Wednesday’s TPS Report: Isabell Print Skirt
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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Sales of note for 3/26/25:
- Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
- J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
- J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
- M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- I'm fairly senior in BigLaw – where should I be shopping?
- how best to ask my husband to help me buy a new car?
- should we move away from DC?
- quick weeknight recipes that don’t require meal prep
- how to become a morning person
- whether to attend a distant destination wedding
- sending a care package to a friend who was laid off
- at what point in your career can you buy nice things?
- what are you learning as an adult?
- how to slog through one more year in the city (before suburbs)
I’m new to working in a business dress office and am also facing the first real winter of my legal career. I have mostly skirt suits and dresses because I used to live in a warm climate. Is it ok to wear black tights with suits in winter or does that take the outfits down into more business casual territory? What about navy & brown outfits? Are navy or brown tights ok or do I need to stick to black and gray as my neutrals during tights-season?
Also, at what temperature do you break out the tights? Do you base it off the day’s low or high? It was in the mid-40s when I left my house this morning and I was freezing in bare legs, but the high is supposed to be near 70 so I felt silly putting on tights.
1. Black tights make a suit slightly less formal, but are perfectly fine in winter with either black or gray suits.
2. For navy outfits, I either wear sheer hose, sheer navy hose (not opaque – too matchy) or gray tights.
3. For brown outfits, I wear sheer hose, as finding complementary brown tights is tricky. And therefore I have one brown winter skirt.
4. September feels too early for tights to me, but I’m mid-Atlantic and not NE. I save the tights for when I need a coat at lunch – usually mid to late October.
Black tights are completely fine. Navy and brown too. (Although brown is traditionally just a less formal color all round, so I wouldn’t wear it to court)
You will look silly in them when the high is 70 though. For this time of year I wear sheer hose, because they keep me more comfortable. I generall bring out the tights when the high is less than 60.
+1 to the 60-degree-high rule. That is what I usually follow!!!
In the business formal offices I’ve worked in and visited, black/gray/navy tights are common. I’ve never seen anyone wear brown tights in any office I’ve worked in, but I can’t imagine that there would be a prohibition on brown tights if other neutrals are fine. In some business formal offices, only nude hose are allowed, but you would probably know if you worked in an office like that because the strict dress code would have been communicated to you.
I go straight from bare legs to tights because I do not do hose at all.
It does make for a few chilly moments on the morning commute some days, however tights would look out of place until, as a previous commenter noted, it gets cold enough to wear a coat at lunch. That is a good benchmark.
Sometimes I will wear knee high boots on the way in to work, and change out of them once I get to to the office. That means you have to stuff the boots in a bag to take home when leaving work though.
Tights do limit what you can wear, sadly.
I wear black tights and shoes with darker dresses and skirt suits, or most dresses that I would wear a black blazer over, if that makes sense. Black tights, in my opinion, look better with a suede shoe. Something about opague black tights and a “shinier” black shoe looks odd to me. I have noted Kat suggesting strappier black shoes with tights but I have not really tried that.
With navy and taupe I tend to wear gray tights with gray shoe booties (not quite a shoe, not quite a bootie). It’s trickier to get the shades and shoe style right, but it is do-able.
In my business formal office, it is also perfectly acceptable to wear black knee high flat or heeled boots with black tights and a skirt suit or dress. The boots should be clearly dressy boots, NOT the ones you battled your way in the snow, salt and slush in. It may not be the most formal of formal but here (where it is very cold in the winter), it is acceptable.
I live in a winter city in Canada, but I break out the tights as soon as the high is mid 50s Farenheit (about 15 degrees Celsius) or October 1, whichever comes first. One thing that helps make tights look professional with a suite is making sure they aren’t too shiny and are in impeccable condition. The minute they look a bit pilled, or patchy in any way, they are no longer for work.
So you are wearing tights today? :)
I did not, and am about the head out for lunch.
I’m in ankle length pants with no socks which is OK, but have my pashmina wrapped around myself in my office.
It was cold, I went outside to a food truck for lunch, brrrrr!! Definitely the nippiest day so far. Met my sister and she wisely had her coat on so it’s officially tights weather :)
It is warm enough in my office, despite all my glass walls, but it takes this building time to warm and cool. I suspect it will be cold tomorrow and Friday.
Remembered tights. Failed to bring a coat to go over my blazer however. It might have been the confusion since yesterday felt like a muggy summer day.
I’m trying to decide whether it’s worth signing up for Haute Look (I know it’s free, but my personal information is worth something to me). I understand that it’s a flash sales site, but wonder what kind of brands they feature. Other key considerations are whether they ship internationally and how long shipping takes.
Sign up with fake information if it bothers you that much. ;)
As far as the flash sale part of it, it’s fairly “meh” these days. In their infancy, HauteLook, Gilt and RueLaLa were awesome – prices were really cheap and the inventory really quality, though limited in size. Now, none of them are that great in my opinion. A lot of inventory is stuff you can’t find elsewhere, but not as in rare, more as in it’s designed specifically for those sites. The prices aren’t that great either – I’ve generally done better stalking sales on the more traditional sites or stores. That said, to shop Nordstrom Rack, I think you have to be a HauteLook member now. And that to me is worth it.
No input on Haute Look, but I understand the hestitation to sign up for those kinds of things. I can’t stand them emailing me all the time. Even signing up with fake information doesn’t work if you need to use your real email… Sigh. Solidarity!
Sign up with a fake email. ;)
Just use a junk mail account – I send all shopping related email that way.
What the h*ck would you wear to a work party (all women) at the Ritz in Palm Springs when the dress code is desert chic?
This.
http://www.kiyonna.com/plus-size-clothing/Dresses/12132208
(Kidding) http://static.iltalehti.fi/muoti/sinkku_2905MN_mu.jpg
I laughed, Wildkitten.
But I actually want Miranda’s dress for NYC summers…. :)
+1000
This made me ridiculously cheerful in the middle of a long crappy day. thanks.
Next weekend, by the way. A plus if it’s available at Nordstrom.
Tailored maxi dress? DvF does floor length wraps, if those are in your budget. I always wished I could have a glamorous patio to swan about in one of them…
I guess anything featured in S*x and the City 2?
Flowy silk dress, metallic sandals w/heels. Something like this? http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/sleeveless-maxi-shirt-dress/4126103?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=1764
+1 beautiful.
I’m heading to Tel Aviv for business. Are dresses or skirts appropriate business attire for women there? What about shorts for touristy outings? Thanks for your help.
Tel Aviv is fairly westernized, so in the city during work meetings and such dresses and skirts that come to the knee will be fine.
If you’re doing touristy outings, such as visiting the local neighborhoods or religious sites outside Tel Aviv, shorts are NOT appropriate. If you enter a conservative Arab or Orthodox Jewish site without proper covering (or a male escort in some areas), you risk real danger.
As a tourist, shorts are fine for walking around but you’ll need a skirt that covers the knees or pants for entering the holy sites.
By shorts, do you mean Bermuda-length ones or is the stink-eye for shorts really just for ones that barely cover your underwear (I can’t swing those, but regularly wear shorts that just bare my knees down and think that they are perfectly modest, but then again, I am from the US).
For religious sites, no shorts at all of any kind.
Bermuda shorts will not fly in many holy sites (of a variety of faiths), although they are otherwise a modest option. Throw a wrap skirt in your bag just in case if you really want to wear shorts.
Also, shorts immediately mark you as a tourist in cultures where women do not wear shorts, so that is a danger in and of itself. Wear skirts or flowy pants!
other body parts that may need to be covered in some of the more religious areas—of various religions—can include neck, decolletage, upper chest and shoulders.
Yay, I love this skirt, and DVF, but it is not cheap!
As for the OP, You will also need to remember to keep your top covered and watch out for sleev less top’s b/c some religous peeople consider this to be to revealing, exept privately to your spouse, if you are MARRIED. When I went touring, I had to get a shawl to cover over my top, which was both sleevless and MODERATELY low cut (PS – depending on the season, it can be chilly in the winter, so you will be fine with a sweater). You should have fun-of course you can go to the beach and wear the same batheing suits we have here. Finaly you should know that Bar Rafaeli is a native, and she used to date Leonardo DeCaprio. YAY!!!!
I traveled to a different city in Israel for work. I work in a tech company with casual dress code. Women there were dressing more casual than women in US office. I have seen women wearing very short skirts (well above the knee), patterned tights and a t-shirt etc to work. You cannot go wrong wearing whatever you wear to work in the US.
As a tourist, same as what the above posters said.
Yes – Tel Aviv is very secular and is kind of like a more casual Miami. Pretty much anything goes and everyone wears shorts of all varieties, at least in the summer, as it can be like 100+ with 90% humidity. It’s not like Europe where shorts can get you weird looks. Honestly, you can see some pretty questionable outfits, so I wouldn’t worry about yours. If you are going to a religious site or neighborhood, then cover your knees and upper arms – cap or too-short sleeves may get you denied entry to a church or temple. If you’re at the beach or out in the center of town, it doesn’t matter – the modesty thing is mostly for the religious. The U.S. is probably a bit more formal and stylish in comparison. If you’re working with anyone in tech, there will be all jeans and t-shirts at the office. I’ve seen exposed bras, manpris, miniskirts, leggings, etc in business environments. Israelis tend to be very friendly and the food is wonderful.
I’m looking for some nice necklaces to wear with sheath dresses for work, ideally less than $50. What kind of necklaces are in right now? I feel like those big chunky statement necklaces are out, but very small and delicate things seem to get lost.
Ooh! Excited for some responses to this one..
I am loving the long single layer tassel necklaces. But since I’m into them now, that can only mean they are likely on their way out…
Get thee to bauble bar. Affordable and on-trend. Pick your fancy!
I have a couple of nice necklaces from Elle. Not chunky, but not super delicate (which seems to be very on trend right now and I do wear outside of work, or layered under an open, collared shirt) as I agree they don’t look right with a sheath dress for example.
The one I am weaing today is an open twisted oval. The chain is very delicate but the pendant is noticeable (about 1.5 inches wide by 2 inches long, maybe 1/4 inch thick) without being “chunky”.
Capitol Hill Style answered a similar question a few months ago and I like her picks:
http://www.caphillstyle.com/capitol/2015/06/22/ask-belle-six-chic-necklaces-under-50.html
For wearing with sheaths, I like necklaces made by Kate Spade and Tory Burch. These things go on sale all the time so I never pay full price.
I like charming charlie for trendy pieces that literally just last you one season.. they’re cheap so nbd if you lose a piece. They recently featured some layered delicate pieces which I liked. To store the delicate ones, you can pin them up on a corkboard or hang them over the neck of your hangers (even with shirts you think they go with)… that’s what I would do with the long ones.
I have a $300 budget for a new pair of jeans (thanks to a deal at my gym for signing up for a year last fall), but it can only be one pair. I’ve never spent close to that on a single pair of jeans, so I don’t know what brands in that price range are good. I’m not really looking for recommendations for a particular pair, just what brands I should be looking at. What are your favorites?
FWIW, I want a very tailored look that I can wear to work on casual Fridays so I know I’ll be looking for dark wash, not skinny, and probably straight/slight boot cut in whatever brand.
IME, the best thing to do is to go to an actual store – either a jeans boutique or a big store like a Nordstrom – and try on like 20 pairs. I had to do that before I found my “nicest” jeans – AG, Paige, etc. didn’t work well and I found that the ones I liked best were J Brand, about $200.
My thought is to find a pair at Nordstrom, get them with the gym deal and then return them and get a few lower priced pairs from Nordstrom. Because I can’t imagine spending $300 on jeans either.
Does it have to be from a specific place? They aren’t available at Nordstrom (I don’t think) but Imogene & Willie jeans, which are made in Nashville, run about $250 not on sale and they rock my world. They are the perfect straight leg that look fine with flats or heels, but can fit tucked in some boots.
I love AG jeans. I think the most expensive pairs get up to $235, but it’s still nothing to sneeze at, especially with tax.
TJ – What percentage of your income do you spend on your mortgage/rent? And what type of area do you live in – HCOL, LCOL, etc?
My husband and I are considering buying…but to do so and stay in our current very HCOL our mortgage will end up being higher than our rent. Struggling with that a bit and would really like to get an understanding of what is the norm for others here.
Thank you!
P.S. If you’re willing to participate here – maybe I should have clarified I mean take home pay – so your pay after taxes, 401Ks, etc. Thanks again!
I like keeping walking out the door at my job as an option.
When I lived in a HCOL area, housing purchase was 2x annual salary and was 1/6 of my monthly take home (but was a fixer and I paid for any fixed with cash, to the tune of about 10-20K/year for the first two years, a reason not to overbuy on price when there may be extra expenses).
Now I am in LCOL area. housing purchase was 3x annual salary. I couldn’t afford it even with roommates / boarders even if I quit my job, which makes me feel a bit trapped. I miss the flexibility of renting but even in a LCOL area, I bought b/c prices still go up and I wanted to fix that cost (at least the fixed cost, never mind the other expenses of owning).
LCOL, 25% of take home spent on mortgage (includes property taxes and insurance). Don’t forget to budget for home maintenance/upkeep as well.
Our combined take home pay is about $10K a month, $120K a year. Right now we are paying around $4K a month on the mortgage, but our minimum payment is only about $1300 a month ($200K loan, 15 year fixed rate). We don’t have kids yet and expect to in a couple years and we know there will be a lot of expenses involved with that, so we’re trying to throw money at the mortgage while we can, while also building up our savings. LCOL area, single family home.
This doesn’t include insurance or property taxes.
We pay more for our mortgage than we did in rent (mortgage is currently something like 10-15% of gross HH income per month, but it was more like 30% when we bought our condo a couple years ago). However, we are building equity and have more than double the amount of space we had when renting, plus more amenities (e.g., dishwasher, garage parking, in-unit laundry). I am one of those people who feels like I am throwing money away while paying rent, but a mortgage/house is a forced savings plan, an appreciating investment, and a tax benefit – our taxes would be much higher if we didn’t have the interest and property tax deductions. For you, your monthly payment might be higher but it might be a wash at the end of the year when you take taxes into account.
I’d say my general area is HCOL (NE state with prices that keep increasing). My specific neighborhood is on the lower end for the area, but definitely a HCOL area compared to, say, most areas in the Midwest. I rented in a more expensive neighborhood previously, and our mortgage in this neighborhood is definitely lower monthly than the market rate for a comparable rental nearby (or even a lower quality rental).
HCOL – just me – approx 26% but that proportion just went down because I got a raise a few months ago. It used to be about 31%.
We currently spend about 22% of our take-home on the mortgage (including taxes and insurance) with another fund set aside for maintenance. We’re looking at a new house that would be about 40% of take-home, which is a big jump. It would be an adjustment to our savings rate but we wouldn’t need to adjust our reasonably frugal lifestyle.
There are two things to keep in mind when considering a home purchase. One is that you can deduct a lot of the payments, especially in early years when you are primarily paying interest. The other is that you are locking in your payment amount for as long as you are in the home (barring huge increases in taxes). When we bought our place 10 years ago (DC area), it was almost twice what our rent was. Fast forward and rents have increased so much that if we were to rent something similar it would be more expensive than our house payment.
That’s a high percentage of your take home. May I ask why the big jump, especially for someone who describes themselves as frugal?
I am a perennial renter, not a buyer, so I am curious how people make these decisions…
A few reasons. One is that we expect our incomes to continue increasing, so what’s 40% now will likely be 30%in just a few years. [Another factor is that we have a strong emergency fund saved, and the monthly cost is 40% of take-home after maxing retirement, so if there was some sort of financial emergency, we could reduce retirement contributions for a while to ease cash flow.]
We’re feeling squeezed in our current space, with one kid and plans for a second. Money’s cheap right now, and it makes sense to buy for us. We are homebodies – we don’t travel much or have any other debt. Our home is where we want to spend most of our time and money.
I could have written this. We pay about 26% of our take home pay right now. But with a second on the way, we are looking for larger than our 1100 sq.ft. townhome. We are looking at spending 48% of our take home pay now. It scares me a lot, but we are currently maxing out retirement, have a lot in savings, and my husband works part-time. So, I figure that we can change one/all of these things if money gets tight?
has anyone done this? am i crazy?
Can you make all your bill payments if one of you lost their job? Or at least get by with on the emergency fund making up the slack for a year or so, while still keeping both kids in daycare so the out-of-work parent could look for a job? Or would you be willing to drop daycare and have one of you be a SAHP?
What scares me is that mortage would be 48%, and daycare would be what, another 30%?
We are in a LCOL area and currently only pay about 20-25% of our income to our mortgage payment (including insurance and taxes). However, it’s a older house/slightly fixer upper, so we put another 5-10% of our take home pay into the “something else is going to break soon” savings account.
We pay almost as much for daycare as for our mortgage, and when we had 2 in daycare the daycare payment was significantly more than the mortgage payment.
When buying our house, we wanted to make sure that we could still make the mortgage payment plus daycare, utilities, car payment, food, etc on only one income (dropping all retirement contributions, etc, to zero) if one of us lost a job or couldn’t work for some reason. It would have been cutting it pretty close with 2 in daycare (we probably would have had to drop down to part time and rely on my parents to help make up the difference) but it could have been done.
For me personally, 48% of take home for a mortgage is asking to be one disaster away from foreclosure, unless you could immediately stop retirement contributions and bring that % way way down. But I also live in an area where real estate hasn’t entirely rebounded from the crash, so it would also potentially mean a house that couldn’t be re-sold quickly (or at all, there are houses that have been on the market for years in my town) in the case of a true life changing emergency.
I would also add – 48% of take home on a 30 year mortgage is also a different boat than 48% on a 15 year mortgage. We also opted for a 30 year mortgage, so that’s where the 20% of take home is factored from – but we are paying almost the 15 year $ amount most months, knowing that we could drop back to the lower official amount on our bill if there was an emergency.
I’m in the 40% boat too (take home). Same sort of calculation – good income trajectories, wanted more space. Also, renting was going to be at least 30%, so made sense to buy.
Close to 40% of take-home (after maxing out retirement) for PITI, here, too. That’s before taxes. After taxes it’s quite a bit less. I’m in a HCOL area and after my divorce I had to stretch to get what I wanted. I have no other debt and a good emergency fund so I’m okay with it even though it does make me twitch to type that number.
I recently left my job to start grad school in a HCOL area. When I was working, our mortgage was about 22% of our take home pay. Now it is about 45%.
We have an emergency fund and my husband’s job is secure, so we are willing to take the risk.
We struggled a little bit with what we wanted to pay, as our mortgage with escrow accounts is more than 2x what our rent was, but we also moved from an apartment to a large house. We made a choice to reach a little now on our housing purchase, knowing that it was in a very desirable neighborhood at a very desirable size and price point, making reselling an option should we choose to do so.
In the couple of years since we’ve purchased the house, our incomes have gone up while our housing costs have stayed stable.
For perspective- Moderate COL area, $150k-ish household gross income, $100k take home, purchased a house for $350k-ish with monthly payments (with escrow) of around $2100/month. I should also add that our only debt is this and a few subsidized student loans ($25k or so) that right now make more sense from a tax perspective to keep slowly paying on.
LCOL – mortgage is 26% of my monthly take home pay and also includes insurance and taxes.
For additional perspective, when I bought my house, the closing price was approx $15k more than my annual salary. Now, that price would be twice my annual salary.
HCOL, 22% in rent.
HCOL (Boston, inner burbs). 27% of take-home salaries, including taxes. I am very bonus heavy though, so when you factor in take-home bonus it’s closer to 12%.
Our mortgage (incl. insurance and taxes) is approximately 20% of our take-home pay, and we live in a large city. We are paying 35% more for our house than we did for the apartment we rented, but we have double the space, a yard, and we are building equity in our home. Although our house was brand new, we have spent a fair amount of money painting, decorating, buying new furniture, etc. It has been worth every penny. We have no children (but I have a huge student loan payment every month).
We live in a low cost of living state and our mortgage including taxes and insurance is about 28% of our take home pay.
LCOL and our mortgage is 17% of our monthly take home pay, including taxes and insurance. When we were renting (on the high end for our area), we were paying $1300 a month vs. the $1500 we pay for our mortgage now.
We live in a LCOL. After tax $ is around 115k and our house cost ~$140k. It’s much more modest than what the bank thinks we can afford and its not in a trendy neighborhood with mcmansions and cul-de-sacs, but it’s in a nice quiet older neighborhood. and we really value the flexibility that our tiny mortgage payment gives us. We also could comfortably afford our mortgage on one salary, and actually bought the house when we were making half as much as we are now. At this point, we’re hoping to have the balance paid off by the time our kid starts private school in a few years.
My take home pay is about $5k a month. My mortgage is about 33% of my take home pay, not including my HOA fees. With the HOA fees, I’m at about 40%. I’m in a HCOL area. This seems insanely high, but to live alone in a nice apartment in a nice area, I was paying a WHOLE lot more than this and it just got cost prohibitive. I decided to buy so I’d know for sure what my housing costs were going to be every month for the forseeable future. I couldn’t handle the constant, yearly increases in rent.
Similar situation here. I’m in DC. Take home pay is about $5500/mo. Mortgage plus HOA is 43% of my take home. I’m fine with it. I max out my 401k and get employer contributions, so I’m saving money. And my place is in a great location.
You should also consider mortgage interest tax deductions. If I factored that in, the percentage I’m spending on housing is lower.
We pay two rent payments because we are currently living in two different cities (because of jobs – it is a 1 year, max 2 year deal). The combined rents are 25% of the combined take-home salaries (with taxes, 401K, etc out). A significant percentage of my compensation is bonus, which doesn’t factor into the above calculation.
One HCOL city and one MCOL city.
Forgot to add that prior to the 2 city relocation, we were paying 17% in the MCOL city.
LCOL – 25% goes to rent.
In previous HCOL a year ago it was closer to 30-35%
I pay 35% of my take home pay for my mortgage (including insurance and taxes).
I live in MCOL midwestern city. The median household income is 75K in area. The median home price is 240K (with the average price closer to 350K). So even here in the cheap midwest it’s not uncommon for people to have a mortgage that is almost 50% of their take-home pay.
HCOL area. Our take home monthly pay is about $7600. We rent and have an ABSURD deal for the area and we pay about 20%. Our prior rental was almost 30%.
We live in HCOL and pay 34% of take-home pay to our mortgage, including taxes and insurance. I’m currently maxing retirement, so the take-home pay accounts for a significant chunk to retirement. It also doesn’t factor in any bonus money.
My husband just finished grad school, so currently I’m the only one employed (we both had jobs when we bought the house). Once he gets a job we will be putting 25% or less of take-home pay to the mortgage. Our interest rate is 3.25%, so we aren’t making any extra payments. We bought at the bottom of the market in one of the hottest neighborhoods in our city, and our house has already increased in value (per Zillow, FWIW) over 30% in 3 years. It could be another housing bubble, though, so who knows.
HCOL (near the beach in Los Angeles). Rent (including utilities) is 30% of take home pay.
LCOL. Mortgage + taxes + insurance is 14% of household take-home pay, which around what rent would be on a 3-bedroom apartment in our area. Maintenance has averaged another 5-10% of take-home just to keep the place from totally falling apart, and it’s only 20 years old. Now we are looking at much more than that over the next couple of years to replace the roof and windows and renovate the kitchen and bathrooms. Sometimes I wish we had just kept renting.
HCOL, 20% for mortgage + insurance + taxes, not maintenance. I think it’s low for this area (we max our retirement accounts), but it means we could theoretically pay off the mortgage with one income (and no daycare).
Close to 50% of what is direct deposited into my normal account, in a HCOL area. More like 40% if you include 401k deductions as income (which they are). But I live by myself in a very nice neighborhood, which is a priority to me.
After maxing out our retirement & taxes are taken out, our take home pay is about 20k/mo. We live in an extremely HCOLA, but somehow only pay $2100/mo in rent.
After finally paying off law school debt this year, we are currently saving up for a house (houses out here start at 1 mil, so we are about 2 yrs away from having a down payment), which I’m guessing will up our monthly expense on housing to about $6k/mo.
With those of you that are paying a majority of your pay on your mortgage… did you account for potential job changes in the future? For lawyers, it seems like, you start out crazy high in big-law & then it potentially just goes down from there. I’m freaked out about buying a house, then giving up on career flexibility… wondering how you guys have dealt with that.
So those are factors to consider for sure – definitely try to avoid golden hand c u f f s if you can.
I’m a big firm lawyer looking to move in-house and anticipate reducing my income significantly once I do. We are currently in a medium/high COL area (suburbs of a big city) with 20% of combined post-tax/post 401K/non bonus take home pay going to mortgage, and anticipate that will increase to approximately 26% after a change. Definitely try not to let your spending increase with your income (for housing and elsewhere) — one way we tried to avoid the trap was to put a chunk of income into investments right away that we can turn off once we do have the job change.
Good luck
I’m in biglaw now, and considered potential job changes when purchasing my house. I’m hoping to leave for government, so I created a budget based on what I could afford on a government salary. My mortgage is currently less than 20% of my income, but would go up to about 40-45% on a government salary.
Lawyer in midlaw. I bought the house with the expectation that I will be making more in the future — not less. But I’m a litigator and not expecting to go in-house. I’m expecting to make partner at my law firm. I also bought based on location. I have a solid emergency fund and plenty of retirement. If anything happened that seriously affected our finances, we could cover at least a year of mortgage payments while trying to sell the house and downsizing to something cheaper.
LCOL, our mortgage (PITI) is about 15% of my salary, my husband is self-employed so it’s hard to figure out “take home pay” for us together. When we bought the home it was 3x my salary, now it’s a little less than 2x my salary.
30% in rent in HCOL. very HCOL. It used to be less but rent is constantly increasing here..
Live in a suburb of Boston. Household income is about $300k gross pre bonus (which is sizable when it happens but not at all guaranteed). We just bought our second house and pay $3500/mo including taxes (which are insane in our town) and insurance. Our house needs about $100k that we will doing in the next 2 years so actual monthly spend on housing will be more like $4k/mo for a while.
We have 2 kids in daycare (almost 3k/mo) and some student loans to pay off, plus one car payment. We could afford to pay mire but want to build up a bigger cash cushion since we have the young ones and perhaps spend on a vacation home instead.
To the poster from yesterday who wants to start over with her wardrobe, I highly recommend the Kondo method of decluttering your clothes. I’m still working on mine but I found that approaching my clothes from a “what do I want to keep” standpoint rather than “what should I get rid of” made it a lot easier. I found that I use black as an accent color and prefer jewel tones which allowed me to donate some perfectly fine but uninspiring black clothes rather than feel like I should keep them because black is a neutral color.
I’ve also started a list of things I want to buy to fill some gaps in my wardrobe. I hope this will help me to build a more cohesive look but I haven’t shopped yet since I still have some clothes to go through so I can’t speak to how that has gone yet.
Thanks! That is what started this whole mess. I started going through my closet and after weeding out what doesn’t fit anymore I realized I have two suits, one dress and two blouses that I would actually keep. The rest is either really worn, ill-fitting, or not super work appropriate.
On the plus side, last night I was able to identify things I like and don’t like and why; hopefully that will help in my future shopping.
For the things that are worn -did you otherwise like them, but they aren’t in good shape now? Did they hold up for a moderate amount of time? Or for the ill-fitting ones, could you tailor them or would going up a size or two help, or are they just not good cuts from your body?
Depending on how old they are, you may be able to replace them on ebay or amazon. That is what I did when my favorite pants got a hole in them and I didn’t want to pay the full not-currently-on-sale replacement cost but I did really like them – I was able to look it up by designer and style, or sometimes by the item number on the tag itself. I have also had luck with getting the next size up when I acknowledged that my pre-baby favorites are too snug, or getting the same or similar thing but in a different color
$100 frivolous purchase from Macy’s ideas?
It’s a gift card an awful ex left behind, and I want to spend it on something(s) lovely and/or impractical. Ideas include lingerie, stilletos, fancy skin cream, perfume…or could do a couple of smaller items (tights, lipstick). What would you buy?
They tend to have really good sales on jewelry. Not super high-end, but you could get some a gemstone ring or some nice studs. If you wait until Columbus Day or Black Friday you could get something great.
If I didn’t want to spend more than the $100, probably a pair of shoes or a nice chemise.
I like the lingerie idea just because it is a card left from an ex, haha! But I would probably buy fancy skin cream or makeup.
Since buying something that reminds you of your ex may not be desired, spend it on something that you need but will be used up over time.
yes, exactly. I wouldn’t buy jewelry or anything lasting.
I just think it would be kind of funny and ironic in the best way to use a gift card from an ex to buy lingerie to presumably use with someone else.
I’m the opposite – I love using things given to my by a terrible ex because I know how irritated he is that he spent the money on those things for me. Suck it jerk!
y Macy’s has a MAC and Urban Decay counter-I’d go crazy there
Something that can be used and discarded like makeup. I wouldn’t want anything permanent in case it makes you think of him or maybe a gift for someone’s birthday.
Any weddings coming up you could use this to purchase a gift for?
You could always donate it to an organization he disagreed with!
Perfume!
I’d use it on jewelry, like this bracelet: http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/victoria-townsend-rose-cut-diamond-leaf-bracelet-in-silver-plated-brass-1-ct.-t.w.?ID=2120637&CategoryID=65993&LinkType=#fn=PRICE%3D90|150%26PAGEINDEX%3D3%26sp%3D3%26spc%3D1694%26slotId%3D94
Although something with an evil eye seems appropriate too: http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/sterling-silver-ring-blue-diamond-1-10-ct.-t.w.-white-diamond-accent-evil-eye-ring?ID=731116&CategoryID=21176&LinkType=#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D24%26slotId%3D11%26kws%3Devil%20eye
I had one of those a few months ago & got an awesome rose gold colored fossil watch that I always get complimented on– I’m not someone that normally would spend $100 on myself like that, so it really felt awesome.
Maybe something from the macy’s home section… fancy garbage can? I like the ones with motion sensors.. but can’t usually justify buying one when a regular garbage can does the same job. Or I also like the automatic soap dispensers for the bathroom.
Does anyone actually hand wash 100 per cent polyester blouses? I picked up three really lovely blouses from Pleione and Halogen at Nordstrom and they say hand wash (which I should have checked before buying).
For recommended hand wash items, I put them in a lingerie bag and toss them in the wash, then put them on my drying rack
I machine wash my Pleione blouses.
+1
Me too. I hang them to dry though. I think the dryer is more destructive than the washer.
Same.
I had no ideas they weren’t machine washable!
Has anyone gotten the skirt from Everlane? I noticed it on the site and it looks promising…
Can we talk about anti-wrinkle routines, especially for women in 20s and 30s?
I’m late 20s and starting to notice some fine lines, especially around my eyes and forehead. I wear moisturizer sunscreen daily (Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Reducing) that contains “accelerated retinol SA” and put Eucerin Q10 Anti-Wrinkle Sensitive Skin at night. My skin is hydrated and clear, but I wonder if I should be doing more?
Specifically, should I add an eye cream or serum to the mix, and do you have specific recs? As evidenced above, on the cheaper side of things.
Make sure you wear your sunglasses religiously!
Paula’s Choice is a pretty good resource. You have the sunscreen and exfoliant (SA) it sounds like, but the retinol may not be strong. I would probably do a retinol treatment at night (PC 1% or get a Retin-A prescription) and perhaps a vitamin C serum, but the serum won’t really prevent wrinkles. Your regular moisturizer is fine for under the eye.
Here’s a dumb question – for Retin A, do I need an appointment with a derm, or is that something my primary care physician can do?
Your primary care doc can prescribe it but a derm may prescribe it more readily.
Also note that if you are getting Retin-A prescribed for cosmetic, as opposed to medical (acne) reasons, insurance likely won’t cover it. [Plus one for adult acne! YAY!]
My GP won’t prescribe it, which is a pain because my old one would. Ugh. Using Epi-Duo at the moment for acne, but much preferred Retin-A.
I started Botox recently for my forehead/in between my eyebrows and LOVE it. I don’t mind wrinkles anywhere else but the ones in that area drove me nuts.
Otherwise I use sunscreen and sunglasses ALL the time. I use basic Oil of Olay moisturizer and no fancy serums, so I am probably a terrible example. Thank you good genetics!
I want to get forehead botox so bad. How much does it cost you?
$300 for 20 units, so $15/unit. Worth having to skip a dinner out once a month!
Is that w/o insurance?
+1. Botox is the best wrinkle preventative. I started in my mid30s and keep it up (2x a year) and have half the wrinkles of my now early 40s peers. Creams don’t do anything imho.
What happens if you don’t keep it up? I’m always have this fear of being “locked in” so don’t want to start something I can’t stop easily.
You just go back to aging normally – nothing bad happens per se other than that & it’s slowed down a little bit b/c you stopped the process in there.
I think if you stop, you of course eventually will start to get wrinkles, but not any faster than you would have before.
I’m thinking of starting Botox too. especially for that crease right in the middle of my forehead! How many units do you do and how long does it last?
The number of units depends on the size of your forehead (mine’s quite large so it takes more). It also depends on how “natural” you want to look – I go for a really natural look (I leave some wrinkles in and don’t want a frozen forehead) so that takes a little less. You just talk with the person doing it for you about what the right amount is for you. Just go somewhere reputable (I go to a plastic surgeon’s office and see a NP there who’s under doc supervision) & talk it out.
I would add an eye cream because although what you’re doing now is working well to keep the rest of your face hydrated, you need something stronger for the eye area. I have tried a lot of eye creams (drug store and department store) and love the Kiehl’s avocado eye treatment. It’s $35 which is pretty reasonable as eye creams go.
Late 30s here and I have had great success in avoiding wrinkles in the eye area with Olay Regenerist eye cream + sunglasses. No answers for you on the forehead wrinkles, though. I have been using sunscreen and Retin-A every day since I was a teenager and I still have deep wrinkles on my forehead. I have found that wearing glasses instead of contacts tends to minimize the appearance of wrinkles/face sagging by drawing attention to my eyes.
Late 20’s here. Once I turned 26, I got surprisingly serious about skincare. I plan to do Botox someday but will likely wait until I hit my 30’s to start. My current anti-aging/skincare regimen is as follows:
Morning:
Vitamin C serum (right now it’s Ole Henrikson’s version)
Algenist Eye Renewal Balm
Moisturizer with sunscreen (currently using Burt’s Bee’s Firming Day Lotion with SPF 30)
Evening:
Cleanse with a cleansing oil (Clinique’s version right now)
RoC Retinol Night Cream for Sensitive Skin
Some kind of moisturizer or hydrating cream – I alternate between a Garnier anti-wrinkle night cream and Laneige’s Water Sleeping Mask
I’ve been following this routine pretty consistently for the last 9-12 months and have noticed that my skin looks brighter/less dull and my forehead creases (my biggest skincare complaint!) look less pronounced.
Is it really worth paying a lot more for quality pieces? I tend to shop at BR, athropologie, Loft, and occasionally JCrew. I don’t love the quality of BR, Loft and jcrew, but they haven’t been as horrible as I’ve been led to believe. I occasionally get Brooks Brothers items ~ 70% off and I really like them, but they don’t get heavy enough use for me to discern relative quality beyond the fact that they look nicer when I buy them.
I don’t have many clothing items, so this isn’t about a giant wardrobe vs a tiny one- I’m just wondering if it’s really worth spending more for better stuff based on how these items hold up over time with heavy use.
Yes. It’s worth it to buy quality. I have a J Crew ponte dress that I bought in 2008-2009 (back when J Crew still had some quality pieces) and I’ve worn and washed it literally hundreds of times. That dress will not die!
Yes and no. For certain items, I think it makes a difference, but it’s not just about the brand because things can differ within brand. Eg. I wouldn’t pay a ton on a basic white Tshirt, because stains and such, but it may be worth it to pay a medium price for one that hangs nicer than a flimsy one. I bought a tweed suit from BB but because it’s tweed, it’s fraying already, I bought a tropical suiting skirt from BB that got a hole faster than my BR skirts and had to toss that one in less than a year.
Any general guidance on which items are worth splurging for? I don’t buy white because I’m just a huge stain hazard, but other than that?
I don’t really get this crusade against stores like LOFT and BR recently (not accusing you, just speaking in general terms). And aside from their perpetual sales they aren’t even that cheap either ($79 for a non-designer shirt-no). When it comes to blouses, cotton dresses/shirts, cardigans, dress shirts(especially BR’s non-iron shirts), etc. those are my go-to stores and have held up fine.
When it comes to things that need to be tailored, suit pieces, and things that need to last for a long time I tend to spend a little more. Thankfully there are some great consignment shops near me so I dont pay full price often. For bottoms I love Theory. They always fit perfectly and I love the fabrics of their dress pants. Also Brooks Brothers is really great for suit pieces. And even though its out of my price range, Anthropologie has some great beautifully designed dresses that could be worn to work or on the weekend.
For me, it’s right in your first paragraph – they’re not cheap, but the quality has gotten worse.
During the 2008 recession, they started discounting everything heavily (making the 40% sale the norm) but started lower the quality to the point where the item was only ever worth (on a good day) the final price after the 40% reduction. So the quality has dropped a ton and even if the sale prices reflect the lower quality, I really miss using them as my go-to for decent quality workhorse staples. I’d gladly pay more for the convenience and quality they used to represent.
Yes but only if you’re confident that you’re accurately assessing quality, not just paying up for a more aspirational brand. Most brands outsource manufacturing with different items made in different factories to different standards, so you do need to learn a bit about garment construction to assess each item on its own merit, and to pick up what clues you can from the fabric labels (‘100% wool’ can still encompass a big range in weight/ quality/ durability).
For those of you in need of a little smile today, I just discovered tinykittens dot com which has live feeds of kittens. Sorry (not sorry) for interrupting your productivity.
Can we talk about offer letters? What should I be looking out for in reviewing them? Any particular horror stories or best practice stories that I can learn from?
I was promised a work from home day verbally and didn’t get it in my offer letter. It is a 100% on site contract.
Joke’s on me. Make sure it accurately reflects what you were promised.
Same thing with anything else you were verbally promised – if it isn’t on the offer letter, get it in writing. Vacation time policy, benefits available (and cost, and how long before they will kick in) are other places where you could be surprised.
I got an offer that was comparable salary-wise once, but luckily I asked and it turns out I would have paid almost 2x as much for worse insurance (higher deductible, crummier plan overall). I was able to use that as a negotiating tactic to bring the salary up so that at a minimum my take home would stay the same (and ended up coming out ahead).
Seeing a new dermatologist soon for a retinol, but: I’m done with the babies and nursing and ready to step up my skincare routine. Noticing redness, dullness, etc. (Maybe I need a BB or CC cream?) Where do I start? Signing up for Birchbox? Taking a quiz on Paula’s Choice website and getting samples? what product lines do you guys like best — and how did you find them? TIA!
I would not sign up for Birchbox. I would wait to see what the doc suggests and then go to Sephora for the problems that aren’t fixed by prescriptions.
+1, BUT I would try to get the doc to give you samples of the things he/she recommends. Mine recommended a C serum that made me break out and then a PM serum that I just couldn’t tolerate the smell of, so I was out like $150 for those and never used them. I found after I got a category (“C serum” or similar), then I could go to Sephora and get samples and find ones that didn’t make me break out through trial and error.
For me, it was (unfortunately) trial and error. I paid attention when these kinds of threads pop up on here. If someone talks about having similar skin problems as me, I’ll try a product or two they found effective.
In case it’s useful for you, I’ll tell you what my routine is. I have very fair (Irish) skin and get terrible cystic acne. I have had the absolute best experience with Cetaphil face wash (I prefer the Normal to Oily — I think it cleans better — to the All Skin Types), philosophy’s Hope in a Jar moisturizer, and Mario Badescu Drying Lotion. My skin is now clear and looks smoother and fuller. I sometimes go out in public with no makeup on! I would have NEVER thought that was possible a few years ago. I also used to struggle with my back breaking out, too, and I use philosophy body washes and a loofah and that has also transformed my skin.
I would honestly try Sephora – they have a Skin IQ program which suggests products for whatever your skin concerns are and they’ll give you samples of everything. Plus as long as you keep your receipts, you can return whatever doesn’t work for you.
I got a job offer! It was super low-ball, though. 68k for a position where the band is mid-60’s to just under 6 figures. I countered at 75 and am waiting for a response. Super nervous! But proud of myself for asking for it. I actually turned down a job earlier in the year for 70, so I am pretty confident my market value is in that range, too.
Now, the waiting game.
Congrats on the offer, and good for you for negotiating the salary!!
Good luck!!
Awesome, good for you for negotiating and good luck!
Congrats!! And really – power to you for negotiating – good for you!
Is Lands’ End sizing pretty standard? As a first-time buyer, should I size up? The size charts seem to have smaller measurements than most brands.
Lands End finished garments tend to run larger than BR/Jcrew/AT, so you may need to size down if you want a more fitted look. The body size measurements (bust/waist/hips) are tied to a smaller size ( 36″ bust is usually a 10/12/L at BR, but an 8 and small at LE), so the clothing tends to be cut a little bigger.
TL;dr – If you are thinking in relation to BR/Jcrew/AT, then no, definitely don’t size up in Lands End. If you are starting from a different size perspective…maybe?
It’s ginormous. No need to size up.
Thanks!!! I had ordered a bunch of clothes last night, and then realized this morning that I should have checked the size charts. In a few brands, I know that I need to size up or down.
FYI, they have free shipping most of the time (or with a certain dollar amount limit) and free returns to a Sears store, so I almost always order at least 2 sizes of everything, with the intent to return one. In my case though, I’m in the area where there is overlap between plus sizing and straight sizing – so I’ll often order for instance an 18 regular, a 16W and an 18 tall (all of which have the same hip size measurement, which is my largest measurement) to see which cut fits me best.
Pay attention to the descriptions as to whether something is described as “fitted” or “relaxed” or “easy fit” – their definition of “fitted” is still more relaxed than a lot of other stores/designers, and relaxed tend to be very boxy (on me at least), so many people wind up sizing down in order to make a “relaxed” fit item fit a little closer, for instance.
I am considering asking my (big law) firm if I can change practice groups from IP lit to IP corp.
Any advice?
Also- curious as to how much of a year haircut I am looking at if they agree (about to start my 5th year here & took 1 year before starting to do work for legal aid (firm approved)).
I think it depends on what you’ve been doing. If you’re been doing a good mix of corporate work and/or are open to continuing to do some IP lit, the effect of the switch may just be in the paperwork and who reviews you and stuff like that, and I can’t imagine you’d lose a year for that. If you haven’t done much IP corp work, then yeah I’d expect to lose some years. It wasn’t unhead of at my previous firm for people to start at the first year scale when switching to a brand new group for whom they’d done little to no work, but that was usually 2nd or 3rd associates, so people who were considerably more junior than you.
My advice would be to take away the dollar signs and decide what your end game is. If you want to stay at the firm for a few more years and not be forced out soon, then a years haircut is good for you. If you don’t want to get thrown in the deep end as a midlevel/senior who is supposed to know what they are doing (but you don’t know what you are doing), then take a years haircut. If you want time to learn and become proficient, take a years haircut. If you understand that corporate clients have budgets for deals and when you’re a 5th year, you’re quite a bit more expensive than a third year (and less likely to be staffed on a deal), then take a years haircut. If you think the corporate market is a bit frothy and deal volume may be reduced soon (very likely) leading to layoffs (possible), then be a cheaper resource at your firm by taking a years haircut.
If you just want to switch over, do a year, and go in-house, don’t take a years haircut. But for your long term learning and career, it’s very, very worth it to take a years haircut. I know very few attorneys who have taken years haircuts who are not glad they did it. Yeah, they miss the 20-40K, but in the long run, it’s much better they did.
FWIW, I have worked in Silicon Valley, and our Tech Transactions lawyers do some of the most interesting work at the firm. I wish I had enough of a tech background to do this stuff. And attorneys that have strong commercial/IP backgrounds are in very high demand in house.
Yup, live in the valley. :)
Just to clarify- I am expecting to take a hit in the years. I did this when I first started at the firm (they would have counted my my year in legal aid as a year, and I decided to come in as a 1st year) and I do think it helped me avoid a few post-recession layoffs.
My goal is to learn and then go in house.
Mostly just want to know how big of a cut I’m taking for financial planning purposes. I expected to go back to a 3rd year or so but some people are saying 1st or 2nd– is this something I have a choice in or will the firm just tell me how it will be if they agree?
Any advice on how best to go about asking? For my firm this is not just a paperwork thing- the departments are fairly separate. I’ve asked a couple of folks who have pulled it off for advice and they have been awesome. I am worried that it might hurt my prospects in my current dept.
If the IP corp group needs a junior person and has a bunch of mid-levels, they are probably going to have to bring you in at a junior level so as not to ruffle any of those mid-level associates’ feathers. Also, they will likely see it as a plus to be able to offer a lower billing rate out to their clients. FWIW, I’ve changed practice groups a couple of times and found it better/cleaner/easier to switch firms at the same time.
I was the poster from a couple weeks back asking for advice on how to mysteriously disappear from the office to go to interviews. Thank you for the tips! They were very helpful. I succesfully arranged for the interviews and did my best to impress.
1. I am now playing the waiting game. Have some offers but am still waiting for my top choice. Feedback from inside folks I know is that the partners liked me a lot but need to formally approve the hiring decision. I am not working with a recruiter so I have no idea what that means? The waiting is tough and I can barely focus on work!
2. For those that lateraled to a competitor, how did your group react? I fear that the partners I work for would not talk to me afterwards since they do take things personally….
Haha I was one of those people who mysteriously disappeared. I went in-house, which is generally better received. I had two colleagues go to competitors, one from a junior to another junior level, and one from a senior level to a promotion to partner (their prospects for partner at my firm were not good). It was uncomfortable with the junior, but the partners seemed much more accepting of the individual who had a bump in status. If you’re going somewhere for a promotion, or a different group, etc., it may be easier. If you’re going somewhere to do the same thing for different people, I wouldn’t be surprised if they do take it personally. Just do your best to leave on a good note and remember you are leaving for a reason!!
Can you repost the link to your previous post? I tried searching for it and couldn’t find it. Would love to also read about the tips!
Tried to respond but seems like I am stuck in moderation.
It was the morning post on September 18, 2015.