ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Ellis Cotton Shirt

At the first hint of spring (i.e., a single day above 40 degrees), I’m usually ready to toss all of my sweaters into the back of my closet and start taking stock of my spring wardrobe.

After spending last spring in yoga pants and sweatshirts, most of my spring work clothes are in pretty good shape, but I always need to add one or two crisp white shirts to the rotation.

This lightweight cotton shirt from Rails has a really pretty textured fabric that would look equally at home tucked into a pencil skirt or used as a bathing suit coverup.

The shirt is $158 at Nordstrom and available in sizes XS–XXL.

Treasure & Bond has a more affordable option that is $59 at Nordstrom and available in XXS–XXL and 1X–3X.

Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

216 Comments

  1. Thank you to all who helped me a few weeks back with puppy names for my new German Shepherd puppy. Lots of great ideas that led to lots of great discussion. He has been with me two weeks now and is the cutest (giant) ball of fluff and teeth. I went with the name Oscar ,and Wylie was such a good runner up I gave him a middle name because then I could lean even more into Oscar Wilde jokes. If you want to break up your instagram with puppy posts he has his own now so as to not bombard people with puppy photos with out their consent. He is at oscar_wylie_gsd and if you are also a similar crazy dog owner, I totally want to follow your pups too!

    2. My Dad had a German Shepard named Hank in the military. He has pictures of Hank, who was very cute. When Dad left the Army, he wanted to take Hank with him, but they would not let him.

      I wondered if the HIVE thought that what Cuomo did with the women deserved impeachment. Make no mistake about it. I do NOT condone any of it, but since he is such a good Governor, I think they should let him stay on to finish the job he is doing. I think that now that everything is out in the open, he has apologized and will keep his hands (and his winkie) to himself goeing forward. That is all we can hope for with our leaders. So many others have gotten away with worse, and he was not married and had no girlfreind that he was cheating on at the time.

    3. Aww that’s a cute name. I’ll check him out on instagram!

      You can follow my corgi on instagram at ginger.bossyboots She’s not one of the “insta famous” corgis on there, but I think she’s cute.

      1. Both of you reeled me in right away. I see recommendations for lifestyle accounts to follow all the time and I’m like, whatevs, but a “follow my dog” or “follow my kittens,” I don’t even finish reading the post. I’m over in Insta typing in the name like I’m Usain Bolt of the smart phone.

        1. Ha! Felix and Oscar are still shy but are coming along verrrrrrry slowwwwwwwly. Instead of immediately jumping off The Tower and The Turret and running away when they see us, they are doing that about half the time now, which I am taking as a win. Most days they will sit in the doorway to their room and stare at us in the morning when we peek in to say hi. At this point I am positive they aren’t scared, they’re just standoffish.

          And like clockwork, without fail, every. single. night. when we get in bed and turn out the lights, they come out of their room and start crunch-crunch-crunching the dry food in the hallway outside our bedroom. Cracks me up.

    6. Love that head tilt video! So cute.

      Oscar is my family’s pocket name for if we ever get a dog, which we probably won’t. But such a cute name, I’m glad your good boy has it!

    7. Oscar was the name of our pet that we lost last year after 14 fun-filled years together, so I obviously love that name and think it’s an excellent choice!

  2. Any website suggestions for gardening for dummies? I have no idea what I’m doing but want to make my front yard more colorful this year and ditch the generic builder grade plants. I planted some rose bushes last year that did well but I have big gaps and have no idea how to mix and match other plants in there.

    1. If you want color without a whole lot of extra work, I’d plant some nasturtium seeds and some native to you wildflowers, both very good for the bees. I often find gardening instagrammers to be really good, they’ll give lists of what to do and plant by months. Also, snoop around your neighbours gardens, using a plant ID app, see what is growing healthily in the same climate.

    2. Since you are not talking about the other (yummy) kind of gardening, I think you should start with the online version of the book, Gardening for Dummies, which you can find here.
      https://www.dummies.com/home-garden/gardening/

      If you read through it, they will teach you everything from how to care for succulents to how to fertilize your orchids. Also, there’s alot of tips for growing vegetable there.

      Good luck with your gardening. With the pandemic, this is the only kind you can safely do, with or without men! YAY!!!

    3. So you’re looking more for flowers and landscaping, rather than veggies? Hmm. I really like garden accounts on Instagram. (disclosure: I have one. It was my pandemic project last year and I will be continuing it this season!) The Monrovia plant website often has good ideas on what to pair together. What zone are you in? I’d try to find blogs and websites that are specific to your region, otherwise they may not be all that helpful.

      1. No veggies. There is zero chance that I have the attention span that requires. I was searching for accounts in my state instead of zone. Is zone helpful even if it is a different state?

        1. Your state is a good place to start, but keep in mind that there can be multiple zones within a state! So, yes, I find searching by zone to be VERY helpful, even if the recommendations are coming from another state.

    4. If you own your home and have a little bit to spend, you can hire a landscape designer to draw up a plan for you. I’ve done this at several homes, ranging from a townhouse courtyard ($500) to five acres of country gardens ($5,500). It’s wonderful to have a plan because you’re buying the right plants for your house, zone, soil, light, etc, etc, and you know (instead of hope ha) it’s going to look good when they grow in.

      Many local independent garden centers have designers on staff, but they’ll want you to buy some or all of your plants from them. This can be good and bad – they’ll have a selection you won’t find at big box stores, but common plants will cost a heck of a lot more at a nursery than they will at Lowe’s. Or you can google and find an independent designer who’s not associated with any store (my preference, but not always a possibility depending on where you live).

    5. A few thoughts. First, if you want color you need to make sure that the plant is getting the light it needs. Many full or part sun plants will live in the shade but will not bloom. Also, consider planting perennials or a few great containers for an instance fix since some shrubs will take a while to flower. Second, go to your local garden center — not a chain, think the nursery that has been there for 40 years — and talk to them about what to plant and where. They know what will grow best in your area. Also, they can recommend plants for “my husband will forget about all plants if i’m out of town for a week, what will survive.” Third, and the hardest one for me, its ok to let plants go. It took me a while to realize that some plants just for whatever reason were not growing well and other plants would do better in the area — even if it meant that I might have to dig up an alive plant. Finally, walk around your area and take pictures of yards you like. Note which plants look healthy and happy because chances are you probably have similar soil.

    6. My goals for this spring and summer involve several backyard projects. As I have planned, I spent tons of time on Pinterest, BHG, and Houzz. Better homes and gardens has a bunch of garden plans that tell you specific plants to pick if you want a butterfly garden, shade garden, etc. that are great.
      I am also not artistic at all, but I sketched out and used colored pencils to draw some of the beds that I’m going to plant so I can get a sense of how it should look and explain to my garden assistant (aka Husband) what my vision is.
      When all else fails, I find the people at Home depot or local garden stores/nurseries super helpful. They will generally only carry plants that are good for your zone and environment.

    7. I was a newbie pandemic gardener and had several failed attempts before (lost interest, low attention span, over or under watered, went out of town, plants died). So I went with this idiot-proof low-effort approach. Go to Home Depot (they have curbside where they put it into your car trunk so you don’t even need to enter the store) and buy the City Pickers Raised Garden Bed and read and follow the instructions exactly.
      The instructions ask you to buy Potting Soil, Garden Lime and Fertilizer and I ordered all 3 from Home Depot as well, Miracle Gro brand worked great for me. Follow the instructions to put these in and put in some easy local flower seeds or seedlings. I was able to set it all up in a couple of hours one afternoon.

      The good thing is that it is self-watering, you water the lower reservoir once a week or so and the plants wick up the moisture as they need it. Ok to leave or forget for a few days, less risk of over or under watering. This worked so well for me I ended up with 3 of these planters and grew a ton of vegetables and flowers all of the pandemic. It truly kept me emotionally balanced.

    8. That’s what annuals are for. You buy several six packs and stick them into prepared ground. I like to put them near my door or walkway for maximum impact. They last only a season, so you can change it up every year. Bunch them together closer than you probably think. I am partial to pansies for partial shade and petunias for full sun.

  3. Hi Hive, does anyone work in fundraising? I would be interested in learning more about what you do and whether you enjoy your job and find it fulfilling. I am trying to move away from my current career path (lawyer), and fundraising seems like an interesting career. TIA!

    1. My SIL is in this area. What about it appeals to you? She’s energetic, extremely extroverted, and is generally adept at handling things in a tactful way or making them seem like a win-win.

    2. I’m not “in” fundraising but I know there is a whole legal side to fundraising. There is fundraising through estate planning, ensuring restricted funds are used properly, complying with AG reporting requirements, knowing what type of fundraisers are legal in your state and what requires permits (say raffles that the state considers a lottery).

      Maybe to transition, you could spin off into consulting on fundraising law and then once you know more fundraisers test the waters about becoming an actual fundraiser.

    3. I work in fundraising. Do you enjoy meeting tons of new people? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you mind eating at the same restaurant 12 times in one day if it means you get to meet 12 donors in a row? Do you like being on the phone? Do you like working nights and weekends? Do you enjoy jobs where you do a lot of travel? How do you deal with entitled people? Do you enjoy writing thank you notes and following up on follow ups? Some things to think about before you join us in the wonderful world of fundraising.

      1. One of my closest friends works in major gifts fundraising for a large university, and based on her experiences (that she has relayed to me over the years), these are all great questions. I think the other BIG one is that seems obvious, but is honestly harder than you think for some people, do you feel comfortable asking other people for money?

        1. I worked on the administrative side of fundraising for a major university, and this is the one thing I couldn’t reconcile which meant I moved to another higher ed job. I just could not wrap my mind around asking people for their money. I realize this is a personal hang up and it can be so fulfilling on the donor side to see your hard earned money go to a great cause, but it meant that I really couldn’t move into being a gift officer.

    4. Okay, so I realized my first comment was sort of meanspirited. Here is what my day to day is actually like. I am an annual giving director and I have been in this job for over 10 years.

      – I manage a portfolio of about 150 major gift prospects. I do traditional major gifts work with them. Develop personal relationships, listen to their interests/passions, and align those with the organization’s mission.
      – I manage a broader portfolio of about 15,000. I have automated most of this work, but I supervise the work and escalate personal touches as needed. These are the folks who receive the bulk of our appeals.
      – When constituents make gifts, I follow up with thank you messages within hours.
      – I design sequences of events for specific donors based on their communication preferences.
      – I build models that identify donors who are about to make gifts or who require a visit before they will make a gift. Then, I act on those models by connecting donors to the gift officers that are closest to them.
      – I create and manage our annual fund plan across all channels, including direct mail, phone, text, video, e-mail, etc.
      – I do constant research on donor behavior by running experiments and testing EVERYTHING that we do. We need to be optimizing constantly because our budget is small. I monitor the ROI of everything and wring out as much effectiveness-for-space as possible in all our programs and appeals.

      My job as the annual giving director is to be the knowledge center, innovation provider, and infrastructure facilitator for my organization’s fundraising team. I mostly like the job but there are some parts that are exhausting. I find the major gifts work especially difficult, especially in the age of COVID-19.

      That said, there is an extremely high demand for fundraisers and a very low supply of talent, so I don’t think you’d have any trouble at all breaking into the industry. The reason for the low supply of talent is that most people are afraid to ask others for money, but the asking for money part is honestly a tiny part of the job. Mostly, you are managing hundreds of simultaneous relationships. It is really a lot like dating. If you enjoyed the process of dating, you’ll love being a major gifts officer. If not, you’ll probably hate it.

      1. This advice is all spectacular. Do you have any resources that would be helpful for people serving at small organizations on the board? Our organization doesn’t have the scale to do a lot of this, but they are probably things we could be doing better.

        1. Anonymous, happy to help, but want to be able to best help you, so let me ask. Are you interested in resources about board member effectiveness, optimizing annual giving fundraising, or soliciting major gifts?

          2. The annual giving program I run can only exist in happy partnership with a great advancement services team. I have been able to automate most of my work and can focus on optimization because we have a great database that has been built over years. My suggestions as far as ways to get staff at your org plugged into great resources and samples are Jon Taylor from FundSvcs and Bob Burdenski at Fundlist. They will get you whipped into shape. When the team feels ready for something more advanced, I learned how to create predictive models for fundraising from the CoolData blog run by Kevin MacDonell at cooldata.wordpress.com. I learned a lot about human behavior that has really helped our team from Five Maples Development Communications. Their blog is AMAZING.

            The very best teacher alive today teaching people to make major gifts asks is Dr. Arthur Criscillis from Alexander Haas. I took personal lessons from him to get over my anxiety regarding asking for gifts, but I understand that a small org probably does not have the funds to bring in Dr. Criscillis. He has a video online where he gets to the gist of how to get appointments and ask for gifts. Look on YouTube for “Advancement Live: Setting Appointments & Making the Ask”.

            I would caution against reading Penelope Burke. A lot of people read her books and think they are amazing, but I will tell you that major gift donors often ACT in counterintuitive ways. This sounds bad, but please remember to pay careful attention to the actions of your org’s donors, not to their words.

          3. Awesome – thank you! Will check these resources out. Even the anti-recs :-)

      2. This is such thoughtful and great advice — I bet you are excellent at your job!!

    5. As somebody who is on the receiving end of fundraising, this advice is all spot-on.

      I will also say that anecdotally, I have noticed a lot of turnover in these jobs. I am friends with a bunch of people in development (that’s the fancy word for fundraising) and every one of them has had multiple jobs in the time I’ve known them.

      And an example that ties these two concepts together, just yesterday I got a call from the major gifts officer I’ve been working with at Organization A for the past several years, telling me she’s enjoyed our time together and letting me know she’s moving to Organization B.

    6. Fundraiser here! I’ve worked in this industry for 15 years and think I have the best job in the world. I started in social service in a big city, then went to higher ed in a medium-sized city, and now work in K-12 private education in a small city. I’m the Chief Advancement Officer for my org and oversee a team of 9.

      I don’t think you have to be an extrovert to fundraise — you do have to enjoy meeting people and listening to their stories. I believe that fundraising is primarily about listening and really hearing someone. I know a lot of people think my job is weird/gross — asking for money. But I don’t see it like that; rarely do I say: “Please give us $XXX.” Rather, the best work (and I focus primarily on major gifts) is about telling stories that weave together the mission of your org with the donor’s passion (which you find out — the passion part — by listening and getting to know them). “Jane, it will take $YYY to make Thing You Love happen. Can you help with that?” I’ve had donors thank me for the opportunity to give; I truly believe that philanthropy fulfills a deeply human need.

      Things to consider: you must truly love/believe in your employer, because if you can’t “sell” the mission I find the job to be impossible. This means the CEO and the department head really matter. I think fundraising is best done collaboratively, with a team or group of volunteers to bounce ideas off of, but not all shops work that way. There are nights and weekends, but I’ve found all of my development jobs to be incredibly flexible because most folks (unless you’re on the operations side) are typically expected to be out of the office on visits (pre-COVID) so it’s easy to schedule around personal appointments. You’d want to know how success is measured, and how much pressure is on the department to make financial goals.

      I’ve worked with many lawyers, mostly in the area of planned giving; I would look to universities and hospitals for that kind of work, as well as some larger K-12 schools and social service orgs. You might also consider working in planned giving for a community foundation (or somewhere that raises money for endowment — lawyers are helpful there).

      Good luck! I believe it’s a wonderful, fulfilling career — even though the relationships I’ve made w/donors are always on behalf of my org, I have the benefit of the personal growth that comes from knowing those people.

    7. I’m a development director at a legal services nonprofit. I’ve spent the last 8 years at 2 legal aids. Non-attorney. Most of us in development aren’t, but there are a few attorneys who made the switch. We are better paid than many of the staff attorneys. It is a different type of work because you have to be comfortable making the case for a gift both in writing and in person. A lot of people are scared of asking for money, at the end of the day.

  4. A “lightweight cotton shirt” in white? Nope. Why would I ever pay $160 for a shirt virtually guaranteed to be see through?

    1. lol this was my first thought too. Not to mention that even Elizabeth says it could be used as a swim coverup! No thanks!

      1. Thanks! I actually like this top (I just wear a nude bra and embrace it) and the Universal Thread top is more in my budget. Just purchased.

        1. Yes they have some cute stuff for this spring! Unfortunately a lot of puff shoulder/ruffle shoulder tops that do not work for my broad shoulders but other good options as well.
          I’m really into the put together but slouchy look of these shirts for wfh.

    3. Mine, too. I can’t even figure out what people are doing with these types of tops – my mother got me a nice knit top (from a reputable brand) for my birthday that is pretty and could be a real workhorse, except that it’s so thin that even a perfectly nude cami is entirely visible (and the neckline isn’t really one that works with an undershirt peaking out). I know there was a “sheer shirt with obviously visible cami underneath” trend in the early/mid aughts, but I don’t really think that’s a thing now, and these types of shirts don’t really look like they’re going for that look.

      1. Back in the early aughts I had a sheer crisp white shell that I wore with black pants and a black cami underneath the shell. The neckline was high enough on the shell that the cami was entirely underneath. The cami was plain with no lace.

        It was a look put together by a stylist and I loved it. It was a very intentional showing-my-cami look. I would wear it again. The black cami and black pants created sort of a sleek column the shell floated over.

  5. Can we talk about sheer leggings? I bought some budget ones, printed on the outside and white on the inside. When I bend my knee, I can see the white beneath. I can only imagine what the rear view would be like underneath my tunic.

    Can anyone confirm whether this happens with the colorful koala ones? I need something not-sheer but don’t have an LLL budget.

    1. I have a few pairs of colorfulkoala leggings now and none are sheer. However, they are quite stretchy (good for the Covid 10!) so if you stretch them too far they could be a bit sheer.

      The fabric is a bit thin so it’s not good for winter walks, but wow they are so comfortable and slimming. My new favorite leggings.

    2. You could do a squat check. Put on some very bright undergarments and bend over or squat in front of a mirror in good light. That’s how I check my workout leggings for sheerness.

    3. Agreed–colorfulkoala are not sheer. They are my dd’s favorite leggings (many colors/prints and a couple of different styles). I have navy ones myself, and don’t have a problem. If on the fence at all, size up. I wear a 10 in most pants, and I’m happy with a large in colorfulkoala.

    4. I just bought a pair of these in olive green. Not sheer but very thin (similar in feel to LLL Align but thinner).

    5. I have two pairs of the colorfulkoala joggers. Not sheer at all, but super thin and the waistband doesn’t stay up well because it’s thin and stretchy. They’re perfect for sleep or a lazy day and I love them but I don’t really wear them for my day clothes unless I’m not doing anything. May be different with their actual leggings rather than the joggers!

  6. I have a few pairs of colorfulkoala leggings now and none are sheer. However, they are quite stretchy (good for the Covid 10!) so if you stretch them too far they could be a bit sheer.

    The fabric is a bit thin so it’s not good for winter walks, but wow they are so comfortable and slimming. My new favorite leggings.

  7. I would like to buy a new summer tote bag. It would mainly be used for short trips to the pool and such. I already have a huuuuge LLBean XL tote that carries a family’s worth of c r a p for a day at the lake, but it’s obnoxious and oversized for everyday use. I also find the straps really uncomfortable; after almost a decade of use, they are still very stiff. So I’d prefer to stay away from Bean unless that’s the best option. I’m considering Lands End, which seems to have some pockets, which is nice; or something from Scout because they’re lightweight and cute. Thoughts? Or other brands I should check out? My kids are old enough to carry their own towels, but it’s nice to have one central location to keep keys, sunscreen, phone, pool toys, snacks, etc.

    1. This is what I use those freebie totes that come from events and book pre orders for. The tote that came with my pre order of Rodham is excellent, for example

      1. Mine are all from conferences!

        I mean, I have a nice leather Cuyana tote for work, but if I’m headed to the beach, yes, I will be advertising for your workers’ compensation related orthopedic medical clinic.

        1. Hah! Mine are the giant flat-bottomed totes that Ikea sells for $1 or $3, all bright polka dos and v cute, but you beat me on price. I am imagining bail bondsman totes with “nobody talks, everybody walks” over your shoulder as you head to the beach. Which I believe my children have adopted as their motto, but that’s a story for another day.

    3. I have a dowry of various Scout bags. The huge ones are IMO under-pocketed. The ones with the deep side pockets on both sides are golden (also IMO) — pocket rocket? I think you’d want the biggest one in that configuration (there is a smaller version that (also IMO) could be used to tote around various wine bottles — too small for anything but that. The giant ones I mainly use for towels (e.g., swim meets in prior years where I might have to sit on a concrete pool deck if we run out of seats or the kids go through 50 if it is a cooler day). The pocketed version is our daily driver (big enough for a day’s towels, a book, reading glasses, many sunscreens, shampoo/conditioner/brush, snacks. Their prints and their names are always so cute. I got one for our summer sitter and use it as a clutter container in the off-season since it is square and you can zip the top and it hides in a closet easily.

      This year, if I feel fancy, I may get myself a monogrammed one. Mine from 10 years ago are still going strong.

    4. My pool bags are both Acout. One big giant one (holds 6 towels!) and one of the smaller ones if I’m going with just one kid.

    5. Take a look at Scout bags. They are my go-to bag for everything these days (grocery store, makeup bag, pool bag, etc).

    6. I love Maika bags. The prints are pretty, the fabric is strong without being sail-stiff, and I like supporting small indie businesses. I’ve been thinking I need to replace the tote I use for the farmer’s market, and will probably get one of their carryall totes.

    10. Overpriced, but I do love my Yeti tote for the pool. Waterproof and holds everything, and the straps are great. It’s structured which means it doesn’t flop over and let water/sand in. A lot of people at my pool have the Scout bags, so I think that’s another great choice.

  8. We had a big IT migration overnight last night and everything is crazy this morning. One of the IT guys was just in my office and answered his cell with, “Yes, Sally, everything is on fire, how can I help you?”

    2. As someone that works adjacent to hospital tech, this is 100% my world.

      I run the software company though so it’s my company causing the fire ;).

      1. Pretty much the same here except I run the IT team that does the QA so there should be no fire upon implementation. But there always is; that’s the nature of the beast.

      2. My husband’s in hospital IT. All of the nursing staff know that if they say “affecting patient care,” the IT staff will get reamed out. So they use it all the time, even if it’s something in payroll.

    3. One of my best IT migration memories was participating in a big campus – library integration that if it went wrong could cut off digital access to journals and databases for a lot of people and a few hours after it went live, one of the departmental libraries called all excited and said “Nothing happened! No one noticed! You all are awesome!” Does not happen very often….

  9. DH and I need a vacation. Not sure when it will happen (certainly not anytime soon) but we want to plan it so we can book as soon as it’s safe to do so.

    We are normally more sightseeing type travelers and have gone to Asia and Europe in the past. We decided after the past year that we want 4 days on the beach, far away from other people. A bar of some kind would be good. People that come bring us drinks would be good too, not not required. We just want time to recharge by ourselves without masks (see: wont fly till we are at that point) and without kids.

    We are in Boston and would ideally like a direct flight so we don’t spend half the 4 days flying.

    Where should we look? Places and even resorts welcomed :-).

    1. The Marriott at Marco Island wasn’t crowded when I went in the off-season for a conference (probably now is off-season (it seemed to be a place where snowbirds and retirees go who have some $ but not Palm Beach $); doesn’t seem a likely spring break destination). Its tiki bar had amazing rum drinks (and yet Asian food that was delicious), and I really am not normally a rum drink drinker but OMG they were amazing.

        1. RSW is closest (about an hour to Marco) but don’t discount flying into PBI or FLL – the trip across Alligator Alley is only 1.5 to 2 hours and the flights are often more plentiful.

      2. I can recall it was a bit of a drive, but no traffic at all and I was so happy to be somewhere warm. I flew into Ft. Myers and the rental car situation I have no memory of, so probably that means it was fast and drama free. I was there in . . . September? October? and the beach was just empty. I was at a convention that oddly went to its sessions.

    2. Anywhere in the carribean. I’d look at a fancy resort in PR because less likely to have travel restrictions since not international.

      1. Yes to Puerto Rico! I would see if you can find a place on Vieques; it’s pretty remote. But, all of PR is lovely.

      2. OP here. Any specific carribean resort recs? I have PR on the list. DH’s criteria is “a beach where you can hang out topless and ideally at least one body of water between us and the children.”

        1. If you’re up to not a fancy resort and you want to go somewhere where you can truly sit on a beach with absolutely no people, Vieques. There is a solid chance I’m booking a trip there are soon as it’s safe to do so. Upsides: When I say no people, I really mean no people. I’ve been twice and it is not unusual to be able to find a beach all to yourselves. Potential downsides (depending on your point of view): you have to take either a very small plane or a ferry from PR to get there, and they don’t have any all-inclusive resorts on a beach since the W closed after the last hurricane and never reopened. However, rent a jeep, drive to beach, and sit all day and it’s heaven. You can also walk to Sun Bay and a few other beaches from Esperanza easily.

    3. I would go to Puerto Vallarta personally, the Hyatt there is beautiful, I’ve been dreaming of returning all pandemic.

    4. An all inclusive in Mexico. Le Blanc in Cancun would be amazing for this based on a similar trip i took with my DH ~4 years ago.

    6. Bear with me as this may seem like it is not responsive to your criteria, but I recommend the Azores. It is a four hour or so direct flight from Boston, beautiful, with hot springs, and coasts, and not full of a million people. It was an amazing restful and magical trip, with potential for some easy low stress sightseeing as well.

    7. Sugar Beach, Viceroy in St. Lucia. It is a splurge, but the resort is remote from the other parts of St. Lucia, property is spread out, they have an amazing beach with full service, and you get your own bungalow. Cannot recommend enough.

    8. I hear the Ritz-Carlton in Cancun is really nice, has availability, and is only $309 a night all inclusive. (Sorry, couldn’t resist)

  10. Does anyone have tips or resources to share re: overcoming avoidant behavior / out of control procrastination? Certain parts of my job have become like my HS math homework, in that I avoid it at all costs and feel like I’m being tortured every second I spend on it, and I agonize about it all the time because of how behind I am. It’s really out of control right now. I’ve made progress in the past but always seem to relapse, and each relapse is worse than the last…

    1. Zen Habits blog has had some good posts on sitting with chaos and facing discomfort lately — might be worth a try?

    2. Eat That Frog! has a lot of good tips. Biggest takeaway is to tackle the stuff you hate first in your day (put a time limit if you have to) so it’s not weighing on you all day. This is totally dependent on situation, I also may see if there is someone else on the team who enjoys or excels and see if there is opportunity to pair and leverage our strengths. I’m good on strategy and creating systems and identifying shortcuts while others enjoy tracking and executing using those systems. If my “starter” self combines with someone who enjoys being a “finisher” it’s usually golden for both of us. At a bigger level, if you find your job consistently has you working against your natural tendencies, it’s time to look for something different. Everyone has a few things they don’t like, but the balance has to be there with also working on some things you do. For example, I work on a lot of product development projects that require creativity and a knack for research and innovation, but I also manage a significant budget. That “feels” right to me. If I were to suddenly be forced to do nothing but budgeting and projecting and tracking expenses, my days would be miserable. It’s worth taking the time to explore fit. I highly recommend the Kolbe Index if you’ve never taken one.

    3. I am just out of a similar problem, which lasted all through January and February – exactly around certain tasks and not others. I would suggest you take a full-spectrum view of all of your stressors, because certainly there are many right now and it is fairly normal for overwhelm to deplete our energy such that we self-sabotage on those reach tasks/activities or just the ones we REALLY don’t want to do. See if you can eliminate any of the stressors (for example it helped me to take care of medical appointments I had been putting off and low-level stressing out about). If you can clear some space, it might provide enough relief to do the thing.

      What I also learned, from Kara Lowentheils’ amazing podcast ‘unf*k your brain’ which was good advice, was to sit and examine your thoughts on doing the thing – why don’t you want to do the thing, what do you imagine starting the thing is going to feel like (shame-filled, overwhelmed, self-loathing, frustrated at not knowing where to start, frustrated at not knowing how to do it, overwhelmed by not knowing how long it will take), what do you imagine keeping going with the thing is going to feel like. And then accepting that this is how you will feel when starting, when keeping going. And being kind to yourself that it is ok to feel that way.

      Don’t beat yourself up that this is happening. It’s a year into a pandemic.

  11. My work station has been in my main living room next to our dining table. We used to have a buffet/sideboard piece here but we replaced it with an old desk from a friend when COVID started. The drawers on it have broken so I need to find something new and am wondering if anyone has found a useful furniture item that can function as a desk but looks more like a sideboard/console table? Drawers would be awesome but are not required. The main concern is size (~60 inches wide and 25 inches deep or less) and being able to slide a chair in front when doing video calls. TIA!

    2. Look for a “writing desk.” These tend to be shaped like a console table. Another option would be a secretary desk.

      1. +1 to writing desk. And you can find a lot of vintage/antique styles that are real wood

    3. My mom got a very shallow desk on Wayfair to fit in a narrow space. Can’t find her exact one, but here are a few examples:
      https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/foundstone-sterling-writing-desk-w004775111.html
      https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/brayden-studio-coldfield-solid-wood-writing-desk-bydt1162.html
      https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/three-posts-rotherham-desk-w001669985.html
      https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/george-oliver-carothers-desk-w000248793.html
      https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/wrought-studio-getty-desk-w000407619.html
      https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/mercer41-ally-desk-w000355601.html
      https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/mercer41-ally-desk-w000355601.html

    4. Check out Home Depot. They surprisingly have a lot of desks online and one might work for you.

    5. I have a vintage “gaming table” that would probably fit this criteria if you want to try that as a search term–it looks like a narrow desk (mine has a top that flips overt o an inlaid chess board, and drawers that can open from either side).

  12. I know there are a few Utah readers here. Can anyone comment on what the state masking vibe is like? We’re considering relocating to Salt Lake City for a job opportunity, but after this crazy year, I’m loathe to go anywhere where the pandemic response hasn’t been in good faith. My friends just over the border in Eastern Idaho say that the vibe there is quite anti-mask, but how about in Utah? I see there’s a mask mandate and I recall that things were really bad for a while in terms of hospitalizations, but for the day to day, including on narrow trails/outdoors when you’re near others, do people mask up?

    1. Mask compliance nearly universal on or near University of Utah campus, very high downtown and about 2/3 on neighborhood sidewalks within 3 miles of U/downtown. Last summer/fall hikers usually had masks/bandannas available to pull up or would vear off trail (many trails lightly used enough that even cautious folks like us don’t feel need to have mask on continuously—more popular trails near City people are usually masked). We are very rarely inside buildings but compliance in City seems high. Can’t speak to suburbs or rural areas.
      Over 75% of over-70s vaccinated and now working on 60s and people with certain medical conditions.

    2. I live in Salt Lake City where mask compliance indoors is generally good. You see less masks outdoors but it also isn’t terribly difficult to keep a distance from people. I’ve taken a couple of road trips to southern Utah and once I got about 60 minutes away from the city, mask compliance went way, WAY down. It was wild walking into gas stations and grocery stores and seeing so many people not even bothering and seeming like they almost want you to say something about it to pick a fight.

      Also, I haven’t kept up with it very well but our legislature is in session right now and I think they’re trying to limit the governor’s powers in an emergency so I’m anticipating less state-wide rules and more local variation.

    3. Do you care about the mask mandate response, or do you care about the overall culture? I think people’s response to the mask mandate is just a reflection of the overall culture, so that should probably be what you’re honing in on. I think everyone knows Utah is very conservative, super family oriented, and social life and personal views are very Mormon centric – and as a result there has been fairly universal resistance to the mask mandate such that there are entire parts of the city where you’ll scarcely see a mask except by older people with common sense/fear. Salt Lake City definitely has more mainstream pockets but if you overall aren’t comfortable with the culture of Utah, it may not be the place for you.

      1. I think it depends on your definition of “Salt Lake City.” Within the city limits, mask compliance is very high and seems comparable to what my friends from other parts of the country (California, D.C.) have experienced. Within Salt Lake County, there is more variation. The Salt Lake Tribune recently published an article listing businesses (by type and location, not name) that had gotten in trouble for flouting the rules and for the most part (except for a few notorious nightlife locations downtown) they are clustered at the southern part of the County, in cities like South Jordan and Sandy. Within the “Wasatch Front” metropolitan area, there are large areas (in Utah County and, to a lesser extent, Davis County) where the mask mandates are pointedly and proudly ignored. I live in Salt Lake a few miles from downtown (I’m not either of the posters above) and my friends and I used to joke about needing a really compelling reason to go past 3300 South (which is not technically in Salt Lake City), but that’s especially true now.

  13. I read an article in the WSJ that SF schools have yet to go back at all, in any form, since last year. OMFG. I thought my local schools were bad, but this is . . . likely to drive anyone who can avoid them (via private schools or outright moving) out of SF schools forever, yes? This cannot be anything (for a lot of schools like this) but a tipping point towards a hollowing out of some of our great cities because families who aren’t rich won’t trust them again to get the job done or to prioritize student learning over other concerns.

    1. It’s bananas. Anecdotally, in my circle, I’ve seen both: friends who have been in SF for 15+ years left earlier this year because there’s no end in sight with schools. And also friends who would send their kids to public school but have applied/are applying for private school.

    3. Rich people already don’t send their kids to SF public schools. That’s part of the problem. They’re checked out, their kids are in-person at private schools, and parents of color who work in low-wage essential jobs are getting completely screwed. San Francisco has really disappointed me in many ways and I am looking to leave. It’s liberal in name only – it’s actually just dysfunctional as h*ll.

      1. No, liberal policies ARE dysfunctional. See Chicago, Seattle, NYC and Portland for other examples. I have been enjoying watching the liberal meltdown/explanation for the head of the Berkeley Federation of Teachers (BFT), President Matt Meyer was called out for dropping his kid at her in person pre-school. Why is it fine for his kid and not yours to go to school in person?

    4. My schools have been back, quite successfully, since August. I really, really wonder how these kids are going to compare experiences, and what kids who experienced these long-term closures are going to have to say about it, when they reach adulthood. It’s going to be mind-blowing.

      1. In-person school is not necessarily the solution. Our county offered parents a choice between full-time in-person and full-time on-line. In practice, in-person instruction is not at all the same as it was last year and is not much better than on-line. Teachers are simultaneously teaching to kids in the classroom and at home in quarantine for exposure, so there is very little live instruction or group work. It’s mostly independent work on chromebooks, just as it is for on-line kids. AP courses and some others are just a study hall with asynchronous on-line instruction.

        Even if we tamp down the virus to the point where it’s safe to abandon masks and distancing, schools have invested so much in integrating technology into instruction that I don’t think kids will ever be taught in the same way again. Not that technology is necessarily bad, but it’s been implemented in a way that incentivizes busy work and multiple-choice quizzes and makes real collaboration and in-depth analysis of issues difficult. The pandemic has just accelerated a trend that was already underway.

      2. I wonder the same thing. What these school districts are doing is just beyond the pale. It is so sad, and will undoubtedly change public school in these communities and only increase the divide between the haves and have nots. My public district has been in-person since August, quite successfully. I am not kidding when I say that it is one of my greatest blessings right now. Most parents are NOT equipped to be effective home educators, even if they wanted to be, and kids need to be in school for a whole host of reasons, both academic and social.

      3. I am a juvenile prosecutor in a large city that has not gone back to school at all. It is absolutely terrible for these kids. The kids mostly already come from families that can’t or won’t help with school work and logging in. The kids are totally unsupervised all day, every day and are learning nothing. Predictably, crime rates have gone way up in many cities throughout the country. Bored, unsupervised teens are a recipe for disaster.

        1. So you agree that schools are just for babysitting? This is indicative of a larger problem, one schools can’t be expected to fix on their own.

          1. omg I hate this path of argument.
            yes, schools are for childcare – our entire society has been organized around this concept for 100 years. This is not a bad thing in and of itself and serves only to show that you don’t value childcare.

          2. I’m not the anon at above, but obviously nobody thinks schools are just for babysitting. But schools absolutely ARE an essential source of childcare, and we should be CELEBRATING that as a society we’ve managed to pull off some bare minimum amount of subsidized public childcare rather than acting like it’s some huge denigration of schools and teachers. I find the “ugh, parents just want free childcare” such a strange talking point coming from fellow liberals. The notion that individual parents (and let’s be honest, we’re primarily talking about mothers) should be personally responsible for all aspects of supporting a huge segment of our population (children) is strikes me as a uniquely conservative–and anti-feminist–point of view. It pretends that all families are able to have at least one adult at home during the day, which is so 1950s, unfeasible for so many, and ignores entirely the existence of single parents.

          3. Huh? Schools keep kids engaged and gives them a purpose for their day so that they’re not on the street. If that’s babysitting then yes, schools do play that role and that’s not a problem.

          4. Schools are generally middling childcare and worse education, so no, I’m not going to celebrate it. Of course it’s possible to do even worse, but it’s also possible to do better than most schools.

    5. I’m not trying to minimize the importance of in-person learning, but these schools have still been doing remote learning, right? I can’t tell from your post if you are saying they have been entirely closed with no learning or “just” closed to in-person learning.

    6. The fight between Seattle Public Schools and their teachers Union is also enlightening. Reading through the redline changes to the reopening proposal is now my evening entertainment.

      I doubt they’ll open this year and honestly, I would say fall is in jeopardy.

      2. This hurts to the core. In MA the governor mandated schools all open for at least some in person learning by April.

        It was the push our district needed because we are moving from hybrid to full in person at the elem school in 3 weeks. Middle school is moving full in person April 15. Tbd in high school.

    7. “Other concerns” like a deadly global pandemic that is killing people? Sometimes schools have to be closed.

      1. oh please, the life expectancy of americans increased in 2020 and the overall death rate it down. If it wasn’t for the media hysteria, no one would know there was a “pandemic”.

        1. Life expectancy for Americans declined in 2020. Where are you getting your news?

        2. Seriously, you need to read the news. Life expectancy decreased and more for people of color. My cousin has died as well as a coworker, my former boss is a long hauler and in my wider circles numerous hospitalizations and deaths. Do you seriously think the entire globe is in on some sort of “media” conspiracy? Good grief.

    8. I have a friend who is a SF public school elementary teacher. She wants to go back to the classroom! Teaching online, at least for a conscientious teacher like her, is a lot more work than being in the classroom.

      But like many of us, she is a working parent. She has a toddler and a baby. She wants to be vaccinated before she goes back, obviously, but also she has no one to watch her kids while she works. The family daycare she used before has been shut down. She’s worried about her kids getting something at day care, and bringing it to her parents, who are in their early sixties, so no vaccinations yet. (Parents also work so can’t be daycare.)

      In short, she is facing the same worries a a lot of us on here express. It’s a difficult puzzle to put together.

      I don’t love the trend on here of demonizing teachers. They make a hell of a lot less than most posters on here seem to make, and there’s an elitist attitude that these low paid public servants should risk their lives and figure out stuff the rest of us haven’t been able to figure out.

      If you are so sure you could do it better than a teacher, by all means go back to school and get your credential.

      1. Teachers aren’t the only people dealing with these problems. I work in an industry where workers, plenty of whom are higher-risk and/or parents, have never been able to stop showing up. They managed. In the short-term, school can be flexible, but in the long-term, it’s just as essential as most medical care and many other things. (Some) Teachers are the only ones expecting this level of deference.

        And your friend is not the only teacher dealing with the issues you described. In the large parts of the country and world who see school as essential, teachers manage this. They know that they do something important.

        1. But you all would be positively outraged if an educated woman with no childcare options were expected to show up to work in person when there is a WFH solution during a pandemic.

          1. Nope. We’ve had a year to figure out childcare. Idk why teachers need even longer. Childcare for teachers is the worst reason for schools to be closed.

      2. It’s not hard to puzzle out. She needs to find a new day care and do her job.

    9. I just want them to teach my child something, anything. That’s not happening in our district, either on line or in person. They’ve taken the pandemic as an excuse to further dumb down the curriculum. These kids are going to be in a world of hurt when they get to college and someone asks them to write an essay. My ninth-grader has not written one single essay so far this year. She is getting more science and history instruction in her French class than she is in her actual science and history classes.

    10. I live in a different city, but as someone who is pretty well-off but has kids in public school, I’m p*ssed about the recalcitrance to go back in person. I *could* have arranged my life without the expectation that my kid or kids would be able to attend an OK public school. I could have bought a different house, moved to a different place, had fewer kids. But I thought hey, spouse and I went to public schools, it was fine, I can make public school work for my kids. I’m not someone who thinks my kids need an optimal experience at all times. But remote schooling is substandard and miserable, not to mention unnecessary. Every other thing in my county is open, opening schools won’t make any difference with transmission.

  14. My mother has worked for a government agency for about a year. She hated her job (long hours, a lot of pressure and responsibility) so applied for and got an internal position with another part of the agency. The new position has a lot less responsibility and shorter hours. She was told that the pay for the two positions was equal. It felt a little too good to be true, but the salary was on the job posting and she received and signed an offer letter with the same salary listed. Yesterday was her first day and she was contacted by HR and notified that a mistake had been made and that actually, her new salary is something to the tune of $30K less per year, a sizeable chunk of her pay. She was given two choices- to remain in the new job with the new salary, or to go back to her previous role. This seems incredibly sketchy to me, but I have no experience with government agencies or how they do things. What advice would you give her? Does she have any recourse?

    1. Her recourse is to take her old job back. Up to her whether she wants to, but that’s going to be it.

      1. Really? Isn’t a formal offer letter (signed by both employer and employee) binding? I wouldn’t be so quick to accept the employer’s mistake.

        OP – is there a union?

        1. OP here- yes, there is a union. She wasn’t part of the bargaining unit in her old job but is in the new job. I suggested that she contact the union as well.

    2. Did she sign a formal offer letter or contract? If so, I don’t think afterward HR can claim a mistake was made and lower her pay by $30k. I work in a federal agency and no one moves jobs without first signing a formal contract. I would start there – look into the terms.

    4. If it is just an offer letter, they can change her pay prospectively but not retroactively. So she would need to be paid at the agreed to rate for hours already worked. If she has a formal contract, like a year of employment at x rate, termination only allowed under certain circumstances, that’s a different story and she could try to enforce it.

    5. She needs to talk to her union. If the new position is covered by a CBA, the wages are governed by that agreement. The employer can pay more than that, but not less. It’s likely that the job was posted with the wrong rate by mistake, and now they’ve discovered and are trying to fix. The union rep will look at her offer letter, the CBA, and anything else relevant and can help her determine next steps.

      1. +1 but I think you’re right that it was likely a mistake and I doubt they’re going to be willing to do anything about it, at least not to the tune of $30k.

      2. Labor lawyer here. An employer generally cannot pay more than the CBA provides for, unless that is specifically negotiated with the Union. (Otherwise, it’s considered directly dealing with the employee that bypasses the union, and of course it would allow employers to advantage favored employees, also undermining the contract and the union’s authority.) So, yes, she needs to talk to the union. She can find out the contractual pay for the job, and the union – might – be able to negotiate an increase for her due to the employer’s error.

  15. Any recs for interesting indie brands I should try for workout swimsuits? Not bikinis or beachwear, but “I’m swimming 20 laps in this for cardio” suits. I feel like all the other activities I do now have cool independent brands making gear for them (yoga, biking, running…), but I still go to TYR and Speedo for my swimsuits. TIA!

    1. Hi, I swam through college and we always went to Jolyn for fun training bikinis. I think they make one pieces too. Before that was popular, Dolphin made some fun ones too but haven’t looked there in a while. Swimoutlet is another website you can shop a lot of brands

    2. Agree with Jolyn, but note that they have very skimpy rear coverage (by design) so if you have a lot of junk in the trunk, not the brand for you.

  16. Rumor has it that my employer will let employees be remote — but with a pay cut. As we think about moving, I am trying to figure out how much lower my cost of living will be in other parts of the US. Any recommendations for a cost of living adjuster?

    1. I think it’s short-sighted for employers to do that. They’re paying for the value that you bring to the company and if you can provide the full value from home (which many industries 100% can), then you should not be docked merely because you live in Phoenix while your coworkers live in Austin. We have one employee who is remote (at a small company) and she is by far the best employee in the organization, just like she was when she was still in person. She flies back a few times a year for meetings and events, although she doesn’t really NEED to.

      As for calculators, just do some Googling. There are a bunch out there and I think they’ll all give pretty similar results.

      1. There was a long discussion here a while back where that OP was going to ask to go remote without a reduction while moving to a LCOL area. She argued she was worth it, most others disagreed that the employer would just go along with it.

        1. Yes – I was going to comment the same thing. Part of your comp is your value to the company (how senior of a role you are), and part is the market rate for the COL in your area.

          1. This is a hot topic a lot of people disagree on. There isn’t a clear, 100% right answer. Personally, I believe that it’s wrong for two coworkers in the same role to have wildly differing salaries based on where exactly they live. They should be paid on how much value they can offer, not on how much home prices went up in their cities that year.

          2. @ 12:34 – but does anyone pay based on where you live or is it a matter of whether you are fully remote?
            I think it would be wrong to pay 2 remote employees doing the same exact job for the same office a different salary because one chooses to live in NYC and one decided to be in rural Iowa. But if one person is available to go in and one isn’t that is a a different story. And for the truly unique value-add employees none of this is going to matter. I know someone with a niche specialty who does most of her work in a cabin in the woods or traveling in the before times and her company is fine with it because few people can do what she does. But location definitely matters in compensation and if you take having to be in an expensive location out of the equation and don’t add another compensating factor like special, non-readily available skills, why wouldn’t the compensation change?

      2. I think it’s always been the case that there will be exceptions, but I don’t think everyone who is “remote” will qualify. And cost of living is so different between some places that I think it will ultimately make sense for companies.

      3. They are paying _as much as they need to pay_ for the value that you bring. If you are moving from Austin to Phoenix, a paycut will be painful, but if the employer can get another remote employee in Phoenix who brings the same value that you bring for less pay, you may be out of luck.

      4. This is a slippery slope. For instance, if you need to live in a VVHCOL area because you need to be able to come into the San Francisco office “sometimes” then a regional pay difference is reasonable and necessary.

        But if you’re truly 100% remote and can live anywhere, I can see companies interpreting that as paying a wage commensurate with the absolute lowest cost of living location in the country, if not the world. Don’t think companies aren’t already thinking this. Any chance to cut costs they’re on like white on rice. Don’t drive the salaries of working people further down. It just widens the already terrible wealth gap.

        1. +1. This isn’t a conversation about whether employers can do this. We know they can. The question is whether they should and I believe the answer is no.

    2. I do know if any private ones but the federal government does locality pay. So each position has a base range of pay but then you get +/- x% based on where you live. It’s not perfect but a good approximation of cost of living. Some nearby low cost of living areas get lumped in with bigger high cost of living areas. For example, all of NH is considered Boston even though Northern NH is very low cost of living.

      The Robert Half salary guide for lawyers likewise has a +/- for different locales.

    3. I am so curious about how this is working – if you feel comfortable, I’d love to know a little bit about how this went down.

      1. Same, and if there is a policy for who pays when you need to return to the home office? I am hoping that my job will let us be fully remote.

        1. Nothing’s been rolled out, and I’m very curious to see how it goes as well. The other kicker is that while I’m looking to go remote, I would just be moving from a VHCOL –> HCOL. And I’m not sure if the COL is adjusted by where you go, or just a flat reduction.

    4. They are allowing employees to be remote for a pay cut, while enjoying the perks of lower utility and leasing costs for less in office staff? That is horrible. Pay is not dependent on where you work (except for company-wide cost of living adjustments based on market) but rather the talent you bring. This is awful.

        1. But if employees don’t like it, they can just not exercise the remote work option, no?

    5. When I was comparing grad schools, I used bestplaces.net’s cost of living comparison tool.

    6. Sperlings allows you to compare places on a lot of factors, but idk how the data is gathered. I’ve used it before in moves.

  17. Pre pandemic Florida was always my getaway usually in Dec-Feb for a week or two. Nice weather, quick flight from the east coast etc. Usually I’d go to West Palm or Miami. Given how people are going to Fla to party mask less and many native Fla people have lived like the pandemic was NBD, can we assume the pandemic will go on there for a while — with variants etc? I’ve never been sure of true case rates, vaccination etc there. Is this someplace you’d go once you’re vaccinated or avoid for a year or two? Are there parts of the state that are better than others in terms of behavior? And if you’d avoid – what’s a similar 2 hour flight from the northeast where you can get beaches and palm trees (domestic)?

    2. Oh sorry-didn’t see the domestic caveat. Georgia and South Carolina are other places that come to mind but not sure how much better they’d be? US Virgin Islands/PR? (not strictly domestic but..)

    3. We have spent about 2 months in the coastal Naples area during the pandemic. Once you’re there, it’s easy to behave responsibly – outdoor dining or takeout, staying apart from others on the beach, masks when shopping, etc.

      My in-laws report that the number of vaccinated elderly is now at such a critical mass that the restaurants are crowded with vaccinated seniors.

      1. Good for them! I’m glad that many elderly people are able to safely be out and about now.

      2. How do they know the seniors in the restaurants are vaccinated? My in-laws were down there partying like it was 1999 even before they were vaxxed.

        1. OP from the Naples comment – because my MIL can talk to a brick wall, she is chatting them all up while waiting outside to be seated!

      3. I am now in Naples and I agree it’s easy to be responsible (and we are a cautious household). All the big box stores require masks, as do grocery stores, the library, etc. It’s easy enough to avoid indoor dining altogether, or avoid outdoor dining that isn’t socially distanced. We go to the beach without masks and we are easily far enough apart from others. Are there morons at sports bars? Yes, but I don’t need to be near them. Can’t wait til I get residency to vote Scott, Rubio and DeSantis OUT!

        1. lol @ the morons in sports bars comment – that is the perfect way to describe it.

        2. The problem is that you do have to be near the morons who go to sports bars. Your kids go to school with their kids. They shop at the grocery store and visit the dentist.

          1. My children are grown, so thankfully no issues there. The grocery stores do require masks, and while there are always a few morons who can’t figure out how to cover their noses, that happened up north as well. People do seem to be giving one another berth when walking on the sidewalk, etc. Of course, we still wear masks, social distance, and have not been in any crowds, and we’re very selective about any outdoor dining we do and keep it to a minimum. There’s no way I’d be part of a party of 8 at a restaurant at this point.

      4. My parents are in Florida as well. They went out to dinner in a group of 8 people last weekend, and they said 7 of the 8 people were fully vaccinated. The only person who wasn’t was a healthy 62-year-old.

        Everything I have read so far says that the vaccines are effective at preventing hospitalization and death, even against the variants. Until that changes, I am not at all worried about my own safety post-vaccine. I will continue to follow public health recommendations (masks, avoiding indoor crowds) for others’ benefit until vaccines are available to every adult who wants one.

      5. My dad lives in Naples/Ft Myers area and he’s also said that mask compliance is high there.

    4. Hawaii. You have to go further but it’s much more beautiful than Florida, is still part of the US, and has been excellent about pandemic precautions.

  18. Latest from the chronicles of the New Boss: her hands are very dry. She scratches them constantly and loudly. Today in a meeting, she would scratch-scratch-scratch, then wipe the skin flakes off the desk in front of her, then repeat. Ad nauseum. I mentioned this to my boss, who said, “Oh, I know. She does that on my desk whenever she’s in my office.”

    I know she has hand lotion because she offered me some just a few days ago when I was in her office for a minute. Ohgodwhy.

    1. Not to be that person but this could be a sign/symptom of a medical problem or disability so tread very carefully.

      1. She does have psoriasis. My main gripe is the getting skin flakes on other people’s desks. Surely that’s avoidable?

          1. OK, looks like I should have thought about that before I spoke. Thanks for weighing in.

    2. No offense Vicky, but we really don’t need gross updates like this. I wasn’t going to say anything but every time I refresh the page and scroll through the comments it grosses me out again.

    3. Gossiping about your boss’s skin condition to your superior is certainly not a good look.

    4. This is both very mean and very gross Vicky. Especially that you are gossiping to others about it

    5. I don’t want to pile on, but this is the sort of thing you shouldn’t be talking about with coworkers.

    6. You’re going to have a lot of new bosses / colleagues / change etc. over your career and you’re going to need to deal. You are the unprofessional one in this situation.

  19. Trying this a second time, b/c of course my internet dropped just as I hit ‘enter’. HELP ME WITH MY INTERNET PLEASE. Long story short: DH and I are plagued with unusable wifi in our small apt in an old building. We’ve tried all internet companies we know of, we’ve upgraded to the highest speeds every time, we have tried every router including ones meant for 15+ devices. Our internet is unusably slow no matter what. Where to I go from here? I’ve exhausted options with customer service, technician appointments, etc.

    3. I’ve had this issue twice – the solutions are noted below.

      The first time, when the cable company had installed my modem they accidentally installed an older version – it was a few years out of date and had known issues and was not supposed to be used anymore. I tried everything you described, and the internet company came to my house 3 times before they realized the issue.

      The second time, the issue was how thick the plaster walls were in our home. I needed to get a special device to amplify the signal (so more than just a new router). This was quite a few years ago now so it may be that routers can handle this issue on their own now.

      1. OP here, I think your second tip might be on the money! The wall that our wires run through is suuuuper thick and is connected to an exterior brick wall. We had issues mounting our TV because of it (we were ultimately able to do it but it was complicated). Thank you!!!

    4. As an actual worst-case scenario, can you get a hotspot thing from one of the cellular carriers?

    5. I had this situation and a Verizon Wireless MHS900L Ellipsis Jetpack, MiFi Hotspot works great. After purchase (mine’s old so don’t know current price), ~30/month, 1st 15 GB 5G then drops to 3G (which also works fine for WFH)

  20. OP here. I doubt it. I suspected my aging laptop was the cause earlier in the pandemic when I started WFH, but I got a brand new Lenovo and its no different. DH has also gotten a new laptop. Mine is much slower than his because Citrix requires a strong connection, and he doesn’t use Citrix. Using Citrix is mandatory for me.

    1. 1) wired Ethernet connection to the source
      2) a mesh network, not the outdated signal boosters

      But mostly 1

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