hostess was living in an apartment at the time and their clubhouse wouldn’t let you make reservations), and the hostess sent the invitations with her return address on the envelopes and had everyone RSVP to her email address. I think that made it clear that I wasn’t throwing my own shower. But I definitely agree with you that the stress of getting your house ready for guests while pregnant may not be worth it and you shouldn’t be forced to do so if you don’t want to. Your shower should be relaxing and fun!
Anonymous
KW: if I were in the same position, I would not agree to a shower at my home. I don’t care how generous they appear to be, it is crazy! It is worse than charging guests for the shower for food.
mamabear
I do think it’s a little odd that they want to hold the shower at your house, but I do not think it will come across as you throwing yourself a shower. I assume the invitations will come out in both of your friends’ names, and that guests will RSVP to one of them, not to you. If I received an invitation like that, I would not assume the mother to be was throwing her own shower, even if the address were hers.
As at least one other poster has said, it is kind of your friends to throw the shower, so I think you should ask for a change of venue as graciously as possible. If the change of venue does not happen, I hope you and your husband can afford to pay for one of those one-time deep cleanings from a maid company before the shower, so that you’re not stressed out trying to do it yourself.
AgencyCounsel
My friends threw me a baby shower at my house. They asked beforehand and it really wasn’t that big of a deal. They brought everything with them from food to decorations to plates. What I liked about it was that I didn’t have to figure out how to get all the gifts back home. What was even better was they put together many of the gifts which was a huge help.
On the invites, it was very clear that they were hosting.
KW
Quick question – I’m going back to work Monday after being on maternity leave, and I’m breastfeeding so will have to pump at work. I seem to recall someone mentioning in a previous thread a sign she posted on her office door so people wouldn’t walk in while she was pumping, but I can’t remember the wording of the sign or find that thread. Any ideas?
JJ
It’s a little cheeky, but one of the female partners in my office just printed a picture of an oil derrick overflowing, and would post it on her door when she was pumping.
Erin
I don’t remember the thread, but I’d lock the door if you can, and place a sign that says something like “If door is closed, please do not disturb.” I don’t think you need to elaborate unless you’re really comfortable doing so, in which case, something tongue in cheek would be fine.
Anon for this
In my office, people still knock or just walk right in even if your door is closed so you really have to put a sign on it to avoid unwelcome visits. When I am on a personal call or just need a breather, I put a sign up that says “on conference call, please don’t disturb.” Now, you obviously can’t do that every day at such regular intervals without someone getting curious. A woman at my old firm put up a sign that said “do not disturb” but a partner still barged in once thinking the sign was because she was working on his brief.
I’m thinking you need to be blunt but not offensive on your sign. Some people (particularly men) don’t put 2+2 together that a new mom that doesn’t want to be disturbed is probably pumping. I’m at a loss at what it would say. I think a cute cartoon milk cow w/ a “do not disturb” around it would make the point but I’m sure that would be offensive to some who wouldn’t want to be equated with a cow or have their coworkers picturing them pumping.
Hmmm . . . maybe a picture of a bike pump and a do not disturb sign?
PollyD
Some women I knew made a sign with pictures and wording refering to a dairy, but this was in grad school where things were a bit looser.
SCS
Additionally, if your secretary sits right outside your office, you may ask him/her to help steer traffic away from your door when it’s closed (a decent back-up measure, certainly not the primary stop sign).
KYC
a partner at my firm just came back from maternity leave. she has a sign that she puts up over the door handle that says “please do not enter. thanks!”
there was one male colleague of ours who got a little huffy and didn’t understand the reason for her sign, but i think it was eventually explained to him. all of the women in the office understood.
another anon
I wouldn’t rely on a sign that isn’t 100% explicit. I could definitely see a lot of the guys I work with not understanding what the picture of the oil derrick or even a cow was supposed to mean. And I don’t know that you can rely on your secretary to be outside your door all the time either–she does have to get up to go to the bathroom, eat lunch, make copies, etc., right?
Is there any possibility of getting a lock for your door? I really that would be your best option. Otherwise, I would consider sending an email to all of your coworkers saying that you are glad to be back, but that to fulfill your duties as a new mother, you will need extra privacy for the next ____ months, and therefore please do not enter your office or knock on your door when the sign is posted. Hopefully that will get your point across.
Diana Barry
Agreed – if you ask the HR person or operations manager of the firm, they can usually get a lock put on no problem. I have had a lock on my door the whole time I’ve been at this firm (started 6 months postpartum with #1 and then had #2 2 years later).
SAlit-a-gator
Why all the coy signs – send out a firm wide email explaining that you will be pumping and not to come in your office without knocking first. Simple. No beating around the bush required.
Formerly Preggo Angie
My sign says DO NOT ENTER in dark marker and is underlined several times. My secretary also looks out for me.
KK
NO on the firm-wide email. The college dropout in the mail room and the managing partner who barely knows your name do not need to know that you’re pumping.
Only people who actually come to your door need to know that you’re pumping. An explicit sign that says “DO NOT ENTER. KW is pumping and will be available in 15 minutes.” is much better than an email.
another anon
Yeah, maybe that’s better for if the OP is at a big firm. But at my firm of about 50 employees, literally any one of those people may need to come to my office at some point. I am having a hard time thinking of someone who has never come to my office for something. If that is more similar to the OP’s situation, then I think an email (plus a sign to remind people) would be appropriate.
Kaye
Someone on this site once posted about a sign that said sth like “Do not enter! If you, you will be horribly, horribly embarrassed!!”
But I agree with the lock suggestion, or the firm-wide email suggestion.
mamabear
how about “DO NOT DISTURB” with dots in the middle of both O’s to indicate nipples?
(I hope it’s obvious that I’m kidding.)
AnonOne
My sign says something like “Do Not Enter” in large font and “please email with any urgent inquiries” in smaller font. Two people have walked in on me since I returned to work in February, one before I posted the sign. Unfortunately, my HR won’t allow a lock on the door because there is a mothers room in the building (the location is completely inconvenient for me).
Just make sure you communicate the fact that you are pumping to your management, admin, and anyone who might barge into your office. Most people are very understanding and supportive.
My son just turned 1 and I’m still pumping; just went down to once a day and hoping to wean soon but he’s having trouble with a milk protein intolerance so I have to keep pumping.
another anon
Wow, that’s ridiculous that they won’t allow a lock. Aren’t you more productive staying in your office rather than lugging all your stuff to a separate room and sitting there while you pump?
AnonOne
I’m far more productive in my office. The pumping room is on a different floor on a separate elevator bank so just getting back and forth kills up to 10 minutes of the day. That time really adds up when you pump 3x a day. I’ve managed to participate in teleconferences while I pump, with the pump hidden in a drawer to muffle the sound.
Anonymous
If people can barge in, why not just use the same kind of cover-up that you might use if you were breastfeeding in public? Are your boobs really sticking out except when you place the pumps? Even then, I know that can be done discreetly.
AnonOne
I absolutely use a nursing cover! A friend of mine just turns her back to the door.
Anonymous
Why should it have to be hidden at all, let alone hidden when already behind a closed door? We shouldn’t have to be furtive. The phrase “done discreetly” is creepy in its implications. It’s a normal, legally-protected human reality.
Erin
I can’t speak for other women, but personally, I really don’t want my coworkers (in particular my male ones) to see my breasts. Peeing is also a normal, legally-protected human reality, but I prefer to do that behind a closed door too, you know?
Anonymous
Does your door open inwards? If so, consider getting one of those rubber door stoppers to jam under the door. That, plus a sign on your door, plus your secretary/nearest office neighbor looking out for you is the best you can do without a door lock. That said, you should absolutely pester the office manager to death for a door lock.
Anon
I put a sign on my door that just says “Busy. Please come back in 15 minutes.” I also lock my door. Other people in my office have used the hotel do not disturb door hangers. But everyone in our office also knocks if the door is closed and does not just barge in.
Nevadan
I usually like Target’s costume jewelry, but I don’t like these pieces because they look like they are pretending to be something real. They also look like children’s toy jewelry.
Sheri
Sorry for the thread jack but I am hoping to get some opinions from especially the more senior women here:
I am relatively early in my career and have been with the my current employer for a little over a year. Our department is small with only 3 professionals including myself. One of my colleagues left about 2 months ago so we are currently only two people but have plans to hire a replacement which will likely not happen before February of next year. Ever since my colleague left, who was one position above me, I have assumed 80% of his old responsibilitie ( and the rest just doesnt get done right now, mainly relationship type things). My workload has definitely increased though I usually get it done in my typical work day. My boss meanwhile trys to keep many things off my desk, he says, to make sure I get along with the new workload. Now here is my question: do you think it would be justified for me to ask for a raise when review time comes around ( which won’t be before march)? At that point I will have had these additional responsibilities for about 6 months and will have been with the firm for about 1.5 years. From what I heard my company does not give raises or promotions unless employees ‘demand’ it or are about to leave. I for my part have no experience in these types of discussions and generally, like probably many females, don’t like talking about money. At the same time I am working in a very male dominated industry and don’t want to be walked all over because I did not say anything.
Thanks for reading and I would be great full for any type of feedback.
Diana Barry
I would absolutely ask for a raise. In preparation for the review/raise discussion, make a list of how you have contributed more to the firm by taking on XYZ responsibilities since your colleague left.
Also, do you know what the person above you was making before he left? I would shoot for that salary if you have taken over most of his duties plus yours.
Anonymous
One guy here got a raise by pointing out how much $$ the firm had invested invested in training him and it would be lost if he quit.
GRA
You may want to re-post this on Wednesday’s TPS.
Sheri
Thanks, will do.
Sheri
Grateful that is :))
meara
My roommate was waiting for bar exam results (NY) to come out on Friday…and just got an email congratulating her on passing! She’s very excited, and shocked (since she was prepared to anxiously await an answer, Friday!)