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I was procrastinating a few weeks ago and archiving old personal emails, and I found an old one from a good friend, noting that she had just been appointed to a Women's Leadership Council at the office and wanted to pick my brain for ideas.
I've seen her several times since then (a lot, actually!) and it never came up, so even though the email was several years old I wrote back and said HEY, how is/was this women's leadership thing? She wrote back quickly, laughing about how it had been awful, plagued by drama and bad leadership, and she bowed out when some family needs became more pressing.
Then I started thinking about how the story of her women's leadership group was… not that unusual. Kind of common, actually.
So here's today's topic: What female-only networking groups are you a part of now, have been a part of in the past, or would like to be a part of in the future? What has been your best experience with them — what is that organization getting right? What's been your worst experience with them? Do you seek women-centric organizations, or do you think they've outgrown their usefulness? (I'm guessing there's going to be an age gap in opinions here, so where possible please state your age!)
Looking around the web, it seems like there's a lot to confirm this suspicion — “Why Women's Networking Groups Fail” is a pretty common headline! (I'll put some links at the bottom of this post.)
So let's discuss — what women's networking group are you in that's doing it RIGHT? Which women's networking groups have you done in the past that felt like a waste of time or failure?
For my $.02…
My best women's networking group experience: I'm proud to be a member of a small women's leadership council from my undergraduate university, and I would describe it as a very nourishing experience.
The women are from different walks of life — they live in different parts of the country, and there's a broad range of ages, income levels, and more — but it's really fantastic to hear how the women have navigated various personal and career transitions in their lives or, to be honest, even that they HAVE had so many transitions.
For example, at one of my first events I was asked to introduce myself, and I somewhat quickly noted that I had been a journalist, then a media lawyer, and now have a blog for women lawyers and other overachieving chicks — somewhat embarrassed that I have been in not one, not two, but THREE careers in my lifetime.
But I was fascinated to hear how many other women introduced themselves with MORE than that — jaunts to grad school, years of leaning out, lots of right turns and zigzags.
It's actually really common for women to have a labyrinthine path through life, but it's something you wouldn't really know if you look at Sheryl Sandberg's career or Ruth Bader Ginsburg's, for example. (This, of course, makes me think of the recurring lightning bolt/zigzag from one of my favorite movies.)
Psst: These are some of our favorite books if you're considering changing your career
My worst women's networking experience: I remember attending a lot of panels on work-life balance and women networking events for lawyer-related things, and hearing a lot of “advice” coming from extraordinarily privileged women who had come from significant money, married into more money, and then proceeded to have incredibly high-paying jobs for 40 years (enabled by having things like 2.5 nannies per child and a housekeeper to do all the cleaning and a home in the country for the weekends). Their work-life balance always felt a bit… off… to me.
Further reading:
- Why Women's Networking Groups Fail [Forbes]
- Why Women’s Only Networking Groups Are Failing Us [Huffington Post]
- New Women's Groups Focus on Generational Mix [New York Times]
- Do Women’s Networking Events Move the Needle on Equality? [Harvard Business Review]
- In An Age Of Diversity And Inclusion, Why Do We Need Women's Networking Groups? [Forbes]
- 8 Ways To Build A More Successful Women's Resource Group At Your Company [FairyGodBoss]
anon
I’m 38, and I hate to say it, but I haven’t had great experiences with this sort of thing. I was involved in a women’s networking group at my college briefly, and then tried to reignite that involvement as an alumna when I was 35-36, thinking I’d have something to give back and could benefit from forming new networks at that point. I don’t know how else to say it, but the people who were in this group were just not “my people.” There was this weird, overly privileged overtone to the whole thing — and this was at a state school, which made it even odder. As a first-gen college student, I found it more demoralizing than helpful. The advice sort of pointed out how deeply entrenched (and hard to infiltrate) those informal networks can be. Even as an accomplished person today, I feel very out-of-place in that particular group.
In college, I had better luck with the women’s chapter of a professional society. Much more down-to-earth, practical advice that I actually stood a chance of implementing.
Anon
My field is so male dominated I’m sure there aren’t even enough women to have groups like this
Anonymous
I loooove the women section of my state bar. I’m 30 and childless but I find it really inspiring and have met some tremendous mentors and some of my closest friends through their events. I do think it “helps” that I live in an area where religious and cultural factors mean that women continue to be a distinct minority in the legal profession, especially at firms and especially in my practice area (IP).
Sarah
I’ve found them to be various levels of useful. The problem I have seen though is that those of us who don’t have children automatically seem pigeonholed by the rest of the group, or that most of the programming seems to revolve around working if you have kids.
Ms B
We have a very relaxed women’s group in my legal practice area in my city. It started as about 8 women lawyers in the field over 25 years ago (because that is all that there were back then!) and now the e-mail list has about 40 of us on it. It has evolved over time from dinners three times a year to an annual schedule including a holiday party to benefit a women’s philanthropy and a CLE, plus occasional celebrations (wedding and baby showers, retirement events, etc.)
It sounds hokey, but women from this group have been my mentors and cheerleaders and I owe a lot to them. Some of them are my sounding boards for hard legal questions and practice development issues and some are just people that I get along with and greet in court, but the experience has been invaluable.
Ellen
I think this is a good idea for women to assemble and share ideas and suggestion’s and recomend others for job’s. The ONLY way we, as women can get ahead is if we promote each other. Face it, there is alot of men that run the profession, and there is strength in bonding with other women. Also, when there is NO men in the room, we can let our hair down (literally) and say what is on our mind’s without fear that some loudmouth guy talks over us b/c he is a man. FOOEY on men that do this to us just b/c we are women. I know we are assertive, but we need to convince ourselves of this in order to face these males, who really do NOT want to hear what we have to say, so we let them get by subjugating us. I say that by having women’s groups, we can take the power back where it belongs. After all, we do NOT just want to be housewives. We want to maintain the professional status we worked so hard for as members of the bar, in good standing! YAY!!!
Gabriellataupeshoes
This is a really interesting topic! I used to be all about women’s only groups and in a way I still am when they are a good fit. But I do think sometimes a guys point of view or a mixed crowd of male/female can help diversify viewpoints.
CPA-by-day
When I lived in Cleveland, I was involved in a women’s networking group for manufacturing — women who worked in mfg directly, as well as indirectly (i.e. lawyers, bankers, cpas). It met quarterly which made it easy to schedule. The format was great; there was time designated for mingling/networking, and then there was a speaker and formal presentation.
I am a woman under 30 , but there seemed to be a variety of ages in attendance. There were usually between 20-30 women. I looked forward to those events! My experience there was drama-free and there was a general tone of empowerment.
Clark
I haven’t found women’s-only official networking to be helpful at all, I feel that they’re often more of an exercise in seeing and being seen than anything. That being said, I set up an informal networking lunch with the managing partner, 2 of-counsels, and another associate, all women, and that has been invaluable. We talk about work, marriage, children, and balancing it all; and the 3 older women give great counsel to the other associate and myself. Its one of those things that was awkward to suggest the first time (they’re so much more “important” than me, I don’t want to waste their time) but we had so much the 5 of us look forward to it tremendously. The managing partner once commuted an hour and a half just to meet us!
emma
I have been in 2 women’s only groups- 1 on each coast- and have found both to be helpful. Both are centered around being a working mom, both are very casual meetups and without kids and meet up 1x a month or so in the evening at a local restaurant or bar (1 is more lawyer focused). I am not someone that finds networking for the sake of networking easy, but I do like building relationships with other women more organically and have found this to be a helpful way to do this, as neither group had a rigorous format (and if you can get a partner to join, she usually comps the drinks as networking!). In addition to that, I have been very forward about approaching women I work with that I admire and inviting them for lunch or just a coffee/walk break (this is common at my work place)– and also reach out and try to help people at my work that are less senior than me (usually not in my group, because when I’ve tried that in the past, things got competitive/weird) for the same. and have been very open with my female (mostly lawyer) friends about any issues I face at work so that we have built our own kind of network for one another. Anyway, just my 2 cents- if you build it, they will come :).