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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I always like Rebecca Taylor's feminine blouses, and there are a ton of nice ones out right now. This silk eyelet blouse, though, looks perfect — easy, versatile, yet memorable and interesting. (It also comes in a red polka dot print that I'm not quite sure about. Oooh, that turns out to be a red heart print. Never mind.) The blouse was $295, but is on sale for 25% off right now ($221) at Nordstrom; Saks and Bergdorf's also have it in stock. Silk Eyelet Blouse Looking for something similar in plus sizes? This $30 gray top is pretty. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
I love this top. But I won’t buy it because it is see through and I think a shell would ruin the look.
Anonymous
I agree — would buy something from RT that I can wear to work with confidence, not something where I’d be thinking “OMG is my bra showing too much / is visible bra strap profesh”.
BeenThatGuy
Same. And did you see the plus size pick? That’s a real stretch to “something similar”.
Pompom
Agreed, wtf is that? My 91 yo nana would love it…!
Anonymous
Weird, I think it’s pretty darn similar.
Uh, what?
I mean this sincerely: I can’t tell if you are kidding.
On the off chance you’re not: a $220 on sale silk short sleeve shell/blouse from a well known and respected designer, versus a $60 full price embroidered, three quarter sleeve sweatshirt-looking tent with chintzy beading from the king of elastic waistbands, alfred dunner.
I know it’s hard to find plus size picks that rise to the same design, quality, and price points, but this was a cop out.
Never too many shoes...
So much this. That pick should not even exist as a garment. Being plus-sized does not mean that we should wear that thing. Or anything like it. Ever.
Pompom
So this was me, above (laying out the comparison); and I would edit to add:
It’s ok if you can’t find something comparable! It’s ok to just SAY “hey there was nothing that came close to the main pick.”
Anonymous
+1 its hideous
Anonymous
Even the model agrees it is not good. That’s a clear sneer.
Anonymous
Plus picks https://www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/2484065/vince-camuto-mixed-media-tie-front-blouse-plus-size?color=CHALK%20BLUE
https://www.loft.com/loft-plus-floral-shoulder-button-ruffle-shell/481487?skuId=25884036&defaultColor=4908&catid=cat3750037
https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/go-silk-silk-boat-neck-easy-tunic-plus-size-prod199160493?ecid=NMCS__GooglePLA&utm_source=google_shopping&adpos=1o11&scid=scplpsku156290289&sc_intid=sku156290289&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrv6NwoD63QIVEIGzCh1hLQAWEAQYCyABEgIMbfD_BwE
Cat
I think it’s pretty, too, but between the sheer fabric and the peek-a-boo bra strap problem, this is more of a “fun weekend top that I’m tryyyyyying to make work for the office” look IMHO.
Anonymous
I would wear this to work.
Anonymous
I would wear it to work, but not to important work meetings with clients (unless under a blazer, and then what is the point, really).
But for $200 ON SALE I expect it to be very-important-meeting appropriate without having to throw on a jacket.
I’d buy this at Old Navy for $20 no problem (and it would be washable, too).
Torin
+1 with a silk cami underneath.
Anon
Just a vent but any advice is also appreciated. My job is in a pretty sketchy location abd my commuting hours are soon to be only in the dark (either work 6am yo 6pm or 6pm yo 6am). None of the comuting options are good. I can drive but I’m not able to park at the building (there’s a lot but not for us) so it’d be street parking then walking several blocks, I can walk the whole commute which is questionable, or I can take public transportation which is not safe (I’ve been warned several times about it). Lower level government employee so can’t afford to Uber etc every day. Until recently there were no women, but a few of us have recently been hired. Both the situation is frustrating as well as the fact that I’m feeling unsafe as a woman in a public space. Ugh
Anonymous
I used to park in downtown Newark.
There aren’t a lot of bad guys up at 6am.
At 6pm, my guess is that there is a lot of legit foot and car traffic then, so you are probably pretty safe even in the dark.
I’d worry about after 8-9 (more as the hour gets later).
I’d use my car; have my keys out; carry minimal things; and have your phone out, too, in case you need to call 911 (and then cal 911 no question). If you can find your local precinct, stop in and talk to the person at the desk. They can tell you more about local crime, appreciating danger, etc.
Anonymous
I’m not super concerned about bad guys per se but rather mentally unstable drug users. I hate to use the term crazy and/or disparage the homeless since I’ve worked with plenty of considerate and safe homeless in a past position. The area near my office is surrounded by opiod addicted homeless who are extremely mentally unstable. I don’t think I’ll run into a bank robber at 545 but very concerned about the crazies. I’m generally very willing to walk at times/in areas that many of my frievds etc aren’t but even I’m unsettled here
Anonymous
Thanks for the point about car traffic! Was only considering foot traffic which is very very low (have to walk under an overpass) but there is car traffic at 6pm!
Agreed about the 8/9pm… once I get to work for the night I stay there!
Anon
Should also add that I don’t own a car. Currently borrowing one from a family member so really cognizant that I don’t get someone else’s car broken into etc. going forward, I’d need to purchase a car to drive to work.
Anonymous
I found that my car was generally left alone if it was visibly empty (to the point of leaving the ashtray open so you could see that was empty) and having it be a used, older, manual transmission car. Like not 2-years-old used, but 5-15 years used. Get something bland and reliable, like a Civic or a Camry.
And by empty, don’t even leave an umbrella in it. That is what the trunk is for.
DC parks have lots of residents, all of whom I assume are mentally ill, have chemical / alcohol dependency issues, or both. I’m a quick walker. I must have RBF also. I’ve left at all hours for years and haven’t been bothered. That said, I avoid the inner parts and walk the perimeter sidewalks if I have to (across the street is no better b/c people often sleep in doorways, so there are pockets all over).
Anon
Actually, Honda Civics and Toyota Camrys get stolen very frequently because they are so common. That’s not the way to go. You definitely do want to leave the car totally empty though.
Anonymous
They get stolen if they are newer; not if they are older. They are the “most stolen” only b/c there are so many of them out there to steal. They aren’t sought after; they are just what’s there.
Also: no one can even drive stick anymore. If someone breaks in and tries to steal it, it’s they didn’t look closely enough. It will still be there (or will stall out at the first hill or red light).
Anonymous
Yes, my friend’s Civic was stolen from her apartment building parking lot. She went out to go to work one morning and her car just wasn’t there.
Anon
They’re targeted because they can be looted for replacement parts. But that’s when the thieves are pros, which may not be an issue in an otherwise sketchy neighborhood.
Anonymous
Carpool with he other women? Use Lyftline or Uber pool -⎌to takes longer but should be safer.
Anon
I feel your pain. I felt the same way when I had to walk to campus early and walk back late in the Bay Area. With the homeless problem being as severe as it is, it was guaranteed to walk past sketchy men at all hours and there were many specific times when I felt directly unsafe. Is it possible for you to bike at all? I have always felt that I could get away from a bad situation faster on a bike than on foot.
C2
Is there security at your building? I was in a similar situation and used to be able to request a security escort to my vehicle.
Anonymous
+1000
Elegant Giraffe
Yes. And if there’s not security, request it…on paper.
OP
Sadly at that hour there’s literally three of us in the building!
TX-IHC
I have quit a job once for this reason… when daylight savings time hit in the fall I could no longer stomach the walk to transit in the dark, so I feel your pain! I hope one of the above solutions works for you instead, but also listen to your gut and take precautions.
Anonymous
Can you wear tennis shoes and leave your dress shoes at work? The unstable drug users on my walking route to work definitely can’t run very fast. Also find out where the dealers hang out so you can avoid that route.
Handicapping 2020
Is there any good place to go to help handicap the 2020 election (particularly, D candidates)?
I used to follow a betting forum (aka Irish futures exchange) on this, but it doesn’t seem to exist anymore.
I can remember hearing Barack Obama speak in 2008 and just knew that he seemed to have something that others did not. I don’t have that feeling about anyone anymore (seriously — how in a country of 300ish million people is that even possible???), that someone is a serious contender that could carry from LA to NYC to Miami without losing places like Ohio and Pennsylvania that you need to actually win.
[FWIW, my local city is pretty entrenched D, but has become complacent and isn’t interested in / able to tackle real problems / in love with grabbing the spotlight (throwing tons of $ at light rail to nowhere and bike lanes that go unused in pricey zipcodes while the public school system founders and bridges age and become compromised)].
Anonymous
Fivethirtyeight dot com.
There are a handful of state and local D politicians who could do well in the middle of the country – John Hickenlooper (D-CO), Roy Cooper (D-NC), and Steve Bullock (D-MT) come to mind, as well as Mitch Landrieu (D-New Orleans mayor). The Cory Bookers and Elizabeth Warrens and Kamala Harrises of the national stage are too far left to carry the heartland.
Anonny
As a not-american its weird to see someone call Elizabeth Warren Left, she looks right of centre from my country’s view. Same with Cory Booker, sure hes vegan and at least a bit ethical, but still not what I’d call liberal.
Anonymous
Where are you that you wouldn’t call Elizabeth Warren or Cory Booker a liberal? I think they’d both take that as fighting words (vegan or not).
Anonymous
That person seems pretty out of touch. He’s “a bit ethical” which makes him seem like a liberal. Ummm okayyyy.
Anonny
Out of touch? Just a happy inhabitant of one of the many countries with socialized medicine and free post secondary education.
Anonymous
Yeah I can’t imagine what positions would be to the left of Elizabeth Warren. Keep in mind the US has a constitution, so they’re limited by that. I’m sure they personally want to eliminate guns completely, but that can’t be done without repealing the 2nd amendment and there’s nowhere near enough support for that. So they are about as left as they can be, given certain entrenched principles that aren’t going to change any time soon.
Anonymous
Ok, but everything is relative. The US doesn’t have national health care and free college and advocating for those things is a far left position IN THE US. I’m sure if Elizabeth Warren lived in Sweden, she’d be even further left, but you have to adapt to the political environment you’re in.
Anonymous
IDK — Would you even need an Elizabeth Warren as a politician in Sweden (utopia with free universities and healthcare)?
FWIW, the larger the geographic area, the more you need to attract mainstream voters. People much to the left of Elizabeth Warren are not really electable (e.g., at-large or ward-based city council member in college town vs small urban state vs national office).
Anonymous
Where do you live?
Anonymous
As a North Carolinian, I’m super curious if Cooper will run for President, because 2020 will be the end of his first term as governor-run for another term as governor or try for the presidency?
Pompom
Also a NCer, and until reading this, that idea never occurred to me. Intrigued! Happy with him as governor so far!
Anonymous
NC is interesting. I’m an R and think that the legislature is full of nutjobs (more so than usual). I’ve met him and he does not seem like a bad guy (and I tend to have immensely negative opinions of politicians). I’m inclined to respect most governors though — they have to deal with real stuff (like pensions) and bad headline risk (botch a hurricane and you are toast). More so that people who have only even been in the Senate.
cbackson
Agreed re: governors. They end up VERY directly accountable to real people if they botch something. When it comes to national office, I would generally prefer an experienced governor not of my party as a presidential candidate over a senator who is not of my party…they just typically have a greater awareness of the need to compromise, are less likely to posture, etc. Case in point: I have voted multiple times for our current governor, even though I tend to vote D and he is an R. We don’t always agree but I think he’s done a good job on the whole and his ability to build a good working relationship with the mayor of our largest city (who is a D) has been impressive.
Anonymous
Fellow NC-er–I have to wonder what kind of platform Cooper would run on?? He’s been so hamstrung by the legislature, it’s hard to name any accomplishments he’d want to put on his resume.
Anonymous
His platform would be a return to normalcy. He’s sort of a prototype politician, if you will.
– Grew up rural (check)
– Worked on a tobacco farm (manual labor, check)
– Local boy made good through grades, not connections (prestigious local scholarship, check)
– Has devoted his life to public service (14 years in state legislature, 16 years as atty general)
– Can credibly say he understands everyday people – NC is a microcosm for the U.S. as a whole – rural, urban, wealthy, poor
– Not too old, not too young, not too right, not too left
Anonymous
Anon at 10:09 here.
I think he can run on a “plays well with others” rationale. So many people don’t these days. And he has to deal with some real gems elsewhere in the legislature.
Also (from Dilbert) — he is tall (or tallish) and has executive style hair.
It sounds like I’m damning him with faint praise, but I think compared to some notable and noisy Ds elsewhere, you could do a lot worse. He seems to be competent and agreeable enough to maybe have a chance. And NC is a purple state, so there may be something selfish to gain by having him on a ticket (top or bottom).
Anonymous
Cooper will not run for president in 2020. 1) He is cautious and would not put himself out there unless he has a clear path (alternative way to see this he believes in waiting his turn. that is why we were stuck with Bev Perdue), 2) He has a plan for NC that he hasn’t fully realized yet. Once he has accomplished more of his agenda, I certainly think he would consider national office, but not at the expense of cutting his first term as Gov short, 3) he would want to give Stein move of a chance to develop his statewide presence to create a strong D contender for Gov after he is gone.
All said, I really like Roy. I think he is a true statesmen that works for the public good. If you are in NC please focus on 1) finding a good Lt Gov candidate, and 2) making sure Ross runs (and wins) against Tillis. I really want to see Ross in the Senate.
nutella
Yes, 538 is great and NYT has also done some polling in races big and small that is helpful. I find Beto O’Rourke to give me the same kind of chills Obama did. Maybe you can find inspiration in looking smaller like I did. I am not expecting an “Ask not what your country” speech, but I have found a lot of Congressional candidates in my state that I have decided to phone bank for remotely (hours away!) because they are talking about real ‘kitchen table’ issues that affect people in my state – healthcare costs when their son got sick, traffic and crumbling infrastructure, treatment and prevention of opiate addiction, etc.
Anonymous
Beto with the DWI though. My cousin was killed by a drunk driver (who already had his licensed revoked for . . . drunk driving). I can never vote for him b/c of this.
nutella
I understand.
I also lost a cousin to a DUI. I don’t think any candidate is perfect, though. I don’t even agree with my husband on everything he says and don’t think he is without flaws, too. For me, Beto seems remorseful (I like that he doesn’t make excuses for it) and someone who has done good with the second chance he got, but I understand your position. I do think he is a good speaker, though, which is why I brought him up to the OP.
Anonymous
No answer to your Q, but that’s such a great description that I totally recognize your city ;). It does have some political history, if that might inspire you.
Anonymous
Tell us more! Where is this? What is the back story?
Anon
It sounds like Minneapolis, to me.
Anonymous
Nope — not Minneapolis.
Their light rail seems to be functional. And it seems to be a really nice city! I remembering the crumbling bridge though — that was awful. [TBH, wasn’t it an interstate bridge (like bridge that was part of the interstate highway system; I realize it was all in the same state)? Am I wrong or is that somehow not a city responsibility though?]
Anon
The light rail that’s up and existing is functional, but not without it’s share of controversy over affected businesses during road closures for constructions, and where the money will come from for new lines. The bridge collapse was I-35, so there was a lot of fingerpointing between federal budget shortfalls, state’s veto of increased gas taxes and it’s responsibility to fix the bridge after it was given a poor rating by the MNDoT. That specific incident was not a city responsibility per se, but certainly a tragedy for Mpls.
Anonattorney
Portland?
Anon
I don’t know, I can think of at least 2 cities off the top of my head that could be described by some people that way
Anonymous
Actually, I think that that could be any big city.
Some D will win anyway, so the real races are at the primary level. Terrible schools — that could be anywhere (seriously — show me a city with good schools and I’d consider moving there just for that). Crumbling infrastructure — check. Feel-good / vanity projects — check.
Anon
Without the reference to light rail, I would totally agree. But my understanding is that few cities have light rail systems. Is that no longer true?
Nerfmobile
It could describe my metro area – West Coast but not one of the biggest cities on the coast. Great local beers though. :)
DIY Costume
Cheapest place to buy costume supplies to DIY costumes for my little kids? Places to buy inexpensive: fabric, pillow covers, felt, fabric glue, batting, feather boas etc. Any tips? Looking to make a pumpkin costume for my toddler (not sure yet what to make for the older kid) – are there any free sewing templates available on line? I can’t seem to find any that don’t require me to sign up or pay.
Anonymous
Walmart.
Anonymous
A fabric store.
Anonymous
Joann’s. Sign up for the free phone app and you’ll get access to coupons. They might also have a paper circular in the store with coupons. they’ve also got online ordering.
If no Joann’s – Micheal’s might have most of it. Hobby Lobby is another choice.
Rainbow Hair
Joann’s and Michaels, but only with coupons coupons coupons (I just google “Michaels Coupons” from my phone in the parking lot).
Heads up that fabric is expensive! I just re-started sewing this year and I was surprised!
Anonymous
Goodwill for picking up an orange… sweater or whatever for repurposing.
When my son was small I bought a stuffed animal with floppy ears, and a white tshirt. Cut off the ears, colored spots onto the tshirt and affixed the ears to a hood… a little makeup and voila! Poky Little Puppy.
Didn’t start buying costumes until I was making good money.
M
Primary has great no sew costume ideas. They’re not the cheapest but you can always buy elsewhere (although I’ve found it surprisingly hard to find online)
NJ Bound!!
Hi Ladies, I have a day to spend in New Jersey. Any suggestions as to what I can do? I’m flying into Newark and will have a car. Please don’t tell me to “go into the city.” I’ve been to NYC many times and love it. But I’ve never spent any time in NJ and have heard about nice areas like Hoboken. TIA!!
North Jersey
Hoboken is a great idea. You could also look into Montclair, Morristown, Madison. Depending on traffic, from Newark, they are all about a 30 minute drive.
NJ Bound
Anything specific to do, see, eat in Hoboken or Montclair? Thanks!!
NYC Girl
Hoboken things to do: Visit Carlos bake shop (if you’re into that), take a walk around the waterfront (great views of NYC), walk around the Steven’s campus (also has great views of NYC), visit the old Lackawana train station (several movies have been filmed there). There’s a great little cafe called Choc-o-Pain (1st street), that I’d highly recommend for a pastry or lunch. There’s some cute small boutiques that line Washington street (aka main street). Also recommend getting a hero/sub at an old-school Italian deli, such as Losurdos, Luca Brasi’s, or Fiore (made famous by the show 30 Rock – get their roast beef sandwich or homemade mutz).
Street parking in Hoboken is tough, I’d recommend a garage to avoid a ticket (there is also metered parking).
NJ Bound
This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks so much!!!
Bette
I work in Hoboken. It’s boring as hell. I’d go to Jersey City instead, way more interesting.
S
If you want to do Jersey City instead, I’d take the PATH from Newark and get out at Exchange Place, walk along the water and take in views of Manhattan (you can always take the ferry round trip to Manhattan to really take in the views too), then walk upland to the Grove Street area, get Raza Pizza (considered some of the best in the area–may have long wait), go to Word bookstore, and wander and the shops right there for a bit (won’t take long, there aren’t a ton). Get back on the PATH to newark airport.
Anonymous
Do you like Portuguese food? Octopus?
Check out Newark’s Ironbound neighborhood. It’s the largest Portuguese settlement outside of Portugal (obs Brazil was settled by Portuguese people originally) and there are many Portuguese-speaking immigrants from all over also.
Anonymous
Not the OP, but can you tell me about specifics in Ironbound neighborhood? I’ll be in the area and have Portuguese in-laws. Might be worth a couple hours walk.
Anonymous
From Newark Penn Station, go down Market Street near the Passaic River.
You can google “portuguese restaurants ironbound newark” and find tons of good ones. I like: https://www.saborunido.com/
I don’t eat octopus though but it’s the real deal if you just walk around. It’s not what most people think of Newark!
Anonymous
Forgot to add: FERRY STREET — that is where most of the restaurants seem to be near. But Market may be easier to find at first. It’s all walkable (b/c it predates cars).
Anonymous
Liberty state park is near the airport and very nice. Short Hill Mall if you are into shopping. See the waterfall in Paterson.
Anonymous
(Longer post stuck in mod) DIY Costumes – where can I buy supplies on the cheap? Fabric, pillowcases, felt, etc.?
Anonymous
ETSY has sewing supplies
LL Bean Gift Card
I received a $10 LL Bean gift card/rebate after buying sheets (upon a recommendation I received here). I don’t have any use for it, so the code is below if anyone wants it.
Card Number: 2000228416360495628
Pin: 5445
Biore
I’ve seen Biore watery essence touted enough on here that I’m ready to try it. But I can see that there are several very similar versions on Amazon, some with different years (like the 2016 model vs 2017 model) and some with slightly different words in the name. Could anyone point me to exactly the one that you love?
Also, seeking reqs for a daily moisturizer, oil-free, for combination skin.
BabyAssociate
I think this is the one I have (brought it back from Japan, didn’t buy it online). I’m wearing it right now.
BabyAssociate
Whoops, forgot the link! https://www.amazon.com/Sarasara-Essence-Sunscreen-Package-Cosmetic/dp/B071X4W74G?th=1
Anon
I am starting a new job soon and would like to try bike commuting for part of it. This would include biking for about 15 minutes on a paved bike trail and on the sidewalk for the final stretch, then taking the subway for 40 minutes. Does anyone have any tips for managing sweat and helmet hair when I won’t have access to a bathroom right away? Also, should I do anything to secure my bike at the busy subway station besides U-lock through the frame?
cbackson
Former bike commuter/frequent cyclist (for exercise and transport) here: I braid my hair and put a scarf over it when I need to look presentable and the weather’s hot. I also ride at a slower pace so I’m less likely to sweat a lot. And I keep a stash of baby wipes and dry shampoo in my office.
In terms of securing your bike, read up on U-locks so you’ve got a well-reviewed one. U-lock plus cable is the ne plus ultra of bike security but I don’t go that far. (My townie/commuter bike also isn’t very nice.)
C2
If you’re leaving it all day, I’d get a longer cable and run it through the front and back wheels back to the U-lock, too, which will help deter crimes of opportunity. Don’t leave a saddle bag or any bottles on it. I’d see how sweaty you actually get – if the route is fairly flat, I don’t get very sweaty after just 15 minutes unless it’s really, really hot. I wear my hair in a low bun vs a ponytail, use tissues to blot if you’re doing makeup at home, or carry some wipes if you aren’t worried about makeup. Keep deodorant, dry shampoo, a small hairbrush, and some basic makeup at work to refresh with. If you’re going to commute in your workwear, I’d leave a change of clothes at work just in case of emergency.
Is it Friday yet?
I have pin locks for my wheels, plus a u-lock through the frame. Cables, even the sturdiest ones, can be cut (though a really determined thief will get through a u-lock too). If the wheels aren’t locked in some form, they’re super easy to pop off and steal. Also, locking your seat is a good idea – I had my bike shop do that and they ran a bike chain through it and through the frame.. People will take seats too, sometimes just to be a jerk.
DLC
Before I had kids I biked 7 miles to work every day. My best advice for not feeing sweaty and gross is to change your bra when you get to work.
Katie
I would use panniers instead of a backpack. I definitely sweat more with a pack on my back.
Anon
This is a question for equestrians. Is $100 per lesson considered expensive? I am looking to start riding again after a long hiatus and there is a nice barn near me that would be fairly convenient, but it looks like they raised their rates since I looked last year. Is $100 pretty high or is that typical nowadays? I am in the Bay Area FWIW.
Eowyn
That seems very high to me, but I am not familiar with the Bay Area equestrian scene. When I rode on the expensive East Coast scene, lesson prices at godo barns ranged from $50-70, but I would say most were closer to $50.
C2
It does seem a little high. I’d check out some other barns in the general area to establish a baseline. If you plan to do it regularly, ask if you can get a discount of a pack 3 or 5 or 10 lessons.
Gail the Goldfish
It depends on how long the lesson is. That’s a little high in my area, where it’s anywhere from around $50-80 for an hour depending on how nice the barn is, but I could see it being about that for an hour lesson in the Bay Area since everything is so expensive there. If it’s only a half hour lesson, that seems extremely high.
Is it Friday yet?
Depends on who’s teaching the lesson. If it’s an Olympian, then that’s a pretty good deal; if it’s a college kid with a part-time job, ehhh, not so much. Also, does that include use of a horse? If that’s priced separately, it’s usually an extra $10-20 per lesson. I’m assuming this is a hunter/jumper barn – at $100, I would expect a reasonably nice school horse, and a trainer that has students showing successfully at local A shows. You can probably find less expensive places if your goals are currently less lofty. Caveat that I’m not familiar with the Bay Area – I’m in an expensive East Coast area.
Horse Crazy
Yeah, I think that’s a little high. The most I’ve ever paid is $65 for a lesson, and that was for a group lesson on one of the lesson horses – they are a little cheaper if you use your own horse where I ride, and a little more expensive if you want a private lesson. But they’re definitely not $100 – maybe $75 for the most expensive. I’m also in the Bay Area.
Anonymous
How long is the lesson, what level are you riding at, and who is teaching?
I ride in a suburb just outside of a major metro area (use of horse included, I don’t have enough time to lease/own my own at this time), and my 30 minute lesson is $50 (60 minute lessons would be $85), but I’m also a relative beginner and my instructor is good but without any “fancy” credentials.
At a closer-in barn, and/or with a more advanced instructor, I could see $100 for a 60 minute lesson making sense.
Anon
It would be an hour-long lesson (grooming and tack separate), the instructor sounds good but also not “fancy” in terms of credentials, and I would be at a pretty beginner level since I haven’t ridden in 15 years. I was expecting more like $60-75, which is what I think this place used to offer lessons at, but clearly they’ve jumped up.
Is it Friday yet?
If you’re beginner level, I’d probably try to find somewhere cheaper, unless this is the only thing geographically feasible. Setting aside whether that rate is reasonable for the actual trainer’s credentials, you don’t need a big name trainer or upper level rider (which is what the price range suggests, unless the premium is for the location) to teach you to walk/trot/canter/xrails. There are trainers out there that are worth $100+ a lesson, for sure, but only if you’re at a level that you can really take advantage of their expertise.
anon
I’m in DC and I pay $55 for a one-hour small group lesson. Instructors are excellent but the barn is not “fancy.”
Away Game
anon at 1:27 – where in DC? We may be moving there in a few months and I just started riding last year. Looking for “not fancy” and not particularly interested in competing….I just like the riding.
Dahlia
In CT at a pretty competitive stable- I take a half hour private lesson every week for $55 per lesson. I think an hour private is around $90 and an hour group lesson is around $50. Grooming and tacking time is not included in lesson time.
I’ve been riding for about a year and a half hour of private lesson riding time is good for me. I’m usually tired with sore legs by the end of it (and I’m a runner with an active job consider myself in good shape- but its totally different muscles!) I much prefer the individual focus on a private lesson to a more general small group lesson.
Anonymous
Nikki Haley has apparently resigned.
Leah
Thank you to the two commenters who suggested blouses for me yesterday, I bought both on the way home from work. Love them!
Anonymous
Yay! That was me. I’m happy to hear it.
Tippins
So nice to let us know! Glad it worked for you.
Anon
Two partners that anchor my practice group are leaving and are not taking associates. I don’t think this is a sign of a sinking ship, but I am a bit worried about what the group will look like after the transition. Does anyone have tips for how to handle firm changes like this?
Anonymous
start job hunting,
anon
If you are senior enough, use the opportunity to try to position yourself internally to be a new go-to person for others in the firm who might have otherwise called upon the attorneys who are leaving. Depending on your firm and your relationships, that might look like popping your head into certain people’s offices to remind them you’re happy to help with any transition issues, or like hosting an internal CLE on a topic that will show off your expertise. If you’re very junior, there’s not as much to do except ask everyone around the firm for work or consider job hunting.
Horse Crazy
What would you buy from H&M if you had a $50 gift card? Probably something from their home section – I’m trying to not buy clothes for a while. Any suggestions?
Cb
Oh, I’ve found lovely table cloths and dining room table cushions from the conscious collection line. They’ve got some nice little accent pieces as well.
Anonymous
If you don’t really need anything, you can also look for holiday gifts for others.
Anon
How does one go about finding a therapist? I asked my primary care doctor, who recommended I look on my insurance company’s website to see which ones take my insurance. So, now I have a list of therapists. Do I just pick one and make an appointment and see if I like them? I can’t seem to find any reviews of them online…I searched “therapist” on Yelp, but none of the ones listed on my insurance website came up.
Anonymous
IME a lot of practices have websites where you can read about the therapist and their practice area and get a feel for them. But basically, yes, you try and see how you like them.
Anonymous
There won’t be many reviews of therapists. Hopefully most will have a website or a page on that online directory – someone help me remember the name of it. Anyways, just pick the one you think you’d get along with best from whatever online info you can glean. Think of the first appointment as a two-way interview – you’ll want to click with them.
Anonymous
I found (in DC) that most therapists that came personally recommended to me did not take insurance. I could use FSA money and file an out of network claim, though.
You can ask for a phone consult to weed out anyone you really don’t think you’ll get along with.
I found websites all looked the same, and had the same language. It was a really frustrating process to find someone I meshed well with, although well worth it.
Anonymous
Some of the therapists may have their own websites, LinkedIn profiles, or profiles on Hospital websites that give some insight on what they specialize in treating and/or what techniques they use. You can narrow down your list a little bit that way. Once you’ve narrowed it down some, you can reach out and ask whether they’re taking new patients and what times they have availability. Then, yes, you pick one and make an appointment and see if you like them.
therapy pro
This is what I did. My now-therapist had a video on her website with her pets and that is why I called her (ridiculous, I know, but I’m an animal person). I had tried out 3 or 4 other people who I didn’t click with before her.
DLC
It took us a lot of phone calls to find our therapist (for couples counseling and grief therapy) – a lot of practices just wouldn’t call us back. Also, the first one we went to just wasn’t a good fit. We thought that therapy wasn’t for us, but it turns out it was that therapist that wasn’t good for us. We basically googled, asked around and called places that took our insurance and had offices located conveniently.
Which is all to say, finding a good therapist can be tedious and frustrating, but please don’t give up. When you find someone who can really help you it is so so with it.
Anonymous
I have always used insurance to pay for therapists and that makes it a bit of a chore to find someone who is accepting new patients on my plan (therapists are allowed to restrict how many patients they take on any given plan; typically, reimbursement rates are quite low). I usually just start making calls and leaving voicemails (it’s helpful to leave them your insurance information–more than just Blue Cross, also provide the group code or plan ID). Many therapists run their own office to keep overhead down, so don’t write someone off just because they don’t have a receptionist. My experience has been that for every 10 voicemails I leave, I get four to six return calls in the next few days to a week. It was very frustrating the first time around, but now that I expect it, it doesn’t really bother me. It’s (unfortunately) just how the industry seems to work. Also, be prepared for a two- to three-week wait for an appointment. Again, annoying, but seems to be how it goes.
Getting started (or switching) is a bit of a slog, but has always been worth it to me in the long run. I’ve ended up with some amazing therapists, and some real duds. If you get someone you don’t click with, rinse and repeat. It’s not worth it if you’re not jiving well.
Finally, try the Psychology Today website for basic info about each therapist. Some therapists use the site as a replacement for their own website.
Senior Attorney
The psychology today dot com therapist finder web site has a lot of good information including specialities and personal statements from therapists. That’s where I found mine. You can search on various parameters including location and insurance.
Anon
Interested in thoughts on Nikki Haley’s announcement and next steps? It’s unfortunate to see a bright, diverse woman leave this administration, where more voices like hers are sorely needed. Is she planning a run for President? She said she will not be running in 2020 in her press conference, but if I had a nickel for every time a politician was convinced to run for something…. I’m hoping this won’t become a flame-throwing session, I’m one of those anti-Trump fiscal conservatives who is genuinely curious about how the women on this board view her.
Anonymous
I’m a very anti-Trump liberal and I respect Nikki Haley – I definitely don’t agree with her on policy issues, but I think she’s competent, sane and was one of the few adults in this administration and I’m very sorry to see her leave. I would love to believe there’s bad blood between her and Trump, but it really doesn’t seem like it. I’m confused as to why she was leaving though. I know it’s a high-stress job, but I thought most people stayed in cabinet positions for at least 4 years.
NYNY
I figure Trump years are like dog years – work two, get credit for fourteen.
Ms B
Snort!
NYCer
Agreed that there doesn’t seem to be bad blood between her and Trump. Perhaps she wants to run for Senate in 2020? With the ultimate eye on the presidency in 2024 or later?
Anonymous
R (well, more a Libertarian who hates throwing away my vote) here and a Nikki fan. Not sure what is next for her but I wish her well. I live in a state that borders SC and liked her when she was governor.
nutella
Not a fan of her politics (other than removing the confederate flag), but I do wish there was more parity in numbers of women and other diverse officials in governing positions so that just like men, there could be ones you despise, ones you adore, and ones you are neutral about. I find it strange to resign so abruptly, especially without stating next steps, but who knows!
ArenKay
A watchdog group has filed ethics complaints against her for excessive use of private planes. I think this might be the reason.
Anon
A single person can’t be “diverse.” If you mean a WOC just say that.
diverse
This used to sound wrong to my ear too, because it is grammatically incorrect (and really bugged me at first), but using “diverse” as a descriptor for “minority” has become standard at least in the legal profession. “She is a diverse attorney.”
Anonymous
Yeah, but it’s wrong and totally weird. Just because a bunch of people misuse it doesn’t make it right.
Anon
I’ve seen speculation that the plan is for Lindsay Graham to replace Jeff Sessions, and Nikki Haley to take Graham’s place in the Senate. Not sure how likely that is though. I abhor Graham but Haley+Graham is better than Haley+Graham+Sessions.
Anonymous
That’s a very interesting theory. He’s supposedly firing Sessions right after the midterms – aka in 4 weeks – so it makes sense that she’d resign now to prepare.
Alanna of Trebond
I am a Democrat and would vote for Nikki Haley (also Indian…so probably some identity politics in my statement).
Anonymous
I do not agree with most of her politics. I am a fairly liberal democrat though so that’s probably a given.
Schmanon
Question for anyone else in higher ed- I got an email from a student about a problem at our university that is widespread and negatively impacts students, but isn’t a life or death issue (think along the lines of poor internet connectivity, but not that exactly). I’m not the right person to contact about this, so I replied to the student with the correct name and contact information and gave a heads-up to the colleague that she’d be contacting him.
The problem is that I know nothing will change. The colleague in charge of this area doesn’t care about students or his job and will only give a perfunctory “We’ll look into it” answer, if he responds at all. There’s no one else I could have told her to talk to, but I feel guilty for directing her to an avenue that I know won’t actually help. Is there anything I could have done differently?
Anonymous
I don’t think you should do anything differently. Also as a person in higher ed IT, we have 40,000 users to support and we know the wifi is slow and people sometimes have connectivity issues. There’s nothing low-level IT employees can do about the wifi network, and the emails we get whining about connectivity issues get deleted or receive perfunctory replies. I know you said this wasn’t the issue exactly, but I do think there are a lot of “issues that negatively impact students” that even the best, most attentive employee can’t do anything about.
Anonymous
If it’s that bad, maybe they will occupy the president’s office / make it a big enough deal to fix it.
I mean, kids protest everything these days, why not something of immediate impact to them?
anon
They actually don’t. At least not at my uni. The amount of bureaucratic and/or technical ineptitude that’s accepted as the price of admission constantly has me shaking my head.
higher ed anon
Also in higher-ed admin. In my little corner of a huge university, we had an administrative black hole. A couple of us started challenging the status quo and after 2 years, we have the problem turned around, much to the delight of those impacted. The person who is the original black hole (sounds like your coworker) is still there, but her role has been very much marginalized. She gets passive aggressive from time to time about the fact that her role and visibility have been minimized, but doesn’t stir the pot too much. Yes, in a perfect world, she’d have moved on to something else and we wouldn’t be paying her to do nothing/mildly obstruct, but that’s not mine to deal with.
You may or may not have the ability or buy-in to do this, but sometimes it is possible.
Charleston Bounc
My girlfriends and I are doing a girls weekend in Charleston. We already have a reservation at Husk (yay!) and I would love recommendations of other restaurants to go to, bars, and things to do! Thanks!
Anon
I went on my minimoon and here are some things I enjoyed – the Gin Joint, Glazed Gourmet Donuts and Callies Hot Biscuits, 167 Raw, Rodney Scott’s BBQ (we took an Uber since we didn’t have access to a car), and Eli’s Table
We ended up not being able to make it out to any of the plantations, and this might ruin the vibe of a girls weekend, but we really liked the Old Slave Mart museum. The Nathaniel Russel House is supposed to be great too. We did a murder mystery tour that had really good review on tripadvisor but was underwhelming (my husband loves a good ghost tour). We honestly spent most of our time eating and wandering the streets and heading into galleries and shops and stuff.
Anoymous
I love brunch at Poogan’s Porch — the mac and cheese appetizer is the best mac and cheese I’ve ever had!
Marie
Late to this party, so hopefully you see this, but when I was in Charleston a couple of years ago, one of my best meals with a very unique menu was Circa 1886 was one of my best meals and the vibe is very cool, as it is located in a historic mansion. Fulton Five was kind of a hole in the Italian place wall that was a real surprise and had great food. Probably touristy but Slightly North of Broad had interesting cocktails and was good for brunch. High Cotton was also good for dinner and I didn’t get back there for jazz brunch, but wanted to. Seconding Poogan’s Porch and the mac and cheese. So many amazing choices in Charleston, but these are the restaurants that stuck out to me.
DLC
For those of you who go to church (or other places of worship)- what do you wear? do you have separate clothes you just wear for church? I basically have one dress I wear to church (because I’m still nursing and its my only nursing friendly dress), and I work in a very casual environment (jeans, t-shirts, casual skirts, yoga pants if they are subtle) so I’m thinking of getting another outfit or two for church, but that seems silly to have clothes hair for Sunday.. I grew up in a house that got dressed up for church, but my husband did not- I remember one Christmas when my mother in law was alarmed that I wanted to wear a skirt to Christmas Eve Mass, saying I was getting too fancy. I know it varies by region and religion, but I was curious. For what it’s worth, we go to a Catholic Church in a suburb of DC. My husband is the Catholic one, but I go with him and I find myself spending a lot of time looking at what others in the congregation are wearing.
Senior Attorney
Back in the day it was quite usual to have “church clothes.” I think it’s a great idea.
anon
I have church clothes, but they also get mixed into my normal wardrobe. A black skirt, a blouse, a sundress (that I wear in the summer usually with a cardigan or shawl), etc. All pieces I can mix and match for going out or for work (typically with different shoes or accessories). I attend a church where I could also wear pretty casual clothes and no one would bat an eye, but I prefer to dress up a little as part of my Sunday ritual, to set aside that part of the day as special. (No judgement whatsoever for people who choose otherwise).
anon
I do have a few church clothes. That’s how I grew up, and it’s a habit I’ve continued. But, I’m just as likely to pair a work top with a more casual pair of pants than I’d wear to church.
Anonymous
My DC suburb Episcopal church is very casual (I regularly wear what I wear on Jeans Friday at the office) – men wear khakis and polos, younger men wear jeans and a dress shirt; ladies wear mostly pants with a knit top. My husband has had to try very hard to get used to wearing jeans – he really struggled in the beginning :)
I do still have a couple “church dresses” in my closet, mainly for visiting my husband’s family’s Baptist church in his hometown. At home, I’ll get dressed in dry clean only things for Christmas, Easter, and anything at the National Cathedral, like evensong. I do go out all out for Christmas and Easter – often a new dress, etc – because for me it’s part of the old “you show respect through how you dress” bit.
Anonymous
I think men wear clothes to church. Women’s clothes are, as always, MORE COMPLICATED.
For women, church clothes are different b/c work clothes are too somber (I did not want to wear my black suit to baptize my daughter in — way too severe in and more fit for a funeral).
Church clothes are formal-pretty.
Work clothes are formal-formal (or not, now that we have gone full-on denim at work; I would not wear jeans to a church service lest my grandmother start spinning in her grave).
Wow
I can’t imagine having only one dress to wear to church. By all means, buy a few more outfits for more variety.
BC
I’m Catholic and find church for us to be very much a come-as-you-are experience. There are certain lines I won’t cross–like wearing a sports jersey. I definitely wear jeans on regular Sundays. For special occasions and the big holidays like Easter and Christmas, I will usually wear a dress.
Former Retail
I pretty much wear the same thing to church as I do to work – skinny pants with a flowy top and flats or booties. Plus, since I only have it on for a couple hours, I usually hang it all back up when I get home and wear it to work on Monday. Lazy wardrobe win.
cbackson
I tend to wear nice casual unless it’s a holiday/feast day. So on a normal Sunday I might have on nice jeans + a blouse or a more casual Boden dress. For Christmas Eve midnight mass, on the other hand, I will have a cocktail dress or even a formal dress on.
I’m at a very high-church Episcopal church in a fairly hip urban neighborhood in a large SEUS city.
Anon
I have church clothes and am looking to expand my wardrobe of such. Church clothes are versatile: they work for brunch out with friends, wandering around the botanical garden, coffee meetings, etc.
Anonymous
Until my thirties, I belonged to a church that strongly discourages women from wearing pants to worship services. Work clothes would have also stood out badly. That doesn’t mean your church clothes have to just be for church, though – they also work great for dinner with friends, low-key date nights, baby and bridal showers, etc. If it were me I’d use this as an excuse to buy one of those prairie-inspired dresses that are everywhere this season.
Contemporary
I go to a contemporary/progressive church and nobody really dresses up (and I love it). Last Sunday I wore: Cute jeans with a knee rip, a PBS shirt, a Yankees hat, and cute boots. No makeup, hair barely dried/no styling. That to say, totally depends on what kind of church you attend.
I grew up in a tradition that required “church clothes” and I got up roughly 4 hours too early because my mom refused to have her daughter look not perfect. So, I really relish how not important this is to my church.
oil in houston
I tend to wear the same thing I’d wear to brunch with my inlaws if that helps
anon
This is definitely a genre of clothing that you need to have if you attend services regularly. I attend a Conservative Jewish synagogue and typically go to the less formal service. It would be frowned upon to wear jeans or casual clothes. On the average Saturday men wear suits or slacks and a blazer–at minimum slacks and a button-down. Women will wear dresses or skirts/pants with a nice blouse or knit top. I personally wear the more colorful things from my work wardrobe since I don’t feel like keeping clothes that only have one function, but yes, I definitely would not wear my normal weekend attire and it would be frowned upon. People who attend the more formal service are suits/nicer dresses, heels, hair done, etc.–more formal than what most of them probably wear to work.
It’s really NBD, I just change when I get home into my normal weekend casual clothes.
Anonymous
Jeans and a t shirt or sweater or a casual dress. Whatever I’m wearing seasonally for weekends. My church is not fancy at all.
Anonymous
Tablecloth ideas for a contemporary dining room? The walls are greige with white wainscotting, we have a very dark brown (almost black) wooden table and this chandelier: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004L6Q1PM/
I feel like most of the tablecloths I’ve seen would it fit with the “French country home” style of decor, which is not my house at all.
Anonymous
Go with a runner and placemats instead.
Anonymous
Tried that, it’s way too messy with a family with 2 kids, and I really want to protect the expensive table, even if it’s not the best look.
Anonymous
Glass top
Senior Attorney
They have some nice plain linen tablecloths at Crate and Barrel. How about this one with some silver sparkles? https://www.crateandbarrel.com/aurora-linen-tablecloth/f65488
Anonymous
Zara Home usually has nice options for linens.
Anonymous
Check out hotel collection @ Macys.
Anonymous
I like this one from Target– it’s white with grey stripes : https://www.target.com/p/gray-stripe-tablecloth-threshold-153/-/A-53469531?preselect=52883547#lnk=sametab
Anonymous
Sounds pretty. Garnier Theibault has some modern linen patterns. Gilt has them.
Basic networking question
My dream job just opened up at a midsize company. I meet the qualifications and it’s an opportunity to level-up in status and responsibility. I have met one of the senior managers of the company before, and I think this person will remember me if I explain the circumstances of our meeting and our mutual connection. Is this someone I can leverage for applying to this job? If so, how?
Tippins
Apply for the position, then send a short note letting them know you’ve applied. Maybe suggest a phone call or coffee to ask specific questions about the company? I’m pretty sure Ask A Manager has a script for this somewhere in the archives.
Anon
Does anyone have a favorite neutral gel polish color name?
Tippins
I like the Essie Gel Couture kit with Fairy Tailor polish and a clear top coat. Fairy Tailor is a very, very sheer pale pink.
Anonymous
I like CND gel, Bare Chemise.
Renee Poupard
Very cute top!
LA host
Hosting an open house this Saturday in LA with DH and would love to meet some of you in person. If you are free, shoot me an email at larette00 at gmail so I can send you an invite
Legally Brunette
Not in LA, but this is so sweet! have fun!
Rainbow Hair
Aw if I wasn’t booked from dawn to dusk on Saturday I would love to come meet!
Celia
Are those zeros or the letter O? I’ll be there!
younglawyer
I am a young lawyer. A partner staffed me on a file, and now I found out the client requires an extensive background check, when the file only involves looking at their marketing materials. They want your social security number, address, education credentials, etc., and broad permission to access any information from any institution or employer that might have information on you.
I expressed to the partner that I find this very invasive. I don’t see the purpose of this, nor do I want client running a credit check on me (I am not comfortable with them seeing my salary or loan info, for instance). He has either not bothered to look at the consent form (he isn’t filling one out) or is gas-lighting, and said “oh it’s just a criminal records check”. That’s not what the form says and I think this is a crazy request. Maybe this is not the hill to die on, but I’d like to know what other people think of this. Am I crazy to find this too invasive?
Anon
There are forms for criminals records checks that ask you to consent to credit checks as well. The company is just lazy/efficient and only uses one form.
Depending on which state you are in, the company might not even be allowed to run a credit check on you (unless you are handling financial materials). A large company with offices in many states will usually do the criminal check only, regardless of where you are located, because it’s easier to make a uniform policy.
So, congrats on reading the form and asking questions… now it’s research time.
MJ
This is nuts. Talk to someone else in your office re this.
Anon
It depends on the client. I once worked on a project for a bank, where I was required to agree to a criminal background check, a financial background and credit check, and had to be fingerprinted. Given the nature of the project, it was overkill. But the partner explained that was the requirement for the project, and let any associates choose to not work on that matter if desired. I personally didn’t care since I knew everything would come back clean.
Here, I think you have to weigh how important the partner is, how much other work you have, what your reputation at your firm is, and whether you are willing to burn the capital on this matter. In my experience, an associate gets one opportunity to opt-out of a matter (and this may not even be true at all firms). I used it as a second year to avoid a matter I found ethically problematic, and which was under a horrible partner. It wasn’t a big deal for me since I already had a good reputation and was known as a hard worker and I had not previously worked with, and never did work with, that partner. But, depending on your reputation, I think you run a very big risk that the partners are going to think you are overreacting.
Anonymous
Also, fwiw, the people at the client you will actually be working with are highly unlikely to know the results of the check beyond whether it comes back clear.
cbackson
I think it’s nuts, FWIW, and I would be comfortable pushing back on it on your behalf if you worked for me. But I’m that person who doesn’t give my doctor’s office my social security number, so…
Anonymous
This is really standard for many clients.