Coffee Break: Pave Gold Diamond X Ring

EF Collection Pave Gold Diamond X RingToday is the final day of the ShopBop Friends & Family sale, where you can take 25% off tons of their curated collection of hip basics.  Although the “editor’s picks” at ShopBop are pretty across-the-board great, I’m a fan in particular of their jewelry department — it all seems cool and lovely and interesting and totally droolworthy. Today, I’m craving this pave gold diamond X ring, which looks substantial but delicate all at the same time.  (And, hey, who doesn’t love a good diamond ring?) The ring was $850, but with code INTHEFAMILY14 it comes down to $637.50. EF Collection Pave Gold Diamond X Ring

(I also love: these nearly sold out diamond huggie earrings, this delicate locket, or this rock and roll version of a pearl ring… just to name a few!)



  1. Wow, I love that pearl ring! And it’s my size (on my middle finger). And not too too expensive. Kat, what are you doing to me?

    In other news, I visited DSW today and wanted ALL THE SHOES. Easter needs to get here now.

    • Baconpancakes :

      I LOVE that pearl ring. Saw it weeks ago and coveted it. Fortunately, it’s not available in my ring size.

      • I never wear rings, but wow that is nice. I also like the Avant Guard Paris Amerie ring in the “other shoppers viewed” section. Ooh, it’s only $70, so really only $52.50. Wish I knew my ring size.

    • Anonymous :

      Anyone know where to find a similar but cheaper version?

  2. Shopping help!

    Does anyone have a recommendation for a shrug or fancy cardigan (cropped, ideally) to wear over a strappy cocktail dress for some coverage? As someone who doesn’t love her upper arms, I have a small collection of these already but they are mostly heavy like cashmere, and I’m looking for something a little lighter for a spring event. Lace or shimmer or sheerness etc. would be fine within reason, since it’s for a dressier look. The plainest ones I’ve seen (e.g. Talbots) look a bit too business-casual to me.

    In a perfect world it would be neutrally color other than black or white (I would love a nice gray, for example), but based on what I’ve seen so far, I don’t think I can be that picky, and black might be the best I can do.

    • This one’s pricey but pretty:

    • My friend found a gray cropped cardigan at Ross the other day.

    • Check out anthropoligie:

      • Also its bridal cousin, BLHDN:

    • S in Chicago :

      Check out White House Black Market. They usually are great for that sort of thing. When you shop online, don’t forget to shop both the regular and sale section (for some reason, they seem to turn over inventory really fast there).

    • Meg Murry :

      I’m not finding any online right now, but Macy’s had a bunch of black shrugs in their dress section last time I was there, and a lot of them had lace or sparkly details. I think this might be worth a trip to your nearest brick and mortar department store to look in their dresses section.

    • Tons on etsy – takes some digging, but often same style as BHLDN but cheaper

    • Thanks everyone for these suggestions!! Found a few possibilities already. I love that black crocheted Anthro one, and WHBM has a silverish one.

  3. PinkKeyboard :

    Is anyone else incredibly disturbed that the Ukraine is forcing the Jewish people to register? I really didn’t think I would see something like this in my lifetime.

    • I just read that as well….it just seems so surreal. And terrifying.

      • It’s not actually clear that any of that is happening. Not to say it’s not disturbing that anything of the kind is even being suggested, but what is being reported is that leaflets to this effect were handed out in a contested area of Ukraine and it is unclear who is actually behind this. It is entirely possible – likely even – that it is an attempt by pro-Russian forces/supporters to create a situation where Russia “has” to step in to protect the Jewish population. As one of his many justifications, Putin has long been trying to portray Ukraine is being filled with fascist anti-Semitic forces.

        The entire conflict is obviously very complicated and I don’t pretend to understand most of it (so if there have been other developments, please correct me) but “Ukraine is forcing the Jewish people to register” doesn’t seem to be an accurate description, at least at this point.

        • more info is coming out now, but yes it is still very complex and opaque. it won’t be clear for a while exactly what is going on and what the consequences will be. Chaos in a situation like this can be very very bad. It will be hard, but we need to do a lot of ‘waiting and seeing’ right now.

        • I would say regardless of who is behind it and what their motivation is, this spectacularly horrific action is going to be just one of many things that ends up requiring international involvement at some point in the near future.

          Also, not to get all overly political, but if there is any indication that Russia is behind it, the international community should really take a hard look at if we should continue to call them “developed” between this and ya know, the perpetual beating of LGBT people.

    • yeah, it does not sound good… I am holding my breath everytime I check the news. :o(

    • Anonymous :

      That makes me feel sick

    • My mouth just dropped when I saw that. If people aren’t learning from history yet, it’s terrible…

    • I remarked a few weeks ago that Putin was starting to remind me of both Hitler and Stalin. Argh, that’s awful.

      • Well, that's going a little too far, dontchathink? :

        Stalin and Hitler were responsible for the deaths of countless millions. Putin is hardly a model leader but he also has a long way to go before any comparison to those two would be actually warranted. Not to say that we shouldn’t be ever vigilant, but there are many leaders that are doing worse things right now that no one seems to be even aware of, much less having them being in the conversation.

        • I am so glad I did NOT agree to marry Willem. I cant even BEGIN to imageine liveing in Belgum with all of this happening there. FOOEY!

      • Former Partner, Now In-House :

        In her book “Prague Winter,” Madeleine Albright discusses the talks in 1938(?) between Czechoslovakia, Germany, England and France to try to assuage Hitler so that he would not invade and take the Sudetenland portion of Czechoslovakia. He claimed that German-ethnic people there were being discriminated against. In response to every claim he made about their treatment, Czechoslovakia promised to stop. It did not matter. He did not want to change the way those people were treated: he wanted an excuse to invade. So he did.

    • It’s being discussed as a point of propaganda, not fact, now…

    • The news is saying that it’s not Ukraine, but pro-Russian militants. With the news coming out of Russia that the armed persons in Crimea were in fact Russian, I wouldn’t be surprised that these aren’t along the same propoganda lines aka reason to invade.

  4. TO Lawyer :

    My current weekender bag is very close to falling apart as I realized while packing for the long weekend. Any suggestions for weekender bags that are functional and nice looking? I’d prefer to stay under $200.


    • Can you tell I’m off today? Ha!

      Anyway, ebags has a lot of great weekender bags in your price range. Love this one:

    • I love my everlane weekender. Very sturdy & I think it looks great! Also, way under $200

    • I swear by my Le Sportsac Large Weekender. It is very light and has many pockets. I decided to get them for my bridesmaids as gifts and they really like them.

      • The Bay has these and they do go on sale.
        The luggage store in Bayview Village has lots of new LeSportsac patterns I’ve not seen anywhere else, and best buy and future shop on line have these too.
        Or The House Of Lulu’s Yoga On The Fly duffel is nice.
        Roots’ F and F sale is coming next weekend too I think.

      • I love my LeSportsac weekender. Third this suggestion.

    • If TO is referring to Toronto, then check Danier, they have lots of lovely weekender bags, and the men’s travel bags are lovely as well. Plus all their stuff is pretty well made (or so I have concluded from the 8 or so pieces I own)

    • The Getaway bag from Stella and Dot is awesome!

  5. Anyone here who has experience with TTC that found any of the various fertility charting software and/or web sites to be useful? Do you recommend any particular one? I bought the book TCOYF but find that web site’s free charting options to be rather clunky and am looking for better options. I’m okay with paying for a software or subscription fee. I understand the charting concepts and and know it’s something I could do on pen and paper myself, but I’m also the type of person who is motivated by charts and graphs and bells and whistles and will likely be more diligent with charting this way.

    Thank you!

    • I haven’t used it for actual fertility charting (just tracking, but I know that it has more advanced options), but I really like the WomanLog App (apple and android). Very simple and easy to use, easy to glance at the calendar for an update, etc. It might be too simple for what you’re doing, but take a look. Good luck!

    • Fertility Friend. It’s the best one I’ve found out there – easy to use, and if you just want to chart, that is a free service. If you want more analytics, you can pay for advanced settings. It has an app for your smart phone/tablet.

      • anonforthis :

        I did not chart but did use the free version of this to keep track of periods, lady garden parties, pregnancy tests, etc. and I liked it a lot.

      • I had success with Fertility Friend. I didn’t find the forums particularly helpful though. If anything, they caused me a lot of stress!

    • Anon for this :

      I used PeriodPlus. If my faint line from this morning is real, I’ll give PeriodPlus TEN stars!

    • Also anon for this :

      Another vote for Fertility Friend. I used it for the detailed charting and found it really helpful. I also paid for the extras after a couple of months and I remember thinking it was worth it. Have fun and good luck!

      MU JD, I’m so glad you mentioned it. I had totally forgotten about that account, which is just crazy to me when I think about how much time I spent on there while TTC. Good timing, too, as we’re seriously thinking about trying for another starting in June. I remembered my login and am going to catch up the data…kind of exciting!

    • AnonLawMom :

      Another vote for fertility friend.

  6. Famouscait :

    Spinning off from the lengthy debate in the morning thread about a spouse who practices bad health habits, I’d like to get the Hive’s opinion on another situation. My FIL recently retired and has taken up smoking pot. He is also obese, smokes cigarettes in secret, is 95% sedentary, has a high reliance on pain meds, and has diabetes, glaucoma, high blood pressure and a history of heart-attacks. Despite these frustrating qualities, we love this man and want him to have a long and happy life. The issue here is not really the pot, it’s that FIL is acting like he’s invincible when he’s clearly made very poor health choices that effect his quality of life.

    DH is the only family member who has tried a “We love you and care about you and want to see you take care of yourself” approach. It did not go over well at all. FIL’s only response is that he’s going to move to Colorado where pot is legal (again, not really the issue). I think he’s acting out during this big life transition, and will work this out of his system in a few months when he gets bored of sitting around all day smoking pot and watching TV, staying up nights because then he can’t sleep. He was also gently informed that we would never leave bun-in-the-oven grandchild in his care when he’s using drugs. That seemed to get his attention, but still the behavior remains. My real fear is that he is going to die suddenly, when most of the family is pissed-off at him for his behavior. Thoughts? Can anyone else out there commiserate?

    • Let him act out. Can’t change people who don’t want to change. You’ve expressed your concern and you can do so, semi-often and lovingly, but at the end of the day he’s going to make his own choices. I know it stinks, but just repeat “he is an adult” and maybe entice him with grandpa activities when he isn’t high?

    • Senior Attorney :

      I’m not aware that pot (I thought we called it “weed” now, BTW — my son made fun of me recently for calling it pot) is hazardous to one’s health. Indeed, it might be a good replacement for some of those pain meds and cigarettes.

      • anonforthis :

        Only if he’s actually using to replace those things. Otherwise it’s self-medicating that might be interfering with his other medications because he’s likely not telling his doctors that he’s smoking weed. If he has a narcotics contract and a urine drug screen tests positive, then they will likely stop prescribing him narcotic pain meds.

        OP, I agree with others that there is nothing you can do to change him. Just accept any time DH has with him now since you are right that he’s likely to die suddenly of a heart attack sooner rather than later and don’t let your kid around cigarettes or weed. It’s hard to see people you love abuse their bodies, but you can’t make them change. If DH has expressed his concerns, then let it go.

    • Frugal doc :

      He’s not going to change.

      Encourage him to see is doctor as directed, and watch for signs of depression. Then let him live his life. I speak from painful experience.

      But absolutely insist you grandchildren will not be trusted to him if he is using drugs. That was totally appropriate. He has to understand that what he is doing to himself will have repercussions. And this is one that even he realizes is legitimate. Nice job.

      But one thing… If he truly does have chronic pain, encourage him to get try some physical therapy now that he has more time, and plan more healthy/walking outings with him. And also understand that marijana may be giving him some pain relief.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Re-posting because of moderation for the cigs:

      I’m not aware that pot (I thought we called it “weed” now, BTW — my son made fun of me recently for calling it pot) is hazardous to one’s health. Indeed, it might be a good replacement for some of those pain meds and cigare*t*t*es.

    • My mom is a total pothead. I hate it. But she’s retired, and it’s hard to change her. She has a fairly healthy life otherwise.

      I just told her I wouldn’t hang out with her when she was high. She still smokes, but not around me.

  7. Famouscait :

    **Trying to avoid the moderation-bot. Sorry if this posts twice**

    Spinning off from the lengthy debate in the morning thread about a spouse who practices bad health habits, I’d like to get the Hive’s opinion on another situation. My FIL recently retired and has taken up smoking p*t. He is also obese, smokes cigarettes in secret, is 95% sedentary, has a high reliance on pain meds and has diabetes, glaucoma, high blood pressure and a history of heart-attacks. Despite these frustrating qualities, we love this man and want him to have a long and happy life. The issue here is not really the pot, it’s that FIL is acting like he’s invincible when he’s clearly made very poor health choices that effect his quality of life.

    DH is the only family member who has tried a “We love you and care about you and want to see you take care of yourself” approach. It did not go over well at all. FIL’s only response is that he’s going to move to Colorado where p*t is legal (again, not really the issue). I think he’s acting out post-retirement and will work this out of his system in a few months when he gets bored of sitting around all day smoking pot and watching TV, staying up nights because then he can’t sleep. He was also gently informed that we would never leave bun-in-the-oven grandchild in his care when he’s using dr*gs. That seemed to get his attention, but still the behavior remains. My real fear is that he is going to die suddenly, when most of the family is mad at him for his behavior. Thoughts? Can anyone else out there commiserate?

  8. hoola hoopa :

    Little poll to test an assumption.

    Do you consider fiber content in your clothing purchases? In general or specifically polyester content.

    How old are you?

    • Anonymous :

      Yes, in general. 35.

    • Famouscait :

      Yes, in general and for wool (allergic). 31.

    • Yes, in general. 30

    • Yes. I prefer natural fibers, but especially avoid polyester 99% of the time. 36.

    • Yes, in general, but it’s also the feel of the fabric too. 27.

    • I’m 47. I grew up thinking polyester was tacky. Nowadays the fabrics have improved; not only that, I prize its washability and unshrinkability. I’m opposed to anything shiny, but not opposed to anything with a matte finish or a stretch jersey.

      • 46, also amazed by how much synthetics have improved.

        I do prefer natural fibers, cotton mainly, for summer clothing, but have found that a bit of spandex isn’t terrible. Plus I kind of like rayon/Modal/tencel – I think it is made from bamboo, does that count as a natural fiber? It’s just nice and drapey. I like wool and cashmere for winter and am sad at how difficult it seems to be to find thick wool pants – not suiting wool, but thicker, heavier stuff. I’ve complained about this before.

        Not clothing, but I absolutely refuse to do synthetic shoes. Must be leather. I get ungodly sweaty feet with synthetic shoes (sorry for the TMI).

    • Yes – 39, always. I tend to avoid cotton as I don’t like how it wears over time.

    • Moonstone :

      I always consider it. Sometimes I buy the polyester anyway. 50.

    • Yep. 23

    • layered bob :

      Yes. 27. Don’t mind a polyester blend depending on the fabric feel, but prefer natural fibers.

    • Anonylicious :

      Yes. 29.

    • Hildegarde :

      Yes, in general. I strongly prefer natural fibers, but this factor isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker. 29.

    • Yes, all the time. I don’t buy anything that has too much non-natural fibers, unless it’s sport clothing. I’m 32.

    • Generally, yes. But I’m more concerned about how the fabric feels to the touch. When I’m browsing a thrift shop or jumbled clearance rack, sometimes I don’t even really look at the garments. I’m just running my fingers along the clothes and I stop when I get to something that feels good. Then I pull that out and investigate from there. So many things look pretty from a distance but feel horrible, stiff, chintzy,unbreathable, etc.


    • Anonymous :

      Yes, 29. I don’t have an absolute ban on any fabrics, but it certainly affects what I’m willing to pay for an item.

    • amberwitch :

      I always look, but sometimes compromise – I prefer natural fibres, but sometimes buy microfibre if the feel and cut is good enough. 38 years.

    • Anonymous :

      no. I only care if it a) fits, b) isn’t too expensive.


    • This is officially the most boring thread ever. Are you going to give us the punch line or what?

      • wow, the most boring “ever”? You must have a low bar for boring. There are about 5billion other pages on the interwebs if you’re so bored over here.

        • Senior Attorney :

          This isn’t nearly as boring as the “is it okay to wear peeptoes to the office” threads.

        • To be fair, I was *trying* to scroll through it but it was interminable. But since I have been shamed, Hoola, I always consider it, and I’m 33.

      • hoola hoopa :

        I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your answer is no, you don’t consider fiber content.

        I’m also going to point out that it’s been all of what, an hour and a half? How short is your attention span?

    • yes, 36

    • Yes, in general but excluding work out clothes, 28.

    • Always for work clothes. Sometimes for casual clothes, the % I check in directly proportional to how much the item costs. 43 & change.

    • Yes, always natural fibres only. (I’ll make an exception for upto 5%, e.g. 95% cotton, 5% elastane).

    • Nope, I never even think about it except to avoid real leather (for the same reasons I don’t eat meat). Otherwise I feel the fabric, check whether I can get away with washing it at home, etc., but I don’t read or care about what it’s made out of. 26.

    • Yes, I always look at the fiber label before buying a clothing item. I want different fibers for different applications. I don’t always avoid polyester. I’m 35 and my mom had a fabric shop when I was little. She also taught me to sew and about different fabrics and stuff.

    • Yes I check the label, then wonder what it means as I realize I know nothing about fabric (and wish I knew more). I have no idea what I should be looking for, how it wears over time, how it should be cleaned, etc. 32.

    • Hate polyester. 39. I am indian and grew up with cotton and silk.

    • Yes, and I’m 20. I use it primarily to tell whether it’s worth the price and how well it will wear. Primark do fair isle jumpers every winter for £13 which are 80% wool 20% nylon. The nylon tells me it’ll be long wearing (and I’ve had my oldest one for three years and this was the case)

      • No. Only care how it feels/what I have to do to clean it.
        Hate 100% cotton sweaters because they never hold their shape. Otherwise no.

  9. Muay thai? :

    Has anyone tried muay thai? I got a Groupon for 10 classes at an MMA place near me, and now I am getting nervous about going. They don’t have a beginners class, so I was thinking of going to the All Levels class. Do I just wear regular athletic clothes and sneakers? Will it be like a regular fitness class? I should have thought this over before I made the impulse purchase.

    • What it will be like will depend entirely on the place – no two are identical. You might be hitting a bag, you might be working mitt drills with a partner. You should NOT be sparring if you are a beginner, so if they try and get you to spar, you should politely decline and then never return because they don’t know what the eff they are doing.

      There will likely be some sort of warm-ups (jumping rope, running, etc) and conditioning (abs, pushups, etc) – will completely vary by place and instructor though, so hard to generalize.

      Wear: sports bra, tshirt (crew neck – a scoop neck will be revealing when you’re punching and clinching), and loose shorts with compression shorts underneath for coverage (so you don’t flash people when you kick). It is highly unlikely that you’ll be wearing shoes, but bring them just in case.

      Heads up that most people scrape up their elbows when they first start because, unless you are regularly training muay thai, you aren’t used to hitting things with your elbows. It’s normal, and your skin will toughen up.

      Since it sounds like you are a bit nervous, I recommend you give them a call and ask them to tell you more about the classes, what to expect/format, etc. And then have fun! And keep your hands up :)

      • Senior Attorney :

        This is all good advice. And you might want to ask if you can watch a class before you actually dive in. Most places don’t mind observers, especially if they are potential students.

      • Muay thai? :

        Awesome! Thanks for the detailed reply! Knowing that places differ, this sounds like what I was hoping it would be. On a side note, I had no idea that this was usually done barefoot. I love that because I really dislike wearing sneakers. I’m not too worried about getting scratched up; I do rocket yoga and generally come home with bruises and scrapes. Thank you!

  10. Where do you guys buy furniture? My big ikea dresser is headed for the garbage (drawer bottoms won’t stay put, get jammed, etc.) and I’d rather not buy another piece of “disposable” furniture (especially because we may be moving in the near future and my experience with Ikea stuff is that it can be fine in place, but doesn’t handle being disassembled too well). I’d also rather not spend more than $1K on a new piece – which seems to be the going range for a lot of what I am seeing. Add to that the fact that I need something that will hold a LOT (I’m actually thinking of getting an armoire) but we live in a small NYC apartment that just isn’t suitable to giant furniture a la a lot of the chain furniture stores like Raymour, etc. Ideally, I’d find something used and old that was made of real wood to old school (smaller) proportions but my usual spots aren’t producing results… Looking for some other ideas. Thanks for any tips!

    • Do you have a Cort nearby? They sell furniture that has been used in staging houses for sale and other stuff that has been bought for staging but never used. I got a great dining room table and chairs for $799 that retailed for $1500 (because I had seen it and liked it but didn’t want to spend that much). They sell all kinds of stuff, new and previously rented (and cleaned) for staging.

    • Did you try children’s/teen furniture (like Crib & Teen City in Northern NJ). I got a dresser on sale (pale wood) that doesn’t look anything like baby furniture.

    • hellskitchen :

      When I lived in NYC, I bought bookcases, dining tables etc from downtownfurniturenyc dot com. It’s one of those big furniture warehouse places in Chinatown. They had a lot of stuff I saw in C&B, West Elm etc but at half the price and free delivery. The stuff I got from them was well made, looks good, and survived a big move. I’d start with the website, decide on a few options and then go to their store to check it out in person.

    • My favorite place for vintage is Furnish Green (dot com). They post new pieces online almost daily, and there are frequent beautiful mid-century modern pieces made of real wood and nicely proportioned for city living. The store is in the Garment District, and they have great delivery options.

    • So, I’m guessing the usual suspects: West Elm, Crate and Barrel are out? I have a totally random suggestion for you since you’re in NYC. I was there last weekend and found this very reasonably priced boutique furniture store. I can’t for the life of me remember the name, but it was right across from 135 West 18th St (I was at the bookstore there). It had a lot of cute mid-century modern-ish furniture. Almost all of it was small apartment friendly and the prices were a bit below CB level (like $1500 can buy you a whole dining table + chairs set). Can’t speak to the quality personally but it looked well made, and hey, worth a fun browse if you’re in Chelsea.

    • What about Nadeau (I love the Chicago store) or Room & Board? The latter might be too pricey for something that needs to hold a lot, but the Linear line can be customized and might fit the budget.

      • Second Nadeau. we were in there the other day and I saw a lot that would fit in my small rooms. AIMS, I’ve also had luck at Home Goods for smaller scale items or I just measure and spend a lot of time checking tags at the furniture store. I did find a dresser in the children’s section. taller and narrow.

    • AIMS, several years ago I found a handyman / carpenter to make a bunch of furniture for me — some bookcases, a dresser, and a shoe cabinet. It’s all held up pretty well, and was unbelievably cheap — I remember the exact #, but <$1500 for 5 pieces.

      That particular guy is no longer around, but you might try asking around to see if anyone in your circle has a guy that could do something similar.

      • I second this idea, I had a guy make me a dresser out of beautiful blue buggy pine wood (which was native to where I was at the time) when I was 19. I’m 38 and my son uses it now and it’s still gorgeous and in the same excellent shape. My parents have a bedroom set he made they’ve had for pushing 20 years as well, still in beautiful condition. He was a true carpetner/craftsman not a handyman, so it cost a little more, but the dresser was still well under your budget. Plus it’s the only one exactly like it in the world. :)

    • A lot of my furniture is from Arhaus–really lovely woods and it has a lifetime guarantee. If you need accent pieces, I like the shaker pieces from LLBean. And, believe it or not, CostPlus has great furniture. My friend’s wife is one of their buyers, and she literally sources from the exact same factories that make West Elm, Pottery Barn and more expensive stores’ furniture, at a fraction of the cost. It’s good stuff, if you like “espresso” finish, which they seem to be especially fond of….

    • We ordered living room furniture from Lancaster Handcraft (definitely high quality, solid wood). I am not sure if they have dressers listed, but it might be worth emailing them with what you are looking for to see if they could do something for you. They do a lot of cabinetry.

    • craigslist; macys; local stores.

    • Gothic Cabinet Craft? I don’t know anything about the quality, but the people who lived in my old apartment before me had them custom make some stuff, and it looked pretty good and is I think not absurdly expensive.

    • craigslist. But that can be hard in NY where it’s hard to deal with getting transportation and pickups and it adds to the price, etc.

      i especially like stores that specialize in Asian or European furniture, because it is designed for smaller spaces, and I like my furniture to be to scale to my small place.

      • WOW – So many great ideas, thank you! I will be checking all this out. I’ve already started looking on Craig’s List but the transportation is a bit tricky. Plus, for some reason people in NYC think really crappy furniture is worth a lot of money so they want $800 for a dresser that would have been at home on the set of Goodfellas 25 years ago.

        Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find anything quite right at all the usual suspects like West Elm and C&B, mainly because I want a bigger than average dresser to fit all my stuff, though the teen stuff is a great idea — I found the *perfect* wardrobe/dresser at PB Teen though, alas, it only comes in white (this is it, if anyone’s curious:

        I”ve never heard of a lot of these (downtowfurniturenyc, furnishgreen, nadeau, arhaus, etc.) so will definitely be checking those all out! I love Gothic Cabinet (we got our desk there) but anything that would work for the bedroom would cost too much between paint and finishes, i think, and it wouldn’t make me “happy” in that “I don’t care how much this cost, I f’ing love it” sort of way. And, NOLA, I adore Homegoods — already going there every single chance I get but so far without much luck for a bigger storage piece. But I always manage to walk away with something I “need” …

        Seriously, these are fantastic – thank you!

  11. Are lapel pins/brooches passé? I’m almost 50, in a business formal (jacket every day plus heels, pantyhose required, no sleeveless allowed but full matching suits not required) environment. I wear scarves and statement necklaces often but sometimes a boring jacket to me looks better with a pin. I have some from MoMA, a unique topazio one from Portugal, an amber one from my trip to Estonia, etc. I am looking to add to the collection and there were none at Macy’s except for the type that 70 year olds with blue hair would wear. And none at MoMA. So does are they going to make me look old?

    • From time to time, Kat features a brooch on here. But honestly I don’t usually see women under 50 wear them very often in the real world.

    • BankrAtty :

      I’m in my (late, ahem) 20s and I wear brooches, usually with a simple dress or on a scarf. I have a sort of retro-modern style (???), which may make a difference…

    • I love pins and brooches. FWIW, I’m 32. I think the trick is to not wear them in ways that are entirely predictable and to keep the brooches themselves interesting. For instance, I have a very little pewter frog with jeweled eye that I wear on a peacoat lapel, and I always get compliments on it. I also like wide pins to fasten a wrap cardigan on the side, or to cinch a looser cardigan in the back.

      For sources: Jcrew sometimes has cute ones (though not right now); the Met Museum Shop;and Brooks Brothers (though also not at the moment); as well as thrift and vintage stores, of course. You can likely also find a lot of interesting ones on Etsy.

  12. Senior Attorney paging DTLArette :

    Argh. Just as I was investigating how to get to Seven Grand via the Gold Line, I got a phone call and my 90-year-old mom is in the hospital! I need to go see what’s going on so I will miss the festivities! I am super heartbroken and hope we can make it another time.

    • DTLA rette :

      We definitely missed you, but a lovely time was had, and we are planning to do it again in the brunching hour :) if anyone else would like to come, please email me at this handle at gmail.

    • Silvercurls :

      Sending good thoughts to you and your mom. I hope she’s soon well enough to go home–and that you have minimal healthcare system aggravation along the way!

  13. No sleep and high stress :

    I work a high stress high anxiety job with on call work a minimum of 2-4 evenings a week (I have done 7 straight nights and both sat and Sunday before). I am five months pregnant.

    I want to negotiate a drop in my work. I don’t want to be on call at night during pregnancy, I want to work 60 hours a week (down from 75-80). I want a guaranteed lunch break ever day (doesn’t even have to be at lunch). I would like to be less stressed and to get more help at work (my assistant left for maternity leave last fall and was not replaced by someone with equal qualifications) My job hasn’t had this situation occur with a professional being pregnant so I have no one to ask.

    Is there any likelihood of this happening or should I look for new employment? Any advice from anyone who has been here before?

    • You should at least ask. I suppose the worst they can do is say no (and in that case, I think you should find another job). This doesn’t sound very good for your pregnancy health.

      Maybe I’m wrong, but don’t you have to be allowed a lunch break during a certain number of hours (I think 8)? I can’t believe you don’t have a lunch break.

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