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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Everly Rib Short-Sleeve Sweater

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A woman wearing a red short-sleeve sweater and blue jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’m such a huge fan of elbow-length sleeves, especially in the winter. They’re long enough to provide some warmth, but there’s nothing blousy to interfere with my typing or gesturing. They layer nicely under blazers and big cardigans but still provide enough coverage so that you don’t look like you’re confused about the seasons. A win all around!

This ribbed sweater from matty m would go nicely with so many of my work outfits, but as I’m sitting in my office before bolting for the holidays, I think it would go best with jeans and cocktails. 

The sweater is $88 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XXS-XXL. 

Sales of note for 1/15:

137 Comments

  1. I’ve discovered that most of my office-appropriate long-sleeved tops are too big this season. I’m browsing the Nordstrom sale to find just a few to get me through to spring (I’m actively losing weight and looking to lose probably 10-15 more).

    I like this top, but is it dated? FWIW, office is biz casual. I would pair with basic black pants or even black jeans:

    https://www.nordstrom.com/s/loveappella-faux-tie-wrap-top/7577731?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FSale%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FTops%2FUnder%20%2450&fashionsize=size%2FWomens%20Clothing%2F10%2C%20M&color=604

    1. it doesn’t feel very current but that doesn’t mean you can’t wear it. I have a sleeveless version of this (in the burgundy actually like exactly the same) and i wore it under a suit last week.

      I think these synthetic shirts feel less current.

    2. I think it would look great as a versatile top. You could throw a blazer or jardigan over it and tuck in the tie part for a different look. If it fits with your style, I say go for it.

    3. it looks kind of ~20 years ago to my eye since I wore tops like this to my college internships buuuuuuuut apparently that means it’s time for them to be stylish again so there’s that.

    4. I’ve been disappointed with the pilling but it should move with you as you keep losing. Pin the inside panel to your bra!

    7. I like it! Maybe that means I like dated things lol but I think it is nice. A wrap top is kind of a classic shape isn’t it?

  2. Well the holidays are upon us. What annoying thing has your family said or done so far?

    My mother told me to put my 5 month old on a diet. I was hoping that the fact that he’s not a girl might save him from grandma’s body shaming comments, but alas, that’s not to be. Might be in the running for top 3 worst things my mother has ever said to me, right behind “he didn’t have a good life anyway” (when my very elderly cat, who I’d had since he was 8 weeks, died) and “oh the ugly one?” (about my wedding dress).

    1. We tried to have children but it didn’t work out, and made peace with it. Brother has now produced my parents’ first grandchild, which is great!

      Except my mom keeps making little remarks like ‘well if it were yours…’ in the context of how she’d be more comfortable doing something or saying something if it were her daughter’s child rather than her son’s, at risk of offending DIL. She’s not trying to be hurtful but yikes reliving the imaginary baby we never had is rough.

    2. My sister always hosts her MIL for a full two weeks over Christmas, spends the entire time complaining about her, and also never makes any plans to get everyone out of the house. Like yeah, having such a long visit and no plans other than hanging out on the couch doesn’t sound very fun. They’re all able-bodied and they live somewhere with snow and they don’t even go sledding. I just ignore most of the complaints at this point but I’m sleep-deprived myself today and finding them annoying right now.

    3. That’s truly awful. My mom is terrible with the weight comments (and the pet loss comments actually), but at least she believes in chubby babies!

      I am currently annoyed with a younger, thoroughly vaccinated relative who is very familiar with infectious disease control as part of a day job that requires it, but who nevertheless decided to spend a sick day hanging out while sick with an older unvaccinated relative, right before testing positive for COVID.

      1. Isn’t it your unvaccinated relative’s choice to a) not get vaccinated and b) hang out with a sick person? Not sure why this bothers you.

        1. Some people can’t get vaccinated for health reasons. They rely on the rest of us exercising common sense.

        2. Unvaccinated relative is delusional about medicine to the point of denying germ theory and contagion, but also very afraid of getting sick. This is someone who has cautioned me against rabies vaccination when indicated. That’s more of a perpetual thing that is also annoying.

          Younger relative does know how contagion works and masks routinely while sick to protect other people’s loved ones, so I just don’t get what they were thinking this time around.

          2. If they deny germ theory but are also afraid of getting sick how do they believe viruses spread?

          4. They think that poor lifestyle habits and bad mental health are what make people get sick and throw around terms like “terrain theory.” It’s a bunch of antivaxx stuff that makes my head hurt! But the irony is that they were being more logically consistent to their beliefs in this instance.

        1. They’re afraid of the risks of vaccination, which they believe are astronomical. This seems to be the usual reason for people who don’t have any special medical concern.

    4. Replying to myself here – I’m just now remembering that last Christmas, when I first told my mom I was pregnant, her reaction was, “you’d better be ready for an abortion considering how old you are.” Not sure how I managed to block that one from memory! I guess the shtty comments about my baby are our family’s newest Christmas tradition. Hooray.

      3. I’ve found that some boomers make the most idiotic comments on pregnancy. I got “at least it wasn’t a real pregnancy” when I disclosed a miscarriage at 10 weeks (after we had seen the heartbeat – not that it matters). That was the worst in several rounds of truly stupid takes.

        1. Why must there be a generational insult in reporting this? I find there are thoughtless, careless people of all ages.

          1. Because any offensive comment I’ve ever gotten about pregnancy has come from a Boomer. Not true for everyone everywhere but it’s been my experience to a T. Whether it’s fatphobia or misinformation or “momnesia” about what it was like with their own kids (no, your 2-week old wasn’t sleeping through the night), they’ve got it all.

      4. Things like this is why some people choose to go no contact. Especially when the comments start on the kids.

        1. Still not justified. Yes, the comments are bad but you can use your words and say that. These are still your parents.

          1. The harm done by terrible comments is sometimes proportionate to how much control the person speaking had over you when you were a helpless child. I’m team “use my words and say that,” but I got therapy, I’m pretty resilient, and I’m willing to hang up the phone or walk out if it continues. Even then, my husband and best friends can tell if I’ve talked to my mom that day because apparently it shows in a negative way.

            For family who are in a worse place, I hope they’ll do whatever they need to to stay well when a parent’s jibes are the only thing that makes their mental health spiral and they’re otherwise doing great.

          3. It’s justified. No one has any obligation to subject herself to verbal abuse just because it is coming from a parent. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Being a parent doesn’t give you a right to a captive audience for your verbal abuse.

          4. How about when you use your words and it makes no difference in how your parent behaves?

          5. Is “cut your parents out” going to be the new DTMFA kneejerk response here?

            agree that sometimes it is warranted, but probably not most of the time. (for DTMFA i’ve seen it for some wildly innocuous things.)

          6. Anonymous at 1:10 – why are you derailing? Disagreeing with the contention that cutting one’s parents off is never justified does not mean that “cut your parents off” is going to be a kneejerk response. That’s what we call a “straw man.”

          7. Wrong. Emotionally abusive parents do not respond well when you “use your words.” They are never wrong and they are never sorry, so “using your words” only results in a more severe tongue lashing in response. My mother cannot be trusted not to hurt me, so I am no contact with her other than the most superficial card in the mail a couple of times a year. Do not judge me; you have no idea what a mother like this is like or what I need to do to protect myself from her hurtful words. I could give you many examples similar to OP’s, and then there’s this gem: “If abortion had been legal when I was pregnant with you, I would have had one!” OP, I see and hear you. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

      5. I’m kind of flabbergasted that you are still subjecting yourself to this person. I hope she has some redeeming qualities!

    5. So far, two days in, my mother hasn’t said anything specifically awful. She will. But being around her is extremely stressful and every time we visit I am stunned that my sister and I survived this level of constant stress and fear of upsetting her in our childhoods. For example, she and my sister are staying at a hotel in a location I am very familiar with but which I had never actually seen. When I drove them from the airport, we had to circle the block twice because there is no hotel signage on the street and it wasn’t apparent where the turn-in was. The level of histrionics about never finding it (never!), wondering if we were on the wrong road entirely (I knew we were not and said so), suggesting she might have made a reservation at a hotel that does not exist, commenting on how deficient I am to live here and not know where to turn, and near tears as she was panic-searching her phone for the reservation – devolving inside the few minutes it took to circle one block twice – was unnerving. The same level of histrionics followed just a couple of hours later when I had us walk a full one-half block in the wrong direction to dinner before realigning, after getting turned around because we unexpectedly had to park in a different deck further from and around the corner from the restaurant. She stopped on the street, stared at me with grave disapproval and a pout, sighed, gritted her teeth making passive aggressive noises, and then grumbling as searched her phone, with hands shaking, for a map while pleading with me, in near tears, to please pull up a map on my phone and saying we were going to miss our reservation. (We were 1.5 blocks away and 20 minutes early. I just thought we were on a street perpendicular to rather than parallel to the restaurant.) The thing is, as bad as it is for me, I can’t imagine how she lives this way herself.

      1. At a certain point, if you haven’t tried to change things, you’re making a choice to live like that.

        1. Or you’ve tried really hard and failed and simply lack the resources to make it happen successfully?

          1. You’re responding to a comment about people who *haven’t* tried. Obviously it’s different to try hard and fail.

          2. I think the comment below about insight really matters here. What looks like trying to someone who /doesn’t know what is actually wrong with them/ and doesn’t have the resources to figure it out can be hard to recognize. But it is very common that people who are ill need intervention and help, and the fact that they haven’t made it happen on their own doesn’t always mean they won’t lift a finger once they get it.

      2. Is she like this at home?

        It’s pretty common for older people to struggle with new locations, unfamiliar environments and panic a bit when overwhelmed. I often see my mom stressed about the same kinds of activities or situations that she used to tell us ‘our grandmother is older and this is new for her so she’s having a hard time’. She’s that person now. Very stressed about new environments and changes to routine.

      3. Not being mean with this — she sounds like she needs medication. Perhaps recommend she talk to someone?

      4. I’ve never felt more seen. This was my mother 20 years ago. She’s 80 now and doesn’t leave her house much anymore. She has been coming to me to see the baby — surprisingly — but it’s a production every time.

        And you’re right, I can’t imagine how unpleasant it is to live this way. I’ve been trying to convince her to get treatment for her anxiety for nearly 30 years but she is convinced that there’s nothing wrong with her.

        1. I’ve been through a lot of tough things in recent years, but two of the very toughest involved situations where the person had no idea about their affliction. It’s called anosognosia – lack of insight into their condition. We dealt with it in a psychotic break situation and in Alzheimer’s and both were so, so challenging.

        2. My parents are both very anxious and very in denial. And now dealing with some dementia, which adds a new layer of perplexity. My brothers and I convinced my mother to go see a therapist, and she actually came back to us to ask why we suggested it, because her therapist couldn’t figure out why she was there. I guess she wasn’t being very open with the therapist?! I think she eventually decided to go on antidepressants, which was a good middle ground for her.

          We still joke about the time we convinced my anxious father to try getting a Christmas tree at a tree farm instead of Lowe’s, where he normally went. When he finally agreed to try it, he said, “I guess we’ll roll the dice!” Shockingly, the Russian Roulette tree shopping excursion ended with no casualties.

        3. Yeah, she is Silent Generation edging on Boomer and not particularly open to therapy or medication. She has been very critical/dismissive of both me and my sister when we’ve mentioned seeking one or the other. She did seek therapy when I was a kid, but largely around her marriage and frustrations with parenting my sister, which I think welas okay because it was their fault, not about her own issues. She seems to have been stunted in her maturity at some point and I’m not sure it’s worth addressing in her 80s. To address the question above – this behavior occurs in any location, familiar or not, if there is another person in her proximity who is failing in any way. She’s not at all one who is afraid to be outside of familiar environs – travels internationally by herself regularly, etc. It is the audacity of others to be imperfect that is the bane of her existence.

      5. Oh my, we may be long-lost sisters. This is exactly how my mom would behave in similar circumstances. Completely uncalled-for.

    6. I am SO sorry. I love fat babies, they are 100% the best, fat is for growing and brains and she is ridiculous!

      My MIL asking in a scared, overly dramatic little voice if we knew how much 4-year colleges cost and were we really thinking of sending our daughter, a senior in high school. We know, we have saved for this, and we haven’t asked my in-laws for a dime.

      1. Not the whisper! Maybe you should tell your MIL that you want to make sure your daughter can get her Mrs. degree.

        1. YESSSSS. That’s the ticket. The only trouble with that is that MIL is still obsessed with her first husband and she met first husband in college so it will be a long lecture about first husband (my spouse’s father).

          1. Wait, is she remarried? I kind of want you to encourage her to deliver this paean to your spouse’s father.

    7. On a lighter note, when I was talking with my teenage niece and comparing our HS experiences, she groaned and said “yes, but you were in high school in the 1900’s. It’s not at all the same.” True, but devastating nonetheless. :)

      1. We just saddled up those dinos and rode in! I do appreciate how little photo/video evidence there is of my teen years.

    8. Well…I’m divorced. The children are with him this year.

      Since last week I have not spoken to my eldest child. She is a teen and has decided to not talk to me. Daddy is fin with this.

      My ex mother in law is exhausted looking after the children while her golden child does nothing. She complained to the children that I should have provided them with better clothing for the trip.

      The best insult came from my father who thought it was terrible that I dont visit him in Canada for the 25th. In working the 24th and 26th. Yes I’m on my own and yes it’s glorious. He was offended that I’m going to the Korean spa for Christmas Day.

      I can’t think of a better way to spend Christmas Day than at a day spa.

  3. I feel like we’ve come pretty far for body positivity and yet I’m still a bit puzzled by thong and cheeky bathing suits. I feel like they take up a lot of bandwidth when wading through websites and my guess is that not only does a tiny subset of women ever consider wearing these, but the body hair grooming requirements are likely immense. And it’s the one type of suit where they never even show a size 8 or 10 woman in them.

    OTOH, I recently tried a simple Andie one-piece. (I don’t work there and my most recent prior suit was an Tyr that worked for swimming laps but erased any sign of having a chest). And while maybe I’d have liked a hair more coverage in the seat, I didn’t hate how I looked from the front. Counting that as a win.

    1. I personally like cheeky bathing suits and wear them, even though I’m a fairly modest late 30s woman. I’m petite, so cheeky bottoms seem to just look cute rather than too revealing, and less … dowdy? for lack of a better word? than bottoms with more coverage. All this is to say, you might be surprised and find you like them. But I do agree with you that they seem to be everywhere.

    2. Butts are in. A friend went to an American-heavy Caribbean resort and was surprised that so many butts were on display. And not just young skinny butts, all ages and sizes.

    3. I’m a big fan of Nani suits. They fit well and while they’re on the sportier side they still look cute.

      1. Also a fan of Nani. I prefer 2 pieces and my criteria is “will this stay on/in place while boogie boarding” which can be harder with a two piece and these work great. (also Athleta usually has some that work).

      2. I love the aesthetic and the style but I found the durability very poor and I also can’t stand a sporty suit having those stupid removable cups. l can’t jump off a 12-foot rock into an alpine lake and have those stay in place.

    4. I assumed (haha ASSumed) that the rise in cheeky suits was simply another cost-cutting effort.

    5. my guess is that the average woman only has a few lounging bathing suits — serious swimmers won’t buy the cheeky/thong ones, and neither will moms taking their kids to the beach or waterparks.

      but the ladies who live the resort life probably both want those bikinis and have the time and energy to put towards the body of their dreams. and there’s enough money there that almost every brand has a “resort collection.” plus there’s honeymooners, spring breakers, etc.

      1. Ha!

        I think “resort collection” and instantly think of swanning around in really excellent caftans. Like on Ab Fab or The White Lotus.

    7. You can pry my swim shorts out of my cold, dead hands. (Off my cold, dead butt…)

    8. The cheeky bathing suits are fine when they don’t have a seam up the butt crack and the gusset section covers sufficiently.

      Im European and a lot of the swimsuits here in the US cut low. I’ve always bought my swimwear in Europe before ‘butt cut’ became mainstream here.

  4. For people who have had neuromas, did you go to a podiatrist (foot doctor) or your regular doctor? I am having trouble navigating who does what because they both seem to have jurisdiction over feet. And unlike chiropractors, podiatrists seem like legitimate medical providers.

    I don’t know for sure that it is a neuroma, but it is feeling like a marble under the ball of my foot and is at the point where I feel like Dr. Google would escalate this to an actual office visit with someone before it gets worse.

    1. Podiatrists are absolutely legit foot doctors. For an ankle I might try an orthopedist (although podiatrists do ankles too), but for a foot problem like you describe, absolutely see a podiatrist.

    2. Podiatrist. He asked me to bring all my shoes with me (which… were many) and then explained which ones I should stop wearing because they were responsible for aggravating the neuroma. Gave away many (high heels, pointy toes, no support) but have kept a couple of the offenders for sitting rather than commuting. Daily pain has gone away by following his instructions to look for shoes with wide toe boxes, low/no heels, stiffer soles, and arch support. Hope you find relief soon!

      1. I’m not saying they are shady, but when it comes to allergies or my back, I go to a doctor over a chiropractor always. If my back is just sore, that’s what a massage is for (also vs a chiropractor).

        Here, two legit types of providers share the same body part. IDK why this is or how it arose or how to choose one vs the other. I guess if you break your foot, maybe you go to a doctor. But the podiatrist can also do an xray (but also seems to do things like diabetes foot care and ingrown toenails and fungus on nails that can make them seem like a toe is growing a horn that needs to be filed down).

        1. Podiatrists and chiropractors have nothing to do with each other. I don’t know why you would compare them.

          1. Because this is the medical anxiety poster. Which type of doctor has “jurisdiction” of each part of the body is a recurring worry.

    4. I think my regular doctor would send me to a podiatrist. Up to you if you want to skip that step.

    5. Podiatrist. I’ve had two over the years (different feet) and in both cases the discomfort went away with a single cortisone shot. I hope it’s that simple for you!

  5. Regarding the question yesterday about executors, multiple children, and death of a parent: why would people be fighting/bickering or why would it take up to a year if there is a will? I understood that was the point of a will; to distribute your estate as you wanted?

    1. Why do people who are getting divorced spend more to argue over household appliances than the appliances are worth? Because human beings can always find something to argue about. While a will (or better yet a trust) is a great way to distribute substantial assets, most of the time people do not bother to designate who is getting their personal property unless it is particularly valuable.

      And then there are the fights over whether the executor should collect or waive their fee,whether to sell the house for the first offer or hold onto it in the hopes of getting more, whether a family member who covered a pre-death expenses should be reimbursed, whether a family member absconded with something,, etc., etc.

    2. My parents had a lot of mutual funds that are JTROS. Should be easy — just send a death certificate and they will convert it to the surviving spouse alone. But now. Each fund family requires something wildly different. And so much paperwork that an older arthritic person cannot manage easily, especially if they don’t drive or use a computer and if they can’t get a medallion guaranty. Tasks that are annoying for a driving city-living adult with access to notaries are not for a homebound elder, especially if there is any question about their mental status and you also need for a financial firm to accept a POA for the surviving spouse.

    3. Do not underestimate the ability of siblings to use the probate process to air out every grievance against their sibling and/or parent. I can’t tell you how many times I just want to tell grown adults that they are not deserving of more money or things based on their perceived performance as a child, but so many use this to address perceived slights. Also, most wills don’t enumerate every belonging of the deceased.

    4. In my grandparent’s case, it took a long time because you have to file taxes for a dead person and there was out-of-state property to address.

    5. It always takes time to go through the probate process. I think it took over 6 months for my dad to get his distributions from his mother’s estate and that was a simple will, not contested, not any complicated estate or tax situations.

    6. In my late FIL’s case, my husband was trying to use my FIL’s attorney, since he was the one who had drafted the will, and we live on the other side of the country. Unfortunately the attorney was also very elderly, and became unresponsive for weeks at a time. We eventually learned he was hospitalized and intubated. He lived in a small town and practiced alone, and my husband was worried how it would impact his career to get to get him legally removed from the estate while he was unable to respond. But then he died, so we were able to change attorneys. It still took a while – the wheels turn slowly in small towns. My FIL also had a bunch of different bank accounts and various pensions and retirement vehicles, plus the FIL was the executor of another estate that he had never bothered to close, which my husband eventually dealt with.

    7. A will does NOT mean you avoid probate, it just makes it a little easier.

  6. can someone please explain to me the appeal of the jellycat diner at FAO schwartz? it literally seems like the dumbest thing ever.

    1. I think this is cute! It’s an experience, unique to NYC (as far as I’m aware). To me, it has the same appeal as the American Girl store did when the only one was in Chicago.

      I think in a world where every mall has the same stores and we can find anything on the internet, a niche shopping experience is novel! Would I go to the Jellycat diner? Probably not, but I don’t hate the idea.

    2. Now it seems to at least include a drink? When we were in nyc last year there was a line around the whole store of people waiting to have their stuffed pancake ‘cooked,’ by an employee. And most of the people in line were not children! My kids thought it was so strange. Pretend cooking a stuffed animal is just odd

    3. I also don’t really get it and I have a 7 year old girl in her peak American Girl era who loooooves the AG store experiences including lunch and the salon.
      I’ve mainly heard of Jellycat Diner from influencers, which may be rubbing me the wrong way (whereas I grew up with AG myself in the pre-internet era). My in-laws live in NYC and we’ve gone to FAO Schwarz exactly once. My kid was excited until she realized she couldn’t afford anything even with a lot of saved up allowance money — AG is expensive but FAO is on a different price level. We saw multiple four figure toys the one time we went. And at the holidays you apparently have to wait in a long line just to get in?! To a store?? It doesn’t make any sense to me.

    4. I just went with my 10 year old daughter and her friends and they all loved it. I think in a world where upper middle class kids like mine have way more toys than they can reasonably love, this is a fun way of getting a “special” toy. That said, it was a friend who made the reservation because I would never have tried that hard to make it happen, even though my kid LOVES any stuffed animal that looks like a food.
      I would never have gone just as an adult or if my kid was not super into it.

    5. I’ve lived in NYC for 20+ years and never heard of this before. We did take our son to FAO Schwartz once before it closed, which was fine. I am honestly not sure I had heard it had reopened.

      We have a friend who is a lifelong New Yorker who has a rule that he won’t wait to eat at any restaurant in town. Honestly, it is a good policy – there are too many good restuarants around to wait in line for something that is hot on Instagram.

  7. I know there are a lot of current or former biglaw attorneys on this board. Can we normalize saying “no” when you’re overwhelmed? Isn’t it (or shouldn’t it be) an ethical requirement to take on only as much as you can do well? And shouldn’t it also be an ethical requirement to staff your matters appropriately so no one is working while exhausted and distracted?

    I’m a partner now so I’m coming at it from a different angle than when I was an associate. When I was an associate, I was exhausted but my work ethic kept me going. Now, I’m horrified by this culture of billing 20 hours a day. My clients don’t want to pay for anyone’s 20th hour of the day. Staff your matters responsibly. I’m junior enough that I still get tapped by other partners to work on (really, take over) matters. If they’re not willing to commit to responsible staffing, I’m saying no. Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.

    And thinking about this, here’s my New Year’s resolution – this is my year of no. I’ve been back from maternity leave for 2 weeks and I’ve already been asked to handle 2 expedited matters for clients of other partners with the caveat that there is “downward pressure” on the bill. I said no to both. I am neither physically nor cognitively capable of working 12+ hours a day rn. And regardless of my current stamina, I’m not working for a client who can’t pay us. Ok NOW my Ted Talk is over!

    1. So proud of your wisdom and leadership on this. Especially only two weeks back from mat leave which is a tough time for anyone. Take care of yourself because work won’t.

    2. I don’t disagree, but no one is going to pay to staff 7 to do the work of 5. Do I think that we’d all be better off doing a bit less over more bodies? Absolutely. Even if for growing at a slightly slower rate and making ratably less $.

      I now share an admin with 7 other people. I am just happy my conflicts checks are submitted and new matters opened. I’d be nervous about asking for more.

      I watched the Dolly Parton movie 9-to-5 and wanted to cry because it was so long ago and not much has changed. It’s a great movie though.

      1. They’re paying by the hour though. Whether it’s 7 people or 5 people working 300 hrs/week, the client is paying the same amount.

        I know some clients don’t like seeing a lot of names on the bill, but that’s a client management issue. If the partner can’t show the client that it’s not a matter of 7 people doing the work of 5, it’s 5 doing the work of 7, and that creates inefficiencies and poor work product, then either the lawyer isn’t a very good lawyer or the client is an unworthy client.

        1. That’s what gets charged out to a client. I’m talking about the overhead of keeping them employed at a firm essentially on stand-by, waiting to get added to an assignment.

          When I worked retail, people standing around would get sent home because they wouldn’t pay us just to breathe air. We were always cleaning or straightening. Law firms aren’t like that.

          TBH, I wouldn’t want our staffing model for a hospital, where people are more fungible in skills so that one shift of labor and deliver nurses clocks out even if their patient is still in labor and someone else picks up and you continue on. Here, you’d have one person burning the candle at both ends or no depth of bench if someone gets sick or is on leave.

    3. I’m a BigLaw partner, and I do this. I say no all the time. I encourage my team to say no as needed. All we can do is engage in the best behavior and model it for others.

    4. Someone needs to globally give people permission to turn down work that doesn’t pay. I always record every hour accurately for those. The knucklehead who agreed to the engagement can explain to the management committee why this was a good idea.

      There is too much pressure to keep people 100% utilized and not adapt to a world where people are say expected to be at 80% realistically.

    5. the problem is the financial incentives work against everyone. A 2000 per year billable requirement means billing 40 hours a week for 50 weeks. Taking out all the one-off holiday days, you’re left with no buffer to take an actual vacation or get sick, unless you bill more than 40 per week ahead of time or to catch up. Discretionary bonuses only get higher and higher the more over 2000 you go. And that’s billable time- no one is 100% efficient at being able to bill every minute of the day.

      Show me a firm that allows up to X hours of PTO to count toward your billable target, or allows client development work to be treated as billable, or caps your bonus eligibility at Y billable hours to encourage you to spread the work around and delegate….

      1. I maintain that if law firms cared even a little bit as much about mental health/attorney wellness as they claim to, the single best thing they could do to promote that would be to count PTO toward your billable target. But I’ve never heard of a firm that actually does this.

      2. I wish 2,000 was the standard. My team isn’t billing less than 2,400 per year.

        1. Yeah 2,000 is a typical minimum for being eligible to receive your bonus… not the unspoken ‘you’re an in demand good associate’ requirement, which is higher!

  8. For those of you with nice suede shoes and boots, what sort of suede care do you do that works?

    I tried a suede stain eraser once that shredded the suede right off and am nervous now about wrecking a new pair of tan suede booties.

    2. tbh, I seldom wear them out of doors, unless it’s a brand specifically designed for it like Aquatalia.

  9. Out of curiosity has anyone dabbled in things like Quest tests where you can just go check your hormones and vitamin levels and so forth at a reasonable out of pocket cost without a doctor signing off?

    I’m always annoyed that you have to beg doctors to run tests like Vitamin D, TSH, etc. Looking at the tests I don’t think I’ve ever seen my levels of cortisol, melatonin, leptin, iodine, etc.

    1. Nope.

      I want the education and training of my excellent doctor to order the right tests for me and interpret them correctly in light of everything else she knows about me. I don’t want to worry about a lab reading that is abnormal, but fine in the bigger picture. I also don’t want to fail to take action about something that is normal, but actually indicative of a problem in light of other information. I don’t want to worry about false positives or negatives on tests that aren’t all that accurate.

      1. +1. First of all, find a better doctor. Checking Vitamin D levels is very basic.

        When I’ve gotten bloodwork my doctor comments on every result individually as well as the results holistically to explain why they are or are not concerned. For example my LDL is always high. My doctor comments that my high HDL levels functionally even it out, so there’s no immediate concern. But given my family history of heart disease they’d like to continue annual monitoring and they’ll make a note in my chart. A random diagnostic lab would just flag my LDL levels as outside a healthy range, imply there’s an imminent health risk, and I would frantically schedule an appointment with my PCP thinking I might die of a heart attack before I can see them.

        2. My very good and very expensive insurance no longer covers Vit D tests. My doctor says that’s the case for many insurers in the last few years.

          1. The price has gone up a lot, while the accuracy has increasingly been questioned. Some doctors are proceeding on a cautious clinical basis.

    2. No, but I have definitely gone and found a better doctor before. A good doctor will sign off on indicated testing. Hear them out though! Some vitamin and hormone tests are a lot less helpful than they look or can be misleading.

    3. I feel like vitamin d and tag are things that any doctor should willingly check when you ask at a physical. I’m not sure there’s value in checking cortisol, leptin, iodine, etc just because, but my doctor has always checked things I’ve asked for when I explain why I’m asking.

    4. Look for a functional medicine doctor. There is absolutely value in more thorough bloodwork, but you’ll want a doctor who can interpret it properly.

  11. Does anyone have a favorite recipe for making gingerbread (the kind you roll out and cut shapes out of). I know there are a ton on the Internet but would love to know about one that you have personally tried-and-tested! Thanks!

      3. Vote against Sally’s. Used it recently and didn’t like it (specifically found the adhesion of the dough / texture during the rolling and cutting pretty bad). My sister swears by Love and Lemons and tbh her gingerbread cookies are amazing. Perfect texture and taste.

      1. Can’t go wrong with King Arthur Flour tried and true recipes. That and Fannie Farmer.

  12. Want to share this but not in real life:

    Office is closed for the year so I just got my final paycheck. On a salary of $135k I saved $27k this year including retirement contributions (but not match). And then overall my investments went up 12.4% for the year. So despite some unexpected apartment expenses, pretty much on track for the year!

    (I never know whether that 20% savings rate is supposed to include retirement savings or not)

    Early 30s, single, no kids, major city

    2. Fantastic! Congratulations on making future you a priority. With inflation, that’s a real accomplishment.

    5. Well done!

      To answer your question, savings are savings. The 20% savings rate includes retirement contributions in my world and is calculated on your gross income, not net.

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