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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 168 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Dress with Contrast Skirt

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COS Dress with Contrast Skirt | Corporette

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This week of TPS reports comes to you from Stephanie Rahlfs of Adventures in the Stiletto Jungle, who also shared a week of her picks back in 2011. Welcome back, Stephanie!

If you've spent any quality shopping time in Europe, Asia, or the Middle East in the past few years you've likely run into COS. This super popular chain store known for affordable high-design basics has developed a cult-like following that is reminiscent of H&M in the early 2000s. The COS fever is about to hit the States hard. They opened an online store for U.S. shoppers in May; an NYC bricks-and-mortar location is in the works.

Although their offerings are mostly casual, there are many office-appropriate blouses, trousers, and dresses available at COS. I'm particularly fond of this Dress with Contrast Skirt, in the not-so-contrasting navy color option. Although it's hard to see without a close-up, the skirt has a slightly different texture than the top portion, which adds a stylish element that won't be too distracting for work. If you're into more colorful workwear, it's also available in a pink and beige colorblock option. It's $135.00 at COS. COS Dress with Contrast Skirt

Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

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Comments

  1. Cb

    That’s gorgeous. I’m not familiar with the brand but they have a shop one city over, must check it out next time I’m there.

    • Flying Squirrel

      I love this pick as well! And the intro to a new (affordable) store. Any chance anyone has a sense of sizing? Is the size guide accurate (not that with my post-partum body I actually know what my size will be in 2 weeks)?

    • Steph @ Stiletto Jungle

      I’m excited I had the opportunity to introduce everyone to COS! It’s definitely one of my favorite stores.

      As for fit, I’ve found that, similar to H&M, it runs just slightly small. I’m 5’8″, 118 lbs., and not at all curvy. I usually wear an XS or S/ size 2. At COS, it’s more like S or M/ 2 or 4, depending on whether the piece is more body-con or relaxed. I suggest sizing up one size if you are unsure.

  2. Medic Maggie

    My baby is 4 today. We are done, but I can’t help feeling nostalgic and wishing for that time back/again. It is so much more traumatic that my youngest turned 4, than my oldest being 6. That is all.

    I’m not so sure about this dress. I feel like the high neck and boxy sleeves make it a little school-marm-ish, but the skirt is perfect. I am growing to love skirts and dresses; I had pretty much been a staunch skirt-avoider up until about a year ago. Even as a child, my mom basically forced me to wear dresses for church (maybe that’s where it stems?) But now, I need more of them in my life. Can someone recommend somewhere with very reasonably-priced dresses/skirts ($50-75 and under). Any style…I’m wearing a full-circle midi skirt in slinky fabric (don’t know how else to describe–poly stretch knit) brown w/ white flower print & a brown v-neck t-shirt. Yesterday was bold pink floral a-line skirt & hot pink square-neck t-shirt. Need.more.

    • mascot

      I have several of the faux-wrap dress from Lands End for my foray back into dresses and skirts. They go on sale fairly regularly. Also, Loft sometimes has work appropriate skirts.

      • Flying Squirrel

        Second LE in that price range if you can find sizes that fit you. Also Talbots on sale. And though I haven’t shopped there recently, Target used to have a great selection of very affordable casual and sometimes work appropriate dresses from Merona and Mossimo. I used to love AT and LOFT on sale, but lately find them hit and miss size, quality, and style-wise. Michael Michael Kors often goes on sale or is available at outlets like Sakes and NM.

      • Medic Maggie

        Thanks for the birthday wish! Commiserate hugs to you, mama.

        Thanks for the dress suggestions too. I appreciate it!

    • Anonymous

      My baby is four months and I get weirdly emotional anticipating the fact that I’m going to miss this time, even though I am currently living it.

      It makes me appreciate my own mother’s crazy because I never experienced crazy like that until I had my own!

  3. LT IT

    I’m not feeling this dress. I am a huge fan of black dresses but it does seem too school-marmish and/or church lady for me. Just my opinion.

    • Bonnie

      I agree. I made a final sale impulse dress purchase that I’m now regretting. I love the print but the neckline is too high. Any idea whether it’s possible to have a neckline lowered or how much it would cost?

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        The answer to both of your questions is “depends on the fabric and construction, and what shape you want the neckline converted to.” If you have a tailor you’re already comfortable with, I’d probably bring the dress to them and ask them to give you a price estimate/opinion about what can be done with the neckline.

        • In the Pink

          This +1,000,000

          I have to have everything altered because I’m an extreme hourglass.

          I have had tons of necklines lowered. It is not a rough job if there aren’t any pleats or embellishments.

          Recently, we experimented with changing a crew/scoop neck to a v neck in a cardi. It was pricey though…but I really don’t like the “flap effect” of the cardis…

          Give the new neckline a try! Seamstresses have some sort of string/rope/plastic-y thing that they put into a neckline so it lays well and that’s how she did the dresses and some of my tops, going from bateau (oh the braaaaaa straps thing) to a v or scoop.

          Don’t let the item dictate … you’re in charge :)

          • CKB

            I sew & have altered the necklines on a couple of crew neck tee shirts I have – it makes such a difference! Definitely check with a tailor.

  4. Yep

    This is lovely, and I could see it working on many body types including a classic hourglass/pear. I like the beige/pink colorblock better, but the navy is probably more versatile.

    • Scout

      I love this! I could see myself getting a ton of wear out of this. +1 on loving the pink but the navy being way more practical.

      Anyone buy from this brand before and can speak to the fit and quality?

      • Tina

        I have a couple of things from COS and like the quality a lot. The fit is similar to that of their sister brand H&M. I usually wear a 36 or 38 or S and I’m 5’9 and 130 lbs. It seems that would translate into a US 6 or 8.

    • Ellen

      I also totaly love this dress– but is the pink realy a color block? It look’s like 2 seperete piece’s from my Iphone. I think I will ask the manageing partner if I can buy it. I think the judge should like pink b/c he LOVES me in RED, so this cant be to different.
      The teck guy is workeing on my laptop computer b/c I spilled coffee on the key’s and I wanted to read this BLOG before I went to court. FOOEY I have 11 cases on 3211 motion’s today. Most say the same thing, but one of them the guy never even responded to our answer, so I was thinkeing of goeing for summery judgement, but the manageing partner says dismissal with prejuddice is the way to go, so I listened, and just copied the other motion’s, changeing just the name’s and the insurers. YAY!

      I billed a total of 220 hours on those 11 brief’s and it onley took me the morning on Monday and I uploaded them right after lunch. I think this is great b/c I get alot of hours and just copy and paste and upload. I do NOT even need to use Lynn on these b/c they were all the same and all she would do is mess them up, by forgetting to change the plaintiff or the case number on the docket, etc. FOOEY! Beside’s, she keep’s mooning at Mason. I think they have sex every nite and mabye more. But Mason was oogleing Myrna and some other woman the other day, so he realy is NOT to be trusted. The manageing partner’s brother want’s me to show him South Street Seeport Musuem, b/c he like’s boat’s. He said he would get a boat if I wanted one, but I am NOT his wife. Why is he sayeing all these thing’s. Myrna is probabley right about him trying to make me his trophy girlfreind. But I will NOT be sleepeing with him any time soon. Myrna think’s if Howard Stern could get a pretty blond, then I could be the manageing partner’s brother’s girfreind very quickly, but those two got MARRIED! DOUBEL FOOEY!

  5. txatty

    While this dress doesn’t quite work for me, there are several others on the website that look perfect. Can anyone speak to fit? The size chart seems like they run a size small on the small end (size 2 appears closer to a 0) – is that true? TIA!

  6. Scully

    Machine wash, sleeves, and texture… amazing pick! I would have a blast accessorizing the navy. The high neckline and raw hemline are my only pause. I don’t think I have anything with a raw hemline, so I wonder about durability. I think the styling adds to the school marmishness- paired with a scarf or really interesting necklace would probably compensate for the neckline.

  7. Stuck

    I am being considered for a long overdue promotion and raise. Negotiations are supposed to start at the end of the month, as my boss and my boss’ boss will not both be in the office at the same time until then. I doubt attempts to begin negotiations sooner would be successful. I am newly pregnant with what I hope will be my second child. If all goes well, I’ll be wrapping up my first trimester by the time salary negotiations begin. That is the point in my previous pregnancy at which I told my boss I was expecting. It is also the point at which I began to show (I’m short of torso). I know my boss and I know my company. I will not get a raise while pregnant if they know I’m pregnant. I’m worth more than I’m currently getting paid, and everyone knows it, but they will see me as having zero leverage with a looming maternity leave. Advice?

    • mascot

      Why do you have tell them before negotiations are finished? Let them speculate, let them think you are gaining weight or with child, it doesn’t really matter. No need to give them additional leverage against you.

    • Hildegarde

      First, this sucks. I”m sorry you have to deal with such foolish company.

      Second, on a more practical note, can you schedule your salary negotiation now for as soon as possible after they’re both back in the office, and then just not tell them you’re pregnant until it’s over? I know you said you’ll likely begin to show then, but if you can disguise it for a few days until negotiations are finalized, that seems like your best bet. Either that or searching for a job at a company that will pay you market rate and not punish you if you dare to get pregnant.

      Good luck!

    • LawyrChk

      Either accelerate the negotiations or hide it for as long as you can. If what you’re saying is true, it’s probably illegal for them to discriminate against you because you are pregnant – but good luck proving it.

      • watch for hubs

        That’s what I was thinking–sounds a lot like discrimination to me. Especially if you have glowing performance reviews, and others are getting raises too.

        • Stuck

          I’m an attorney. My boss is an attorney. We both understand the law. And we both know how things work in reality.

          • watch for hubs

            fair enough–and I didn’t mean to impart some kind of tone. Not everyone here is a lawyer. I hope you figure out something that is going to work for you–and good luck on your negotiations. Money is certainly one of the things that we could all use a little more of, for whatever reason.

            Happy pregnancy, too. Congratulations.

          • Stuck

            Thanks, and sorry. You made a valid point, I guess I’m just frustrated by reality.

      • hoola hoopa

        +1

        Plus other bump hiding wardrobe changes. Hide as long as you can and accelerate the negotiations. Agree with others that my male coworkers don’t seem to have a clue (they think I’m just gaining weight) when female coworkers have a hunch. GL! And I’d love an update.

      • Samantha

        I third the recommendation to invest in a couple of pieces that can hide your bump for a while longer! I remember the recommendations I read recently on this site were for a monochrome color (pillar of color effect? or some such), and flowy tops (avoiding jersey or thin cotton).
        I had an old navy top that had gathers at the neckline and then flowed straight down – bonus it was black with a bit of printed design – and this did a great job (when paired with black pants or skirt) at making me look willoy and not at all pregnant.

    • Lyssa

      I hope that this doesn’t sound like I’m picking on you for saying that, but I’m genuinely curious – why do you say that you won’t get a raise if they know that you’re pg? Is that something that’s been directly said, inferred, you’ve seen it happen to others? I was actually discussing this with my husband last night (whether raise discussions would be impacted if I were to wind up obviously pregnant when they happen), so I’m curious whether that is the norm or not. (He thought that they wouldn’t be, FWIW.)

      Congrats on baby, good luck on pregnancy, and good luck with the raise thing!

      • Stuck

        This is vague and unhelpful but it’s really just a matter of knowing my boss (a**hole) and my company (run by a**holes). Nothing has been said outright or done to others in similar situations without a defensible reason that didn’t involve pregnancy. I’m an attorney after all, as is my boss – it’s our job to make sure the company is not openly discriminating against people like me! From a financial standpoint, I do understand what motivates this behavior – my boss will have to carve more money out of his budget to go towards my raise, then additional amounts to cover a temp while I’m out. Meanwhile, he will assume (correctly) I’m not going to go interviewing while visibly pregnant or when I’m pumping at my desk 4x day and up with a baby all night. Why take the hit to his budget now when he can push it off another year or two? Not to weird you out, but I remember you hitting the ground running at a new firm right after having your son – it was impressive, but it’s just not something I’m up to. Yes, my colleagues aren’t who I wish they were, but there’s a lot about this job that is working well for my family so I’m staying put for the time being.

    • Avril

      I’m with Hildergarde, can it be done sooner. Also consider making a move to another company that will compensate you better. It’s obviously challenging since you will have a baby soon. But something to consider for the future. Congrats on the pregnancy, and good luck with everything!

    • BankrAtty

      I would ignore the pregnancy. Hide it as much as you can, but honestly men are pretty oblivious and probably won’t notice as soon as you might think. Best wishes!

    • Ciao, pues

      You can do it! You are worth more than they’re paying you, full stop. The fact of your pregnancy and upcoming leave has absolutely no place in that calculation. I know you know this, but I feel like it’s worth it to repeat and internalize.

      In your situation, I would take the advice above and hide it as best you can until after the negotiations. I found that I felt like I was showing a lot sooner than other people actually took notice, so you may be able to hide better than you think. When you do reveal, do not apologize! I’ve said this here before, but I think it’s helpful to conceptualize it as that you are good at your job AND you are pregnant, rather than being good at your job BUT you are pregnant. The two are truly unrelated. Remember, you have earned that upcoming leave by your tenure at your job; it is not a favor given to you by your boss.

      Big congrats on the pregnancy and recognition for your good work. Good luck!

      • Stuck

        Thanks for the pep talk. I didn’t realize how much I needed it until I read it.

    • Meg Murry

      If your boss will be back in the office before his boss, start the process with him now. And let them speculate whatever they want, but don’t tell them outright until after the negotiations (or anyone else in your office for that matter) – preferably far after the negotiations. Don’t transition into maternity clothes – just buy some holdover clothes in a size or 2 bigger. They can’t hold speculations against you. And I’m with others that men usually aren’t as observant as long as you aren’t doing other “tells” (sitting with a hand on your belly, puking in your trash can, all of a sudden refusing drinks or to eat sushi).

      And I’m sorry you are working for a**holes, especially ones that will hold pregnancy against you. I’ve been there, it sucks.

    • anon

      I don’t understand why you feel you have to tell people at the end of your first trimester. I waited until 28 weeks with mine. Who cares if your boss thinks you are getting fat – would you rather work for less pay to “explain” your baby belly? And if someone dares to ask, my response is always “Why? Are you saying I’ve gained weight?”- that usually shuts down any further discussion. If you want to make your uterus your boss’s business and link it to your pay, go right ahead but ultimately, you are a grown women, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your family decisions, and you are performing well enough to ask for a raise.

      • Samantha

        Haha yes – I’ve used that “Are you saying I’ve gained weight/look fat” strategy to good effect in shutting down this conversation!

      • Stuck

        I am positively envious that you were able to wait that far into your pregnancy to say anything about it. My body simply won’t allow me to do that because of how I’m built. I looked full term by 28 weeks. It is what it is though, and I focus on being happy that my body is able to get pregnant and carry a child (I’ve had some losses). Being clearly pregnant while claiming to just be getting fat won’t help my case but I will definitely hold out at long as I can – maybe last time I jumped the gun a bit because it looked so obvious to me… then again there was some office speculation by the time I did tell by boss, although I don’t know that he was part of that speculation. All this aside, your points are completely and utterly valid, so much so it hurt to read them. Yet another reason I don’t want to be at this company forever.

        • anon

          The reason I wait so long has nothing to do with my body or how I look but precisely because I am extremely high risk and have a long history with miscarriages (4 pregnancies, one living baby). To me, having people speculate and keeping my own reproductive business to myself is worth more than having to announce a loss publicly (which happened with my first after I announced it at 14 weeks). Again, none of it is really my boss’s business.

  8. watch for hubs

    Hubs wants a new watch. He is looking for chrono/dive style. I know nothing about brands. I have only ever had Timex & now a citizen. I am looking for it to be about $100. Can anyone point me in the right direction for brands to be looking for?

      • watch for hubs

        awesome, thank you! I also found Invicta on amazon, at what appears to be amazing deals–but I have no idea about the brand. Are they really $750 and $500 watches? And they’re under $100 on Amazon? What does that mean for the actual retail price?? Are they truly luxury watches, and just old styles/models being sold off?

        • Cb

          I bought an Invicta as a gift and it does seem like they are consistently on significant markdown but I think the one I bought is really lovely. It feels like good quality (more substantial then citizen) and the styling is nice (not too shiny). I think on your budget, they’re definitely worth a shot.

        • Anonymous

          The Stuhrling posted by Bonnie is a steal and looks very good. The high MSRP on Invictas are a bit of a shell game. They never sell for those prices, but they use the MSRP to give them a false sense of luxury when they’re a nice, but basic watch. I’d second Bonnie’s suggestion for Nordstroms rack or something similiar. And really consider the posted watch if its your hubbys style.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      If you were to do a Timex, Timex is a charity miles sponsor right now (at least for CCFA). If you do charity miles (walk/run/bike w/ the app going) you get 30% Timex at the end of your workout (in addition to the money you earn for charity). I don’t know if that is limited to their work out watches though.

  9. Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie

    I want to say a big THANK YOU for all the Savannah food and activity recommendations last week! I had so much fun and loved every restaurant. I just posted the recap on my blog. If it wasn’t for this site I wouldn’t have known about half the restaurants I tried, or the Slow Ride!

    • Anon

      That’s nice you had a fun trip with the recs from here; however, it’s annoying when you are constantly pimping out your blog on here.

      • Anon

        As a different Anon, and a daily reader of this site, I can’t actually remember Erin ever mentioning her blog before. Her handle does contain a hyperlink, but I don’t think that counts as “pimping out” one’s blog.

        • Anon

          I agree with the second Anon — it is much more annoying when people are nasty than when a regular poster mentions her blog in passing (first time I can remember, too, BTW).

      • M

        Also a daily reader, and also the first time I have ever seen her mention her blog. What is annoying, though, is you trying to police what people post on here.

      • Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie

        I’m really sorry to upset you, I didn’t mean to cause an issue here. I just thought I’d mention I posted a recap of my trip since the people on this site are the ones who helped make it so amazing. I wanted them to be able to see what I did and where I ate.

      • Anonollama

        Commenting this way (as “So and so @ So and so Blog”) is a regular blogging community commenting practice. Readers here often aren’t used to it because this blog uniquely created a culture of conversations between readers versus the conversations between bloggers you often find elsewhere.

        Chill out and drink a chamoozie or something.

  10. Anon

    I don’t “get” the picks this week. This dress, the sweater, the blouse/skirt combo…they all look like something a nun would wear. When something isn’t my taste, I normally can appreciate how others would like it, but I’m just not understanding these.

      • Steph @ Stiletto Jungle

        That’s exactly what I’ve been up to, Wildkitten. My picks this week are definitely at the “statement piece” end of my personal wardrobe spectrum. Although, I think my Thursday and Friday picks are quite accessible. Stay tuned!

        My day-to-day style is minimalist, but probably closer to Emmanuelle Alt than Tilda Swinton most days. And I do indulge in the occasional print, like the Joie open dot print silk blouse on my blog today: http://www.stilettojungleblog.com/2014/07/under-100-slouchy-silk-blouses-theory-joie.html.

      • hoola hoopa

        The context of an outfit is really helpful.

        I’m enjoying the change of pace. Kat’s style isn’t quite like mine, either, so it’s fun to see the guest poster takes on fashion.

    • Spirograph

      Same here. I do see how the lines are elegant (using that scientifically)… but it’s just so not my taste, I can’t get past it. I’m fascinated that some others love these picks so much, though. It’s an interesting week; I kind of like that it’s so radically different, even though there’s no way I would wear any of this.

      • Anon

        I agree, it’s so interesting to see other people LOVE these picks. I’m not trying to be critical by saying I don’t “get” these picks – it’s just been interesting to see so many people love them and I just don’t get it!

    • Alana

      These choices are amazing!

      It’s especially exciting to see Jil Sander, etc. looks at less than Jil Sander prices. This weeks picks are more about the art and construction of clothing than focusing on patterns, appliques, or a woman’s figure. These pieces are about line and form. The solid neutral colors highlight the construction of each garment.

      Does anyone know of other fashion blogs that focus on affordable architectural clothing?

    • MJ

      Cosign. I am not always on the same page as Kat style-wise, but I love the high fash vibe you are bringing this week.

      Meanwhile, Lisa–great post on Jigsaw today: http://amidprivilege.com/

      Jigsaw is one of my favorite stores (much like my Brora and LK Bennett problems when I lived in Notting Hill, I also had a Jigsaw problem, as they were just down the road. LOVE THEM!) Pricy but fantastic.

    • Steph @ Stiletto Jungle

      Thank you, Lisa, Alana, and MJ! And thanks to everyone in the Corporette community for sharing your thoughts on my selections. It’s been a huge pleasure being able to share my picks this week, and I’ve loved ALL of the feedback.

  12. anon2

    I am having freaking out this week and I need to get my act together before tomorrow when I fly to Chicago to meet the CEO of a company that wants to hire me as an employee. After consulting with them for the first 5 months of this year, I’ve been asked to provide salary expectations for a high level position that doesn’t yet have a title or a written description. I have 25+ years in my field (government & consulting) and would be making the change to a for-profit company in a related filed. I am struggling to properly value this transition. I know I will be perceived as a star hire and that, along with my connections and standing in the field, are a big part of what they are hiring me for. I alternate between thinking I need to be compensated for being a star, but then cycle to “why would they pay me that much?” Gotta love impostor syndrome in your 50’s. Ugh. Just trying to breathe – it took every ounce of will not to run screaming out of my yoga class this morning that I went to to escape my racing brain. Don’t know what I’m looking for here, perhaps some commiseration.

    • Wildkitten

      Can you consult a man about what he would ask for as a salary? (That’s one way I circumvent low-balling myself). Then, pack your best suit and go to sleep early. Go get ’em tomorrow!

      • Lisa

        That’s a good idea. Is the company on Glassdoor? Might be more salary info there. Just remember, they wouldn’t be hiring you like this if they didn’t have some kind of big problem they need you to solve. It may get ugly. Make sure your compensation, um, compensates for any hidden issues, as well as your what we used to call Rolodex.

      • Anon

        Yes, do this because men do everything better than women. (Please note extreme sarcasm)

        • Anon Worker Bee

          I think Wildkitten is suggesting that men are less likely to undervalue themselves, not that they do things better.

          • Lisa

            Also, anyone who has 25 years experience and gotten to a high level will probably, unfortunately, have many more male peers than female.

          • anon

            honestly, I’m fine with suggesting that she talk to someone with experience/knowledge who can give insight, and that may well be a man, but I cringe at the knee-jerk “what would a man do” reaction that many people on this board have.

    • houda

      Congratulations!
      I am nowhere near your position but I have impostor syndrome a lot. I would ask a couple male peers on what they would ask in such a situation. Having 25+ experience means there are people who have known you for almost as long and can vouch for your abilities.
      I only have 5 years work experience and I love reading such success stories on this site.

    • ITDS

      Why would they pay you so much? Because they are a for-profit and they just plain pay more.

  13. Newbie

    I just found out I’m going to be taking my first deposition later this month. I’m excited but also extremely nervous! Any tips?

    • Anonymous

      Pauses don’t show up on the transcript. Um, err, ok, so, like, and echoing the witnesses testimony do. Don’t be afraid to push for more information. When you think you’re done, take a 10 min recess, review your notes, and make sure you’ve gotten what you need.

    • Nancy P

      Write a list of deposition goals before hand — e.g. “Lock down details of X meeting, show no business justification for Y decision” etc.

      Write every question out — but don’t stick to the script. Use the exercise as a way to think through all of the issues and to make sure you don’t forget anything (see above note re reviewing notes).

    • CHJ

      Can you bring someone with you (summer intern, paralegal) to help with exhibits and taking notes? It’s very helpful to have someone else there who can follow along with the testimony live and confer with you during breaks if there are any areas you’ve missed or topics worth further exploration. And having a second set of hands to keep exhibits organized will make your life a lot easier.

      And a small tip – I like to have all of the potential exhibits in manila folders in a file box. Label the folder with your own words on what it is (July 1 Termination Letter, Angry Email to George, etc) so you can find it easily if you need to jump around on your outline based on how the testimony is coming in.

      And also, I like to have my introduction fully written out for the beginning, because that’s when I’m the most nervous. Something like “Good morning, Mr. George. My name is CHJ and I represent the Plaintiff, Jane Smith, in the lawsuit against Defendant Acme Co.” (I learned this the hard way when I said on the record that I represented the Plaintiff when I represented the Defendant — not a good way to start!)

      Good luck!

    • Anon

      Listen and think. Don’t get married to your outline. Know your issues and think about what the witness said and whether it’s actually the admission you think it is or if you need to ask more questions.

    • Plaintiff's Attorney

      While I’m usually on the other side defending depos but here’s some commonalities that I’ve observed from attorneys who are effective at taking depositions.

      1. While they are extremely prepared they do not read the questions word for word.

      2. They listen to the responses and use the responses as a springboard for their next question. Attorneys miss so much valuable information when they don’t listen to what the person is actually saying. Sounds elementary but you’d be shocked at the number of people who aren’t paying attention.

      3. Let the person talk. Even people who are prepped within an inch of their life will reveal volumes if you just let them talk. Then when you need to pin point specific details circle back around for pointed questions. Make this a conversation.

      4. They aren’t a$$holes. Being a polite human being goes along way to establishing an iota of trust that is useful for revealing information. I don’t know who you are deposing, most people are already extremely defensive but will relax and will talk more if they realize you aren’t a monster who woke up this morning excited to make them look stupid. This even goes for doctors and cops who are used to testifying both in court and in depos. And this also goes for people are just obnoxious terrible smug people. Maintaining your calm, polite, and professional demeanor will only reveal they are an obnoxious jerk and it will come through on the transcript.

      Good luck and relax! You’ll do great! :)

    • Sacha

      Here are my thoughts, as someone who has just started taking depositions consistently:
      1. As much as you can, avoid letting the deponent lead you away from your outline. Let them talk, but when they mention something tangential or off-topic, take a note and try to get back to the topic you were trying to cover. Cover your outline thoroughly. Then, when you take the 10 min recess suggested above, review those notes and formulate your follow-up questions on those issues. The transcript will be much more usable this way, in my experience. Focus on being calm and methodical.
      2. Don’t be shy about following up, especially when you get to the critical points. If you ask a leading question and don’t get the answer you wanted or expected, follow up with an open question or series of open questions, then formulate the best leading question you can with the testimony you got. Still kicking myself over this from my last depo.
      3. I script my initial instructions/admonitions (as well as some of my “summary judgment questions”), and I feel fine with that. I try to have some friendly banter at the outset to set the tone, and I do pause to get confirmation after each instruction, but I want to be sure I get all of that stuff in, so I don’t mind that I pretty much just read it. And knowing that the transcript starts off really clean sets me off on a good path. YMMV.

    • jjjeanette

      Listen to the witness’s answer and base your next question on what she says, not the next question in your outline. Ask as many follow-ups as you need to. Make sure the witness answers the questions even when counsel objects to form. Even if you think you got the admission you need, go back and ask again to get a cleaner question-and-answer you can use at trial. Nothing more frustrating than realizing your several pages of questions with scattered answers collectively get the admission but are so long/drawn out/full of objections/unclear you don’t have a good snippet to play at trial.

    • (former) preg 3L

      Never taken a deposition (obviously, per my handle) but I’ve been given this advice: always ask “and what else?” when the witness stops talking, and keep asking that until they say “nothing else.”

    • 312

      Advice given to me that was helpful – if during the deposition, the deponent starts talking about something you didn’t know about. Stop and draw a little star on your paper, which signifies to you to slow down and ask: who, what, where, when and why … helps in flushing out the details. An example may be that you didn’t know your deponent had a meeting on a certain date. You’d draw your star and then clarify – when was the meeting? who was there? what was the meeting about?, etc. Seems to keep your bases covered should the line of testimony be important at a later date. Good luck and take your time!

    • Anonymous

      Echoing all of the advice to not think about your next question and focus on the witness’s answer to the one you just asked.

      I’ve done a few myself, but for the most part was in the role of following the real-time transcript (highly recommend having an associate do this if it’s available to you–it’s really useful to see what the testimony is going to look like written down versus what you think you’re hearing) and flagging choice quotes that we would later use as designations or to ask the witness about at trial if they were testifying live. Often, the partner conducting the depo would think he knew what the witness was going to say to a foundation question and be in lala-next-question-land, and not notice that the witness misunderstood the question and gave an answer that was clearly incorrect (in which case I could alert partner in the moment or during a break that the question needed to be reasked). Witnesses also often give poorly worded answers, or even as the questioner you may fumble over your phrasing, and it doesn’t leave a good quote to use in briefs. If you have someone following, they can have you ask it again to get a clean quote.

    • anon

      Having just used depositions that I took at a trial, I learned two very important things:

      1) It’s a given that sometimes you will have to press a witness to answer your question. When you get that answer, ask a clean question that elicits the answer. This makes things very easy for you (or whoever) down the line.

      1a) This includes when you elicit an objection from opposing counsel. Do your best to remember to ask a clean question.

      2) Remember to lay your foundation for any documents that you will be using. Read up on the hearsay exceptions – you never know what you may need to use at trial later. I made a critical error here (though not fatal) – you just do not know if you will need this person to testify later, but perhaps they may be unavailable for trial (such as someone who is not subject to the subpoena power in the jurisdiction where the trial would occur).

  14. Anon

    Going on a girls’ trip this weekend that is definitely going to include some poolside time. Any advice on not feeling like I shouldn’t be wearing a bikini? I’ve gained a bit of weight around my midsection and it’ll be clearly noticeable but I haven’t been able to find a flattering one-piece. My inclination is to skip pool time all together but I don’t want to miss out just because I’m unhappy with my body.

    • nutella

      Just remember that nearly everyone you see would want to change something about themselves. And more than likely, they are too consumed with their own insecurities anyway to notice your midsection. Be confident and love yourself – you are so much more than a midsection! Have you ever noticed you never think twice about the confident ones but do remember the ones that cower inside when everyone else is outside enjoying themselves? And of course, your best accessory is a smile.

    • CHJ

      You know what I never notice? My girlfriends’ bodies. No one cares what you look like in your bikini or that you’ve gained a few pounds. Jump in the pool and enjoy your vacation!

      (And fwiw, I think bikinis are more flattering than one pieces anyway, regardless of size.)

      • 2 Cents

        I never notice my friends’ bodies either. In fact, if they point something out to me, like “oh, I’ve gained 10 pounds in the last month,” I’m generally the last person to notice. Plus, I usually think they look great regardless. Just go, have a great time, and wear what feels good. Anyone who’s looking — and judging — has the problem.

    • mascot

      It’s a girls trip so presumably there will be plenty of fun conversation, delicious food, and boat drinks to distract you from your bathing suit woes. Perhaps wear a fun accessory – hat, sunglasses, jewelry, sarong, whatever to shift your focus elsewhere. Don’t skip out on the fun. Life is too short for that.

    • Basics

      Rashguard over your bathing suit? I wear a long sleeved, high necked one over my bikini at all times to protect my skin from the sun. When I am up a few pounds, it hides the pooch. When I’m down a few pounds, well, it protects my skin from the sun.

      • Spirograph

        +1

        Please don’t let your insecurity keep you from enjoying every minute of a trip with your friends. I’m 100% sure they don’t love you any less because you’ve gained a couple pounds.

        Alternatively, tankinis might be your friend. I got a cheap one from Target for pool time with a post-baby pooch, and I still love it. The trick is to get one that drapes a little rather than hugging your body the whole way to the waist band. They are very forgiving!

    • Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie

      Enjoy your trip! Life is short. I feel really uncomfortable with my body too right now. I’ve gained about 30 pounds in the last year. I took two recent trips to beach areas and didn’t want to regret not enjoying the experience. If it helps, take a shot or two before stripping down to your bikini. But definitely do it. And you’ll see some people wearing things out and about that will make you feel way less uncomfortable.

      • Scout

        +1 Everyone feels uncomfortable about their bodies. I kick myself sometimes looking back at photos from when I was in a bathing suit and remember feeling so uncomfortable but now realizing I looked fine! It was all in my head.

        Agree w/ Erin, fling back a shot or start taking some sips from a good margarita and enjoy the girls weekend.

        I also think that most one pieces are unflattering. I’d rock the bikini and just grab a sarong to wrap around my bottom half and hid my midsection a bit.

      • M

        +1 Alcohol always helps me forget I’m in a bikini. But I tend to just rock it either way.

    • Anita

      I recently gained weight around my midsection and decided to try out one-pieces for the first time in forever. They all accentuated the weight! Back to bikinis I went– in fact, lower rise bottoms actually look the best. When I feel a little self-conscious, I throw on a big white button-down and remember that life is too short to care whether I’m built like a Victoria’s Secret model or not.

    • Anon

      I know it is easier said than done to simply not worry about it. That said, maybe you can take some time to go shopping and find a swimming suit you feel confident in. I had been trying to wear a bikini even when I was about 30 pounds heavier after having my last baby. I felt self-concious the entire time. I finally bought a cute one-piece (halter top, with ruching along the sides and kind of has a skirt bottom) and I feel much better in it. Also, every time I wear it someone tells me it is cute, which helps whether I want to admit it or not lol.

    • Bonnie

      When we went to the beach recently, I was really self-conscious in my bikini at first. But within minutes, I didn’t care, especially after that first fruity drink. I saw women in all shapes and sizes and realized that they were all probably self-conscious about something and really nobody was staring at my gut. Have fun and rock that bikini. I was most self-conscious when walking around the resort in my suit so get a fun coverup. ON is a great place for them.

    • Frustrated Academic

      I feel you–had a baby four months ago and the thought of wearing a swimsuit on our family vacation next week is filling me with a bit of dread–but as the other commentators said, everyone will be wrapped up in their own neurosis and hopefully having too much fun to notice the details of what you are wearing. In my case, I will probably wear a tank or cover-up in order to facilitate b-feeding and focus on the fact that I am introducing my little dude to his extended family and the lake that his dad grew up on. Have fun!!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I think bathing suits can be scary even when we are looking exactly like we want to be. Suddenly you are walking around in practically your underwear. It can take a little getting used to each season before you feel comfortable doing it again. I’d suggest wearing your bikini around your house a bit to get comfortable being that “un-clothed.”

      • CKB

        This is good advice. I’ll be wearing a bikini for the first time (have always been a one piece and tankini girl) when dh & I go to Maui to celebrate our 20th anniversary. I think I’ll take your advice & wear my bikini around the house for a while before we go. I’m sure dh will enjoy it! ;)

      • MJ

        We went to college together. She’s is fantastic…such a nice girl. And she married the XC runner all of my friends (guys included) referred to as “Hot Jesse.” Ha! Great article!

        • First Year Anon

          I’ve just started following her and reading her blog and 1) she’s an amazing writer, and 2) she seems really awesome!

    • 312

      Don’t skip pool time! What about a sarong or wrap for while you’re outside the pool? Once you’re in the water, no one can see anything …

    • AnonLawMom

      Everyone is different, but I just get a spray tan for these situations. It’s like losing 10 pounds instantly. After that I stop worrying about how I look and focus on having fun.

    • lawsuited

      Your mid-section deserves the sun as much as a thinner mid-section! Wear the bikini!

    • Anon

      Thanks so much ladies for all the moral support! I’m going to take a drink and then try to rock my bikini!

  15. anon

    Any suggestions for a birthday/bar exam gift for a newish guy? I’m thinking in the $50-$75 range? I have to be able to ship it to where he is studying at home for the bar exam. For background, he’s been my best friend for about 8 years, this is just a new ‘context’ for us, so I’m looking for something a little more personal than what a grandparent would get.

    • Clementine

      A friend recently was gifted four monogrammed tumblers and a bottle of craft whiskey. He thought this was the coolest thing since sliced bread. Etsy has lots of inexpensive options for this.

      If he doesn’t drink, maybe something like a really nice bag of coffee, a good travel mug and a note about lazy mornings (?).

    • Maudie Atkinson

      This doesn’t exactly fit the bill, since you presumably want to give him something before the actual exam, but one thing I like to do for friends taking the bar is find out what hotel they’re staying in and send them a room service treat — cake, a cheese plate, comfort food, basically — after the first day. That may be an idea to tuck away for the week of the exam itself.

    • M

      Massage? I’m trying to think back to what I really wanted after taking the bar and this was at the top of the list. Number 2 was alcohol, so I would second the first commentors suggestion. A trip was also high on my list, so maybe you could get a gift certificate for some type of “experience,” such as a ticket to some event where he lives.

  16. A

    I’d like that dress a lot better with different sleeves – shorter and less baggy, or no sleeves at all. Also, I have no idea what I’d wear over it – too dark to pair with a black blazer. A navy blazer would clash. A white one would look silly . . . some kind of cardigan maybe?

    • Anonymama

      Gray, or pink, or yellow, or kelly green blazer would go, and brighten it up a bit.

  17. What to wear in AZ?

    I’m visiting a client in Arizona in a few weeks. I expect it to be blazing hot. The client mentioned they will not be wearing suits and they don’t expect me to wear a suit due to the temp. What should I wear? Most of my wardrobe is black, navy and dark grey (northeast US here). Should I buy something in white?

    • LT IT

      I am in TX where it is also blazing hot and I am loving light gray, beige right now. Also trying to branch out from those colors you mention which are normally my go-to’s.

    • Anonymous

      I’m in TX and my summer go-to is a sleeveless sheath dress with a sweater or jacket to put on once I get inside the A/C freezer. Sleeveless is key for ventilation!

      I wouldn’t wear white–I’ve never seen it worn in a professional context down here. If you don’t have a sleeveless dress and will be shopping anyway, tan is good, but light to medium grey would also be fine in terms of not making you too hot in the sun and you might get more use out of it back home.

    • PHX

      Light colors (beige, tan), no nylons. If you are mostly inside all day, a sweater for the A/C. If you are here for any extended time, washable tops.

      Monsoon should start soon, so it will be humid and hot. If the forecast calls for stoms, pack a small umbrella, but no raincoat (too hot!) Phoenix or Tucson?

    • lawsuited

      I’d wear a white sleeveless top made of a natural fibre like silk and whatever lightweight skirt/pants you already own. Other light colours like tan and grey will still show sweat stains, but white won’t.

    • Gre

      “Arizona casual” is legit. You want to be wearing the least amount of clothes possible while outside, but you’ll want a sweater or blazer with you when you’re inside. They will freeze you out with AC. Open toed shoes are acceptable and will totally save your day — nothing worse than hot sweaty feet…

    • Pastels?

      I particularly like mint green, light aqua, dusty rose, and pale lemon. Get some cap-, short- or sleeveless (whatever your comfort level with sleeves) flowy shells and wear them with your black or dark bottoms. Small white or light grey cardi optional but you might want it for air conditioned indoor temps.

  18. Anonymous

    What are ideas for high-protein cubicle-friendly snacks? I have access to a microwave and fridge, but can’t eat fish, beef, or dairy other than yogurt.

    • Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie

      1 Greek yogurt cup, plus a serving of Kashi healthy heart cereal + 12 whole almonds.

      A sweet potato (heated in the microwave for 5 minutes) with a tablespoon of almond or peanut butter.

      • roses

        These seem a little too substantial for snacks if you follow the 3-meal-a-day plan and aren’t very very active – they are probably around 350 cals each. I do find though that a 100-cal Greek yogurt with fruit and/or slivered almonds is healthy and filling. The key is not to get flavored yogurt – it has an insanely high amound of sugar that might make you crash; much better to use fruit or add sugar/sweetener yourself.

        • OP

          I am on a 1200 calorie a day diet, but try to eat 3 – 4 times during the workday instead of meals. Helps my focus

        • Blonde Lawyer

          Roses, the OP did not ask for “healthy” or “low-cal” snacks. She asked for high-protein and cubicle friendly. Your response sounds rather judgmental of others eating choices. Not everyone counts calories. I see that OP does but you shouldn’t assume it.

          • roses

            I specifically said that it was substantial and meal-like for people that tend to eat 3 meals a day and are not very active – I was merely pointing out that what Erin suggested seemed a lot more substantial than what most people consider a “snack.” Calories are just one simplistic way to measure how satiating something is going to be. Just mentioning calories does not imply a value judgment.

            The low-sugar comment was to point out that high-sugar food is not ideal for snacks at work, because it can make your blood sugar crash and make you feel fatigued.

      • Whole grains

        Steel-cut oatmeal or whole grain cereal (Kashi Go Lean is high in protein) with almond milk, greek yogurt with a bit of fresh fruit like berries and a dab of honey… unmessy fruits like apples with nut or seed butters (almond or cashew or sunflower)…

      • P Funk

        +1 Luna’s Protein bars are especially good for this – 12 grams of protein in 170-180 calories. Not bad!

      • CKB

        I love Luna bars.

        What about non-beef jerky, like turkey jerky? Can be high in sodium, but also a great protein-for-your calories snack.

    • Anon in NYC

      Chia seed pudding (if you like a tapioca texture). I found a ratio of 2 tbsp. chia seeds with 3/4 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk to be good for a pudding-like texture. Let the chia seeds absorb the liquid for anywhere from 15 minutes-overnight. Top it with berries, almonds, or whatever you like. You can make it the night before and bring it into work, or, if you can store almond milk (or any other non-dairy milk) in your fridge and mix it in the office.

      • emeralds

        Chia pudding is the best. I like to mix coconut flakes in when I’m making it. YUM.

    • Anon

      Can you eat eggs? Hard-boiled eggs are a good snack and I find if you bring them peeled and keep in a container in the fridge they don’t smell. I also like to make curried egg salad to eat on crackers. Nuts are also a great snack (just watch the portion), or apples with peanut butter is probably my fave!

  19. Ciao, pues

    Do name brand (e.g. Rayban) sunglasses ever go on sale? I’m going make my first not-from-target purchase and am balking a bit at the price, wondering if I could score a deal later in the summer maybe. Since they’re not trendy or seasonal, though, I wonder if they really ever go on sale.

      • Bonnie

        That’s not an accurate reading of the article. 70% of sunglasses are manufactured in the same place but that is limited to more expensive brands, not the sunglasses sold at Target or F21. The article states that drugstore sunglasses do not offer the same protection and that the sunglasses are essentially the same after a $70 price point.

      • Anonymous

        I bought what I call my “fake-Bans” wayfarer style from Target to wear in the ocean because I’ve lost pairs in big waves before. I also have the real wayfarers. In addition to visible differences in shape and pattern, there is definitely a difference in terms of comfort (the Target ones dig in behind my ears and can’t be worn for long) and actual sun protection (I get migraines with the Target ones). So yes, it’s been widely known for years that Luxottica produces most sunglasses, but IME there is still a difference in quality and fit. It’s not like they’re the exact same glasses and the factory just finishes the run by sending the Ray Bans through the logo printer and the Target ones just go straight to getting boxed up.

    • AIMS

      Always!
      You can find RayBans at lots of places for less: Saks Off Fifth, NM Last Call, Nordstrom Rack, etc. They also have tons of other brands. Some are in less than great condition but usually that’s not an issue.
      If you’re interested in RBs specifically, you can also use L&T coupons (I like to wait for the friends & family 25% off ones) to buy them at L&T. Other stores probably have similar deals.

      • Who-lilly?

        Zu lilly occasionally features Ray-Bans. Looooove Zu lilly… and I’m not even a mom.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve bought from Gaffos (www gaffos [com]) before and was really pleased w the price and the service. They’re legit too – not knock offs

    • Cat

      If you’re willing to wait, they’re included in friends & family sales at a number of places – Bloomingdale’s and Macy’s come to mind first.

    • MNF

      Ideeli has Raybans on sale almost once a month. I’ve bought three pairs on sale there.

    • AnonLawMom

      Yes, Nordstrom usually has at least some styles of RayBans on sale during their Anniversary Sale, which is coming up very soon. I’d check that out.

    • S

      I recently ordered Tory Burch ones from Frames Direct and was really pleased with the pricing–they had a discount going based on how much money you spent. ($20 off purchase of $100 or some other such thing.) It may be be worth scouting if there is a similar discount going on. It ended up being a really good deal for me since I knew I wanted two pairs (one for car and one for purse), especially without the sales tax I would have spent if I went to Nordstrom like always. The quality was really great, too. Arrived fast and was well packaged. OK–I’m sounding like an ad now.

  20. Pretty Law Belle

    I am loving the coral/beige edition of this dress. I love the waistline, but I”d probably wear a beige or natural belt over it with a big pearl necklace. Sweet!

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