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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 173 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Three-Quarter Sleeve Drape Neck Dress (and: Deal Alert!)

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Big Sales at Pendleton -- this cotton, washable dress was $138, now $37!Readers continually sing the praises of Pendleton for wellmade workwear, and they're having a pretty great sale right now, with prices up to 70% off. For today's TPS Report I'm liking this cotton/modal/spandex, machine washable drape-neck dress — it was $148 but is now marked to $37. I would probably try it in a petite first, since the dress hits just a bit long on the model for my tastes, but I love that color (I know, surprise surprise), and I think the drape neck, waist-defining tucks and shirring are flattering. It's available in regular and petites for $37. Pendleton Three-Quarter Sleeve Drape Neck Dress A few other great pieces: Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]. (L-all)

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Comments

  1. Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie

    Do any of you ladies have experience with Junior League? I moved to Omaha last summer from the East Coast and have made some incredible friends. I still want to put myself out there and get involved with the community more. I thought this would be a good way to do so. I just attended the new member meeting and thought everyone seemed really nice. I just wanted to see if any of you ladies are members or could give me some insight. Thanks!

    • Scout

      I’m a member of the Junior League! This year was my new member year and I’ve had a great experience so far. At first it can come off a little “sorority.” And I guess I’m not trying to mean that in a derogatory way, I’ve just never been in one and it was a new experience for me. But it’s a great way to meet people and it’s been fun to get involved in the community.

      It’s been kinda a lot lately with work and the commitments and while I feel like some of the other women try to understand not all have super demanding jobs so they don’t necessarily get it.

      But I hope you join!

    • DontBlameTheKids

      A good friend of mine is in the DC Junior League, and she loves it. Honestly, she was the last person I ever thought would join…I thought it was just snobby people drinking tea, but apparently that’s not it at all! Based on her experiences, I would say go for it.

    • Amelia Earhart

      Erin,

      How do you like Omaha? I might be looking at making a move there! I’m from the East.

      • Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie

        Oh exciting! I love it here. The people are so friendly, there’s so much to do, and the cost of living is so low. We’re able to have an amazing standard of living at a fraction of the cost of my friends back East. I feel like Omaha is such a well-kept secret. My husband and I are planning on living here for the long haul. I don’t know where you are at your stage of life but it’s rated one of the best places in the country to be single, to be a young professional, to raise a family, and to retire.

      • Molly

        Amelia,

        I grew up in Omaha and currently live here (and I am friends with Erin IRL). I would second everything she said (although I might be biased, I have done quite a bit of travelling, so do have a basis for comparison). We have tons of restaurants, sporting events, theater shows, and concerts. The economy here is also fantastic. Let Erin know if you end up here. We would be happy to show you around!

    • ADL

      I’m a member of the Junior League. If you want to volunteer in your community, at a wide variety of organizations, then yes, join the League. Not only will you get to meet people (social aspect), you’ll also get to work at organizations and interact others you probably never would have otherwise if it hadn’t been for the League.

      (And sorry, I hit report when I meant to hit reply – too close together!)

    • Anon Mom

      Yes — veteran of a few leagues (incl JL of Washington, which I highly recommend; it’s about half lawyers). Me and Sandra Day O’Conner are leaguers, I’d say to the haters (and the guys at work). If it’s OK for Sandra Day, I figured it was good enough for me (and she really represented — iirc, she was the president of the JL of Phoenix).

    • DC Wonkette

      I have to admit, I’m a Junior League dropout. It’s mostly because I didn’t have the time to really invest in the community, so everything felt like an obligation and took away time with my existing friends. That being said, I could see myself revisiting this decision in the future — it just wasn’t the right time in my life.

      • Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie

        That totally makes sense. I’m hoping since my husband and I are young and don’t have kids yet now will be a good time. Ive heard the time commitments are a lot but I figure if I’m volunteering with friends it’ll be easy to make time.

        • mascot

          The time commitments will vary with placement. I also like that some years you can opt for an in-league placement over a community placement. It really is a great organization for trying out leadership roles and learning how to manage people and run meetings. Those skills are really valuable and not always taught in the workplace.

    • MegB

      I was an active member in the Palo Alto Mid Peninsula league for 10 years and am still a sustainer. It was a great way to meet other interesting and engaged women. Time commitments vary depending on the placement you choose. There’s something for everyone. I loved it and recommend it highly.

    • LeagueDropout

      Some leagues are better run than others, so do choose wisely. I quit at the end of my first year because mine was totally dysfunctional, losing money, making panicked reactive decisions, and complacent about continually reinventing the wheel. That said, I’d probably join again in a new city. Things to look for…
      – first year actives aren’t routinely in charge of mission critical committees
      – a budget surplus
      – volunteering opportunities that make a real difference (instead of making the volunteers feel good)
      That said, knowing Omaha it’s probably not only well run but also filled with just the nicest people you will ever meet :)

    • Celia

      Definitely try the Junior League. As others have said, some are better run than others, but you won’t really know until you try it. I moved from one very well-run league to a not-so well-run league (gee, Anon, same one as you?), and I also reactivated to join the Board to help with some important administrative reforms. You learn so much about your community as well as yourself: what are your strengths, what do you enjoy, etc. I’m not so keen on volunteering in the community, but I do enjoy administration and fund-raising. They need people like me just as much as the community organizers.

  2. DontBlameTheKids

    I have a very stupid problem, but would like some input. I’m a huge DVF fan, and combined a gift card with the F&F event last week to buy a really pretty blue and white dress…yes, the same one that is now completely sold out thanks to Duchess Kate. (Apparently the Duchess doesn’t have to wait for pre-order! Mine isn’t supposed to arrive until May.) I really don’t want people to think I bought it to copy Kate, and I also don’t like the idea of wearing a dress that everyone will easily recognize. Also? Everyone and their mother now has my dress!

    Should I return it? Sell it on eBay? Wait a year and then wear it? Suck it up and stop whining? Boo.

    • Em

      I don’t think most people follow the Duchess’s clothes that carefully; I mean, enough to sell the dress out, sure, but not so many that you’re likely to run into a lot of them in real life. Maybe I’m just hopelessly out of it though.

      • Anon

        I would second this. I have no idea what dress this is, but I am not particularly fashion-conscious. Kate is very classy though, so I think if someone did make the association it would be a positive one. I would say keep the dress.

    • Susedna

      Seconding, thirding the opinions that say to rock that dress!

      I think only the person who does the slideshow of the Duchess’ wardrobe Hits and Misses for the Daily Telegraph will know that you’re wearing a dress seen in one of her public appearances. ;-)

      • Scout

        I just g o o gled the dress- it’s gorgeous and I’m a total internet stalker of Kate’s wardrobe and if I saw you in it I wouldn’t connect that she wore it. I’d just think that you have great taste.

      • Anastasia

        Although I’ve been known to pull up a slideshow of the Duchess’s fashion, I legitimately saw a picture of her in that dress when I was reading the news on BBC… and totally coveted it. If I’d already pre-ordered, there’s no way I would get rid of it! It’s a gorgeous dress – rock it!

    • LizNYC

      If anyone says to you, “Didn’t Kate wear that?” you can honestly say you bought it before she was seen wearing it (even if you didn’t receive it before then). That makes you the stylish one ;)

      I don’t think all that many people would even recognize this as a dress she’s worn. I don’t think I even would and I’m a closeted Kate fan who *may* be checking every day to see what’s she’s wearing. (It’s not like it’s the “banana” dress she wore a few days ago.)

      • Sadie

        I don’t think I’d say “I bought it first”…sounds weird to me, like you really care who bought it first. (Just me though, if it feels fine to you , do it!)

        First of all, neither I nor anyone I know have the first idea what any of Kate’s clothes were besides the wedding dress and that blue dress she left the hospital in, because they both were *everywhere*. So I agree that you probably actually won’t see that many people who even realize that. If anyone asks if Kate wore that, I’d probably either just say “yep!” or “did she? It’s a great dress!”

        • LizNYC

          I meant if the person was saying it in a condescending tone, like “you Royal copycat, you jumped on the bandwagon, didn’t you.”

          I agree, both Don’tBlame and Kate have great fashion sense! Now if only I could get the same clothing allowance Kate has…

    • NYC recommendations?

      Love the dress – and understand your concern, but I genuinely think most people won’t know.

    • Miss Behaved

      Dude, the Kate and Will tour has been one of the things that has made me happy this week (long story). I think that dress is gorgeous, as is the yellow one and the beautiful white eyelet one from yesterday.

      Even if you did buy it because she wore it, I’d be impressed. I’d buy it if I had the money. I’m also loving all her wedges and her beautiful coats. And the fun activities like yachting and coaching children to play rugby. And baby George is adorable.

      Wear it and rock on!

      • Anon

        Posted too fast – I mean who cares if she has it too, anything that’s not custom by a major designer will be worn by lots of people including celebrities.

    • Nellie

      If you still like the dress and it ends up fitting and looking good, wear it. But, if for whatever reason you’re not terribly attached to it, you might be able to make a profit from royal-watches selling it on ebay (especially if you market it that way, with photo) — and then you can but yourself another DVF in another pattern!

    • Anon Mom

      I have a DVF wrap dress. When my child was getting baptised, I thought it would be a great dress to wear. So pretty! Ultimately, the baby (more a toddler by then) was squirmy. And it wasn’t anything that God hadn’t seen before.

      So, I applaud Kate for wearing this with a child of that age. Even today, it’s a Shemie and fashion tape (neither involved in the baptism mishap) before heading to an office job.

      Well done in the maternal wardrobe dressing department.

    • anon

      FWIW, I bought the LK Bennett sledge pumps she wears because she wears them – not so much to copycat (I think she’s elegant), but I figured if they’re comfortable enough for public appearances, they’d probably work for my life. Best purchase ever. If someone’s getting style advice professionally, no harm in taking a page from their book.

  3. BB

    TJ: Jewelry shopping help!

    One of the secretaries in my company has been super helpful to me in the past year (she doesn’t work for me). I wanted to get her a thank you gift. There is a necklace I own that she compliments every single time I wear it and I thought it would be nice to get a similar one for her. The one I own was purchased on vacation and I can’t get it online from the retailer.

    The necklace is a geometric pendant in two shades of blue. There are three trapezoids linked together into a 1″x 3″ shape where the middle one is dark blue and the side ones are lighter blue. Everything is on a silver base. Sorry, it’s kind of difficult to describe!

    I’m looking for something similar: geometric, non-circular, colorful, medium sized pendant (so not a bib necklace). I’m hoping to spend around $50-75, so decent quality, but not bank breaking.

  4. NYC recommendations?

    I’m searching through the archives as well, but wanted to ask if anyone had any recommendation.

    We are in NY today and tomorrow – it’s chillier than I expected so I’m not as excited to do some of the outside sightseeing I had planned.

    Just want to walk around, eat, duck into shops, stay open to (inexpensive-ish) things to do.

    Today’s thoughts include late breakfast at Veselke, cheese plate and snacks later at Artisinal, maybe walk around Eataly at some point. (Can you tell we like to eat?!). We are staying in Tribeca so will probably take a look at a map and see what route makes the most sense. Just want to find some other interesting stuff along the way. I will keep doing my research but always find the recommendations here to be on point. Thanks!

    • Susedna

      If you want to pop into a small, friendly shop with a nice selection of handicrafts from Japan (great gifts if you want to get any for people, or just fun to look), try:

      Kiteya Soho
      464 Broome St
      (between Mercer St & Greene St)

      And while you’re in Soho, pop into the Calypso Celle outlet (I think it’s called Calypso Au Marche) – great clothes for summer or a tropical vacation.
      426 Broome St
      between Lafayette St & Crosby St

      • NYC recommendations?

        Love the idea of that shop – adding it to our list!

        Forgot to mention that I’d love to find a place with a great view – was thinking a bar, for an afternoon break – but would be interested in anything – just trying to avoid Empire State Building and TOtR.

        Also want to rope my husband into getting a pedicure with me. Any rec’s for a place he might not feel out of place? I think he’d prefer a more no-frills place as opposed to someplace fancy.

        • Susedna

          Go to Kinokuniya, a Japanese bookstore facing Bryant Park.

          On the 2nd floor of the bookstore, there’s a cafe with bar seating that overlooks Bryant Park. You can see the frenetic activity of the city below you, while you take a sip of tea, and a bite of your perfect little pastry or cake or sandwich. Japanese delis rock! Everything’s very affordable, including lunch or snack options. Get a bento box! The staff there are super nice. :-)

          Kinokuniya
          1073 Avenue of the Americas (“really, it’s just 6th Avenue)
          Between 40th and 41st streets.

          • Ellen

            Or the TOP OF THE ROCK! YAY!!!! FRUEGEL FRIDAY’s! I got close’d on a new WC account today–a very large supermarket chain in NYC that my freind told me to call. I get the first load of 18 case’s to have them try me out. We promised my 93% sucess rate and they are excited b/c they’re current firm usueally just settel’s most of the case’s and they wind up paying out alot of money. I told them I know the judge (in Manhattan) where most of their case’s are) and he love’s me and my red dresse’s. So they said I could take 18, which will be sent over today, and I have alot of work to do b/c some of the case’s have been sitteing around and they have been paying sick pay to peeople while they’re cases are PENDING. FOOEY I said. We will get them OFF the payroll (disability payroll that is) ASAP b/c I can get alot of these dismissed.

            The manageing partner is very happy b/c he know’s this could represent up to 1/3 of my annual billeings if it grow’s and I do a good job, so he said that I could take the afternoon off and just come in early on Sunday morning to review the case file’s if the firm deliver’s them here by close of business. YAY!!!!!!!

          • hellskitchen

            For a good view, I love the revolving bar way more than Empire State or Top of the Rock.

        • Kathryn

          I love Trevi nails, if you happen to be around 40th/Lexington. I go out of my way to get my nails done there. I see a lot of business men come in for manis and pedis.

          • NOLA

            I’m at my regular nail salon right now and there’s a guy here getting a pedi with his very pregnant wife. it’s sweet!

        • Pink

          Iris nails on 3rd Ave and 21st is no frills (not pink, no girly chatter) but does a great pedi! (my color is still shiny and awesome 1.5 months later… i really need to go in and get it redone because it’s halfway grown out)

          From tribeca, you can saunter up to soho and pop into shops there. Since it’s not warm and not a weekend, it shoudln’t be too bad. you can grab coffee at la colombe before your walk, and when you get pooped out share a dessert at lauduree or dominique ansel.

        • ABC

          The lobby lounge at the Mandarin Oriental near Columbus Circle has an amazing view!! It is my go-to place to take out of town guests for afternoon/evening drinks.

    • AIMS

      Eataly has a nice rooftop beer garden that is enclosed in colder weather so you can enjoy the views while still staying cozy.

      One of my favorite shops to pop into (even though I almost never buy anything) is ABC Home & Carper which is along your route — Broadway & 19th (but go into the furniture & home goods side, not just the rugs, which are awesome but boring). It’s like a home goods store from a fairy tale. You can basically take a route along Broadway to head up meandering on and off, starting with, for instance, West Broadway through Soho and then heading east to Broadway and then walking along Lafayette before heading West through Union Sq….

      Cute places on the way: Anthropologie on W. Broadway & Spring (ish); Pearl River Mart (Broadway & Broom — super adorable stuff, lots of great non-cheesy souvenirs); MOMA Gift Shop (Spring and Lafayette, I think); Strand Book Store (12th Street and Broadway); there’s also a bunch of really cute little boutiques on 9th street heading east towards Tomkins Sq Park (past Veselka), including a magic shop called Enchantments, if you’re into that sort of thing.

      And hopefully the weather perks up. The sun’s just come out!

    • LizNYC

      If you’re walking up from downtown, you can hit up CB2, Muji, Bloomingdale’s Soho, or any one of those stores on Broadway. If either of you have a nerdy/geeky side, there’s Forbidden Planet on Broadway at 12th Street (look for the Captain America door handles). It’s right past The Strand bookstore, which shouldn’t be as crowded today as it would be on a Saturday.

  5. People's Republic

    For my $.02, I think most people have no idea what DK wears. I know she’s a fashion leader, but *in general* most people are going to think you look lovely in a lovely dress, and will not associate back to the Duch. Maybe I’m wrong on this one (and just making excuses for being totally not tuned in).

    That said, you can probably make a boat load on eBay from someone who is dying to have the things Kate wears. So, if you don’t love the dress or the fit or you don’t want the association or to have something lots of people now have, I’m sure you’ll make several multiples of what you paid. And with that, you can get a new dress and shoes, too!

    • hoola hoopa

      I’d get an M. I’m a curvy 6 and get S, which fits really nicely for work. Not too tight, but not too baggy. I size down in their boxy tees because I have narrow shoulders and am okay with some umph around the bust because I use them for layering at work.

  7. Imposter?

    I am a litigator in mid-law, 10 years into my career. I don’t make it to court all that often, which is a good thing, because to say I don’t enjoy it would be an understatement. It freaks me the F out. I feel anxiety for days/weeks leading up to simple hearings. I have tried to pinpoint exactly what it is about court that I hate, and all I can come up with is fear of being judged (ha! litigation was a great career choice!), hating public speaking, fear of being wrong or put on the spot, etc.

    Rationally, I know I’ll be just fine, and people have even told me I’m good at this stuff. I otherwise feel like people view me as a fairly confident, well put-together chick. I am a partner at my firm and clients like me. Depositions, mediations, even contentious telephone calls with opposing counsel don’t faze me. It might be the kind of thing where going to court more often will make it less “scary,” but unfortunately (or fortunately for my anxiety levels), I just don’t get that many opportunities to do so.

    I have several hearings coming up in the next couple of months and my mind races every time I think of them. Any tips/strategies for drowning out the voice in my head that tells me I’m going to massively mess these up and be a failure? I know I just have to “fake it” as far as getting through the darn things (no one in my office knows how internally stressed I get about these things), but I’m hoping to not be a mess on the inside until they’re behind me.

    • Bonnie

      I love litigation work and I still get very nervous before opening statements and the higher profile portions of trials. So some of that nervousness never goes away, no matter how much experience you get. A couple things that calm my nerves:
      – arriving early
      – being uber prepared. Everything I bring into the courtroom is labeled and in a binder. My goal is to be able to find anything in my trial boxes within 5 seconds.
      – never looking at the people in the gallery

      Good luck!

    • Sacha

      If you can possibly spend a little time in court on hearing/trial days — just take two or three half-days over the next few months — to watch other lawyers, you may find that people mess up, stutter, forget documents, etc. in court all the time and still come out just fine. And you may learn a few tricks to emulate, as well. This may sound terrible, but really, the more I watch other people do it, the better I feel about my own skills.
      Also, +1 to the idea that you will probably always get nervous. I’m in your shoes, and I certainly do. But I had a very seasoned litigator as an adjunct professor in law school who said she vomited before every trial and big hearing. But she went on and kicked butt all the time.

      • Sadie

        This. The adjunct (male) who taught my moot court/mock trial in said he loses 5 pounds in EVERY trial because he can barely eat without vomiting he’s so nervous. And he’s a criminal defense attorney so he is in trial all.the.time. I think it’s normal!

      • ORD

        I had a colleague who also could not eat before going to court because he’d vomit. He ended up going in-house, which I think was a good move for him. My clerkship taught me not to fear being in court, because I saw so many terrible lawyers and knew I could at least be average or above average. That said, I lost my hearing after my clerkship but have persisted as a trial lawyer with a cochlear implant that provides me with far-from-perfect hearing. So when I’m in court, I’m mostly stressed out that I’m going to miss something, that the judge is getting pissed b/c I need her to repeat things, that I’ll miss the chance to object, etc. I think my courtroom skills are good, but this stresses me out. Just to say, don’t go thinking that everyone else in the courtroom is feeling carefree about being there; we all have our issues.

        • Anonymous

          I agree with this – as a law clerk, I see terrible lawyers on a regular basis. The fact that you get nervous and want to do well means you will do better that many attorneys I see. The bar (ha!) isn’t as high as it seems, and you should remind yourself that you’ve received good feedback. Politeness to opposing counsel, sincere but not pushover-level deference to the court, and candor will get you out of any sticky situation I’ve seen.

      • Dulcinea

        Yes, I had a clinic professor who told me something like, “You should always be nervous before a hearing because you know that something important is at stake and client is counting on you. That’s the right reason to be nervous. But you should never be nervous because you’re unprepared.” So….I always remind myself of this when I am nervous before arguments and it helps somehow.

    • Senior Attorney

      I don’t have any suggestions beyond the good ones you’ve received already, so I’ll just pass on something my therapist said to me many years ago: you picked a good profession for working on your issues! ;)

    • RR

      I’m also a litigator, roughly the same point in my career as you, although it sounds like I’ve probably done more trial work. I’ve first chaired a handful of jury trials, a bunch of bench trials, second chaired a bunch of stuff, etc. All that to say–I still get nervous every time I go to court. And I know 30 year partners who are nationally known trial lawyers who are still nervous every time they go to court. I think you should be. That means you are doing it right.

      So, I handle it with a combination of (1) knowing that the nervousness is normal for all of us and probably makes us better; and (2) telling myself it’s okay to be nervous, but I have to do it anyway. Sounds like you are doing both and rocking it.

    • ezt

      Do you like the way you feel during and after you’re done with trial/ oral argument? I get horribly nervous beforehand, too, but it tends to dissipate when I’m actually speaking in court, and I usually get a huge rush afterward. So I try to focus on the knowledge that my nervousness is just the precursor to those other, more awesome feelings.

    • Imposter?

      Thanks all for the helpful comments. I did clerk right after law school, but for a federal appellate court, where the attorneys were largely very competent (way more competent than I feel up there!).

      I need to remind myself about some of the performances I have seen in courtrooms, and remember that being prepared (over-prepared) is probably the best way to channel that nervousness. I do think I feel a sense of relief/accomplishment afterward, but I go so infrequently that it’s hard to remember those feelings in advance.

      I know that if any of the young associates came to me with these fears, I would tell them that their fears are completely normal and they will do great. It’s hard to take your own advice sometimes. :)

    • l2fly

      About two years after law school, after a brief stint in civil, I took a government position in criminal law. After 20 trials & 6 years, during a significant lifer retrial, I nearly had a melt-down. After that trial, even though I was successful, I really had a crisis of faith, that I was not in the right field, that I should start looking into something else. I spoke to my mentor (a judge, that used to be in my field) about how I felt, and she gave me one piece of advice I’ve held close to this day: give yourself permission not to be perfect. Because you aren’t, no one is. Do your best and be proud of your efforts, and everything you do to the best of your ability.

  8. Susedna

    I’ve been out and about and missed the thread yesterday (?) about the political discussions in the workplace where you’re don’t share the same views or beliefs as the majority of your coworkers.

    I just wanted to add that sometimes, it’s good to engage people who are spewing disinformation or trading in broad stereotypes. Perhaps you’ll be able to change that person’s mind, but the odds are slim. My reason for (politely, respectfully) engaging these folks and expressing disagreement or presenting contradictory evidence is that 9 times out of 10, there’s a young person who’s a new-ish hire, in some very junior role where s/he doesn’t feel empowered to speak about anything, but is sitting there listening with wide eyes and open ears.

    I have the hope that I can reach that young’un.

    Regardless of what that young person’s political beliefs are, what I really want him or her to take away is that: Yes, you can disagree, and you can do it respectfully.

    • Silvercurls

      “Regardless of what that young person’s political beliefs are, what I really want him or her to take away is that: Yes, you can disagree, and you can do it respectfully.”

      +1,000. Great point. And maybe the more people realize this the more it will help all of us find that (mythical? elusive? I hope not) common ground in our commonly being human.

      • hoola hoopa

        It really is a great point. I’d add that it’s not even necessarily a younger person. I think it’s good for even those of us who are solidly into our adult years.

    • SoCalAtty

      Such a good point. Sometimes people post things on social media that are just factually wrong. I generally will take a minute and do a little research and post a few fact-based, informative links and just put the information out there. This week, I’ve been called weird and stupid for suggesting that 1) there might be more to this Bundy / Nevada thing than meets the eye, and I’d like to see some of the original pleadings and property documents before I make a decision and 2) it would be a good idea to curb governmental waste because, regardless of what you think the “found money” should be spent on, it would be nice to have.

      I think more people need to be exposed to “constructive disagreement” – where you can talk about facts and concepts and either agree or not, and not be angry or defensive about it. I think it is this kind of constructive dialogue that is going to be SO necessary in the coming years. The US has some real problems ahead, and this petty partisan road-blocking stuff has got to stop.

      Sigh. Sorry, this is something I’m really passionate about!

  9. Easter Bonnet

    Well, it wasn’t that many years ago (the late 1980s) that it was ok and fashionable to wear them!

    So what are we wearing this year to services, brunches, get togethers, etc?

    I’ll start

    periwinkle fit-and-flare jersey dress (talbots)
    pink cardi (AT or Halogen, depends on weather)
    mauve spotted ponyhair mary janes (Pour La V.)
    bangles
    statement necklace

    Will be wishing I had sneakers with me though…a long night ahead!

    • NOLA

      It hardly matters what I wear for Easter services because I wear a robe for both services and am helping to serve breakfast for 35-40 people in between so I usually take a cute apron to wear over my dress.

      That said, I’ll probably wear the Soma wrapped waist dress in folklore floral and either a pink or purple cardigan. Not sure which shoes. Normally I’d wear my Michael Kors York mary janes in purple with that outfit, but they may be too high for up and down at church and standing (lots and lots of singing – we’re doing all of the Messiah Easter choruses plus some solos) and running up and down the stairs in between. So maybe some red patent peep toe mary janes that are lower if I can get a pedi today!

      Your outfit sounds adorable.

      • In the Pink

        I tip my hat to you, Nola. Been there done that for many decades in the past. Now I’m trying to figure out how to stay awake in the pews…totally different energy and alterness level between observing vs. singing and dashing around. Love your idea of the bright shoes…that shoebedo place seemed just right for a pair of stunning sandals to celebrate spring. Hope you’re not getting all the pollen that we’ve been having here in H-Town to your West…been a long spring of that, but with what all the gals have had with Old Man Winter all year and lingering on, I’ve got no room to complain. Happy Easter to you, NOLA. Halleluiah indeed!

        • NOLA

          Awww… I’ve been doing this forever, although I took over coordinating the breakfast a few years ago when my dear friend “retired.” It also seems like we’ve amped up the music in the past few years. I usually slip out during the sermon of the first service to meet with the volunteers watching over stuff in the ovens but I have no idea whether I can do that this year, given everything we’re singing and how I might be trapped in the balcony with the string and wind players. I asked the director to seat my by the door but who knows. Thankfully, I have great volunteers!

          We are getting a ton of pollen. Oak pollen in piles. Before zora came, I was out on the porch wiping down the furniture and vacuuming up the pollen every couple of days! My screened porch is off of my guest room and the weather was beautiful so she was able to leave the door open but that means a lot of pollen.

          I’ll have to wear shoes I have since I can’t buy shoes until after Easter (gave it up for Lent) but I have lots to choose from.

          • In the Pink

            Yeah, one day I thought it was raining and it really was all those tassels blowing down. Thought we were just about done when the latest storms brought stuff in from the west! Hope you didn’t get socked with it. At least sweeping is better than shoveling snow…

            I am sure you’ll be well rewarded with great things after your shoe fast. Better to wear known and broken in shoes for all those hours anyway, I rationalize.

            Neat that you are in with the strings and winds, but I hope that’s alongside and not in front of them! You must have a big area for the music; how wonderful a way to celebrate. Halleluiah indeed!

          • zora

            but it was AWESOME to sit out on her cute little balcony and enjoy the fresh air and pet the kitty cat!! It was hands down the best place to stay in all of New Orleans! ;o)

          • NOLA

            Turns out I have totally cute Michael Kors cork wedges in orangey tan that I forgot about. they look great with my dress. And I found a dark periwinkle cardigan in a box under my bed.

      • zora

        I was DYING looking at all the amazing easter hats in the shops in New Orleans. I want All. Of. Them. even though I’m not even Christian and I don’t celebrate Easter. Can I just wear them for everyday??? Please say yes

    • Diana Barry

      I don’t know what to wear – I never have any nice church clothes any more, only business clothes (which are mostly pants). Maybe I will try to get a dress in the next 2 days.

      • hoola hoopa

        Me, too. I’ve been shopping for church/wedding clothes because I realized mine had all expired. Haven’t bought anything yet, though, because I forgot I needed something for Easter.

        I’ll be in a dark plum shift dress and pink sweater with pink tone pearls. Or a tan/cream abstract print linen skirt, pink sweater, and pink/gold vintage jewelry.

    • Anastasia

      On my way to work this morning, I passed NY & Co and one of the manequins was wearing this dress: http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/dresses/floral-fit-flare-dress/A-prod450012/#.U1FCbvm-URU.

      I’m stopping on my way home to try it on, and if it fits well, that’s my Easter dress! I’ll have to play with accessories once I get home, but I really like the idea of the minty green belt it’s styled with on the model.

      If that dress doesn’t work out, my fall-back plan is the Suzi Chin for Maggy faux wrap dress in teal. Statement necklace, wedge sandals, yellow cardigan.

      I love Easter. I just realized I don’t have an appropriate Easter outfit for my baby (boy, no cute Easter hats, boo), though…

      • Easter Bonnet

        What a georgeous dress. You must tell us about quality, weight and length next week! What about combining the minty green with navy accessories? Love your teal and yellow alternative combo though. I like to do 3 colors, so I’d add on some purple or blue in similar intensities…would realy tie into a peacocky sort of outfit I think… Easter bleessings to you and that little chickadee.

    • anonypotamus

      I splurged and bought a beautiful mint fit and flare dress from Reiss a few weeks ago after seeing another Reiss dress posted here. My first order from them. I love love love mint and am looking forward to dressing up in fun spring-y non-work clothes :)

    • cbackson

      A green and pink Lilly Pulitzer sundress, with a gold belt for services. For family brunch (at home), probably peach pedal pushers, navy Sperrys, and a blue flowered popover blouse from J. Crew.

    • NbyNW

      I’m wearing one of the Suzi Chin faux-wrap dresses in a purple/turquoise print with a turquoise-bead statement necklace, black Cole Haan peep-toed slingbacks and a cropped cardigan over if it’s cold.

  10. Ivory wrap for bridesmaids

    TJ for shopping help. I’d like to buy ivory wraps for my bridesmaids to wear at my wedding (under $50), and would love input as to where I can get a good quality wrap for the $$ (and input as to the best materials to look for).

    It may be cool in the evenings, so I’d like a wrap that is actually warm (i.e., not just linen). But not itchy. Ideas? Thanks so much!

    • NOLA

      I was going to suggest the Nordstrom linen blend wrap. I have it in three colors and I find it warm enough for what you describe. But, they don’t have as many colors as they usually do and there isn’t one in ivory.

      Macy’s has the Jones New York Satin Pashmina Wrap in ivory. It has great reviews on their site.

      • rosie

        I was going to suggest the Macy’s everyday value one, which I think is the one NOLA mentioned. I believe it’s $25.

    • Lili316

      I bought ivory wraps for my bridesmaids a few years back off of Etsy. There’s a ton of different sellers with similar items. I also had each monogrammed in a similar thread color so as not to contrast too much with the wrap, and the results were great.

      • I am a banana.

        From the perspective of a semi-professional bridesmaid/MOH, this is a lovely idea.

  11. Ikebana vases...

    So, I know nothing about ikebana vases except that my lovely MIL-to-be covets one (but thinks they’re too expensive to buy herself). She’s doing the flowers for our wedding and I’d love to get her a vase as a (surprise) thank you gift. Ideally, I’d like to get a vase from a location in the SF Bay Area, where she lives, so she can return/exchange if needed.

    Any recommendations for places to look? Or what to look for in a vase? I know nothing about ikebana myself but would like to get her something that is high-quality and versatile.

    • Susedna

      Every time my MIL travels to SF for work or play, she visits Gump’s and finds me something nice from there. Perhaps they’d have something like that?

      • buffybot

        Was just going to reply to suggest Gump’s. Seems like a thing they would have — they typically have an assortment of Asian art pieces. And if they didn’t, I bet if you called the store they could suggest somewhere else that might.

    • I am a banana.

      Check out Heath Ceramics? They’re kind of an SF icon, even if they don’t have what you’re looking for I’m sure they could point you in the right direction.

    • anonness

      Japantown should have ikebana vases … there’s at least two furniture stores on each side of the mall that would seem like the right kind of place to have it.

  12. Parfait

    We had a really lovely Downtown LA meetup last night! It was small but mighty, and we will be doing it again. We were all sorry Senior Attorney couldn’t make it at the last minute. I hope all is well.

    • Senior Attorney

      Aw, thanks. Mom thought she was having a stroke but it turns out she is just very old and in a lot of pain from arthritis. She was moved to a rehab facility last night and I’m there with her now, waiting to talk to the doc. I’m hoping they can get her some good pain management because she’s been in a bad way for a while and resisting treatment. But… This is hard. Gah.

      Hope to get another chance to meet you ladies!

      • Silvercurls

        Yeesh, but thanks for the update. Hopefully dealing with a long-term chronic condition will be less stressful for both of you than facing a huge medical crisis + its ongoing side effects.

        Maybe you can find some info or vicarious moral support from reading the blog “The New Old Age” on the Health page at nytimes(dot)com? I found this resource when someone close to me (emotionally, not geographically)faced a health crisis. It’s hard to watch when being older gets hard for people about whom one cares.

      • Frugal doc..

        Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. People with arthritis get in a vicious cycle of poor pain control, then less moving/walking/exercise due to the pain, which then makes the arthritis worse.

        Get your Mom into a serious rehab program, starting as inpatient and continuing as an outpatient, for her arthritis. It should last AT LEAST 1-2 months, in total. And push her to DO HER EXERCISE when she gets home. Most give up on it, unfortunately. And use your visits as excuses to get her moving… even a walk across the room, then maybe a walk down the block, then maybe a walk around a park…

        Use this valuable time when she is inpatient to optimize all of her medical issues. Get a good palliative care or pain doctor helping with her pain and find an excellent rheumatologist to be following her arthritis long term. You really can do well with arthritis if you are on the right combination of anti-inflammatories (there are even creams and patches if she is avoiding pills), occasional injections into painful joints, even hip/knee replacement if needed… but most importantly… continuing to get exercise.

        It is time to be blunt with your Mom… or hopefully she has a good doctor that she trusts or that she likes in rehab who will kick her in the butt. You have to get moving, or you are giving up. If pain medicine helps you get moving, then USE IT, with the goal of decreasing it as you get better.

        Also, this may be a time to look at your Mom to see if she is becoming depressed. This is so so common as people get older with chronic medical problems. It is very easy to start treatment while she is in rehab. Even better… some medicines can help with pain AND mood… so you can ask the doctors to think about this. I cannot emphasize this enough. If you are depressed, it makes your pain worse, and you don’t want to walk/get out, and then your pain gets worse….

        Thank you for taking care of your Mom.

        • Senior Attorney

          Thank you so much for this!

          Turns out she also has a compression fracture in her spine so I don’t really know how that’s going to affect her rehab.

          Great point about the depression. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before because now that I think back, I think she’s been depressed for a while (as who wouldn’t be, with all that pain?).

          • Frugal doc

            Absolutely. Who wouldn’t be depressed? That’s why it is critical to treat all at once…. One good thing is that exercise also improves mood. Finding the right therapy/exercise based on what she can do and what she likes is key.

            But I’m also concerned with her compression fracture. Does she have osteoporosis and is that being treated sufficiently? Sorry, I know you have a lot on your plate, but this is a good thing to discuss and work up while she still is at rehab.

      • SoCalAtty

        We missed you! Good luck with mom – it is a really, really hard thing to go through that but you are awesome for being there!

        We’ll plan another one soon

  13. LilyB

    Just realized that last night might have been the last episode EVER of Parenthood… how did you guys feel about it? Personally I loved it but I’m so sad that it might be over forever. The only plotline I wasn’t thrilled about was Drew/Natalie, but mostly because I was wondering where poor Aimee fit into the equation…

    • LH

      Despite the fact that I hated most of the storylines this season, I cried a ton last night. I started crying at Ryan and Amber’s moment and basically never stopped. I’ll be disappointed if it was a series finale though – it left a lot of stuff unresolved. And I thought a lot of characters (Natalie and Joel especially) did an unexplained total 180.

      • LilyB

        do you think the implication of the drugstore scene is that Amber tried to get pregnant as a way to stay connected with Ryan? It was like, a day or two after they had slept together, so there’s no way she would have suspected she was pregnant otherwise, right?

        • LH

          That was the most random and confusing part of the episode for me. I took it as she got caught up in the moment, didn’t use protection and then was nervous afterward (why not get Plan B though?) but your theory makes sense too. Obviously way too soon for her to have a missed period unless the show made an unannounced time jump.

  14. LH

    Does Talbot’s ever do 25%, 30% or 40% discounts on full price items like Banana and Ann Taylor? I really like their new spring line and want to buy some stuff, but full price is a lot more than I usually spend.

    • Cat

      yes – 25-30% is fairly common, though you might have to wait through a sales cycle or 2 (like, one week it might be spring dresses and cardigans on promo, the next week, pants). Definitely wait for a sale.

  15. Carrie

    Deodorant/antiperspirant advice?

    I have been wanting to move away from my life-long use of Secret to something more “natural” that wont damage/stain my clothes and doesn’t contain Aluminum. Any favorites out there?

      • Anon in NYC

        I just started using a Tom’s of Maine clear (unscented) stick deodorant a week or so ago. It’s working fine now, while it’s still pretty cold, but we’ll see how it works come July/August.

      • Anon for this

        Yay for Tom’s of Maine! 30+-years user of Toms of Maine (unscented stick) deodorant. Started b/c allergic to aluminum chlorohexate or some similarly unpronounceable aluminum compound. Works fine for me. YMMV. We all have our own personal chemistry.

        • finally found the right one

          I can attest to “we all have our own personal chemistry”

          I’ve been wearing deodorant for now, 20+ years? Of late, (like the last 5 years) I hadn’t found a scent that I liked when mixed with my own end-of-day aroma. Regardless of what the deodorant started out smelling like, they all ended up smelling the same at the end of the day.

          I finally found a new Secret scent (“hawaii”) that actually still smells good (to me) at the end of the day. However, the compounds must be different between the clear gel type and the white soft solid type, because the soft solid reverted back to the way that all of my old deodorants smelled. I also found that toward the end of the stick (even of the clear gel), there must be enough oxidation or my own bacteria on the stick to make it smell not-the-same-as-new.

          So, what was said before: YMMV

      • hoola hoopa

        My husband also uses TOM roll-on. Works really well for him. He doesn’t even use it because it’s natural – only because it works well and doesn’t have a strong scent.

    • Faith

      Aluminum is in all antiperspirants so look for something that is a deodorant only. Tom’s didn’t work for me unfortunately. Old Spice pure sport deodorant works well though. I know its a man’s deodorant but the smell isn’t that strong. It isn’t as natural as I want but at least it doesn’t have aluminum. I’m curious if anyone has other more natural suggestions.

    • AEK

      I like Tom’s lavender roll-on, but it does have propylene glycol in it— in case your aim is eliminate all chemicals that some (and/or some corners of the Internet) find problematic. One with propylene glycol will have a little bit of anti-antiperspirant protection since it’s absorbent (in addition to helping all the other ingredients penetrate deeper into the skin).
      My favorite and best-working is Avalon Organics E plus High C roll-on, which has no aluminum and no PG or parabens.

      I can tell you from a lot of experience that with all natural deodorants, roll-on is always better than stick; the one thing that kills germs / odors best is the alcohol, and the solids just don’t make that happen well.

    • HnH

      Kiss My Face liquid rock. I use the scent free one, although they have scented ones as well. It has worked well for me in the office environment. Have not tried in more laborious conditions.

    • zora

      Tom’s was too harsh on my skin for some reason, i had a weird reaction to it. JASON brand has a natural deodorant, too, but that also didn’t really work for me, but it’s worth a try. I finally found Earth Science brand, I use the Lavender scent but they have other scents, too, it is gentle on my skin, but I like the lavender scent, I feel like it is a more soothing scent and doesn’t smell like “deodorant” … but it is not an antipersperant. Just helps me not smell gross when i’m sweaty ;o)

    • CapHillAnon

      Lavanilla at Sephora is aluminum-free and has some scents that smell good. Of course, it isn’t as strong as the regular ones, but it might work for you.

    • Godzilla

      I really hate all of the women’s antiperspirants/deodorants. I started using Arm & Hammer’s unscented stick and it’s ACTUALLY UNSCENTED. And it does go on clear on my body (not clothing, unfortunately). I’ve also tried out liquid crystal deodorant that I picked up from Whole Foods – I got a tea tree and jasmine one. It’s not an antiperspirant but it’s an unoffensive-to-me scent that works all day.

  16. Frugal doc..

    What is your favorite source for V-neck cardigans? I prefer 3/4 length sleeves.

    I’m constantly scrunching up my long sleeves, as it seems to look better/lengthen to have some bare arm, but it stretches out the sleeves so quickly….

      • Frugal doc..

        Quite cheap! Cotton with a bit of spandex/nylon. I’ll check them out. Thanks.

        Also searching for jewel tones, and additional fabrics (ex. some silk) to up the formality for work.

        Any other V-neck, 3/4 sleeve favorites?

        • zora

          Also, I don’t know what they have right now, but I have had good luck with Halogen cardigans at Nord strom. they usuallyhave lots of different styles and lots of different colors, and they always put some on sale with the change of seasons. good quality for the price.

    • zora

      Target is having a sale right now, Merona ultimate cardigans on sale for $15. They are the crew neck 3/4 sleeve ones, though.

  17. Squeaky shoes

    Three weeks ago I bought nude-for-me and black Nine West wedges on 6pm.com. Both are leather. Now, both are squeaking. Like, egregiously noisy when I walk down the hallway at work squeaking, like the wedge itself somehow broken. 6pm doesn’t do returns but I though I’d be safe since they are Nine West – common brand, and leather. Any advice? Is there a way to fix this? The squeak happened to me once before with some cheap flats but I simply threw them away.

    • BankrAtty

      6pm has pretty good customer service. I suggest emailing them and explaining the problem. I suspect they will send you a return shipping label and issue a refund.

      • Squeaky shoes

        Thanks! I just emailed them – we’ll see if they allow a return/refund.

      • tesyaa

        I had pretty bad luck with 6pm’s customer service, so I hope your experience is different from mine.

        • Maddie Ross

          This. It is somewhat surprising to me that they are associated with Zappos, which has awesome customer service. I realize they are the clearance arm, but they literally have 0 customer service.

    • I am a banana.

      Get thee to a cobbler? I had this issue with some NW heels and my shoe guy was able to fix it somehow. Also BodyGlide, if it’s an issue of your foot making contact with the shoe.

    • hellskitchen

      They do do returns, just not free returns so you may have to pay shipping yourself. I have returned a few items to them over the years and I think they have 30 day limit (not sure) so you might be very well still in the window.

  18. Natalie

    Be careful with the cut of a dress like this if you carry weight in the stomach, as it’s bisecting that area. It’s better to have the seam at the smallest part of your waist. But it’s a great color and I love the cowl!

    -Natalie
    ourstylefiles.com

  19. Anon

    The deodorant post above reminded me….

    My doctor wrote me a prescription for the prescription strenth deodorant last time I went in for a physical. This stuff is life changing people! You put it on before bed and holy cow I’m not sweating through my shirts anymore (gross I know)!

    So if you have a sweating problem like me I would definitely encourage you to try this stuff out. It’s called Hypercare.

    • Anonymous

      Just to clarify, Hypercare is prescription strength antiperspirant, not deodorant. I used to have a prescription for it too, but Certain Dri works just as well on the sweating front. Neither helped at all on the odor issue, and if anything the odor became more annoying because it’d come out of nowhere–at least when you sweat, you have an idea.

      • Anon

        You’re correct, my terminology was incorrect. I’ll have to try Certain Dri – is it over the counter? I’m not really stinky, just sweaty (I hope that’s possible and that I’m not kidding myself).

        • Anonymous

          No worries! Just wanted to clarify for any other odor sufferers like me who are still in search of a solution for that.

          Yes, Certain Dri is OTC–it costs about the same as Hypercare did under my old insurance, but my last 3 insurance plans have not covered any medicines related to hyperhidrosis, so CertainDri is a good alternative for anyone on a similar plan or where the Hypercare copay is higher than $6.

          I’m jealous that you’re sweaty and not stinky! (Not that the sweat is fun, but there at least seem to be methods to reduce it!) I am getting tired of throwing away clothes because the smell is so bad even after washing in special sport detergent meant to get out heavy workout musk. I don’t know what it is about lawyering all day in a freezing cold office that makes me smell like I’ve just done an Ironman :(

          • anne-on

            May sound weird, but have you tried adding amonia to your wash? It really works wonders at getting out that musky funk and/or stripping soap build up.

      • anonness

        In my experience, Certain Dri just didn’t do the job that Hypercare did … though it certainly didn’t itch throughout the night like Hypercare does. Hah.

    • Frugal doc

      Btw – when I started spironolactone for hormonal/cystic, acne…. all sweat/smell issues disappeared. You can’t take spironolactone if you are pregnant.

  20. parlimentarian

    Does anyone have short cheat sheet for parlimentary procedure that thay like? I saw a few online that would work, but I am open to other suggestions. I love volunteering, but poorly run meetings drive me nuts.

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