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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 44 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Gramercy Cap Oxfords

Coffee Break

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Cole Haan Gramercy Cap Oxford | CorporetteI'm not usually a fan of oxfords, but they're growing on me — they certainly look cute with many of the ankle pants styles that are out right now. I was shopping and spied these, and was absolutely shocked by how lightweight they are; my son's Crocs may weigh more. I didn't stop to try them on, but they've been on my mind ever since — I may have to go back or just order them for myself. The shoes also come in tons of other colors (some with crazy deals and lucky sizes): black, blue, gold metallic, dark silver metallic, rose gold metallic, sandstone, fatigue green, “ironstone lizard,” “tawny port,” dusty rose, and white. The pictured shoes are $198 at Amazon and Cole Haan. Cole Haan Gramercy Cap Oxfords A few lower-priced options are here, here, and here. This shoe comes in wide sizes, and this one in narrow and wide sizes. (L-all)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Has anyone rented a wedding dress in the US before? Is this even a possibility and if so, where can I look?

  2. Gail the Goldfish

    I need shopping help. I’m looking for a pair of nude-for-me (me being pretty pale) plain pumps, under 3 inches (pref. about 2.5″), almond or round toed, regular (not patent) leather, under $150. This pair from Brooks Brothers is about perfect, but they’re $300. Anyone seen anything cheaper lately? (in a size 8. I’ve seen some options, but they’ve all been sold out of my size and anything close to it):

    http://www.brooksbrothers.com/Leather-Pumps/WF00379,default,pd.html?dwvar_WF00379_Color=IVOR&contentpos=6&cgid=0378

  3. Anon

    I’ve just moved to a major city where I know no one but my coworkers (relocation from a branch office to corporate HQ). I’m single and said goodbye to my roommate of 8 years, so I’m living on my own for the first time ever.

    Fortunately I’m in a fantastic neighborhood with lots of shops and restaurants to get me outside and active, but I could use suggestions/advice for making friends in a new city. (I’ve stopped attending the church I grew up in, and aside from church and school I’ve realized I have no idea how to meet people!) How did you build up your social life after a move?

    • Rave -- Brooks Brothers shoes

      I am only moderately sporty, but I joined a tennis league (as a 2.5 player at first) to have fun and meet people. And if none of the above, to get some exercise and have a schedule for something other than work. I was in a league and was a substitute player in a mixed doubles league and had a good time. No BFFs, but lots of new people who might be up for a beer after / dinner / similar interests.

      Also, Junior League (esp. if you are in DC) or any other group volunteer activity. Alumni groups can be good, too.

    • TravelMoreRoads

      Here’s a quick adjustment to increase opportunities to meet new people – when you go out to eat, even with someone else, sit at the restaurant bar. It’s more social than a table so it’s easier to talk to other people. It works well for travel and getting to know a new place. Should work out well for you since you have so many restaurants near you! http://travelmoreroads.com/sit-at-the-bar/

      You can also find a new activity to try (sport, hobby, league, gym) where you can interact with others at the same time. Many cities have “meet up groups” to get to know new people. Also, ask friends (and have them ask their friends) who they know in the areas and if they can introduce you. I actually have three unrelated friends all coincidentally moving to the same city this summer, so I’m putting together an email to introduce them all so they can explore their new home together and expand their contacts right away.

      Sounds exciting, best of luck!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      If you wear headphones, take them out when you are at the gym, a coffee shop, walking from point A to point B, on public transit, etc. No one is going to strike up a conversation with you if you have your earbuds in. People might start making small talk (“wow, this place is busy today”) if you don’t have them in.

    • CountC

      Social sports! It’s how I made friends in my new town my first year in law school outside of school. Those friends ended up leading to meeting new people, and the whole thing snowballed. Interestingly enough, I am more acquaintances with those people now, but it was a great starting point.

      Also look to see if there are any young professionals groups around. My town has a very active one that tends to err on the side of social events, so it’s a great way to meet people, do community service, or go to a lot of happy hours (or both).

      You may also meet people at work :) I met my bff at work two jobs ago!

    • espresso bean

      Everyone has already posted some great ideas. Meetup groups and classes and sports and alumni groups are perfect for this kind of thing. Network with your existing friends in other cities and see if they know anyone in your new city that they can introduce you to. I’ve set up my friends on friend dates in situations like this, and in several cases, they ended up really hitting it off!

      Try volunteer activities (Volunteer Match is great for getting started) for an easy way to connect with like-minded people. See if there’s a community garden you can get involved with.

      Good luck!

    • TBK

      Be very proactive. My husband is great at this (I’m less great). When he meets someone he’s interested in getting to know, he take the initiative to invite them out to do something. They almost always say yes. He follows up a few days later with a “hey, that was fun let’s get together again soon” email. In a couple of weeks, if he hasn’t heard from them, he invites them out again. Repeat. Eventually the other person typically reaches out first with an invitation, but some friends of his are always up for anything he’s willing to plan, but never plan or reach out themselves. And he just goes with that. I’m far more likely to think “I’ve initiated the last two times. If she doesn’t invite me to do something she must not like me.” But my husband feels like pretty much all adults are lonely at some level. Everyone nowadays has fewer connections than they’d like (especially in cities) and wants to be invited out more often than they are. So he just assumes most people are open to being invited out places. And honestly he’s right. He has a terrific circle of friends and can pretty much find someone to hang out with whenever he’s free to hang out.

      • TO Lawyer

        I really like your husband’s attitude. Actually my boyfriend is really similar but I can’t bring myself to do the same. I think I have too much insecurity to put myself out there all the time but it seems to work out great if you can do it!

    • Anonymous

      If you are religious, find a church that you like and start going. I was in a somewhat similar position about 2 years ago but in a small town. I was abit skeptical of church at first but I have managed to make new friends that way. The one I attend has a group called “Young adults” that has a monthly game night i.e. board games and sometimes Wii. They are people in their twenties and thirties. I have also made friends who are older than me by attending other church events e.g picnics etc.

      Also meetup.com, attend events at theatres, museums. Join a book club or running club. I’m an introvert but I have managed to expand my social circle using some of these ideas. It works.

    • Senior Attorney

      You’ve already gotten some great ideas, so I’ll just add this: I got some fun personal calling cards printed up with my name, cell phone number, and email address. When I meet someone I’d like to stay in touch with, I give them my personal card. It just seems more fun than handing out business cards in social situations.

  4. anon

    Wish I could go home and work from home today. :(

    I’m at a satellite office so I’m not even around my coworkers.

    Help me get through the rest of this afternoon people.

  5. Grad school savings

    A few grad school related questions for the hive – I am thinking of going to graduate school (MBA) in the next 2-4 years and have just started looking into savings vehicles such as 529 plans, etc. I will likely be in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to pay for the majority of my tuition and living expenses (estimating about $200k) with savings by the time I am going to be attending school. However, I would probably be left with very minimal savings, besides what I currently have saved up in retirement accounts.

    – What sort of savings vehicles did you consider when you were looking into grad school?
    – Thoughts on savings vs. loans split, even if you were able to finance tuition entirely with cash on hand?
    – Any other advice?

    Thanks very much in advance, ladies!

    • Anonymous

      Of course spend down your savings! There’s no way you’re earning more on them than the interest on loans.

      • Grad school savings

        It’s just hard to stomach fully liquidating my savings / investments and starting from zero again… I guess that is the trade off. Not sure if it changes the answer but over the last few years (thanks to the market), my investments have definitely returned well over the 5-10% I had ball parked for interest… Am I overthinking it?

        • Anonymous

          I would keep your investments that are earning more than the loan rate. I think the rates on Staffords and Grad PLUS loans (should you exceed your Stafford amount) are just under 6% and 7%, or you can do a private loan through Sofi/Common Bond for around 4% variable. It sounds like your investments are earning comfortably more than that.

          I’m also risk averse and I would keep at least 3 months of liquid emergency savings in a vanilla account even if it means taking out loans and paying loan interest in excess of what the savings earns. I personally consider the interest a worthwhile expense to have that safety net if something were to happen between graduation and earning a paycheck that would build the savings back up–it’s a lot easier to get a student loan than just a personal loan if you really needed cash, and you have the ability to take out the extra loan money in spurts so that it doesn’t accrue interest the entire time (example, I borrowed additional GradPlus money the month before graduation to serve as my bar stipend–there’s some cutoff before graduation, but it’s not the beginning of the year or semester). YMMV if you have family who could support you if things got dire. I don’t, which affects what I would do in this situation.

      • NYC Anon

        I completely 100% disagree. I refinanced my law school loans and am now only paying 2-3% on them. After a couple years of working I have more than enough savings to pay off my loans completely, but instead only pay the minimum each month. I am making much more than 2-3% average on my investments — plus the added benefit of having liquidity — so it makes no sense for me to pay off my loans. If you’re not even in school yet it makes even more sense to favor keeping savings, because you typically do not start accruing interest when you’re in school. At the very least, take out loans and pay them off when you graduate, if having the loan balance is worrying you. My answer only changes if you’re able to get some kind of tax benefit from paying your tuition directly instead of through loans.

    • Anon

      Probably a little late on this – but have you looked at possibly switching jobs to a university? Usually there is a tuition benefit after about a year of working so you can go at a much cheaper rate. Also, you are getting paid to work while going to a night MBA program. I know Georgetown’s is free (if you can get into the various programs) after one year of full time work at GU.

      But regardless, I definitely agree with taking out a loan and not using your savings. If they are in retirement accounts there could be some serious tax penalties for taking that out early. Also pull out of investments will create taxable events, which you can avoid by taking out loans. If you get out of grad school and decide you don’t want the loan payments then just pay it off post-school. Besides, you will hopefully have a super awesome job out of Grad school and the loan payments might not be so painful then.

      Good luck!

      • Anonymous

        You didn’t ask for this specifically, but be sure the MBA will get you what you want. For at least my corner of finance (which is a specialty transactional area), it is not as valuable as it used to be. If you get one, it should be very highly ranked.

  6. bar prep motivation

    The Louisiana bar is in 13 days [yikes]–anyone have any tips to help me power through this last week and a half? I am torn between being glad that Louisiana is a week earlier than everywhere else so I will be done sooner and desperately wishing I had that extra week of study time. I am starting to get tired, but I know this is when I really need to kick it into high gear and not give up. Any advice on what you found the most productive way to study for the last couple days before the exam?

    • Anonymous

      The last couple days? I reviewed my outline once or twice and that’s it. You need to stay awake and alert for the exam. I would focus on rest, eating healthy, and making sure you’re not going crazy. If you’ve been prepping all along you don’t need to cram now.

      • anon

        sleep > craming at that point (if you have been doing the work all along). I had a hard time studying the last two weeks because I felt like I knew my flashcards by heart and was going through the motions for no reason. I spent a lot of time finishing up questions that I hadn’t done in my practice courses (barbri) and then looking up why I got the answers wrong. as long as i did something each day, maybe reviewed my flashcards once, and did some practice questions. i felt like i was prepared based on where barbri said i should be scoring at that point in time, so I tried not to stress too much. i also took the state portion of the bar exam the day before i started the multistate portion and spent the day prior to that craming for my second state exam, so I really think you can take some time off (or light review) beforehand.

      • bar prep motivation

        I’m sort of debating if I should leave some essays I haven’t done yet to review in the final days or if it is better to do them sooner and learn what I did wrong and then just save flashcards/reviewing outlines for the last few days.

        • AIMS

          I found it more helpful to just outline exam model answers. Read the question, think through what you would write to make sure that you spotted the issues and then outline the model answers. There’s a formula to them and I think you can get the hang of it by just outlining what they give you.

          Also, do as many hard multiple choice questions as you can. I remember I had the PMBR book of questions and the BarBri one and the PMBR book had tougher questions so I just did those (I think I remember BarBri also had different categories of hard vs. easy, but maybe not). It was discouraging but I kept reminding myself the real test would be easier. I think my last practice test I did terribly, and yet I did fine on the actual exam.

          This, plus reviewing my outlines, is what I would do now if I were you. But a few days before the actual exams I would focus on sleeping and not freaking out. Do not study day before the exam or in between the days. Make sure you have a good healthy breakfast and bring a lunch that won’t make you sluggish. You don’t have to get an A, you just have to pass. Good luck!

  7. AIMS

    Maine question. We’re going to be driving through Portland, Maine at the end of the month and were planning to spend a night in town but most places seem to already be booked (it’s a Friday night) and the few that aren’t are on the “more than we want to spend” side. Not familiar with the area, but is there a town nearby that we should visit instead? Thanks!

    • Gigi

      Maybe you could look into staying nearby and still hit Portland?

      If so, try South Portland. You can go out in Portland and SoPo is just a cab ride away. You could try airbnb in the surrounding towns (Westbrook, Falmouth, Cumberland), but most of the hotels are concentrated in Portland-South Portland. Portland is definitely worth a visit, its a great small city.

    • Josie Pye

      +1 on Portsmouth. My husband and I stayed at Wentworth by the Sea, which is a big, beautiful, rambling hotel (not too expensive, although it’s now owned by Marriott so we used points) on New Castle Island right outside Portsmouth. If you have some time that day, I’d also recommend walking around New Castle island. The houses on the harbor area are from the early 1600s, and the beach is awesome and not crowded.

  8. intern

    If my supervisor (probably 5-7 years out of school) send me super casual and slang-y IM’s and emails, how formal should I be?

    • Anna

      This may vary depending on the industry, but I’d say keep it one notch more formal than the supervisor, as long as that’s still formal enough that you wouldn’t be embarrassed if your boss’s boss read anything you wrote.

  9. Anon

    Bit of a novella here–just need help with working with an information hoarder.

    I work in transactional law, and my supervisor, who is just a smidge more senior than me (but I am more experienced) _constantly_ doesn’t copy me on emails, and is a classic information hoarder. I can’t really seem to fix this, even though I tried (i) polite follow up emails: “Please let me know if the XYZ document needs any changes before it goes out” (even though I know it likely went out); (ii) outright asking: “Did the XYZ document go out?” and (iii) setting up meetings (or even just informal stop-bys) to check on the status of things.

    This is not me being a busybody–I’m not getting feedback on my work product, don’t know what the client is talking about when they respond to chains I wasn’t on (client copies me!) and I am constantly one step behind with the senior associate because the guy in the middle isn’t communicating (on purpose).

    Also, to make this worse, the withholder is my mentor, so he’s supposed to helpful to me, but is anything but.

    And yes, the withholder is a bit threatened by me because I am more experienced. I am very ginger about this and do not rub it in his face at all, but he is uncomfortable, and I’m not about to pretend I don’t know how to do a deal or what next steps are or what’s missing to placate his insecurities. I still need to do a good job, even if he constantly sabotages my efforts. Ugh.

    Seriously, has anyone successfully dealt with an information hoarder/bad communicator?

    • Anonymous

      Sorry to say, I’ve not been able to break through with my information hoarder. Mine is a little more institutionally driven, but we’re small so people could knock it off if they wanted to. My approach is the high road, making sure I’m not hoarding for *my* team (even if it’s to my detriment politically).

  10. Lisa

    For anyone paying attention, these oxfords are great shoes:). I had a pair, they were a little large, I gave them to my daughter. So they run large, but are wonderful.

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