Coffee Break: Flairosol Mister

128 Comments

1. In accounting, what is the difference between “Advisory” and “Consulting”? I understand Audit and Tax and how they are different, but I am at a loss w/ Advisory and Consulting. Like to the point of are the employees even CPAs or do they have finance backgrounds (or is this where history majors can apply)? [I have to talk to a lot of B4 employees (some are accountants by way of background) and am tired of smiling and nodding when people say what they do and too timid to ask IRL.]

   1. Consulting and Advisory are completely unrelated to Accounting. Very few of us are CPAs. More MBAs on the Consulting side but not necessarily finance.

      1. What are they though and how are they different? They sound like the same thing. Is one like a MBB practice and one something else entirely?

         1. In my experience Consulting is more like a MBB practice and Advisory is hard to define but a bit closer to audit/accounting. People in Advisory don’t necessarily have CPAs.

            1. We as lawyers act in an advisory capacity, though people at the same time do consult us on what we believe the right (legal) path should be. My Dad says that advisory is a way for lawyers to get paid more money then mere consultants, since we are admitted to the bar, while consultants are not. Accountants who are CPAs are licensed and admitted, but if you don’t pass the CPA exam, like my ex, you cannot become licensed and admitted. At this point in my career, I no longer wish to get an MBA degree, since I have already learned in my practice under the manageing partner much of what would otherwise be simply “book knowledge”. Dad says not to waste time or money on that degree, and he is right. I don’t want to spend any time learning what I have already in substance learned on the job. FOOEY on that!

   2. I woke in MBB…Advisory and Consulting are the same thing…just depends on the firm naming it.

   3. Same thing. There are 2 divisions, audit (CPAs) and advisory/consulting (usually qualified accountants outside US, but MBAs in US and going that way globally). You’re not being stupid.

   4. Consulting bit more MBB. Advisory more corp finance or M&A.

2. If you live in Arlington VA, I understand that they just rezoned land so that you can build townhouses on almost any residential lot that is 6000+ sq feet. I rent a tiny house and now I’m guessing that the clock is ticking on this (I’m month to month; rent from military family where they have now retired to Florida and I’m guessing are just keeping the house in case a kid wants it to get VA residency or for work but now worried they may just cash out). Anyone want to guess how this goes?

   1. I don’t mean to be the voice of doom and gloom, but in my experience living in the Bay Area, if a landlord can kick you out to make more money, they will find a way to do it. Even in rent controlled units.

      Renting long, long term isn’t really something you can count on, unfortunately. I realize it’s different in NYC, but I don’t know a single person who has managed to hold on to a rent controlled unit in SF proper forever.

   2. Is the house in good condition? Do you think the owners would sell to a developer? Depending on how big the lot is, they might need to consolidate more than one lot to get a block of townhousing. (As in, there might be no immediate change), even if more density is permitted now.

      1. How to say this gently . . . the house is definitely habitable. I am ever so grateful not to be sharing walls, which is why I’m living here. It has central A/C. It is not otherwise updated, so it’s probably a tear-down if they ever went to sell it.

         1. How big is the lot?

            1. I looked it up and just over the 6000 limit.

   3. It sounds like you’re borrowing trouble.

      1. +1

   4. If they are no longer in the area, maybe they don’t know about the zoning changes? Are you able at all to make an offer on it? Otherwise… I think you are probably on borrowed time. If you have a chance to renew your lease, see if you can do a 2+ year one, at least, to buy yourself some time.

   5. I’d relax. It takes years to figure out how to redevelop a property as a nonprofessional homeowner and unless you think the LL is planning to sell, I wouldn’t stress. Just because they can doesn’t mean they will. It’s expensive, time consuming, takes permitting, etc.

   6. For now the only thing that changed is that they now can sell to someone who can build townhouses instead of someone who can build one giant house. Almost anywhere in Arlington there’s been a market for tear downs for years. They’re still renting to you. They don’t want to manage a giant project out of state – they’ll just sell. If you’re anxious, get a lease that’s not month to month. Be a chill tenant that doesn’t cause more trouble than keeping the property is worth.

   7. Not exactly…think of a building a big rectangle with 4-8 units. Not townhomes, where all face front, or even stacked townhomes, with one up, one down. Rather, a mini condo building. This primarily affects north Arlington. Depending on how the money works out, the developer will either build a McMansion that takes up the same area of the lot or the multi-unit building.

      Seriously, all the new luxury builds here are 5-7 bedrooms with a one-car garage and virtually no yard. Maybe I just grew up in the burbs, but if I have that much money, I want a lawn for parties. This reminds me of the $2 million home in Alexandria I saw a year or two ago that had no parking. Not just no covered parking, but not even a driveway. For $2 million. Darn, I’m poor.

   8. Hi, fellow Arlington dweller! Here is a link to the summary of the proposal, as passed: https://www.arlingtonva.us/About-Arlington/Newsroom/Articles/2023/County-Board-Adopts-Expanded-Housing-Options
      This the changes take effect as of July 1, 2023, and the annual number of permits, at least initially, is capped at 58. The summary linked above provides the distribution of permits among the different zones, which you can look up based on your address in an Arlington County property search. The risk, in my view, is sale of the property to a developer, which very much depends on the homeowner’s context and the location of the property, and could have happened at any time during your occupancy, even before the EHO passed.

3. I’m having an updated headshot done tomorrow. I am opting for an outdoor shoot as I want something less stuffy now that I’m a mid-career in-house attorney. I’m planning to keep wardrobe simple with an ivory shell and navy blazer, which is consistent with my personal style. Can I wear small pearl drop earrings or do they have to be studs as recommended most of the time here? And how about glasses? I wear them regularly, but usually put in contacts for important events. I did some test shots and I’m on the fence about both.

   1. You should look the way you look on a day to day basis. Pearl drops are fine. Wear your glasses if you wear glasses every day.

   2. FWIW, I always wear glasses at work and it never occurred to me not to wear them in my headshots. And pearl drop earrings sound fine, too!

      1. I wear reading glasses and don’t wear them in headshots b/c my natural self is only wearing them for reading (vs walking around or, g=d forbid, going up and down steps).

         1. Right, the point is you should look in your headshots the way you will look when clients meet you. If that’s no glasses for you, then that’s appropriate. It sounds like OP would wear glasses in the same setting, so it’s glasses on for her.

   3. It’s been a long time since this group would have said “you have to wear studs for a headshot” I think?! You want to look like your regular office self.

   4. I would skip glasses if you are using glasses with a lens for blue light. If you’re comfortable either way, then I’d probably go without so there is less risk of distortion of your eyes. It sounds like you’ve made a great choice on outfit, since a classic will age best over time. I would try to keep the jewelry classic as well for the same reason, whether stud or drop.

      1. +1 blue light glasses tend to look like transition lenses in photos.

   5. If you can, pop the lenses out of your glasses. Or find an old pair that look close enough to your current pair and pop the lenses out. That eliminates glare and distortion.

   6. so this is the exact look I went for with my last head shots (also mid-career in-house) and I really hate them, I feel like a flight attendant, or a law school student. I think it’s the plain shell that makes it look too formal/costumey. next time I’m going with color, something with more personality, probably no-jacket.

   7. Glasses are fine, but you could also do a few pics with them off to have options.

4. Just got an iphone 14 and wondering if anyone has phone case recommendations? Looking for something cute but sturdy as my kids drop my phone all the time

   1. Otterbox. Doesn’t have to be the Defender, but my non-Defender one has survived remarkable abuse. The Defender one seems almost bombproof.

      1. Seconded. My dad is retired from farming. He once had a Defender get snapped off his belt while getting into a tractor. The phone dropped from about 15 feet in the air. Then it got run over by the tractor before my dad realized what happened. The phone didn’t have a scratch. And Otterbox replaced the case at no charge.

         1. I’m so glad your dad’s phone survived its tractor encounter.

            Alas my husband’s phone did not survive being run over by a tractor, and it was in an Otterbox case but I don’t remember if it was the Defender model. My husband has since retired from farming and thankfully hasn’t managed to kill another phone yet.

   2. I have a Casetify case and I like it – it extends forwards past the phone screen which helps with face-on impacts, and likewise with protecting the camera lenses. They have a few different types with different levels of protection. In any case (pun not intended) the fact that I went back to Casetify when I got a new phone in October should tell you something!

      1. +1 Love my Casetify case

   3. +1 to Otterbox, or Lifeproof

   4. I have a Case-mate (Rifle Paper Co collab so it’s pretty :) and it has protected my iPhone 12 for 2+ years. I drop it all the time – on tile, on pavement – and I have three kids that also knock it around. I personally hate the look of Otterbox.

   5. Otterbox Commuter. Four to five years of use on my previous two phones, always dropping them. The cases were in shambles but the phones underneath were pristine.

   6. I love my pela case! it’s super cute and I drop my phone all t he time (unintentionally) and its fine. they last 2-3 years and are compostable! usually by the time 3 years is up im ready for a new different case

   7. I love the Otterbox Defender. No, its not sleek or shiny, but it protects your phone. I am HARD on phones – really hard and this has kept all my phones safe.

5. I bought a spray bottle like this from Sally Beauty. It broke a few months in. My unremarkable spray bottles from Target have been going strong for years and years.

6. Any advice on getting my first pair of glasses, where I need bifocals? I have a the minimum prescription on top, medium readers on the bottom.

   I feel like I should buy in person somewhere so I can try a bunch on, but I realize it is much much more expensive than online. I think I need a strong color/frame, thicker plastic to balance my coloring and features. Am anxious about it because it is such a big fashion statement, and worried I will buy something I think I like, and hate it 2 weeks later.

   Any of you get the graduated lenses? Wondering which is better for me. I also spend a significant amount of time on the computer every day.

   1. Warby Parker. Get progressives so you don’t have a line. Give yourself a few days to get used to them.

      I’m suggesting Warby Parker in person, by the way. Hopefully there’s a shop near you. They need to see you to draw the line at your pupil level.

      1. (A comment on cost. My progressives from WP cost $300 all in. They’re more expensive than single vision. But the last pair I had filled at my optometrist cost $800)

         1. Thanks for this info. I didn’t realize they had in person stores. I will check them out.

         2. Ooh! Will consider this for my next pair, then.

         3. I got 2 pairs of progressives from WP for $295 each. I like one a lot; the other isn’t quite as comfortable, but I haven’t taken it back to the store for adjusting. At Costco progressives would start around $220 with inexpensive frames. Costco doesn’t always have the most current cute frames, but they have better quality lenses and frames that WP. Just putting the Costco option out there.

            1. Thanks. I have checked Costco once, and couldn’t find a pair of frames I was excited about. But they said they get new ones all the time. I even thought about waiting for one of their sales, where I can get two pairs at a good discount.

               But I think I should look elsewhere for frame ideas too.

   2. I just got the 2.0 progressives from Foster Grant for like 40 a piece.

      1. Interesting – the multi-focus ones? Do you wear them all day, or just while you are seated at work etc…

         Ideally I’d like something I leave on all the time, but it looks like the multi-focus ones have some sort of script in the upper third.

         1. Yes. I wear them when reading but not when driving. But I’m not terrified of the stairs in them and can keep them on to walk around. Also, because I don’t always have them on, I can keep a pair at work and in my car and a purse.

            1. Also, I’m just a +2.0 for reading glasses. I don’t need anything else. YMMV with an actual prescription other than magnifying.

   3. Costco has a ton of options and is super cheap and has a great return policy.

   4. About changing your mind — most purveyors will allow you to change your mind, change up or fix the lenses, and so forth within 90 days of receiving the glasses. So don’t worry if you don’t like the glasses after a couple of weeks, you can return them. (I would confirm the return/change policy first, just in case.)

   5. My husband just bought progressives from Zenni for $70 all-in and they look really nice on him. The virtual try on feature is great for selecting and testing the frame appearance, but sizing is easier if you have a pair on hand to measure against. This is his first pair so he just tried a few of mine to get a feel for the various measurements.

7. All the posts about trying new hobbies encouraged me to go to my first yoga class today, and now I would like to try knitting. I used to do simple needlework when I was a child, and my mother made beautiful things, but I have never tried anything since.

   Can anyone recommend to me a starter “kit”? Like maybe they give you a set of needles, some instructions, and some yarn? Or how did you go about starting?

   1. Go to a locally owned yarn store and they will probably have advice on classes. If you’re close to me (Berkeley CA) I will teach you. Drop a burner.

   2. Watch some youtube videos and find an instructor whose videos seem to make sense. Then go to any store that sells supplies and buy 1-2 balls of yarn that seem relatively easy to work with (nothing too small or too big or too fuzzy). They will have a needle number on there — get those. Go home and try to follow the video. You will need to stop and back up and watch again multiple times. Maybe get a beginner book or two from the library. After you’ve experimented for a while, you will start to have more specific questions and interests, and google and youtube and your beginner knitting book from the library will answer those. I recommend a library for the book because if you get into knitting, you will outgrow a beginner book very quickly.

      Also check and see if your library, bookstore, or other community space has beginner classes.

      1. The yarn label might even have a recommendation on the size needle/crochet hook for that weight of yarn as well

   3. Annies Kit Clubs have fun projects and they will send you everything plus access to videos. I’ve made 2 of their throw blankets and really like them.
      I hope you had fun at your first yoga class! I am trying to do one new thing a month this year, so far I did a glass blowing class and made a candle. Then travel/life got in the way and I didn’t do anything for awhile, but I want to do aerial yoga next!

   4. I started by watching a youtube video and going to Michaels for some yarn and needles. A scarf is an easy first project.

   5. I really like Very Pink Knits on YouTube – great instruction! In my opinion, once you figure out casting on, knit stitch, and purl stich, you’re golden! Everything else is just variations of that.

   6. You can get starter kits on Etsy.

   7. I just started learning to knit in January and started with Sheep & Stitch, who has very clear tutorials.

   8. I learned how to knit last summer! It’s a very soothing hobby. I started with yarn that’s #4 (worsted) weight (basically regular yarn) and I find it a bit finicky sometimes. I would recommend starting with a chunkier yarn (#5 or #6) so it’s easier to maneuver when you’re first learning. I really like Sheep & Stitch on YouTube for videos—she really breaks everything down and will go over things multiple times in her videos so you can understand them.

      My biggest hesitation with knitting was that it seemed like an old lady activity and I would be able to make anything cool. If that’s your fear, look up Wool & The Gang—they have modern colors and knitting patterns and skew more contemporary. They also have beginner kits!

   9. For starting to knit, I’d recommend choosing a project that you actually want to do, in yarn that you like.

      Yarns that are made from wool from sheep or lambs are more springy and bouncy to the feel than yarns that are made from grasses like cotton or linen. Silk and alpaca have great drape, but less bounce.

      Yarns that have a big halo like mohair (goat), angora (rabbit) or mixes like kidsilk (silk and kid goat stomach hair) are difficult to redo if you make mistakes.

      Yarns that are made wholly or mostly from plastics (acrylic) can be cheap and durable, but may be uncomfortable and “squeaky”bto use.

      I’d recommend starting with a fingering, DK or sport weight yarn and no smaller than 3 mm or bigger than 5 mm needles. I would get an 80 cm long circular bamboo needle. You can do all sorts of knitting on a circular, both in the round and back and forth. I would choose a superwash wool yarn (or alpaca and wool blend) and do a small project like wrist warmers worked back and forth and sewn together at the end.

      You can find great tutorials on youtube, and lots of free patterns on Ravelry (the world’s biggest needlework pattern, yarn and socials) and places like knitty dot com.

      Here’s an easy garter stitch wrist warmer pattern:
      https://www.garnstudio.com/pattern.php?id=3715&cid=17

8. Help me brainstorm causes please.

   My left foot suddenly felt swollen starting Saturday afternoon – it’s a bit better after a run and a yoga session over the weekend but still a bit weird. It doesn’t seem to respond to direct foot massages, but seems to feel a lot better when I massage out IT band, thighs, and calves (all of which were EXTREMELY tight and painful) with a foam roller.

   I have been rather inactive due to Post-Exertion Malaise in the last week, but not a lot of sitting still with feet on the ground (more like lounging in bed). Entire left and right leg feels sore – not like good-post-exercise sore, but more like dehydrated-muscle-then-stretched-out-on-foam-roller sore.

   Do I just go to the physio? Should I ask a doctor to check for anything else?

   Other symptoms (but more long-standing) that may or may not be relevant are
   – breathlessness (new symptom developed in last few weeks — a bit better in the last few days though, and not very pronounced)
   – fatigue and PEM (last several months, getting better although last week was a crash due to an overambitious 20 minute exercise session)
   – urinary incontinence (on and off – more pronounced in the last several days)
   – joint pain (last few months)
   – insomnia (several months, but better in the last several weeks after getting B12 injections)
   – pins and needles, stinging or stabbing neuropathy (several months, but better in the last several weeks after getting B12 injections)

   Doctors generally tend to chalk up any new symptoms up to long COVID, but just wanted to make sure I’m not overlooking anything that may be more acute. I was checked for DVT due to swollen calves and breathlessness a few years ago (ultrasound) and the doctor said that my veins are generally not predisposed to DVT/PE (very deep and thick apparently ?) — but who knows after long COVID. Thank you in advance.

   1. This is tbh a lot. I’d try Advil, ice, and resting it. You sound very attuned to your body but not everything is a crisis.

      1. Actually uneven swelling like that can be a sign of a circulatory problem—she should get it checked right away.

   2. Get checked out for a blood clot and don’t put it off.

      1. +1. Asymmetrical swelling without obvious cause (like a sprained ankle) is a bright red flag. Go to urgent care or your doctor today.

         1. Agree. This is seeming non-vanilla.

         2. +2 asymmetrical swelling + breathlessness sure as hell sounds like an embolism.

      2. THIS.

   3. I would consider kidney issues. Breathlesness can be caused by water retention, as can swelling, obviously.

   4. What do you mean… “felt swollen”….. Is it swollen or not?

      There is no such thing as you probably wont get a DVT because your veins are “very deep and thick”. ???.
      It would be rare to have a DVT in your foot. Do you see/feel swollen veins in your foot? Or anything else abnormal?

      But sure if your foot is suddenly swollen/tender/red/painful, call your doctor and ask the nurse what you should do.

      1. It’s not ACTUALLY swollen. No more veins than usual. I saw a GP today to get a physio referral and mentioned the breathlessness, but he didn’t seem concerned (although I didn’t specifically ask re DVT)…

         1. ugh….

            You don’t have a DVT if you have no swelling, no redness, no palpable vein/cord, no pain etc… with chronic breathlessness.

            I think you need to take a step back. More mindfulness/relaxation. More yoga. More getting out and doing things with your mind and not just your body. You are focusing too much on minutia and not on the big picture. Continue with your B12 shots and see where things settle.

   5. This is a lot. I think this requires working with a doctor. But the first steps are always the basics: good nutrition, sleep, drink water, gentle exercise. A bath might feel good, and provides light compression. I would elevate your legs, maybe even yoga style with a block under your b@tt and legs up against a wall. M@ssage the legs downward and see if you can relieve the swelling. Hugs to you, and take it easy.

   6. Thank you- to clarify, it’s not ACTUALLY swollen, just feels that way. I don’t see any discoloration or bruises or veins standing out in my legs (asked my partner to check it for good measure), and breathlessness is actually better in the past few days that I had this swollen feeling in my foot .

      1. Do you think this is just the neuropathy being weird? Are you on the neurological loading doses of B12 (usually alternate day or three days a week)? Sometimes there are new sensations of numbness or paresthesia as the nerves wake up gradually during the nerve healing that happens on the continuous dosing schedule.

         But I still don’t like that it’s asymmetrical, and I would be calling my doctor or a nurse line to report the symptom and get advice.

         1. Ah, given the clarification, this is what neuropathy felt like in my foot. Compression stockings really helped, though it may have been psychosomatic.

         2. Yep, on loading doses for the past several weeks. I switched from Hydro xocobalamin to Methyl + Adeno last Friday so maybe it’s indeed just the neuropathy being weird. Thank you – will do that.

   7. I agree with you and w/others that you do need a doctor to check for a blot clot. If you have a history of B12 deficiency, you could have a history of elevated homocysteine, which increases risk of blood clots. And as you know, so does COVID-19.

   8. Malaise? Mood related?

   9. Is no one else bothered by the urinary incontinence?

      1. I mean, this is a list of every possible complaint she has, and I’m a little more worried about her over-attentiveness to her body than dissecting every issue even more. She clearly is followed by many providers and reports her symptoms quickly. The chances of it being related to her foot are pretty unlikely, and she has already seen a doctor about this today and is still asking us….?. And considering how common urinary incontinence is in women, I leave it to her to talk to her providers.

         So yes, it is very bothersome. I wish more docs warned us of all of the complication of pregnancy/childbirth/aging/perimenopause and that we shared these more among woman.

         1. I’m several months into suffering from long Covid and my doctor’s response to my worsening neuropathy and myriad symptoms was “it’s long COVID, there’s no underlying disease, stop looking and giving yourself anxiety.”

            Once I educated myself and asked for testing re potentially treatable causes of polyneuropathy, it turned out I have B12 deficiency and B6 deficiency as well as a few other issues. So I’m coming from a place of, yes I have long COVID which is likely triggering all these issues, but let’s at least investigate the ones that we can actually do something about.

            My QoL is frankly in the pits, and doctors won’t make the connections on their own — hence why I’m on this board asking for ideas in case someone has experienced something similar that I may benefit from ruling out. I don’t usually go to the GP unless it’s significantly bothersome – usually assuming it will pass.

            1. Gently, I do not think this community is the right audience for your questions. Surely there’s a Long Covid subreddit where you can get suggestions from people who are going through experiences much more similar to your own than the folks on this board? Or a subreddit for people with complex health needs in general. I don’t think you’re going to get the information or emotional support you’re looking for here; that’s not what this community is centered around. Good luck and I hope you can find a supportive community that can be more helpful about your issues.

            2. “Gently,”who named you the comment police over what is and isn’t OK to ask?

               Some of the rudest comments lately seem to come from this desperate need to police others. Trust me, you can just scroll.

            3. Anon at 6:58, I’m aware that some people believe that the chronically ill should be neither seen nor heard, but COVID is obviously complicating things as it has increased the risk of new chronic illness substantially among people of working age. And honestly not everyone has the same options, the same social capital, and the same access to healthcare; it can help to compare notes with people who have had the time and the resources and the education to take an active role with their medical team.

               If you’re right, I’m sure OP will learn not to ask these questions here. If OP learns something here, then I wonder what’s keeping you from scrolling on by?

            4. Actually, the OP does bring up an interesting point that is worth making.

               One challenge with COVID/long COVID/Post-COVID is that it may overlap with or obscure other underlying problems… and lead to missing other diagnoses. Sounds like the OP is saying that her (primary care?) doctor missed her B12 deficiency because the doctor had already decided to just call every complaint the OP had “long COVID”. That is a problem. And with anxiety (which can come both after COVID for good reasons, and with B12 deficiency), there is worry a bit more about any new symptom/ache/pain and perhaps run to the doctor a bit more often. This leads to more dismissiveness. “The boy who cried wolf” syndrome. And then something gets missed.

               And of course, women are already dismissed more often by their doctors. My cousin had some really striking new medical problems, but most of the symptoms were subjective. Her first two male doctors totally dismissed her, and made a point of writing “anxious woman” in their notes. Well, I got her to the right specialist and they diagnosed her right away and started her on treatment. Sadly, I told her to bring her husband with her and have him back up everything she was saying and firmly advocate for her. I’m sorry I had to tell her that.

               OP, I hope things get better for you. But I gotta tell you that you have made great strides if you are able to do all of the work-outs you describe and can get in to see docs as readily as you are and are working as well. You are doing better than most of us, frankly. The other poster made a great suggestion about looking to Reddit groups or bulletin boards for the specific medical issues/problems you are having. Those are much higher yield than here.

            5. Anon at 6:58, I’m a previously fit, fully vaccinated corporate lawyer in Biglaw and this board has been enormously helpful in the past 7 years that I have been reading it, regardless of the randomness of issue. Not sure why that audience would be changed for this.

               I suspect it makes some people uncomfortable and scared esp to see someone on a corporate board now complain of a health disaster – which can strike randomly – and they would like to “protect” themselves somehow by putting distance between my misfortune and themselves. hence the efforts to shut it down, tell me I’m overthinking this (paraphrasing but whatever), take it elsewhere etc.

               Reddit is generally not helpful as it’s full of people trying wild things out of sheer desperation – there is no moderation. Body Politic is shutting down due to funding issues. Doctors are wringing their hands.

            6. OP – If you are still working as a corporate lawyer, you’re doing very well. That might be hard to see for you, but you are. It hurts to see people around you that seem to have no health concerns, but you would be surprised how many do. Especially as people hit their 40’s. I think what might be rubbing people a little on this board is that many of us have problems, and don’t post about every medical complaint. And yours is quite mild relatively (foot thing) and is not a common thing that people on this board would know much about. You can see that many people panicked and told you to go to the hospital to look for a life threatening DVT. That was not the right response, and that’s unfortunate. It caused more panic for you, and frustration with posters.

               While it feels like you are in a catastrophe, that it is a bit extreme of a response. In medicine catastrophe refers to …. life ending conditions, severe disability (like traumatic brain injury and never able to care for yourself again, spinal cord injury, loss of limbs with additional complications, end stage severe dementia, extreme psychosis now living on the streets etc…). You may not realize it, but most humans can’t be a corporate lawyer, even if they had the health/mental capacity. You are the top 1%. But your stress/frustration/anxiety is palpable. Don’t forget to treat that aggressively, and know that normalizing your B12 will help.

               I disagree with you that there are not better sites than this one for medical issues. Start with a search for B12 deficiency discussions. B12 deficiency is so so common. Make sure you know whether it occurred due to your diet or other reasons, and that your long term treatment plan is clear. B12 deficiency can cause so many symptoms and take awhile to stabilize. If you aren’t confident in your doctor, check in with a neurologist specializing in peripheral neuropathy to see what they think. General primary care doctors can be less knowledgeable about B12 deficiency.

            7. This website is not m0derated for health care discussions. There are other websites that do sometimes have knowledgeable nurses or volunteers that keep things safe. You aren’t looking in the right place.

            8. Thanks for the perspective. For context, I have not been able to work at all since this whole thing started. I was basically housebound for the initial few months, and I am in a country with no family within a 12 hour flight (and my parents are high risk), so I had no choice but to look after myself, get myself to appointments, etc. I don’t have good health care options back home for this kind of thing, even if I were able to travel. My overambitious 20 minute “exercise session” is basically walking… and is a massive improvement. I’ll look into support groups – have not had much luck aside from Fishbowl but maybe I’ll be able to find one if I look hard enough?

      2. I’m not because I suspect the OP is also drinking 125 oz of water per day.

         1. No just 2 liters…

9. I’m 60% sure I strained my ACL, which I’ve torn and had repaired a few years ago. (20% it’s all in my head, 20% I tore it again.) I tried to do a yoga stretching thing yesterday and it feels worse today. Should I try to do the squats and legs workout I had planned for today? Should I avoid pigeon pose (part of my regular cooldown)? Any ideas?

   1. I would avoid squats if you think you reinjured your knee.

   2. Are you insane? Stop working out and go to a doctor

   3. “I think I hurt my ACL, should I lift today” is a ridiculous question. Of course you shouldn’t and obviously you should go get actual medical advice. What has gotten into people today.

10. Help me settle a debate. What sort of level of seniority and/or contract rate hourly wage would you expect for an individual responsible for the following tasks:

    – schedule meetings between internal executives (consulting partners) and senior level external parties, very similar task to what an executive admin would do; often coordinates directly with the other party’s EA.

    – track progress of meetings to schedule vs meetings scheduled and provide reports to project manager

    – ensure external party receives compensation for the call (this is more often straightforward payment processing but sometimes requires paperwork back and forth).

    Approx 10 hours/week of work looking at historical data.

    My partner and I vary greatly as to how much this person will need to make to be decent at his/her job.

    1. Call agencies and have them give you a rate. You pay more per hour for ~10 hours per week, especially if you want fast turnaround.

    2. $1,000/hour because this sounds like the most boring job ever. Scheduling meetings for 10 hours/week? Yikes.

    3. This is part administrative and part project management – idk, assume a salary of like $80K+ per year, back that into an hourly rate using the type of formula that people considering being independent contractors use?

       The hardest part will be finding someone who is smart and detail-oriented enough to be good at this job, and yet still want to do it…

       1. The type of formula independent contractors (like me) use is to take your effective hourly rate as a salaried employee and double it. It’s just about right when you consider you have to pay self employment taxes & franchise taxes, buy your own benefits, pay overhead expenses such as wfh/office space + equipment like computer/printer etc, and potentially buy professional liability and other business insurance. You’re also forgoing protections like state short term disability, unemployment insurance, and workers’ compensation.

          1. I’m the OP and I’ve been a 1099, so I’m familiar with all this.

             I don’t need a specific number, but y’all have assured me I’m not crazy. My business partner is being penny wise/pound foolish/ likely just unrealistic. We got a quote for $100/hr and she had a fit; I told her we could probably find someone cheaper but too much cheaper and we’d be paying the same cost with more headache (eg what takes a skilled person 5 hours @ $80/hr may take someone else 10 hours @ $40).

             Right now we have someone doing this stuff for us off the side of her desk but it’s becoming more of her job than she wants and she makes $80/hr doing more complex work so that’s part of the rub, I think.

       2. I don’t really see the project management aspect that pushes it to 80k. Schedule meetings, keep track of not-yet-scheduled meetings, track reimbursements sounds all more admin than project manager.

          1. Yeah, this sounds entirely admin to me. Also not all project managers make $80k! I am one and make $55k. Granted, LCOL industry and notoriously bad paying industry (higher ed) but I think there’s too much variation by region and industry to name a specific number.

          2. FWIW I was reading the historical data part (that 10 hours a week) as beyond an admin role – maybe PM is the wrong substantive title, but it seemed like more skills than a typical admin role.

11. Any recommendations for jeans that won’t break the bank? I haven’t bought any in a few years and have outgrown my Lucky brand pairs (bodybuilder and thighs and glutes keep growing). Any recommendations? I am happy to go back to Lucky as they last years. I feel like a lot of girls in their 20’s nowadays (I am 40) are wearing Abercrombie or Levi’s. Thanks in advance!

    Also, Thanks to all of those who commented on my post this AM about the trench coat. Now I want a London Fog trench, but the one I was eyeing isn’t on sale at Macy’s now and the one on the LF website looks updated but costs a lot more.

    1. I’ve been really happy with my H&M jeans. Higher rise, bit curvy, 100% cotton.

    2. Levi’s
       Wedgie straight

       1. How short are those? I am 5’6″. They look pretty short online.

          1. I think they come in 26 and 28 inseam

       2. My favorites too- I have a smaller waist, thicker legs

    3. I love my everlane jeans! I feel like they’re madewell quality but slightly cheaper

    4. Levi signature straight leg jeans on amazon.

    5. I’m 43, also a bodybuilder, and the Abercrombie curve love jeans fit better than any jeans in years.

       1. Ohh awesome. Do you know which exact ones you wear? I have never worn theirs and the reviews are mixed on some saying sizing is off.

          1. I bought the curve love 90s straight, in the same size I wear at Gap/Old Navy etc. Based on the reviews, the ones with the crossover waist run smaller, but I just got the ones with a normal waist.

12. I bought the Roc retinol cream that was recommended here, and I’ve used it twice so far. I know retinol can be an irritating ingredient, and I started by alternating it with my other actives (I use BHA and Vitamin C). My face is not happy, so I’m giving my skin the night off.

    How long does it take for your skin to get used to the Retinol? Should I plan to take some nights off with zero actives and then rotate between the retinol, BHA, and vitamin C? I worked my way up to the BHA and vitamin C over time, and I’ve been using both for 2+ years, so I know my face can handle actives.

    1. I was happy with Peter Thomas Roth. Maybe switch brands?

    2. I ended up having to switch to retinaldehyde (I was working with a dermatologist, but the conclusion was that my skin was just too sensitive for retinol). Definitely rotating and working up gradually were some of the things we tried though!

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