Weekend Open Thread: Addict Lip Glow

102 Comments

1. How do kids clubs work at fancy resorts? Isn’t it just like sticking your kids in all-day babysitting?

   1. Yep! You just sign them in at the start of the day (or whenever) then you leave.

   2. Check the hours. Ours was good but not a full day.

      1. For anyone who wants to use one, check hours before you go! Friends of our ended up at a place where the club had a 45 minute limit before a parent had to check in to touch base. Totally different from the ones where you can drop off for a few hours at a time, theirs was so restrictive they ended up not using it.

   3. Good ones should have fun activities – more like summer camp than babysitting

   4. They have hours. Getting the kids to stay in them is another issue.

   5. what do you mean, how do they work? There are staff members who supervise the kids. Activities range from basic stuff that you could do anywhere, like watching movies or playing games, to more organized stuff like treasure hunts or a lesson on steel drums or painting seashells or whatever. If you’re thinking of a specific property, ask here and you might get intel, or look on Google or Tripadvisor reviews.

   6. It sounds like you just want to be judgy about parents using kids clubs but I’ll bite: my kids love going and we’ve never used it as an all day thing. We look at the schedule and pick what interests them. Usually an hour or two a day depending on what activities are happening. Quality varies quite a bit.

      1. Def judgey.

   7. I’ve only used it at Beaches T&C. It’s open all day and you can drop in/out as convenient to you. That’s really it. They have programming so you can pick a certain hour or two that might particularly appeal to your kids, but it’s pretty casual. In that case we dropped our toddler off for 2 hours in the morning so we could do some big kid activities with our 8 year old. 2 year old did “water play” or something during that time. Everyone was happy.

      Some people absolutely leave their kids all day. I have mixed thoughts about that, tbh. I don’t think you should park your kid in tropical daycare all day. But, if my 8 year old wants to stay at the Disney Cruise kids club for half a day, or more, because it’s as awesome as it allegedly is, well.. fine!

      1. My parents used to drop me at those clubs as a kid and I don’t blame them. My mom deserved a break, she did too much and didn’t have appropriate support.

      2. We loved our Disney cruise, but my daughter found the kids club underwhelming, especially compared to Beaches. It was really the ONLY part of the cruise that didn’t love up to my expectations. YMMV, hope you have a better experience but just an fyi.

   8. Wait are people judging people for “all day babysitting” here now? Like the daycare where I “stuck” my kids five days a week for years? Were you all judging then too or is it the time in club med kids’ camp making friends and playing Marco Polo that really makes someone a bad parent?

      1. well DH’s parents stuck him in club med camps and he HATED them. I have kids and have left them at a kids club for a bit on vacation, but with my kids’ buy in and not all day.

         1. We only went on cruises not resorts but my dad always tried to convince me to go the kids clubs and I hatred it. By the time this was happening I was maybe 10-15 so pretty awkward ages to meet people you don’t know and I was a shy introvert who was really uncomfortable with it. My dad acted like there was something wrong with me because I didn’t want to go, and I felt like he was trying to get rid of me.

         2. The parents of the kind of kid who hates this kind of stuff probably need the break the most.

            1. Seriously. When I was a kid, I was given a book to read and made to entertain myself. I was just happy to be at a lake and take myself on walks while my dad and brother fished and mom read. I would have loved to actually have had something to do like a craft or activity. If that’s what you hated about your childhood, it speaks volumes.

            2. I don’t know. I posted above about my dad pressuring me to go to cruise kids clubs and me hating it because I was shy and introverted. I don’t think I made my parents’ lives any harder than a typical kid and was actually a very “easy” kid by a lot of metrics – neurotypical, well-behaved, did great in school and activities, entertained myself easily (especially with access to a library), etc.

               I love him and we have a decent relationship now, but my father should not have had kids. He had no idea what parenting entailed and clearly didn’t enjoy it. Him trying to get rid of me at every turn was way more reflective of his ambivalence towards parenthood than my behavior. It was obviously bigger than just this one situation, but I think it’s kind of a leap to say parents of kids who hate kids clubs need a break the most.

            3. But they do. Because regardless of how wonderful you think you were as a child, your parents deserved a break from you sometimes. All parents do. It sounds like they never got it. My extrovert kid is seemingly never here and also incredibly fun to be around. He’d love a kids club. We don’t need him to be in one because in our day to day life he’s a busy kid who is constantly at a friend’s house or doing a million activities. At family friendly events he’s not sitting with us, he’s off with three other kids he just met. We get plenty of adult time.

               Maybe your parents just wanted to reconnect for a few hours on what seems like a nice vacation that they planned and paid for and brought you on. That’s normal and healthy. Even as an adult you can’t recognize that sometimes parents need alone time? Maybe there’s more to this, like you went to boarding school and only saw your parents on vacation? I don’t know I trust you think there was more to it. Regardless of whatever big picture issues there were with your dad, he wasn’t a villain for asking you to try something, even if it wasn’t your thing, for the benefit of the family as a whole.

            4. Not saying parents can’t want or take a break in general. I was responding to someone who said that the kids you most need a break from are the kids that don’t like a kid’s club and I don’t think that’s true? I think extroverted kids who are likelier to be happy at a kids club can be more exhausting to parent than introverted kids. As someone who is now parenting one of each. I know someone will inevitably say I hate my extroverted kid, so I will caveat this by saying *of course* I love and deeply enjoy both my kids and in many ways my personality and interests vibe better with my extrovert, but my extrovert kid talks my ear off 24/7 and we can go hours without seeing our introvert kid, and I was definitely more like the introvert as a kid.

               Also fwiw my parents took kid-free vacations regularly, which was fine with me, and I happily went to sleepaway camp every summer from 8-18 and when I was home spent hours and hours alone in my room reading or playing pretend. It was the forced socialization of a kid’s club especially at that awkward tween age (a shy, introvert’s nightmare) that I objected to, not being apart from my parents. There is nothing wrong with wanting an occasional break but there are different ways to get parenting breaks and ideally you consider your kids’ needs as well as your own.

            5. Why can’t they get a break while their kid does something their kid doesn’t hate though?

               I would have loved to have been given a book to read. I hated it when adults tried to dump me with other kids like a dog at a kennel.

            6. Needing a babysitter for a toddler or elementary school age child is one thing . A preteen or teenager doesn’t need to be in kidcare. She’d probably be happier in the hotel room by herself! But there was never a vacation where I didn’t want to be with my son for any part of the day.

      2. People have been judging moms here for any kind of childcare for decades. It’s spilling over the mom page now but that’s more recent.

      3. I’m not worried about it. I’m not a resort person myself but I’m looking forward to skiing with my husband for a few hours while our toddler goes to the ski school/daycare onsite. When we have fun and take care of ourselves, he benefits too.

   9. They generally have the hours/activities available at check in. We’ve generally asked my kids when they wanted to go and they typically went for a few hours over 2-3 days of our trip. The nice thing is that they often make friends at the resort and they can play together/make plans.
      I didn’t treat it like camp/daycare, but it was nice to give the adults time to have a spa treatment, go on an adult excursion or just have dinner alone.

   10. Definitely check hours and check out the venue before you commit. Our cruise ship kids clubs had a fantastic team running the activities, and it operated around meal times (meaning you dine with your kiddo and then drop off for a few hours). Our son loved it and couldn’t wait to go back.

2. I feel like I love my DH more than he loves me, and that I need him more than he needs me.

   My friend’s husband passed away unexpectedly, and she’s absolutely gutted. She claims she will always love him, always miss him, and the pain of losing him will always be with her. I can’t know how I would react in a similar situation, but this seems like how I would feel if I lost my husband. I think my husband would feel sad, but I think he would find another relationship quickly if I was gone. I feel like I would be comparing any future prospects to DH, but he wouldn’t be comparing anyone to me.

   I miss him when I travel, I send lots of texts and pictures of what I’m up, I want to talk to him when we’re apart, etc.

   I just don’t think he misses me. He’s more introverted and needs more alone time in general, but I feel like he doesn’t notice or feel like he’s missing something if we didn’t talk for a few days when we’re apart. I don’t think he has an urge to talk to me about his day or his thoughts regularly.

   I know he loves me, and we still have good conversations and gardening, but it just feels a bit deflating to think that he doesn’t miss me and wouldn’t miss me. I’m like a nice bonus in his life, but not essential and likely quite replaceable.

   1. in the nicest and least judgy way possible… this post is cray cray. First of all, all studies show that men are more likely to remarry than women and also that those that had had previoushappy relationships are more likely to marry again. meaning that yes, if you died your husband statistically might get married again. the connection you are making between missing him when you travel and missing him when he is dead is really something you could spend some time exploring.

      1. eh I can see where she’s coming from but I do think this is maybe a traumatic response to grief for your friend/her DH. it sounds like you love him and he loves you, don’t borrow trouble.

         1. Yeah. I want to hug this op. I’m betting all this stuff is really sad and heavy and those feelings might be coming out in kind of oblique ways. If she were my friend irl I’d tell her to spend time doing something cheerful, comforting or relaxing and try remind herself that she’s also going through a lot by supporting her friend.

      2. +1 it’s a well known trope that widowers remarry faster than widows. You’re way overthinking this imo.

   2. This sounds very clingy.

      1. +1. Are you otherwise emotionally needy or do you have fear of abandonment from childhood trauma?

   3. Good news. When you’re dead you won’t care. So why borrow trouble?

   4. Be grateful you feel this way about you partner, most people dont.

      1. I was going to post that I have fallen out of love with my husband and I think my life might be better without him. For complicated reasons, I’m not considering divorce (or infidelity, and anyway we still have sex). Trust me, being the one who’s not in love doesn’t feel great.

   5. Please read this in a kind tone – this really seems like a good thing to discuss with a therapist, if it’s bothering you. You’ve offered a lot about your perception about what he feels like, or how you feel he feels, but your feelings about his feelings may not be accurate perceptions of his feelings. This is all just your perspective – but what about his? Have you discussed it with him? It’s really important to learn how to assess the distinction between stories we tell ourselves and reality, and learn to question those stories. A therapist can help you do that. And no, this isn’t asking you to doubt your intuition, or yourself. That’s why I recommend a trained therapist. You don’t want to live your life based on presumptions that may not be true.

      1. +1.

   6. You are like my husband and I am like yours. However, if I were single I would probably not remarry. As much as I love my husband, I would be okay with solo life. That doesn’t mean I would not miss him tremendously, nor does it mean I don’t value him and our relationship. I am confident enough in my own skin that I just don’t think I need another person to complete me and wouldn’t yearn to go through the hassle of sorting through duds to find another good one.

      1. I feel similarly. I also really enjoy independence and living alone, so my husband had a very high bar to clear to get me to want to marry him. I don’t think there are many available men out there who could come close.

      2. Men usually remarry. I joke that I want the neighbors to bring suitable second-wife candidates to my funeral, but honestly, my husband would be miserable on his own. He’s an extrovert who genuinely likes being around people and draws energy from social interaction, I’m an introvert who needs some social contact but is generally OK on my own.

         I doubt I would remarry if I became widowed or suddenly single.

      3. Yep, same. Part of it is also that I married later in life so I was already used to doing everything on my own. But in general I am an extremely independent person who also needs a lot of alone time.

   7. Why is this coming up for you? Is it brought up by your friend’s loss? I ask because this seems like borrowing trouble in a way that’s really about something else. I don’t always agree with the knee-jerk go to therapy response on this site, but this does seems like something to unpack with a neutral professional.

      1. +1 At the every least, this sounds like something you wrote after you started thinking all this, and got deflated, and then got really down on yourself and your marriage, and then posted here.

         I would encourage putting the brakes on that spiral, to the extent that you’re able, before you get so far into it that you ruin your day (or weekend). Shelve it all for this weekend, and then when you’re not in a spiraly place, look at it again with fresh eyes. You may have more perspective and realize what was contributing to what you wrote here on a Friday afternoon, and that it’s really not the issue that you thought it was. Or you might realize it IS an issue, you DO need to talk it over, and you DO need a person who isn’t your husband to process it with.

   8. OP here, these responses are helpful, thanks for talking me out of a spiral. There’s a lot of stressful things happening in my life right now, and I think it’s all compounding a bit with supporting my friend and also being apart from DH due to travel.

      1. I don’t think you’re clingy or cray, you just probably need to hear words of affection more from your husband. Sounds like you have a good relationship so I’d just tell him that and ask for what you need.

   9. There’s a reason people say the best (hetero) relationships for women are where he lived her more than she loves him.

      I’ve been in both types and am currently in the one where he would be devastated without me and I…wouldn’t, frankly. and I gotta say, this is the way. I’ll never love a man more than he lives me again, my lesson was learned.

3. I posted this late on the sub-thread from earlier today about whether someone is your SIL or just your BIL’s wife, reposting in case some might find it interesting.

   I once had to arbitrate an issue of whether an employee’s spouse’s brother’s wife is their SIL or not, for purposes of bereavement leave under a collective bargaining agreement. The employer argued that the person was only the BIL’s wife and not a SIL. The arbitrator agreed with my client, the union, that dictionary definitions and common parlance indicate that this person IS a SIL.

   1. the employer is a lousy employer. give me a break.

   2. Not gonna lie, I had to swap in my actual relationships to understand this question, but when I figured out who it would be in my own life, 100% this is my SIL!

      And 100% you should get bereavement leave for such a person! I guess if there’s different leave lengths for immediate family vs. extended family, that makes sense to go down this rabbit hole. Otherwise it just feels like petty nickel and diming by the employer.

      1. i once posted about how i decided to quit a job when i said that i had said i was leaving at 2 for a funeral and my boss reminded me that if the funeral was for my husband my parents or my kids they wouldn’t need to dock me the time. this is so petty and i can’t phathom the human who would make this argument.

   3. This was a social service agency, a county MRDD board, that made up this rule (to interpret contract language that included BILs and SILs in the definition of family for which bereavement leave was paid) – but yes, the head of HR was objectively a terrible peson.

   4. I had a boss once who tried to refuse me two bereavement leave days so I could travel to a grandparent’s funeral on the other side of the country, then take the next day to help my parent pack up everything from the house to move it back to our home state. My boss claimed that only the death of a spouse, child, or parent would get me two days and “no one was worth more than that.” Our formal work policy stated we got up to a week if out of state travel was involved for a family member’s funeral, and that the exact time was at the discretion of the department head. I went above my boss, got a full week, and they explicitly changed the policy to list all the various immediate family members you could think of (including grandparents, siblings, aunts & uncles, neices and nephews, step- and adopted family, etc.).

   5. Imagine telling your child “I can’t make it to your Aunt Jane’s funeral because she isn’t really my family member.”

   6. Wow, this is petty enough to be ‘bad boss of the year’ on Ask A Manager. My current company gave me 5 days off when my godfather/uncle passed, no questions asked.
      At my first company (a Big 4 no less), I got 3 days off for my grandmother’s funeral and had to provide the funeral notice/mass card to HR to get the days approved as PTO. Plus my awful boss called me every.single.day. HR did have a word with her once I got back because it was so egregiously offensive and weird (I was 23! I was not important enough for her to need to talk to me daily!).

   7. I didn’t follow the thread earlier but I’ve been denied bereavement leave three times now – twice for uncles and once for a dear family friend who was closer than most family. All I wanted was ONE day each for the funeral, once each in 2016, 2024, and 2025. Ridiculous and definitely made me less loyal.

4. Interesting article in the San Francisco Chronicle about how nearly 40% of students are officially registered as disabled, much higher than similarly competitive top schools. Link to follow.

   1. *Students at Stanford.

      https://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/article/stanford-disabled-disability-student-21361362.php

   2. Have you heard about the concept of twice exceptional? It’s very common for people to have a disability and be really smart. I have the fun combo of Autism and an IQ of 143 (yes yes I know IQ tests are flawed, blah blah blah). So I am both a social potato who cries when my pants are scratchy and one of the most respected people in my field of study.

   3. Just as context in case the article doesn’t mention it, Stanford does have a historic connection to the gifted and 2e communities that not all similarly competitive top schools have ever had.

      1. 2e?

         1. It’s the new buzzword for parents who don’t think having a kid who is once exceptional is enough. Exceptionality creep.

            1. I have a 2/e kid. I don’t really like the term, but it is a way to acknowledge that a child can be gifted and have learning challenges at the same time. Parents of gifted kids with ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, etc. frequently have their concerns dismissed because educators don’t understand that it’s possible for a highly intelligent child to have learning challenges, or for a child with learning challenges to be intelligent.

               I have very little patience for parents who claim that their high-functioning gifted children are “on the spectrum.” Gifted kids are quirky. That’s part of the territory.

            2. 🙄

            3. It doesn’t mean they’re super special. The other “exceptional” is literally a disability.

            4. It’s a meaningless buzzword that flows out of a creep of how many kids are considered neurodivergent and how many kids are considered gifted.

            5. No, it’s from the world of accommodations because it means a child needs accommodations for “deficits” as well as for “gifts.” It’s not a new or trendy buzzword (it’s been around since before I was born, and I am not young!).

               It’s also very hard to accommodate compared to having high achievement programs for smart, ambitious students with no special needs.

            6. It is absolutely a trendy buzzword right now. So many women here claiming their kids are 2e instead of just smart but scattered or whatever. Kids now all have to be gifted, not smart, and neurodivergent, not disorganized. Exceptionality creep.

   4. I’m an alumna, and I wonder if some of it is that you have to register with the disability office for accommodations that may not be as necessary/available elsewhere.

      The campus is both enormous and designed to make driving impractical to impossible. So, if you sprain your ankle and can’t bike, then you have to register for the golf cart service to take you to class.

      Everyone lives on campus and the dorms don’t typically have air conditioning, nor is one typically permitted to bring one’s own air conditioning unit. If you have any kind of respiratory condition, you might need to register to have the possibility of air conditioning (because sometimes it’s hot and the air is bad from wild fires!). Or, if you have any condition that is made worse by heat, you’d need to register to have the possibility of air conditioning.

      There is a specific dining hall that caters to certain food allergies. If you have food allergies and want to make sure you live near that one and not a 10 minute bike ride away, you also need to register.

      1. It’s all in the article!

      2. I lived in college dorms in CA without A/C and it was absolutely brutal. I cannot believe colleges are still requiring students to live in such conditions in this day and age, especially with all the wildfires. It’s inexcusable with the amount of money they have, especially the ritzy private schools. I guess they can get away with it because kids will put up with just about anything to go to Stanford.

         1. Agreed. Someone will surely post soon and say “it’s a dry heat!” Or “it cools off at night!” but that doesn’t matter. We regularly break 100 here now and it doesn’t cool off that much at night – plus people still need to use their dorms during the day. AC should be considered a basic amenity like windows and doors.

            1. I wonder if meds that cause heat intolerance qualify for AC as an accommodation (a lot of meds reduce heat tolerance, including commonly prescribed meds like antidepressants).

         2. It was admittedly 20ish years ago, but when I went to Duke, we did not have air conditioning in the majority of dorms. In North Carolina. In August. I thought my poor northern roommate was going to die of a heat stroke. A lot of kids had “allergies” with doctor’s notes to get window units; the dorms have all since been renovated and now have A/C.

   5. There was an article about this in the Atlantic in December. Students are claiming disabilities and requesting religious accommodations in order to get better housing and better food. The university is creating a system of bad incentives by making accommodations for disabilities and religious needs more attractive than standard housing and dining options. Give everyone the same quality of housing and food–install A/C in all dorms (should be standard in fire country anyway), serve the kosher and halal food to anyone who requests it, make the regular food just as good as the special food, don’t give kids with special diets vouchers for the Whole Foods hot bar, etc.

      1. As someone with a kid who’s about to go to college, I agree. At my college, it was pretty standard to get a single room after your sophomore year, anyone could eat at the dining hall that served kosher food, exams were self-scheduled (with some exceptions) so you could take them in the order you wanted to take them, etc. I don’t doubt accommodations are necessary for some students, but you can create bad incentives in a system (especially if the administrators aren’t super-great leaders).

         1. My kid is at a fancy private college where sophomores are squeezed into triples and quads that were designed to be doubles, and there are no singles except for ADA rooms. She had more than one adult at the college try to convince her to apply for a disability accommodation for insomnia to get a single room. But doesn’t just about every college student have insomnia? She didn’t apply and probably wouldn’t have been approved anyway. It felt icky but I could understand why someone would try to game the system to get out of living in a shoebox with three other kids.

            1. No, most college students don’t have insomnia (what a strange assumption!). Questionable sleep habits are really not the same thing.

            2. How does any college student sleep with a roommate or two turning on the light and snoring, with no A/C , with stifling centrally controlled heat in winter, and with the pressure of having to be up for 8 a.m. classes? I barely slept for four years and would be surprised if anyone else did.

            3. 8:12, you should have gotten accommodations too as well as a diagnosis and medical care. Barely sleeping is a really big deal. I slept okay nearly every night in college despite roommates and temps and classes and an untreated medical condition that makes it harder to sleep.

            4. If you can’t handle “the pressure of having to be up for 8 am classes,” your parents failed to equip you to leave childhood, but now you get four years to figure it out before you start working. That’s not a medical issue and it doesn’t need accommodations. You just have to learn to act like an adult.

            5. The person who struggled with 8 am classes said they had insomnia, but was talking as if it were normal. But most of us were able to sleep in college, and insomnia is a medical issue that shouldn’t be normalized or assumed to be nearly universal. The health effects of letting it go can really add up over time.

               However, there are medical issues that affect people’s circadian rhythms and schedules, and there are people whose health will be damaged by too early a schedule, just the way your health would presumably be damaged by taking a night shift or another schedule that would be hard on you (night shifts can be hard enough on people wired for earlier schedules that it’s advised to get medical support to mitigate the effects). It has nothing to do with whether someone is an adult or not.

            6. Sure, if you legitimately have narcolepsy, go on with your bad self. The vast majority of people do not, and insomnia can have medical causes or — far more often than— lifestyle causes. Adults get their medical issues treated and sort out their lifestyle issues. Or they don’t sign up for 8 am classes!

      2. That’s wild about the kosher and halal food. It was available to everyone at my college.

   6. I think that these are also kind of rage-bait. I have a kid who is obviously autistic but is also bright and has earned the right to try college. IDK how it will go and I feel that there is still a lot of prejudice against autistic people, especially in a first job interview situation.

   7. Of course. Everyone knows that’s how you get a single room and more time to take tests now.

5. another related question to this morning’s thread – does anyone have a stone drying mat? is Dorai worth the money? TIA!

   1. We got one to put under our dogs water bowl (which I recognize is a little extra). But it dried so well and was the only solution we found for spills that were ruining the hardwood when we tried other mats.

   2. Late response, but I have one as a dish drying mat and love it. It absorbs water really well and looks nice on my counter. I don’t think I’d buy full price but got a good Black Friday deal.

6. I’m getting a ton of ads from Cyrus NYC in instagram, and the clothes look cute! Does anyone have personal experience with this brand?

7. I unexpectedly am driving two kids (not mine) 4 hours on Sat and 4 hours on Mon. Any child-friendly podcast ideas? I hate kids music, they can only read so much, and I would like to have some quiet time. Nothing about trauma, medical issues, or death. Kids are 3rd and 5th grade. I don’t even know where to start but suggested I try it. The kids know me but not super well.

   1. the judge John hodgman podcast is not for kids specifically but family friendly. Episode 734 is actually about a kid’s birthday party, and ep 744 is also very kid suitable (if you can stand a bit of potty humor). I’m a bit behind on recent episodes but I listened to those somewhat recently.

   2. We went on looooong family road trips at that age. Given your drive is today, deck of cards for the kids to play games with (War is easy with limited space) would be my suggestion. We had a bag of “car trip” games like mini versions of Guess Who and Battleship but obviously not practical on a few hours’ notice.

      My brain gets tired of paying attention to podcasts quickly (as opposed to books, listening to music, or movies, where I can easily go hours at a time) so in case the kids do too, better to have a backup!

      1. We used to do books on tape (audiobooks now?). Pat McManus was a favorite of ours . Short stories, family friendly, about life and the outdoors, but comedy. If he’s not still around, maybe the kid friendly Carl Hiassen audiobooks?

   3. How about Six Minutes or Timestorm?

   4. Roald Dahl or Cronicals of Narnia were a hit with my kids at that age.

   5. 3rd and 5th grade is oldish for “kids music” specifically — honestly I’d just play music you like, unless the lyrics are inappropriate – or ask them to tell you who’s cool/intro you to a new artist, play the songs that were popular when their parents were their age, etc.

      Audiobook is also a great idea

8. I’m going to be having a gastroscopy and endoscopy on Friday, for the first time. The procedure will be done under sedation and I’m not too worried about it. I’m more concerned with the preparation and not being able to eat for 32 hours beforehand. Does anyone have any advice they can offer please? I understand that I can have clear liquids. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

   1. Clear liquids does not mean liquids with no calories – Coke sustains me for this kind of thing. You might ask if broth is ok, I forget if it’s yes or no.

9. Conference etiquette question. When you are seated at a conference eating breakfast etc. and someone comes to say hello, do you always stand up to have the conversation or do you stay seated at the table? Are there certain situations to stand up vs stay seated? I feel like a quick passing hello, I’m not standing up, but sometimes I don’t realize they plan to stay for a longer and then am I standing up in the middle of the conversation?

   1. Oh I know exactly what you are talking about. Especially if the person who approached you is standing in a way that you can’t easily scoot your chair out and stand, lol. I try to stand up if I think it will be more than a brief hello but it doesn’t always work in practice! When it’s one of those ‘oh this is going to last longer than I thought’ moments, after you chat for a minute, invite them to grab a chair, or their own food / coffee and join you?

      1. This–if it’s just a greeting while they are passing by, standing is not necessary. For anything more, stand. If a real conversation ensues, invite them to sit if there is room.

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