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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 166 Comments · by

Splurge Monday: Isobel Stretch Crepe Sheath Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. DvF Isobel DressHow did it get to be March already? This black dress is boring, I'll grant you — but it does look like it's beautifully made, and kind of the perfect basic piece for your wardrobe. Love that mid-V, the wide straps, the high back, and the flattering seaming (which you can't see at all on DVF, but you can on the Bloomingdale's page). DvF has it on sale, as well: it was $428, but it's marked to $298 at dvf.com (sizes 4-14 in stock). DVF Isobel Stretch Crepe Sheath Dress Here are a couple of lower-priced options (here, here) and a plus-size alternative. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

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Comments

  1. Nonz

    I have an interview this afternoon and won’t have time to run home and change in between. I got to work and my polyester shirt is already wrinkled. Any tips for getting out the wrinkles while wearing the shirt? Thanks!

    • Clementine

      Does your office restroom have a blower hand dryer? Can you use the hot air from that to blow some of the wrinkles out? Alternately, if you take the top and stretch it tight, then use the hot, humid air from your mouth (open and breathe on it like you’re defogging a mirror), that actually works a bit.

      Other ideas: borrow an iron from a hotel, buy a new shirt at lunch, run a hair straightening iron over it to eliminate wrinkles.

      • ace

        buy a new shirt, if possible. I think you’re going to make yourself crazy and probably not be entirely satisfied with the result with anything else.

        • Emily

          Agree, or a travel iron or hair straightener at the drug store, whichever is closer–clothing or iron.

    • Ellen

      Yay, Kat! I LOVE Pricey Monday’s and this is a Great Pick for a Pricey Monday! I love Bloomie’s and also Diane Van Fustenberg. She so classy, I realy want to be like her someday, being abel to be fashioneable and NOT have to work. I think she is MARRIED to Barry Diller, a guy that also make’s alot of money and work’s not to far from where we are here in NYC.

      As for the OP, you can get wrinkels out of polyester by wetting it, then useing a hair dryer on it, but make sure to stretch it so that the wrinkels do not re-wrinkel all over again! That would be a real FOOEY!

      This weekend, Myrna and I met some guy’s at the DELI that want to date us! They seem pretty nice, also and do NOT want for us to just have sex with them. So both of us now are abel to have guy’s for the Saint Patty’s Day parade, which I alway’s go to, b/c it is on 5th Avenue, and the manageing partner know’s that I got a legal cleint once just standeing out on the street watcheing the parade. Myrna and I will stick together to make sure these guy’s do NOT pull the wool over our eye’s. She has been burned so many times by guy’s who were VERY sly and were abel to get her to do thing’s she regretted later. She has gotten smart, and NOW will NEVER go back to a guy’s apartement until after you date him for a few month’s.

      The manageing partner wants for me to meet a new cleint today at LUNCH. He is onley 25 year’s old, but has his own window washeing busness with alot of illegal alien’s that wash for him. My job is to make sure that the guys do NOT get WC unless they are REALY injured, and his worker’s ALWAYS claim they are hurt so that they get PAID NOT to Work. FOOEY! Fortnuateley we have a guy on retainer that investigate’s and take’s alot of picture’s, and we have gotten picture’s of guys who were suposedly injured doing ROOFEING work! That, my freind’s, is an example of FRAUD that we can NOT tollerate. I hope the HIVE agrees! YAY!

  2. Anonymous

    How do folks deal with professional envy? A grad school peer of mine is doing amazingly well in her career. Her success is all well-deserved–she’s a hard worker and incredibly smart–but there is also a certain amount of luck involved (e.g., she happened to be in the right place, right time for certain opportunities). I’m happy for her and I get that a certain amount of haphazard good fortune is just part of life, but it can also be hard not to feel envious because, at the end of the day, I know I’m just as smart, hard-working, etc., as she is. Hope this doesn’t sound whiny/bratty/etc. Just trying to figure out how people manage to be happy for the well-deserving individuals in their lives without getting too envious and/or down on their “only mildly successful by comparison” circumstances. Thanks.

    • Anonforthis

      It’s just as bratty – but I compare myself to the people from high school or college who looked down their noses at me but are now not doing as well.

      • 2 Cents

        Haha, me too. Especially the ones who made my high school days a living hell.

        • Anonforthis

          It’s the *best* thing when you get a notification that they’ve looked at your LinkedIn.

      • MJ

        This. You do you. As you get older, people will do better and worse. You just need to work your own plan and find happiness where you are.

    • ANP

      I had a wonderful friend and former colleague who, sadly, is now deceased — but she offered me a great piece of advice about this once. She noticed that we always tend to compare ourselves to people who are doing better than us, so it’s always a no-win game. That really resonated with me! I still fall prey to the green eyed monster at times, but just gently reminding myself that we’re all at different places on the road is a big help.

    • anon

      I struggle with this too. I try to tell myself that a rising tide lifts all boats, so think about it this way: your grad school peer is now a really valuable professional connection.

    • Houda

      I get over it by knowing for a fact that they have their own struggles.
      I am seen as an off charts success story. There must be at least one article about me each semester in my alma mater and I am often invited as guest speaker at career events to showcase success stories.
      On paper, I make too many people around me jealous but in reality, I am not thriving at my job, my personal life is a mess and I am battling a walking depression.
      When I see someone doing so well and getting recognition, I tell myself that they probably have some less stellar things that are not showing because we are all human.

      • Anon

        I agree, Houda. It is never productive, or useful, to compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.

        Sorry you are struggling right now – I hope you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself!

      • ANP

        Houda, thanks for this brave admission. I think this is so important to remember — that we never know what’s really going on with someone else. Big hugs to you.

        • Houda

          Thanks. I didn’t want to make this post about my story but I know that we always show our best side, so unless you have the full story, consider yourself good enough.

          • Mary

            Your story is a great illustration of this quote:

            “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” -Stephen Furtick

    • WorkingMom123

      I think it is completely normal. Those of us who are on corporette tend to be competitive and are used to being high performers. I do this… I am a lawyer and a lot of people I went to law school with are now partners. My firm has a longer track than many other law firms (we have a 9-10 year track) and I feel inadequate compared to my law school colleagues because I know that they think I’m not as successful because I’m just an associate. And yes, I am jealous of people who already have “made it” when I haven’t.

      • ace

        Whoa. Did I secretly write this post? In the exact same position at my firm which does not follow the same partnership conventions of our region — so I’m seeing former colleagues & law school classmates and younger making partner while I’m a [frustratingly high] year associate. I’ve been surprised by how hard that’s hit me the last year or so as I see people lapping me.

        Sorry to derail, but thanks for sharing WorkingMom123, as I’ve been feeling kind of shallow and silly for carrying about being “only” an associate.

      • goirishkj

        You could also be me. I have my dream job in government, and yey that green eyed monster keeps popping up as friends and former colleagues make partner this year. I was not prepared for how it would hit me. It makes no sense to me how I can both be happy where I am AND jealous of those on a different path. No advice, just commiseration.

        • Wanderlust

          Here too. I’m a Staff Attorney in biglaw (read less $, less opportunity for growth) and many of my law school classmates are Associates. My firm never promotes SAs to Associates, and this far out of law school it seems like the Associate ship has sailed. I’m still super jealous about it, but it sometimes balances out when I’m leaving at 5:30 for the night and my Associate colleagues still have several hours of work ahead.

  3. Neighbor Drama

    I am looking for advice on how to best handle a conflict with a group of neighbors. Thank you in advance.

    I recently moved into a new house where the “2 car garage” doesn’t fit some of my larger cars (Mercedes R and old Toyota Camry) – we have 3 and at any time I can fit 1 car in. Driveway is too short. As a result, I park 2 these 2 cars on the street which is public. We keep one of the cars parked in front of our house, and I park the other car wherever there is space.

    I am aware this is a burden on the community so I try to vary the location that I park.

    Over the past few months (and yesterday) I had 2 individuals come and yell at me for parking in front of their house (these 2 individuals happen to be part of an informal Chinese neighborhood association). Their reason is because it is “their” space and that it inconveniences them and their guests.

    I tried to explain the situation and suggested that I would *try* not to park in front of their house whenever possible. They said it was unacceptable and that I should not park on the street except in front of my house. I asked for another solution–they said that it wasn’t their problem and yelled at me for being unreasonable. I didn’t raise my voice, but was firm in expressing this was a public street and that I would try.

    Officially HOA regulations say that garage must be clear to accommodate the number of cars it is designed for, and that street is governed by city regulations.

    I don’t want there to be conflict, but don’t see too much more I can do. I also don’t want the yelling to continue, they threatened to tow my car and said that a bunch of them were “watching” me (here’s where the informal neighborhood association may come to play).

    I am looking for advice on how to handle this situation. Next time I buy a car, I will buy one that fits, but that won’t be for a few years.

      • Anon

        Right?

        Although I think I’m going to start adding in “this/these individuals just happen to be a part of an informal Chinese neighborhood association” to all my stories from now on.

        • Neighbor Drama

          I’m sorry, I was trying to be detailed.

          But am just looking for advice on how to best handle.

        • Wildkitten

          Who among us isn’t part of an informal Chinese neighborhood association?

    • Cat

      just to check – is there a reason you need to keep all 3 cars? (Older kids?)

      are you friendly with any other neighbors that don’t use the space in front of their house, and that would be willing to let you use theirs? Although trying to spread the extra car problem around seems fair, if it doesn’t matter at all to some homeowners and REALLY pisses off others (however unreasonably), it might be the best solution to find a few reliable locations instead. (I’m assuming that this is a fairly well defined community as opposed to parking in a big city, where anyone looking for parking might nab an opening…).

      • Ellen

        I agree with Cat. Why 3 cars? You do NOT need 3 car’s in NY City. Even 2 car’s seem’s a littel high, so if you can get rid of at least 1 car, that would be a VERY good thing. It would also PRESERVE good public relation’s with the Embassy peeople, b/c it is NEVER a good idea to create an INTERNATIONAL Incident by fighting with these peeople. FOOEY!

        I told the manageing partner your story and he told me he has a similar issue in the HAMTON’S, where the neighbor’s guest’s also park all over the place. So it is NOT an ethnick thing at ALL. Peeople of every race, color or creed park all over the place and this can be upseting to other’s. Beside’s, I know peeople from Asia that do NOT even have car’s. That is very good for the enviroment. YAY!

    • anon

      as the neighbor whose neighbors park in front of my house–it’s annoying (a neighbor has long-term house guests sometimes who park in front of our house for weeks–we are even on the other side of the street). And I hate it, but like you, I know that the public streets are public, and provided they’re not damaging my property, there’s not much I can do.

      If they’re threatening to tow or whatever, I would just call your city’s police/parking and/or public works to make sure that you are indeed correct. A tow company can’t tow your car if you are parked legally, and the neighbors can’t have it towed without your permission.

      Are there options for enlarging the driveway to allow a second car’s width? I assume your garage is as clear as it can be to accommodate the most cars possible?

      • Anon2

        +1 to all of the above. What you’re doing is certainly annoying but, pending your verification of city regulations, it is well within your rights.

        • Anonymous

          I would actually stop cow-towing to them. Just pick a spot and park in it. It’s a public street. Your neighbors (and people in general who think they have a right to the public street in front of their house) need to get over themselves. You’re not trampling on their yard or dumping out your beer cans when you get out of the car. If they are having a party and would like the space for a mobility-impaired guest, they can ask politely for you to leave it open that evening. But they don’t have a 24/7 entitlement to a public street. If they continue to harass you, call the police.

          • Anonymous

            Oh my God, YES. Clearly even though I grew up in a farm town (you know, the kind with COWS) with high school educated parents and didn’t even know the proper spelling of the word, I subconsciously was aware of the racist undertones. Not everyone grew up in your privileged little East Coast ultra-PC bubble where you attack everyone for every little comment. Don’t you have some “gender” reveal parties to blow up?

          • anonymama

            Anonymous, the chip on your shoulder is so big it is obscuring your vision. Take a deep breath. Anonymous 2 was not calling you racist, just cluing you in on the implications of what you said (as I have myself been clued in on the use of words like “retarded” or “gypped”, which I had thought were fairly innocuous, but now realize are actually rude and offensive. Just extra-unfortunate that you happened to use “kow-tow” in referring to something about a Chinese neighborhood association. (Also, just FYI, I’m from a medium-PC west coast city with a lot of Asian people). Don’t be like those people who say something offensive and then get all indignant because they’re a good person, they have a Chinese friend, they can’t be racist! And it’s not about being PC, it’s about not being a jack@ass, even if it was unintentionally.

          • Mpls

            Well, we could just invent the phrase “cow-towing”. Towing a cow, and imagining a lead rope and someone trying to pull the cow, is a fruitless endeavor if the cow doesn’t want to move. Which, sounds like the neighbors attitude towards the cars…

          • Anonymous

            Well played, Mpls and Joey :) anonymama, I disagree that there is a “chip on my shoulder” but I agree that my response was way too quick (tried to edit and missed the window, but that’s not an excuse for not following the 10-minute rule). I do find it useful to learn the unfortunate origin of phrases, and I have seen excellent conversations on here in the past where posters gave the user of such phrase the benefit of the doubt and explained its origin rather than immediately crying racism. I think “See…racism” is absolutely calling someone a racist, and it undermines the entire point Anon was trying to make. I drew this conclusion by the “google” at the beginning of her “See” string. It was unnecessary and adds nothing but snark to the post.

      • Neighbor Drama

        Garage is clear.

        Others on the street store things in their garage, and park a second car on the street. It may be that it is just one additional car they are parking that makes it acceptable.

        I mentioned the Chinese association because the rest of the folks speak Chinese and are part of this close knit group. Together they have events, carpools, hire contractors, etc. I don’t see them being yelled at.

        • Jen2

          Can you modify your garage? We bought a new home that had the wooden entry steps into the house placed in such a way to make the garage space too short. We had the builder route the steps sideways, instead of projecting straight out , and our car then fit. Having a neighbors car always outside my door in a cramped neighborhood frankly, would bother me!

    • Anonymous

      Park your cars in your garage (BS of course they fit) or in front of your own house or get rid of one?

      Stop being so racist?

      Stop being so entitled to walk all over your neighbors because they’re Asian?

      I find it hard to believe that between a 2 car garage, your driveway, and the frontage of your house you can’t solve this. Obvi your HOA is trying to prevent this by making you keep the garage clear so unclear to me why you are so shocked. Your neighbors aren’t getting yelled at because they are following the rules.

      • Neighbor Drama

        I am Asian as well.

        I apologize for the bad choice of words.

        I meant to say that these individuals are part of a close knit group with other members of the community who also seem to be doing the same thing. Also, that there may be a language barrier.

        • Anonymous

          Honestly either figure out a better way to deal with your cars or ignore them since you’re entitled to be the annoying neighbor.

          Typically American to have such large cars you can’t even fit them in the garage.

          • brokentoe

            This is pretty harsh – I used to live in a house that was built around 1900 – its garage was so small that it was really challenging to fit a normal sedan inside, much less an SUV or mini-van type vehicle.

          • Anonymous

            Oh good grief, she said it’s a Toyota Camry. I’ll be the first in line to say “your car is too big” if we were talking about an F-150 or a Tahoe, but it’s a freaking Camry. Pick your battles.

          • marketingchic

            I have two average sized cars and a two-car garage. If we want to keep anything else in the garage (trash cans, lawnmower), we cannot fit them both in the garage. That is, if you want to open the doors and get out of the car after you’ve pulled in. HOA rules say the trash cans need to be kept in the garage, so the trash cans win. First world problems . . .

          • LAnon

            HA – I have a one-car garage that it is tough to fit my Mini into! And not one of the bigger Minis that have cropped up in the past few years, but a little Cooper S that requires me to carefully edge into the garage, then squeeze out and side-step out of the garage. There is nothing else in my garage. Typical American, amiright!??!

          • Anonymous

            Your last comment doesn’t even make sense, because if she was such a “typical American” based on your stereotype, wouldn’t her garage be 2,000 square feet?

      • Anonypotamus

        There is an easy answer here – inconvenience yourself and park the third car in front of your own driveway. You would have to move it to get the car that is parked in your garage out, but at least you won’t be in anyone else’s “space”.

        • Bee

          They probably can’t do this. It’s illegal to park in front of a driveway, so most cities will ticket/tow the car even if the resident doesn’t complain.

        • Anonypotamus

          But not all, see NYC, traffic rule s.4-08(f)(2), so the OP should at least check.

      • SoCalAtty

        How do you know they fit? My last house had a “1 car garage” that didn’t fit either one of our cars. We parked one in the driveway and one in the street.

        It’s a public street. Annoying when it is in front of your house, but if you just NEED parking for that many people to be available and not subject to public street parking rules, buy a house where you have that.

    • Houda

      Do you have to keep all 3 cars? is there a way you could manage to keep only 2 or if the third car belongs to someone else they can take it off of you?
      My mother stopped driving and decided to put her huge SUV in my garage spot, this meant my tiny car had to stay out in the street. I am not sure about your neighborhood but where I live passers by would key it from end to end and many reckless drivers will break the rear view mirrors.
      This might happen to your car if your neighbours are so upset that you place your big cars in front of their house.

      • Neighbor Drama

        My parents are in town about half the year for extended periods of time. We keep the extra car for them when they are here.

        • Jen2

          Look for off site storage half the year ? Neighbor problems are the worst – do what you can to avoid having them!

          • Anonypotamus

            I don’t know if OP is for real, but this comment wins the internets today!

          • winteranon

            I think this is unnecessarily mean. You’ve made your point several times, but it’s at least possible this is a real person asking for advice.

          • Get over it.

            At this point you’re worse than a potential troll. I think OP is probably legit, though with some unfortunate phrasing.

          • cc

            I don’t think you need to yell troll to every single one of her comments. You’ve made your point. You can disagree with her choice of wording but this doesn’t really seem trolly (though she is wrong in her wording). You’ve been really different lately WK. I feel like you’ve been meaner, angrier, a little off. Your post the other day when you were talking about engagement rings as consideration made me think that maybe an imposter had taken over your posting name.

          • Wildkitten

            She posted a ridiculous fact-pattern followed up by increasingly racist comments.

          • Anonymous

            Is it automatically racist if someone mentions race? I don’t understand why or how its racist? She was saying it (and continued to explain) to point out that all of these people are very friendly and tight and she is unlikely to get recourse through the homeowners association because of this tight knit friendship that was bourne though this common bond of them all being Chinese Americans.

            Be screaming RACIST everytime race is mentioned, you diminish what racism actually is.

            She didn’t say: They suck because they are Chinese. She said: They are all Chinese and this makes them have a closeness.

          • CA

            Nope – homeowners associations are often a-holes. She could have left out their ethnicity and gotten exactly the same point across. Her specific reference to her neighbor’s Chineseness here felt very much of the “they are pushy FOB Chinese being unreasonable, and, you guyz, they can’t even understand English!!! can’t you guyz totally relate to my side of the story” variety. If you’ve ever lived in Vancouver, you would totally know what I’m talking about.

          • Anonymous

            @CA–

            I think you are reading *way* too much into her reference. Sometimes it’s exhausting trying to write a post on here and deleting or changing every single detail that might be interpreted the wrong way. All she meant was that it’s a close knit group in the same way if all the neighbors had 8 year olds who played on the same soccer team. If someone truly immediately jumped to the thought you have in quotes, I would be more likely to think (but not conclude!) that that person is the one harboring negative stereotypes of Chinese people.

        • Anonymous

          But these aren’t actually massive cars? Can you modify your driveway? Park one car in front of your yard and one blocking your own driveway? I really would not be thrilled having you car in front of my house all the time.

          • Jen2

            Again- we had to modify our garage to fit normal cars. In my opinion, some builders can be greedy and construct homes that people can’t use. This is similar to the idea of jamming in airline passengers to the point you see air rage. We had some people shot in our state over parking in a cramped neighborhood. It’s serious business. Pay for off site storage or do what you must to avoid a unpleasant situation on the place you live, which should be happy not stressful and angry!

    • Maddie Ross

      For what it’s worth, I totally do not think you’re a troll, and I’m pretty sure people who do have never dealt with an HOA and the crazy regulations or things that people believe that it entitles them to do, but anyhoo, is there anyway you can extend your driveway to include a new parking pad next to it or behind it? We have a small bump out in ours that is meant for a garbage can, etc., but it fits a carefully parked small sedan. Might be something to try.

      • Vienna Metro

        I know of a place where you have THs with garages (small — Honda civic fits, but passenger cannot enter car on passenger side; passenger must exit car outdoors). There is a driveway / pad for car #2 and then a sidewalk. Sidewalks *must* be unblocked, so I can see a second car not fitting onto it w/o blocking the sidwalk. And you can’t move structural components in a TH w/o the HOA approving / major headaches, so the OP may truly be boxed in.

        My street is overrun with people who park there and go to the metro, so cars there in front of my house any time I might need a plumber / electrician / etc. to stop by (never mind friends or an ambulance / fire dept). Total pain M-F. But I picked the ‘hood and it’s a public street. If I wanted isolation, I’d live somewhere else.

      • another anonymous

        I’m not sure if there is a formal HOA in your neighborhood, but if there is, and if you decide to alter your garage or extend your driveway, check to see if the HOA’s governing docs require pre-approval for this and what procedures you must follow to get that done. You don’t want to create more of a headache by doing unapproved work.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        Or you could do what people down the street from me did and just park it on your front lawn. Surprisingly, with all the car regulations, they didn’t think of including a provision preventing that one. This isn’t a rural area with a big yard where that makes sense. It is a small front yard and they just drive up on it parking the car parallel to their house.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      Apologies if I’m being obtuse, but the math isn’t working out for me here. As I see it you have 3 spots available – car in the garage, car in the driveway, car on the street in front of your own house. How are you ending up parked in front of a neighbor’s house? Is the issue that you’re keeping zero cars in the garage? Because if I was your neighbor and I knew you had a vacant space on your own property but were choosing to park in front of my house instead, I really would be annoyed and would consider asking you to maybe not do that. From what it sounds like, you’re imposing on what is (not legally, but customarily) your neighbor’s space in order to avoid the relatively minor inconvenience of moving the driveway car when you want to get the garage car in and out – that’s not really neighborly behavior.

      • Zelda

        This. Park the car you rarely use in the garage so that it doesn’t have to be moved very often.

        • Anon in NYC

          +1. The car that you barely use for your parents should be kept in the garage. Other cars that are moved on a daily basis can be parked in the street or the driveway (even though it’s too short). I would be annoyed if someone else’s car was parked in front of my house for days/weeks/months on end because it would limit my ability to use that space. Doesn’t mean you can’t do that, but I can see why others are annoyed about it.

      • Anonymous

        I read her post as saying the driveway is too short to park a car without it illegally blocking the sidewalk, or if no sidewalks, hanging out into the street. Anon in NYC’s, I’m not quite sure what you mean by park it in the driveway anyway if the driveway is not long enough for the vehicle, unless there is room on the side to pave/put in gravel and park the car at an angle.

    • Neighbor Drama

      Thank you for thoughts. I am honestly trying to work out something and am not purposely trying to be annoying–either as a neighbor or on this site.

      It sounds like there isn’t anything to do in the short term beyond what I am currently doing. Modifying property, getting rid of a car, buying different models are longer term options.

      I had mentioned the association because I had thought about trying to talk to them because it sounds like there are a group of individuals who are all annoyed. There is a language barrier because it didn’t seem like the other 2 individuals I spoke to understood me.

      I was looking for suggestions from this community as options to present and possibly how to go about it. At this point, it seems like that too would be a bad idea given how it is playing out here.

      FYI

      Vienna Metro’s comment above describes our community.

      We have 1 car in the garage. The length of the other cars if parked on the driveway run into the sidewalk violating HOA rules. All our cars are large because we have 3 children who use car seats/boosters. As I mentioned, I will look to buy a smaller car next time we have the opportunity.

      • Anonymous

        You have the opportunity now if you want. Sell one big car, buy a smaller one. When your parents visit they can drive that or you can drive it to work and they can take the bigger car with the kids.

        Or just ignore them because you’re right, this is legal.

        But I don’t think bringing it to the association is going to help. I don’t see a language barrier- pretty clear they don’t care what you do they just hate having your cars all over.

        I also don’t really understand why off site storage isn’t possible.

      • Senior Attorney

        I suspect your neighbors and the HOA would be less unhappy if your car were in the driveway, even if it runs into the sidewalk, rather than parked in front of other people’s houses. Seriously. This seems the tiniest bit disingenuous to me.

        • Anon

          I think this just depends on the community. Where I grew up, parking across the sidewalk was a serious faux pas* and parking in front of other people’s houses was par for the course.

          * And honestly, is pretty problematic for people who use strollers and wheelchairs, in particular.

        • Carrie...

          Actually, this is a problem. She can’t block a public sidewalk.

          In San Francisco, I could not park in my own driveway because my car (a Toyota Camry) was so “long” that it overlapped with part of the public sidewalk. Remember, side walks are public property and you cannot block them. I got a crazy big ticket for that one from the city cops. Ugh… SF tickets.

          So this is a little tough. Can you park the car that you use the least on a side street nearby, so it isn’t actually in front of someone’s house?

          I live in Chicago now, and there is hell to pay if your neighborhood has parking preferences and you refuse to play the game. It is absurd, but true. My father has had his car keyed and his windows broken.

          I like the idea of selling one of the cars now and buying the tiniest car for your parents. Maybe then you could fit two in the garage.

      • Momata

        Assuming your neighbors’ garages are all about the same size as yours, and your neighbors all have two cars that are of average size so they don’t fit in the garage or on the driveway, your neighbors are also parking two cars on the street – since you have one in your garage, and are parking two cars on the street, you are still doing something differently than your neighbors are doing. What is that something? That’s what’s making them mad.

        • SB

          The neighbors are not parking two cars on the street. They are likely parking one car in the garage (as OP is doing) and one car on the street in front of their houses. OP just has that third car that is the issue.

      • anonymama

        Can you park the one car you don’t use often somewhere else? Say a few blocks away, by a school or park or something where it won’t be right in front of someone’s house? You can tell the neighborhood association, I have an extra car, is their a place where it would be okay to park it for now? Or offer to pay someone for a spot?

      • SB

        Park the car you drive the least in the garage and park both the other two cars in front of your house (as much as possible). This means blocking in your driveway so you wouldn’t be able to get your third car out without moving another one, but that’s a small price to pay for harmony, especially if you only use that car half the time anyway.

      • Anon

        For me, this is one of the most confusing and annoying, but prevalent, neighbor dramas. I will never understand why people find the idea of “public” property to be confounding. It seems to me that a car parked in front of your house is only “annoying” if you perceive that to be your property. If it’s not, you are just being controlling and entitled and fretting over the frivolous. If I were you, the next time one of them confronted me, I would say (as I once did), “Perhaps you should inquire with the City to see if they will sell that spot to you.” Your neighbors need a hobby, so maybe that could be it. Otherwise, I would keep doing what you are doing, which is being polite within the rules/laws. And if your HOA doesn’t have rules about grass height or paint colors (which they probably do), I’d grow the grass out nice and tall and paint your garage pink, too.

    • Anonymous

      I have to side with the neighbors here. It’s completely unreasonable to take up valuable parking real estate for a car you’re not even using. If you want to be able to have as many cars as you want parked as close to your house as possible, move to the suburbs.

      • Anon

        Whaaaat? This reeks of suburban mentality to me. In my experience, inthe city, people generally understand they don’t own the street, so someone is going to park in front of their home most days.

        • Marilla

          +983457893758375 – who cares – it’s the public street – park in front of someone else’s house and be glad you don’t live in a suburb with room for 12 cars/house!

        • Anonymous

          Yes. This. Where I live there are cars parked on the street 24/7. So long as street parking is legal, there is no right to not have a car parked in front of your home.

        • agreed

          Yes this sounds crazy to a city dweller. No one has a right to control who parks on their street. I’m just glad parkers don’t block my garage access.

      • CA

        Sure, but to be fair, it’s also pretty ridiculous for someone not living in the suburbs to own 3 cars.

        • Anon

          Really? 2 working drivers plus a spare for when parents come to town, or maybe when one of the two cars needs to have work done? Sounds like an ideal situation to me. Not unreasonable at all. Especially if they are paid for, and especially with kids. Not everyone wants to schlep their kids on public transportation.

      • Bonnie

        I agree. We live in the city with only street parking and one of our neighbors has 4 cars, taking up about a 1/4 of the parking on our block. To make things worse, he doesn’t park the cars tightly, often taking up 2 spots for a car. When we asked him once to try to park better, he told us he wasn’t feeling “neighborly.” He has a right to park as many cars as he wants but is an a**hole. I’d be irritated by OP parking multiple cars on the street. The car that isn’t used half the year should be put in storage.

    • Senior Attorney

      This is why I am so happy my city does not allow overnight parking on the street. Even though occasionally my son (or even me) forgets and gets a parking ticket, it’s still so so so worth it to avoid this kind of drama. Plus the street just looks a hell of a lot better without cars parked on both sides 24/7.

  4. i'm the favorite

    Ugliness notwithstanding–what is your favorite boot for commuting/play/snow/yuck. No budget, just need warm dry feet–and, ugliness isn’t an issue. I work in a jeans-casual office.

      • lucy stone

        I have these and want to like them, but mine keep bunching up at the heel when I put my feet in and I feel like I have to wrestle them back on. Do you have this problem?

        • Anon

          Only when I wear them without socks (see: early morning walks with my dog). Otherwise I have no problems.

    • lsw

      Ugg Belcloud. Changed my life. I own in brown and black. (They have a newer one that is similar but it doesn’t look exactly the same so I can’t verify if it’s as good.)

    • Houda

      I”m currently wearing aerosoles midcalf biker boots because they have a fleece-like lining and feel like I4m walking on cotton. They are slightly edgy but go unnoticed in my business casual office especially that i am keeping everything else very conservative

    • Anon

      Sorels. I’ve had mine 3 years and they look brand new. They may be more intense than what you are looking for, but I live in a cold, slushy area and they are great.

    • Carrie...

      Why go for ugly? La Canadienne’s. I have multiple pairs, all purchased on deep discount. They are warm, waterproof AND look good. I have wedges, heels, suede, booties, knee high etc… If you keep good care of them (wipe off snow/salt and clean carefully with diluted vinegar and re-waterproof every year) they can last for many years.

      I wear my suede wedge booties almost every non-work day.

      • SuziStockbroker

        Doyou have a style recommendation for cold+wet? Also where to buy at a discount? Their own website has everything at full price.
        Thx :)

        • Carrie...

          I find the styles I like and order from 6pm or Zappos when they go on sale. But they are not cheap… definitely not. They are the most expensive items of clothing I own except for a coat or two. But for me, they are essential investments.

          I live in Chicago and they are absolutely fine for this weather. I am not hiking through the woods in the snow or going snowboarding in them, but I shovel out my car in them, commute in them, wear them on weekends and some I wear all day long walking in the hospital. Of course I try to avoid terrible slushy dirty messes, but I walk through snow and step into slush all the time. My feet are dry and warm.

          I just really do not care for the large clunky (and to me… very ugly) snow boots like Sorrels etc… that are very popular right now. I also have largish feet (9.5) and those big boots look like monsters on me.

          I’ll put a couple links below of pairs I have now.

      • Mpls

        If OP wants one boot to act as her one pair of snow boot for multiple situations (which was my take on the question), then La Canadienne’s are not the right choice. My take on LCs (based on reputation and not actual use) is they are a good dressy alternative for professionals that need to deal with cold/slushy climates. But they aren’t a real snow boot.

        • First Year Anon

          I dont know about that- I own a pair and have walked through snow banks and puddles and slush and never had a leakage issue. I think they are.

          I would make sure to get a flat style though so you are more stable if it’s icey.

          • Mpls

            I’m not saying they won’t work for slush and commuting, but when I think of snow boots, I think of frost plugged soles, the thing you put on to push your car out of snow bank, what you wear to shovel the driveway/sidewalk, will keep your feet warm and dry when its wet and slushy as well as sub zero. That’s the difference between “snow boots” and “boots that work in snow” for me.

        • Li

          La canadienne suede and leather is treated in Italy with a waterproof layer, lined with a thinsulste warm lining, handmade in Canada, and are more waterproof than any snow boot I have tried. During a snow storm they keep my feet warm, dry, and the low heeled ones do not aggravate my foot issues. They look very elegant, but actually their function trumps their designs, and I like all their designs. I have six pairs all purchased on sale,and they last ages. I cannot go back to other brands as my feet run cold, and no other boots are as warm and waterproof. This is a brand that is magical!

    • BoSnow

      I bought Sorels this year, and they’ve been fantastic. I don’t know what model I got, but they’re shorter than the Joan of Arctic. Good traction, warm, dry, easy to lace. They are really heavy though, so I only break them out when there’s fresh snow on the ground. Day to day, I prefer to use my (ugly as sin) Merrill mocs.

      • Cb

        Agreed…I leaned back to get something and toppled my chair over. I think both my pride and my back are wounded.

        • Baconpancakes

          Oh goodness! I’m simultaneously really sorry for you and also laughing a little because it’s always funny when that happens, and then feeling bad for laughing. Hope you’re ok!

          • Cb

            Ha! It was a bit of a slow motion catastrophe, my officemate was in shock! I sit in a straight chair and I leaned back to grab my bag and overbalanced it. Not my finest moment but brought a bit of entertainment to my office (final year PhDs + marking season= grumpy, grumpy office).

    • Rogue Banker

      I feel this comment on a deep and visceral level. Not enough coffee in this building. -.-

  6. mintberrycrunch

    Can we talk about yoga?

    Some recent back issues have sidelined me from my normal exercise routine (running, HIIT, etc.), and its looking like this might be a semi-permanent to permanent change in my routine. I’d like to start doing yoga instead. I realize it won’t be a great proxy for my former routine, but I’m actually excited for something different.

    I have done an occasional yoga/pilates/barre class in the past, but I’m pretty much a complete beginner. I’m not particularly flexible (which has probably contributed to the aforementioned back issues). Unfortunately, though, I don’t really have the time or money to devote to multiple weekly classes or private instruction at this point. I’d like to practice at home daily, but I’m not sure how to get started. Any DVDs or streaming services that you’d recommend? Other advice? TIA!

    • Zelda

      Do you have the time/money to take a few basic/intro classes before transitioning to an at-home practice? A good teacher will ensure that you are doing the poses correctly, which will prevent further injury, as well as suggest modifications for your current injury. I’ve never used any dvd’s or streaming services, but I’ve heard good things about daily burn.

      Once you become more comfortable with yoga and start to build your strength, you could try power or Ashtanga style yoga, which tends to be more vigorous.

    • Anon

      Get a smart TV or an Amazon Fire Stick. Youtube has a bazillion yoga videos for whatever level you want. I do 80% of my workouts off Youtube. Virtually unlimited options and, with the exception of the initial technology access, it’s free.

    • SW

      I use the Rodney Yee videos when I can’t make it to a studio class. I agree with Zelda that you should attend a couple of intro classes first. You will probably find it more physically challenging than you expect and proper poses will really help your back issues.

      You also might be surprised about your flexibility. I can barely reach my toes but most bound poses are no problem. I guess I am just flexible in different places or something.

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        +1 to all of this.

        Try to snag a Groupon for a nearby studio – they’re usually $25-$50 for 5-10 classes and most studios have a beginner class that you could attend just to get your footing/get some in-person coaching on the poses. Once you’ve got a basic grounding in the poses, Rodney Yee’s DVDs are the way to go.

    • Sarabeth

      Most studios have cheap intro packages for new students, usually of the ‘$20 for unlimited classes for 2 weeks’ variety. If you live in a midsize city, you should be able to rotate through these for 6-8 weeks at least. That will give you a much firmer foundation for your home practice. As a beginner, it’s *very* useful to have a teacher in the room to help you get your alignment right. Once you feel like you have the basics of what the poses are supposed to feel like, take a look at YogaGlo or another streaming service. I’d still try to budget for at least one class per week for a year or so, though.

      edit: This is doubly important with back issues. I have back issues and do a lot of yoga, and it’s not obvious which poses will be good for your particular back issues, and which ones might exacerbate them. When you go to classes, tell your teacher up front what your issues are and ask for suggestions on modifying/avoiding poses that might trigger your pain.

    • mintberrycrunch

      Thanks for the input, everyone! Looks like I need to make some time for classes this month.

    • NYNY

      It makes sense to take a class, even if it’s just once a week, to get a foundation for your home practice.

      Look into Iyengar yoga to help with back issues. Iyengar uses props – blocks, belts, blankets – to help get you into a pose properly even if you don’t have the flexibility and/or strength on your own. Teachers are trained in modifying the poses for their students’ abilities. It’s great for back problems and increasing flexibility.

    • Anon

      I would go to a in-person class a few times to get started – even cheap ones at big gyms should be fine. If you want DVDs, there are a lot of good ones out there like Rodney Yee and Shiva Rae. If you’re mostly just looking to stretch, try Lastics.

    • Anonymous

      If you want to go the in home route, you might try looking for Iyengar yoga type videos. (I started out with someby Jason Crandall on the yoga journal website). They focus a lot on body position and can be helpful in learning the poses. Then, if you want to switch to another type you at least have a base. But, I have found that a good yoga teacher at a yoga studio (rather than a gym) is an awesome resource.

    • yoga for the back

      you might want to try Gary Kraftsow’s viniyoga videos that are specially geared to recovering from back injury. they are on amazon.

  8. Sole Society

    So I recently bought Sole Society’s “‘Dianna’ Pointy Toe Pumps” in Brown/Fudge (link to come).

    I love love LOVE these shoes. They look so cute and classy, except they’re too narrow around my toes. I’ve worn them to work three times thus far and could feel the pinch around my toes by mid-afternoon.

    So any suggestions on what to do with them? Ladies in the DC area, are there places I could sell them? They look almost brand new and just don’t want to give them away…

    Any ideas would be appreciated!

  9. AIMS

    I really like this dress. I don’t think it’s boring at all. I want all my clothes to be this dull – then I can wear all my fun shoes and not feel like Rainbow Bright.

    • Anonymous

      I love this dress, too, but I really hate the idea of spending $299 (on sale) for a synthetic dress. Why not wool or silk or a cotton/silk blend?

      • AIMS

        Random sizes left, but the Brooks Brothers sale section has a bunch of amazing “boring” black dresses in wool/wool blend for under $200 right now. Talbots also has “seasonless wool” (which is only 87% wool, alas) dresses but I haven’t tried them so no idea if they are as good in real life as they appear on the model, though they are 25% off of$158 right now.

    • TO Lawyer

      I love boring black dresses. They’re the perfect canvass for a fun blazer/statement jewelry/fun shoes. I think this is pretty.

  10. Anonymous

    I posted a few weeks ago about an interview I had with a federal agency. I felt like the interview didn’t go awesome, but then they contacted my references. Its now been two+ weeks since I heard that my references were contacted. I know it can be a long process, but how long? Honestly, I thought I would have heard by now, since I’m fairly certain there were only two days of interviews.

    I do have a contact at the agency. When (if at all) is it appropriate to contact her and ask if I’m still being considered?

    • Mpls

      Honestly, 2 weeks is hardly any time at all for a private sector employer, much less a federal agency. I think you probably get one check in, and I wouldn’t do it before the 1 month point, and might even wait for 2 months.

      • Anonymous

        Thank you. This is my instinct as well, but I’m stuck on it and it feels better to type it out and annoy random internet strangers with my neurosis than to continually harass my husband about it. He has said the exact same things: put it out of your head and NO! don’t contact her.

      • Marise

        I disagree although I am not in the federal sector, just local government. After two weeks, I would send an email letting them know you continue to be very interested in the position and would be happy to respond to any further questions or to provide additional references.

  11. countc

    I am currently working in a temporary contract analyst position at a company I would like to work for full-time perm (in a contract analyst position). My boss suggested I apply and has recommended me for a contract analyst position in another business unit. I am supposed to have second round interview for that this week. My boss also unexpectedly had a FT, perm CA position open up in the business unit I am currently working in. First round interviews were just scheduled for that position (which is the one I really want), and I have an interview with a man who is also a CA and another man who is the senior CA for our BU. I work with both of these men daily and have done several projects for both (I have been here two months on a PT basis). I know the company has to follow the formal hiring procedures, but I cannot imagine each of these interviews will go on for 45 minutes. I also am having a hard time figuring out what they will ask me about as they already work with me and they know that I want to work here in the FT perm position. Has anyone had similar internal interviews? What should I expect?

  12. Sunshine

    [This was a reply to countc above]

    I’m in a different field, but I just went through internal interviews. I interviewed with someone I’ve worked for the last several years, plus two co-workers of a year, to secure an open position (promotion) in our department. The interviews did not last the full scheduled time.

    My best advice is to follow the lead of the interviewer. If the interviewer is being formal and asking specific questions, give specific answers. If the interviewer is more casual and prefers to have a dialogue with you, then do that. Be prepared to talk about what you’d see as your most valuable contribution, where you see opportunities for the department to improve, and possibly where you’d like to see yourself in 3-5 years.

    Good luck!

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