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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This dress is so pretty — I can’t quite understand why the model looks so grumpy. The print is gorgeous (apparently the artist based it on “classic porcelain patterns”), and I really like the ruffles, which are feminine without being over the top.
I would wear this to work with a navy blazer and a brown belt. If you like the dress but aren’t in love with the print, Tory Burch does some version of it every season, so keep your eyes peeled for the next iteration.
The dress is $398 and available in sizes 00–14. Deneuve Dress
This more affordable option from Gap Factory is on sale for $40.97; with code GFEXTRA it comes down to $28.68. This dress from Marée Pour Toi is available in 14W–26W.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
What are the splurges/indulgence purchase that have had the biggest pay off in your life? What splurges were a disappointment?
My best was regular facials before covid (can’t wait until I can go back!). My most disappointing were my allbirds.
Cb
Our Sage tea maker, we bought it after our wedding and honestly, it’s the best thing we’ve ever bought. Tea is always brewed perfectly and stays warm. And my Topeak system for my bike, I can swap out a baby seat for a substantial basket really easily. I bought a saucepan, pillow, and a knife set the other day and got them all home on my bike.
Ses
I read this as “saucepan-pillow-knife set” and thought, dang – Aldi’s really bringing it these days.
Aft
Nespresso (espresso maker) and milk frother so I can make cappuccinos at home. Now that I’ve been working from home for 5+ months, it’s a little indulgence that give me some joy and replaces/d the starbucks run I otherwise used at the office.
Least payoff: I realized in just not a shoe person, so don’t bother buying more expensive shoes – cheaper ones look/feel as good and wear as well for me.
Cb
I’m the same on the shoes. I’m just really hard on them and don’t find that more expensive shoes hold up that much better than cheaper shoes. Converse sneakers, Merrell boots, my random TJMaxx finds are all fine for day to day wear for me. It helps I’m in academia, as long as I’m not wearing sandals with socks, no one will judge.
Anon
In academia and you will pry my Birks and socks off my cold, comfy, dead feet.
anon
Hey, you do you, but you can’t blame academia for all your sind!
Anon
Hear me out: Tevas and hiking socks (not for work, but for casual)
9:19 Anon
Also, splurging on real Birks and good wool socks is my extravagance with the biggest payoff in quality of life. I’m a simple creature.
Clementine
The things that always make me happiest are the things that free up time for me. So specifically, I would say having a monthly cleaning service and home exercise equipment are my indulgences that make me happiest.
The most disappointing are probably the Frye riding boots that I lusted after for a long time, finally bought, and realized after wearing for a year or two that the foot shape isn’t comfortable for me and also I can’t put an insert in to change that. Also, now that we’re not wearing black knee high riding boots, they just stare at me.
Anonymous
I’ve got a pair of black knee-high riding-type boots that my guess is will come back in style and one of my tweens takes them; or they don’t come back in style and the tweens start wearing them ironically. I am not expecting to wear them again. But they are LaCanadiennes, so of good quality and waterproof should we have a very wet or bad winter and I need something for just getting around on sidewalks. I can’t imagine wearing them inside as legit footwear though. :(
Carrie
They will be back in style. Timeless, actually.
Anonymous
I recently inherited a pair of knee high Frye boots from my grandmother. She bought them in the last 70’s and they are gorgeous. I wear them un-ironically :)
Anonie
I was just joking last week with friends about how my unborn/future children BETTER appreciate my hundreds of dollars worth of Frye boots currently sitting in my closet that I am saving in hopes that they become stylish some day.
I really feel misled…was everyone else also under the impression leather riding boots were an timeless staple that would never go out of fashion?
Anonie
*a* timeless staple
Anonymous
I feel like maybe yes, as a category, but that is N/A to individual boots. Platforms? No. Too-chunky heel? No. Too-skinny heel? Also no. Heel too flat? Heel too tall? Stretchy panel in the back? Loose around your ankles? Shaft possibly too high in relation to knee (problem for us shorter people). There are too many d*mn nuances. Leather? Suede? The fact that Kate Middleton wore them? Also not a guarantee.
Anon
Maybe this is a regional thing? I’m in Boston and they will always have a purpose in my wardrobe. They’re timeless and functional as far as I’m concerned.
Ribena
I wear knee high riding-style boots all winter. They are warm as all get out and that’s important to me!
CPA Lady
Best: yeti tumbler and tempurpedic mattress
Meh: “fancy” (ish) car — I’m just not into cars and I was just as happy with the Honda I had before this one
OP
I own a Toyota that’s about 15 years old. I bought it two years ago and I honestly do not understand the desire to drop $$$ on a new or fancy car. I’m going to be on team used Toyota forever (probably in the future a certified preowned thats 2-3 years old)
Anonymous
By contrast, my bmw definitely improves my daily life (although less than when I was constantly driving all over the five boroughs for work). I drove a used Honda for years and bought an almost new bmw suv with cash after the mortgage was paid off.
The difference was like night and day. It’s comfortable, it’s pleasant to be in and it is literally fun to drive. I’m not much for status but I do love that I can drive around the ritzy neighborhoods in my area without the private community police following me. My husband loved it so much he bought a similar model.
Anon
I’m the opposite because I love my fancy car! I didn’t consider myself a car person even after I got it, but I used my husbands Honda the other day and realized how much I love even the simple things about mine.
same!
Same! And it doesn’t help that my purchase was just as covid hit, so I haven’t driven it hardly at all. I drove an Accord for over a decade, put over 150k miles on it, and the engine was still going strong. But the paint was starting to fade and spot after several years of direct sunlight and rain from parking on the street. We wanted to get something with all-wheel drive, but I still wanted a sedan-style car. I ended up with a used Audi with less than half the miles of my Accord, but several neighbors commented about the upgrade.
Senior Attorney
I’m another who loves my fancy car. I drove underpowered Nissans and the like for years and when I finally got a car that could really GO I was in seventh heaven! Plus I love all the comfort features and the great sound system and all.
Anon
Petite size wooden hangers, enough for my entire wardrobe. I added rubber grips so that slippery items don’t slide off. The consistency makes it easier to hang things and keeps items from getting lost between bigger hangers. The size means no more bumps on my upper sleeve from a hanger that is too large. Pleasing aesthetically when I look in my closet, as well.
Anonymous
Link, please!
I have really narrow shoulders and am tired of hangers poking them to the point of denting the fabric or otherwise pulling things too tight. Kids hangers are too small.
Anon
https://www.woodenhangersusa.com/natural-chrome-wood-hangers/180-petite-small-space-saver-smart-hanger.html
I think that, if there were a blog post featuring their hangers, they would give a discount code. Maybe that’s an idea for a future post.
Anon
Yes please! Love the idea of featuring hangers for we petite-shouldered gals. I had no idea that smaller hangers were a thing!
Anon
How much smaller are petite hangers? Standard ones are the exact width of my shoulders and I wear an XS or S t-shirt.
aBr
Better bath towels and a new robe. It’s 2020, the standards for “biggest pay off” are low…
Anon
Dyson vacuums are the best and worth the higher price.
Anon
+1
Anonymous
I bought a good set of knives for my parents for Christmas years ago. Their knives are terrible. But my Mom didn’t think she needed a new set. Instead of returning them, I have them the cash and kept them. Those knives are great. I love always having a good knife for whatever I’m doing in the kitchen.
For cars, I have an Audi Q5 — 8 years old now. I love it, but would not spend that much on a car again. I don’t drive that much and the name and bells and whistles are not that important to me.
Anon
I’m thinking of getting a new knife set. Even though its an MLM, my MIL swears by Cutco. What knives did you get?
JTM
I love my Cutco knives – like a lot of my friends, I got sucked into a “job” selling them back in college, but I was so impressed with them that when I became an adult, I found a college student selling them and bought a nice set. They’re about 10yrs old now and have been sharpened a few times but still look amazing.
Elbe
+1000 My parents had them and now we do too. Lifetime guarantee is real and they sharpen them for free.
Jules
I also have Cutco, bought from a local kid who I was trying to support, and much more than I ever wanted to spend. But I love them.
Clementine
Hahah! I was at my mom’s house last night and noticing that the Cutco knives which I sold as a club fundraiser in high school – so almost 20 years ago (wait, WHAT?) – are still going strong.
Anon
I should add that I’m not sure Cutco is actually an MLM so much as it direct sales to your friends and family. My complaint with the company is they advertise like it is a “real” job and then surprise you after you get there that you are selling knives to everyone you know. My friend’s niece is currently selling them. Maybe I should go forth with a virtual appointment. When you say way more than you wanted to spend, how much are we talking?
Anon
AND I should have googled first. I have my answer.
Anon
My (empty) 2015 Subaru Outback was wrecked in a hit and run last winter. I had insurance for a replacement vehicle while the Subaru was in the shop, and on the appointed day a rental car agency delivered an interim vehicle for me to use: an Audi Q5. I didn’t think I was a person that cared about fancy cars, but man oh man, now I see what the excitement is about and why people are willing to invest so much in certain cars. That Audi was so comfortable! So easy and fun to drive! I would personally never spend that much on a car—but I loved my weeks with the Audi. I didn’t think it was possible to actually the thought of driving somewhere.
anon
Best: down pillows, nonstick All-Clad pans, AirPods
Disappointing: Allbirds (not enough support), Manduka Pro yoga mat (so slippery!)
Anonymous
My Manduka Pro took a year to break in before it became less slippery.
anon
Thank you for this — I will keep trying!
Anon
Biggest payoff was a $65k kitchen remodel when we moved into our current home. It seemed a bit frivolous at the time because the kitchen was completely functional and all the upgrades we made were cosmetic, but it makes me happy every day and now feels so worth it (especially in Covid times where we don’t leave our house). And I’m so glad we did it before moving in and didn’t have to live there during the reno.
Worst was a Burberry trench coat. I wanted to be a person whose lifestyle requires a beautiful coat like that, but I’m just not. I never was, but now I’m really not. Since I bought the coat, I’ve moved to the small town in the Midwest, switched to a business casual industry, had kids, and now thanks to Covid I’m permanently work from home so now I only get dressed to do daycare drop off, which is not exactly a Burberry trench coat kind of occasion.
anne-on
If it helps, part of the appeal of the trench coat is that it is never out of style – you can wear it in 10 years, or your daughter/nieces can steal it in 20 ;)
I actually just bought a nicer trench myself as my Banana Republic one from 2010 ish finally gave up the ghost. I love how a trench over a schlubby outfit instantly looks waaaay more put together.
Anon
Yeah, I hear you. I just think a cute BR trench would fit my lifestyle so much better. The Burberry one feels so ostentatious to me now. Probably a lot of people I see wouldn’t even recognize it or know how much it cost, but I still feel very self-conscious about it.
Anon
I say make it a Burberry trench coat occasion!! ;)
Anon
I don’t know if this is the BIGGEST pay off in my life, but I started doing the Urban O/Anthro/FP clothing rental Nuuly last year and it honestly brings me a lot of joy and has cut down a lot on my random clothing spend. I’ve even been doing it all during stay-at-home I like it so much. It’s cheaper and more casual (probably somewhat more funky?) than RTR’s service, but in Before Times I usually would have at least a couple of items from my Nuuly each month I could wear to work.
For a splurge…when we moved into our first purchased house, we paid a lot of money for professionally installed really nice cellular shades. Fast forward to now in a new house we just bought some off the internet and my husband installed them, same result. I try not to think of the $$ differential, yikes.
Anon
I’m surprised at how much my Nespresso killed my Starbucks habit. There’s almost nothing at Starbucks that I can’t make at home in 3 minutes for a fifth of the price.
I used to get massages. Those were not really great for me: I had a few masseuses who were unprofessional and the massages didn’t help much.
Formerly Lilly
Best: Towel warmer. Incredibly thick towels from Restoration Hardware. It’s a heavenly combination.
Most disappointing: Chanel body lotion in one of the new, “lighter” scents. “Lighter” is certainly a subjective term, and I should have known I wouldn’t care for it.
And a huge thank you to Anon at 8:47 for the hanger recommendation!
anon
Splurge with the biggest payoff: Biweekly house cleaning. It feels so good to walk into a perfectly clean home. It hasn’t eliminated all cleaning, of course, but it’s easier to maintain the house on a daily basis when I know it’ll all get done anyway if my time/energy run out.
I don’t regret any of my Athleta workout clothing splurges. I wear them the most because the fabric is so fantastic and the brand fits me really well. The Old Navy and Target stuff is NOT the same. I work out 5x a week, so it’s worth it to me.
I many several shoe regrets, mainly because my feet are difficult to fit. I’ve learned my lesson and a) no longer buy super cheap shoes but not the most expensive ones, either, in case they don’t work out; b) stick to a few brands and not even bother with the rest.
I also regret a Patagonia winter coat purchase. The coat itself is lovely, but I’ve realized that the Patagonia brand doesn’t fit me all that well. So I feel frumpy and lumpy and low-key hate it even though I paid quite a lot for it. I really should just sell the thing.
NYNY
After long covid delays, finally got the Avocado mattress and Thuma bed frame we ordered at the start of July, and they are life-changing. The old bed was killing my back, making me overheat, and causing insomnia. Seriously, best purchase ever.
With WFH seeming to go on indefinitely, I’m feeling like the Hugo Boss suit I got in the spring may be my worst splurge, but I suppose that remains to be seen…
Anon
I bought myself a nice kitchen knife, and it was so worth it because I cook so much.
Not worth it- le creuset skillet. It sticks horribly for me, is super heavy, and I hate getting it out and hoisting it around time clean it.
Sunshine
Biggest pay offs:
1. Laser hair removal for underarm and bikini
2. Thinx period underwear (they’re not expensive, but more than I usually spend on underwear)
3. Rhinoplasty
4. Dyson cordless vac
I don’t have much in the disappointment category because I don’t buy a lot. But mabye our couch that we spent more on than I would have liked and it often looks tired. Oh, and the resort where we went for our honeymoon—so much money and so not worth it considering the price.
I love these threads and I always pick up tips/trick/things to try.
Anon
Great Splurge: tip top kitchen items like Le Creuset, All Clad, Henckels top-of-the-line knives. They’re hardly splurges any more because they’re such work horses they’ve paid for themselves, but I did have sticker shock at first.
Bad splurge: expensive skincare. None of the privy OTC paid off in results. Curology Rx (not pricey) + drugstore brands for the win.
Anonymous
Similarly, I don’t regret any kitchen splurges – Vitamix, good knives, Le Creuset, etc. My roommate in law school could not understand why I had spent hundreds of dollars on a Calphalon pots and pans set that couldn’t go into the dishwasher, but I still have and use that entire set today, 20+ years later.
Anon
I bought all new things for my kitchen when my first husband left and took everything. Everything. Our wedding gift Revere pans and Chicago Cutlery knives.
I asked my friend whose husband is a chef what I should buy. He said All Clad Pans and Henckels knives. I bought both on a credit card and had a minor heart attack at the price, but I was also in a f*** it mood. That was 1998. I have only replaced the paring knife.
Le Creuset has been a one pot at a time hobby since about 2002.
Very happy with all of them.
Anonymous
Hmmmm — bought a set of Calphalon pots 10+ years ago after taking a cooking course at their store (was a great course) and put them in the dishwasher all the time. Oops!
Formerly Lilly
I’m still using almost every day a Henckel chefs knife that I bought in 1989. I’ve had to replace the sharpener, but not the knife.
Anonyz
My splurge item fits both of your categories. I absolutely cherished my early model Mini Cooper, and poured a lot of money into restoring it. Within two weeks of getting it back from the shop, I demolished it on a GD rat with hooves. Die, Bambi, die.
Anonymous
Sorry.
My mom has killed more deer this way than many hunters. And it’s always with a paid-off car :(
pugsnbourbon
My dad says “watch for deer” instead of “I love you.” Yes, we are Midwestern.
anon
Best: my Great Dane.
Worst: Fancy makeup/hair products. I want to be the person who uses them, instead of eye cream/moisturizer/lipstick and a messy bun.
anon
Best: All-Clad pots and pans (purchased during sales on the Cookwarenmore site, but still a lot more expensive than I’ve paid for kitchen stuff in the past). I finally understand deglazing! And they are amazingly easy to clean, I wish I’d understood that in my previous, non-stick-only life.
Worst: Our Boll & Branch mattress. Not because it was bad, but because it’s just fine and for that we could have gotten a much less expensive one.
Anonymous
My very pricey gym membership is the biggest pay off. I consistently work out now and have changed my lifestyle for the better as a result. My St. John dress is the most disappointing. It is beautiful on the hanger, and I got it for probably 60% off, but it didn’t really flatter me before and now, even if I get it tailored to fit better, I just don’t know when I will ever wear it.
Bonnie Kate
Love threads like this!
Best splurge: Apple AirPods. I would have never bought them for myself but my husband brought them home for me one day and I can’t get over how much I love them/how easy they are to use. I thought they were ridiculous when they came out but they put me back in apple fangirl territory.
Most disappointing: Dyson cordless vacuum – which makes me laugh since I see that’s the best for some of you. I hate all vacuums/vacuuming (and have a little golden retriever/cocker spaniel so need to not hate it so much), so I really hoped the Dyson would change my life… and it really didn’t. We’re building a house right now though and I did have an outlet installed in the closet so I can hang/charge it properly in an easy to get spot, so maybe that will change my mind then.
Anon
+1 your entire AirPod story is the same as mine.
Senior Attorney
Best: My amazing pre-COVID destination 60th birthday party. We ended up with about 60 people on a chartered party boat cruising around New York Harbor, with dinner and dancing and much merriment. It was two years ago and it still makes me happy to think about it, especially in these trying no trips, no parties times. Plus my friends still talk about it and remember it fondly.
Worst: The very expensive designer evening purse I bought that same weekend. Ssshh.. don’t tell my sweet husband but it’s a tiny bit too small to be practical, and when will anybody ever need an evening purse again anyway?
Amelia Bedelia
your life makes me smile! I want to make sure I have it some day!
My best purchase: splurging for weekly house cleaning. It has seriously changed my life. My house always feels clean, and we keep it fairly tidy knowing the cleaners come every single week. combine that with my dyson cordless, and I can tidy up toddler crumbs so easily each day. LOVE
My worst: my apple watch. I hate it. I hate the look of it and I hate feeling so connected even when I put my phone down. Hate, Hate, Hate.
Senior Attorney
If you need permission to get rid of the apple watch, I hereby give it to you!!
(Which reminds me, I hate my Nest thermostat! It thinks it knows me but it doesn’t know me at all…)
Anon
Lol about the Nest. I think there’s an expansive market for Nest: Menopausal Edition.
anon
Best: my imported European dressage horse (I know, I know, it’s ridiculous). I’ve been a rider my whole life but mostly riding other people’s hand-me-downs or problem horses. After putting myself through college and law school and working stupid hours, I realized I could finally afford a modest version of my dream horse. I’ve had him for 7+ years and he’s brought me so much joy, and I’ve met so many new friends through the local horse community, it’s really been life-changing. Now, of course he eats money and the cost of acquisition is minuscule compared to the cost of his upkeep, but still.
Worst: expensive uncomfortable work clothing. I now work in a more casual environment so I will never wear my formal work clothes again (save one interview suit) but I have sunk so much money into it, it feels wrong to get rid of it. I’m likely going to donate most of it to Dress for Success or a similar org.
Sloan Sabbith
Best: Good espresso machine with a real milk frother. Now that I’ve figured out how to use it, I don’t need to go get a coffee in the AM.
Also, AirPod Pros. They have made working from my parents’ house tolerable.
Worst: Instant Pot. I don’t cook.
Ribena
My worst is probably also the Instant Pot but for the opposite reason – I love to cook and have never managed to integrate it into my life.
Lobbyist
Peloton bike for the win. Love that thing. Also, Veronica Beard blazers.
Anonymous
Best splurge: a doggy jogger/stroller so I can still run with my aging dog.
Anonymous
Late to the party but I upgraded my builder grade dishwasher to a BOSCH right before COVID and with all the cooking & dishes I’m doing it has really been worth it. It was that or Feragamo shoes and I think I made the better choice.
La Di Dah
Worth it: Botox and expensive creams (retin A, Vitamin C Serum etc)
Not Worth It: LV Epi Leather Tote.
Anon
Does anyone have a recommendation for laser hair removal in Philly ? Looking to start with my underarms and bikini line. If that goes well, I’ll likely do my legs as well.
Anon
I don’t but I have the same question! If you ever do go please report back.
Cb
I’m loving newsletters at the moment – what blogs used to be before everyone became influencers. What newsletters do you subscribe to and enjoy? I like Ann Friedman’s and find Anne Helen Peterson’s (author of viral burnout piece) incredibly smart.
Anon
I’ve only ever done news newsletters (But i get a crazy amount of those). I’m also over most blogs so following!
Cb
There is something really lovely about the format, so much better than social media. I also love the Literary Hub newsletter, there is always a long-form essay that I save for my afternoon break. A cup of tea and a read of something beautiful and reflective.
Anonymous
zero
I like blogs b/c they are current. A newsletter seems so . . . yesterday’s news. I don’t want more clutter in my inbox. I like blogs b/c if I can have time, I can pull up the ones I like and scroll down. Good ones don’t get stale quick and are well-written. Like go fug yourself — always great, even posts from 10 years ago. Comments are amazing. If it were a newsletter, I’d want to consume before deleting and I’d never consume all that.
anne-on
For humor, I really like Samantha Irby’s free version (Judge Mathis recaps) – she also has a more in-depth iteration you can subscribe to. For serious content I’ve enjoyed ‘The Sunday Soother’ by Catherine Andrews, but I think it is pretty specific those with anxiety/looking to make changes in their work/life and work/life balance.
Anon
So many (but I still miss the blog format and agree with Anonymous 8:37 AM that it’s way better to peruse blogs on your own time, hate the inbox clutter, etc…. but this is where my favorite writers are publishing these days so I have gone along with it):
Lauren Razavi’s Counterflows (about the future of work and global living)
Alicia Kennedy (food writing, essays)
Austin Kleon (creative living, great links)
Laura Olin (one of my all-time favorites. selection of meaningful, interesting links, poems, articles, pictures)
Anne Ditmeyer (American-born, Paris-based writer and creative consultant, lots of insights on creative living and life in Paris)
Kelsey Keith (former editor of Curbed, now doing her own thing. Thoughts on our homes, our spaces, the role of stuff in our lives… I like her musings)
Baratunde Thurston (comedian, writer and activist who covers race, politics, citizenship, and culture)
A Thing or Two from Claire and Erica (formerly of Of a Kind, now doing their own thing. 10 weekly discoveries in fashion, culture, food, books, design — love them and their taste)
Office Hours from Ernest Wilkins (Chicago-based writer who focuses on music, pop culture, media, and marketing)
Extraordinary Routines from Madeline Dore (Australian freelance writer who profiles other creatives and talks about how they structure their days)
The Hyphen from Emma Gannon (London-based writer who also runs the podcast Ctrl Alt Delete — love everything she produces. Conversations about the future of work and building a multi-faceted creative career. She just wrote her first novel, Olive)
Jessica Stanley’s Read.Look.Think. Sadly, she doesn’t publish this one very often anymore, but it is SO rich with intriguing reads.
There are more… I get way too many newsletters, but these are some of my favorites.
Anon
Laura Olin blows my mind regularly. I think she’s on an August hiatus, but I can’t wait.
Bonnie Kate
Here are ones I actually open/read:
the skimm
Next Draft by Dave Pell
Anti Racism Daily by Nicole Cardoza
I feel mixed about newsletters….I like them, but the email box clutter is too much and default to not signing up for new ones. I much preferred blog posts just showing up in my Feedly blog reader.
Anonymous
The only “newsletter” I subscribe to is James Breakwell’s (Xploding Unicorn on Twitter) about raising his 4 daughters. I don’t even have kids, I just find it hilarious.
Elderlyunicorn
I love Dense Discovery (used to be Modern Desk, then became Offscreen, now called Dense Discovery). A mix of tech, design and other interesting bits. Always something useful to check out.
Sloan Sabbith
Modern Mrs Darcy!!!! It’s her blog posts but I like seeing what she’s posted.
Anon
Does anyone have allbirds tree dashers or something similar? Looking for a shoe that’s fine for occasional short runs but also looks cute enough to wear around. I think it’d be great for travel – I can run (1-3 miles a few times a week while on vacation) without having to pack separate running shoes
TheElms
I have these New Balance Fuel Core sneakers for the same purpose ( don’t run in them but take long fast walks, typically 2-5 miles) and I think they work. I have them in a dark grey and thinking about getting a second color. Its been 9 months and they are holding up well.
https://www.amazon.com/New-Balance-FuelCore-Nergize-Training/dp/B005ATNN82/ref=sr_1_23?crid=HOAS484AF1KX&dchild=1&keywords=new+balance+womens+pull+on+shoes&qid=1598274379&sprefix=new+balance+womens+pull+on+%2Caps%2C195&sr=8-23
Double Wall Ovens
I’m installing double wall ovens and looking at getting the GE Profile ones. Has anyone had these? I was looking at Bosch and Electrolux but not sure they are worth the extra bump in price. Not concerned about resale value as this is our ‘forever’ house.
anne-on
No, but we were about to do a kitchen reno (before the pandemic put those plans on hold) and our kitchen designer strongly recommended GE for the brand that was most affordable and reliable. She said that if anything goes wrong many repair people will not have fancy parts for Bosch/Professional kitchen brands. GE also offered more high-end options than Whirlpool did/does (which was another suggested brand).
I was going to do a normal stove/oven combo and then add in a french door wall oven as I do a lot of baking and they’re easier to pull pans with batter/water baths/etc. in and out of them.
Anon
Do appliance stores get some kind of bonus if they sell GE? When I bought mine a lot of stores were really pushing the GE Monogram line (I think it’s a step above profile?) because there was some sort of selling promotion and were notably less interested in helping me buy my Kitchen Aid appliances.
anne-on
Interesting, not sure. We were working with a stand alone kitchen design place, so they didn’t sell or have any financial interests in what appliances we bought (we would buy them on our own and just provide them with measurements for the cabinetry/CAD design). This was just the designers feedback on what they heard clients liked/didn’t like. I honestly think a lot of their clients were going with higher end (Viking/Wolf/Miele) and she was encouraging us to NOT do that because of repair/upkeep issues.
Anon
Just to echo the repair issue, we had a bunch of Miele appliances in our old house which I think were all really nice, but yes, repairing was impossible.
VanguardFanAnon
Happy with ours so far…it has only been about nine months since installation.
Anonymous
We buy the GE Profile line. The higher end stuff that was in a condo when we bought it has all required too many maintenance visits.
Senior Attorney
+1 to this. I had GE Profile in my house and was very happy with them. We have fancy appliances in Hubby’s house and OMG the maintenance is ruinous, both in frequency and cost.
Anonymous
Thanks all! Appreciate the feedback.
anonymous
I’m extremely unhappy with our GE monogram appliances (oven, hood, dishwasher, fridge). We replaced the fridge with LG and dishwasher w/Bosch and have not regretted it. The oven temperature is WAY off and we have to replace a fuse in the hood about every 6 months (we figured out how to do this ourselves after having a GE repair person come out a couple times for $150 per visit). After our experience, I will never buy a GE appliance.
Anonymous
My apartment (8 months left on the lease, I expect to renew another year) has several closets with one wire shelf wrapping around the entire closet (picture the white wire shelving). I’ve discovered the 2×2 and 2×3 storage cube organizers are a perfect fit on top of the shelf and I love how they look, but each storage unit is $30. I’d probably spend $150 just to organize my closets. Is this extravagant? Should I just use plastic totes? I have a good income but can’t decide if this is just indulgent, especially for a rental.
Anon
$150 for 8-20 months of use? I’d do it. If you do move in 8 months you can probably resell for half of what you paid for it.
Anon
No, it is not. Spend the $150. That is something that will make you happier daily vs some plastic bins.
Also, as someone who has moved a few times fairly recently, I find that I usually find a use for all of our random nice storage containers in each place, even if they were originally for a specific function we no longer have.
Katie
Do it! It’s a small price to pay for something you’ll look at every day. Storage containers are always practical to have around.
pugsnbourbon
+1. We are redoing our bedroom, and once the new dresser arrives I’m going all out on drawer organizers, dividers, etc. Seeing order every time I open my drawers will be so soothing (yes I am solidly in my 30s).
Sloan Sabbith
The cube storage, especially, has served about fifteen different purposes since I bought them a few years ago.
Op
Thank you all! Ordering today :)
Anonymous
For those with older parents or grandparents (say 75ish+), is there an age where they started complaining about fatigue in daily life? I’m more asking about the kind of guys who don’t work, work out or nor do much housework, so day in and day out is sitting with say an occasional quarter mile walk. Because I know 75 year olds still working full time, hiking on weekends, vacationing anyplace they want etc, but I feel like that’s a different category. For others is there a time when “deconditioning” sets in?
Hearing these complaints from my grandfather now and while we’re obviously addressing them w drs to make sure, we’re also curious as to when it’s considered routine “aging.” Any experience w this?
gouda
My father just turned 77; he’s never been much for exercise and retired 10 years ago. I’ve noticed in recent years that he’s been more fatigued in the evenings. For example, when I speak to him in the evenings he sounds tired and is a little absent minded. I’ve never noticed these cognitive stumbles in the mornings, when he’s better rested. He told me that the lockdown had affected his mobility because he’s not getting around as much. In the course of his day he would walk a bit, which stopped when we locked down. (I think he’s trying daily walks now, to get back to where he was.)
Anonymous
Um, 50 and with a desk job and I feel that it starts at 48. I think it’s a lot of mental / emotional demands (pandemic; client drama; kids’ homeschooling when they are sad-lonely-hate-being-on-the-computer-all-day) and I don’t get enough physical activity myself to work out the stress.
Maybe at 75 and 10 years retired I’d be refreshed, but I’ve noticed that my body doesn’t bounce back from exercise they way it used to and might start to have serious breakdowns / cancer / heart issues by then.
I think it all varies greatly as we age, based on genes, lifestyle, life choices, stress, issues with loved ones (like you may be fine, but your partner has cancer and you have elderly parents to tend to vs carefree bliss and living your best life).
Anonymous
So long as there is someone older than me who is not experiencing a symptom, I want to know how, physiologically, the aging process is producing the symptom and whether it can be treated; often it can be.
And sometimes it’s something highly treatable. For example, it can be harder to get adequate nutrition as we age since many of us struggle to produce adequate stomach acid and have lower caloric demands. There are very low risk interventions that can help compensate (e.g., taking vitamins, or getting intramuscular B12). Doctors who have a specific interest in gerontology may be more familiar with the options than a general primary care doctor.
Anonymous
There are also some rare conditions that are significantly less rare in older populations. I’ve read that myasthenia is believed to be underdiagnosed in older patients because the symptoms are so often attributed to aging and it’s hard to test for. I don’t know if his evening fatigue could be characterized as weakness, but it’s generally easy for a qualified doctor to check and see if meds help or not.
anon for this
My father is 72 and he definitely gets tired a lot more quickly than 5-10 years ago. He’s still fairly active, he just needs a nap between some activities. It doesn’t seem to bother him, though. Are the complaints about being tired in general, as in a nap doesn’t solve the issue, or just that he’s noticing that his stamina is declining?
anon
My dad probably fits into that category. He’s 71. He gets some exercise by helping out with my brother’s farm, but we can tell that it takes a much bigger physical toll on him than it used to. I’ve noticed it more in the past year or two. He doesn’t complain about it, but you can see it. On the other hand, if he weren’t doing that, he’d probably be way too sedentary, which would cause other issues, so it becomes a delicate balance of too much vs. not enough.
Anonymous
Doing farm work at 71 is pretty amazing though. Many guys at 71 are doing nothing physical or maybe a stroll around the neighborhood if they really want to work out. (Not considering the few 72 year olds I know who went climbing in Patagonia last year but like OP says that’s a different category.)
anon
It helps to hear that. TBH, I grew up around men who were physically active doing “regular things” long into their lives, so it kind of surprises me when I encounter anything else. My grandpa was still gardening and mowing his lawn at 89, for example. My FIL is the same age as my dad but is barely mobile at this point — that’s the other end of the spectrum.
Anonymous
Yeah. This is my husband’s step dad. It’s been a really sharp drop off from 75 to 80 and it’s very sad. He’s had some significant health challenges but mostly just seems really depressed. It’s frustrating because it’s not my place but he doesn’t take care of himself. He goes out to a big dinner most nights ( yes even in the pandemic .) Their home is messy and frankly, falling apart. He stays up late and sleeps until noon. He feels the need to nap or otherwise engage in inappropriate anti-social behavior whenever he’s invited anywhere. He can’t walk, he just mostly shuffles and occasionally falls and I suspect he’s developing a neuropathy from his still untreated diabetes.
Did I mention he nearly died from the flu back in December and he and my mil STILL won’t get flu shots?
anon
This is sad and some of what you described fits my parents at 78 – have never been very active but they have a pool, but now its either too hot or too cold to get in…..declining physically and mentally, not keeping up with their housework due to mobility issues….its hard to watch. I am very active and know that some decline can be prevented by being very active earlier in life.
Another anon
Of course this varies a lot by individual and health condition. But to make a very broad generalization, the mid-75 y olds I know who have been active through their whole adult life and stayed active have overall more energy than the ones who lived a more sedentary life and still do.
anon
My mom is approaching 70 but is still super active. She started running marathons in her 40s and her physical fitness hasn’t declined at all since then.
anon
This. Love this….good for your mom, that is my goal
pugsnbourbon
Whoa, your mom is awesome!
My parents are in their late sixties but have stayed pretty active over the last couple decades. My mom played volleyball, tennis, and swam pre-Covid. My dad’s always been a bit overweight, but the man can walk 8 miles at a good clip, talking up a storm the whole way. And now that he’s retired, he takes my nephew for walks constantly. I am so, so grateful that they’re both in good health and can enjoy their grandbaby.
Anon
Deconditioning is deconditioning. I have 35 year old coworkers who fall into this category.
Anonymous
Maybe. When I was 35, I was told by my doctor my symptoms of orthostatic intolerance, weakness, and breathlessness were deconditioning. Turns out I had several autoimmune conditions. On treatment, I bounced right back to my preferred activities (e.g. hiking miles), so I’m not even sure I was ever notably deconditioned.
Anon
My coworkers are people who joke about their terrible diets, sedentary hobbies (Netflix is a hobby?) and lack of exercise while heading out for a smoke break. They do not look 35. We work desk jobs. It’s sad, but it’s also the life they’re choosing for themselves and not my place to comment.
Anonymous
Okay, this makes sense to me. This is more how a lot of people in my family are. We have the same crappy genes and a lot of the same conditions, but I am doing a lot better through better healthcare, diet, and lifestyle.
I’ve said here before what an impression it made on me when I went to college and saw the parents and grandparents of my classmates helping them move in. I am not sure I fully understood that people could play sports as adults, let alone play tennis in their eighties, until I went to college. I was used to seeing people really start to break down in their 50s and 60s (with trouble sleeping, weight trouble, dental trouble, back and joints, chronic sinus infections… and a lot of polypharmacy on top of it).
Silly Valley
My parents are 75 and they still do a lot of yard work and stuff around the house. But they are noticeably less physically strong than they were five years ago, and they work more slowly and take more breaks. They are still a lot more active than some people 20 years younger then they are (myself included!). I think it’s usually somewhere in the 70s that this kicks in for people who have stayed active, and somewhere in the 60s for those who haven’t or who have had prior health issues.
Anonymous
In the Army, a 2-mile run score that is failing for an 18 year old soldier (female) is a decent score for a 50 year old female soldier. This is for people who have a job with a fitness requirement for decades, and is quite humbling for those of us who do not.
My #goal is to to be something Uncle Sam wants again (right now, he’d take a pass). I’m not trying to enlist, just useful for an older person to have a yardstick.
Anon
I’m a former college athlete who got out of shape and gained about 15 lbs after I stopped competing. I’ve always said that in order to stay in shape I need fitness tests and jokingly wish that my job had them.
A few weeks ago I decided my new goal was to be able to pass military and/or fbi fitness standards.
I don’t plan on joining up (although … my niche civilian career translates well to the military so maybe would consider it pending election results) but am just using it as a good benchmark for what I should aim for
Anonymous
My mother is 78 and has started making these kinds of comments in the last year or so. She hasn’t had a job in decades, but has taken some low-impact exercise classes like yoga and pilates throughout, once or twice weekly usually. It seems normal to me that she’s feeling her age at this point. If she were allowed, she would still travel for several months of the year and do significant walking on those trips. But obviously that is on hold.
Anon
I have 3 grandparents who are in their early 90’s who definitely do not have “fatigue” and seem to be more active than I am. Their bodies have limitations but energy definitely is not one of them.
Anonymous
That’s pretty amazing. Because I think it’s fairly common as this thread indicates to get to the mid 70s and really slow down. Sure there are exceptions — the people who are still climbing Patagonia or hiking every weekend or mowing their lawn at 85 — but I feel like we hear about those because they are the exception not the rule.
Anon
Yup. My one grandfather played tennis until he was 85. He broke his back, made a full recovery for everything except tennis. Spent the next several years being super active until he died relatively quickly at 92 from aggressive cancer.
Other grandfather was climbing ladders to paint second and third story windows and shutters until his late 80s and we made him stop. He really started declining at 90 and died at 94.
Meanwhile my aunt by marriage is 64 and has like 18 things wrong with her.
NOT a Lawyer
Ok this make me giggle because I just had a mild related argument with my mom yesterday. I mentioned that I was giving away most of my jeans and she was unhappy because she wanted to try them on and “see if they worked for her” before I gave them away.
My mom is 77 years old and barely mobile. She might be a size 14 and sleeps 12-16 hours per day due to medical issues.
I am an Olympic weight lifter, cyclist, and dancer. I wear a size 2 or 4. She might actually weigh less than me but our bodies are totally different shapes and composition because they do different things all day.
Anon
Woah! What was being in the Olympics like?
Anonymous
Dad passed away very suddenly a few months ago at 80 (brain aneurysm). We went on a trip together a few years ago and walked 10K+ steps a day. Mentally sharp as well and involved in a number of things on a volunteer basis that kept him active mentally. Mom is 85 and mentally very sharp as well. Not as physically active, but very tiny which I think helps her stay mobile.
Anon
If you leave a 2-week gap between jobs, is it common to ask your old employer (leaving on good terms) to continue your health insurance through the new start date at your expense? If not, how would you handle the gap? Somehow this has never come up before and I’m wondering what the norm is before I go into the conversation.
Anon
Technically, if you are no longer an employee, the terms of the plan will generally exclude you.
Anon
If you are in the US, you should be able to use COBRA to buy coverage for the two weeks, on your dime. You don’t need to negotiate that, though. Your employer should automatically provide details about COBRA options.
Anonymous
This.
anne-on
When I switched my old job offered short term insurance (Cobra) until my new role/insurance kicked in, and retroactively covered usage. So, you don’t need to buy it at first, and then if you do have an issue you can sign up and it will cover the bills. Definitely something to ask your HR people about – this should be outlined in your documents when you leave – for me it was something they presented when also going over pension/401k balances and documents to roll them over.
Anon
Your health insurance is generally valid through the end of the month.
Anonymous
No it is not; it depends on the company.
Anon
You don’t need health insurance for a 2 week gap. You can retroactively elect COBRA if something happens.
Eleanor
This!! COBRA can be retroactive for a couple months don’t pay for two weeks of health insurance.
anon
It doesn’t hurt to ask but I honestly wouldn’t worry about it if you’re in good health (esp if you’re still relatively locked down). You can retroactively apply COBRA if you end up needing something in those two weeks.
mynameisdonuts
You can get COBRA to cover those two weeks.
Clementine
Ask factually (often to somebody in HR) to confirm when your insurance will run through. It’s pretty common that it will run through the end of the month.
FWIW, if you’re in the US, you’ll be given the option of COBRA – which is continuing your insurance at your own expense for up to at least 18 months. Here’s the thing – COBRA is pricey AND is retroactive for 90 days. SO. If you have a gap of let’s say 2-3 weeks during which you’re going to have an insurance gap, you can fill out all the paperwork including making out the check and just carry the envelope around with you. I did this and had strict instructions that if I needed to be rushed to the hospital, stop at a mailbox first.
(Note: yes, insurance in the US is broken. No, this isn’t a good long term strategy; however, it’s what I’ve done when I had a gap in health insurance between jobs.)
OP
Ah, this is helpful – if it runs through the end of the month then I’d be fine. I’ll do some digging in my plan docs. Thanks!
Clementine
It’s also just a really direct question they’ve likely gotten before. “Hi, can you just confirm when my health insurance coverage ends?”
If they’re too small to have HR, I get that you have to be very delicate. I promise, this is a normal question.
OP
Forgot to mention, my current employer is too small for COBRA as I understand it (less than 20 employees), but my spouse does have a plan I could likely roll onto. I am in good health but I just want to make sure I have my ducks in a row!
SmallLawAtl
Your state may also mandate something commonly referred to as “mini-COBRA,” which is a short-term continuation that the insurance company (rather than your employer; with fewer than 20 employees, this is almost certainly a full-insured plan) has to offer. Insurers do not routinely advertise this fact, and if you call the 1-800 number on your card, you’ll get nothing helpful. You can usually find information on it by googling your state + mini-COBRA or by calling your insurance commissioner’s office. It is commonly 30-90 days’ of coverage at the full regular premium.
Minnie Beebe
Your job change should count as a “qualifying event” with your husband’s employer, and I assume there’s some timeframe during which you’d need to make the enrollment change with DH’s employer. Given where we are in the year, I would suggest simply enrolling in spouse’s insurance when you leave your current job and then re-assess during this fall’s Open Enrollment.
Anon
Typically health insurance is for the whole month, so if you leave at the beginning of a month it will carry through to the last day. Or at least that is how it’s worked for me each time I’ve changed jobs in the US>
adfjk
It may depend on when the 2 weeks is. For me I couldn’t get kicked off insurance until the end of the month, which was when my new companies insurance started
dog bite
Short version: my good friend’s fiance’s large dog bit me. I’m fine but it was scary. Friend’s fiance didn’t apologize and I’m wondering if I should drop it or say something.
Long version: I have lots of experience with dogs, even had 5 of this exact breed through childhood, and once worked at an animal shelter with many troubled dogs…which has made me healthily cautious of unfamiliar dogs despite loving them.
I’d met Dog and the fiance once before and had said to my friend afterward, your fiance’s dog seems very anxious and I’m a little worried that he might bite someone. Friend assured me she knew Dog well and he was so sweet and would never ever bite, just nervous in new circumstances because her fiance hadn’t realized how to socialize a dog back when he was a puppy.
Well, I saw Dog again recently, he came and rubbed against my legs and I affectionately rubbed his side…and he bit me seemingly without warning. He obviously didn’t mean to hurt me (because he could have), but it was not a play bite or nip, but a real bite that slightly broke the skin.
I quickly moved away, as I was upset and didn’t want to be near the dog. My friend followed after a few minutes talking to her fiance. She was very apologetic, said she should’ve known Dog was too scared to be pet from his body language, that she’d make sure Dog got better trained after the pandemic, that fiance’s theory on why Dog bit me was he thought I touched Dog’s ear while petting him, which he doesn’t like.
I told her it was fine and I didn’t blame her at all, that the apology for the dog’s behavior should be from her fiance if anyone. I’ve been trying to forget it, but I could have been hurt by this dog who by all admission has not been well-trained…because I may inadvertently have touched his ear? I even feel a bit blamed, for supposedly not reading the dog’s body language (which I feel like I am good at!) and possible ear touching (which I didn’t realize was a problem!). Obviously I won’t interact with Dog if I see him again but the aftermath is giving me a bad impression about his owner my good friend is marrying. If my dog bit a friend I’d feel horrific.
Anonymous
I’m not sure what you’re looking for here tbh. Dude is not going to do anything. Refuse to be around the dog. He’s being defensive because he knows there a problem he won’t deal with.
dog bite
Okay, thanks. I guess what I’m looking for is something that’s not going to happen, namely for him to care that his dog bit me. But you’re right, it is what it is.
Bolt
+1 I’d take the L and move on. for whatever reason – poor training, bad dog owners, misreading dog’s language, you probably won’t get an apology from the fiance and it’s unclear how that would change the dog’s behavior.
the dog will bite someone else eventually and that time it won’t be you.
Anonymous
So you got an apology in the moment from the couple, and they will keep the dog away from you going forward? I’m not sure what else you want. It sounds like you’re disappointed the apology was given by her and not him…? I think you need to consider whether you really have other issues with him.
Anon
Right. They are engaged, so she likely considers the dog her dog as well at this point and therefore is likely missing the nuance that in your mind this is fiancés issue. I’m sure she felt her apology spoke for both of them as now do owners of the dog.
dog bite
Thanks, that makes sense.
Anon
The only other thing I’d ask for is a copy of the dog’s shot record, so you can verify s/he is vaccinated.
Anonymous
There’s not really anything else for you to do here. Maybe your friend didn’t take the issue seriously before the dog bit you, but now she does. She said she would get the dog trained. She said she would be more wary about who is around the dog. I think that’s the best you can hope for.
Anon
Their response isn’t enough. They should be sending flowers, offering to pay for any first-aid supplies or doctor’s visits you need, and IMMEDIATELY taking the dog to a behavioral specialist, pandemic or no pandemic. However, they’re dog owners, and most dog owners I know put the dog first.
Anonymous
This. The whole dog training when the pandemic is over thing is garbage. You can get started via online assessment – like send in videos of dog in different scenarios, owners given basic instruction in video consult and if covid is not too bad, likely meet up for distanced sessions in a park. Or send dog to sleep away training.
Shrug we’ll fix it eventually is the kind of reaction that would make me very frustrated and inclined to take a step back from a friendship.
anon
Yep, all of this. I’ll admit that I’m not a huge fan of dogs in general and was bitten by one as a kid (gee, wonder why I don’t trust them much). I would seriously be questioning this friend’s judgment and would be meeting up with her in dog-free territory.
anon
I’m not a dog owner or even an animal person in general but these suggestions are overly excessive for something so minor. She seems to have some problem with the fiance and is using the dog as a justification.
dog bite
I barely know him, I didn’t have anything against him before this point.
Anon
Nope, being bit by a dog isn’t minor. Doing the right thing isn’t excessive.
anon
Flowers? First-aid kit? Give me a break. That’s so unnecessary. I think an apology and a bandaid are all that’s needed.
Anon
You are objectively wrong. If your dog bit me and you acted that way, our friendship would be over.
Anon
Note, my response at 12:15 is in response to Anon at 12:13. Acting like it’s nbd is offensive and wrong.
Anon
I mean if OP wants to drop a friend over “slightly broken skin,” then she’s free to do as she pleases. OP’s friend seems to think she did enough so all that’s left is to either get over it or say your goodbyes.
Anonymous
I am a dog person who has competed with my dogs in obedience trials, and to me this behavior is a red flag. This was not play, it was aggression towards a human. It doesn’t matter if the dog was annoyed that she brushed his ear–the dog should not be biting, period. Fortunately the harm was not severe this time, but the next person might not be so lucky.
anonshmanon
you literally do dog obedience as a competitive sport! What makes you think that your standard of dog behavior is applicable to the average dog?
anon
Wait, what? The standards for basic safety are the same for all dogs. She has expertise, not unreasonably high standards. Good grief.
Anonymous
I am disclosing my participation in obedience only as a marker of my level of experience with dogs. I have also had non-competing pet dogs. I would be concerned about this level of aggression in any dog.
Anonymous
There is an objective dog bite severity scale and this rates as a Level 3 A (scale is Level 1-6 with Level 3 having an A and B division). That’s a serious situation that requires intervention as the dog is likely to bite again.
anon
+1. My in-laws had an aggressive dog. It bit FIL, but that was brushed aside because he was trying to pull the dog out from under the table while the dog was growling (admittedly, a dumb thing to do). Then the dog bit a person while my husband was dog-sitting and taking the dog on walk. That was brushed aside because my husband didn’t know not to shake hands with a neighbor, and the dog was guarding the baby (our son was in a stroller).
Guess what? The dog bit someone else. She bit an AC repairman, unprovoked, while one of its owners was in the same room and everyone was calm. In-laws put the dog to sleep.
Without behavioral intervention, aggressive behavior escalates.
anon
No, this isn’t minor at all. This type of biting (vs. play biting between dogs that are wrestling, or a dog that air snaps and accidentally catches you) isn’t normal dog behavior. It’s highly problematic and needs to be addressed immediately. If it happens again, the owners may have to put the dog down or surrender it – and if it’s surrendered with multiple bites on its record, it may be euthanized. They need to take this seriously and get with a behaviorist stat, and they should be apologizing in a way that demonstrates that they understand that it’s a big deal.
I adopted a dog from a shelter that had a prior history of abuse and it bit my father. I got with a behaviorist right away, who told me that this type of biting – under seemingly nonstressful circumstances, and without warning – often occurs when a dog is poorly socialized *and* has been punished by the owners for showing normal stress behaviors (like growling) or trying to retreat from stressful situations. As a result, the dog’s distress may not be visible until it panics and bites. In my case, despite best efforts with the behaviorist, the dog bit again (fortunately the victim wasn’t seriously injured) and I had to euthanize him. It was awful – and I learned subsequently from the shelter that he had a history of biting before I adopted him.
Moral of the story: Biting has to be taken very seriously and addressed immediately to avoid serious injury to a person or the need to put the dog down. A dog that bites once in these circumstances will do it again unless the owners get help.
dog bite
Hi anon, any chance you have a citation on the “often occurs when a dog is poorly socialized *and* has been punished by the owners for showing normal stress behaviors (like growling) or trying to retreat from stressful situations”? I’m googling but nothing really good has come up.
I ask because my friend said when her fiance first got the dog he didn’t really know how to take care of a dog so did yell at him for doing normal dog things. My friend was concerned about it. I feel like if there were a legit article about this I would want to send it to her because it’s 100% the case here.
Anon
This is exactly the type of situation that’s going to go down here. I knew someone who was extremely severely injured from a pit bull bite from a dog that had bitten at least two people previously. The victim had a complex fracture in his arm that took two years to heal correctly with one of those metal cast things sticking out of the bone. He was furious that the county didn’t take the previous bites seriously and I’m pretty sure the dog was eventually euthanized.
The moral of the story? Dog bites are incredibly serious and I would instantly, permanently drop a friend who did not recognize that fact and immediately try to make it right.
Anonymous
This is why I will never again adopt a dog from a shelter, only a reputable breed rescue that uses foster homes. Shelters are motivated to get rid of dogs as fast as possible and will conceal relevant history from potential adopters.
Anonymous
Why is your friend marrying this person if she has concerns about how he treats his dog? Mistreating an animal is a warning sign for domestic abuse.
anon
@dog bite: try this: https://www.usadogbehavior.com/blog/2015211why-dogs-bite-out-of-nowhere
Hopefully it helps – this may still be a correctable situation. Having to put down my dog was horrible, horrible, horrible and really solidified for me that “bad dogs” are typically victims of bad dog ownership.
dog bite
Thank you so much, anon! The good news is my friend is also a dog owner and has trained her own dog well so I think/hope that she will take it seriously especially with a reference. She was already concerned about how he had (not) trained his dog as a puppy so I hope it will resonate.
I will be staying away from this dog regardless but obviously don’t want others to be bitten.
dog bite
anon 12:06 she was very concerned about how he treated the dog but they discussed, it was out of ignorance about how you were supposed to discipline a dog, and he has learned from my friend how to treat him (but given the dog is an adult he’s not magically better now).
My friend is a dog owner and animal lover and would not be with someone who was knowingly cruel to animals.
anon
Yes, this is the best and most relevant comment on this thread. Not to dismiss what OP went through but flowers and a bandaid won’t address the real problem — the problem is that this dog bit and is now known to pose a potential danger to others. If the dog bites again, it could seriously injury someone (what if it’s a child?) and OP’s friends could be on the hook legally and the dog could be put down. I wonder if OP’s friend/fiancee are aware of the gravity of this situation. They’re lucky OP’s not reporting it to animal control. Setting aside danger to humans, this dog is likely experiencing distress and certainly won’t be helped by being surrendered/put down at a later time, which is extremely unfair to the dog. The dog’s distress may not be the fault of its owner but his owner has an obligation to address it.
Anonymous
“Having to put down my dog was horrible, horrible, horrible and really solidified for me that ‘bad dogs’ are typically victims of bad dog ownership.”
Please stop perpetuating this dangerous myth. You of all people should know that this is not true–you were not a bad owner, but your efforts were not sufficient to correct the dog’s behavior. So many unsuspecting families are saddled with problematic dogs by shelters and rescues, then bullied into thinking that if they only invest enough time and money into training, they can fix the behavior. When this inevitably fails to correct the dog’s aggression, as it failed your dog, they are then told that it’s their fault and they just didn’t try hard enough or love the dog enough. This leads many people to keep dogs that are truly dangerous and unsuited to be family pets, to the detriment of both the dog and the human family.
TLDR: You can make a dog bad by being a bad owner, but you can’t fix a bad dog by being a good owner.
dog bite
PS I didn’t say before but I’m sorry anon that you had to put down your dog…that would be incredibly upsetting and traumatic even if the right/needed thing to do. :(
anon
Anon@ 12:50 – I was a good dog owner but the prior owners, who physically abused this dog such that he had scars and then kept him in a pen so small he couldn’t turn around, were bad ones. I stand by the statement – bad dogs aren’t born, they’re made. The only question is whether you, as a subsequent owner, can undo what was done by prior bad dog ownership.
Anonymous
Biting is as serious as everyone else is saying.
But it’s generally true that some people are in over their heads with their dogs and just don’t get it. I’m short and scrape and bruise pretty easily, and I have ended up looking like I was in a fight after visiting certain people who accidentally let their large, totally untrained dogs out among the guests.
Anonymous
The fiance is totally in over his head and doesn’t get it, and someone else is going to pay the price when his dog attacks them. That is different from letting the dog jump on people.
Anonymous
I feel it’s on the spectrum, since I’ve been growled at and snapped at by some of the out of control dogs I’m thinking of. It came up that the fiance is clueless and yelled at the dog for normal behaviors, and that’s the kind of cluelessness I’m talking about, where the dogs are out of control, stressed, and unhappy, and their people can’t distinguish rambunctiousness and lack of discipline from signs of growing fear and hostility.
Anonymous
I don’t think there’s anything else you can do, but the fact that this happened means that your friend’s fiance has extremely poor judgment. If the dog bit you “because he doesn’t like having his ear touched,” the fiance has seen this type of behavior before, knows he has a dangerous dog, and hasn’t done anything about it. I would be very worried about her safety and well-being.
dog bite
I think you put your finger on what’s bothering me. Like, if he knew the dog didn’t like his ear being touched, why didn’t he give me a heads up? But not much to be done now as others are saying.
anon8
I agree about poor judgement on the fiance’s part. When I first rescued one of my cats he got overstimulated easily and would sometimes bite at my hand. He liked being around people but I told visitors to not interact too much beyond reaching out a hand to let him smell it. He’s a total love bug now, but I would hate for someone to get hurt.
KP
In Florida you are supposed to report ALL dog bites to law enforcement.
Anon
Even if it’s not required, I wouldn’t hesitate to report it to law enforcement in the scenario described. Perhaps I’ve just seen too many predictable dog bites though.
Anonymous
How many mutual friends do you think you’ll keep if you get your friend’s dog killed/removed from the home because it barely broke your skin?
Anon
I’m 100% fine not being friends with selfish jerks. I love dogs and have been around them all my life, but there’s way too much overlap in the “dog owner” and “selfish jerk” bubbles in a Venn diagram. I can’t abide people who act like aggressive dogs are a minor issue and I don’t want them in my life. Somehow I’ve still managed to make and keep plenty of friends. YMMV.
Anon
+1000
Anonymous
Ok, Karen. Keep in mind it barely broke skin. And her initial issue was that he didn’t do the apologizing. Bigger issues in this friendship than the dog already.
Anonymous
A dog that barely breaks the skin is going to attack more aggressively the next time. This is a warning sign, and the friends are not taking it seriously. I sure hope they don’t have this dog around when they have a baby in the house.
Anonymous
“When” they have a baby? Pretty presumptuous.
Anon
If being a “Karen” reporting a violent dog before it hurts someone else is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
anon
““When” they have a baby? Pretty presumptuous.”
That’s what you’re focused on? Consider why you feel the need to deflect away from the actual point of the post.
anon
Reporting your friend’s dog is shitty and definitely Karen-like. Prepare to be disinvited from that wedding and your friend’s life if you go this route. It’s barely a scratch — toughen up and get over it. It’s obvious you need to be center of attention and this particular friend isn’t giving into your drama queen BS hence your longwinded rant over literally nothing.
Anonymous
We need a new name for reckless, selfish, obnoxious people like the 2:08 and 3:44 anons. Donalds?
Anon
My dog is a lot smarter than some of yalls kids — just sayin! But go off, Karen.
Anon
Hi Kat, please look into the comment above this one in the thread, Anon at 4:49pm.
Working with an interior decorator online
Has anyone worked with an interior decorator remotely/online that they would recommend? I want to re-do my master bathroom. I live in a condo, so I’m limited in what changes I make, which is why I don’t think I need a designer. I’m not going to move the plumbing, but want to make some other changes (bigger shower, one sink vs. two, more storage, get rid of tub as I have another bathroom with a tub) and want help with picking surfaces and colours. I live in Toronto, but if I worked with someone online, I think geography isn’t as relevant. My style is classic/transitional — nothing fancy and nothing stark.
For a variety of factors, COVID isn’t a gating factor right now to complete the construction. If it becomes one, then I will at least have a plan.
Anon
If you’d like to use a fellow Canadian, Maria Killam is great at color.
Anonymous
I can’t believe there are only two more weeks of summer!
Abby
I have sunday scaries but for summer & warm weather
Anonymous
Same! I’ve started noticing it getting darker earlier and earlier and it’s actually making me anxious. COVID has been hard enough while still being able to get outside to socialize at a distance. I live in an area that is pretty inhospitable in the winter and I am already bracing for a very, very long winter this year.
Anon
I can’t believe that people across the country have had something resembling a normal summer, if not 100% normal. It feels like active hell where I live in wildfire country. I look at others’ social media feeds and I can barely recognize things like carefree small family BBQs.
Anon
I’m sorry :( I’m not in wildfire country but our summer has been nowhere near normal. Certainly there are people out there living life like we’re not in a pandemic, but most people I know are still mostly in isolation. Right now I’m really grieving the increasingly likely possibility that summer ‘21 won’t be normal either. I feel like it would be so much easier to get through the summer if I knew that come next Memorial Day life would go back to something resembling normal, but I’m really not sure it will.
Anon
Yeah that hasn’t been my experience. Most people I know personally have left isolation behind and are doing most of their normal activities. I think some of them would be going to concerts if they could.
anon
Lucky you! This is not true for me or anyone I know, aside from my Europeans friends and family.
Anon
Lucky me? I’m the Anon at 9:49 struggling in wildfire hell right now. I’ve been in isolation since March and it’s really hard right now when we can’t even walk outside because the air quality is at hazardous level. My point was that most of my friends living in other areas are in a totally different position. I see posts of beach days and backyard parties with small groups and it feels very, very foreign to me right now. I don’t begrudge people finding happiness where they can. I just wish we could get our hands on some of that here, but it’s been relentless.
Anonymous
The only people I know living in isolation are people who are quite elderly, so not 65 but closer to 85, and people who are compromised and are at great risk. Everyone else is doing some, but not all, of their normal activities, albeit wearing masks and with some caution. Personally, my life is about 85% back to what it was before the pandemic.
anon
Ah oops, didn’t realize you were the same Anon. In that case, I’m sorry for all of our awful summers.
Anonymous
Hey 10:16, some of us live in areas under shelter in place orders due to case spikes when we tried to reopen. If you are fortunate enough to live somewhere else, don’t throw shade.
LaurenB
If their small family BBQs are carefree, then they’re doing it wrong. There is no room for “carefree” right now.
potato
Everyone must maintain of tone of deathly seriousness at all times?
La Di Dah
I’m in the heart of wildfire country and we are still isolating and we have online school and we are in a heatwave and I feel like I am in hell.
Friday, please
August is the Sunday of summer.
Anon
Totally.
Senior Attorney
Oh, gosh. Here in So Cal we are just getting started. I’m expecting at least another six weeks of blazing hot temps.
Anon
I can’t f*cking wait for this “summer” to end. It’s all the heat and wildfire smoke with none of the fun. Can’t wait for cooler temperatures and hopefully some winter mountain trips.
pugsnbourbon
I can’t f*cking wait for this “summer” to end. It’s all the heat and wildfire smoke with none of the fun. Can’t wait for cooler temperatures and hopefully some winter mountain trips.
Anonymous
All you WFH women… have you successfully converted to totally paperless? If so, what helped? If not, where do you store files? I take a ton of handwritten notes while advising clients (my day is mostly a series of 14-40 minute phone calls handling general business and employment questions). I don’t love an ugly file cabinet sitting in my guest room but I think I may need to resort to that for order. Thoughts?
Cb
How many different clients are you dealing with? I feel like OneNote or Evernote, or whatever fits your business security requirements would do the trick? But also, a big fat notebook would also work (I recommend Rhodia for nicest paper), you could just put the client name at the top of each page? Pull them out and put them in a big binder every 2 or 3 months.
Clementine
I haven’t, but my BFF successfully has via a Rocketbook.
Gail the Goldfish
This is what I’ve done. Write notes in Rocketbook,snap a picture and it scans to my work email, immediately file in work document management system. So much better than when I used to have a notepad for each case in stacks around my office.
Anon
Can you keep your notes to a notebook? Don’t need a file cabinet for those.
SmallLawAtl
Not WFH, but I also take tons of handwritten notes that I need to preserve. My system is to keep project files (manila folders) in two hanging file organizers on the back of my office door. This keeps them out of sight, which is important to me–clutter drives me nuts. I have a one-page cover sheet inside this file that I jot the date and a note about what happens every time I open it, e.g., “6/20 Email to GG with draft.” I stuff all relevant paper into this folder until the project is completed, and then I sort’ish (not super thoroughly) scan it all into one PDF and throw out or shred the paper. I tried Rocket Book and did not enjoy the writing experience or having 50 separate files. It was a lot of clicks.
No Face
I immediately input the information from my handwritten notes into my electronic files and then shred the notes. I do this whether at work or at home. It’s mainly because I have a special talent for losing pieces of paper.
Anonymous
I have been keeping a scan pile, and when I am feeling brain dead, scan my notes and save them to the office file system.
Greensleeves
I upgraded my old iPad to the new large one with an Apple pencil, and now I take all of my handwritten notes on that. I really prefer taking notes by hand, but this way there’s no paper to deal with! I have been using Notability, but Goodnotes is also popular and my husband prefers Nebo. I also just learned that the OneNote app allows you to handwrite, so I’m going to try that out since my organization uses Office365.
Diana Barry
No, BUT I just sent a batch of handwritten files to my assistant who will scan them into our system. If you have an assistant, could that person do the same for you?
Op
Yes! I currently haul piles of paper back and forth to the office every month or so. It’s not bad, but I go through a lot of legal pads and wondered if now is finally the time to stop… I take a lot more notes on my email now and just forward to her to save in the client file, but if It’s a crazy day I find myself turning to the legal pad!
cat socks
I keep a paper to-do list, but all my meeting notes to into OneNote. I can organize things how I want and the search feature is very helpful for when I need to look for something I typed up months ago.
Savannah
I take handwritten notes during the call, and after I hang up I dictate an email to myself detailing the call any advice given, who was on the call etc. I then send myself the email and file it in my email organization system for that particular client. I then put the handwritten notes in my shred pile.
Anon.
I use a Rocketbook to take notes and scan in from there to the appropriate files on my computer and drop box. I has helped me avoid the piles of legal pads with notes on my desk.
Leatty
I have a similar job, and I store everything in One Note. Since I’m in-house, my notebook is broken down by the nature of the issues (i.e. RIF, discipline, etc.), but you could easily set it up by client.
Anon
Has anyone gone from a gas stove and some type of electric and can tell me what the transition was like? I’m looking at a condo that’s electric only – no gas permitted. I’ve had gas stoves by entire life. I would be renovating the kitchen so I can put in any type of cooktop/range I want. I’m worried that I will hate it and regret the move. The condo is otherwise perfect for my needs, but the lack of gas is really bothering me.
Anon
Are you allowed to do propane so that you can still have a gas stove?
Anon
No, it’s not allowed, sadly.
Anon
I grew up with electric, had gas in one house, later bought a house with no gas so cooked with electric for many years. We brought in a gas line for a heating system conversion and later put in a gas stove. I don’t love electric for stovetop cooking, though I actually prefer it for the oven. But if the place is perfect, you can definitely cook on an electric stove, bearing in mind that the burner doesn’t react immediately to a heat adjustment. Also, the electric stove in my second house was a cheap, low end appliance, which probably contributed to my dissatisfaction. If you can put in a higher end electric cooktop, you will probably enjoy it more than I did.
anonshmanon
+1. I’ve used many different gas and electric cooktops. If you have a choice, induction is the most convenient electric stove, although if you already have a beloved collection of cooking vessels, it might suck that some of them aren’t induction compatible.
Anon
I’ve been making the adjustment over the last year. It definitely takes some getting used to but I don’t hate it. If you want to think of a positive, it’s the climate friendly way of the future and better for indoor air quality- a lot of CA has banned gas in new construction and I bet in a few decades almost nobody cooks with gas anymore.
Anon
Really? I mean I believe you, but herein Northern CA where we are now going to live with the constant threat of our power getting shut off for days at a time it feels kind of not right to force everyone to an electric stove.
Anon
Well, climate change is behind the heat waves and fires. If you want a way out of this hellscape, it’s switching to an all electric system based on renewables.
Anon
Fair.
Anonymous
I am in Los Altos and new reno has to be electric. I think the concept is over time we will have more battery storage for solar and won’t get wiped out every heat wave, but we clearly are not quite there.
Anon
I’ve had both. While I strongly prefer gas, I would hardly make that a reason to not purchase a home. In fact, we just found a ‘dream home’ a year ago without gas and we bought it and it’s still our dream home, even with this downgrade. I love to cook, too, but it’s really a nonissue for me. It took a little getting used to, of course, but it’s a negligible annoyance at worst.
Anon
20 years in and I miss my gas stove every day. For a variety of reasons, propane is not an option and the utility company won’t run the line 5 more houses to include where I live. There are certain types of cooking that I can’t do any more without the control of gas, but mostly, I just miss the instant control.
Anonymous
We have an induction cooktop, it works with our existing stainless steel cookware. Unlike coils, the temperature adjusts quickly. It’s also really easy to clean, which is nice for a small space.
anon a mouse
I still miss my gas stove and am counting down until we can do a renovation and add it into the current kitchen. My biggest complaint is that I can’t get the heat low enough for a low simmer without something actually boiling. I’ve had to give up making candy because I can’t get it to keep an even temperature — the burner kind of pulses high and then off, if that makes sense. I don’t know if that’s specific to my stove or all electric ones. If I were shopping for a stove I would pay close attention to the heat output at the low end and how well it can maintain even heat. No complaints about the oven, FWIW.
Anon
Candy and jam, RIP with electric, and agree on how maddening that cylcling on and off is. Gas for the win.
Anon
Not a big deal – that’s what double boilers are for. I’ve encountered the same thing with gas (though you can also buy a diffuser to deal with it on a gas range.
Anon
Nope. I am trying to make big batches where the double boiler option won’t work. 1). The burner cycles on and off, so temperature is inconsistent; 2) I cannot hit the temps I need; and 3) a pot big enough for my needs would extend past the burners and melt the finish on the edges of the cooktop.
Anonymous
I grew up with gas and now have induction which I prefer. I had electric in college and induction is just totally different. I know induction uses electricity as a heat sources but the responsiveness is just so completely different from regular electric.
If you’re used to gas, you’ll hate electric but induction may work for you.
Boarded-up windows
In my city, many businesses boarded up during the protests and then boarded up any windows that were broken. This was in late May / early June. Those windows are still boarded up and it just looks so dystopian (that and empty downtown areas). In your cities, have businesses fixed their broken windows? It feels as if they are bracing for more unrest and it all feels very unsettling whenever I have to go back to my office to get / drop off things. Will it take until after the election (or when?)
Anonymous
50/50. I live in the heart of the city and dystopian is the right word for it. Everyone is fleeing except homeless people and protestors.
Anon
I think it depends on the city. I’m in Nashville, and we had one night of rioting where almost every building downtown had a window broken, and several touristy shops on Broadway were damaged. Windows were definitely boarded up for a week or two after that (even covering windows that hadn’t been broken), but then they came off. Windows are now all fixed. We have had many protests since that night, all peaceful. We do have a lot of tourists still coming though, and downtown is pretty full of people (just not anyone actually working downtown).
Anon
Well, now people are worried about looters profiting from the wildfires in the Bay Area, so I expect windows to be boarded up at least that long. Too bad most residents don’t have boards on their private residences. One firefighter had his wallet stolen from his truck and his bank account drained while he was actively fighting on the fire line – how low can people go?
NY CPA
I drove down Fifth Avenue last week and most of the businesses had been repaired but there were still some that were boarded up. I don’t think it is bracing for more unrest, but more likely not anticipating reopening for awhile due to lack of business people and tourists in midtown, and therefore it’s a way to keep the business safe, since they’re already a sunk cost. Makes NYC look very weird though and pretty depressing that they’re signaling that they don’t expect to be able to reopen.
anonshmanon
agree. For smaller businesses, there is probably a lot of uncertainty as to whether they will reopen at all, so no point in making the repair investments at the moment. It won’t always be this way!
Anonymous
I don’t know about citywide, but there was vandalism in the retail district in my neighborhood, after which many businesses boarded up windows. Some have been removed, but the businesses that weren’t open anyway (lots are brand new and have not opened due to the pandemic) have remained boarded up. I also understand that there was some additional delay for many due to pandemic-related-delays in obtaining glass and installation services.
Seventh Sister
I’ve noticed the boards mostly coming down in my neighborhood – we didn’t see a lot of damage during the protest (a few broken windows) but were a couple miles from some areas that had more damage/people lighting cars on fire. There are a lot of local businesses that were in real trouble before the protests, and may have decided to close down without any notice.
I think some of the boards are being kept up by the landlords until they start trying to get a new tenant. The retail landlords in my area are pretty OK with vacant spaces even in normal times, and may be trying to wait out the current shutdown (esp. since gyms are closed and may want to try and re-let to places like barre studios when it’s possible to have indoor classes).
La Di Dah
I walked down Fillmore in SF the other day and half the businesses are boarded up and half of those won’t be returning.
In-House in Houston
Can anyone recommend a really firm pillow? I’ve used the Tempurpedic Rhapsody and it’s been the best pillow for me. It’s not cheap – I think it was $300 but sadly they don’t make it anymore and I’ve looked for something comparable and they don’t have it. When I say firm, I mean really firm. When I pick it up it’s heavy. My husband jokes that I’m sleeping on a penguin. TIA!
Cb
This is weird but the penguin made me think about it. What about a buckwheat yoga bolster? That definitely feels like sleeping on a penguin.
warren
Buckwheat pillow. I think mine was $60 on Amazon a few years ago.
Abby
Lulus has 50% off “fancy” dresses today if anyone is interested. I got a dress I was eyeing for $12.50 for a wedding I hope will happen next year!
ollie
Thanks! Just bought 2 dresses for $32.50 total! Now I just need some fabulous post-COVID events to wear them to
Anon
I’m having a really rough week (month, year…) in the Bay Area and want to do something to make myself feel better. I decided to embrace my inner basic B and search for some special holiday flavors for my homemade lattes. Where can I find a good pumpkin space flavoring and peppermint flavoring that aren’t too chock full of chemicals? I’d be open to easy recipes too if anyone has them.
Anon
There’s a company near me called Pink House Alchemy that makes really great syrups and bitters without weird chemicals. They’re spendy but very worth it. https://www.pinkhousealchemy.com/syrups
Try the Winter Mint and the Pumpkin Butternut Spice syrup. I also love the PH Delight and Cardamom.
Anonymous
Try searching for ‘organic simple syrup.’
Anon
Simple syrup is just water and sugar. Not what she’s after.
Diana Barry
You could put straight peppermint extract in – I do this when I am making peppermint lattes. Or use the Williams Sonoma peppermint hot chocolate mix – that is just chocolate shavings with peppermint extract in it.
Anon
Thanks all! I’ll check out Pink House Alchemy and Williams-Sonoma.
Kitchen/bath reno
We had some water damage and decided to redo our bathrooms and kitchen. I tried to do a full Maria Killam (thanks so much to whomever recommended her blog) and make the spendy permanent things as neutral as possible and true to a better version of what should have been in a 1920s Dutch Colonial (like a lot of white hex tile on bath floors — the 1920s were apparently obsessed with hygiene and white tile would show you where the dirt and germs were; SO LIKE TODAY!) with odd craftsman touches (so built-ins, window seats, below-window-seat storage). Original house was pre-central air, so you have a lot of windows (to get cross breezes on opposing / different walls (so not a lot of wall space; beds at times need to be oddly placed in relation to windows/doorways).
How long until it screams “2020 remodel” and I hate it?
I have a book of Craftsman floor plans and love the original ones except that I’d just make more/bigger bathrooms; the love of outdoor living spaces then is amazing.
Anon
Jealous of your Craftsman-ish house- I have a 1940s bungalow that was updated in the late 90s/early aughts, so there is a lot of golden oak cabinets and faux-Tuscany cheap beige granite. I also don’t want to go full 2015-2020’s farmhouse kitchen because it will be a very specific look (gray walls, gray floors, white farmhouse sink, white cabinets, white subway tile), but I think white hex tile in a bathroom is a great pick because future owners will be able to change up the towels, walls and shower curtain without a full reno ::cries in beige and black tile bathroom::
I see white cabinets being the golden oak or espresso cabinets of the future- white cabinetry is tough to keep clean 10 years out. I would pick a nice natural wood like cherry or maple that works with Craftsman aesthetic. Timeless kitchens are tough.
Anonymous
We did go a bit all-white in the kitchen, but previously had stained wood cabinets and stained wood floors and the varnish had begun wearing off of the cabinets (by the sink, by the trashcan pull-out, and by the “peninsula”). It was a lot of brown wood. We kept the wood floors and didn’t use gray anywhere else.
In our city, a trend is to have a painted island and we just didn’t do that (would be commitment to yet another solid color in an area). More b/c picking a paint color other than white would have been crippling to my husband.
We did use soapstone for some contrast (so it is Moira Rose as a color scheme idol). And I did get the farmhouse sink but had had a divided sink before (that I hated) and a giant stainless one in our rental (which I loved). My grandparents had a real farmhouse on a farm and I had always loved the giant sink. If anything, I wish it could be much larger with the integrated slated drain that my other grandmother had in her house in town. So much of cooking is cleaning. Especially in lockdown.
Anon
Also redoing a historic house (different era though) and I’m feeling a little twitchy too about the fact that so much “old” stuff is in style. Beadboard, hex tiles, subway tiles, butcher block all would have been authentic in my home…but if I use them, will it not be branded to 2020? I’m still pondering. I’m hoping that lots of continued research of authentic homes from my house’s era, to see how they really looked, will help me make the best decisions about what my house should look like and to weather the passing of years.
Anon
No, it won’t be branded to 2020. That stuff is classic, not trendy.
LaurenB
That’s what everyone said about the Tuscan look — that it was classic, not trendy — and now look how many people are rejecting it.
Anonymous
But Tuscan stuff is a look that doesn’t make sense in your average ranch or center-hall colonial. We arent in italy. The choices you’re making sound period Appropriate To your Particular house’s style; that makes them more likely to be timeless.
Anon
Yep, people said granite was classic and a natural stone and would never go out style. Everything goes in and out.
Anonymous
I went back and forth on a lot of this, but it convinced me that I was right to avoid accent tiles of any kind (at least as typically displayed in tile stores). I think you need some anchor otherwise the choices can be overwhelming and you can just get a hot mess of a reno.
I just wanted my house to be as it should have been (no wall-to-wall carpet; no mini blinds; no rotting deck (which is not very craftsman); windows that aren’t painted shut; bathrooms that are sized for someone who does not like their kneecaps touching a wet towel someone else used when on the toilet). Also: no wallpaper (especially in bathrooms in the SEUS — it never stays stuck even if you can stand the pattern). No bad vinyl tiles in the bathroom. No questionable plumbing fixes.
I also took a pass on the very large soaking tub. I had one at a lovely hotel and thought it would be a good way to break a hip or have my kids crack their heads open (the sides are very high, coupled with the elevation just made things awkward to climb in and out of). So photogenic though.
A friend has an ancient stove of weird size and I would love to have it b/c it has one large oven and maybe 3 small ones. That was typical for at least one grandmother (who was dirt poor, so it wasn’t a La Cornue or anything like that). Just for someone who bakes a lot and at different temperatures.
Veronica Mars
It’s all about context. If you’re doing things that make sense in the context of your home, and have other elements that also make sense, you’ll be fine. But if you renovate your kitchen and do navy lower cabinets and white uppers; with an island with that white faux marble quartz, and white subway tile backsplash, and beadboard on the walls– yeah, that will look 100% dated because the entire context is 2020 trends.
Senior Attorney
I think if it’s consistent with the style of the house, it will age well whether or not it happens to be popular today.
A word of warning, though, don’t put white grout with the white floor tile because it will be impossible to keep clean. (Ask me how I know.) Go with gray or tan or similar. Also I had black hex tile with black grout in my guest bathroom and it was fabulous, so that’s an option, too.
Anonymous
Agreed — grey grout for the win
Anon
FYI – if you are trying to get on Zoom and having issues, we just figured out the problem is with Chrome and had to switch to Edge to get it to work. I just want to save anyone else the panic I just had being late for an important meeting!
Carrots
Ah thank you! I have a training on Zoom today that is supposed to start in 10 minutes, so I’ll pass this along to the people supporting it!
Anon
it’s not just with Chrome. there is a worldwide Zoom tech issue today.
Anon
I saw that but whatever was happening, using Edge fixed it for me. Everyone that couldn’t get in was on Chrome. I heard it was related to first day of school issues.
Anon
I got a $150 gift card to Athleta for my birthday! I’ve never bought anything from Athleta before. What are the must-haves? What’s overrated?
I don’t want to waste it on a top I could have gotten at Target… their basics look nice, but are the tops really worth $60?
I am five four and a petite pear, and I do a mix of running, yoga, HIIT, and other cardio like zumba and kickboxing.
I love tops with interesting details, but I am not seeing very many on Athleta’s site!
Anon
I like the Salutation Stash Leggings and the Farallon Shorts. I’ve never found a top on their website I liked. I have also had really mixed experiences with their running gear– some of the leggings work well for me and some are terrible. It’s also frustrating because they change them out ever few months, so I never know what to get. The good thing is that Athleta will accept returns after you’ve worn something, so if you go for a run and the leggings are awful, you can return.
ollie
+1 to the Salutation Stash leggings. Also love their sports bras, sweatshirts, and the Nirvana Wear Two Ways Wrap
Anon
i have the pranayama wrap and really like it.
Anonymous
I am wearing it right now! Size down, as it runs big.
Anokha
+1 for the Pranayama wrap. I am a huge fan and thinking about buying it in multiple colors.
SmallLawAtl
I have 3 Athleta down vests and wear one of them nearly daily in the winter. Also, if you wear leggings, their long tops are actually long enough for leggings. I have one cashmere sweater that they don’t make any more but that I’ve bought three times. I wore the first one out; then, while traveling, I lost the second one, which I’d found on Poshmark;I bought a third on Poshmark to replace the lost one. I agree that their short-sleeve tops and tanks are nothing special.
Anonymous
The good and “bad”/frustrating thing about Athleta is they cater to a lot of different body types, so you can almost certainly find something AWESOME but you might have to try a lot of items to find that one unicorn. But just about everything I have from there is excellent quality and has held up for many years and much abuse (no way will I ever line dry workout clothes – it’s going in the dryer). Some of their fabrics are buttery soft; it might be a plain t-shirt or tank top but it feels luxurious. Their sweaters are great too, they drape nicely and they’re a good weight for layering.
anon
For working out, I really like the Momentum tank and the Speedlight tops. IMO, they are worth the price. The fabric is nicer than anything I’d find at Target. I also don’t mind wearing them outside the house; they look nicer than other technical tops.
Party Animal
I am also a petite pear and LOVE the Trekkie shorts.
hi hi hi
I own the Santorini-style dress in about 10 different prints I think (or so it feels like it). I’ve probably only got another 3-4 weeks this year to wear them but I do still love them after 3-4 years / wear them almost every day in the summer and on vacations. Athleta doesn’t make as many as it used to but now is the time to get them as they will go on sale over the next few weeks.
Anon
The Run Free 7/8 Tights are my very favorite workout gear ever.
Meara
I tried a pair of their jeans on because I was in the store and they had a pair on deep clearance, and they ended up being a favorite of mine! Flattering but stretchy and didn’t fall down. (Sadly, they don’t currently fit)
Anonymous
I am SO PROUD of myself for finding a solution to this problem, I wanted to share in case anyone else has experienced this. Some local restaurants only deliver through Door Dash, including some restaurants that are now delivery only (no takeout). The app glitches on me constantly. I have two credit cards and Apple Pay set up on the app, but sometimes it will decline my card on every form of payment. I can successfully use my card on other apps, so the problem is with the app not my card(s). I read online that a lot of people are having this problem sporadically. This weekend, the same thing was happening again, and I noticed that you can buy yourself Door Dash electronic gift cards (their website has no problem with my card) then apply the GC balance to your account in the app. And it worked! I can now use the app and support tiny local businesses that are Door Dash delivery-only!
Anon
Their app is terrible. You can also order through their webs*te. That often works for me when the app is not working.
Sunshine
Recommendations for bowls and plates that don’t get really hot in the microwave? Husband has a blister on his finger today after putting a bowl of soup in the microwave for 2.5 minutes last night; we need to buy new bowls.
anon
Also looking for recommendations! We have a set of cheap stoneware dishes that are 15+ years old, and we can’t put them in the microwave anymore for this reason. They get dangerously hot while the food stays lukewarm. I’ve considered replacing with Fiestaware, which is much better quality, but can’t quite pull the trigger because I’m afraid of having the same issue with anything stoneware.
Senior Attorney
I love my Fiesta and haven’t ever noticed it getting too hot in the microwave.
anon
Out of curiosity, what color(s) do you have? If I go the Fiesta route, something tells me I’ll end up with ALLLL the colors because I can’t commit. :)
Senior Attorney
I have all white. So funny — when I was married to my last husband we had all the colors and I told myself if I had it to do over again I’d do plain white. Then he ended up with the Fiesta and I did have it to do over again and I’m very happy with the white!
anon
We have cozy-s for our bowls in the microwave. Google “microwave bowl cozy” and you’ll find quilted covers to solve your immediate problem while you debate new plates.
cat socks
Corelle. My mom just bought me a set for my birthday. They are lightweight and do well in the microwave.
AnonATL
Our Corelle does really well in the microwave.
It can get hot, but not anywhere close to what ceramics and stone wear does.
Mrs. Jones
Corelle is great in the microwave.
Anon
+1 to Corelle
Anon
Bonus – Ikea has very affordable, modern, & chic tempered glass (aka Corelle). We LOVE ours, and clumsy me can’t break them.
anon
I have stoneware that gets really hot in the microwave. I’ve found that when I microwave on half power, the food gets hot instead of the bowl or plate.
Anon
All of our bowls and plates do this – I just remove everything that goes into the microwave with pot holders.
Anon
+ this seems to happen with all my bowls and plates too. I microwave them on top of a potholder, so when I am ready to lift out of the microwave, I don’t have to touch the bowl at all.
Anonymous
I heat a lot of things in a Pyrex measuring cup. The handle doesn’t get hot.
Nelly Yuki
I know people haven’t been that impressed with ThreadUp, but I’m wondering if it’s more worthwhile for clothes that are new with the tags on (missed the return window) from Target and Old Navy, or if I should save myself the hassle and donate.
Anon
I sent them a lot of NWT clothes from places like Old Navy, Ann Taylor and H&M and they rejected a lot of it and what little they accepted they paid me a tiny fraction of what it cost (like $3 for a $50 H&M dress). I would definitely just donate, or Poshmark if you’re willing to invest more time into it.
Anon
Mercari?
Anony
ThredUp isn’t allowing most people to send in anything and they went all consignment; so it’s a more labor intensive than when they just gave a straight pay out. You have to adjust your prices, etc. If you can print a label or get a Clean-Out bag, there is a 6-month processing delay and most people’s bags are scheduled for December-ish (I’m in a TU group on FB with both buyers and sellers, not affiliated w/ TU).
I’ve had good luck with Mercari and I just starting Poshing (it’s so MUCH work – follow, share, follow, share) and too social for me but I have had a couple sales. I’m been on Merc since like 2014 and love it. So easy and not social like PM. You could make it really easy if the clothes are 1 size and make pre-made bundles – “Old Navy, LOFT, Target Clothing Bundle – Size S”.
Nelly Yuki
Thanks! They are all the same size – that sounds manageable.
Anon
I would try a bundle on Facebook Marketplace. I did that recently and it was so much easier to deal with than something like ThredUp or Poshmark.
Anon
I feel like there was a thread on this recently, but websites recommended to buy reasonable (but super cute!) removable wallpaper? I’ve been looking on Etsy and it *seems* like it is pricier than I would have expected, but maybe that is just what it is.
Also, would putting it on a wall that has a window I would need to cut it around be too advanced of a skill set for me do you think?
Anonymous
I just did wallpaper on one wall for my nursery and we used 3 rolls from Wayfair and waited for it to go on sale. We bought the extra roll and were glad it took the pressure off needing everything to be perfect in terms of maximizing use. This was my first time doing it and after watching a few YouTube videos felt reasonably confident. Turned out great but was a bit of work. Make sure you get the right tools. Also two people installation was necessary, not sure I could’ve done it on my own.
Anon
Thanks!
The one that got away
I keep thinking about the conversation about the friend who dated a man who was not a fit on paper but was perfect for her in reality. I dated a guy like that in college. My friends told me he wasn’t intellectual enough, and at 21, their opinions mattered to me. Never mind that he was kind, smart, and generous in and out of bed. He married the next girl he dated after me.
He’s the one that got away. So, ‘rettes, who’s yours?
Anon
My high school boyfriend. He wouldn’t actually be a fit for me today, but we loved each other and had a great romance. He lived on a ranch near the ocean where I took riding lessons (before we were dating) and we’d sneak into the tack room and make out, which was all my 13-year-old self needed to be happy. I still think of how carefree it all felt and how well we got along. When I saw him at a reunion a few years ago, I felt an initial jolt of electricity, but the thought of actually getting back with him isn’t appealing for a variety of reasons.
Sadly, he’s still on the same ranch now building a firebreak against the insane wildfires we’ve having. I hope he and his parents are okay.
LaurenB
Ha, ha, this isn’t the one who got away because he was wrong for me on so many levels, but I had a serious high school / college boyfriend. He was Jewish and very proud of his Jewish heritage. Fast forward many years later, I find him on Facebook and say hello. He was now an evangelical Christian (which I never would have foreseen), is involved in the gun industry, has sharply conservative political views (though not a Trumper, more a Ted Cruz type), and he named his daughter the name that he and I had discussed naming our eventual daughter :-)
Anon
Wow!
Anon
I hope I don’t get flamed for this story taking a turn, but here’s mine: At 16, the one I met in high school from another state while on a school trip to another city. Intense seven days together, but went to our separate states (regions; not drive-able). For a number of weeks following we were in touch constantly but it petered out. I never stopped thinking about him. Like, it was always in the background of my mind through college and other relationships. With the advent of FB, we would occasionally post on the other’s wall to say hi but that was pretty much it – with no more frequency than 1x/year. Then, with the aid of social media, we found out we were in the same city at the same time at 25 years old. We were engaged at 28, married at 29, and have a kid, a dog, a mortgage and a full life now at 37…. He got away but I got him back ;)
Senior Attorney
That? Is amazing! Love it!!
Marie
This just put a giant smile on my face :)
Vicky Austin
This is SO sweet.
Anonymous
Right after college, I met someone who I clicked with immediately. I was living in a university town but was set to leave in 6-8 weeks for a fellowship in another location. We dated long-distance for 18 months. But around month 10, I started yet another job in another location and met someone on the job who I also really clicked with. We formed a very close friendship, hung out most weekends when I wasn’t visiting my BF, and had a few physical encounters. In the end, my BF broke up with me when it looked like I was not going to solve the long-distance issue by going to school near him, but instead stay put to attend a better program. I should have leaped at the opportunity to date the co-worker, but I was really damaged by the break up and ended up rejecting him in the moment. He was very hurt and we lost touch as a result. Years later, I reached out to apologize in person and he told me then that he was engaged. To this day, I regret that decision to hang onto hopes about something that was over to the detriment of something that could have been. The co-worker would have been a much better long-term match for me, better than anyone I’ve encountered since, and I really do think my life would have turned out better with him in it. I don’t know if the same holds true for him, but I genuinely hope not.
anon
A high school boyfriend. I broke up with him because of my own insecurities, and honestly, I didn’t treat him very well when we were together. Now he lives in Australia, is a teacher, and posts pictures on social media of things like building a shed in the backyard and carving furniture from reclaimed wood and cooking beautiful meals. Oh, and he’s still hot and is a musician (not professional, but I always liked his voice).
Anon
I, too, would like to pick this poster’s high school boyfriend.
Anon
Ha ha.
Anon
I took a weekend trip to another city with a friend, about a year after my divorce. After a few drinks, we decided to download Tinder just for fun, to check out the guys in that city. I ended up matching with a guy who was adorable, fascinating, and genuinely funny, and with my friend’s encouragement met him for a drink that night. We hooked up. It was great. Unfortunately, by then I was pretty drunk and told him that I was absolutely not interested in long distance (he genuinely seemed disappointed) and that was a one night fun thing. For a few weeks, we exchanged flirty texts here and there, and then it petered out. I’m very happy with my now-boyfriend, who lives in my city and is perfect for me in every way, but until I met him, I wondered about that other guy all the time, and what would have happened if I hadn’t told him flat out that it was a one time thing. Probably nothing, but still.
anon for this
Boy in high school – we were pretty close our senior year but I never thought he liked me enough to go for it, plus it would have made things weird (the age-old reasoning). Now he lives across the country, had a major glow-up, got a cool job, and his girlfriend seems cool as hell too. I’m also happily married.
Ghost ships, I suppose.
Vicky Austin
Not super serious, but I had an on/off halfhearted crush on a sweet guy a grade below me in high school. We were on the track and cross-country teams together; I was insecure about being horrendously slow to his school-record-breaking fast and never pushed anything, even though we had similar senses of humor and got along really well. He ended up graduating with my class (must have taken some accelerated credits or something) and is now a chemistry PhD student in the PNW. And totally hot. I love my husband like nobody else, but sometimes I think I should have taken a risk and seen what happened with this guy.
Anon For This
My childhood best friend. We grew up together in a very small town– one of my earliest memories is putting together a puzzle with him in Kindergarten. We were in school together K through 12th grade. He was football captain, I was cheerleading captain, and we studied together every week for classes. Everyone said we should date, but we both were very against it because what if it went wrong and we lost our best friendship… also, I thought of him more like a brother. (But he was so handsome! What was I thinking!?)
After graduation, we went to different colleges and he joined the military. We wrote letters and talked monthly. I still have all his letters. We would meet up at home on breaks from school. Every Thanksgiving we had a standing movie “date” at the old twin cinema we used to go to in high school. One year, Thanksgiving night, as we left the movie theater, he became very serious and told me he needed to talk with me.
He told me he was being deployed. He said that when he found out, his first thought was that he needed to tell me he loved me. As soon as he said it, I knew I loved him too. We laughed about how it took us twenty years to figure this out, why we hadn’t seen it before, etc., and made plans for how we could combine our lives when he came home.
He deployed the next week, but he never came home. He was killed in action. It’s been almost twenty years now. I think about him almost every day. I’m now very happily married with a beautiful family. But he is the one that got away.
Anon
I am so so so sorry to hear this.
Anon
Oh man. I’m so glad I’m not the only happily married person that still thinks about “the one that got away” at times. I went to HS in this small rural town in Mass. My friends and I took a trip to Boston where we road the T like cool people. While we were on the T, one of my friends runs into a guy he knows from a rival HS sports team, one town over. Him and I locked eyes on the T and it was just this total instant connection. He was hot. He was smart. He was nice. He was athletic. He came from a good family. We were vibing HARD. Problem was, I had been dating the same guy since 8th grade and it was now our senior year. HS boyfriend’s life was going off the rails and I knew we wouldn’t make it with me in college but I just couldn’t break up with him. He broke up with me for two weeks and yet I still got back together with him when he begged.
I went to a couple hang outs and hot guys house while HS boyfriend was at camp. We agreed we couldn’t kiss until I broke up with HS boyfriend because cheating was bad. We sat super close to each other and hugged for the longest time when I left. We might have even held hands. We were even going away to college in the same state!
Two months into college I finally broke up with HS boyfriend. I tried to make plans to visit hot guy at his school but he had a girlfriend now and he didn’t want me to visit because he was afraid he would cheat on her if we were alone together.
A few weeks later I met the man that is now my husband. We had been dating a few months when hot guy called me to see if I wanted to go skiing. I guess things didn’t work out with his new gf. I said I’d love to go skiing but also mentioned my current BF. He wasn’t interested in going skiing as friends. So we didn’t. We never talked again!
I’ve tried to find him on social media just out of curiosity. No luck, and it’s probably a good thing. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband and love him to pieces and we clicked pretty quickly and easily too.
But I’ve never in my life had that “love at first sight” sort of feeling that I had with hot guy when we met on the T.
Anon
Oh, and my husband doesn’t ski. In all of my “what could have been” thoughts, I think about the epic ski weekends we would have had. My husband is cool with coming on ski trips with friends though and hanging in the cabin but skiing with someone is awesome.
My other “one that got away” I’m way less curious about but he’s someone I would never have seriously dated because of his political and religious views at the time that didn’t jive with mine. Now he shares my views and I would have never ever imagined that. He’s still pretty religious though but has found a way to reconcile the two which few people do.
Anonymous
I’m interested (and have been for a while/2 years now) in getting botox in my forehead to smooth out some deep wrinkles I have there. For anyone who has done this, (1) how did you go about finding a provider, and choosing between a med-spa type provider vs. a dermatologist vs. plastic surgeon, (2) how often do you go back, (3) how much does it realistically cost (4) anything you wish you had known before getting botox/words of wisdom? I’m 34 and in Charlotte if that’s helpful for anything. I also don’t expect this to make my skin look perfect, but rather just lessen these wrinkles. TIA
Sunshine
I started doing it at 25. I go to my derm for it. I pay $300 every four to six months for my forehead/and the 11’s, but I’m 100% sure he is giving me the “long term client” discount because the cost hasn’t gone up since I started 15 years ago. Nothing I wish I’d known beforehand, but I’m so glad I’ve done it because I tend to squint and raise my eyebrows so, as I move in on 40, I think I have fewer lines in my enormous forehead.
Anonymous
I go to my dermatologist for Botox. I prefer this because I already had a relationship with him (for acne) and along with Botox I can get a Retin-A prescription. I go every 5 – 6 months, and get filler every other appointment. I found that once I’d had Botox and filler a few times, I am able to go longer spans between appointments. It costs between $1050 and $1400, depending on discounts, etc. in a relatively high cost of living area. The one thing I wish I had known initially is that I don’t need the numbing cream. I have a pretty high pain threshold, and the numbing cream adds more time to your appointment and I don’t like the texture or sensation. I just use an ice pack.
Anonymous
I would recommend going to the dermatologist versus the med-spa type places. I have gone to both and the med-spa places just were not as good. I only do it once a year, because of the cost, but it last about 6-8 months so that is good enough for me.
Anonyz
1. I reviewed local options on RealSelf, and chose a place that ended up having far higher quality and quantity reviews than any other provider in driving distance. It is a med-spa. I see one specific highly-recommended nurse; I learned that lesson when she went on maternity leave and my results with a different nurse were unacceptable. If she left the business, I would follow her.
2. Every 3 months. I have severe RBF (thanks mom and grandma) and burn through it fast.
3. $10-12 per unit, depending on if they are running any specials or if I’ve earned enough points on my Brilliant Distinctions account. Total comes out to $250-350 depending on what all I have done; I tend to rotate since the efficacy rate varies by location.
4. I wish I’d started younger (started at 39). It works better the smaller the “starter” wrinkles are.
Anon
I recommend using a plastic surgeon if possible. In Charlotte, Hunstaad Kortesis Bharti is excellent. Board certified plastic surgeons are highly trained to do this and you will have the lowest possible risk of something going wrong (ie, dropping a brow or similar).
Also agree that numbing cream isn’t absolutely necessary, Ice is fine for me. It’ll be a bit red that day but not bad. It won’t fully take effect until a few days later, and max effectiveness is 2 weeks later. It lasts for 3 months and will be pretty gone after 4-5 (all in my experience).
Highly recommend it. After being diligent with all the expensive skin creams and serums, I got “wow your skin looks AMAZING” comments after Botox. It highly exceeded my expectations and erased the faint lines I was getting in my forehead when resting (I expected the lines to just not get worse; didn’t think it was possible they would leave completely! I think that is because I started getting Botox at 30 and they weren’t fully etched in yet).
Good luck and let us know if you like it!
Anon
I don’t get it any more but highly recommend a dermatologist or plastic surgeon over a med spa. I’ve dome it at plastic surgeon and derm, liked the results slightly better with the plastic surgeon, but both were good.
I used Corey Maas in SF and Katie Rodan in Oakland. Both were excellent and have great front-of-house staff.
CountC
I see a reconstructive plastic surgeon who takes appointments at one of the local salons. I think I get 25 units and they are $12/unit which is one of the better prices in the area. When I am going regularly, I can go every six months. Download the Brilliant Distinctions app – you can get coupons for future usage if you spend a certain amount of money.
Fullyfunctional
My dentist actually does it, I get my forehead and crows feet done every 6 months and it’s about $750 each time. I’m 50.
Anonymous
Does Garnet Hill ever have free shipping or even just free shipping if you spend X amount? They have a bathrobe I want to order, but their shipping prices are absurdly expensive (and by amount spent), so it’s not worth it unless I can find a shipping discount and so far, no luck.
Anonymous
Sometimes their % off promotions include free shipping.
Can we talk real estate
Is anyone here house hunting? We started recently and had were shocked by the low inventory. Too many buyers, not enough inventory. Would love to hear others’ recent experiences as we navigate this process a second time (but in a completely different situation).
Senior Attorney
I’m not house hunting but my new hobby is looking at expensive houses on Zillow!
Anon
Strongly recommend looking at Manhattan condos >$15mm…. it’s FASCINATING to see some of these places!!
Senior Attorney
YES!
Anonymous
From the other side: We would like to sell our house and build (or maybe buy) a better one, but are staying put for now because there is so much risk and uncertainty. We don’t want to start building our new house and then have it stalled because of new public health restrictions, have the economy crash so no one can buy our existing house or our loan falls through, lose our jobs, etc. We also don’t want to take the exposure risk of showing our house or even preparing it for sale (carpet cleaning, etc.) during a pandemic.
Anonymous
We recently bought a second home. The inventory was crazy low and things were selling pretty fast. We were amazingly fortunate to find the perfect place. I looked at new inventory every morning and my realtor was amazing. We were buying in another city but she quickly learned exactly what we wanted and she did a bunch of walk through video calls with us as soon as houses came on the market. Hang in there. You will find the right place!
Veronica Mars
We moved last year in a very low inventory market, and our market has been like that for several years as more and more people move into our city from HCOL areas. My tip is when you finally see the house you want, to really be aggressive and go over asking. So many of my friends were really timid, or would do a full priced offer and just hope that it went through. When we finally saw our house, it was well within our budget and we offered $25k over asking price. Our realtor said she was only comfortable recommending we do $20k over, but my husband and I had seen so many houses we felt we really knew the houses’s value and we didn’t want to lose the house over $5k (not to mention, we would save $$$ if they accepted the offer and we didn’t have to move into storage, so we’d recoup some of that $5k in lack of storage/2x move costs). We offered $25k over, got the house, and it appraised EXACTLY how much we offered. Exactly. So it ended up perfectly, and even if it had only appraised for $20k over and we had to pay the 5k out of pocket, we were willing to do it to secure the house. (Which has now gone up in value by about 10% since we bought last year due to even more increased demand in my area)
Veronica Mars
I should add, our house was priced well under market in order to get a bidding war. We knew it was undervalued so that’s why we were so aggressive.
Vicky Austin
We are! For what amounts to the first time (our current house was bought directly from the prior owner, which I will never do again). Our local market is wacky in general, so I don’t know how much help I can be of, but our realtors are telling us it’s definitely a sellers’ market here (upper Midwest).
CHS
It is so intense right now. We bought in April, and jumped when something came on the market that roughly fit our needs after seeing the market hit the skids in March. We got into a bidding war and paid over asking, and while sometimes I question whether we overpaid, generally I’m really grateful to have gotten anything, and to be worrying about furniture placement vs. furniture storage right now. I feel like there might be deals to be had in a year or so, but we needed and wanted a home during that time, so went for it. So no advice, just commiseration!
CountC
Inventory has been low in many parts of the country for some time now. I sold/bought last summer and it was crazy how quickly so-so houses went off the market. The house I was selling went under contract two days after being listed to the first person who looked it.
Anon
Welp, Hong Kong confirms COVID reinfection less than 5 months after initial infection: https://www.nbcnews.com/science/science-news/hong-kong-man-was-reinfected-coronavirus-researchers-say-n1237840
They sequenced the two viruses and they were genetically different so this isn’t a case of the virus reactivating. Not great news for eradicating the virus, because even an incredibly effective vaccine would have to be given over and over again to prevent the virus from spreading. But the good news is the second case was asymptomatic, so there’s hope that once most people have some immunity (either through a vaccine or a first infection) we won’t be seeing anywhere near the degree of illness and death we’re seeing now.
Anonymous
Let’s quote the actual good news from the article. “This is no cause for alarm – this is a textbook example of how immunity should work.” Source: Akiko Iwasaki, a professor of immunobiology at Yale University.
There is very good news about the virus and collective immunity in Brazil in the Washington Post today.
Anonymous
Aren’t we expecting that the vaccine will have to be given yearly like the flu shot? I definitely wasn’t expecting the vaccine to be a one and done kind of thing.
Anon
Why did you think that?
Anon
I have heard that as a strong possibility too.
Anon
I have a WTF multi function printer that weighs approx 55 lbs. Any recommendations for a cart or stand? It takes up 1/3 of the space on my desk, and I’d rather move it elsewhere. Most of the stands with casters online, however, don’t tolerate that weight.