Coffee Break – Desire Satchel

Oooh — love the rich look of this Rebecca Minkoff satchel. The size seems great for an office bag (15 x 4.5 x 9.5), and I like the purple and black lining in the interior, as well as the numerous pockets for technology and more. It was $525, but is marked to $420 today. (Zappos has another seven colors marked from $272-$495.) Rebecca Minkoff – Desire (Chocolate) – Bags and Luggage



  1. Exercising After Surgery :

    I think it was Lalo who posted that she has recently had surgery and isn’t allowed to exercise. I am having surgery next week and am not allowed to exercise for 3 weeks after. I stopped exercising about 10 days ago for related reasons. I usually run/stretch/lift 3 or 4 times a week.

    About 1 week after I stopped exercising, I started feeling achy and stiff. Last night, I stretched for about 15 minutes, and I felt much better.

    So, Lalo, maybe consider stretching once or twice a day, if you are allowed

    • I just saw this in the other post an responded there-thank you for thinking of me! I’m stretching as much as possible, but really being able to walk easier has made a world of difference. It’s hard to stretch when you can’t bend or sit unsupported, but I’m getting better at it every day! Good luck with your procedure/feel better!

      • Spinal fusion survivor :

        Lalo, I responded to your other post, but forgot to mention a book that has helped with my back pain. It’s called “Back Rx: A 15-minute-a-day Yoga- and Pilates-Based Program to End Low Back Pain” by Vijay Vad. I’m sure you can’t do it yet, but once your mobility increases, you may want to talk to your physical therapist about the exercises in this book. Honestly, the stretches in that book help my back pain more than the hard-core pain pills they gave me. Hope your recovery is going well!

      • Exercising After Surgery :

        I just got off the phone with my health insurance company and my anesthesiologist’s office (separate calls). I want to know how much I should expect to pay out of pocket, approximately. I mean, is it going to be $1,500 or $15,000? Why can’t anyone answer this question? Am I the only one who thinks about this in advance?

        I asked the surgeon, the surgicenter and the anesthesiologist, and they all seemed surprised that anyone would ask. Any insights?

        • This is my industry. The only way to get the # you want is to call the provider’s office, ask th what they’ll be doing, ten ask to talk to billing and ask them for the codes they’ll use to charge your ins. Company.

          In an easy situation, your ins co can run the #s for you, and get you a close enough approximation.

          I spend my days at a software co working on this very issue.

        • Doesn’t that depend on your insurance? In my experience, it depends on whether the provider is in network or out of network. If in-network, you should only pay copays. If out-of-network, you pay your deductible and then (typically) some percentage of an agreed upon rate that the provider has usually negotiated with your insurance company. Bear in mind that sometimes your surgeon can be in-network but your anesthesiologist can be out of network. Finding out whether your surgeon is in-network should be easy enough–and he/she should know about the anesthesiologist.

          • Also depends on the exact specifics of the procedure done, as the structure of the health plan. Many are not straightforward coinsurance/codeductible anymore.

        • Sydney Bristow :

          I have no idea if it would actually work, but if your surgery is occurring at a hospital may e you could call the billing department or the patient advocate (I think that is what they are called). If you could get a ballpark figure for the cost of the surgery then you get be able to guesstimate based on the percentage that your insurance will cover for this type of surgery.

        • I don’t think you’re the only one who thinks about it in advance.

          And this isn’t terribly helpful, but basically my understanding is that a surgeon’s view of pricing is: “It goes in a black box, and billing spits it out.” Secondhand (not a surgeon – I just live with/am engaged to one): a lot of that is because the surgeons never know exactly what they’ll find or what exactly they’ll have to do in the surgery. Surgery is billed by every discrete component. Even though there are procedures that are “standard”, they never know if there will be complications, or how many stitches you need, or if there’s a weird knot tie (that last one may not be technically accurate but I think that’s the idea).

          It’s very much unlike hourly/flat-fee billing in lawyering. Lawyers don’t break out and bill each individual staple they might use in preparing to send you a hardcopy document.

        • Exercising After Surgery :

          Thanks. I have gotten a number from my surgeon and the statement that I am not responsible for the difference between what they bill and what the insurance company allows (just my 20% of what the insurance company allows). I have gotten a close-enough estimate from the anesthesiologist and the same statement. Surgicenter is next.

          Meanwhile, my insurance company is still reviewing my surgeon’s request for pre-authorization, but should do so within the next few days.

        • If you have health insurance, you should be able to look up your deductible out of your policy. I would imagine you would likely hit your deductible from a procedure that involves any of the three things you mentioned above.

          Most places will take your insurance information down and ask you to read the RX with diagnosis and will run the numbers for you.

          If you’re paying out of pocket, try hospital billing (assuming the surgeon is affiliated with the hospital).

  2. Merabella :

    This bag is gorgeous, but it looks like an overnight bag to me.

    I made an appointment with Laura Mercier. Here’s hoping I get some great tips.

    • It is TO big for me. I would put alot of stuff in it and it would be to heavy for me with all of the stuff I put IN it. Also, it is exepensive, and the manageing partner will NOT reimemburse me for it b/c it is NOT clotheing (acording to him) — FOOEY on his rule’s!

      Anyway, I now have to do some kind of workearound to juggle the do dilegeince trip and my calendar call at the end of the month. The manageing partner does NOT want to do calendar call b/c he does NOT like the judge, and the judge does not like him that much either. Both are FORDAM grad’s and they both think that they are smarter then each other.

      Now Harold came by the offiece and was talkeing with the manageing partner about the party. I am almost expecteing the manageing partner to DICTATE that I come with Harold, b/c he live’s near me and has access to a car. I agree it will be easier to DRIVE then to take a LIRR train and cab, but I will have to SIT with Harold for 2-3 HOURS! FOOEY! What could I talke with him about for 2-3 hours?

      Harold was stareing at me with the manageing partner, and I am SURE he will also be bald in a few year’s!!!!!


    • Merabella :

      This may make me sound ignorant…

      Do you show up bare faced to one of these make up counter things? It is after work, is it OK to show up with make up on?

      • Cornellian :

        They have make up remover. but if you normally apply moisturizer/sunscreen to a clean face and wait ten minutes like I do, it might be hard to recreate that without actually washing your face beforehand in order to see how your skin reacts.

  3. Chicago meetup! :

    Thursday, Sept 27 kicking off at 5:30pm (I’ll be there until at least 8pm)
    Encore Liquid Lounge in 312 Chicago (136 N LaSalle Street)
    Valet parking is $12 for 3 hours
    This notice will be reposted periodically until the day. I’m really excited about meeting you all!
    Terry (ChicagoC o r p o r e t t e at

  4. anon for this :

    To anyone following my colposcopy saga (hard, I guess, since I’m always anon for this), the biopsy came back cin 2. Has anyone had this happen? As a generally healthy mid20s woman? My doctor was happy to let me wait three months and retest, but also recommended considering cryosurgery.

    What did you guys decide, and why? I’m okay with the pain/inconvenience/money of the surgery, but it’s not entirely effective, and other cells may be infected later, anyway. Thoughts?

    • I had completely ineffective cryosurgery in my 20’s for precancerous cells. Didn’t do anything. I had laser surgery followed by topical chemotherapy and that finally kicked it. Keep in mind that I had that cryosurgery more than 20 years ago so the techniques may have gotten better but I would explore other options if I were you.

    • Yep, I had cin cells when I was 30ish, I think? But a few years later, I am totally fine, and many rounds of 3month/6 month paps have come back normal. So, it is possible to get past this. But I’m sorry this is happening, it totally sucks, and I’m sending {{Huggs}} :o(

      My dr didn’t recommend cryosurgery, mine was very localized, so I had a conization. So, you might check with a couple drs and get a few opinions before you decide. You could even have a follow up biopsy and a second round of pathology to get a better idea of what you’re dealing with exactly? My dr said it was important to figure out exactly where the abnormal cells were and how abnormal they were. You can take your pathology report straight to other drs if you want other options.

      I hope everything works out soon!!!

    • Also had cryosurgery more than 20 years ago for “dysplasia” but I don’t know what the grade was. Never had anything pop up after that.

      • Same here, except mine was 15 years ago.

        • I had cryosurgery when I was 25 ish, so 10 years ago. It got all the bad cells. I now have two amazing little ones, so I think it was a success.

    • I had four years of CIN 3. It was apparently mild (not sure I understand how it can be both CIN 3 and mild) so they told me it was up to me whether I want to do a LEEP procedure or just keep coming in for paps/colpos. I did the latter. After four years, eight paps, and 4-5 colposcopies, it went away on its own.

      Good luck! It’s stressful, but very common and it resolves itself most of the time.

    • Another anon in DC :

      I wrote in a few months ago freaking out about a CIN 3 result from a colpo and upcoming LEEP (thanks again to zora, NOLA and others who were reassuring — it wasn’t as bad as I thought!). I wasn’t given the option of waiting, given the grade of my results, and ultimately it’s up to you, but a lot of the research does seem to show that CIN 1 and 2 growths will often go back to normal without treatment. If you don’t feel comfortable or completely confident in this doctor’s advice, don’t be shy about getting a second opinion! Also, this is far, far more common than you realize.

      In my situation, many of the ‘r*ettes recommended seeing a new doctor after some less than stellar experiences during the biopsy and follow up. I went through the LEEP with my then-doctor. The experience itself was no big deal — pretty easy recovery. But, the results came back showing that the LEEP hadn’t removed all of the bad cells. After another round of freaking out, crazy Internet research, and absolutely no reassurance from my doctor (she basically said “Oh. Well just come back in 6 months for another Pap.”) I finally decided to go see another doctor. She was much more patient and explained things in a lot more detail, which made me feel much more confident in her recommendation (which was also just to wait and follow up). Sometimes just talking to the right person can make a big difference. Also, for what it’s worth, even the nicer new doctor treated my lingering CIN 3 as “not a big deal,” in case that makes you feel any less worried about CIN 2 at this point.

      Good luck!! And internet hugs to you!

    • Also anon-for-this :

      Hugs to you. I was generally healthy and was mid 20s the first time I had the bad pap and follow-on fun. It sucks, and I’m sorry you have to go through it. I am now late 20s and still generally healthy, though, and my cervical issues are mostly an annoyance (frequent pap smears- blech) rather than an actual health risk.

      I had two conizations, each time after waiting and follow up in a couple months. Both times the margins were clear after the surgery, and both times the bad cells came back. That’s the great thing about high-risk strains of HPV. The main reason I haven’t had a third surgery yet is that I’m 10ish weeks pregnant. (And if I can complain for just a moment, Dr. called to say “biopsy still looks bad, you need to come back ASAP,” I said, “OK, also, I just found out I’m pregnant, so does that change anything?” and Dr. said “oh… I guess you want to keep it?” Who does that?! Reason #10 I need to find a new doctor. Anyway.)

      I’m sure you’ve read this in your research by now, but if you have cervical surgery, that puts you at risk for “incompetent cervix” and increased risk of miscarriage. While that doesn’t necessarily mean you will have problems if you want to have kids later, I recently found out that it DOES mean you get to have 4x as many prenatal appointments as normal so your OB can continually make sure that your cervix is holding up. That’s not a reason to decide against surgery, but it’s something to be aware of.

      Honestly, the first thing I suggest is to get a second opinion if you’re not sure. I did not do this, and I wish I had. My regular gynocologist referred me to a gynocologic oncologist after the colposcopy, and I never looked back or elsewhere. (My OBGYN is awesome, much better bedside manner, and not nearly as alarmist as the oncologist. Too bad it took three years and a pregnancy to finally get me to talk to another doctor.) If your non-cancer is slow-growing, but likely to recur, maybe you don’t want to jump straight to surgery. Ask questions. Don’t feel bad about taking your doctor’s time so that you fully understand your options and the potential ramifications of each. And if he/she isn’t happy to answer everything to your satisfaction, find someone who is.

      And finally, more hugs!

    • Kind of late, but I had this problem a few years ago. I had a clean pap when i went in for a menstraul issue and then a month later at my yearly I had one come back with severe dysphasia. I ended up waiting a few months to get another pap (only because it wasn’t convenient for me to treat it for a couple of months anyway. Then I had a colposcopy and a LEEP. I am about three years clean and can resume normal pap schedule after my next one.

  5. Pretty purse!

    I wanted to say thank you to everyone for the dentist recommendation. I printed out a list and am going to try to book an appt. tomorrow morning. You guys are awesome. Now, here’s hoping I follow through and get myself to a dentist ASAP.

  6. Great bag, and very on trend. It’s hard to find a stylish bag that fits all of a working woman’s needs, so thanks for the suggestion.


  7. Nonny - Project 333 :

    Hi ladies:

    Someone asked me yesterday to list what I have included in my Project 333 list and how I chose what I did. So here goes.

    Let me preface this by saying (a) I know I am over 33 items and honestly, I didn’t count (that wasn’t the point of the exercise), (b) this doesn’t include raingear (this being the PNW, after all), accessories, undies, gym gear or house-lounging-around gear, and (c) this is a “summer” list.

    3 suits (1 with a skirt, 2 with dresses)
    2 jackets (1 black, 1 grey)
    3 sheath dresses (1 green, 1 grey, 1 black)
    5 blouses/shells
    4 pencil skirts (black, magenta The Skirt, navy pinstripe, blue with lilies)
    4 cardigans (yellow, navy, red, black)

    1 blue and white striped BR blazer
    7 tops
    1 black fleece (this is the PNW, after all)
    2 jeans (1 skinny, 1 bootcut)
    1 pr bright pink capris (also worn to work on casual Fridays)
    1 pr blue and white shorts
    4 skirts
    1 long skirt for “fancy”
    4 dresses

    First of all, this ended up being *way* too may clothes. I haven’t worn everything, especially on the casual front.

    I basically chose items based on (a) what I specifically wanted to wear over the summer and know I won’t be able to wear once the weather turns, and (b) my favourite items that I know I love to wear.

    It was a revelation to me that I didn’t wear everything, despite the fact that this represents an embarrassingly small percentage of my actual wardrobe. This is why I am now doing my darnedest to whittle things down. The lesson has hit home even more vividly since I received clothing that had been packed up during my move and just reached me last weekend after 4 months – I’m now looking at it, thinking, why do I need all this? My mission now has changed from having alltheprettyclothesnow to being able to fit everything in one closet. I am *way* far away from that right now, but I put a few more items into the give away bin last night. This is going to be a long journey.

    • 2/3 attorney :

      I’m interested in trying this (actually, should have before I hauled a bunch of crap out to D.C., but that’s another story). Did you actually pay for the program on the web site? Seems like there have got to be other resources out there with the same information that’s free – seems counterintuitive to pay for something to teach you to be less of a consumer, no? Any resources for tips on this would be appreciated!

      • Merabella :

        Kendi Everyday has a spot on her blog about how to do it. I don’t think you need to pay for a program, just pick out 33 items (or whatever number you think is right) and go for it.

      • No, no, I didn’t pay a cent, just looked up the website and figured it out on my own.

    • Sigh. Having alltheprettyclothesnow is such a tough thing to resist.

      But yes, I have finally started to admit that there is such a thing as too many pretty clothes. With only an outfit (or two occasionally?) a day it’s impossible to wear them all!

      • Senior Attorney :

        That’s my issue. After a big weight loss I have way more pretty clothes than I’ve ever had before, and I actually feel bad because I don’t get to wear each piece nearly as often as I’d like!

        • Haha. I totally have “neglected clothing guilt” at times. Like as a kid, when you felt bad about not playing with all your toys equally? Same thing.

          • Merabella :

            This is why I never had stuffed animals, because I felt bad if I slept with one teddy bear and the other one didn’t get attention, so then I had ALL THE TEDDY BEARS in the bed. It was too much. Toy Story did a number on me man.

  8. Flying Solo :

    Where could I go for a week to learn how to surf? I would be traveling by myself, so somewhere safe and where I wouldn’t stick out would be preferred.

    Relatedly, how do you get away without spending a ton of money?

    • Where are you located?

    • Merabella :

      Are you West Coast, East Coast, Mid-West? That helps determine somewhere to go that is less expensive.

    • West Coast – if you aren’t adverse to learning in cold water, go to Tofino, British Columbia. There is even a surf school there specifically for women, called “Surf Sisters”. I haven’t tried it myself but a bunch of my friends have and loved it.

    • Depending on what you mean by “without spending a ton of money,” Nosara, Costa Rica. I’ve only gone with DH, not alone, but we always end up meeting a handful of lone women. There are also women’s surf camps based in the town.

    • Costa Rica! The water is warm, and there are plenty of safe, fun places for solo travelers learning to surf. I would look up the various surf camps on the Nicoya Peninsula – Malpais is beautiful, and I think there’s a surf camp for women called Pura Vida (?) somewhere on that peninsula too.

      • Second the recommendation for Pura Vida Adventures (puravidaadentures [dot] com) — they are based in Malpais. The woman who founded and owns the school/camp (Tierza) is fantastic, and it’s specifically designed for women-only learn-to-surf weeks. I went with my best friend for my bachelorette trip, and we had an amazing time. There were plenty of women at our camp who came solo, too — it was about 12 of us total and we all bonded. I had only tried surfing once before this; my friend lives in HI and grew up there, so she was already a rather accomplished surfer — but she was by far the outlier. They would usually have one instructor take her out to the more advanced breaks and then have three other instructors working with the rest of us who were newbies. Also — yoga, ziplining, and great food (lots of fresh tuna sashimi, and a great Costa Rican/Mexican place called Mary’s, if I’m remembering correctly).

    • Flying Solo :

      Thanks, everyone. I’m in the midwest. My office seems to only re-route work if you’re out of the country, so I have this feeling that I need get legitimately “away” for it to be meaningful.

    • LeChouette :

      check out witch’s rock surf camp in tamarindo costa rica. it is super cheap, solo traveler friendly, and full of awesome people. I went for my bar trip for a week and had an incredible time.

    • Second the Costa Rica rec. DelMarSurfCamp [dot] com.
      Very solo traveler friendly and pretty much all inclusive. Call them directly if you have cost issues, they can cut out some of the superfluous day trips and/or set up a room share. Warm water, sand bottom, slow breaking waves. What more could you want?

    • Costa Rica, somewhere in the Caribbean (Barbados?), Bali.

      • downstream :

        As a cheaper alternative to Costa Rica, you can go to San Juan del Sur in Nicaragua – it’s north of Costa Rica but the same coastline, great waves, and Nicaragua is super cheap.

    • Southern Living magazine had an article on a surf school in Wilmington NC, and it’s a beautiful beach. We didn’t go to the camp but I loved that place. I’ll put the link in a separate comment but if you google “A week at Surf Camp Southern Living” it should come up…just did for me.

      • Here’s the link about surf camp:

    • another vote for Costa Rica! DH and I did this last year, and we had an absolute blast. Costa Rica is really cheap (once you get there), and there are lot of American expats in the surf towns, so most people speak English. I felt very safe, and I definitely didn’t stick out except for being much less sleek and surfer-y than everyone else. The place we went was called “Costa Rica Surf Camp” crsurfschool dot com and included a room at a pretty shabby but adequate little hotel steps from the beach, breakfast, 5 days of surf lessons, and transportation to and from San Jose airport. The two main instructors we had were great. We probably could have done it a little cheaper without the “package,” but it was easy and convenient.

    • You might also check out Las Olas Surf Safaris — also women-only, but this one is in Mexico (near Puerto Vallarta). I haven’t been but have heard good things. It’s closer and easier to get to than Costa Rica — but probably for that reason, more expensive than Pura Vida.

  9. TJ – Summer Associate question!

    I just accepted a summer associate position at a V20 firm in NYC, and am wondering how to prepare wardrobe-wise. I had a summer associate position this past summer and own an appropriate number of suits to get me through, but am wondering if it would be good or bad to upgrade a few of them. I’m thinking of moving from The Limited to Theory – a large jump, I know.

    Is it silly to invest in something so nice for a summer associate position? I like to wear nice clothes and think it would be a fun, good long-term investment…but I don’t want anyone to think I’m being presumptuous. On the other hand, I don’t want to be judged for suits that aren’t “nice” enough.

    Maybe I’m overthinking this…but advice and perspective would be nice!

    • anon for this :

      I’m a junior associate right now (more V30-40 range, though). I think as long as you’re not in ill-fitting all polyester suits, no one cares. I did notice one summer associate this past summer who always wore very expensive clothing, but I don’t think it impacted my view of her work at all. I don’t know if very expensive clothing read “presumptious” to me, it more read “from wealth.”

      After taxes and setting up shop for the summer, you’d be surprised at how quickly your salary can disappear, especially if you don’t have parents paying for school. I’d save the money, but definitely splurge on something grown up for yourself.

    • You’re overthinking this. I would wait until you’re there a bit because it’s hard to know what you’ll need/want before you get a good feel for the firm. Also, I say this with love – but not all suits that seem appropriate/perfect while you’re a law student actually are (this is especially true for shoes, but applies to suits as well). Again, you’ll know this better when you’re there a bit.
      BUT — that said — if it’s reasonably within your budget, there’s nothing wrong with buying one great, classic Theory suit to make yourself feel good and to be your go-to when you need that extra little bit of confidence.

      • phillygirlruns :

        i agree with everything AIMS said.

        if you stick to the basics, you can’t go wrong with theory – but go beyond the basics and you could go very, very wrong. i own the gabe b jacket and emery trousers in a few basic colors – black, light/medium gray, chocolate brown, and a black/charcoal houndstooth wool. i started piecing these together my third year of law school by stalking the sales racks at bloomingdales and nordstrom, and wrapped up my little collection this past fall as a fifth year associate. they have been great investments but i still haven’t, and won’t, pay full price.

    • Do you have an idea of what the dress code is like? I know of firms in NYC that range from completely casual to suit-every-day. If your firm is in the latter category, I think upgrading might be nice just because your suits will hold up better throughout the summer. No one would judge though for a lesser quality suit unless it was visibly shabby, though. If your firm is like most and is just business casual, I’d probably upgrade only if it didn’t feel like a major financial burden, and then only 1-2.

    • Okay – thanks everyone! I do know that it’s a suit-every-day office, so maybe I’ll look at a classic…but it’s nice to know I don’t have to worry about it either way if I don’t find something I love.

    • Kontraktor :

      If you want some nicer suits, can I suggest heading to a Brooks Brothers outlet? They often have days where things are marked down an additional % (whereas Theory outlet seems to only rarely mark things down any additional %). BB outlets have a mix of the outlet only items as well as regular store items. With the extra discount, you can often get (very) nice lined wool suits for less than $200. The outlet only items are great quality honestly. The wools are very nice and often the trousers are fully lined, which can be hard to find. One thing I never understood about Theory suits is why so many pieces tend to be unlined. Works for some people, but I prefer the look and feel of lined clothing. Anyway, just another alternative to get some great quality stuff potentially easier and cheaper than Theory.

      BTW will say that BB can obviously be a bit more traditionally cut than Theory, but even the outlet tends to have a few different trouser cuts and I have found some ‘unique’ suits there as well, so it’s not all stodgy grandma stuff :-)

      • I actually did this for my “nice” suit this past summer, and got a cute but classic suit for about $200. It still makes me feel just a little more put together. Might be a better idea to just do that again…thanks for the reminder!

      • I heartily second this advice. Combing through BB outlets got me through many trials as a paralegal, judicial internship, and SA time (all needing multiple suits). BB also has mix-and-max suiting (good if you’re different sizes on top and bottom) and you can often get a jacket with both pants and skirt to maximize your options.

    • Anon in PNW :

      The day before I started my own summer associate position in BigLaw (Memorial Day) I went to the local outlet mall. My total spend was about $2000.

      At the Theory outlet, I bought: 1 navy suit (dress, pants, skirt, and jacket) and three additional dresses. Basically, I bought the outlet version of the Betty sheath dress in 4 colors.

      At Brooks Brothers, I bought 3-4 cardigans and matching shells.

      At Banana I bought 2 pairs of virgin wool pants (black and khaki).

      Most days I wore a sheath dress plus a Brooks cardi over it, or wool pants with a twin set. Jazzed it up a bit with nice belts and silk scarves.

      I cannot tell you how many compliments I got on how I dressed from associates and partners alike. I definitely believe it make a difference in how I was perceived. Coming from a middle class background (parents only have college degrees), I was concerned about fitting in. After investing in these pieces, I basically did not have to shop again for anything major for the four years I practiced at a firm.

      • Kontraktor :

        Some people here disagree, but I actually think a twin set can be a somewhat more formal alternative for a non-suit day. I think it’s because a twin set is coordinating, usually out of a heavy fabric, very conservatively cut, and not all that ‘fun’ looking. I think a scarf is also a great way to jazz an outfit like that up because scarves, I think, can make a person appear on the more mature side as well. I have a couple BB twin sets and have definitely worn them on days I need to be a bit stodgy/formal looking but don’t want to wear a suit. I would recommend them as supplements (especially if people ‘dress down’ on Fridays but not really).

      • Okay, someone posted a while ago about amazing weight loss results from some kind of a program. It may have involved milkshakes and medical supervision. Does anyone remember the name of this program? It may have been HMR, but I can’t quite remember. Poster, if you’re out there, I would love to confirm that this is the program you used and find out how you’re doing now!

        In need of some professional WL help

        • Oops, this was supposed to be a standalone comment — sorry for the interruption!

    • Don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe wait until it’s closer (March, April, May) because it would be sad to buy a theory suit and then gain or lose enough weight your second year for it not to fit at the job. 2L is tough in different ways from 1L. If it is just going to be in your closet until next May, there’s no rush.

      On the other hand, several women in my school wore theory to interviews etc. I think it’s not “too nice.”

      • SF Bay Associate :

        +1. This happened to me. My slimmer cousin got a lot of really nice stuff that I only wore for a summer.

  10. Kat says that she likes the purple and black lining and, yeah, it’s cute, but don’t you all have more trouble finding things in a purse with a dark lining? I do! I prefer a lining that is lighter or brighter.

    • Most of what’s in my purse is already bright – e.g., I always buy colorful wallets, etc., so it’s never an issue. I prefer dark linings mainly because they show dirt and stains less, and no matter how much I try to avoid it, inevitably a pen without a pen cap or something similar ends up at the bottom of my purse.

    • Woods-comma-Elle :

      This is why I brought a white phone – I can never ever find it otherwise!

      • x2 : this is why I replaced my black phone case with a light blue one! So, I can find it in my big bags. ;o)

    • Perhaps this answers my question as to why my question asker wanted a purse with light lining today. I found that to be a mysterious request — but that makes sense I guess. I have so much stuff in my purse most of the time, that the lining isn’t the problem, the god forsaken mess is.

      • That’s why I’m only buying purses now that are laid out in exactly the way I want them. One side for wallet, card holder and pens, the other side for all of the other crap, middle pocket for phone and keys.

      • Honey Pillows :

        Ha! Same. It’s gotten to the point where the security at the front desk greets me in expectation of plunking my purse onto the counter to rummage through it and find my keycard.

    • I have a Rebecca Minkoff purse with that lining and I don’t have any trouble with it. I usually only carry a wallet, my phone, pen, and keys, though.

    • Senior Attorney :

      This is why I use a light-colored purse insert. Not only does it make it easy to find everything, but it makes changing my bag to coordinate with my outfit a snap! Plus it saves wear and tear on the actual purse lining. Win, win, win!

  11. Seventh Sister :

    Office habitat question about closing your office door….

    In my office, people generally only close their doors for conference calls or to have really private or delicate conversations, so the general presumption is closed door = really bad news.

    I’ve been experimenting with closing my door just to get stuff done without people popping in to chat about random stuff, ask questions that could wait, etc. The door has no window, etc., so I’ve been sticking a note on it that says something like “please come on in” since some staff members will do things like leave a file in front of the door like it’s a package from Amazon or say, “oh, I had a question, but your door was closed.”

    Any tips about normalizing the closed door? I’ve been here a long time, and my boss gets it, but I don’t want to seem rude or shady or whatnot.

    • Can you leave it almost closed? Like so it’s open enough that no one thinks its closed because you’re doing some bad newsing, but not so it invites needless chatter and drop ins?

      • I work in a mostly open door office and we use a mostly closed/slightly open door to indicate that we’re hard at work but clearly not having a private meeting

    • Cornellian :

      can you just close the door 80%? that should make people think about bothering you, but not make you totally unapproachable.

    • Honestly, you don’t want to normalize it probably. Because then people will knock on your door when its closed and youll just be in the same situation you are know. I think the note is enough, and just do it in periods, so not like, 6 hours at a time. If they have a question they can email.

      • Anne Bronte :

        Agreed — don’t normalize it because then people will stop seeing it. Use it when you really need it.

      • AnotherLadyLawyer :

        Agree a million percent. I accidentally normalized having my door closed and eventually wound up needing signs that said “do not disturb until X time.” I’d go with the somewhat ajar suggestion everyone else has made.

      • Seventh Sister :

        I don’t really mind the knocking – it’s just that my ability to focus is kind of zapped by listening to people on the phone on personal calls, unrelated work calls, etc.

    • (former) Clueless Summer :

      Would it help you if the door was ajar rather than closed? To me that indicates “DND unless it’s actually important” whereas the door closed indicates don’t come in, I’m on a call or naked. Personally, I think twice about knocking on a closed door but not on a door that’s ajar.

      • “On a call or naked” just made me laugh out loud in my office like a crazy person.

    • I agree with leaving your door just slightly open. I would caution you against putting a note on your door – it draws more attention because people stop to read what it says, etc. We had a co-worker who did the note thing a while back and everyone thought it was odd.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I do a note when I really don’t have time to be disturbed. I will do it on large enough paper that you don’t have to get too close to read it. It says “filing deadline, come by later!”

    • Despite my ENTJ self, I am the “nice one” and I get a lot of questions and unnecessary interruptions on files and clients that are not mine. By the time in the day when I can no longer see my desk/keyboard/chair and I start to feel like all I am doing is sitting at my desk fielding questions, I close my door for 30 minutes. I buzz the staff members that can (and should) interrupt me that “hey, I am closing my door for a little bit but feel free to interrupt me if you need me.” Those staff are usually the bookkeeper (in case a client comes to sign for a check) and any of the assistants that may be helping me on a time-sensitive project.

      This way a partner does not field a question/task that I should have done just because my door is closed and everyone is too afraid to interrupt me because I am on a busy, naked phone call.

      I bet if you do it regularly too, people will get used to that being one of your things and realize you’re not upset. As for them putting sh*t outside my door? I do not know how to fix that. I do know that this has become the most efficient part of my day and a great sense of stress relief.

      • Mountain Girl :

        Do you have to notify the party on the other end if you are on a naked phone call?

  12. So a follow up on my shoe quest for a comfy shoe for a european walking vacay that y’all were so nice to help with and indulge. I have rounded up the following contenders, would love your votes/thoughts.

    Contestant no. 1 is a pair of Gentle Souls. Someone here recommend the brand for its comfort before and i think these could be good with skirts & dresses, but would work with pants too.
    The down side is their a bit pricier than i’d like to spend and may or may not turn out clunky in person.

    Contestant 2 is a pair of ankle boots from Clarks’ indigo line. Price is right and i have had good clarks experiences before but may be this is not an “all day” walking pair? Also, depending on how it hits my ankle, it could be less than cute with skirts/dresses.

    Third runner up is an oxford from naturalizer. I think i like these least. They are comfy but the line between funky or frumpy is being toed on this one!

    What say you, hive – one of these the one or do i keep looking?

    • Flying Solo :

      I sort of love Contestant 2 – not sure about skirts/dresses. BUT others have recommended have two good pairs of walking shoes (excuses, excuses) so maybe these plus another pair? I ordered these Crocs on the recommendation of someone here. They didn’t work for me because I am between sizes but I saw them all over, and they felt so good!

      • I have these. Can vouch that they are good for walking and even impromptu runs and are very comfortable for standing for long periods of time. I wouldn’t have thunk it and don’t normally do Crocs.

      • I am very tempted to get these Kadee in leopard as my commuting shoes!! And I am NOT a Crocs person.

    • Kontraktor :

      Another Crocs rec- the Adrina. LOVE this shoe. Have seen it on a few friends and it’s adorable. Reminds me of a jelly sandal. I think the brown color would be a great neutral and go with a lot of stuff. Also great if it happens to be rainy or drizzly. Have wanted forever.

      • Turtle Wexler :

        I have this shoe in brown and black, and it is my go-to comfy shoe for the entire summer. I can’t even say how much I luurrrve it. I bought them right after this style came out, so they’ve gotten a lot of use and are still going strong.

    • I am on the same search for comfortable shoes for an upcoming trip to India. I really love the look of the first ones, agree that they’re pricey. If you could be certain that they’d be comfortable for great amounts of walking then they’d be worth it!

      I’ve never met a pair of shoes that I could wear sockless and walk comfortably for miles. I’m usually a fashion over comfort sort of woman but I don’t want to ruin my trip for something so petty. I love those Gentle Souls but I don’t think socks would work with them. (For me, of course, YMMV) Good luck!

      • I am planning to wear these with tights so socks not an issue but now I wonder of suede is gonna be trouble. Hmm…

        I think the crocs would not work with tights though jelly shoes are a soft spot of mine :-)

    • If rain or mud or dirt path is a possibility (and it usually is in Europe) , I would stay away from suede…

    • Anne Bronte :

      This is a personal obsession. The Gentle Souls are SO cute, but I ordered a similar pair in hopes I could take them to Europe, and they just don’t have enough support for walk-all-day shoe. Not for me, anyway. I wish I could offer a good alternative, but I’ve tried a gajillion things and am not satisfied with anything.

    • MsLurksALot :

      If you don’t mind something a bit funky, you might like El Naturalista They’re made in Spain, so they have a rather European look, though certain styles are a bit weird to my gringo eyes. My comfiest heels are a blue suede pair of these.

  13. lawsuited :

    I BOUGHT A CAR TODAY! Well, I financed a car, but same difference (sort of). Signing that loan really made me feel like a grown up….as in, stressed and indebted.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      Yay! Congrats!

    • Awesome! I bought mine a couple of weeks ago and am still having fun learning all of the new features.

    • Congrats! I bought (financed) a car in March and I felt absurdly proud of myself about it. It was my first major, completely independent purchase.

    • Flying Solo :

      Congrats – think about how great it is that this is something you can afford to do for yourself.

      Also, every time I hear something funny involving pants, I think of you. I’m sorry because I don’t even know you, and I know your dress code is not your choice but….yesterday a guy carrying a suit on a hanger in my hotel (no garment bag) walked by me and the pants slid off the hanger. My friend and I chased after him to give them back, and he said “Thanks! I can’t believe I forgot my pants!” It was so funny because it WASN’T in some terrible dude-o-rama movie and didn’t involve underwear…

      • lawsuited :

        Ahahahahaha! I love this. I’m completely pants obsessed because of the dress code (I walk into a department store and am like, “oooooh! They have PANTS here!”) , but I still managed to accidentally buy a sheath dress the other day before remembering that I couldn’t wear it to work. The learning curve is steeper for some than for others :P

    • Yay!! I have never done this. That is totally grown up.

  14. Yet Another Anon :

    Threadjack – siblings and careers/grad school

    This is a spinoff in a different direction from Brant’s discussion yesterday on her sister and her career (or lack thereof). My brother-in-law has also been flailing for quite a while. He is in his late 20s and has never found a “real job” after college. His undergrad degree was in theater, and he has quite a bit of student loan and credit card debt from college and he was unpleasantly suprised to learn upon graduation that most of the jobs he could find in theater were unpaid or barely paid anything. For the past few years he has worked 2 part time jobs where he has some seniority now, but no health insurance or long term growth potential. He keeps applying for jobs and complains about his lack of a fulltime postion, but doesn’t want to take our advice when we try to help him with his resume, etc. I also had a very hard time finding a decent job after college (8 years of REALLY crappy jobs before I landed a good position at a good company) with a more “useful” degree, so I understand that it is hard for him to find something. He has floated the idea of grad school a few times, but we’ve pointed out all his friends who went deeper in debt for grad school and STILL can’t find jobs, and I thought he got the message.

    But now my in-laws have received a modest inheritance and have offered to pay to send him to grad school. And the programs he is interested in are ALSO the type of programs where people are willing to work in for free. It seems pretty clear to my husband and I that getting a degree or certificate from one of these programs will do nothing to help him get a job. How do we shake his head out of the clouds before he throws away his current (admittedly mediocre) job and pays a bunch of money for nothing?

    Notes – When I say “we” I mean my husband and I. I’ve known my BIL since he was a young teen, I am just as close to him as a sibling. And we don’t care that the in-laws are giving him money, no jealousy, I just don’t want them throwing away their money. Personally, I think this money would be better used for their retirement, as I know that they have very little saved, but I know thats not my place to tell them (and given their money habits, they would probably waste it anyway if they don’t spend it on BIL). We’ve thought about telling my in-laws that this would be a waste of money, but in the past when we’ve tried to talk to them about things like this they just avoided us and did whatever they wanted – I’m afraid if we talk to them they will shut us down and not tell us anything until they’ve paid BILs tuition for a REALLY stupid program.

    What do we do?

    • Have a glass of wine?

      My only though would be to suggest BIL spend time talking to career servIces at the grad programs he is looking at? My only wannabe actor friend went to Harvard Law as a “backup career” in case acting didn’t take off (it hasn’t, but he has a great corp law job now and plans to retire early and do theatre).

      • In addition to talking to career services, I suggest he looks at where the alums from these programs are–and not just the famous ones, but the overall job prospects.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I might also suggest he try tracking down some alumni from the program so he can see realistically what people with the degree are doing (career services is a good idea too but they might paint a picture that isn’t entirely realistic in order to get another student in the program). It might help to get the inside scoop about what the degree is worth if it comes from a third party. It’s also not a bad idea for him to make contact with these people for his future in the industry if he does go through with going to the grad program.

        There really is only so much you can say or do before causing a rift. You’ve given resume advice but he didn’t take it. You’ve advised him that the degree likely wouldn’t help, but he might not take that advice either. Ultimately he will make his decision himself, hopefully considering your advice but he still might ignore it. In my experience, pushing an issue like this for more than a couple of conversations doesn’t work out so well.

      • It’s a good idea getting some information about post-graduation careers, but I would caution you against looking at the career services office for this information. In the end, when you are a prospective student, the school is trying to sell you on the fact that their degree will help your job prospects, but that’s not always true.

        I would suggest that BIL get in touch with alumni that are 2 years or so out of the program to find out what they’re doing, what their job search was like, etc.

        On a related note, I saw the comment to Brant earlier from Real Simple about just going in order to get somewhere and I couldn’t agree more. Thinking about it last night, and the career I have now only came about because I was failing at something else, had to find another way to go, and in the process discovered an industry that I had no idea existed. Good luck to your little sister!

    • What about asking him questions. Like if he wants to get his MFA in acting, say (in an honestly curious, totally not snarky way) “what do you see yourself doing with that degree?” If he describes a plan, ask “what advantages would that program give you over the degree you currently have?” Honestly, an MFA does have one advantage, which is that he’d be qualified to teach at the college level (since that’s a terminal degree in that field). Good luck getting those jobs, I know, but at least it’s out there. Ask the in-laws the same questions. If they say “well, at least he’d be doing SOMETHING” suggest some options that could get him experience but may be unpaid (which is better than paying for them) and say that maybe what he needs is experience and not more education for his particular path.

      Ultimately, you can’t do anything to change people’s minds. Also, this might be off-base, but is it possible that you’re missing aspects of his life that are incredibly important to him, but mean very little to you or your husband? I come from a family of artists and was in an arts major in undergrad (and so have lots of artsy friends). For a lot of them, doing a dead-end job 40 hrs/wk while still pursuing their art is FAR better than doing a more interesting job but having to give up what really drives and moves them. I’m entirely non-artistic, but I do appreciate this feeling in others. Sometimes a degree isn’t just about getting a job but about learning to be a better vehicle for expressing an artistic inspiration. Not saying that parents should mortgage their retirement for this, but I can completely see getting a graduate degree in an arts program that would enable a person to do their art better even if it didn’t mean they’d ever have a better job than they have now.

    • Yet Another Anon :

      Thanks for the input everyone. And I’ve had more than one glass of wine since this topic came up, but it still makes me grumpy every time I sober up again!

      Side note – he’s not looking to go to grad school for theater, but its usually something liberal artsy that practical me says “what do you do with THAT?!” or even worse, this week its been a program that SOUNDS practical but as far as I can tell doesn’t actually help anyone get a paying job – a position as a volunteer maybe, but not a paying job.

      Right now, we’re thinking of suggesting that rather than pay for grad school they help him out so he can go down to only one part time job, and then “follow his passions” a bit – volunteer, take a class or 2, etc, but not go so far as to quit everything and pack up for a full on grad program without more direction. We’ll see how that goes, but I’m not holding my breath. Honestly, he has lots of free time, judging by the amount of time he spends lounging around our house “bored”, so he could really start following some of those passions now, making me think he’s not really so passionate.

  15. Has anyone ever had hernia surgery before? I am about to schedule it and they say I need to be out for a week! Any tips, and how long were you in the hospital/bed ridden for? TIA

    • My dad had hernia surgery a few months ago. He’s old, and he was still up and around the next day and back to normal a week or so later. Having said that, hernias can vary in severity and his surgery was very simple, so ymmv.

    • Hey — I do these operations on a regular basis. If you want to email me at ECMDCorpor*ett* a google email address. com I’d be happy to chat with you.

      FYI, you have every right to be having this conversation with your surgeon. Actually, it’s kind of poor form to plan to do an operation on someone when they don’t have a full understanding of the recovery.

      • Hey EC, I know you pop in with these kinds of comments all the time, but I just have to say: you so rock.

        That is all.

        • I agree. 100%. I have professional expertise in an area that is sometimes discussed here, and I’ve got to be honest, the last thing I feel like doing in my time goofing off is providing unpaid professional advice.

      • Thank you EC MD, that is very nice! I think I will when I get closer to it, and I will make sure to ask these questions to the surgeon to. It has been a really hard process. I was diagnosed with the hernia 8 months ago, and it took me this long to find someone to schedule it with. I like this guy though, so I will ask him more questions.

    • I had hernia surgery about a year ago. Do you know if it will be laproscopic? I ask because I understand that the recovery is easier for laproscopic surgery. I was not able to have a laproscopic procedure. I had it on Tuesday afternoon and went back to work the following Monday. It was an outpatient procedure. Fatigue was more of an issue for me than pain, especially after the first couple of days.

    • Merabella :

      I think it depends on what kind you are having, what kind of hernia you have. My husband had an inguinal hernia a few years ago and the doctor did basically a man C-section on him. It took him a few days to even get in and out of bed by himself. He is also stubborn and doesn’t like being dotted on, so that didn’t last. If it were me, I would have been in bed for a week.

      If you are having the kind where they just punch a few holes in you, you should probably be fine in a few days.

  16. LeChouette :

    Any advice on when you should seek help from a professional therapist?

    I am feeling kind of anxious about my future / down on myself lately, not drastically more than usual, but sort of sick of it and wishing I could feel more confident and less stuck in a rumination spiral about my future.

    Maybe this is a dumb question. But like I am not mentally ill and I am not in a crisis or dealing with huge life upheaval. Thus, is therapy unnecessary and should I just do more yoga? (kidding, sort of.)

    • I think it all depends on your personality. Some people just need to eat better and exercise or try something new to get out of a thought rut, but some people really benefit from therapy in the type of situation you describe. You can’t go wrong either way because if you do more yoga and still feel the same way in a month, you can go to therapy then.

    • Sounds like it could be helpful. You definitely don’t have to be mentally ill. Sometimes therapy helps just to change your thought patterns or to help you re-frame issues in ways you’d never considered.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      It’s not a stupid question! If you’ve been thinking that therapy might help you make changes that you’ve been wanting to make, then you should try it. I agree with TBK about reframing issues. Sometimes it’s helpful to talk things out with someone who is there for the express purpose of helping you.

      • LeChouette :

        Thanks everybody — I obviously haven’t done this before and wasn’t sure if they would wonder why I was there if I didn’t need medication etc.

    • emcsquared :

      A friend of mine met with a “life coach” for several sessions when she was floundering about life choices, etc. The person wasn’t a clinical therapist; instead she incorporated personality testing, sort of zen concepts (like, fill your jar with the biggest rocks first type stuff), goal setting, and some mental health help (noted that my friend seemed depressed and needed a real therapist, for instance).

      But also – that is a totally legitimate reason to go to a therapist. Just be open about your goals up front so the therapist can help you appropriately. I went to a therapist for a period when I was between jobs, and she gave me really practical strategies for avoiding some of the problems I’d had in my old job, and it’s been really helpful in my new job.

    • I was feeling similarly, and, after some research, opted to attend a 6-week mindfulness meditation course. It definitely helped me to slow down, smell the roses, and appreciate all of the good that is in my life, rather than focusing on my anxiety. I would recommend trying something like this if you aren’t quite sure you want/need to go to therapy.

    • I posted a similar question (not under this name) about a year ago. I ended up seeing a therapist a handful of times over the course of the summer. She did not think I had depression, or an anxiety disorder, nor did she laugh me out of her office, as I had feared. She just listened, offered some thoughtful feedback about where I might be going wrong, and sent me on my merry way. It wasn’t too painful, and I still had time for all the yoga a person could want. Don’t feel ashamed about asking for help! As another wise person here wrote (I’m paraphrasing), I could cut my own hair, but I pay someone who has expertise so I can look my best. No reason your mental health should be any different.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      You don’t have to wait to hit rock bottom before you need therapy. I think it’s a lot easier to work on whatever your challenges are when you’re still feeling decently, just contemplating some things that are troubling you *before* you go into a downward spiral. Sometimes you need a coach/personal trainer to help push you in the gym a bit more, give you some new exercises, correct your technique, which you can take with you next time you’re in the gym by yourself. Same idea with a therapist.

    • Merabella :

      I think it is a misconception that you only have to go to therapy when you are in a crisis/have hit rock bottom. There are so many different types of therapy, and sometimes you just need to talk it out with an unbiased 3rd party. I may be a minority here, but I don’t think yoga is the be all and end all of mindfulness and self-awareness. I love yoga, I feel really great after, but I don’t think it can help me figure out my life or teach me all the skills I need to deal with life changes or stress, for some it can, but YMMV.

    • I believe therapy can be helpful for just about everyone. As someone has already mentioned, there are many different types of therapy. And no good therapist will ever laugh you out of their office or make light of your concerns. I have found (as have many of my friends) that having a neutral third party to talk things out with is helpful 99% of the time. Even if you decide the advice of the therapist does not work for you, you have talked it through and will most likely have a better outlook on what exactly is going on in your head/body/life, etc.

  17. Flash sale site question: what do you think of the elie tahari lexie dress?

  18. Research, Not Law :

    A sweater I bought at Nordstrom’s less than a month ago (Halogen cardigan) is pilling terribly around my bust. As in, I don’t think I can wear it to work in another month. Can I return it?

    I’m sad because I loved the sweater, but I’m going to be even sadder if I wasted my money on so few wears.

    • Yes, they will absolutely take it back.

    • yes. Especially if you have the receipt/tags.

      You might get a gift card or less back if you don’t, I don’t know the policy on that, but they really will take almost anything back. Even snow tires.

      • Research, Not Law :


        I’m good with a gift card. I’m sure the credit won’t last long.

        No tags, but I do still have the receipt because I was planning on returning a top I bought at the same time. I feel sketchy returning the two items, but oh well, at least they aren’t snow tires.

  19. YOU GUYS! Check out the extreme adversity I overcame tonight:

    Situation: Got out of work early (4pm!)
    Goal: Run 2 miles with the dog

    Easy enough, right? BUT then my train was delayed. And then I realized I was home SO EARLY that DH couldn’t pick me up from the train station, so I had to walk home. In heels.

    Then I get home, and I realized it was SO EARLY that the dog walker hadn’t dropped our dog off at the house yet, so I had no furry motivation. Once the dog was home, I realized I HAD NO CLEAN RUNNING CLOTHES. So I drove over to Marshalls and bought running shorts. Because that’s how determined I was at this point. As it happens, all my gym clothes were in the dryer (good omen!). I got dressed, got the dog ready, and then it started to rain.

    I WENT ANYWAY. We went 3 miles in total, would have ran the first two entirely but my 4-legged companion had to stop and check out a golden retriever for a minute.

    My motivation? 1) Jordan’s “grand dames” comment 2) coming back to tell you all about it 3) I promised myself a glass of wine if I made it the whole way.

    • Awesome! Go you!

      And, the “grand dames” discussion from yesterday was horrifying.

    • Whoa whoa whoa. I think I get a glass of wine for this amazing story too… Done and Done.

    • Research, Not Law :

      ::high five::

    • emcsquared :

      This is totally off topic, but how did you train your dog to run with you? My dog either wants to lag a few feet behind me or crank out short bursts of 6 minute miles followed by eating grass.

      • I started by teaching my girl that she didn’t get to stop and sniff everything she wanted to when we were walking (so, sharp AH-AH if she stopped, followed by the minimum leash cue necessary to get her refocused on walking). Then we started running, just for 5-10 minutes at first, until her endurance got built up. Basically, just by dint of pure, bull-headed repetition, we got good at it. However, we’ve been running since mid-February and she still wants to go sub-6-minute pace for the first 90 seconds or so of every run because it is SO. EXCITING. TO. BE. OUTSIDE. RUNNING!! OMG! OMG!!! SQUIRREL??!

        But I guess really, some dogs have more aptitude for running than others, same as humans. I was specifically looking for a dog I could run with, so I targeted endurance-y breeds, and didn’t decide my girl was going to be my girl until we’d run a lap of the SPCA with what I considered appropriate enthusiasm and aptitude. So YMMV. But even with that it took a lot of practice before I felt comfortable say, running down a street with her, as opposed to on a trail.

        • “didn’t decide my girl was going to be my girl until we’d run a lap of the SPCA with what I considered appropriate enthusiasm and aptitude” This is so awesome.

      • Honestly, he just sort of does it. DH runs with him too (at a much faster pace!) and he needs a little leeway with me because I am too slow for his run and too fast for his walk– I got a longer leash and it made all the difference.

        He does not run right at my heels; if we are off leash, he runs in the woods next to me (sprints ahead, sniffs around, then sprints to catch up with me). If he is on the leash, he keeps pace +/- 3 feet.

        You might want to think about running somewhere where your dog *can’t* stop and eat grass. Also, make sure you give your dog enough of an opportunity to train his/herself– just because you can run 6 minute miles all day long doesn’t mean the dog can without practice. Start slower and build up.

        PS: want to come over and run 6 minute miles with my dog? He’d be your best friend. We happened to adopt a mutt that is probably cattle dog/ pit (?)/ lab (?) mix, which means he has the high speed of a cattle dog and the bully breed muscles to endure long distances. I have never seen this dog tired. Even after 10+ mile bike rides, all he needs is a 10 minute nap to be back in action. Unreal.

      • emcsquared :

        Thanks, that makes sense – I sort of thought dogs were born knowing how to match my running stride, it never occurred to me to start small and build up (duh).

        We tried to bring my pit bull to a 5K last year, and she went all Usain Bolt and dragged me to the front of the herd until we could rein her back in. It was problematic, since my “Couch to 5K” program involved me tying my shoes while sitting on the couch…and then running a 5K. I could barely walk the next day. I’ll have to try some training this fall. She has boundless energy and I don’t time to walk her and go for a run…so it would be great to kill two birds with one stone.

        • Obedience school helps, if you don’t have a place to run off-leash with your pup. Once they learn how to heel at a walk, its easy to run with them at heel and they won’t cross up in front of you.

        • If you are able to get her to “heel” when you walk, you should have a pretty easy time getting her to “heel” when you run after a big of training. My dog actually gets a better workout running on leash than off, since it is harder for him to keep pace (he has to aggressively trot next to me, vs ‘gallop’ [do dogs gallop?], and trotting takes more energy).

          Your dog probably wants to spring because it is easier for her that way.

    • You are my hero and my inspiration to set my alarm early enough to run before work tomorrow with no excuses. :)

      I was going to go for a run today because I got to leave work early! yay! but then I got stuck in TWO HOURS of traffic, which meant I got home just in time to scarf some food and get back in the car to head to a previous engagement. When I got home from that it was dark, so I settled for a long walk instead (I will injure myself if I run in the dark. guaranteed.)

  20. I should point out that at almost 6 feet tall, I would be perfectly happy weighing 140, as that’s my high school weight, and I was pretty hot. But I was thinking grand dame in spirit.

    wine for everyone!

  21. i keep forgetting until super late in the day, but i have a question for the dancers on here. I think I am finally going to splurge on ballet classes for myself (going back after 20 yrs, should be amusing), so the dancers have any suggestions for dance shoes/gear brands that are good, but also not gonna drain my bank account? I used to do Capezio back in the day, are they still good, or are there better brands I should look at? Also, any specific website recommendations welcome, too.

    Also, any advice for someone going back to ballet class who’s not in the (ahem) best shape right now, and a million miles from where I used to be when I was actually a regular dancer? I definitely find it hard to do things that I feel like I’m not ‘good’ at, so walking into this class and looking like an idiot is making me a little nervous, but i miss dancing so much, I think I’ve convinced myself to do it anyway. Any pep talks? ;o)

    • Sweet as Soda Pop :

      I am not in the least bit a dancer, but I am taking adult ballet classes, and I LOVE them. I have no rhythm, and I don’t look a thing like a dancer (I’ve got too much curve to be a ballerina), but I DON’T CARE! I go and pirouette and leap and have a blast. I had someone tell me that Capezio is overpriced for what it is, so I have body wrappers tights, and Shasta (?) shoes, as recommended by the local dance shop. Also, I will say that most of the ladies in my class don’t even wear ballet clothes, like tights and leotards. I like the tights, because I’m AMAZED at how well they keep my legs from jiggling. My uniform is usually leotard, shorts (yoga or running), tights, and shoes. I really like the convertible tights, because I can wear them with my flip flops to class, then pull them down to wear my shoes.

      My advice: DO IT! You are sure to have a blast, and learn something fun!

      Sorry for the Ellen caps!

    • Super late, maybe I’ll repost tomorrow;

      Capezio is still a good brand, bloch is great for cheaper tights, sansha is good for shoes.
      Discount dance supply for leotards/shoes/tights! The reviews left on the site are pretty good, note that if someone says an item runs small, it runs SMALL (learned from the pair of booty shorts that barely fit one butt cheek)

      Honestly, the fact that you used to dance at all will put you in the middle range, at least for my class. No one will notice that you’re no “that good”. Everyone else in the class focused on their own progress! You’ll be so happy afterwards so just go for it! :D

    • Try looking at the discount dance website for ballet related stuff. They normally have really good prices on leos and tights. Also, they have a decent selection of long length leos and sizes you don’t normally find in a dance shop.

      With that said, I normally just wear a leo and skirt, or leo, short yoga shorts and tights. A lot of people don’t even wear ballet clothes at all and go with yoga-ish clothes instead. No really judges what you wear, all that matter is you are comfy.

      As far as advice, it will drive you crazy when your brain knows how to do something but you’re body doesn’t anymore. Give it time and your body will be able to pull off a clean triple pirouette. Also, there is always an older grey haired ballerina in the class. She will show you up. Just look in awe.

    • Probably too late for you to see this, but I love it when adults take ballet class! Seconding what everyone else said – just go and have fun, no one cares what you look like. In my head, I’m really good, in real life, probably not so much, but it’s still so fun. And excellent exercise – once I started taking ballet regularly (which means for me just once a week), I really started noticing a difference in my body. My legs look awesome and I also have, like, ab muscles? Not really a six-pack, but you can definitely see muscles there.

      I decided when I started taking classes that I would do leotard and tights instead of yoga clothes, although the others here are right, you see all sorts of variations on these in adult classes. It’s up to you and your comfort level. I have a couple of black leotards (I think Mirella is the brand, I found they had enough compression to hold the girls in place) and black Capezio tights, which just happen to be what the one dance store in my area stocks. They seem pretty sturdy. I have Bloch shoes, no idea why except that’s apparently what I was using 10 years ago, so when I started up again, I just matched the shoe. I think they were $25.

      Be patient with yourself – it will all start coming back and you will have so much fun!

  22. Ooo, do it! You’ll have fun and you’ll probably meet some fun people. Don’t stress about being out of shape – my hobby similarly idolizes the young and lithe, but the adult ranks are full of people in all shapes/sizes/levels/ages just having fun and trying new things.

    For gear, try Discount Dance Supply – they carry a bunch of different brands, and the prices are usually pretty reasonable. I’m partial to Capezio ultra soft tights, but ymmv, of course. Capezio’s still a solid brand, as are Bloch and Sansha.

    Have fun!

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