ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break – White and Black Diamond Hoop

White and Black Diamond HoopI was recently introduced to the shop LooptyHoops, which specializes in hoop earrings — including some lovely huggie earrings (my personal favorite for the office). I'm currently lusting after these white and black diamond hoops — they're sparkly yet understated at the same time, and so much more interesting than the normal boring diamond posts. They're $1,020 at LooptyHoops. White and Black Diamond Hoop P.S. The folks at LooptyLoop are offering a special discount to Corporette readers:  use code “Corporette” (no quotes) to get an additional 11% off (good through the month of December). (L-0)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

117 Comments

  1. Love huggie earrings, wish I had some.

    Just want some advice here about an interview suit. I always wear skirts suits to interviews, but I tend to run cold, and often find with the nerves and extreme air con of law firms I start to get shivers…not a look I want in interviews. Is anyone opposed to me wearing a pants suit to an interview? It is for a litigation position.

    1. Unless the firm has a reputation for being particularly conservative or old fashioned, I think you should wear what you’re comfortable in, as long as the suit is a formal one and your blouse, shoes, and accessories are standard interview attire.

      I’ve received job offers after interviews in skirts/pantyhose, pants, and even peeptoes once! The peeptoes were before I knew better.

  2. I don’t think this is my idea of “huggie” earring, which, to me, should go around and form a circle so that the post isn’t poking me the entire time I hold a phone up to my ear. That kind of “true” huggie earing is my absolute favorite for work, and otherwise. This kind doesn’t usually work for me at all.

    1. Ditto, and that’s all I ever wear in my ears! I checked out the site (which I hadn’t previously heard of) and they do sell some earrings that you and I would consider huggies.

    2. Yes, I think this every time Kat posts her version of “huggies” – they are never huggies.

      On the flip side, if the fact that Kat doesn’t know what huggie earrings are is my biggest complaint about the blog, things are pretty good.

  3. once upon a time I worked for a law firm that has been in the news recently after some really, really bad publicity and is now closing. I was contacted by a journalist with the NYT who wants to interview me about the firm. I told him I would do it on the condition of anonymity and he said it would be off the record.

    is there any other stipulation I should ask for? any advice about handling this sort of thing? I’ll certainly be careful about what I say, I guess I’m just worried about any loop holes I might be missing.

    1. Could you maybe get a statement in writing from him that you are speaking on the condition of anonymity, in case he ‘blows your cover’? I don’t know much about the law, but I wonder if the firm would be able to sue you if you had an agreement with him.

    2. I’d tape record the interview yourself (just in case) and get him to say, in writing or verbally, that this is off the record and/or you will be treated as an anonymous source (these two are not always the same things – be clear on which you are agreeing to). Different journalists have different interpretations of “off the record” – be clear what his is from the outset.

      Generally something is not off the record until you’ve clarified either the whole conversation is or that piece of information is BEFORE the information is revealed.

      Tape recording yourself will let you be aware of any issue with the transcription or quotations aside from general “word-to-text” changes like deleting umms and ahhs.

      Take another look at your employment contract and see if you are explicitly prohibited from doing something like this (anonymous or identified, on or off the record). The likelihood of a closing or closed firm pursuing you for this low, but you want to make sure your bases are covered.

      Take a few seconds before you answer. Awkward silences are okay! Think about your answers before you give them.

      Accept that it is within the realm of possibility that anything you say COULD be attributed to you, though you’d rather it not be.

    3. Can I ask why you agreed to be interviewed? I personally wouldn’t do it. It’s one of those things that isn’t going to get you anything and could possibly do you harm. How could it be harmful? Well, I’m sure your current or future employers wouldn’t appreciate learning that you were willing to say negative things about them to one of the world’s major newspapers, even if you thought you’d be anonymous. In my experience, nothing you ever say to a journalist is ever “off the record” nor are you anonymous.

      2. I don’t think your experience with journalists has been the norm, and I have to say it’s rather offensive. I was a reporter for years and have never seen this violated or heard of instances at competing papers, etc. Instead, I’ve had countless people waste my time giving interviews about noncontroversial topics only to be told after the fact that they would like to be “off the record” or anonymous because they have some weirdo idea of what journalism is like from watching stupid TV shows. Basically, the result is that they’re not used at all since it was requested. Most reporters will do everything they can in advance of the interview to get you on the record and sourced unless there is good reason to do otherwise-which it sounds like fits your situation–and will stick to the obligation. Doing otherwise would absolutely ruin the reporter’s reputation and the paper’s– and then no one will be willing to be interviewed in the future.

        The positive of being interviewed is that you may be helping to shed light on improper practices that are going on behind closed doors. As much as people hate journalists, newspapers and other media perform a valuable service in our society. I’m from Illinois–and I can’t say enough how thankful I’ve been when I’ve seen headlines in the Chicago Trib exposing some of the union favors that have gone on, etc. A lot of that info never would have been possible without talking to former employees. Taxpayers should not only appreciate the journalist but the interviewee involved.

        1. Can I just say I don’t hate journalists? I completely, 110% agree with you about the feeling of thankfulness towards the news media, every time I see the NYT or Post shed some light on shady business/government/what-have-you practices. So, OP, if you think that you have something valuable to add, and specify that you want to remain anonymous–go right ahead.

        2. As another former journalist, agreed. My only additional suggestion would be to clarify for your own peace of mind what off the record means to this reporter.

    4. Assuming this is the same law firm I worked for (as I was also contacted by the NYT), I would simply say not to do the interview. No good will come from it and people who know you will be able to read into the quotes and will be able to figure out they came from you. Steer clear. Move on.

    5. Not a lawyer but someone who deals with the media. I would also say that nothing you saw should be for attribution. Then I would go over with the reporter what they mean by “off the record” and “not for attribution.”

      Also, just a heads up but I work in a press/strategy position for a large and controversial organization and usually we can figure out pretty quickly who said what to the media about an issue. Just because the public doesn’t read your name, don’t think that people close to the issue reading the story can’t figure out who provided what info. I don’t say that to scare you off entirely from commenting if its the firm I think it is, but I just want to make sure you are aware of the risks you are taking.

      1. Okay, I guess this is my crusading liberal side coming out–but why is everyone saying that no good can come from helping to expose a business’s unsavory practices? I understand wanting to CYourOwnA. At the same time, though, if no one ever spoke out against their employers because they were more concerned with their bank account than with doing what was right or moral…well, I think we had a lovely example of what happens on Wall Street, circa 2008.

        I’m really not trying to start a comment snark war here, but I just felt it was important to voice a dissenting opinion for the OP on this.

        1. I think there is a distinction when the company is already closing there is less of a need to speak out i think

          1. Unless the people working at that company who contibuted/caused the unsavoury practices are just jumping to other companies. Then they might do the same stuff in a different company.

    6. Without addressing whether or not you should do it, two things:

      1. You can choose/help choose the “anonymous” name (i.e. “a former employee” or “an individual with knowledge of the company”), so talk to the reporter about exactly how you would like to be represented.

      2. Ask to see a copy of the article before publication and compare it with your own notes/recording on the conversation. If you are quoted inaccurately, get the reporter to change it.

      1. Most newspapers have policies against showing articles in advance. (At least that was my experience 15 years or so ago and what was taught in J-school.) Reporters often will run over quotes with you prior to publishing, however. Definitely ask if you can do that.

        1. Another former reporter, again. And agreeing again. But just want to say that be mindful that going over quotes with the reporter is not the same thing as changing your quotes. In my experience, going over quotes pre-publication was done with sources such as yourself who were not used to being quoted and it was done as a courtesy. It is not an opportunity to reword or alter a quote so you sound more articulate or more like you want to sound or something along those lines.

    7. Just to play devil’s advocate, I think that free press is a wonderful, wonderful thing and crucial to our democracy. Do what you can to protect your interests and answer carefully (as others have noted), but kudos to you for considering this interview.

    8. I am a former newspaper reporter, and I would NOT do the interview. I can’t think of anything good that can come of it. Remember, after you speak, you have no control over what is published.

    9. I was interviewed about an extremely painful topic for a very well known magazine, and almost fifteen years later, I am still horrified by the behavior of the reporter and the fact that I didn’t do more to protect myself or others who would read the piece. Unfortunately, I was too young to realize the sort of person I was dealing with.

      If you are still considering it, I would research the journalist as much as possible. Just like in any other profession, not all journalists are created equal or as ethical as one would hope.

  4. Anyone here in Boston witness the flash of light and loud boom? We’re over by South Station. Apparently, a seagull was electrocuted.

    In other news, my office Holiday party is tonight. I’m looking forward to critiquing the trashy outfits the younger dates will be wearing. Also, my boss will not be attending. Yay.

    1. Please share some of those trashy outfits with us tomorrow. I for one would love to hear :).

  5. thanks for the tip and the discount, Kat! 11% off? (not 10%)? Ok, we’ll take it!

  6. I think Ellen has invaded the bathroom at work. We have some ultra paranoid woman who places long pieces of toilet paper on the cracks of all the stall doors. Apparently someone put up a note about how she’d be taking the TP down for hygiene reasons. I did not get to see that gem, but the Ellen wrote a classic response about how it was NOT unsanitary to put CLEAN toilet paper on the cracks if facilities WON’T fill in the cracks with a more permanent solution.

    I have to say, I cannot wait for the next episode in the saga. I suggested some of us write a letter about how her self esteem is so high that she thinks everyone wants to stare at her in the restroom (clearly an Ellen issue), but no one else was on board.

    1. This sounds like a great submission to www [dot] passiveaggressivenotes [dot] com. Oh the many hours wasted on that blog…

  7. I just spent waaay too much time looking at the earrings on that site. +1 for small hoops.

  8. Does anyone know a good (or even decent) joke? I’m crabby and looking out into a 3:30 sunset isn’t helping.

    2. I only really know chemistry jokes – are those any good?

      Two atoms walk into a bar. They sit down, order a drink. The first atom turns to the second and says “You know, I think I’ve lost an electron”.
      The second atom says, ” Oh, really? Are you sure?”
      The first atoms says, “Yup. I’m positive.”

      ba dum ching!

        1. Neutron walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. The bartender hands the neutron his drink and the neutron asks “What do I owe you?” The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”

          2. mamabear, there’s a third one in the same vein that I heard recently – and I can’t remember it. Or where I heard it. Or who told me. It’s bugging me now. But enjoy the first one!

      3. Comic sans walks into a bar and the bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve your type”.

        1. Ugh. I wouldn’t, either (and nor would I apologize! what was the bartender thinking). I like this one :)

      4. Well if we’re doing nerdy jokes, i’ll throw out my 10th grade biology teacher’s favorite joke:

        A mushroom is chatting up a woman at the bar and asks her out. She declines. He says, “Why not, I’m a fun guy!”
        (works best if said out loud)

        1. Ha, that reminds me of a joke my biology teacher told before every test. Unfortunately, I think you have to be a teacher to use this one.

          “This is not a quiz, this is a test. Therefore, I’d better not see any quizzical looks, but t_stical looks are ok.”

      5. Oh, oh, if we’re doing nerdy jokes, I want in!

        Heisenberg is driving when he’s pulled over by a cop. The policeman asks if he knows how fast he was going, and he replies “No, but I know where I am.”

      6. Where did the Romans keep their armies? In their sleevies. (Credit to my high school religion teacher.)

    3. (ahem) Rene Descartes walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. When he’s finished, the bartender asks him if he’d like another. Descartes says “I think not.” And disappears.

    4. Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street?

      One of them was a salted.

      2. Darn it, you stole my joke! It works best when you tell it out loud and laugh like it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard. :)

      1. ha! I just watched that with my friend and and her lil’ sis this weekend. Love it.

    7. It’s been a crazy week at work. I’ve missed you all!!!
      I only know really bad jokes so here goes:
      What do you call a rapper who studied classical music?
      Yo Yo Ma Ma!

    10. A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
      While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing
      God, she asked, ‘Is my time up?’

      God said, ‘No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.’

      Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement, boob job, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.

      After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by a car.

      Arriving in front of God, she demanded, ‘I thought you said I had another
      40 years? Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of that car?’

      God replied, ‘Girrrlllllll, I didn’t even recognize you!’

      2. This was good enough that I read it out loud to my husband. He gave it a rim shot :-)

    11. nerdy jokes stolen from mcsweeney’s:

      Seven Bar Jokes
      Involving Grammar
      and Punctuation.
      BY Eric K. Auld
      – – – –

      1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

      2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

      3. A question mark walks into a bar?

      4. Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.

      5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

      6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

      7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

      3. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

        My new favorite joke. Simply awesome.

    13. Love Garrison Keillor’s Pretty Good Joke Book, and these are two of my favorites (one more work appropriate than the other):

      Bert asked Ernie, “Hey Ernie, would you like some ice cream?” Ernie replied “Sure, Bert.” (as with others, best when said out loud).

      What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
      Beer nuts are $1.79 and deer nuts are under a buck.

      1. My favorite of all time.

        Two cannibals were sitting in a jungle, eating a clown.
        One looked at the other and asked, “Does this taste funny to you?”

  9. Ooh, I love these. Of course on the site I love then $2100 diamond pave huggies even more.

  10. I think I just got really snarked at. (3 months into my first real person job) I missed an email asking for help setting something up and it was set up by the time I read it so I didn’t follow up like oh sorry I didn’t see the email. Should I follow up now after the snarky comment? Or just pretend it didn’t happen?

    2. I would probably let it go. Responding to snark is not usually productive in my experience. However, I would definitely respond if the snarky person were my boss or very senior to me. Also, if your email-checking habits are different from what the sender may have expected, you might want to clarify that (for example, one of my colleagues opens her mail every hour, but she lets the people who work with her know that her door is open and she’ll answer the phone if you need to reach her immediately).

      1. No I missed it by 10 minutes there was not a big window. Snarky person isn’t even in my department, just feeling a little hurt I guess. (Is the working world not all sunshines and everyone is nice? ha)

        1. just to clarify … someone emailed you asking for help on a task, and by the time you got the email, the task was done, so you didn’t respond at all? and then, the same someone sent you the snarky email?

          i agree with others that you don’t need to respond to the snarkiness. but, in general, a good CYA policy when you’re starting out is to just respond to all email requests (even the ones that are no longer timely) so people know you’re responsive, as opposed to someone who just isn’t checking or not bothering to reply. “I’m sorry I didn’t see this, but I see that the doc has been filed. Happy to help next time.” etc.

          1. Yeah it was setting up for a birthday party I’m on a committe. So person sent it to a group, and then I got “thanks for your help today” and I showed confusion because I thought I was friendly with this person. The task was complete in about 8 minutes because I went to the spot and it was all set up.

            In retrospect I prob should have sent an email I guess but I have contributed on other days plenty

          2. geez, it was for a birthday party? annoying. anyway it doesn’t change what i said above but that’s pretty trivial and petty.

    3. And…was the comment really that snarky? Or could it be read in more charitable light? Tone can be hard to convey in an email, so its possible you are attributing something that isn’t there. Which is another reason to not respond and just try to do better next time.

      1. it was in person… I’m like 90% sure but I was so confused. I def didn’t handle it well I think I looked like a sad confused puppy.. not my best moment

        1. I think looking like a sad confused puppy might make her think you didn’t get it. If this all happened just a little bit ago, I don’t think it would hurt to send a quick apology email saying that you didn’t see the original request until it was already set up. If its been over an hour, then it would probably be weird.

    4. Is she Angela from “The Office”? That’s such a passive aggressive comment; I’d ignore it. Maybe said person was having a bad day, but still no excuse for acting like a jerk.

  11. Wow, thanks for introducing me to that site! A couple of years ago I lost one (it is always just one!) of my favorite tiny little gold endless hoop earrings and have hunted everywhere ever since for a replacement and was ready to believe no one made these anymore . . . but lo! Loopty Hoops has gold and silver and white gold and all in various sizes! I love wearing these on vacation because they are simple and I can wear them 24/7 without needing to remove them at night (no post or anything to just into your head). Just bought three pairs – two silver and one gold, all in different sizes.

  12. I need to vent:
    First day on a new job– the company has two different office locations with different areas of specialization at each location. I told everyone throughout the months-long hiring process that I wanted to work at location A, which specializes in my area of expertise/interest (and is also a shorter commute), and accepted the job only on that condition. DH received a job offer from the same company last week, and apparently the company got ahead of themselves and assumed he would accept it. His position would be located at location B.

    Today at our first meeting, the manager told me he planned to put me on a team at location B doing work in field where I have little experience and zero interest. When I replied that I had accepted the job with the understanding that I would be working in location A on XYZ project, he actually said to me “Well, your hubby will be working at location B so we thought we would move you over there.” Direct quote, no further justification that he thought it would be a good opportunity for me or they’d like someone with my experience on the other project, just that my career path is dictated by the location of a job “my hubby” hasn’t even accepted yet!! If looks could kill, the manager would be dead. As politely as I could (self-awareness here, I could have done better. It was very terse.), I informed him that my husband had not yet accepted that position, and even so, it has no bearing on my career choices. Unfortunately, I had to do this in front of a couple of coworkers, including another manager. Not a great first impression for me.

    After the other employees left, I straightened the situation out and will be working at location A as I wanted, but I am still seething just thinking about it. I’m sure the manager thought it might be a nice gesture to have us working at the same site, but I’m also massively offended at the implication that working in the same building as my husband is more important than my career trajectory. And now this guy is my boss.

    Luckily those jokes above cheered me up a little. :)

    2. that’s a rough start for sure. to give the manager the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he wasn’t made aware of the preferences you had expressed during your interview due to lack of communication within the company (and that’s not great either, but it’s not necessarily just him being … sexist or what have you).

      Anyway, now that he’s your new boss, I would just consider that you dodged a bullet and make sure you prove that you belong in location A doing the related work. Which I’m sure you will. Good luck.

    3. Is Location B commutable? As someone who has done a long-distance marriage, it is not ideal. And I do think that most people prioritize their marriage over their careers, which might be what your boss assumed when he thought you would want a job at location B. (But if location B is commutable, then yeah he was being a jerk.)

      Horrible situation,though it sounds like you handled it OK. Good luck!

      1. No it’s not a long distance marriage — they’re 20 minutes’ drive apart. And he knew my preference; I’d talked to him during the hiring process. Maybe he forgot, though… I’m not sure how much better it is to just not pay attention than it is to know and ignore. Either way, he’s out of the office the rest of the week so at least I have a chance to cool down before I have to see him again.

  13. Question: How do you correct someone who habitually misspells your name?

    I feel that one particular opposing counsel that I deal with on a semi-regular basis goes out of his/her way to misspell my name in correspondence. Nevermind that he/she has seen my name spelled correctly in countless court pleadings, letters, e-mails, etc. It is as if he/she is doing this on purpose to belittle me. It happened again today in a letter that I received from him/her. Has this happened to anyone else? Should I just get over it?

    FWIW, my first name is fairly common with more than one accepted spelling. My last name is obscure and often mispronounced. This person is misspelling BOTH.

    1. Oh my gosh, I . hate . that . I have a similarly common name with two spellings – maybe the same name – and I really hate it when people misspell it repeatedly, particularly in an email chain. It’s like – seriously – divert your eyes up ONE INCH to see how I spell my name.

      I’m looking forward to the answers.

    2. I would correct them, politely, firmly, without assuming that they are belittling you or in any way doing anything disrespectful. Do it each time they misspell your name. You’re perfectly within your rights to ask that your name be spelled correctly. Especially since you work with legal docs etc. all the time!

      Whether or not the person is belittling you (which seems unlikely – he/she’s is probably just flaking, and maybe not prioritizing details as they should), I’ve found it’s never helpful to even consider the possibility. That basically starts a small, subconscious spark of resentment that can grow into a flame with the slightest provocation, and more likely it’s just a misunderstanding.

    3. I just roll my eyes and ignore.

      I have a name with different accepted spellings but mine is the less common spelling (think Katie vs Katy), but people will know me for years and don’t get it. Sometimes, I correct them and they forget. So I have given it up.

      On the plus side, OC looks like a total buffoon on the email strings to anyone else who notices (I always notice when people do this to others, and it colours my opinion of that person).

    4. I’d say that you’re right – he/she is more than likely doing it on purpose. Probably to get under your skin. It’s petty, but if you can (and I have opposing counsel from hell right now, so I can sympathize), try and let it roll off your back.

      If it help, rage to your husband/SO/friend about what a horrible person opposing counsel is when you’re home at night. That’s my chosen tactic.

    5. Dear Pete Peave,
      Next time you see this opposing person in person, make a point of staring at his/ her shoes for a good amount of time. It works best if you can raise an eyebrow while doing this. Works every time.

    6. This happens to me often. My name has two common spellings and one not so common but still out there spelling. Even the judge I clerked for did this all the time. It’s annoying (especially in emails where the correct spelling is right in front of them), but I wouldn’t say anything- it will probably just make you look petty. Not that you’re petty for bring bothered, but I don’t think there’s a way to bring it up that doesn’t reflect poorly on you for being unable to let it go.

      Why do you think he’s doing it on purpose? That seems unlikely to me, unless he knows that it bothers you when people spell your name wrong.

    7. Let it slide. My first name is uncommon (though a foreign language version is common), and my last name lends itself to an extra letter or two in order to sound like a proper surname. Something gets misspelled and/or mispronounced all the time, even when they have my letterhead or email right in front of them. Addressing it just makes you seem petty or neurotic. Some people are mean, and some are sloppy or unconcerned about these things.

    8. If it happens repeatedly (and you suspect it’s deliberate), I’d mis-spell his name and see what reaction you get….

      Obviously I do not take the high road:)

    9. I’m a really, really bad speller, and I have a difficult time even with very common names. So, if that person is like me, I would say that it’s not personal/intentional, and correcting it might not make a difference. (For example, for me at least, if your name was Rachel, and I had misspelled it Racheal, and you corrected me, a week later I’d start to write Rachel and then think, no, it was Racheal, or something. Maybe I’d be able to look it up, but I have to admit that that’s usually an extra step that I just don’t take unless I’m really trying to make an impression.)

      As someone with a very difficult last name who gets a lot of misspelling and mispronounciations herself, I would just let it go, or very politely correct it (if it’s something formal that might be seen by others).

  14. Question for you ladies. When you wear a shrunken or just shorter jacket, do you think it’s okay to have a few inches of your untucked shirt showing, or do you think that looks juvenile? I’m conflicted, but when I tuck in my shirt and my jacket hits right at my waist band, I think it’s unflattering. Thoughts?

    3. I think untucked and longer than the jacket is only ok for a casual office, a casual Friday or someone in a creative/fashion field. In a business casual office, like most law firms, it looks to college-y.

    4. I think it depends on the overall shape. It’s definitely a more casual look, but I don’t think it’s too casual for most situations. The shirt has to lay just right, and be just the right length, to work, though. (I have the same it looks weird when I tuck problems, and I do this a lot, usually with shirts that have some stretch and lie smoothly over my hip.)

    2. I have a similar recipe pinned on Pinterest and have been thinking about trying it this weekend. Or trying double chocolate brownies with caramel frosting, or Bunkster’s peppermint bark… I think I have a baking addiction.

  16. I hear and read everywhere that very dark hair with pale skin is too harsh. This is, unfortunately, my case. As I now have a few white/gray hair in addition, I’m thinking about coloring my hair but have trouble finding inspiration that I can relate too – they are either celebs, teenagers, or just too out there.

    Do you know of any website/links where I could find pictures to show to my hairdresser ? Any first-hand advice ? I’ve never colored my hair before, except red highlights as a teenager !

    A bit more information : I’d like something that looks as “natural” as possible, and professionnal of course. My hair a very very dark brown that usually looks black. It’s shoulder length, straight and healthy, although a bit flat. I have a few grey hair. My skin is very pale and uneven with yellow-ish undertones, and my eyes are medium brown.

    Thank you in advance !

    1. I think pale skin with naturally dark hair is very striking. Why would you want to change it because you read something that said it is too harsh? Yes, it often looks off when a person who naturally has blonde or red hair goes black, but if you like your natural color, why change it? It’s going to require a lot more upkeep on your part if you try to lighten your hair, especially since you’ll likely have much darker eyebrows.

    2. I don’t know how old you are, but they say as you age the the dark hair isn’t as flattering. If you have good skin, I personally love the dark hair pale skin (ala Snow White) look. My mom’s 53 and still pulls off the look (she has a few greys on top but leaves them).

      Demi/Semi permenant dyes tend to come out darker, so I would use a color one shade lighter than your natural color (e.g. if natural color is back use dark brown) and pick an undertone that flatter’s your coloring. A hairdresser should be able to direct you to a good choice, but maybe try out one of those hair color selectors at clairol or loreal’s website.

    3. I’m 32 and look older.
      I agree that dark hair with pale skin is beautiful – my 25-year-old SIL has a similar coloring and it’s gorgeous – but I don’t have good skin and have a harsh, bony face. I’d like to soften it a bit !

      The eyebrows are a problem. I haven’t thought about it …

      My hairdresser is nice but I haven’t seen enough of her work to trust her completely – my city is a style wasteland : I’ve talked with a couple of hairstylists, they always recommend blonde streaks and using a dark foundation to fake my lack of tan.

      I’ll have a look at the clairol and loreal websites !

      1. ick the fake tan and blond highlights on black hair! If you stay within the browns I don’t think your eyebrows would be a problem.

        If you’re warm (judging from yellow skin tones, do you look better in silver or gold jewelry?) look for chestnut/chocolate/mahagoney shades. Maybe when Julia Roberts was brunette, or Anne Hathaway. If your hair is black a dark/medium brown should perk up the skin. I notice whenever I have blackish hair over the mediumish browns I dye it I have to wear a lot more make up to look good, although when I’m all done up I do love the black hair!

        FWIW I have natural dark brown/black hair; warm brown/hazel eyes, and mediumish skin with yellow undertones, and I like to use browns in the shades 4-6 range (dark,medium or light brown, although the 6s dont’ come out too light on me) in the warm family, but not golden (just a personal preference). They usually have words like bronze, copper, mocha or mahagoney in the name.

    4. as an asian i think pale skin and dark hair is just fine, whatever your age. many of us have that combination (or strive for it, as evidenced by all the skin-lightening products out there) and if you like your hair as is – sounds like it’s healthy, in good condition, and lovely – i wouldn’t go dyeing it because of what other people say. that’s a long, expensive road that can have no end. I’m not assuming you’re asian, btw – just saying.

      i think that you actually might get more mileage out of better skin care. the uneven-ness you mention probably probably shows more because your skin is so pale. an investment in some good quality products will even out the tone and let it glow. pale glowing skin is gorgeous. the combo of that with your dark hair would be beautiful. and compared to the cost of regular hair coloring, skincare is a good investment.

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