Coffee Break: ‘Jessica’ Leather Tote

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1. Sorry for the immediate threadjack– The capsule wardrobe conversation from this morning got me inspired, but my life calls for a casual wardrobe and will for the foreseeable future. I live in jeans and tees/sweaters (depending on season) but I would love to look a bit more polished while paring down/investing in quality pieces. Has anyone done the capsule wardrobe/French Wardrobe (looked that up after someone mentioned it this morning) in a casual version? I would love to get inspiration/a list of specific pieces you find invaluable.

   On a related note, I got a pair of the Sam Edelman Petty boots (black suede) a year ago and they’re probably my most worn shoe for fall/winter/spring. Although I usually wear them with skinny jeans (since those are the bottoms I wear most) I sometimes think they look odd paired together. I think it has something to do with the heel being low combined with the skinny ankle, making my foot look long (I feel like my feet look like alligator heads—I realize that sounds ridiculous and don’t know if I described that sufficiently). What types of pants/bottoms do you all wear most often with ankle boots? Bootcut? Are those in at all right now?

   1. I most often wear ankle boots with skinny jeans and leggings , so I’m hoping they don’t look odd together. I don’t find that flat ankle boots are as flattering, but I’m also not surprised by that because I also don’t find flats as flattering as pumps but I’m cool with that when I’m rushing through the subway or hefting flat-packs at Ikea.

   2. Vivienne Files blog has a ton of pictures and pairings and is based on capsule wardrobes.

   3. I think skinny jeans (especially rolled or cropped) look best with ankle boots. Flares/bootcut jeans or bootcut jeans with ankle boots looks very circa 2000 to me.

   4. I guess you could call my wardrobes (work and non-work) capsule wardrobes since I stick to a limited color palette and only buy those few pieces that I love and wear all the time.

      My casual (evenings and weekends) wardrobe for this time of year consists of:
      – dark blue skinny jeans
      – black skinny jeans
      – medium grey skinny pants
      – three 3/4 length sleeve Breton striped tshirts (grey/white, navy/white, red/white)
      – two super lightweight cotton long sleeve drapey sweaters (grey/white stripe, medium blue heather)
      – three slouchy lightweight cashmere sweaters (black, camel, grey)
      – black cardigan, camel cardigan
      – one solid button down (kind of a medium blue), one striped button down popover (blue/white)
      – black knee length cap-sleeve jersey dress
      – camel ballet flats, black ballet flats, black superga slipons, black knee-high boots
      – camel and grey scarves
      – black quilted vest
      – black lightweight jacket

      I would say that 95% of what I wear in the evenings or on weekends between now and April is in the above list.

      1. Oh, and when it gets really cold, I layer tshirts under the sweaters, throw in 1-2 heavier sweaters, a wool coat, hat, gloves, and snowboots as needed.

   5. Although many of us are old enough to remember when bootcut jeans were in, flared pants are back.

   6. NYtoCO – Angie at YouLookFab blog had a few capsules that I thought were great that were for casual workplaces and or work-from-home people. All of her capsules have interesting ideas and are very well done.

      1. Thanks everyone!

2. I’m looking for one of the elusive heavy wraps that many of you have spoken of—something good for anything from a casual night out to a more formal event. Probably black. I don’t even know what search terms to use. This is cute but doesn’t seem nice enough for, say, a wedding:

   http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/4137859?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=60170024&fashionColor=Black&resultback=477

   1. This is the one that is on my perpetually “wish” list… http://www.brooksbrothers.com/Cashmere-Ruana/WR00013_____BLCK_1SIZ_____,default,pd.html?cmp=ppc_us_GG_pla_AllProducts&gclid=CjwKEAjw7aiwBRCPgdu70arX70wSJADK6iDDINO7dlzcmrFc-HurgeAdjglZfjB2K7cOpI3N9CdLxRoCGfTw_wcB

      1. Oooo, that’s gorgeous and exactly what I had in mind. Too bad $$$ :( Maybe one day.

         If anyone has any other Nordy recommendations (other than the one I posted above) I’m about to head there and would love to be able to pick one up!

      2. During the holiday season, Nordstrom will have tons of cashmere wraps, plain and patterned. And if you can wait till December 26, they will all be on sale.

         I got my purple paisley shawl that I use exclusively for travel (why are planes so cold??) there a couple of years ago for, I want to say, $120, and it has held up amazingly well.

3. I’m looking for advice, I’ve been working as a legal aid and govt attorney for the past 10 years. I recently got board certified in my area of law (pretty significant), and I have been looking to make a change. I am not challenged at my job and I was thinking about going out on my own. I’ve looked at firms in my area, and it’s going to be difficult to break into given my years of experience– most really mentor and hire younger/less experienced associates and then hold on to them for a while.

   Advice? Suggestions? things that you wish you could do over?

   1. Are you sure that a firm wouldn’t want to bring someone like you on as a Counsel or similar? Sure, you certainly have more experience than a noob, but that doesn’t mean that a firm wouldn’t want you. Are there any headhunters that you could bounce this off of?

      If you are looking into going solo, I would check out the ABA page relating to Solo/Smalls. It has a lot of resources and also points you to their (very expensive) books and guides on how to set up a small shop. There’s tons of stuff to worry about–malpractice insurance, how to form a partnership (if you want a partner), business development, legal technology, how to get good pricing from Lexis/Westlaw, etc. They’re a great place to start.

      1. Thanks MJ. I am trying to work that angle, but I haven’t been the best about networking, and I am not really on most firm’s radar as someone who does good work and would be a valuable asset to their team. I am going to try to get my name out there more, and that might come up. In my field, there aren’t a large number of firms and a large number of headhunters for this type of work.

         I’ll check out the ABA page. Thanks for suggesting it.

   2. I actually think that in your case, you may be better off contacting partners/practice heads directly and not through a recruiter. Then, they’re not worried about having to pay the recruiting fees and you can directly sell your experience and what you can bring to the table. Most people I know who are government lawyers never had to develop clients, bill time, deal with retainers and client engagement letters, etc. Not to say that any of this is difficult, but it would be an easier jump to join a firm and be able to do work and have someone else deal with the business part of running a law firm. You can always open up your own firm later.

4. I’m getting more headaches as the season gets drier and I forget to blink while staring at my computer all day. I know there are a bunch of programs for the computer that remind you to get up and look away periodically, but I don’t have access to install them on my work computer. I was looking to put one on my iphone at least. Any recs? Bonus if you have one that dims the screen later in the day (I searched but couldn’t find any made for iOS?)

   1. No recs for computer programs but I found that a humidifier tremendously helped with my dry air headaches. I have a little travel one that plugs into the USB port.

   2. About the dimming…iOS is not set up to allow 3rd party apps access to the code needed to dim the screen (like flux) so unfortunately there aren’t any apps for that. not sure if this has changed with iOS9 release.

      1. …of course they don’t. Thanks for letting me know, I’ll stop searching now.

5. Does anyone else think it’s odd that Kat/Kate are featuring items mentioned in the comments more frequently? On the one hand, it shows they know their audience. On the other hand, it seems more than coincidental.

   This purse has been mentioned by commenters at least three times in the past few months, and I know this because I get stalking e-ads reminding me to buy it every time I check it out. (I loves me a good red bag.)

   1. I commented last week on how much I love my Lodis bag, so yeah Kat/Kate must have seen the discussion. I don’t think it’s weird- usually she says something like “Readers have raved about xyz item…” I’d much rather see a review of something that a IRL person has seen/liked/worn than a random item so I’m fine with this.

      If only she’d have a contest to give away a free Lodis bag…

   2. I agree with what Coach Laura said. The other thing is there seems to be a lot of criticism regarding picks that are not particularly work appropriate (and sometimes people comment on Kat/Kate being out of touch with what people actually wear at offices.. .) So if watching the comments for suggestions is a result of that criticism and wanting to be more realistic in picks, I am A-O-K with it.

   3. I think it’s great to have reader favorites featured on thissite. I just wish Kat/Kate would contribute more to the comments in general. I know Alison on askamanager frequently chimes in on discussion topics (and not just tech issues) and that makes me feel like she is more involved with her readers and it’s not just a one way street of posting info and letting it sit there.

      1. AAM discussions tend to be pretty strictly on topic to the post, too, though.

      2. I don’t care as much whether Kat/Kate participate in the discussion. What I would really like is for someone to moderate the comments. Alison does a great job of letting people know when they cross the line and keeping the conversation civil, which this s1te could really use, especially since the Report button is gone.

6. I think we have discussed wearing really preppy plaid pieces to the office before…I love this Brooks Brothers red fleece tartan dress I recently purchased and am wondering where I can wear it, other than Thanksgiving and Christmas (link to follow).

   I think it might work in my NE business casual law office if styled correctly (any tips or thoughts?). I am also considering wearing it to an elderly relative’s 50th daytime wedding vow renewal/anniversary party in late October. Where else would you wear this?

   1. http://www.brooksbrothers.com/Wool-Tartan-Dress/SX00026,default,pd.html?dwvar_SX00026_Color=REDN&contentpos=25&cgid=0489

      1. I’m obsessed with that dress. I wish they had it in my size. I’m not sure if I would wear it to the office. If the length were right and the fabric were not too dressy, I totally would.

         1. Also, how does their sizing run? I am now obsessed with everything Red Fleece.

            1. I find that I usually wear the same size as I do in stores like AT or BR.

               I love the in-store tailor. They can instantly tell me if something can be altered to fit better, the alterations prices seem reasonable, and they’ll send it to you after alterations if you don’t have time to go back.

               The fabric on this dress does not feel like evening dress fabric to me (I think that is what you mean by too dressy?). It’s wool, which definitely reads daytime to me.

   2. Nowhere. It looks like a costume not a dress. Maybe Halloween?

   3. For in the office it’s fine, if not to my taste. For outside, I’d think it could go to brunch, out to dinner etc. if you really like it, wear it!

   4. I would wear it to work, it would be fine in my biz/cas office. I’d tone it down with a dark jacket or cardigan and dark shoes.

      Enjoy it and ignore the haters.

      1. +1

   5. I disagree that it looks like a costume rather than a dress, but I definitely don’t think this is a business dress. If it were a sheath dress in a more subdued tartan (like Black Watch or Scott) I’d say wear it to the office with a blazer and black pumps, but the fit-and-flare shape and bright colours put this dress firmly in party dress territory. So rock it at Thanksgiving, Christmas and any other event you have this winter!

      1. +1, but know your office. If I *had* to wear it to the office, I would put a black blazer over, black tights and boots to make it look less bright.

   6. I love it. For the office, I’d wear it with tights, booties, and a blazer to break up the plaid a bit. It might look cute with a moto or dark denim jacket and drapey scarf for weekends.

   7. I would wear it with a navy blazer, gold necklace and brown boots for my business casual office. I think you could wear that to brunch as well.

   8. Navy cardigan and nude pumps.

      I would avoid wearing it with tights, because I think they would actually make the colors stand out a lot more.

7. I love this bag! There seems to be a dearth of bags big enough for a laptop that don’t look like a carpetbag.

8. How do you all touch up worn areas on leather purses (like the corners, handles, etc.). I’ve used shoe polish but it doesn’t last. Found something called Fiebings Leather Dye, which looks effective but messy and toxic. I could have a pro do it, I guess, but concerned about the dye rubbing off. It’s a black purse.

   Or is this the retirement point?

   1. I’ve used something like that (but maybe for suede) on suede shoes and it works, but also needs touching up annually.

      You might bring your bag to a cobbler and see what they can do. They seem to have colorfast dyes for repairing and touching up shoes that they polish and could probably do a better job avoiding spatter, etc. Or tell you if it definitely won’t work. They are used to buffing their work and that may make the dye less likely to transfer.

   2. I’ve used a sharpie on corners and small areas. Have never had transfer issues.

9. Is there anything special I should consider before hosting dinner guests who (1) are LDS and (2) are bringing small children? I’ll of course be sure to have non-alcoholic drinks available, but I wondered if there are other things that might be thoughtful. TIA.

   1. No caffeine too, so no chocolate.

      1. You and I must be friends with different Mormons – the ones I know love them some chocolate (but not hot chocolate, b/c no hot beverages).

         1. Ummm what? No. Not at all. Most observant Mormons avoid caffeine, so no chocolate or coffee. But there’s no prohibition at all on hot beverages. Warm lemon water, warm cider etc.

            1. Well, my friends are observant (attend weekly services, served missions, garments, the whole shebang) and they most definitely eat chocolate. But I’m not Mormon myself so I’m not an expert – this is just what I observe.

            2. Hey, maybe my Mormon friends are the renegades!

            3. Mormons are allowed to have caffeine, surprisingly – my Mormon coworker drinks energy drinks all day. He told me that it was only hot drinks, like coffee – I had thought that they weren’t allowed to have caffeine at all before that, too.

      2. Not sure if no caffeine is a dietary preference of your guests, but LDS members can absolutely have caffeine, just not “hot drinks” (understood to mean coffee, any tea that isn’t herbal regardless of temperature). Some members extend this to include caffeinated soda, but it doesn’t apply to chocolate at all.

   2. The kindest thing host ever did for us when we came with our small children was to preemptively move the knick-knacks out of reach. Little glass statues, fancy remote controls, delicate vases of flowers, etc. It is such a relief to be able to enjoy a conversation without having to lunge at my children every 5 seconds. To be clear, I don’t in any way think this is a *responsibility* of the host. At all times, it’s my responsibility to manage my children’s behavior in any environment. But it’s a lovely and much appreciated gesture, in case a host is so inclined.

   3. Maybe grab a few inexpensive coloring books and packs of crayons at the store in case the kids get bored?

   4. Sometimes people have a “playroom” set up for kids, but this tends to backfire because (if the kids are little enough), then some parent still has to be in the playroom to watch the kids, which means everyone eventually ends up there.

      Agree with putting away any breakable knick-knacks if you’re inclined to do so. If you know the parents are ok with it, I think all kids love frozen chicken nuggets (you can buy organic ones pretty easily) for the kids to eat during dinner.

   5. I think LDS members typically do not drink coffee or tea and some don’t drink soda.

   6. Washable crayons and a pack of construction paper are always welcome with kids. If you have outside space, a ball to kick around. Put up anything you don’t want the kids to get into. It’s their parents job to watch them, but I always feel a little bit better when there aren’t shiny expensive breakable things right at my child’s eye level. Kids are often drawn to pet stuff too- bowls, toys, etc. so you may want to put that out of sight.

   7. There is LDS scripture that says “no hot drinks” and I believe a President of the Church had a prophesy for “no coffee or tea” which some Mormons interpret to be no caffeine (but not all.)

      1. This conversation is cracking me up. Wildkitten is approximately right. Observant Mormons won’t drink coffee or tea (except herbal tea), and some, but not most, extend that to any caffeinated beverage. We love our chocolate (and hot chocolate). Also, yes, women can have jobs (lady lawyer here), and no one is “required” to go on a mission (I get those all the time).

         1. When LDS lowered the age for Mormon women to go on missions and the NYT did a series and the LDS website updated what women should wear on missions I found it FASCINATING as a non-LDS but rule-nerd (lawyer) and professional-attire-nerd (corpore t t 3). The attempts to put male dress codes into rules for ladies were so interesting.

         2. Yup. All this. My family is weird at church because I am the main breadwinner (controller) and hubby has the ‘mommy’ type job (part time instructional designer at a local polytechnic). Sometimes people don’t know how to take us.

            And I can’t imagine events like my mostly LDS book club without chocolate! lol.

10. I have a plain black fit and flare dress that I really like, except for the exposed silver zipper running down most of the back. I think it limits the accessories I can wear, which is a shame because the dress could be so much more versatile. Has anyone ever replaced a zipper like that with one that doesn’t show? Wondering how difficult it would be, and what I could expect a tailor to charge me.

    1. Replacing a zipper is not difficult at all (maybe slightly more difficult in delicate fabrics like lace and chiffon). An invisible zipper would use slightly more fabric than an exposed one, but the difference would be so minuscule you wouldn’t notice it. Pricing would vary hugely depending on where you are located. My tailor in my previous, smaller city would charge $20 to replace a full-length zipper, but in my current HCOL city it would probably cost me $60 or more.

       1. If you have an exposed zipper, you probably can NOT replace with an invisible zipper unless the manufacturer left a fair amount of seam allowance. The difference is definitely NOT miniscule – it’s going to be at least a 1/4″ on each side, which can be significant in the garment making world.

          You don’t need to replace with an invisible zipper though – and an invisible zipper may not be ideal, if the fabric has weight to it (like a ponte knit). You can get zippers where the teeth and tape are the same color (usually plastic) and replace with that. You might be able to expose the zipper less so the fabric comes up to the teeth, rather than showing a lot of tape. Which is FINE, and typical of dress construction prior to the exposed zipper trend.

          All of this depends on how the zipper was installed and how much seam allowance remains, though.

    2. Not expensive at all. If you want just a plain black zipper (depending on the material of the dress–cotton will be easier/cheaper than silk, for instance), it could be anywhere from $10-50.

11. FYI I bought last years Lodis Audrey zip top, similar style, and it has held up great (although I have an easy commute by car). I was worried the smooth leather would scratch but so far not at all. I’ve been really pleased with the quality.

12. Totally late in the day, so thank you to anyone who has advice: does anyone know of resale/swap places for women who’ve gotten divorced to do away with their old jewelry? My aunt went through a nasty divorce and neither she nor her daughters want anything to do with the jewelry he bought her, so a lot of it has come to me — not only is it not my taste (think a 1 carat heart-shaped diamond) but I don’t want the bad vibes from the dude either. (It was NASTY.) She had the diamond reset as a pendant.

    1. The website I’ve heard about is called “I do now I don’t” and I’ve read positive things about it, no experience. Apparently, it has some protections built in which makes it safe for buyers and sellers.

    2. Circa is another place I have seen lots of ads for, but have not used. Many local jewelers sell estate jewelry too.

    3. I just used Outofyourlife(dot)com. I had a positive experience. It was easy, painless, and money was deposited in my paypal account right away.

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