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Updated: Jan 18, 2021 199 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Post: Deneuve Blouse

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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I can never have enough white blouses in my closet, and this pleated blouse would be a great addition to any wardrobe.

Tory Burch can be a little too frou-frou for my taste sometimes, but this blouse is just perfect. I would pair this super-feminine, ruffled top with a wide-leg trouser or tucked into an A-line skirt.

The top is $398 and available in sizes 6–14. Deneuve Blouse

A few more affordable options are from Nicole Miller ($245), Reiss (on sale for $99.97), and CeCe (short-sleeved; $68.95).

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anon

    I posted a few weeks ago, I’m the OP who didn’t get the promotion I thought I was in line for. I can’t prove it but strongly suspect it was because I’m not a native speaker and a different ethnicity than all the other people at that level. It was clear to me that this isn’t the place for me long-term. I started job hunting through my network, got interviews quickly, and am closing in on a new opportunity.

    I just wanted to share that my dominant feeling after this experience is not anger but sadness. I had things to offer. I wanted to contribute. I think I could have. I’m sad that people’s received ideas and discomfort with difference got in the way.

    I’ll be fine. But nobody won here. I and this company, we both lost. I find that deeply sad.

    Sorry for the downer post. Just thought I’d share my perspective as it’s an experience I’ve not read much about on here.

    • Anonymous

      Three years ago, I lost a promotion and switched roles. It was the right thing for me Ans since then, I’ve gone from strength to strength and gotten that promotion. Do it.
      You’ll never know till you jump.

    • Anon

      You’re getting a new role, landing on your feet with a chance to thrive and grow…you win!!! Please stop giving the old job, boss, etc any of your energy…you’re giving it power

      • Monday

        This is appropriate for being ghosted from a dating app or something, but not being denied a job and suspecting it was illegal discrimination. This situation already has “power,” and she’s totally justified what she calls her sadness.

        • anon

          She is totally justified in her sadness and should acknowledge that and move on. Ruminating over it and posting on boards indicates that she is giving it more energy than acknowledgment/acceptance. OP is probably looking for validation.

          • Anonymous

            This response is a bunch of woo-woo crap. It is not “ruminating” to provide one update on an instance of discrimination in the workplace.

    • Ellen

      I think you need to make lemondade from the lemons. Yes, you are hurt and disappointed, but think of it the way I do. If they didn’t want you, you don’t want them either, so they can “eff” themselves. You sound very competent, so I know you will be a sucess at your career, and you can look back on them as loosing a winner. Hang in there and you will get over this. You are young, and have your whole carreer ahead of you!

      On another note, Elizabeth, I love Tory Burch, but I worry about any white blouse. It is virtualy inevitable that it will fade (yellow), but even if it doesn’t, I ALWAYS tend to get Marinara sauce on anything I wear that is white. So I never eat Italian food at a restrunt if I am wearing anything white. Plus, even if I weren’t such a slob when I eat out, $398 for a Polyester blouse is way to expensive for me, and my Dad would really yell at me when he pays my bills each month. FOOEY!

    • Anon

      I am sorry to hear you did not get the promotion you wanted. I will note that it is extremely common for people of color, particularly Black people, to be excluded from promotions and opportunities at work because of their ethnicity and vaguely coded ideas that they don’t fit in. It’s something we can all strive to watch out for and stop.

    • life is unfair

      Congrats on your quick success moving towards a new position. I wish you the best and hope it will be much better for you.

      Curious – when you leave, will you tell them that the lack of promotion/advancement drove your decision? I know people on this board seem to favor no critiques on the way out, don’t burn bridges etc… but that always makes me a little upset. How will things ever change/improve if people aren’t told and made to face the music?

    • Anonymous

      Good for you. Like you said, you both lost, but the company did the most. I am certain you did have great skills and experience to offer and they will miss out on that because of their short-sighted prejudice. I have a friend going through a similar situation and it’s so obvious to me that the company is losing out on a great thing – she’s amazing and any company would be lucky to have her. It’s completely wrong and if you feel comfortable, you could consider leaving a bad Glassdoor review at the very least.

    • Senior Attorney

      Thank you for the update! I totally get your sadness. Sending virtual hugs and best wishes for your new gig!

  2. Skincare Q

    Low stakes skincare question for this monday morning. Let’s say you wake up, do your morning skincare routine and then find yourself with some time in the early afternoon to exercise. You get sweaty and shower, wash your face. At that point, do you re-do your morning skincare routine or some other product?
    My routine is super simple. Mornings are vitamin c serum and my positively radiant moisturizer with SPF. Evenings are a retinol and cerave moisturizer. I know you shouldn’t do retinol during the day. Applying vitamin c twice in a day seems too drying as well, so I usually just reapply my aveeno w/ spf or just cerave depending on how late it is in the day.

    • Panda Bear

      If its late afternoon (e.g. dark out or getting there) I just do my evening routine, including the retinol. If its earlier, then I just put on some moisturizer/spf, and then do my evening routine before going to bed.

    • AnonInfinity

      We have basically the same routine. I use Vitamin C in the morning and Cerave AM moisturizer with sunscreen. Night time is Cerave moisturizing cream and tretinoin.

      If I’m showering around lunchtime or in the middle of the afternoon, I just put moisturizer and sunscreen back on because I’ll wash my face again before bed. This is partially because Vitamin C is drying and also because it’s expensive so I’d feel like I wasted it. If I shower after about 3 and don’t plan to put on makeup or really go outside again, I’ll put on my nighttime moisturizer and then will put my tretinoin on right before bed.

    • Anon

      No, moisturizer and sunscreen is the only skincare I’d do in that circumstance. You already got the benefits of the morning skincare.

  3. Anonymous

    Husband just found out his junior colleague and wife had a miscarriage. While he did express sympathy in the moment, I thought we should send flowers with a small card saying something like….sorry for your loss. I’ve never met them. Is this ok?

    We are in Asia so no need for food delivery etc as they’ve got in-home help.
    Any advice appreciated…thanks.

    • Cat

      This seems a little too personal to me – in the junior colleague’s shoes, I would want my boss to-
      1. Ask if you want me (boss) to let others on the team know (so colleague doesn’t have to keep telling people himself, if others knew about the pregnancy)
      2. Please take this week off if you need to
      And then 3. Respect the time off

      • Anon

        I wish we lived in a world where bosses could authorizing the taking off of weeks. I’d make sure he knows HR’s actual policy (and what bereavement leave is, if nothing else). It s*cks, but you may have to use PTO or personal days (which is what they are for!). But ad hoc management doesn’t work over time in a big org.

        • Cat

          Fair point- the equivalent in a land of red tape could be an informal “let me know what I can cover for you this week” — letting the person basically do the minimum possible. Assuming exempt of course.

    • Anon

      Yeah, this feels a little icky to me. If I had a miscarriage and my husband’s boss and his wife, both of whom I’ve never met sent me flowers, I’d be a little weirded out. I’d assume they meant well, but it would definitely feel like an invasion of my privacy.

      • Anon

        The only reason it wouldn’t weird me out to get stuff from a spouse is that it wouldn’t surprise me if this is the stuff that men should do but women actually get done.

    • busybee

      Too much. I’ve had multiple miscarriages and although I appreciate words of sympathy, a card and all that would be too much except from close friends.

      • Curious

        I agree unless the pregnancy had been announced at work. For our early loss (4W3D) and even if we lost this one, almost no one knows, and the flowers I got from a best friend the first time were the only ones I would have accepted. Even my SIL’s attempt to acknowledge the loss had me wanting to hurl the pretty bracelet at a wall. But I can imagine if it’s a late loss it might be different? Also not sure the etiquette in Asia.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, all. Yes, husband has told him to take whatever time he needs and is very big on being respectful of that also. So it is all covered.

      • Anon

        I think the etiquette in some parts of Asia is to be a bit more involved in the personal lives of workers. Generalizing but my colleagues in India all appear to know, for example, which other household members their colleague lives with (parents, spouses, in laws, kids, grandparent). It isn’t uncommon in India to informally ask your colleague to join you (+your spouse/household members) for dinner at their place on the spur of the moment.
        Therefore, ymmv and it may be fine for your husband to send flowers to his colleague & spouse.

  4. Anon

    Has anyone tried Ilia makeup? I have seen so many ads lately on social media and their videos are very convincing. While I love that they use models in their 50s or beyond, they also all have naturally beautiful skin. I would love some reviews from regular people – and hopefully people who are challenged in the makeup application department like I am.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve tried their limitless lash lengthening mascara and like it. Haven’t tried anything else though.

    • Panda Bear

      I tried the super serum skin tint (spf 40, the one in the dropper bottle) and really liked it. The formulation is more like a liquid foundation more than a serum or a tinted spf. I got about a quarter of the way through the bottle, though, and then just mostly stopped wearing makeup given that I never go anywhere anymore. But I would probably have used it all up if I had reason to.

    • Anon

      Thank you both! The super serum skin tint is one of the things I’m really considering. I still use MAC Studio Fix, but I don’t think it’s doing my skin any favors right now.

    • Anon

      I had heard lots of great things about their mascara but really didn’t like it, but YMMV.

    • Anon

      I don’t have any experience with Ilia, but I can heartily recommend Face Atelier Ultra Skin. It’s a silicone-based foundation (no need for primer, good for ‘mature’ skin) and my skin looks amazing with it on. Very easy to apply. I’m surprised it’s not more popular but it’s probably because you can’t find it at Sephora.

  5. Annalilly

    I haven’t been on a whole lot lately, so if she was already suggested, then just count this as another plug. A friend suggested @sharonsaysso on Instagram after Jan. 6. She is a former government/constitutional law teacher who answers political questions. She does balanced “what the right/left thinks” crowd-sourced questions, answers constitutional questions, and she loves whales and bald eagles (so expect that). She doesn’t post her political leanings. Her hating on QAnon is also really funny. If you need to feel better about the state of our politics/life, give her a try.

  6. Bonnie Katie

    My bff sent me me this this morning and I’m finding it hilarious, and also I’m am very okay with making this a trend that sticks for a little while.

    https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/style/story/tiktoks-latest-makeup-trend-eye-bags-dark-circles-75257036

    I think it’s a direct result of everyone just being so tired after the last year, and reminded me of how fashion is tied in with general mood of the country. I know we’ve talked about predicting what trends will come out of the pandemic – athleisure was already here but got a big boost, I think comfortable shoes are going to stay – but I wouldn’t have guessed bags under eyes but this morning it is making so much sense to me and I am positively delighted.

    I also might have a low bar this morning for delight….I’m finding the new battery organizer just wonderful as well.

    • Anon

      Meh, similar to the grey hair trend, I think this is a “this is edgy but I only do it because I’m so young it won’t actually age me” trend. I’m on tiktok and the only people doing this are already goth leaning (in clothing or attitude), and are skinny and pale and look like they survive on coffee. I don’t think it’s a pandemic trend.

      • Anon

        OMG yes to the “skinny, pale, look like they survive on coffee.” I joke that if vampires were trending, I know some of them.

    • Anonymous

      Wow. I am old and had never been on TikTok before and now I never will again. What did I just watch? And why are people spending so much time this way?

        • Anonymous

          Yup. Time to fold it up since I don’t see the value of competitive makeup videoing and don’t want to watch someone dig the massive encrusted wax ball from her ear. Progress has escaped me and I am of no benefit to society now. Mark the time.

          • NopeNop

            word! I will join you searching for a place in the graveyard to lie down ;)

            In the words of the badass Betty White, „I didn‘t know what TikTok was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time“

            Preach! (Yes, I know the quote is about Facebook).

  7. Cb

    I’ve set up my office in the sunroom, as the quietest/lightest place in the house, but it is FREEZING! Any recs on what kind of plug-in heater would be best? It’s a big space but I’m only in one corner of it. I’ve got a small fan heater and an electric blanket, but still find the room a bit chilly. We’re working on getting solar panels installed, so assume I can heat it to my heart’s content without worrying about electricity bills.

    • Ellen

      Dad says you would do better with more clotheing, and layering, including fleece tights! This way, it will not introduce the danger of a space heater, or the cost which is very expensive for an electric heater. You could also set up an exercise bike in that room, and do your cycling in the room, thereby warming up your body and flattening your tuchus at the same time. That is what I do in my office, and as long as I proofread a brief, I can bill for my entire exercise routine.

      You need to think “multitask, multitask, multitask”. That way, you can work, bill, and flatten your tuchus all at the same time, and if your lucky, you will become a partner at your law firm also! YAY!!!!

      • Cb

        Ooh, that looks amazing – as I sit here with 2 pairs of socks on! The floor is tile and it’s chilly. I use a cushion but if my feet were warmer, I bet I would be warmer.

        • FFS

          On my cold tile floors, socks do nothing, and if my feet are cold, I’m cold. Try wearing something with a real sole, even if it’s just slippers with a rubber bottom. My LL Bean Wicked Good slippers keep my feet so toasty, but even my Amazon memory foam slippers from last year did the trick.

          • Anonymous

            I actually wear “sleeping bag slippers” from Baffin (just replaced) and a similar down pair from Company Store. I’d say both work equally well. I don’t use them to walk around the house since they don’t have any arch support, but they are amazing for keeping feet warm when I’m sitting and working.

    • Anonymous

      How about an Ororo heated vest? My husband prefers his to a space heater in our chilly home office.

      • Anon

        My husband has used his heated vest nearly constantly this winter. He get’s cold easily and it has saved us from some major thermostat battles, as I live in the land of hot flashes.

    • Anon

      I work in a basement with no heat (Northern CA) and I am also freezing every day (but it is by far the best place to work). I got a tall heater on Amazon that oscillates (before that I had one that didn’t oscillate which was not ideal). I can’t find my exact one but something like this: https://www.amazon.com/TaoTronics-Electric-Oscillating-Portable-Thermostat/dp/B089LLVX1S/ref=sr_1_134?dchild=1&keywords=Oscillating%2Bspace%2Bheater&qid=1610984845&sr=8-134&th=1

      Also agreed with the suggestion to add a rug. I just added one by accident (bought a new one for upstairs and thought might as well use the old one downstairs) and it’s made a big mental difference.I might also get a foot warmer because it’s my feet that always stay cold.

    • Senior Attorney

      We were without heat for several weeks recently and survived pretty well with Vornado space heaters. They did the job well although they do use a lot of electricity.

    • Anon

      A plug in radiator does a good job, is safe to walk away from, and doesn’t use a lot of electricity. We use one in a bedroom that stays cold in the winter.

  8. Anonymous

    I turned 30 last year and cannot keep the dark, pokey chin hairs at bay. Tell me your secrets. Waxing? Twice weekly plucking? Bleach?

    Yes, my current trick is “bigger mask”.

      • Anon

        This.

        My near vision has dramatically worsened as the hairs have multiplied. I didn’t want to be one of those old women always feeling around for them. Can’t wait to see what horror awaits after the pandemic (not sure that is available in my area as a service currently).

      • Anonymous

        +1 to electrolysis, after the pandemic is over. Mine were growing in thick and coarse, maybe perimenopause, maybe stress from my marriage breaking down, I am not sure. It took a year and a half of electrolysis appointments to get rid of them, but it has now been 2 years since my last treatment, and I only occasionally have to pluck a hair or two. A year and a half wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I started with 30 min appointments once a week, and then moved to 15 min appointments every 2 weeks, eventually I just went for 15 mins once every 4 weeks. So you will see improvement quickly, but you have to stick with it because of the hair growth cycles. I wish there was a way to tell all the hairs to grow at the same time so you could zap them all in one go! It’s important to not pluck when you are doing electrolysis. I just shaved the hairs in between appointments. Taking care of that issue helped my self-confidence a lot, though.

    • Anonymous

      Constant vigilance and plucking. The best place to spot them for me is in my parked car in the sun so I have tweezers in my glove compartment just in case.

      • Anon

        I also pluck. I find I can feel them before they’re very noticeable visually, so I pluck before they get too long.

      • anon

        So funny! I never see them when I’m looking into the bathroom mirror at home, and the moment I get into the car, everything becomes so visible!

        • pugsnbourbon

          … I keep a pair of tweezers in my bag for this purpose. That visor mirror light does not lie.

    • Anonymous

      Once the pandemic is over, electrolysis. Before, Sephora house brand facial razors.

    • life is unfair

      I’m surprised no one has mentioned the Tinkle facial razors. So fast. Dirt cheap. Much nicer for my sensitive skin. No more bleaching/plucking/waxing.

      That’s all I use now. About once a week or two I spend about 30 seconds on my face with the razor. The nice side effect is it does a nice job of exfoliating and leaves my skin feeling nice. I do the peach fuzz on my face too…..

      • Cat

        Same issue… but the hairs that need plucking are very coarse and pokey (not just fine hair that’s darker than normal). A razor might slice them off, but they would still be dark and visible under the skin.

        • life is unfair

          But have you tried the Tinkle razors?

          Sorry if my post was unclear, but I also have extremely dark hairs on my mustache and chin that I plucked for years, that I now shave off. Yes they are coarse and “pokey”. My skin is very pale but I am extremely hairy with very dark hairs and sensitive skin. And no, when you shave them you do not see them under the skin.

          Just try it. Order the razors online and try it. What do you have to loose? The old wives tales aren’t true. If you want to jump to expensive electrolysis then yes that is an option. But you will get more of these hairs as you age, let me tell you….

    • Curious

      I pluck. Thank you for letting us know this is normal. I was horrified when they appeared.

  9. Anonymous

    Since it’s Martin Luther King Day (which I’m sad to not see acknowledged here) does anyone have a black owned brand they like for work from home-wear?

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been lusting over stuff from Aliya Wanek and B.Freedom (saving up for a jumpsuit). Also, not clothing but I really enjoy my Luv Scrub. It does a great job exfoliating and is long enough to be able to get my back.

    • No Face

      Can we extend to Black-owned companies generally? I have not purchased any new WFH clothes, but I have been very happy with makeup from Mented cosmetics (from their website) and Lip Bar (from Target). For skin, I love the
      whipped butters at BGLH Marketplace.

      • FP

        Elevated Scentz for candles! It’s a young woman from Houston. Amazing scented candles that I have been plowing through as I work from home.

      • Seventh Sister

        These amazing women were Shark Tank on Friday and I love their stuff:

        https://lunamagic.com

        I got to know them from kid’s school and they are so sweet and smart and wonderful.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Martine’s Dream has lots of flowy caftans, dresses, jumpsuits, etc. Splendor Revival has great vintage clothing.

    • BB

      Plug for Gymwrap (which I learned about here)! It’s a great sweatband for working out, stays on well, soaks up TONS of sweat, and wicks away even more. I was super skeptical when I first got it because there’s no elastic and you basically tie it around your head, but it’s so effective!

  10. Anon

    Suburban house-with-yard dog owner poll:

    If you let your dog out in back to relieve himself, do you pick up the poop? My dog poops while walking (he is a puppy still and needs constant walking), but I am getting told that he’ll just go in the back yard when he is a bit older. And that I can hire a service to come out several times weekly to pick up after him.

    I think that since I have to watch him anyway (to not dig; also yard is not completely fenced, although he will come in on command) and have kids who would no doubt step in any backyard poop, this is probably a no-go for us. But am I just weird? I have to pick up his poop when I walk him and unless I lived on a farm where the dogs were the the sort of outside farm dogs that just come in for food and to sleep, probably would never not pick up dog poop.

    • Anon

      Yes, of course you should pick up his poop in your backyard, unless you want a gross backyard.

    • Cat

      I don’t know anyone who doesn’t pick up the poop — they all have kids who run around in the back yard, so any delay in pickup is a gross foot or shoe disaster waiting to happen.

    • Anon

      Do what works for you. I don’t have kids and my yard is fenced, so when my dogs finish a bag of dog food, I go out in the yard and scoop everything I find. If I had kids who might track ish in (I’m good at dodging landmines), my plan would probably be different.
      I pick up when we walk, because that’s just being a decent neighbor.
      As long as your dog owning habits don’t inconvenience your neighbors, whatever works best for you is the right way!

    • anonymous

      I think it depends on your backyard and situation. Got a nice lawn that kids play on? Or does your dog eat his own poop? If yes to either, pick up. Growing up we had a large back yard that didn’t have nice grass – just patchy grass, pine needles, leaves, and mud. We didn’t play back there, it was pretty much just for the dogs. So we didn’t pick up poop.

      The idea of hiring a service to pick up poop seems insane to me unless you are disabled to the point where you can’t pick up poop, or if you are just that desperate to burn through some money for some reason.

    • Anon

      You should definitely pick up his poop. My neighbors sometimes go for a week or more without picking up their dogs’ poop, especially in winter. It stinks up our yard, too.

    • Dogs

      I don’t have kids, but I do pick up the poop in the back yard as it’s happening. I figure I pick up her poop on walks, so it’s not any different and only takes a few seconds. However, I don’t freak out if I miss one every now and then (probably happens every few weeks when I let her out and then remember I have something else to do inside). The size of the dog probably also plays into this. My dog is smaller, so any missed piles are not huge.

      I have some friends who have two really big dogs and they don’t pick up the poop unless people are coming over. I think that’s kind of gross and seems like a potential disease vector, and I hate having to worry about whether I’m going to step in it if I get up from my chair.

    • AnonATL

      We pick it up periodically. More regularly in the summer so dh doesn’t run over it with the lawn mower. Our dogs generally go around the perimeter of the yard where we have some mulched beds so we don’t step on it much. When kiddo is more mobile, we will definitely be more diligent.
      Rain does an ok job of washing it away in the yard, but it has to rain pretty hard.
      We just take a grocery bag, put on latex gloves, and go around and pick up the mounds once every couple of weeks.

    • Anon

      Thanks for the responses — I can see that there is a variety. The neighbor who mentioned it is nice and does not seem like she has $ to launder (too much Ozark, sorry). All I can think of is that no one helps her with her dogs and my guess is that if no one else is picking up poop, she isn’t going to, either (this was the Rubicon I crossed with finally getting a cleaning service and then also vowing to train my kids that it is always their week to clean their areas and tidy up and that the cleaners are only here for deep cleaning and scrubbing; YMMV with spouses — if I die first, I bet that man will never change sheets).

    • Daffodil

      I have a fenced in yard, and my dog goes out by herself most of the time – I don’t need to watch her, she goes out, does her thing, and comes back in. I go out usually once a week to pick up all the poop.

      If I had kids, or if anyone was going in my yard, would pick it up often. But for now, once a week works.

    • Anonymous

      Are you actually asking if you should leave your dog’s crap out to pollute the yard forevermore…? Of course not. What an absolutely disgusting prospect. Pick it up at least weekly

      • Anon

        I read it as “leave for periodic cleaning by paid service” or “pick up as dropped.”

      • Anonymous

        Animal poop does not pollute. It is as natural as it can get. You can buy animal poop to add to your garden. I’m guessing you didn’t grow up on a ranch.

    • Anon

      No kids, and I scoop the yard for landmines once or twice a week. I often feel vaguely guilty, and I get judged very harshly if anyone else sees anything in the yard…like hello, we have an unsupervised outdoor dog, you’re here visiting for a whole week, did you think you’d never see any?

    • Anon

      I think this depends on the yard. When we were kids, we had a fenced in backyard and the dogs went out in the yard on their own, but they mostly went to the bathroom along the edges, under the bushes in areas that were basically natural mulch piles (where we’d put the leaves each fall). I remember my parents scooping poop once in a while (and we always did it on walks), but it definitely wasn’t a regular thing. We played out there all the time, so I’m sure I’d remember if we were dodging dog poop and I don’t ever remember stepping in it. It breaks down on its own as long as it’s not too concentrated.

      • Anonymous

        It will eventually break down, but it’s super terrible for the environment. You can Google it and find a lot of infographics that towns and outdoor organizations have created to discourage people from letting their dogs crap on trails “because it’s natural.”

        • Anon

          It is bad for the watershed, and if you’re not on top of regular deworming, parasite eggs can persist in soil for a crazy-long time (almost forever). That said, I’m not nearly as diligent about picking up in my own yard as I should be, and at least here in the southeast, there are dung beetles that make pretty quick work of even my big dogs’ piles in the summer.

      • Anon

        Yeah, this is where the concentration and proximity to waterways part is really important. There’s a big difference between a backyard and a trail that’s used by tons of people and is probably next to a creek. I’m actually a scientist in this general field, and I’m a lot less concerned about dog poop in backyard surfaces where it can’t easily run off, but agree that it is a big issue in high traffic areas, hard surfaces, and especially areas where it will easily wash into streams/rivers/oceans or expose people to parasites/pathogens. The specifics matter a lot here.

      • LaurenB

        Doesn’t anyone have a dog run? Dog goes in a small fenced in area to do his business; yard / grass remain untouched, no worries of kids running through poop.

    • Anonymous

      Walking is important for dogs of all ages–you’ll be less likely to have problem behavior if they are regularly getting exercise. I guess I’m the minority here, but I walk my little dog twice a day (picking up his poop) and also let him in our large backyard each morning and don’t pick anything up (no kids) . Given frequency of rain, lawn mowing, etc. it never even occurred to me. I thought it was the better thing than using more plastic.

    • Emma

      I pick up every two days or so, not the minute he goes. I also encourage him to go on walks (he gets a cookie – and I obviously pick that up) but he definitely goes in the yard sometimes. I’m in Canada and don’t have kids, so the poop might stay out longer in the winter and then get buried in snow, and then a big cleanup happens in the spring. In the summer, we are out every day so I’m more aware of the yard and more likely to go around with a baggie.

    • Anonymous

      This is 100% a kid chore. Every day, every other day, however often you want. Always right before mowing the lawn or raking leaves. I would never pay a service for this.

      Our dog spends long stretches of time outdoors, so it would not be possible to notice and pick up every poop immediately. If your dog just goes out to potty and comes back in immediately afterwards, you could pick up as it happens if you had the energy.

    • Anon

      You didn’t ask this, but I love my long handle pooperscooper with the squeeze handle so that I can clean up one handed without bending down. It may seem excessive, but I have 4 dogs and that’s a lot of poop.

    • Anonymous

      We have two medium sized dogs, plus a kid, and pick up the yard daily. Otherwise, it’s gross and attracts flies, beetles, etc. There’s no way we could get by with only cleaning up with a service that comes 1-2x week. For us, this is both a hygiene and yard aesthetics issue.

    • Anonymous

      Our yard abutts woods and we trained our dog to go poop in the woods. 95% of the dog poop is in the woods. We do a spot check before we mow or if we are having company over. At the end of winter when the snow melts there are always a few stray poops that need to be scooped and tossed.

  11. PNW

    I have until 1/31 to complete all my team’s performance reviews and goal achievements for 2020. I try to put a lot of thought and documented support into them and I swear to god every year HR makes it more difficult with all of the tweaks and changes to our “talent management” portal. It feels like I spend more time figuring out which drop down menu to use than evaluating performance. I had an early HR webinar this morning that I thought was going to be about maximizing the review process for staff development and instead it was about how to log into some new area of the portal named something silly. The most frustrating thing is that I get zero input from HR once I click that “submit” button, no one has ever followed up with me about any of my reviews or development plans, so I do this whole dog & pony show and have no idea how it is used. Merit and bonus decisions come from me and don’t seem to be correlated to the reviews in any fashion. If I ask HR a question, they just send me a job aid on how to navigate the system.

    Just needed to vent, it seems like the helpful systems aren’t helping anyone accomplish anything.

    • Ribena

      I sympathise! We got a new system 18 months or so ago which, yes, looks a lot nicer than our previous systems but it is a total pain to use. When booking annual leave, I have to manually enter the amount of hours every day (despite the fact that the system isn’t even set up to deal with anything other than a standard full time five day week).

    • Anon

      I sympathize!! I feel like half my job is trying to figure out some new software or portal that the higher ups have implemented to make us more efficient, etc…it ends up just feeling like busywork.

      • anon

        It’s a government and bank holiday. So only government employees, schools and banks are off.

          • anon

            The GA answer is from me, the anon above, not OP. It’s been my experience that we don’t get MLK Day in the private sector.

          • Anonymous at 3:39

            Huh. I am in Georgia. I did have someone call me in one year, as if there wasn’t a holiday, at least not “for us,” which I found very obnoxious, but otherwise I have always had the day off officially. One opposing counsel sent me an email today, but not a peep otherwise. My BF is working, but his start-up employer is obnoxious.

          • anon

            I’m the first GA anon. I’m on mobile and don’t have the reply button deeper in the nest, so I’m replying to this post. I’m in engineering and the companies at which I worked in the past have anywhere from 7 to 9 holidays, with maybe 1 floating day. That includes, typically: New Year Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Day. Some companies will give Black Friday, President Day, and Christmas Eve. None give MLK or Columbus Day. NotFun Fact: state government used to have Confederate Memorial Day last I checked in 2010. They still have the day off now, it’s just called something different.

    • Anonymous

      I’m in IL and don’t have it off and am getting a ton of email, so I don’t think anything but government is off either.

  12. Anon for this

    There have been a lot of posts on here about how some of us are losing motivation to work hard during the work-from-home phase of the pandemic. My problem is more severe – I don’t want to do much of anything. I’m a trial attorney. For the most part, jury trials have been postponed all of 2020 and probably the first half of 2021. I’m having trouble working on my cases. Like, at all. I’m on meds for depression already. Is there any advice for getting motivated to get working again? I used to eat, sleep, and breathe my cases. Now, I piddle around all day until 5 p.m. gets here and then I exhale from relief that the work day is over. The guilt and shame around this is huge. I’ve run out of any “grace” for myself; I need to get cracking again. Any advice from the hive would be appreciated.

    • Anon

      Same. I want to work on my novel. But not really. I want to travel to an elegant villa overlooking the sea and pose as a writer while just doing nothing. I have heard that the angry ranting of a landlord when the rent is overdue is the only thing that makes writers write. I don’t know of the lawyerly equivalent (statutes of limitations).

    • Anonymous

      “Now, I piddle around all day until 5 p.m. gets here and then I exhale from relief that the work day is over.” This is me! Following for responses, but you are not alone.

      • smol law

        +1000000

        As a defense attoney, all I can say is that I hope you Plaintiffs’ attorneys are feeling/struggling the same way as me so we can commiserate :)

      • Ribena

        Sticking my hand up here too. Some days are better than others – and some days, ‘better’ looks like just one or two “pomodoros” of focussed work.

    • No Face

      One of the reasons I typically thrive in litigation is because I respond well to pressure and external deadlines. Not great for this year!

      One thing that helped last week: I went through all my cases and determined what needed to happen in all of them. Seeing it all written out added some pressure. It also helped identify some simpler dispositive motions that I can write and file now.

      • Emma

        +1, except I’m a transactional attorney so the only reason I get anything done is because closings are still happening. But Friday was bad (as in, I billed two hours, then spent a ridiculous amount of time staring into space while feeling guilty for not working, then becoming more anxious and doing even less), so this weekend I got my act together and made a list of steps for all my files, then ranked them by order of priority, and found myself actually working on something. But I have really hit pandemic wall in the past few months and everything is a slog.

    • Lilau

      I’m with you. I’m plenty busy but with office work that I have never enjoyed and isn’t motivating and it’s brutal just getting through the days.

      The only thing that helps is to write my 2021 prefomance appraisal in advance and work backwards. I do it every month so I have some accountability. Also- I thrive on deadlines. I had to ask my boss to put them on her open-ended proactive motion assignments just to get stuff done.

      Weirdly, I’m equally busy when I’m swamped as when I’m idle and busy gets me a raise so, onward.

    • Anonymous

      Someone here recommended the book Burnout to me. I am in their debt. I gave myself permission to work through it slowly to really understand myself and not have another thing to beat myself up for. I highly recommend it.

      I also recommend not staring at a screen or out the window for hours. Drink a glass of water, Bundle up, mask up, and go for a 20 minute walk. When I step away from the computer and email for 20 minutes, I feel like I did something instead of beating myself up for not working those 20 minutes AND not doing anything else productive those 20 minutes. Which before I read Burnout, used to turn into hours.

    • Anon

      Part of my problem is I can’t do all the usual recommendations (breathe, take a walk, pump some music and dance around). I’m required to keep that Skype light green at all times, and respond instantly to any communication. I’m staring at the screen for 10 hours, with only a few moments to scurry off to pee and hope nobody IMs me during those 90 seconds.

      Despite the insane 2+ hours commuting, I had much more freedom in the office. Nobody minded if I wandered off to grab a coffee and step outside for some fresh air. At home, it’s frantic hoop-jumping to prove we’re still doing our jobs.

        • Anon

          I don’t have a work cell, and even if my PAYG dumbphone supported apps, I wouldn’t give my job access to my personal device.

      • Coach Laura

        Regarding the green skype light, I read (here, perhaps?) that there is a gadget you can buy that you attach to your mouse that keeps the green light on. I’d look into that. It’s crazy pants not to be able to go make a cup of tea, do a few yoga sun salutations or even – gasp – step out on the porch for a few deep breaths of fresh air.

      • Anon

        That’s insanity. Can you and your colleagues push back against this? It’s just not reasonable to expect you to never ever step away from your computer.

      • Anon

        Can’t you just adjust the settings so that you have like a 15 minute grace period or something?

    • Anon

      I am so feeling this as defense-side litigation attorney. I have huge discovery projects I can work on that feel like they have been going on forever with no end in sight, but the fun stuff (mediations, hearings, depositions) are only occurring remotely and at a much slower pace than usual, so I am having a really hard time staying focused and billing my hours. It has been so difficult and it feels like there is no end in sight. Everything you are saying about guilt and anxiety surrounding this I am feeling, as well.

  13. Fiber-optic ROI

    Just before the pandemic, I bought a house in a very remote location. Just last night, I noticed “no dig” flags implying there is a fiber-optic trunk cable nearby. I’m sure we would have to pay out of pocket to lay it to the house, which would be considerable cost, but it’s a pretty exciting stroke of luck to have the possibility at all!

    My question here is: what would be the ballpark ROI? How much more would you pay for a house where you can fully WFH with good internet? At the moment satellite is perfectly fine for us, so this is mostly a resale investment.

    • Anonymous

      I wouldn’t even consider a house without non-satellite internet. Id consider this a necessity and be calling and asking any workers I saw how to get on the list.

    • IL

      This is probably too unscientific an answer to help – there are too many factors – but we went with a house on 1 acre property having town water, Comcast, and a modern heating system over a second house with 4+ acres with a brook and a built-in library that was $30,000 cheaper. Some portion of that $30,000 extra we paid was for the cable+internet.

      I imagine your house would also sell faster, which may be the more important factor for you when you decide to sell. Houses routinely sit on the market for over a year out here, in non-pandemic times.

      • Fiber-optic ROI

        Before we bought this house it sat for about 2 years in a hot market, although I think a big part of that was a bad seller’s agent and terrible cosmetics. We’re planning to stay “forever” but I know that means if we have to sell it will probably be under some pressure.

      • Jeffiner

        Yes, my husband and I passed on a beautiful property that would have been great to build a house on because high-speed internet was not an option. We agreed its a dealbreaker for us going forward, although for now we’ve decided to stay in the suburbs.

    • Cat

      I would not consider purchasing a property that’s off the grid because, work demands being what they are, we wouldn’t be able to use it at all regularly until we retire.

      • Fiber-optic ROI

        I don’t think that’s what off-grid means…but thanks for the response, I do understand what you mean.

        • Cat

          I know “off the grid” generally refers to things like water, electric, sewer, etc — was using it here to emphasize how strongly we feel that good internet is now an equivalent basic utility :)

    • Anon

      Why do you think it is a fiber optic line as opposed to something else? Can you contact the city/county and find out if it is actually a fiber optic line?

      • Anonymous

        The signs say “don’t dig, buried fiber optic cable”. This would be a reasonable route for a trunk line between the nearest two cities. And yes, I am absolutely planning to call the utility company phone number listed, but it’s a holiday weekend.

    • Anon

      I don’t think it translates to $$ necessarily, but the quote a friend of mine got to run the lien from the street to her long house was $20K. If you have a large property, it’s not necessarily cheap to connect.

    • Anonymous

      Stringing a wire from my house to the one 400 yards down the road along already installed poles was $5,000 and a 6 month wait. DSL was free and immediate. We went with DSL. It is enough for working from home, even with video calls, but as my kids get older we will have to shell out for the high speed line.

    • Cosmonaut

      Are you within the coverage area for Starlink, Elon Musk’s low Earth orbit constellation? It would be a big speed improvement over whatever satellite internet you have now at a significantly lower cost than running a fiber line.

  14. anon4this

    My post on friday got stuck in mod, so here goes again.

    My husband will be a sixth year next year at a biglaw firm with a 7 year partnership track. He would like to go on reduced hours. He usually bills about 2200 annually – 2100 to get a market bonus at his firm with a 1900 minimum. He’s one of the best associates in his class, if not the best.

    We have two young kids and he wants more time at home with them. We’ve been very fortunate financially and live in a LCOL city with over $2mm in NW in our early 30’s. We have no debt except our mortgage. We’re concerned if going on 70% or 80% time means less job security. He doesn’t care about partnership, but what’s the incentive in the long run for the firm to keep him around if he’s on reduced hours? He says his ideal role would be to do all the “lawyering” i.e. pushing hard when cases need them, but having the ability to say no to new cases and without the business development pressure of being partner. Is that too idealistic? Does this even exist in biglaw? Given how high the salary jumps are in biglaw, I have to think at some point, him being paid permanently like a 4th/5th year with his experience would be attractive to firms?

    His firm is already very flexible and has a great culture, but there’s only so much time you can have when you’re billing 2200 hours a year.

    TIA.

    • Anon

      A lot of firms have positions like this for “Of Counsel.” Typically, it is women that have these positions, but I have seen a growing number of men taking them as well. I’m at a smaller firm, but we have an “Of Counsel” that is a man who chose the role for similar reasons as what your husband is discussing. He loves being a lawyer and didn’t want to go in-house but has no desire to take on a management role or do business development. The firm hired him primarily because we have a lot of older partners and younger senior associates, so there is just a big experience gap. He primarily does a lot of the work that a partner would do– trials, expert depos, important witness depos, etc.– but ultimately has no decision making authority on the files.

      Another person I know moved from a partner position to “Of Counsel” at another firm. She took her clients with her and is still doing partner-level work. Her Of Counsel role just comes with different hourly expectations and compensation. She is also no longer involved in management.

      So yes, this type of role exists, but it may not exist at your husband’s current firm.

      • OP

        Yes, his firm has them. Thank you, that makes sense. Is there a big salary cut for of counsel? If you’re in a traditional biglaw setting, are we still talking $250k+ for of counsel?

        • Cat

          You’re no longer lockstep (bonuses included) so you have to negotiate for yourself… but based on anecdata I’d expect the comp to be similar to midlevel associates.

        • Anon

          What kind of lifestyle are you leading in an LCOL area that it matters? With your stated assets, he could cut back to Public Defender salary and you could still live a perfectly nice life and have a good retirement. If he wants fewer hours, don’t worry about the pay cut. You’ll be fine.

      • Cat

        Of Counsel is definitely the description for this, but it’s not a magic solution to work life balance or firm happiness. Based on my Biglaw tenure and those of a few friends-
        -It tends to mean that clients that love to complain about the bill but are slow to pay (and often demanding) get shunted to them, because the partners don’t think they’re worth the trouble.
        -They tend to work mostly on their own and can struggle to get associate help (because partners basically get “first dibs” particularly on well-regarded associates, and associates also know that partners hold more sway, so prioritize work from them).
        -They do participate in business development efforts to keep their own reputation up, though obviously not the same pressure as trying to make equity partner.

        I would say the role works best when you’re a niche expert (ex patent prosecution, tax or benefits advice, real estate). Then, you get a steady stream of “good client has a specific issue” work that usually isn’t super time sensitive.

    • 4eyes

      Totally depends on the firm and the practice group. Also can depend on current state of politics. I saw one corporate associate keep a reduced hour schedule for years, until practice group politics changed and the practice group leadership, which was located in another city, decided they didn’t have a spot for a long term reduced hours associate. And local goodwill was not sufficient to save her job. Meanwhile I’ve been on reduced hours for 5 years in same firm (starting when I was a sixth year), different practice group and it works for me. He should talk to people who’ve done it and ask for advice. He will also need support from partners.

    • Anon

      Is there anybody at his firm who has gone part time he can talk to? I think the big concern when going part time is getting paid less and still having to do the same amount of work.

    • Anon

      Are there any state or federal government jobs that may be of interest in your area? I think of counsel and reduced hours are not likely to work and make him happy long-term for the reasons folks have mentioned.

  15. Anonymous

    Please give me some perspective, because maybe I’m judging too harshly. I have known a few single men without kids in their 40s and 50s, friends and an ex-boyfriend, who don’t own thermometers, band aids, or any basic first aid supplies, during a pandemic. Is this normal for single folks who aren’t responsible for other people? I talked to one of my male friends who lives alone in another state, with no family or support network there, who seems to have several of the common symptoms of covid-19. He won’t go to the drive-through testing because “it’s cold outside”, and he said he’s been sweating some so he thinks he has a fever (I guess burning a fever off) but he doesn’t really know because he doesn’t have a thermometer. He’s in his 50s. I’m worried about him but can’t really help except to call him. Is this a normal thing, to be a fully grown adult but not have basic stuff for illness/injury? I don’t have any single female friends who don’t have kids or parents they are caring for, and I know all my female friends have that stuff on hand, plus more, because we’ve talked about our pandemic supplies.

    • Anon

      It’s culturally normal for men to receive absolutely no training or education in basic caretaking, yes. I think this is one reason why men are often either somewhat hypochondriac or alternatively deny all symptoms and have to be dragged to the doctor. Sometimes men learn when they themselves have kids, but most girls were taught these things growing up.

    • Ribena

      I didn’t have a thermometer until the start of the pandemic. I probably have some plasters somewhere but couldn’t lay my hands on them if I needed them…. but then I’m in my 20s, not 40s.

      • Anon

        +1 In my 40s and with kids, but I didn’t own a thermometer until the start of the pandemic.

    • Anon

      Single 40’s woman here. I have a thermometer because I guess I picked one up at some point in the past. TBH, I have no idea where it came from. Found out the hard way last year that my box of band-aids hadn’t made the move when I bought my current house, so I held a washcloth on the wound and went to CVS. Now I have band-aids. There are weeks I practically live on diet Coke and Aleve, so that’s covered. There are cold meds in my cupboard leftover from a previous cold, but who knows if/when they expired. I don’t have a purpose-built first aid kit, but enough odds and ends that I can deal with what comes up and if I don’t have it, can order what I need or just suck it up.

      • Anon

        I’m 41, my husband is 50, and this is a very accurate description of our “medicine box” too.

    • Shananana

      I am 38 and didn’t own a thermometer until very recently. I am single with no children and if I thought I was sick I stayed home prior to pandemic times. I do always keep wound care stuff though as I am very accident prone. Outside of pain killers though, if I have any other medication in my house its because its leftover from the last time I was sick. I get sick maybe once or twice a year, and it always seems like the meds expire between when I need them. So, I think it is partly a male thing, and partly a no dependent thing.

    • Anonymous

      Well, I can’t answer for anybody else, but speaking for myself as a single female with responsibility mainly for myself, sure I have a thermometer. I don’t think you’d necessarily think to get one unless you have had really bad fever at some point yourself, though.

      I also have things like basic painkillers/nurofen, plasters, blister pads, a couple of first aid kits (so burn, cut and hypothermia stuff) and, more recently, a pulse oxymeter. I consider my kit very basic, apart from the last one, which is the only pandemic specific/new item.

      Your friend probably also has a first aid kit – if he’s got a car. (I’m assuming that’s obligatory in the US as well.) But I have found that a few grown men just go into denial with cold/flue stuff, sort of an opposite man flu reaction.

      • Anonymous

        I have never considered a first aid kit in the car to be obligatory. I do stash sneakers and a pair of waterproof boots in there now, after having to walk home in an ice storm once.

      • anonshmanon

        Unfortunately, vehicle first aid kits are neither obligatory nor are they a cultural norm.

        • Anon

          I’ve always thought of them as an absolute sine qua non! I did grow up in a largish family though, and we definitely used ours from time to time.

      • Pep

        Some car brands include them, or offer them as an option. My Toyota had one, but my Mazda does not.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t have a thermometer and you can go jump in a lake with your judgment about that. Isn’t it exhausting being this holier-than-thou?

    • Cat

      This does not seem at all surprising to me. We’re 30’s DINKs and only have a thermometer because my mom included one in my “off to college” starter medicine kit. We do keep basic medication “in stock,” though, like painkillers, cold relief and cough drops, GI upset, etc.

      I’d dial back the judgies on his medical supplies and save them for why he literally won’t go to a drive-thru test.

    • Anon

      Single woman who no children here and I have practically a whole pharmacy in my house. I like to be prepared. I think men just aren’t conditioned to take care of themselves.

    • Anony

      I’m 37 and only have a thermometer because it was a promo product that I randomly picked up somewhere; no idea where or how long I’ve had it. I have basic first aid items on hand but no cold/flu meds. I only get sick maybe once or twice a year, so don’t really worry about it. If I needed something, I’d just go get it/order it/have someone pick it up for me or just deal.

      • Anon

        We buy band aids and painkillers (because they do get used), but I’m pretty sure everything else in our first aid basket is just there because it came from some sort of promotion or give-away of some sort. And I’m married with children. We really don’t need these things very often. (Most of what’s in there probably pre-dates the elementary-school-age kids.)

    • Anonymous

      In my opinion, unless you are staying home and quarantining for two weeks anytime you might feel like you have a fever, I think responsible adults should all have thermometers during this pandemic so you can check if you have a fever as it’s a covid symptom (and could help you know if you have it for your own peace of mind and to not infect others). So yes I agree with you I would side eye a little bit if someone ten months into this pandemic hadn’t thought to buy a thermometer

      • Anonymous

        +1 The video doc screening for Covid asks for your temperature. Please don’t wait until you think you have Covid to go buy a thermometer!

    • anonymous

      I don’t know what basic first aid supplies you’d definitely need to have on hand just because we’re in a pandemic. It’s not a zombie apocalypse. You’re not going to need a band aid or first aid supplies for covid. No one I know who has had covid has said, “oh help, without gauze and medical tape and Neosporin, I am powerless against my symptoms.” I’m single and don’t own a thermometer. I do have bandaids and a random assortment of cold medicines. My general philosophy is that if I need cold medicine, I’ll go get it. I don’t worry about keeping an active stock (although it’s nice to have) because it’s easy enough to just grab some if needed. Your friend’s issue is that he’s not getting tested when he needs to. This resistance isn’t coming from the fact that he’s single, it’s coming from somewhere else — laziness, lack of prioritizing his self-care, fear of getting a positive result, depression, feeling overwhelmed, who knows. It’s not because he’s single.

    • Anon

      Who are these lucky and/or extremely coordinated people who never need bandaids? I cut myself constantly! I kind of get the thermometer thing, though, since most cheap thermometers are always dying on me or giving measurements that make no sense and I see why people wouldn’t bother. I have painkillers and sudafed and allergy meds around because I take them regularly, but other stuff expires, and it doesn’t make sense to have if you don’t ever use it, though I think the calculus changes a little in a global pandemic when there’s a reasonable chance of having to quarantine and not be able to go out and get things when you need them.

    • Thermo

      I’m a single woman in my 40s, and I’ve got plenty of band-aids because I’m the sort of person who tends to scrape up their hands without even noticing. I’ve got a thermometer but it’s got to be 10+ years old; I pulled it out at the beginning of the pandemic but before that probably hadn’t used it much.

      Pre-pandemic, as an adult, if you had a slight fever you likely had the flu or a bad cold, and you basically just need to rest and maybe take tylenol – if it gets high enough that you need to go to the doc/ER you will know it from the way you feel without needing a thermometer. So I don’t really find that particularly surprising.

      If he doesn’t feel that horrible and he can just stay home, getting tested is maybe not that urgent. I’d recommend he contact his doctor and see what they recommend for his particular location.

    • Anon

      I don’t think it’s at all unusual for men to not put any effort into this kind of thing. The first few years I was living on my own (early 20s) I didn’t have a thermometer until I got sick and wanted to take my temperature. I’ve definitely had one since then.

    • Anonymous

      I went off to college with a medicine box that included a thermometer, basic first aid supplies, and OTC meds. But I didn’t have a car or another way to get to a drugstore, and I had spent most of my senior year of high school sick with strep, bronchitis, etc., so I wanted to be prepared. Normal single adults who just get a little cold every now and then probably don’t feel the need to keep a thermometer on hand.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a late 20s married home owner who is child free by choice and I don’t own a thermometer. I just don’t see a use for it. Also this post drips of distain for non-parents.

    • Anon

      I”m in my 20s and I was shocked how many friends (mostly female, but I also didn’t discuss owning thermometers with male friends) didn’t own thermometers until the pandemic (and then they had trouble getting them for a while, all have them now). I’m way less cautious than many of my friends (I’m a bit of a risk taker) but I’ve always had a very well stocked first aid kit (in my home, in my office, in my car*, and keep bandaids/advil in my purse). My friends (male and female) are all pretty active so I’d imagine that everyone has bandaids and other first aid supplies at a minimum.

      * I drive my car almost never, but when I do drive, it’s to go hiking or other outdoor activities so its helpful to have an ace bandage, bandaids, neosporin, etc. in the car

    • waffles

      I’m in my mid-40s, husband in his late 40s. I would never buy a thermometer. Pre-pandemic, I was pretty good with knowing if I’m sick or not… and an accurate temperature check wasn’t going to convince me to stay in bed if I felt fine or to get out of bed if I felt bad. So I never really saw the point. My husband probably has four thermometers because he likes to check his temperature. Shrug. Not sure it means anything about his or my ability to function as an adult, besides him being more paranoid about sickness.

      During COVID, of course we have both been paranoid… I still am not checking my temperature at home though….

    • Anon

      Single female, mid 30s and I could open a private pharmacy – I keep a decent stock of painkillers (capsules, topicals, migraine), allergy meds, cold&flu medicine, first aid kits, some testing papers, UTI meds, cold sore meds, and topicals for skin irritation. All in one big ikea storage box and I keep basic med (migraine, allergy, eye drops, nasal spray, sore throat and cold sore meds) at work (in the before times). I do not have a thermometer, as I get temperature very rarely (think 1x decade) and when I have it, I don’t need a thermometer to tell me that. I am also the person people go to at work if they need some meds, which is why I keep more stuff than I would need for personal use. Disclaimer: I work in a pharma company, so def biased.

    • Jeffiner

      I didn’t buy a thermometer until I got pregnant with my first kid. We went to visit my in-laws when baby was about one, and didn’t pack the thermometer. Kid started feeling sick, and my mother-in-law dug around and finally found one of those old school mercury thermometers from when my husband was little. Before the pandemic, a thermometer was just not something adults needed to keep around. If an adult feels sick, take some OTC meds, drink some fluids, and stay in bed.

    • anon

      I’m 30, married, and don’t own any of that stuff (i.e., first aid, medical supplies) Don’t know if that’s normal- I can’t think of the last time I’ve been sick since like, maybe early childhood? I had a cold in college with a stuffy/runny nose and cough once. I have occasionally bought band aids when I get a particularly deep cut.

  16. Anon

    Has anyone tried making their own flaxseed hair gel? Did you notice that it caused any skin irritation? I want to try this, but I am worried about breakouts.

    • Anon

      I used to do this. I did not have any skin irritation, though I was generally applying it to the ends/length of my hair and not the roots.

      In my case, I was using homemade flaxseed gel because I have curly hair that doesn’t need to be washed more than 2-3 times a week. It started to feel like I was constantly making flaxseed gel because it would go bad before I could use it at that rate. I eventually started buying flaxseed hair gel from a store for the convenience of it having preservatives.

  17. Senior Attorney paging Friday's bread baker

    What did you end up doing with the bread that was ahead of schedule, and how did it turn out? Inquiring minds want to know…

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