ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Frances Lady Jacket in Maritime Tweed

A woman wearing a light brown blazer, white top, and blue jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Something happens in late August where I physically cannot stop adding tweed blazers to my cart. Is it back-to-school season? The promise of cooler temperatures? I can’t say for sure, but I do know that this soft brown jacket is currently hanging out in my J.Crew cart, waiting for me to press “checkout.”

I would wear this with a sheath dress for a beautiful, classic look, or styled with some high-waisted pants for a more modern feel.

The jacket is $298 and comes in sizes 000–24. It also comes in “natural” and “pale seascape.”

Sales of note for 12.5

225 Comments

  1. As a short-waisted pear, the proportions in the photo are what I’m trying to balance out, not magnify.

    2. Yup.

      Most of us on this board are slowly trying to figure out what cuts/lengths/drapes/tailoring works for our figures. We are all different. Which is why finding well made clothes that fit you well is so challenging. What works for one person, doesn’t work for another.

      It took me many years to learn this!

  2. I work from home and work closely with our Europe team, so I start work at 7am. This usually translates to 30 mins – 1 hr of checking email/Slack/responding to fires that happened in the morning in Europe, and then 2 – 3 hrs of meetings. That is expected in my position and they’re all necessary meetings. I do like the dynamic of having all my meetings pretty immediately in the morning. Afterwards when people are offline I do my heads down work.

    Now for my actual question. I find that I can focus well from 7am – 12pm. By 12 I’m hungry for lunch, which makes sense, but I find it really hard to get back to focusing after. No has raised any issues about my performance and I’m very responsive to any requests.

    1) Is 5 hrs of focused work, including meetings more or less than most people do at work?
    2) Do you have recommendations for making the latter half of the day more productive? I’ve taken a short caffeine nap sometimes and that’s helped, especially since I’m really not a morning person.

    1. This is me. I keep a LOT of Trader Joe’s snacks like chili dried Pineapple and other dried fruit by my desk so I can work and graze and keep working until a very early lunch at 11, which often is quick because there are no lines. Then I’m usually OK but it is easy to lose momentum on EST work because others roll off later.

    2. I’d say I do about 5 hours of focused work per day. That seems reasonable to me. And if you WFH and don’t have specific items you need to do in the afternoon, can you just monitor your computer while doing other things at home for yourself? This is my approach and it works for my job.

      2. That would be low for my job and monitoring your computer while you do things for yourself sounds exactly like why some people are ruining work from home for others.

        1. But if no one is unhappy with you, how is it “ruining” work from home for others? Sorry if you’re jealous you can’t do this, but as long as OP is getting stuff done and people are happy with her, I see zero issue.

          1. This. I never work a full 8 hours a day and yet I consistently get excellent reviews, promotions, a retention bonus, etc. – my boss thinks I’m great. Doing laundry or my daily Duolingo or whatever isn’t ruining anything for anyone. I get my work done, do it well, and everyone is happy, so me WFH-ing is actually showing it works just fine. It’s the poor performers who are also doing other things while WFH that are the problem, but they were a problem in the office too! I also did not work a full 8 hours when I was in the office, but I spent time surfing the web instead of being productive both at work AND at home so was far less happy with the over all situation.

          2. Exactly. I work way less than 8 hours per day and always have, whether I’m in the office or not. WFH has allowed me to replace mindless computer games with things that are actually productive or fun.

          3. The people ruining WFH for everyone else are the ones who aren’t getting their work done or who disappear for 3 hours at a time.

        2. I did this at my in-person job before the pandemic too – about 5 to 6 hours of meetings or heavy work, then later in the afternoon tackled the less brain-heavy admin stuff, sometimes took a long lunch to decompress, took a walk around the block, etc. As long as my work got done on deadlines, I got rave reviews and no complaints. Some people took smoke breaks; I don’t smoke, so I took walking breaks instead at work. I see throwing in a load of laundry or loading the dishwasher another sort of active movement break everyone needs, in-person or WFH.

      3. I did 12 hours of focused work some days and maybe 2 hours other days when I worked in the office. It’s the nature of my job, which is sort of project-based, deal-based. It happens. My hours are similar from home, and my clients are happy with what I do.

        No one is “ruining” WFH for anyone.

        The pressure to come back into the office is due to justifying leases and because senior execs (like me) don’t know how to handle a remote workforce, and many aren’t interested in learning how. IMO, they’re dinosaurs, and that style will eventually be extinct.

        2. Also, downtown business districts are hurting and cities have lost sales tax income. Employers are sensitive to appeals from city government and CBD organizations.

    3. That’s low for my career but not unheard of. I don’t try to force productivity in natural lulls – I save admin tasks for low brainpower time. Approving expense requests, sorting through distribution list emails to see if anything is relevant to me, organizing emails or files, going through my pending matters list to see if I need to nudge anyone about a deadline, etc.

      1. Yep, I try to keep anything not urgent in an admin power hour folder and tackle it when I’m tired. Sometimes I’ll relocate to a cafe with decent Wi-Fi, so it feels like a bit of a treat.

        I wonder if some lunchtime exercise might help? Are any of the calls listening calls where you could take a walk?

        1. Admin power hour, I like that concept. I could definitely take a walk on some of these calls. Maybe just the fresh air would help.

    4. What is “heads-down” work for you — is it more mindless admin tasks or stuff that needs concentrated thought and attention?

      If it’s the later, coming back in the afternoon, when you’ve had 5 hours of focus, when it’s after lunch, and when it’s not your natural focus time, is rough. Can you do a protein snack mid-morning, and move your lunch time to 1p? That shortens the last, non-focused part of your day. I get more work done when I’m somewhat hungry than right after I’ve eaten. (Note: “somewhat” hungry, not really low blood sugar and unable to focus because of it.)

      1. This is exactly it. I can do the admin tasks but not the concentrated thought. I feel tired, kinda like I’ve used my brain power for the day. And the afternoon is definitely not my natural focus time.

        I like this protein snack and move lunch time idea. I was thinking of just working from 7am – 2pm and then eating after, but that seemed late. The snack would bridge the gap. I could have lunch 1-1:30 and then just do admin tasks after and finish at ~3:30.

        My boss very graciously saw that I had blocked off 30 minutes for lunch on my calendar and told me to take a 1 hr break, but maybe thats making it worse.

        1. I’ve been in this position before and I’m fried after the block of meetings. It’s tough logging on early, frantically catching up to overseas emails, then jumping into calls. My brain is just done by lunch. It helps to get outside or run a quick errand midday to reset mentally. But if no one’s commented on your performance keep doing what you’re doing.

          1. Exactly – I’m just fried by that combination of an early start, being thrown into emails, and a block of calls. I think admin tasks after a late lunch sounds like a good plan.
            It’s the reassuring that I’m not the only one who feels like this.

        2. IDK, but morning meetings fry my brain. Morning is my natural time of productivity and having the brain power to do focused work. Afternoons are much harder. Sometimes I get a second wind around 3:00 or so, but 1-3 p.m. is not very productive for me. I try to save the less arduous tasks for that time. I have always been this way, so not sure there’s much I can to do improve it. Even on weekends, I have an energy lull in early afternoon.

        3. With a one-hour break, I would go for a walk or a run and then eat lunch. Your boss is telling you to take an hour so that you can decompress and come back fresh; consider taking her up on the offer.

        4. I work with a similar schedule (8-12, 8-1 with EMEA and then a lull in the afternoon). I WFH and often reserve 2-4 for admin. I’ll hit a second wind after 4:30 and will blcock my calendar from 4-6 for writing, or (and this isn’t great but common) will log on again at 7:30/8pm for deep focus work. I’ve stopped fighting the afternoon lull if I don’t have something urgent and acknowledge that ebs and flows are normal in the work day, we’re not robots!

        5. I wonder if you’re an introvert, and whether all that meeting time just takes it out of you? I wouldn’t regard heads-down admin/organizing/collecting your thoughts time as “not working,” it’s just different working.

          I am an extrovert and look forward to those meetings, but I still can’t do them all day long. Today I have three 1 hour meetings back-to-back, and I will definitely need a sizeable lunch break after that. I agree with your boss.

    5. This is how my schedule runs. People I regularly work with have pretty slow afternoons. Quiet desk work, admin tasks, etc.
      I wfh as well and find doing a small chore or going for a walk helps me reset after lunch, but my productivity definitely tanks

      1. Yup same, whether I’m at home or in the office, I’m not very productive after lunch. I’ve been walking to the “far away” salad place when I’m in the office — 40 minutes round trip — and then eating my salad, then making tea and getting back to work. That’s helped squeeze some productivity out of my afternoons, but it’s still only marginally better than the morning.

    6. Since you work from home, can you take an afternoon walk or go for a run during your lunch time? That helps me to reset after a lot of concentration.

    7. This feels reasonable for me especially if you’re making progress on what you need to with those five hours and monitoring what you need to with the rest. I’m early-ish career still but a fully focused 7 to 8 hours is rare and usually reserved for those crisis, everything on fire, 20 things have to be done asap moments. Typical day is probably 4 to 5 hours focused work. The rest is monitoring emails and slack channels while doing other things.

      Maybe think about it like a block schedule for work? If something comes up in the afternoon I’m sure you’re on top of it and ready to jump back in as needed.

      Other thoughts: Do your coworkers or office have a workout culture? I’ll take an hour to eat lunch at or near my computer but also put an afternoon personal meeting on for an hour ‘workout’ to actually workout, do an errand, chores, take a shower, nap etc.

      Podcasts or audio books are a way I chunk out my work on slower days or for repetitive tasks. Work for a podcast episode or audio book chapter, take a break, repeat.

      Is there a personal hobby that you have or are interested in that can be done at home and be dropped when you see or hear a message come in? My bff writes and brainstorms fan fiction during the slow parts of her days. Easy to pick up and drop is key.

      Is there a coworker or coworkers you don’t get to talk to as frequently as you’d like? Maybe a casual catch up or coffee break over video call could be fun. I’d grab coffee with coworkers next to me in the office in the afternoons, just to stretch legs and get a screen break. Is there a way to replace that kind of social, casual interaction? If you have a friend or family that’s also remote and slow in the afternoons, you could do an afternoon catch up with them

      You could do CPEs or other learnings for a job requirement or license if you have one in the afternoons.

      1. How do you work while listening to a podcast or audiobook?!? That might work for physical tasks like folding letters and stuffing envelopes, but I don’t know how you could possibly read, write, work with numbers, etc. while listening to words.

        1. im the anon your replying to…

          doing balance sheet reconciliations every month makes my brain cry with boredom. tieing out numbers is also low engagement for me as well. this is about 50% to 60% of the work i do each month. my brain needs the ‘filler’ input for those kinds of tasks.

          your brain can be understimulated just as much as it can be overstimulated. podcasts and audiobooks help fill that understimulated gap when needed. especially if im working frim home.

          i also speed run through tv shows and books. sure theres probably good dialogue or bits of storytelling im missing. but I dont need to sit through a medicore 10 minute scene of two characters talking to get the jist and move on with the story. like I watched the entire second season of a show in about 2 evenings, and skipped about 50% of each episode. if your characters hate each other and have this big conflict over motivations, and I understand each characters side and why theres tension, do i have to sit through 5 scenes where they have the same basic conflict over and over? nope. im moving on until the story changes in a meanigful way.

          its kind of like study strategies when you have a high volume of text to get through. where you read the intro and concluding paragraphs of a text and the bolded definitions but skip everything inbetween.

          most podcasts and books are fun and entertaining. but lets be real, most of them arnt drop what youre doing and dedicate full attention worthy.

    8. You are describing my schedule to a T, plus adding in the occasional 6am EST meeting to squeeze in some time with Asian colleagues.

      I was feeling a lot of guilt about my lack of productivity after 1pm. Then I remembered that if I was in an office, I would have to calculate for breaks between meetings to allow walking from one conference room to another, a 45 min lunch break with coworkers, chatting with someone for 10 min at the coffee station, … All this together amounts to probably 1.5 h of not being at a desk or in a meeting, leaving about 6.5 – 7 hrs of actual work time on a 40 hr/week schedule. Subtract 4 hrs of meetings, 1 h of urgent emails/chats, and you’re left with 1 to 2 hrs of focus time.
      I tend to do things in the afternoon that don’t depend on others – drafts for slides or emails, database entries, and as “brainless activities” I do mandatory trainings, catch up with industry news etc.

      And sometimes I just finish working after 5 hrs and go for a long walk (monitoring work phone), thinking about some larger topics at work, my workstyle, successes/improvements I want to make, … Basically, prepping for my next 1:1 or performance review with my manager.

    9. Most people THINK they’re working 8/9 hours daily but the focussed work is maybe 5 or 6 hours. And the longer you do a job, the more efficient you get. So I’d say it’s fine.

  3. how dated is the exposed zipper trend on a dress? i have a very timeless black cocktail dress that has that. It isn’t my party but also don’t want to look wildly dated and not current. thoughts?

    1. they seem very 2010 to me. If you have enough time, can you have a tailor replace it with a different zipper? Might be possible.

    2. I differentiate between exposed zipper and dresses that show zipper tape. I think the former is fine, and I still see new dresses being offered that don’t have a covered zipper, but exposed zipper tape was and is a no from me.

    3. The readers on this board seem to absolutely hate exposed zippers. I get that they were “trendy” 10-15 years ago, but I also don’t think they look wildly out of date the way other things from that era (e.g. black and cobalt color blocking) do. Plenty of designers continue to make dresses with exposed zippers, so it’s not like it automatically makes something date to the period it was first trendy. I say go forth and wear it if you like the dress!

      1. I agree with this. I admit I’m not very fashionable but if it still fits and looks good, I’ll wear my dresses with exposed zippers. Most people aren’t going to notice and the only people who would think poorly of you for it, are judgmental women….on this board and who really cares!!

          1. +3 I remember people on here saying “It just invites someone to unzip it!” which seems so ridiculous to me. If that’s true, so do buttons, so do unexposed zippers.

    5. I doubt most people would notice, especially on a black dress with a black zipper.

      1. the objections aren’t pearl-clutching omginappropriate, just personal preference and thinking they look clunky, unattractive, and semi-dated. If you like them, you do you!

      1. Let’s be real, most of us work in fields that are pretty far from au courant. I don’t remember any Vogue editors self-identifying here.

    8. I don’t think they’re dated, I’ve just always thought that they’re hideous. But I think it’s actually probably as much about the feel than the look. All the ones I’ve tried felt cheap and stiff and bulky and I couldn’t stand wearing them. I’m also one of those people who has to tear all the tags out of their clothes and can’t wear anything itchy, though, so if those kinds of things don’t bother you and you like the look, go ahead.

      1. This. I have one exposed zipper dress that I can wear because it’s the zipper that’s exposed, not the tape, AND the inside is lined so I’m not sitting on/leaning back against metal zipper teeth all day. It’s a more expensive dress so it’s obvious that it was a design choice not a ‘lets save money and not properly finish the dress’ decision.

    9. My frustration about the Exposed Zipper Debate is this: I have some older dresses from Boden that have the exposed zipper but are otherwise great. Boden, instead of opting for a concealed zipper in its newer versions, has made its new ponte dresses with no zippers whatsoever. They’re all shift dresses and swing dresses that you pull on over your head and they really aren’t tailored at all. I understand that the objection that exposed zippers cheapen a nice dress. But when the only new options aren’t nice to begin with and any zipper would be an upgrade because it would facilitate increased tailoring, why should I stop wearing dresses that I can’t replace?

    10. I think black dress with an exposed black zipper is VERY different from a black dress with an exposed silver or gold zipper. I wouldn’t wear the latter as it reads tacky to me, but that’s just personal preference.

    11. I don’t love the exposed metallic zipper look, and I only ever owned things with this feature because it was nearly unavoidable for a time, so in that sense, it feels dated to me.

      But if I otherwise looked great in the dress, I would feel confident that I could rely on shoes / bag / hair / makeup to avoid giving a general impression of being out of date? I’m relatively comfortable with wearing something out of style if it flatters me personally though.

    12. I had a very expensive dress (Escada) with an exposed zipper in 1996. I remember because I changed jobs and wore it a lot at my first year in the new job. I don’t think it was a one-time thing necessarily, just something that trends in and out. My dress was black scuba material (but not scuba tight!) with a black exposed zipper. I thought I was hot stuff in that dress!

    13. If you are talking about an exposed metal zipper with large teeth, extremely dated. I always suspected that the “trend” was cooked up by manufacturers to make the dresses go out of style more quickly so people would have to buy more dresses. It never really looked “in” to my eye, either–just cheap.

    14. Doesn’t matter whether it’s dated or not. The question is whether you like the look.

      I don’t. So I wouldn’t wear it even if it was on trend.

  4. I want to get a Messi Inter Miami jersey for my nephew for Xmas, but the men’s sizes are $120 which is above my budget. Is there any chance they will go on sale between now and Xmas?

    1. No. The team will ride this wave as long as possible to maximize revenues. IF, however, there is a change in one of the kit sponsors, you may see a sale in order to run through the inventory that doesn’t include that sponsor.

  5. What short-sleeve or sleeveless shirt would you wear under a cashmere tee/short-sleeve sweater? More for the slight itchiness of the cashmere but also to help with sweat stains and be able to wash less.

    3. Not really what you asked, but I’ve resolved a lot of my sweat stains by using Certain Dri at night about once a week or sometimes every few weeks. I was stress sweating a lot, and it was taking a toll on my clothes (stains, more washing, more dry cleaning, smelling even after cleaning, etc.). The Certain Dri stops the sweating for days after I use it and stops the root of the problem. For undershirts just for more coverage/itchiness, I only use camisoles/tanks and the ones that I’ve found that work the best under sweaters/work blouses are from Coldwater Creek, of all places.

    4. I like the layering tanks and camis from Loft and JCF. They are nothing fancy but I wear them constantly under sweaters and other tops that I want to protect.

    5. Another deodorant suggestion: I switched to men’s deodorant and just the normal stuff is the same strength active ingredient as the clinical strength ones for women.

    6. I have very cheap bodysuits from Amazon that I wear under sweaters in the fall and winter.

    8. I wear my cashmere when it’s cold, so I wear an insulating layer like the ones from 32 degrees. The v neck long sleeve is my jam but they sell sleeveless too.

    10. An ‘undershirt’ type shirt that is completely hidden.
      As an aside, for sweat stains there are dress shields. I haven’t bought any, though, so can’t say which are best. They have both disposable and reusable options.

    11. I like the Muji cotton undershirt t-shirts. I rarely have to wash or dry clean my sweaters because I always wear these.

  6. Thank you to everyone who chimed in on my housing question yesterday! Many of the guesses were correct – we are in our late 20s, but I haven’t been in a serious relationship since college so I was feeling like we were moving kinda fast. Glad to hear that is not the case, and I appreciate everyone’s input. Will definitely be getting a cohabitation agreement!

  7. Any tips or success stories on being hired via USAJobs? I know to make sure all work experience in the job posting is reflected in my resume and to use the exact same terms as used in the job posting. My resumes and cover letters are tailored to each position and I make sure to include everything (resume is 4ish pages).

    I’ve heard of people using chatgpt to confirm they’ve included the right information but I’m not sure how to do that.

    1. What kind of position? It varies a lot. I have gotten hired for an attorney position with a standard one-page resume.

        1. Are you a veteran? If not, IME, it will just be near impossible to get hired at DHS unless it is an exempt job that does not have to follow veteran preference requirements (such as attorney jobs). Everyone I know who has worked at DHS is a veteran

          Even if your resume and cover letter are amazing, it is u likely you will be selected for an interview once HR factors in the veterans preference

          1. I work for a different agency but work closely with DHS, I know a lot of people who work there who aren’t veterans so don’t lose hope. In fact, despite working in homeland security I know shockingly few veterans in the field.

    2. I think the ChatGPT hack is just to give it the job description and say “please write me a cover letter based on this.”

      Full disclosure, I have done that and I didn’t love the results.

      1. I have heard of people doing it as a way to ensure they’ve worded things correctly on their resume for USAJobs to ensure the experience matches / uses the same terminology.

    3. First, I would edit out identifying information if you share your cover letter with ChatGPT or Bing chat.

      I prefer Bing chat for this kind of thing, I guess because its default mode seems a little more sophisticated, individualized, and frank, vs. ChatGPT which can be kind of careful or diplomatic.

      And at least for Bing, I think it helps to be as conversational as possible since that is how it was trained. So I would just ask it any question you’d ask a human (even though it’s definitely not a human). Different sessions can go different directions, so if your approach doesn’t work, you can always start over. You can ask Bing chat to be a writing coach, a career counselor, an editor, or even the hiring committee, and get feedback on what you’ve written. You can ask it to compare the job ad with your cover letter. You can ask it to look for opportunities for improvement and just see what it comes up with. You can ask it what questions it still has for you after reading your cover letter. Think of it as a form of brainstorming.

  8. just out of curiosity does anyone here watch “destruction videos” on youtube? i know it’s a thing — there are so many!! — but I’m trying to understand if there’s a group of “normal” functioning people who do this. especially object destructions like iphones and more. (someone I love is obsessed with them.)

    2. I am not sure if this is quite the same thing (I don’t use YoyTube), but pre CV19 lockdown, a smash room opened up by me. You could go and take a baseball bat to TVs and such. I REALLY wanted to go, but they closed with the lockdowns and never reopened. Yesterday was a perfect example of when I would have liked the opp to smash the $hit out of something. Hormones + inefficient projects at work out of my control + tired = ragey.

    3. There are lots of “unique” video categories on Youtube and Tik Tok. I would say it is just another category of “oddities” like the pimple popping videos, the videos grinding stuff up in a mortar, ASMR cleaning, the seemingly large amount of rug power washing videos, etc. Even normal people watch strange things on the internet.

      1. OMG I love rug washing videos. I follow a company on instagram and they named one of their cleaning machines Dirt Reynolds.

        1. So pleased I’m not the only one mesmerized by rug washing videos.

          I also like the videos of babies getting glasses and being able to see properly for the first time. As a person with crummy vision, I can identify with their delight at being able to see. It warms my cold cold heart.

          Videos of babies trying food for the first time are fun, too. There’s one where a baby tastes ice cream for the first time and the kid lunges forward and grabs the ice cream with both hands. It’s hilarious.

          1. oh that one was just fed to me on Reels too. The look of utter delight on the kid’s face!

            The Algorithm feeds me car detailing videos which are similar in target marketing to the rug cleaning ones I suspect :)

          2. I’ve been seeing the baby / ice cream video for years now, and I watch it completely every time. I am equally delighted with the baby’s expression every time.

    4. Oh totally.
      I go through phases where I am watching drain cleaning videos (ewwww), car detailing (so gross!), soap shaving (so wasteful IMO), pimple popping, and all things restoration which often includes deconstruction (carpet, clothes, shoes, furniture, paintings, you name it).
      I would consider myself a fully functioning adult, with healthy relationships to my spouse, child, family and friends.

      1. +1 I’m at the top of my field, fully functioning adult in all aspects of life and my guiltily pleasure is ear wax removal videos and babies eating lemons for the first time.

    6. Also, I want to (cheekily?) point out that some of the guys that do these videos are pretty attractive.
      I’m happily married, but there’s something specil about a man devoting time and attention to meticulously bring something in order with his hands, and narrating over it in a deep and soothing voice.

    7. No destruction but I subscribe to an ASMR channel where the lady organizes the nail polish aisle at Walmart, where she does not work.

      1. +1 to ASMR
        I’m pretty normal/high functioning by all accounts and a high performer at work, and I have been listening to ASMR-type things before it was even a thing (circa 2006). It’s wild to see how mainstream it’s becoming when I used to think I was such a big weirdo for wanting to listen to someone whisper.

  9. I have a fairly new relationship with an extremely indecisive client. The client is in a negotiations stalemate with one of its biggest suppliers – money and timing are the main issues. I have negotiated similar deals for other clients but never this scale of indecision. After a couple weeks, I brought in a lawyer who has a national practice specializing in these deals. Specialist also seems at a loss for how to get the client to decide. Yesterday, the specialist mentioned in passing to me that the client could eventually try to blame us, the lawyers, for a deal not getting done. And then in the next breath said, but we can’t and won’t make decisions for them so we are stuck where we are. Now I’m paranoid about malpractice. Am I not fighting hard enough? Pushing the client enough to make a decision?

    1. Have you spelled out the options to the client in economic terms? “Client, each day with this stalemate is costing you $X with the supplier and $Y in legal fees. If you agree to A terms, then $B; if C terms, then $D. Would you like to take these terms back to your board/management? How about we say you’ll get back to us on Date with their views?”

    2. My attitude is that I can advise and encourage my clients, but I accept that I cannot force them to act in their own best interests. CYA emails are important, after every phone call if possible. “Thanks for talking with me this afternoon. As we discussed, your options are X Y and Z. Ideally, we will have the counteroffer to Supplier by this Wednesday for Reasons. Let me know what you decide. If you want to discuss again, just let me know.” If the client doesn’t decide for two more weeks and suffers major financial consequences, you have your advice in writing if the client decides it is actually your fault.

    3. This is when I draft an email that lays it out. “We cannot proceed with out a decision from you on XYZ. Additional delay may result in the other party no longer being involved in the deal.” Like lay it out in writing. It is your evidence.

    4. Have you offered them context that may help them make the decision – such as, last year your terms of this deal were X, or in a deal with a similar supplier, you decided on Y. Do you have an opinion on which deal terms they should accept, and if so can you give the client that recommendation, with your reasoning for why you think it’s the right call? Some clients expect lawyers to be business as well as legal advisors.

    5. Lawyer here (litigator, also need clients to decide). Agree you need to put everything in CYA emails. Some clients just have the most convoluted internal “process” to make any decision, no matter how seemingly inconsequential or obvious the choice is.
      What I find helps is an email with clear options in numbered paragraphs (Option 1, Option 2, etc.) and the pros/cons/costs/benefits of each. If you recommend one option over the others, state that and why. If all options are equal, state that (though that may be leading to the paralysis). And clearly lay out the costs/risks of not deciding within X amount of time.
      Some clients will punt things back to you to avoid making a decision (we have questions, we need XYZ follow up information). Of course always have a call when useful but also put the information in an email back to them. You may even need to do several iterations of a summary email with all options and all follow up information added to the summary. And agree with the advice to send an email summarizing every call and next steps.
      They still may not decide, but they won’t be able to (realistically) blame you if the deal doesn’t get done.
      Also, needless to say, save all of your emails. I usually copy myself on emails to clients so I don’t have to search for things in sent mail.

    6. The CYA emails are important, as everyone stated above.

      You can also try asking them what is causing the indecision – is this an internal process? I can explain to your internal team the costs involved in the delays. Are you hoping I, the attorney, will make the decision for you? That’s not my place. Are you worried about the ramifications? Let’s talk about pain points in this deal.

      One thing that I always tell indecisive people is that indecision IS a decision; it’s just the one that often gets you bad results and very little of what you want.

    7. Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone. I will send more clear, detailed follow up emails. You have given me great ideas to better frame their decision points. I’m taking this to heart!

  10. I love my annuals in the garden and containers during the summer, but I don’t really have a lot of houseplants. (We do have 2 orchids and 2 christmas cacti because people keep giving them to us.) Where should I start? Love color and flower. Have one sunnyish room but not greenhouse level.

    2. I have a ficus, a lemon tree and a gardenia tree. The lemon and gardenia summer on the patio but spend Oct-April indoors because I’m in Massachusetts.

      I also have a spider plant and an amaryllis on the windowsill year round. In winder I have paper whites. In the spring I have cut flowers from outside.

      I have my eye on an olive tree but my indoor forest is getting a little crowded.

      1. oh, I like the idea of indoor trees – i’m also trying to decide whether to “upgrade” our fake indoor trees. i spent a lot of money on them though, ha (and most are in dark corners).

    3. Pothos, Philodendron, and ZZ Plants are low maintenance housplants if you want to start with something non flowering but easy. I don’t have Peace Lilies or African violets but they are supposedly easy to care for flowering plants (Lilies are toxic – so are ZZ plants to pets, if you have any pets or small children be sure to research any plant before bringing it home!)

      Pothos and Philodendron are easy to propagate in a cup of water so you can pretty quickly have more plants than you know what to do with. There’s varieties of smaller sunflowers that I’ve successfully grown in windowsill pots (from those target dollar spot seed pot things actually!) Maybe Jasmine (my garden center had 4 inch pots of Jasmine I regret not jumping on), begonias, or geraniums?

    4. Peace lilies are easy and flower but mine keep getting bigger and bigger and overtaking everything. African violets are actually pretty easy flowering houseplants but they have a few quirks so read up on them a little before you go in. Geraniums are also good indoors and out — I bring mine inside for the winter and put them out on my balcony in the summer. My fiddle leaf fig is doing surprisingly well in a room that I wouldn’t consider that sunny (it also goes out on the balcony in summer).

    5. I love houseplants! I currently have two pothos vines (stupidly easy to take care of—water when they look droopy and they are not picky about light), a diffenbachia, and two snake plants.

      The easiest thing to do, in my opinion, is to buy a plant that you like the looks of and go from there. I’ve gotten mine from Home Depot or Trader Joe’s for $20 or less.

      1. I love love love pothos. They are easy to care for and also very easy to propagate. I have … nine in my small apartment lol.

        1. I’ve killed so many that I’ve given up on them; what am I doing wrong! (I have a black thumb though.)

          1. Most likely overwatering – I use the app Planta to help me remember when to water. Something I learned this year is that overwatering is frequency of watering. Each time you water, you want water to come out of the drainage holes

          2. Agree that overwatering is a killer. Also try moving them around in your house – mine do best in bright but indirect light.

          3. Thanks. The app might make a big difference for me! I don’t have much light, but apparently had enough to kill some cat palms that were too close to a window. So I’ll experiment some more.

  11. Do you shop from Temu? I haven’t yet…is it as problematic as fast fashion like Shein? Or is it more like Amazon? I don’t want to support poor labor practices.

    2. I’d say more problematic than both? But honestly I’ve never shopped there. I just figured with the prices so low it’s both terrible quality and made by 6 year old hands.

      1. A friend kept telling me how much she loves it but everything she shows me proudly that she got from there looks terrible quality.

      2. add to that the fact that they avoid import duties through a loophole that Congress hasn’t closed yet.

      1. Right? Like even my 8 year old can understand why we only buy something from Amazon if I can’t get something similar literally anywhere else. Jeff Bezos is so awful. I can’t imagine giving him more money on purpose.

    4. I got a few things from them like a water bottle but I wouldn’t buy from them again just bc of ethical concerns.

      1. This is grammatically embarrassing – I started out typing it was the worst of both worlds (meaning Shein and Amazon).

        1. Agree. They also are just burning through suppliers; they make them sell at unprofitable levels. Basically weeding out for only the worst of the worst.

    6. No, but the ads I get from them are completely bonkers, like mouse traps showing a photo of a dead mouse in the trap or shoes for hamsters. I got one for a one-person inflatable hot tub that looked like a torture device and wig for a cat. I wish I were making this up. I do take screenshots and send them to my husband, so I guess it’s not all bad.

  12. This is pretty random but does anyone have any ideas of places I could check to find some cute clothes in a maroon color? I found a maroon romper from Instagram but it was sold out and I have checked the usual places like JCF already with no luck…

    1. that was a big color in the nordstrom anniversary sale, probably still some pieces left.

    2. Not helpful if you’re looking to shop online, but I guarantee stores in Starkville, MS; Tuscaloosa, AL; College Station, TX; Columbia, SC; and Blacksburg, VA have lots of options 🙃

      2. You also could try online boutiques that cater to female college football fans. I follow an SEC team on social media and see a lot of ads featuring regular clothes in my college’s colors that are clearly targeting young women (not me) attending games in person.

  13. Does anyone have itchy, flaky earlobes? My dermatologist said it’s just dry skin but it annoys the crap out of me. It seems like moisturizing them just makes the skin easier to scrape off. halp!

    2. That sounds like an allergic reaction, maybe to your shampoo or conditioner? I would try switching them out temporarily to one of those sulfate free brands and see if it helps.

    5. OP here – I actually only use Curly Girl-approved shampoos and conditioners (definitely sulfate free), and I rotate through about 8 different brands… so definitely not the shampoo. I do need to track if they get better or worse with earrings because I only wear them about 35% of the time.

    6. This happens to me when I wear anything other than sterling silver or 14K gold earrings.
      I’d go to the doctor and get another opinion, honestly.

    7. This is how my bad nickel allergy first started. See if cortizone cream helps. Also, just a heads up, sometimes it can take a week or more for a skin contact allergy to flare. I can wear jeans and not have any issue until a week or so later, when my skin suddenly starts to blister and itch where the rivet has been. If it is a nickel allergy, be aware that it can get a lot worse over time. I went from only wearing cheap earrings every once in a while to now not being able to tolerate zippers on sweatshirts and jackets and wearing pull-on jeans. I wish someone had warned me.

  14. My brother is graduating with his PhD and going to work (remotely) for a biotech company. Any gift recs would be appreciated! He has 3 little kids, a wife in med school, and doesn’t live close to me.

      1. Looking for something a little more special :) we do send them food delivery cards for smaller milestones!

    2. Visit, take care of the kids for the weekend, and let brother and wife take a weekend at a B&B to celebrate. Or just take care of the kids so they can go out to a celebratory dinner that you can pay for.

    3. A BR gift card to update his professional wardrobe

      A watch

      Zingerman’s makes a Congrats! gift box that the whole family can enjoy

    4. Lol. A résumé updating service. Biotech staffing is getting decimated.

      -in the industry, feeling dark about its prospects

    5. Is there a place near him that is the preferred frame shop for his school? I would look into a gift card there so he can get his new diploma framed. It would mark the occasion nicely and be a nice gesture since custom framing isn’t cheap!

      1. Actually, this is a nice idea. Most PhD types will not bother, and most people never frame their degrees. His workmates will not hang them in their offices (just not done in biotech typically). But if you know he might be the type that would appreciate it, and might have a home office where it could go, that is a nice gift.

        Because it is not cheap, which is a reason why I have never done it!

        1. Or if there’s a ready-made frame for his diploma, you could buy that. I have no idea what a PhD diploma looks like, but some of the major schools have those frames with the mats with the school name in gold lettering.

    6. If he’s working remotely, upgrades for a home office?

      Nice backdrop for zooms — framed map or B&W photo of somewhere/something meaningful, better bookcase, nice faux plant, textile, art?
      Really good noise cancelling headphones
      A durable but good looking rug
      Really anything that signals “I’m no longer an impecunious grad student, I’m a working professional!”

  15. Does anyone else have food ordering anxiety at restaurants? I’m a bit of a picky eater, so I like to look at the menu beforehand and avoid as much anxiety as possible. I have a first date coming up and the guy wants to go to an Indian place. I’ve never had Indian but I’m willing to try. Help me choose something vegetarian that isn’t spicy? Preferably a rice & veggies dish. I’ll post the menu. Thanks for humoring me on this annoying anxiety I have.

      1. OMG my office is two blocks from there and I have never been there. IMO Indian restaurants have delicious rice. And Naaan. Eat all the naan if it is good.

    2. Not spicy as in not a lot of heat or not a lot of aromatic spices? Biryani and Dal Makhani can be made pretty tame in terms of heat spicy.

    3. Indian food is delicious and great for vegetarians. The dishes are usually big enough to share. Samosas are a great appetizer, they’re like fried dumplings with a dipping sauce. If you don’t want a curry, then get the veg biryani which is a rice dish.

    4. Hi – American-born Indian. Many Indians are vegetarian – so tons of options here. The fact that this place is called “exotica” and has food from different regions makes me think it’s less authentic which may be a good thing if you’re nervous – it’s probably more tailored to standard American tastes/folks trying this cuisine.

      – Dosa is a great veg option – it’s a rice/lentil pancake, vegetarian, and comes with rasam (lentil soup) and chutney to dip.
      – For a rice/veg dish – go for any of the dals (lentils); dal makhani at restaurants is always one of my faves, if you like chickpeas, go for the chole. They usually serve this with rice, but it’s delicious with naan.
      – Paneer is basically a cheese with the consistency of halloumi – it’s delicious and rich but if you’re not familiar, maybe something to try another time when you feel more comfortable exploring.

      And yes, naan is great and safe but please do not call it “naan bread” for this ‘rettes sake :)
      Same with “chai tea”

    5. Saag paneer – kind of like the best creamed spinach you’ve ever had with chunks of cheese in it.

      Aloo gobi – cauliflower and potatoes in a light sauce that isn’t very hot. You can get vegetarian samosas, too, which are generally potatoes and sometimes peas wrapped in dough. Sometimes they are a little hot, but not always.

      The great thing about Indian food is that the veggie options are awesome. I’m an omnivore but always stick to the vegetable options at Indian restaurants. And I ask if the food is terribly spicy – I know Indian people who prefer their food to not burn their tastebuds off, so I think there’s no shame in indicating you’d prefer more mild dishes.

      And now I am seriously considering getting Indian take out for dinner!

    7. Share an order of pakoras and the veg biryani and enjoy the makai palak paneer. Try a little of the chutneys.

    8. Paneer Tikka Dosa! I’m also a picky, spice averse vegetarian.

      Ask for mild spice, regardless of what you order.

    9. If you’ve never had indian before, I’d get either a vegetable biryani or the tikka paneer kebabs at that place. These are the veggie items, apart from appetizers, that are going to not be “wet” and therefore I think easier for a picky eater. The biryani is going to kind of be like indian fried rice and the paneer kebabs will be like a shish kebab with grilled chunks of cheese and veggies on it, it may come with rice on the side or you can order some. Naan will be yummy bread. If you like it, indian is great for vegetarians and you can branch out in the future but I think on a first date, it’s easier to just get something safe.

    10. As a longtime vegetarian, I definitely get the anxiety because lots of places don’t have much I want to eat, but Indian is pretty much always the best option, with lots of things I like instead of just one or two choices. If you want rice and veggies, I’d go with the Exotica Veg Biryani.

    11. Typically, Indian food is eaten communally. The table orders several dishes, and you take a small portion of the ones you want to try. This is great for you. You put a little bit of rice on your plate (safe, non-spicey) and tear off a piece of the Naan (bread that is used as a starchy balance/thing to dip in the flavorful sauces), and then put a small bit of each dish on your plate to try. Adding a little bit of the raita/yogurt side sauce will help cool anything down in your mouth, if it feels a little too spicey. If you find a dish you really like, then you go back and try more! Just perfect…

      This is a great opportunity to say to your date….. “This is my first time having Indian food, and I’m not used to spicey foods, so I probably need to have “mild” things to try for my first time. What would you recommend?” A person who really likes Indian food should be very thoughtful and easily pick some mild, easy to like things to try. To be honest, if they didn’t, that would be a black mark against them in my book! I would also tell the waiter that this is your first time, and that you are “excited… but nervous!” to try classic vegetarian Indian dishes, and would need something mild. And ask them – “what is the best dish for me?!?” Often the waiters understand completely and recommend easy popular mild dishes for first timers.

      Of course if there are vegetables/pulses that you love, tell your date and you may really like the Indian “version”. For example… eggplant, chickpeas, lentils, potatoes, spinach, peas, cauliflower etc…. And you must try the appetizer samosa, if you have never had it before. It is very common to order this and share, as a starter.

      And remember – if anything is spicey for you, add a touch of the yogurt condiment to quickly cool it down. Just a touch! Or order a mango lassi to drink, that will do a similar thing.

      I vividly remember my first experience eating Indian food. It was a revelation.

      2. This is good advice. A lot of Indian places can also prepare dishes to be milder or more spicy. They want you to be happy with it, so they will tone down the spiciness if you ask!

    12. Not rice and veggies but I love samosas, and this version looks like it will be mild but ask about the sauce.

    13. I’d get basmati rice, a side of raita (yogurt sauce), and some naan. Nothing spicy about that.

      You don’t know about the curries. Sometimes not spicy is super bland. Sometimes not spicy is the Indian version of not spicy, which is not the same as white people not spicy.

          1. True, but given that it is a date, I think she should try to order something that looks like a meal.

          2. That would be crazy to order at an Indian restaurant. It would be like to an italian restaurant and ording plain pasta and bread.

      2. Honestly, if I was on a first date with someone and they ordered that, it would find it extremely odd. I would have preferred the person tell me that they don’t like Indian food, and then I could have had the chance to go somewhere else.

        OP – if you are this picky, you should suggest a different restaurant IMO.

    14. Before ordering the biryani, I’d ask whether it contains saffron. Saffron has a very particular flavor that you may not like. I am by no means a “picky eater” and still cannot stand it.

      1. Sort of embarrassing to ask whether an Indian restaurant uses saffron, it’s such an essential ingredient in the cuisine. I’d just not order the biryani rather than asking.

        1. It’s not in everything, though. There are plenty of dishes without it, even some biryanis.

          1. What an odd suggestion. Of all Indian spices, saffron is one of the least distinctive and mild. In fact it is mild and used more for color, as other Indian spices often overpower it.

            OP – stick with the suggestions of the post about communal dining / sharing dishes. The rice/bread are the base, qnd you layer some of the main dishes on top, a little at a time. Then have more of the ones you like.

    15. Try saag paneer, not spicy (though I personally disagree with this). It will likely come with rice but you can order it if not an put it under the dish. Also raita is yogurt with veg and naan and poppadums are great.

    16. I would really encourage you to try new things. Ease in navigating food and restaurants really does open opportunities. The more you try things, the more the anxiety will dissipate. I get the loop, but I think the benefits of breaking it are greater than you know.

    17. +1 to the suggestion of ordering take out own your on to try different things that fit within your requirements. My partner has several dietary restrictions and we like using the Happy Cow app and researching Google Reviews with specific info like “diary free” the dish he plans to order, “spice / spicy”

  16. Does anyone have a recommendation for a divorce attorney for a potentially messy divorce in NYC?

    1. Agreed – saw butterfly hair clips at TJ Maxx last week and nearly feel over from shock.

      1. This must be how our parents felt when we were singing all the 60s songs at school chorus days. (“Blowin’ in the Wind,” “Abraham, Martin, and John,” “Bridge over Troubled Water” —Just my school? Every concert had a theme.)

        1. OMG, you have unlocked a core memory of singing Blowin’ in the Wind during my choir days, lol.

        2. And now my daughter’s show choir is doing a medley of 80s songs including Material Girl and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

    3. I’ve been talking to my kids about Hammer Pants their whole lives. I don’t think they believed me. Then my daughter came home from college wearing flowy, dropped crotch pants and I said “HAMMER PANTS!” So this has been sneaking up on us for a while.

      (I do have an adorable video of my then-toddler son dancing to a youtube video of U Can’t Touch This that I made everyone watch)

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