Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Elbow-Sleeve Turtleneck Midi Dress

87 Comments

1. For the person looking for medium-dressy work dresses, here’s what I mean about needing to look at resale but you can sometimes get lucky – size 8, forgiving skirt, Brooks Brothers (the Red Fleece line, but dressy), $14.
   https://www.thredup.com/product/women-brooks-brothers-red-fleece-black-casual-dress/214982567

   1. Huh I was thinking this dress today fits that bill much better, and can be returned.

      1. Yep this is a lovely dress and the boots are great for cold weather, and also look smart.

         I hear people on here recommend buying used clothes, but in real life my friends have universally had bad experiences, whether buying or selling. Consignment stores with proper cleaning, trying on for fit, and in person inspection of the state of the clothing, is the way forward.

         1. I buy a lot of my wardrobe secondhand, and I agree–in person is the way to go, particularly at upscale consignment stores. I only buy secondhand online if I’m familiar with the brand or buying something casual with a large margin for error, like a sweatshirt for a Super Bowl party.

            1. I will buy on Poshmark but only if I know the brand, and often the exact piece. I have replaced worn-out or damaged items with the exact same thing and it has worked out well.

            2. I’ve been burned doing that – smells, a top from a different lot but same style, never again.

         2. YMMV. I buy plenty of clothes on Poshmark, but only from brands I am very familiar with and posts with many, many pictures.

      2. I agree, today’s dress looks more modern, by a lot. But those posters were looking for knee-length fit-and-flare, and given they’ve been duly warned that it isn’t the most current look… it’s what they asked for.

         1. Yeah if you’re going second hand because they don’t sell the style currently, that’s a fast track to frump town.

         2. Nothing frumpy about that Brooks Brothers dress. If I were the same size I was before COVID, I’d be wearing the same clothes.

            1. Hard disagree. That is the definition of frump.

            2. Yeah that dress first comes to mind paired with a Jackie cardigan, black tights, and black round-toe heels. I can envision it styled better with a lady jacket, no tights, and pointed-toe flats, but it requires a lot of effort to look current, vs. today’s pick.

            3. If it has a regular hem, it would be better, but it is slightly hi-low and to me that is very 2010s

            4. Frumpy is not the same as out of style. Two different concepts. If it wasn’t frumpy when it was in, then its not frumpy. Frumpy is capris that hit midcalf on someone with cankles, or any look that does not flatter the body.

      3. 100% Not going to wear clothes somebody has already sweat in. Go to Macys or Dillards, try on some dresses, spend the hundred dollars and you’re done. Its not difficult.

         1. 100% not going to contribute to landfills unnecessarily. Go to a local thrift store, try on some dresses, spend the 25 dollars and you’re done. It’s not difficult.

            1. +1 I don’t think so highly of myself that destroying the planet is acceptable

            2. Eh how is buying clothes unethical? As long as you’re buying something with natural fingers made in a country and company with high ethical standards, then I truly think it’s a good thing to buy me and keep for decades.

               Even from a personal perspective, on a cost per wear basis I would put money on getting better value from high end pieces (within reason…not talking about ridiculously overpriced pure fashion items!)

            3. Yikes! go away.

         2. The only sweat you want involved in your clothing is the sweat of the sweatshop workers, got it.

         3. You can usually wash clothing.

2. The dress is $298 at Neiman Marcus, not $198.

   1. And it’s polyester/synthetic.

3. Can someone recommend portable wifi? I’m about to spend three weeks taking care of my 84 y/o mother following surgery and I don’t trust her home wifi being fast enough. I don’t want to screw up her home settings (she does most things in person–she probably doesn’t even know the password to her account for me to order a better plan). Is there a device I can buy to give me a high-speed hotspot? I need to be on Teams meetings for my current job and am in the midst of a job interview process elsewhere and really have to have dependable video calling and would be nice to have a ton of streaming while I’m there.

   1. Check your phone plan’s limit on mobile hotspot usage. But cellular will be slower than almost any home internet connection.

   2. I have T Mobile at home and in my office, the plan that was $55 and now appears to be $35/month. There is no contract, at least with the $55/month option. If you go into a store, you walk out with their router thingy, plug it in, set it up and you’re off to the races. I use it for Teams daily, and it supports all of our TV at home. We don’t game on it, so I do not know how it would hold up to that.

   3. All of those “portable wifi gadgets” work on cellular data (like your phone), so the core question is which network (AT&T, t-mobile, Verizon) works best at your mom’s house (and is that good enough for your needs). If they offer service, the safest option is buying a home internet service directly from the provider (everything else is reselling capacity on at&t, t mobile, verizon)

      As a backup option – get an ethernet cable so you can plug directly into the router. Sometimes, what people think is “slow internet” is really “slow wifi” and hardwiring to the router will just take that variable out of the equation

   4. I live in a very remote area and work mostly remotely, in IT. My internet is a local DSL line. It is more than fine. ISPs massively inflated the need for speed. For what you describe, what she has is fine. I wouldn’t borrow trouble.

      1. This.

         1. It’s possible to get a good enough connection from DSL but it’s far from guaranteed – and I’m guessing OP has already used the internet at her mom’s place/has a sense of how it will work. It’s not just a question of speed (ie max download speed), but also latency (esp. for calls) and reliability (how often are you under X minimum speed), router quality (few ISPs are actually updating the routers they use for DSL clients, it’s too small a market to be worth it), etc.

            DSL speeds are also more affected by your position on the line than other tech – just because “it’s all DSL” doesn’t mean two customers are having similar experiences

   5. Before you go out and buy something, talk to your IT department to see if they can loan you a portable hot spot for work. This works best if you still have a physical IT presence at your office and is an important reason to always be nice to IT.

   6. Your local library may have hotspots you can borrow/check-out!

      1. I was going to suggest this. There will be no point of it’s the same cell carrier you already have, but if it’s not, perhaps worth it to hedge your bets.

   7. For the video calls, does your mother have an ethernet line you can plug in and use? That’s always been the more stable connection in our house, even with good wifi.

4. This looks lovely, but the model is listed as 5-10. I’m half a foot shorter, so I think that the skirt could drag the ground in flats. I am all about hemming pants in a rigid fabric but don’t have a lot of faith with trying to hem a knit skirt.

   1. Lafayette 148 has pieces with a similar vibe, and has petites.

      1. Love Lafayette 148 but their prices have become bonkers. I don’t even bother looking anymore.

   2. I agree it looks great, and the price is quite reasonable, but it is probably too long for me. Also, winter here is nearly over, so I am not going to be buying any new wintry outfits.

      1. So funny how the weather is different in places. Winter is pretty much just starting here in So Cal.

         1. I am in Atlanta. I always overbuy warm clothes because they look so cozy and then realize that I’m only wearing things 2 or 3 times.

      2. Shockingly, I am in Chicago and it is 65 degrees. Crazy. Not a good sign for the future of earth.

         1. And snow predicted for Friday night. I love the Midwest.

5. I grew a size and need some more workwear for a business-casual office where I am on the more formal side. How is Zara for what seems to be designed as workwear? I need something with flexible SML sizing, hopefully not permanently, and a few items look like they’d work.

   1. What body type do you have? I found Zara unwearable; I have wide shoulders and hips.

   2. Depends where you are on the size spectrum, it’s better at the lower end not higher sizes, runs small. Also runs short – it’s not for tall people.

      1. This is perfect then. I’m short. And somewhere on the medium spectrum.

   3. I find Mango generally has more work-friendly styles and is around the same price point and quality. Quality for both is really hit or miss, I have a few pieces that have lasted years, and others that get destroyed/misshaped after one wash.

6. i am so confused about the savanna guthrie case. it seems like they have few leads. i am sure this stuff unfortunately happens all the time and we are just not as aware of it, but i cannot imagine how her family must be feeling right now. her, her husband, her kids, siblings, etc. the whole thing is just so upsetting/scary!

   1. I don’t think abductions of elderly people happen all the time. Most abductions are parental abductions of children.

      1. Agree. Kidnapping for ransom is something for the Lindbergh baby / Gucci kidnapping, but not really a thing. The kidnapping crime is so different from the movies — it’s like the fake Uber driver taking you somewhere against your will, which you can tell is likely to end poorly for you.

         1. Threadjack, but I have had multiple experiences of the uber driver taking a “faster” route to try to avoid traffic which has FREAKED ME OUT because of this^ chatter, but has ended poorly for me exactly zero times. (Except the time it was actually slower, but losing 5 minutes is not what this^ is about).

            Genuine question: if your uber driver takes a turn that is not on the map, what do you do? Like you, actually, not the hypothetical what-should-one-do, but like you personally. What do you do?

            1. I open my map app and look at whether we are still going in the right general direction.

            2. This happened to me on Saturday night. I leaned forward and looked at the GPS screen that the driver was using. It was different from mine and the map in my head. It was fine.

            3. I’m thinking of the Columbia SC case where it wasn’t even a real Uber. IDK. I get motion sickness so I’m usually trying to look out into the distance.

            4. I share my location from my uber app as I ‘m climbing in.

   2. I see posts that assume that crime investigations and criminal trials both take place really quickly. I blame TV crime shows.

   3. It’s really awful to imagine what they must be dealing with. Cynically, I think law enforcement has basically nothing and they’re all just trying to keep the story alive at this point. Hope I’m wrong. Shocking (and horrifying) that someone could get away with something this high-profile in the modern world, though.

      1. I hope you are wrong. My friends who stayed in the criminal arena area all very good at their jobs and know to STFU. So it’s not a surprise to see nothing until you are at the point where there is conclusive news.

         1. That would be great. Unfortunately the local law enforcement in this matter keeps holding press conferences asking the public for help. Perhaps they are thinking a few steps ahead

   4. I keep scanning news sites, hoping that I’ll stumble upon any news or updates. I cannot imagine how hard this is for the family. And it looks like there are a ton of true-crime social media people descending on Tucson and filming; ugh, no.

      My brief foray into criminal law and just being a local newspaper reader for decades makes me think that this is not like the Gucci kidnapping (worth a google) and more like the NJ Exxon kidnapping (inept local first-timers, grim result, but there was a legit ransom demand there; I’m sure everything else here was opportunists vs demands that could have resulted in her safe return). This is so close to the Mexican border and so much desert that I am not really optimistic that there will be a resolution. That poor woman. That poor family.

      1. same. like if there isn’t really a ransom, are they just doing this to torture the family. it is so so cruel.

         1. I think that it’s more what the inept do: they can’t very well call up and say, “hey, we dumped her here.” They are stuck with silence and trying to hide what has happened. Often, there is a slip-up or someone has a falling out and tells, but it’s likely that the mother is found but without a clear line pointing back to who did it or exactly what happened.

   5. She looks so distraught (understandably so). I also feel bad for her voice. She is only a few weeks post op. As someone who has recovered from a similar surgery, this is a terrible time for all this.

   6. Kidnappings are uncommon, but only about half of homicides in the US are solved.

      1. I agree. There is a significant subset of the unsolved ones that falls under “we know who knows but they aren’t saying anything,” and another for “lifestyle factors could have contributed to a run-in with someone who’d do this person harm,” but this isn’t that.

         There are cases like Jon-Benet Ramsey where I have no idea what happened, but have often wondered if the people working on the case did have a strong sense of what happened but haven’t been able to charge anyone. And I remember from the Chandra Levy case that things aren’t always what they seem. If anything, a big city (which I’d put Tucson in) is more likely to get a resolution than a police force having to do things like this for the first time. If the guy in Idaho got caught, maybe this one will be caught also.

      2. To be fair, that is because an outsized % of homicides in the US are gang related or involve individuals who may have citizenship issues, and prosecution is much more challenging in both contexts.

         1. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0047235225000522

      3. There are also a ton of missing persons and implausible suicides, at least where I live.

7. My family is invited to a Chinese New Year celebration at another family’s house. This will include dinner.

   What would be a good gift to bring?
   I read that a box of nice chocolates or orange/red fruit is appropriate, in even numbers (bonus if the number 8 is there, so thinking 8 or 18?). How about bringing some homemade dessert?

   Also, should we bring hongbao (red envelopes) for the kids? There will be two host family kids (10 and 14), each of them has invited one friend and their family. If yes to hongbao, should we bring them for all the 4 kids, including our own and the other guest, and how much money goes inside?

   I can make a trip to our local Asian supermarket, as well, but wanted to check with the wise hive.

   1. Not sure on the cultural points, but I never bring a dish unless specifically requested so no desserts. I’d also err on the side of generous, so I’d do envelopes for all the kids.

      1. I think it’s more of a food gift than an unrequested dish.

         1. She asked about bringing a homemade dessert, I say never to that unless asked.

      2. I will of course ask the host family whether we can or should bring a dessert, but otherwise I’ll get oranges and Asian chocolates and will go with that.

   2. Yes, oranges – ideally the mandarins with leaves. nice high end chocolates/treats in red packaging. Most retailers have CNY packaging these days. Yes, red envelopes are good to have. You just need it for all 3 other kids – your kid will get one from the Chinese parents. I do a $2 bill. Just symbolic.

      1. If you can get Le Bon Garcon candies and caramels on short notice (esp in a red box), you won’t regret it. They were gifted to me and they are SO good. The maker fused her Chinese upbringing with her French culinary training to delicious effect.

         1. I just assumed they were made by a woman but alas, no, it’s a man!

            Also, millennial alert: you will struggle to throw away the box when you’re done with it. It’s a keeper box.

   3. We are going to our first invite tonight actually. I told my DH to pick up a cake and a bag of oranges. We’ll also bring a small craft kit activity for the kids to do.

      I asked my friend if we should pick up anything else and she said no, so… I think we’re good.

      1. When I went to a family CNY celebration, we got the expensive oranges from Whole Foods or whatever. I was glad we did

   4. On envelopes – I would bring twice as many envelopes as you think you need. Will not be weird if you ask the host how many kids are expected to be there. Sometimes there are extra kids, sometimes you must tease the unmarried adults with envelopes, so make sure you are ready.

      1. What is this about teasing? Genuinely curious what the tradition is.

         1. Is this to tease unmarried adults that they are not children but also not adults? Their parents can do that but I don’t think guests are expected to. That… isn’t teasing, just mean to everyone

            Yeah if I’m not familiar with the teasing going on, I am not teasing anyone. I will smile and nod.

      2. Haha, I don’t think any unmarried adults will be there. It’s us, another family, and the host family.

         But good point, I will bring enough hongbao – whatever doesn’t get used this time will get used next year, as I expect us to be invited more often given our school district demographics.

   5. H-mart has boxes of fruit for gifting, and other Asian stores likely will, too.

   6. I usually do $5 per red envelope. And I don’t do my own kids- just the other kids. You could do more, but I’ve only ever gotten larger sums from relatives.
      I like to gift pomelos, Korean pears or Pineapple cakes.
      +1 to whatever is in the nice gift box at the Asian grocery store.
      And wear red if you can!

      1. Oh I didnt know about the wear red part! I’m in all black today and was just going to go straight after work. I’ll go home and change. Thanks!

         1. Don’t wear all white or black, they are “funeral colors” and would not be appropriate for CNY

      2. Yes, I will try to wear red!

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