ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 195 Comments

Thursday’s Coffee Break: Malala Heel

black Mary Jane heel with pointed cap toe in patent leather, matte tooled leather on body of shoe, and a heel with an interesting fluted shape

Ever since we first started talking about comfortable heels on Corporette, a lot of readers — a LOT! — over the years have sung the praises of Fluevog shoes. The brand (IMHO) tends to swing between funky and fugly, but I think these lovely Mary Jane heels are firmly in the fun category.

I love the little details here — the patent cap toe and the patent buckle — the fluted heel — and the matte, tooled leather on the body of the shoe. I think they look really comfortable, and Mary Jane heels are having a moment, so these are on trend if you want something with a bit more personality than the standard things out there.

The heels are $299 at JohnFluevog.com, and they available in six colorways. (Including, bestill my heart, a purple suede that is the perfect color for purple heels.)

Looking for something similar but for less? There are a number of Mary Jane heels in the upcoming NAS, including these sleek ones from Marc Fisher LTD and these comfortable ones from Söfft, both for under $100.

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

195 Comments

  1. Hello, non-parent taking friends’ tweens to “summer camp” at our country house here again 👋

    Podcast or audiobook recommendations? The drive is 7 hours 😳

    I played Boxcar Children (a rec I saw here once) for them last time on the drive, and when we stopped for gas, they actually begged me to NOT turn it back on 😂

    The oldest naturally thinks he is too cool for evvverything for the first couple days until he drops the attitude and lets himself have fun 😉

    Thanks!

    1. What ages? Some people consider 8 year olds tweens, but there’s a huge difference between that and 12 year olds. Can you ask the parents or the kids themselves what books they’re into?

      1. Hard agree! Anything you pick could go poorly.

        However… If they are in the 10-12 year old range, they might enjoy Wings of Fire. (Littler kids like it, too, but it can be violent – I mean, for dragons).
        If they’re in the 8-10 range, they might enjoy the “But Why?” podcast by NPR (and oooh, I just discovered they have Radiolab for Kids on NPR!)

        For long car rides with my kids, I ask them to download books they enjoy on a tablet, then have a headphone splitter so they can listen to what they like (or take turns), and I still get to listen to something I like.

    2. MIght they like some sword and sorcery? When my kid was that age we loved a Lord of the Rings ripoff series called The Sword of Shannara.

      Also I loved the full-cast audiobook of Neil Gaimann’s The Graveyard Book (although I know he turned out to be Just Another Horrible White Man — ugh). https://www.amazon.com/The-Graveyard-Book-Full-Cast-Production/dp/B00LXHLS9Q/ref=sr_1_2?crid=397DVPBZZZPOT&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.7mYI_chs9cF6Sk5b28yjpMOZ7F6b4YOfymw71JeRSbqlJdMERFivPl81sZCX5T0U2cAzpdVpgbP6pBTWd0vdTJYA69UWrBIMX9N9TEpESIk.C2tsjgAmSuU9ZJwB0kK00y1TkxwAflz8mvUIlGLSQnM&dib_tag=se&keywords=neil+gaiman+graveyard&qid=1720721065&s=audible&sprefix=neil+gaiman+graveyard%2Caudible%2C142&sr=1-2

    3. we all enjoy the Redwall audiobooks, which are read by the author and a cast with plenty of good voices and songs. Four kids ages 3-12.

    5. when i looked into it there were a lot of accollades for a podcast called Mars Patel — i think it’s read by Hayden Christiansen, Jennifer Garner, and other people. mystery story for kids.

      you might also ask what they’re studying in school and their favorite subject – if it’s social studies lots of good history podcasts that might be cool. nyt just had a roundup.

    6. My kids love Stuff You Should Know animal episodes. You can tailor to whatever interests your tweens.

    7. My kids like Geography Now on YouTube and the Rick Steves videos we have in DVD

      Revolutions Podcast
      Explorers podcast

      Both excellent history podcasts

    8. Do you all have to do the same thing? We did a lot of long car trips as a family and my siblings and I each had a Walkman (lol), our own books or magazines, etc. My parents listened to whatever they wanted on the radio.

      Occasionally we’d play a card game (War or Uno works well since it’s not spread out) or something like the license plate game as a group. We also had a few travel games like Battleship.

    9. I don’t have any suggestions other than you are a total saint for doing this for these kids/parents

    10. Why not let them pick the playlist? id be really interested to listen to whatever music tweens are into. A podcaster I follow says letting her kids curate the music is an excellent way to connect with them and I agree. Even if you hate it it’s worth the goodwill to start the trip off.

      Fwiw the boxcar children seems like a really poor suggestion. It was outdated when I was in elementary school in the 1980s.

      1. +1 I would let the kids switch off who is in charge of “aux” over the long drive. It’s a fun responsibility for a teens and interesting to hear what they’re listening to!

      3. I was born in 90s and loved the Boxcar children :) I do think it skews younger than tween though, especially if you mean 11-12 year old tween.

        2. I loved them as well as a 90s kid but more ages 6-9 I’d say. They are also written to be very easy to read (chapter book format but at an earlier reading level than most) so it might just not work as well as a book on tape

    12. I would have hated listening to a podcast or audiobook as a tween or teen. In fact, I hate them now too. See if this is something they actually want. You can always just play your own thing and they can use headphones to play their own thing.

      2. I can’t listen to podcasts or audiobooks either. I don’t know why. I love reading and read a ton but hearing it just doesn’t work for me. I do 100% music in the car.

  2. When buying original art, are you meant to negotiate? Price point is around $1k/piece, if it matters, and I’m communicating directly with the artist (I found her webpage), not going through a gallery.

    1. I would not negotiate unless I was at a market or art fair kind of place.

      In your situation, negotiating is to say directly to a person that their skill or time is worth less to you than what they think. If you were buying five items, maybe, but one? No.

      1. I am buying multiple items, and was mainly thinking if it was worth asking for some sort of discount since I’m purchasing more than one piece.

        1. You can always ask. Even if you don’t get a discount on the pieces, you might be able to get a discount on the shipping. For bigger purchases, I’ve normally been able to haggle either a discount for the amount of the credit card fees for payments by check or a discount for the amount they would have paid the art show / gallery when I buy direct from them.

        2. You can ask if the artist provides a discount for buying several pieces, but be prepared to be turned down.

        3. Knowing and working with artists, I think it’s situation dependent. On the one hand it can make them feel or treat themselves with less value if they are young, a woman, or it’s non traditional art but they need to say no. On the other hand it’s typical for up to 10% for multiples and many times they offer themselves because they have costs. If you love them but can’t afford them all let them know and ask. If they are close by you can ask their opinion on how to display them. Enjoy!

    2. Just out of curiosity would you mind sharing the artist? I’m starting to invest more in original art and I’m always on the hunt for new artists.

    3. No, it’s already hard to make a living as an artist and it’s disrespectful. I would never seek a discount when buying art from the artist directly. I wouldn’t even ask, and as an artist, I probably wouldn’t sell to you if you did ask,

      1. If it’s that hard to make a living as an artist, it’s probably best to sell to people at full price even if they inquired about a discount!

        1. +1 yea I get not wanting to offer a discount, but it seems dumb to refuse to sell to someone willing to pay full price just because they politely ask about a discount for multiple items.

        2. I agree with you as a matter of pure economics, but art is about emotion and it’s just so incredibly insulting and rude. Buying multiple pieces is different. Buying one and asking for a discount, I’ll eat ramen and sell to someone else who respects me.

          1. Ps – I sideline as an artist but I don’t think I’d sell out like that even if it was my only income, but maybe I would.

          2. I always figured it’s 100% about the buyer, not about me or even the art. There are people who pay full price without blinking and then dump the original painting at Goodwill when they redecorate, and people who will try to get a discount and then treat the painting like something valuable to them.

            But it’s fair to point that some people are sensitive about it.

    4. I just bought my first pieces from a gallery, like well-known, has artists in residence, etc. and they offered two discounts: first was 10% off because the pieces I wanted weren’t on display and second was upping it to 15% because I bought three pieces. Art plus shipping and handling was just over $5k

      The owner of the gallery is who I dealt with and they offered the discount, but I would have asked if they offered one for multiple pieces.

  3. Okay, these shoes reminded me of Sally at Already Pretty, who used to wear a lot of Boden and Fluevog back in the day. So I googled her and it looks like Already Pretty is long gone and then she had another blog for a while (alas, the photos won’t load), which stopped in 2021 with a post titled, somewhat ironically, “It’s Not About How You Look.”

    Anybody else remember the golden age of fashion bloggers (in the oughts)? Any favorites still out there?

    1. huh i thought already pretty was still up just not producing new things — i know sally was ghostwriting for a while. i just looked at grechen’s closet just yesterday and wondered what had happened to her — she dropped off the face of the earth in 2015 or so. hope she’s well.

      i feel like the death of good RSS readers killed a lot of those blogs. i wish there were a way to subscribe to IG or TikTok the same way you could to an RSS feed; i feel like so much of it is just whatever the algorithm wants to show me. half the time i can’t even remember the name of the people i like enough to check up on them.

      1. I started using The Old Reader after the Google one went away. I follow a rew fashion blogs and a lot of recipe blogs.

        On IG, I feel like half my feed is suggested content and I rarely see anyone I’m actually following.

      2. Love the Directrice. I am never going to dress like her, but I am always going to be entertained by her.

    3. I remember Already Pretty! I still read You Look Fab occasionally. I’ve been following Wardrobe Oxygen since before she had a kid. I follow Franish on IG and she has moved on to OB/GYN doctor content.

      Blue Collar Red Lipstick was one I followed but I think she shut down her blog.

      1. I still read You Look Fab and I follow Wardrobe Oxygen (on Insta), too.

      2. Seriously. I took some advice from her early on but could not follow her down the clown car overstuffed closet in clown colors.

      3. Same. And I will own that my tastes are pretty kinda basic, but I can still appreciate quirky or different. Sally’s sense of style was terrrrrible. So many colors. So many weird proportions. So many things that just looked wrong together. These shoes are 100 percent her vibe.

    5. Not at all a fashion blogger, but I do feel like Mimi Smartypants has been one of the more consistent things in my adult life. I very much appreciate that she still posts arounds once a month.

        1. I know she worked on the Hill when she started her blog. She is now a lawyer living in Washington state. I think she is in private practice.

        3. She was yes, and moreover on the day of the Sandy Hook shootings, she made it all about what a hard day it was *for her* because some people were saying mean things to her. When 20 families lost their 6 year olds and a community was forever shattered. Abra is an AWFUL person.

    7. Oh I loved the trio of academics but their blog names are escaping me. And Kendi. In other early blogger nostalgia, I googled Meg from A Practical Wedding.

        1. Loved them!

          Kendi is still around on IG, I think, but her current style is not for me.

      2. Ok so this is VERY niche internet gossip but apparently Meg is a terribly boss and a huge mean girl IRL. I knew two of the photographers she worked with frequently and one of the posters from her site and both had terrible things to say about her. Apparently she’s sweet as pie until she gets angry/irritated and then it’s like Jekyl and Hyde.

    8. Un-fancy, who recently started posting again! Unfortunately I don’t love her style now, but I am happy she’s back.

    9. I read The Vivienne Files and Une Femme d’un Certain Age, mainly because my starting Chrome screen recommends them to me every time I open a tab. I check in on You Look Fab sometimes but I have never really joined the fawning forums, though I do have a login.

      1. I left that site when the forums because this weird echo chamber of many insecure women. And Angie clearly never liked me or my contributions, lol. She only responded favorably to the fawners.

    10. I followed a bunch of fashion bloggers back in the aughts. I still follow a few on IG, but it’s a totally new group of people and it all looks the same after awhile.

    11. Oh, and in a similar vein as Sally (lots of colored tights!), I remember Kasmira of What I Wore 2Day. She’s actually still on Instagram and posts outfits occasionally. Her style really hasn’t changed that much.

      Others: B Jones Style, Atlantic/Pacific, Respect the Shoes. And yes, I LOVE The Directrice.

    13. Also, I hate that I get excited about shoes in this blog only to find out they only come in mediums. Please highlight shoes that come in wides (and narrows.). Thanks! For those who need shoes for messed up feet, check out barkingdogshoes.com

  4. Can a first responder or psychologist explain all these tragic but SO STUPID deaths out in the west where it’s 110* and people are out hiking at noon and naturally die of heat stroke? What the heck are you doing on a trail at noon when it’s over 100* and there are warnings everywhere? Is it hubris? Ignorance? I don’t understand! Common sense says it’s really hot!

    The death of the 10 year old boy in Arizona saddens me deeply. And makes me want criminal charges for the parents. Hiking from 9:30-2 pm when it was 113*! What are you thinking!? The family had apparently just moved to town from Missouri, but still! “Hey, junior might be hot and tired, it’s been over four hours on a really, really hot day with no shade at all.”

    1. People really don’t take heat seriously enough, especially with children (and the elderly). Maybe it’s because folks grew up with football practice in the heat of August and you were a wimp if you couldn’t handle it, but it was always really dangerous and is only getting more so as summers get hotter. I just saw a news article that apparently tree limbs spontaneously fall when it gets too hot?! Lots of dangers we just aren’t trained to think about.

      1. Omg that is heartbreaking. I live in MA and my mom’s group has an active WhatsApp of the best shaded, stroller friendly trails, with splashpads for summer walks. Babies having a really hard time regulating body temps was drilled into us by the pediatricians in our practice and it doesn’t even get that hot here (this week is awful but generally!).

      2. A family I grew up with just posted pictures of “Baby’s First Sunburn!” on Facebook from their trip to the Outer Banks. I think they were aiming for cute, but it gave me the shudders. The poor 1yo had bright red legs that had been left unprotected by her long sleeve onesie.

        1. Ow I winced just reading that. Do people still not know about the melanoma risk from the sunburns we get when we’re young?

          1. Yeah plus a bright red sunburn would also be very painful for the poor kid! My daughter got a very mild sunburn as an infant on a trip to the Caribbean, and I still feel guilty about it.

    3. I hiked the Bright Angel Trail in March (with 30 lbs on my back coming up from a river trip) and it was absolutely no joke. I cannot even imagine wanting to hike that trail in the heat and I think families should never, ever do it midday in summer.

      That said, the area where I live (California) has gone a bit too “nanny state” on heat protection. We had a heat wave 2 years ago and my city shut down ALL parks and open space for six days, including over a holiday weekend, even though the weather was 58 degrees in the early morning. That was excessive and I told them so.

      1. Was that about heat or about fire? Where I live in CA, they’re understandably cautious about fire risk when it’s hot and dry, which prompts closures, but I’ve never seen one justified solely by heat risk.

        1. Heat was the main consideration, although fire was also mentioned. However, these are open space areas with no overnight camping, motorized access, grills, or other overt fire risks. There were no active fires either. It was very excessive. We really shouldn’t shut down all of the open space on the off chance that some cigarette smoker who is also going hiking is going to start a fire.

          1. I’m in Alameda county – they shut down Tilden park trails & those in other regional parks during the heat wave. Given how many people have been setting off illegal fireworks around me for the last 2 weeks, I’m glad they did it!

          2. Yes, we really should. Have you forgotten the wildfire that was started by a gender reveal party?

          3. It is not necessary to shut down open space when it’s 58 degrees out – please.

      2. Another Californian and I agree (though I’m still bitter about the fact that the beaches and playgrounds were closed long after it was clear it was hard to transmit COVID outdoors). We have so little free public open space in the big urban areas as it is, shutting it down all of it over a holiday is unnecessary IMO.

        1. Agreed. We don’t shut down all highways because some people drive drunk or close Yosemite because some people BASE jump illegally (both of which put burden on first responders).

    4. I do a lot of backcountry recreation with the attendant risks, and the avalanche safety human factors research (basically, research into why skiers didn’t turn back, often when they have knowledge and education about avalanche risk) is applicable to a lot of other activities. Just sub out snow-specific terms

      I’ll avoid a link but the acronym “FACETS” + avalanche safety will get a ton of results.

      The other thing to keep in mind is that a lot of the things you can die from in the backcountry /also/ impair your judgement and cognition – heat stroke, hypothermia, blood loss, altitude sickness, dehydration, etc. So it’s not unusual to read incident reports, and think “why didn’t they just —??”

      1. This. I took WFA From NOLs and highly recommend it but I got scared of just this thing when I began going camping with scouts as the responsible adult. No matter the season, if it’s not the weather it’s our general risk that we bring with us. Sh*t can happen and rescue us harder if you are away from a town and not on a good road or path.

    5. The same thing happens every single year in NYC beaches but at least that kind of makes sense to me (9 times out of 10 it’s teenagers going to the beach after dark even though they can’t swim and drowning in the riptipe).
      Heat stroke is no joke but so many people don’t take it seriously or think it won’t impact them. It’s really really hard to keep up with fluids/electrolytes when you’re exerting yourself in seriously hot weather, even if you’re trying to drink a ton. Our neighbor is a firefighter and STILL gave himself heat stroke landscaping (hauling gravel around) on a 90+ degree day earlier this week.

      1. Yeah, we were in Lisbon last summer for camp and my son came home drowsy and a bit floppy one day. I assumed he was just really tired, but one of the camp dads messaged and said “that’s dehydration!” and got in the car at 11pm and brought me dehydration tablets. I spent the rest of the time hiding a few cracks of salt in mango juice, and he was fine but it was pretty scary. I grew up in a really hot climate but we weren’t really that outdoorsy in it, so I wasn’t used to it.

        We are back in Portugal and I’m shocked by the people at the beach – ignoring the very careful lifeguards, facing away from the waves while posing for photos, just questionable swim skills. My son is a weirdo in a life vest but it’s the Atlantic?

        1. I’m super cautious of open water swimming. My tween nephew (strong and experienced swimmer!) didn’t clock his exhaustion after a day of swimming out to a floating raftand diving in lather/rinse/repeat. My husband and I both had to swim out to get help tow him back in after he realized he couldn’t manage the swim back to shore the last time (thank goodness he was only a few strokes away from the raft, got there, and then flagged us down!). This was in the calm/flat Long Island sound.
          We were always taught to never turn your back on the ocean, riptide safety, etc. when swimming in the Atlantic. Especially in August/September – that’s hurrican season and the tides are strong!

    6. Hopefully the word has gone out by now, but seasonal PSA that many medications reduce heat tolerance, but it’s not necessarily something your doctor or pharmacist mentioned to you or that was highlighted as a warning on the prescription packaging.

    7. I bet they underestimated the effects of dry heat and how not-shaded Arizona can be.

      That said, I wish there were some sort of guidelines about how long to be out in the sun at different temperatures and such.

      1. It’s really hard to generalize – people’s bodies react to heat differently (age & acclimation) particularly; many but certainly not all heat issues are really dehydration or hyponatremia; clothing & local conditions matter a lot (shade = good; canyons = bad).

        But if I could staple one reminder to every hot trailhead it’s: you are 99.99% always better off drinking dirty water from the steam than being dehydrated. If someone in your party is in trouble, stay. at. the. water. Have them lay in the creek; drink straight from it; and hike out in the evening.

        2. +1. Dehydration and heat stroke set in faster than any gastro issues that might arise from dirty water. Survive until you can get rescued, and then deal with the giardia.

        3. I agree with your comments about it depending on health, age, hydration, etc. However, “when conditions exceed 110F, carry and drink at least one quart of water per person per hour and limit time outside to two hours for healthy adults; elderly and children should not be out for more than 30 minutes at a time” would be better than nothing. (Number are for illustration only.)

        4. FYI – Katadyn BeFree Water filter is a really good thing to have in your backpack just in case. Only 2.3 oz. empty. I left it behind on a much longer than expected hike, where I ran out of liquids and got very dehydrated, while surrounded by running water. I will always pack it from now on.

    8. I also wonder this! It’s gotta be so miserable, why would you want to go hiking anyway?

    9. I just walked .65 round trip miles in 81 degree weather here in Berkeley to pick up some sushi for lunch and I think I am nuts. I CANNOT imagine another 20+ degrees on that!

          1. I know – I live here too. I hike in that weather all the time! I’d never live life the way I want to if I stayed indoors for 80 degrees.

    10. I’m so troubled by the ALF actor who died in his car with his dog. They were thinking he took a nap (apparently had some health issue where he wouldn’t sleep for days) and the heat got to him. Both of them dead. Just boggles the mind.

    11. Not a first responder, but a CA Girl Scout troop leader. IME, people routinely underestimate how dangerous it is to hike in hot weather. This is especially common with men and teenage boys, though women aren’t immune to making bad decisions (especially if they grew up in a place with a cooler climate). I also think “dry heat” is tricky for people like me (from sweaty humid MD) because we aren’t as aware of how hot it is when we’re not drenched in sweat.

      I will say that this is a common occurrence at national parks every summer. Just because you can drive in your nice car to a wilderness doesn’t mean the wilderness isn’t dangerous.

  5. I have a question about the DOL rule that requires a minimum salary of $58k and change to be exempt that’s supposed to go into effect on January 1, 2025. Is the consensus that it won’t happen at all if Trump wins? Or will it go into effect on January 1 and then be repealed a few weeks later when Trump takes over? Or will Trump leave it in place? I’m exempt with a ~$50k salary, so this personally affects me.
    (And not expressing support for Trump, to be clear — just trying to understand what will happen if he’s elected, since that seems overwhelmingly likely at this point.)

  6. My bestie is getting divorced. Tonight I’m going to be sending a little care package with snacks, bath bombs etc any recommendations? Unfortunately she lives several hours away and we can’t have a visit until the start of August.

    1. My favorite pampering items are the Inc.redible Prep to Party face mask and the Thirsty brand for hand gloves and feet gloves. You can get them all at CVS, they’re gentle, hydrating, and just all-around excellent for a 20-minute skin refresh.

    2. If you look up divorce candles on Am*zon there is a variety – ranging from supportive to decidedly snarky. It’s definitely a know your audience kind of thing, but someone gave me a snarky divorce candle, a fancy chocolate bar, and a sparkly tiara when I was on the receiving end of a surprise divorce because I caught his cheating ass and he had zero remorse and was visibly excited to move on to his side piece. The note with the gift explained the tiara with a comment that I should hold my head high and be the Queen that I am. It may be worth noting that another soon to be divorced friend received from the same friend a Barbie dressed in an evening gown and a headless Ken. My friend group appreciates on point weirdness, yours may not. If not, perhaps a supportive candle, nice chocolates, and a lovely throw blanket.

      1. I don’t recommend something snarky if there are children involved.

        My friend sent me a congratulations card. It went over the heads of the children.

    3. My friend sent me something similar: bath bombs, face masks, etc. For me, it was knowing that she thought about me, loved and supported me that mattered most. You are a very kind friend! Maybe add something to snuggle with for comfort?

  8. Silly question: what’s a random skill that you’re irrationally proud of, that doesn’t actually have any real value?

    Mine: I’m ridiculously good at hitting the exact character maximum in a tight space. I get so excited when I hit 280/280 characters or 1,250/1,250 characters. I’m not a copywriter, ad writer, etc., so this skill is not part of my day job. But I am irrationally proud of my ability to hit the character counts in a variety of different restrictive spaces.

    Example from a friend: they correctly type their password 99% of the time. This is absurd to me, it always takes me at least two times, but for them? NBD, type it in once and they’re into their computer, account, whatever.

    1. I can insert the USB drive on the first try most of the time. With USB-C this skill is becoming obsolete!

    3. Folding fitted sheets neatly.

      I saw a little blurb in a Martha Stewart magazine 20+ years ago and it just made sense to me, so it’s clicked.

      1. Same. I worked in a laundromat for years in HS and college and folded a lot of them; mine are neat as a pin!

      1. This is mine as well. What’s surprising is that I have short hair and can’t do it on myself. But I love braiding other people’s hair and my niece loves it!

    5. Mine is similar to yours, OP: If you ask me to give a talk and tell me how much time I have, I will end exactly on time. (My motto is “there is nothing you can say after your time has expired that won’t make the audience hate you.”)

      1. Oh, forgot the “no value” part. In that case, I keep a beautifully organized underwear drawer.

    6. I wouldn’t say no value but…
      Re-collapsing things that open like a spring (pool floats, windshield sun screens)
      Loading a bag with heavy souvenirs and staying within 1 lb under the weight limit
      Planning an errand route that is most effective given (1) quality of sidewalks and shade on route, (2) when heavy things are disposed of (returns) vs. acquired (groceries), and (3) distance :)

      1. Ok, all of those are the most valuable and now I need you to be my partner in life!

    7. I can ride my bike with no hands really, really well. I always put them back on for crossing the road (when I’m on an otherwise separated bike path) but I honestly think I could go for miles.

      2. Challenge accepted! Although I am rusty.

        The other week my boyfriend and I helped some young girls parallel park their U-Haul truck on a busy street. He stood behind and waved traffic around, I stood up front and coached her – I basically pantomimed parallel parking and shouted directions to her.

        They were quite grateful.

      3. My husband is a car guy. To the point that he has taken race car lessons for more than one long weekend.

        Son is learning to drive now and husband is amped to teach him. Son said, “Sorry dad, but I’m gonna let Mom teach me parallel parking.”

        1. Haha same in our house! My husband the Car Guy (who has taken Maserati race car lessons in Italy!) freely admits that I am the better parallel parker!

      4. I do not have depth perception due to my eyes not being perfectly aligned – and I can parallel park well!

    10. I’m really, really good at spotting four-leaf clovers. They jump out at me when I look at the ground. My husband didn’t even know they were real until I started pointing them out.

    11. Oh, I can chop the exact amount of butter (in grams) for a recipe without using the guidelines. I also have very good urban navigation skills and can go from “we’re lost” to “oh there’s the cafe to the left of the hotel” in about 30 seconds.

    12. I can pronounce the name of this town! (I do not speak Welsh)

      2. Welsh is the most baffling language to me. Why do none of the letters sound anything like they do in English?!

    13. I can choose the correct size of container for leftovers (no wasted space, no spillover).

    17. I lived in NYC for a decade and used to be able to get into a cab and accurately predict the fare within 50 cents or so, regardless of traffic conditions. I moved out of the city in 2018, so it’s really not useful anymore, but it was very impressive at the time!

      1. Mine is similar. I can pack for two weeks (in mild/warm weather) in a carry-on, without doing any laundry.

        1. Although I would argue this skill is not useless :) I don’t even know how many cumulative hours I’ve saved by not having to wait for checked bags and not having to get to the airport early enough to check a bag, but it’s a lot.

    20. I can open jars that are stuck – I love the look on men’s faces when the stuck jar magically opens when I try.

  10. Does anyone have an elderly family member who is visually impaired? What is their favorite way of listening to podcasts?

    I am trying to help a 94 year old who does have an iPhone, and I bought her an Echo device. Not sure if she has a tablet…. In can be difficult to listen to podcasts on an Echo just using your voice commands because they will not always play them in order you want, and using Echo/Alexa can be buggy. She is not very sophisticated with new technology but does use a smart phone/computer.

    I think I need to find her a well organized, easy to navigate App on her phone (or on a tablet) that can reliably connect to a bluetooth speaker (she is also hearing impaired with hearing aids). I find my Apps clunky for podcasts (with too many Ads), but I use an Android phone. Does iTunes have a very easy to navigate interface for podcasts, and for visually impaired senior? Or is there a different App you recommend we try?

    She is still an actress (!), and I am trying to find podcasts with radioplays, or great storytelling/serials. If you have any favorites, let me know.

    2. I would look into your state’s Talking Book and Braille services, or local library/elder support services. Many of them have help desks styled like the apple “genius bar” that can get folks connected to tech and services for their needs.

    3. I have an elderly friend with sight issues and she gets Siri to play the podcasts I think.

    4. Check out Graphic Audio. They adapt fiction of almost all genres into full cast recordings. Their tagline is “A Movie, In Your Mind.”

  12. LOVE Fluevogs. I have this heel in a different style and it is indeed comfortable given the height.

    At some point I need to start unloading my vast collection of Fluevogs (since 1998!) Any suggestions on how to do that? I need to recoup a bit of money on them. I’m just not looking forward to the hassle.

    1. I feel like the Fluevog website had a place for people interested in reselling their shoes. Been a long time since I looked at the site, though.

    2. I sent items to my local consignment shop when I want to get rid of clothing but don’t want to go through the effort of listing online.

      1. There are several but they’re all hyped about scammers now & I don’t want to get caught up in it. Thats why I mentioned the hassle. I sold a pair on ebay a while ago and then the person didn’t pay me, so I’d already boxed them up and everything & never sent them. Hassle. Another person in the Facebook group really wanted my boots but she wanted me to send them to Canada, which I did, but it was a long line at the post office and customs forms. Maybe I am truly lazy!

    5. Unfortunately used shoes are not where you’re going to recoup your investment unless they’re like, Hermes. Donate and move on.

      1. It’s not really about investment $$ wise. It’s about having them go to a fluevog lover. Goodwill would likely throw them away.

    7. I’d list them for sale on ebay/poshmark/mercari (whichever is the lesser evil for you) and cross post the listing on the FB Fluevog group as well as the Reddit Fluevog group (r/fluevog)

  13. These look really high without looking really…cute, if that makes sense. I’m willing to do a higher heel sometimes but prefer that doing so pay dividends.

  14. I just hit a big career goal and want to do something to celebrate. I have a trip planned for later this year for another milestone, so not a trip.

    I was thinking either a nice piece of fine jewelry or a designer purse but am also thinking about a full bedroom redo…help! Give me permission to spend a decent chunk of money on myself in recognition of years and years of hard work!

        1. +1

          I remember a prior poster who bought the mattress/pillows/linens from her favorite luxury hotel line. Sounded fabulous!

          1. That’s me!! It’s seriously the best. I stay in a Four Seasons every night as a result.

          2. Is the Four Seasons bedding actually like the hotel bedding? We bought a Westin mattress when we moved into our house (10 years ago now) and it’s nothing like the Westin hotel beds. From searching online, this appears to be a very common complaint.

          3. Yeah, the Four Seasons bedding is exactly what’s in their hotels, mattress to sheets, duvets, pillows, etc, it’s a fortune but totally worth it.

    3. Enjoy, you deserve to celebrate yourself!
      I’d vote for a redo of your bedroom – you’ll use it daily for many years and it will likely make a difference in your quality of living!

  15. Reposting for traffic.
    I’m less than a year in role as a company director and really struggling. The team who report to me includes 3 people who also wanted the role I’m in, and have never accepted me in post (I was a peer but had previous experience at a more senior role that they might not value). One other person is passive aggressive but gets the job done and manages their team well; he’s technically weak so I have a question mark about how many of the technical struggles are skills gaps vs actual problems). The remaining 3 are supportive and getting results from their teams which help the company. Of the negative people, 1 is running his team and their directs well, 1 thinks he is but has a very old fashioned (expensive) approach and is resistant to change, and 1 is doing ok but keeps cutting me out of updates. All are experienced managers who are managing their own teams acceptably well. Any advice? I’ve shared this challenge with my CEO, and the plan is to roll out leadership training and competency frameworks which will be used as a way to encourage buy in to corporate values. Any suggestions for what to do and how to improve people’s experience of work, encourage them to step up to the challenge (lots to do this year ) and how to get the best of the people in role? I’ve been offered executive coaching which I’m definitely going to take up. There’s another dynamic which is that one of my current peers often reaches in to my org to get stuff done (bid support etc) and doesn’t tell peoples managers or me what is going on. Is this normal? There’s a lot of mansplaining too but it’s to both men and women (“of course you’ve got a lot to learn, and I’ll support you” when I have tons of experience; “it’s good you have a lot to say, but it’s not your area and I think you need to stick to your own area of expertise with respect” etc). Any advice?

    1. Two things come to mind. 1) I recommend reading “Coaching for Performance.” Among other things, it teaches how to help your team optimize its performance by having you learn a question-based teaching/coaching technique The result is more effective problem-solving. And it works really well with teams like this, where there is a lot of skill set already but maybe some resistance to being told what to do or some barriers in learning (like your person who is afraid of change). It was required reading in one of my leadership training courses years ago, and I have come back to lessons from it all the time. I think you’ll find it helps your “know-it-alls” back down a bit as they start to realize that you are valuing their input and really listening. That’s where motivation magic will start–when they feel like they are having a role in success.

      2) You need some sort of system to get the transparency you are seeking. It’s hard to diagnose what that system should be without knowing the full picture. Is it formal project tracking (uniting around Airtable or Smartsheets or something like that) or the need for more formal communication (daily stand-ups or weekly check-ins where you ask about status or details). If you’re having frequent enough conversations and status updates, you’ll know when people are suddenly being asked to support someone else’s projects and can then address it with the asker (not the doer). That’s a peer-to-peer discussion.

      I also wouldn’t hold my breath on the initiative you referenced relating to mission. Mission is important. But without clear instructions and day-to-day systems of support, tracking, and accountability in place–which sounds like you’re currently lacking, your team isn’t going to thrive. You need to get the foundations in place.

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