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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 137 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Seam-Pocket Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I look terrible in beige, which is why I'm always amazed at how much mileage I've gotten out of beige jackets that I've bought (usually on deep discount, such as this one) to keep at the office. I've worn them with brown, and they almost always go great with hard-to-match colors in summery blouses or dresses. This one (part of The Limited's sale) was $138, but is now marked to $29.99. (The dark charcoal version is also on sale for $54.99, and there are matching beige pants (in more sizes than there were the other day, I think) for $24.99.) Seam-Pocket Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. London

    What part of London would you stay in for 3-4 nights if you are a tourist who has never visited the city before and who really wants to have a very touristy experience and be close to the best museums, restaurants, etc.?

    • found a peanut

      As close as possible to Trafalgar Square. But London is a very small, very walkable city – you can probably walk from one end of zone 1 London to the other in half an hour. You should buy the A-Z, navigating London streets is really difficult.

      • Pam

        Very walkable, plus the subway system is amazing. You can take the tube to get within a block or two of anywhere you need.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        I agree that Central London is very walkable, but I absolutely disagree that it is ‘small’! In comparison to NYC for example, it takes a lot longer to get from A to B by public transports (no express trains).

        Usually you are better of walking – you will get there quicker! Enjoy!

      • caesia

        Or make sure your smart phone is connected so you can use google maps. Much easier than navigating off a paper map.

    • anon now

      Side note: make sure you get a subway/tube card, I think they are called “Oyster”. Otherwise, the tube is heinously expensive.

      • MeliaraofTlanth

        There’s also the equivalent of a new york unlimited subway/rail card. I’m blanking on the name. They only sell I think 1 day and 1 week, but no 3-days. BUT we got the 1 week when we were only there for 3 days because if you buy the card at a Rail station (as opposed to a tube station. And yes, even if there is both a rail station and a tube station in the same terminal), you can get 2-for-1 vouchers for a lot of tourist attractions from Days Out (here’s the link: http://www.daysoutguide.co.uk/2for1london). You have to print the voucher before hand (they are also in little booklets at the train stations, but sometimes they’re out). We used it on just 2 attractions (Or maybe 3?), the Tower of London and the Churchill War Rooms (which, by the way, I highly recommend), and it saved enough money on ticket costs to be worth the extra cost of buying the 1 week unlimited rail card as opposed to just putting money on an oyster card.

        • Woods-comma-Elle

          It’s called a Travelcard. Def get one if you are there for longer than a few days as it’s cheaper in the long run than the Oyster (although you can get the Travelcard put on the Oyster, which is like a SmarTrip in DC, you just scan it to go through the turnstiles)

        • London

          Can you explain how this works? I just went to the daysout website and that sounds like a great deal! So I would have to purchase a 1-week rail pass and then I could use the 2 for 1 deals? How much is the rail pass? I looked at the National Rail website but I’m not sure I’m finding the right information. Thanks!

          • MeliaraofTlanth

            Go to the FAQ on the Daysout website–it answers most of the questions, but here’s the brief explanation: You go to a national rail station (a lot of the large tube stations also have a national rail station connected; we got ours at the stop the Heathrow train takes you to) and buy a travelcard. London sets their subway fares by zones. If you’re just doing touristy things, you probably only needs zones 1 and 2–I think that’s what we got. So buy a 7-day travelcard for zones 1 and 2, which was like $30, I think. Before you go, decide what attractions you want to use it for on the daysout website and print off the vouchers (if they have the booklets, pick one up in case you decide there’s something else you want to see you didn’t print a voucher for). When you go to the attraction, you present the railcard and the voucher and voila, 2-for-1 tickets! It requires some planning to make sure it’s worth it–I had specifically set out our itinerary and knew exactly what attractions we were going to, how we were getting there, and that we would never need to travel outside the zones on our travelcard, so I could figure out the exact costs and whether it was worth it. (I still have the itinerary I made if you want an already-put-together 3 or 4 day itinerary that you can modify)

            Also, you can put a travelcard on the oystercard, but then you can’t use the 2-for-1 deals. You have to have an actual paper national rail ticket, with the little track symbols, for the 2-for-1 deals.

            Oh, as for places to stay, we actually stayed in the LSE dorms next to Trafalgar square. They rent them out over the summer and I think christmas and other school breaks. I mean, it was a dorm, so not super luxurious, but it was a great deal in terms of price and location.

    • MJ

      I lived in London for a few years. There are some great articles on Budget Traveler (Frommers) regarding cute B&Bs in London.

      I would not say Trafalgar Square…it’s so touristy that I don’t find it London-y. A lot of other neighborhoods are both convenient and more pretty. There are a lot of hotels along Hyde Park (Tubes–Marble Arch, Bayswater) and Marylebone that are cute. I would also look into Bloomsbury, Islington and Pimlico–all have a lot of B&Bs and beautiful brick or row mansion houses. Just make sure you’re in Zone 1 or very close.

      Second the OysterCard. I don’t believe the Travelcard is available anymore–it wasn’t when I was last in London about a year ago, to my chagrin. That was my Saturday go-to.

      My favorite museums are Sir John Soane’s House and the Cabinet War Rooms. Do not miss the Tower of London. Very touristy, but Tower Bridge (right nearby) and the Crown Jewels (on display inside of the castle) are really awesome. Also love the Tate and Tate Modern (you can go on a short ride on a boat between them, on the Thames, which is super-fun). Good day trips are Oxford/Cambridge (pick one) and also Stonehenge/Canterbury.

      Enjoy!

      • MeliaraofTlanth

        Travelcard is definitely still available-I was there in July. They just got rid of the 3-day option (as did New York. It’s like the major tourist cities of the world got together and decided no one was making money on 3 day unlimiteds), so it’s only useful if you’re there a week or using the 2-for-1 deals.

      • MeliaraofTlanth

        oh, other tip that was the absolute best advice I got from the travel guide I got: whatever day you’re going to the Tower of London (and you should), go right when it opens. Then go straight to the crown jewels first thing, and double back after that and see everything else. There was no line when we went in, and an hour later, it was out the door (and it’s like disneyland–rooms and rooms of just queues). That tip seriously saved us at least an hour or two.

    • TCFKAG

      When we were there, we stayed at the Millenium Bailey right across the street from the Gloucester Underground station and it was very nice and very convenient (and there were some great restaurants and cafes right there).

      And though I know its super touristy and lame, we signed up for the hop-on-hop-off red bus tour and it was a great way to see a large swathe of the city and get a sense of how things fit together on your first day. After that, I’d just do the Underground.

      • Anonymous

        Yes – do the hop-on-hop-off. It will get you to the places you know you want to go with no hassle, give you the lay of the land, and let you get a feel for what else you want to do later in the trip.

  2. Susan

    I’d stay in Mayfair, like I did with DH on our impromptu long weekend last year.

    Ifyou have the $$ for it, get a hotel overlooking Green Park, which is lovely. All the gorgeous clubs are nearby, great restaurants like the Wolseley (which has excellent food and service, even if you’re not a celeb), plus Fortnum’s is pretty close by and has a most excellent tea service. Easy access to the tube (via the Green Park) stop which can easily take you to some great Museums, like the V&A and that old stalwart, the British Museum.

    • anon

      Fortnum’s is also awesome for shopping around and browsing and buying tea and gifts and etc. Plus the windows are gorgeous. :)

      • Susan

        Digging up some old notes from my London trip– here are some of the restaurants we went to:

        Le Gavroche
        Murano
        The Wolseley
        The Ledbury
        Whits
        TAS – in Bloomsbury (this is a chain of Turkish restaurants, but we ended up at the Bloomsbury one b.c. we had spent the day at the British Museum.)

        • Erin

          St. John. Eat at St. John. Amazing. St. John Bread and Wine near Spitalfields is also really good.

          • JC

            Second on St. John Restaurant. It was delicious! The menu had interesting game and “traditional” English dishes that are not often prepared anymore. Went with DH over the holidays– we stayed in South Kensington the first two nights and then at the Savoy. Both very nice. South Ken is close to the V&A and Harrods (Knightsbridge shopping). Tube was easy and you can get to all the main tourist attractions easily!

  3. Anon

    I need your savvy advice. I am interviewing for a job for what feels like the first time. (I got my first position through on campus recruiting and the salary/benefits were standard for all entry level employees – like in BigLaw.) I’ve never evaluated a job offer or negotiated a salary and benefits before. When you are offered a position, do you typically get a written summary of the proposed compensation? Or do you just have a conversation with HR? This probably varies greatly by industry and region, but I am interviewing in a few different fields and would appreciate any input you can provide.

    If HR says: “Employees at this level typically earn $x through $x plus 5k” – do you accept that as the range or see if there is wiggle room? For example, for one of the positions I applied for, I have two more years of experience than the job posting requires, should I say that I was hoping to be closer to x+15 and ask if that is a possibility based on my additional experience?

    If a salary range is mentioned in an initial interview and you don’t make any attempt to negotiate at that point, can/should you still negotiate if you are offered the position?

    Thanks Corporettes!

    • anon

      I’m not in law. In my experience (broader corporate), so long as the salary range they are giving you is reasonable, I would focus my attention on getting the offer first. Make them want you. Bringing up questions about pay before they’ve even figured out if you’re a contender or not will not help your cause.

      Once you get that offer firmly in hand, you can start to negotiate salary. And you should always try and negotiate salary, despite what HR says. Use specific examples if possible (e.g. salary for similar roles) and be clear but polite. If they don’t move, they don’t move, but if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. Some companies/roles actually expect a certain amount of salary negotiation and build that into the offer. So don’t sell yourself short.

      • L

        Ask for an offer in writing and give yourself enough time to review it. You can ask clarifying questions about benefits (transportation, flex spending accounts, etc) to help you compare the offer to what others in the field make. Maybe they have awesome benefits, great vacation, etc.

        • anon in NY

          Agreed, but don’t take too long to review the offer. Some people, especially in this economy, get sort of angry if you don’t respond quickly and it seems like you’re just buying time to buy time.

    • AnonInfinity

      I was offered two positions upon graduation — Firm A sent me a formal letter outlining all of the pay and benefits, and Firm B did not. Firm B just gave me a general overview of the pay and benefits, so I called back later and talked to one of the partners about specifics and asked about everything that was in Firm A’s letter. I did not ask them to put it in writing, but I suppose you could. Maybe that was stupid of me, but it worked out because I ended up working at Firm B, and they gave me everything that was promised.

      As for salary negotiation — I would not try to negotiate in an interview. Wait until after you have an offer, but do try, especially since you have something to back it up. When trying to negotiate, definitely bring up your experience and use that as a basis for a higher salary.

    • Niktaw

      MAKE SURE you request a written summary of vacation time, sick time, and holidays. For instance, if you have kids in school and the firm is open on minor holidays like Columbus Day, you’ll need to make extra arrangements for daycare, or use the precious vacation time. If the company would not budge on salary, try to negotiate for extra vacation time.
      Ask about the cost of health insurance and coverage for family members.
      Find out the parking situation. I used to work in DC where parking cost $10/day (it was some years ago) and the lot would get full by 7:30am. Some companies have public transportation allowance and/or pre-tax option for the same.
      401K matching is another form of compensation. Ask about the match amount and vesting schedule.

      • ks

        The above mentioned items are critical. Never respond on the spot and ask for at least 24 hours to review the offer and do any further research based upon questions you may have. I was once given an offer and upon further inquiry about costs for family health insurance, found a HUGE difference between the job I was in and the job I was being offered. I was able to make the case for an additional $10K per year on that point alone.

    • Erin

      The word “typically” indicates to me that there is wiggle room. If the salary range is fixed, then HR will tell you there’s a fixed range (in which case you negotiate for the high end of the range or, if they give you an offer at the high end, you negotiate on benefits). However, you mention that you’ve only applied for a position. You don’t negotiate salary until you have the offer. Don’t bring it up in an interview unless they explicitly ask you what your salary expectation is. Yes, you can and should still negotiate even if a range is mentioned in the interview or job posting, and even if you’ve already told them what your salary expectation is.

      As far as negotiation strategies go, generally you should ask for more than you want. How much more depends on what the offer is – as a rule of thumb, I think you’re generally going to be able to get 5-10% more than their initial offer, so you can ask for 15-20% more. However, if you feel that their initial offer is way too low, go ahead and ask for more. Make sure you can back up your request by demonstrating why you’d be worth that much to the company.

  4. Anon

    I just had my annual review and a lot of the “room for improvement” feedback I got was that I am “shy and appear timid” and need to improve my confidence. I have always been an introverted person and I am not sure how to get over this. This, and my lack of confidence in myself, is why I haven’t furthered my education in my caeer path and these traits are having and overall negative impact on my career. I am always too afraid to take the lead on a project for fear of doing it wrong or generally embarrassing myself. I really want to be a leader in my field but when the opportunities come to get there, I am too timid to take them. I have struggled with this my entire life. I’ve tried “faking it” but that hasn’t done much for me either. Does anyone have any success stories as to how they got over this??

    • AnonInfinity

      This post indicates that there are further educational steps you could take in your career. Do you think that taking those courses or getting that additional degree would increase your confidence? Learning more about your field so that you know how to handle some of the more common obstacles might help you.

    • anon

      A career coach could help.
      Start small with the confidence building; set small goals for yourself and as you reach them, use that to build confidence for the next step. Going from 0 to 100 is tough for most people.
      Depending on how deep your confidence issues go (e.g. is this something that is causing major problems outside the office?) maybe a therapist would also help.

    • ADL

      Similar to what the others mention, does your HR offer classes? I’m supposing your company is willing to help you in the areas that need improvement. Just ask.

        • Plan B

          I’ve heard of people doing improv classes and it really helping them – it seems as though it would be a lower-pressure way to gain confidence. You mentioned that you were afraid to take the lead on projects because of the fear of doing it wrong or embarrassing yourself, but there aren’t really any stakes in an improv class, because it isn’t your job or your career. Good luck!

    • yogi

      As someone with a JD who has received similar feedback, I have to say that my self-esteem is not linked to external accomplishments. Going for another degree may be valuable for many reasons, but in my experience building self-esteem is not one of them. Self-esteem is internal and thus must be addressed from the inside out, not the outside in. Maybe take some time to consider why you lack self esteem and talk to a counselor about building it? I’m still working on it myself, so I don’t have any great answers.

      • I second this

        Find a therapist or some other person/resource to help you figure out why your self-esteem is so much lower than your value as a person. In the meantime, you should fake it. I am always second-guessing myself and adding qualifiers, but now that I am aware of it, I do my best to muffle them. I triple-edit my emails to delete that kind of language; I accept assignments without reservation unless there are valid things that need to be told to the assigner; etc. I think of it this way: If I screw up, I will still be in trouble, so I should just pretend that I believe it will turn out great. Then if it does, I get full credit and no feedback re: confidence. And if it doesn’t, then I’m in the same situation I would be even if I had hemmed and hawed and sounded unconfident from the start. And the truth is, usually I don’t screw up, and when I do, I catch it in time OR someone else does OR it doesn’t end up being a big deal OR it’s the kind of mistake people make a lot.

      • Alana

        Oh yes. I remember groaning on the inside when some BarBri employee said, “What you need most to pass the Bar is confidence.” I remember thinking, “I don’t have time for that! I just need to pass the exam.”

    • Jas

      I’m also naturally shy and introverted. One thing that has helped me is realizing that those two don’t have to go together. I tried for years to be extroverted, but if you’re an introvert, that’s just exhausting. It was far easier for me to change my body language to appear less shy than to be talkative. Sit up straight, uncross your arms, uncross your legs, spread out and take space. Look people in the eye (I have a lot of trouble with this one). Talk louder. Make sure you show your teeth when you smile. I’m still shy, but a lot of people don’t realize it, so instead people seem to assume that I’m thinking all sorts of deep thoughts when I’m quiet.

      • Viv

        It will take time and experience, but you can get there. Gradually get out of your comfort zone more and more, and it will become less scary. Just don’t be too hard on yourself. None of us are perfect, and there are probably some other great qualities you have that ARE helping you to succeed, even if confidence isn’t one of them. Recognize where you do shine. Are you a great listener? A talented writer? Do you have strong analytical skills? Are you a fast learner? Remember what your strengths are. Also, you might want to read the book Introvert Power. I haven’t read it myself, but a blogger I love recommended it.

    • law talking girl

      It sounds like you are suffering from the tyranny of the extrovert. Modern American society expects everyone to be outgoing, confident, a team player, and have “leadership” skills. It tends to undervalue solitude, quiet, introspection, and the capacity to work and think alone. I am also an introvert and the only criticism I got at my last performance review was that I needed to work on being more “aggressive.” I choose to ignore this advice because there is simply no way I am going to change my personality traits to fit my job. You don’t “get over” being introverted. That is how you are and that is how you should be. However, unless you are in a field that does value introversion (not sure what this would be, maybe laboratory science?), you have to find a way to be as successful as you want to be in a world that only values extroversion. Faking it has definitely helped me. Don’t give up on that. Keep going with it. It has also helped me to see other people making mistakes. It proves that I can make a decision that turns out to be wrong and yet still be okay. I haven’t read this book (http://tinyurl.com/86ll36j) but it looks like it might have good advice.

      http://allendowney.com/essays/tyranny.html

    • Alana

      This may or may not be applicable, but as a timid introvert, I gained some degree of confidence by continuing my education because at least a license or certification confers a basic level of competence.

      And yes, beginner improv classes are awesome!

    • J lawyer

      Hi, I have a similar issue (although I take the lead on many things, in meetings seem quite and bashful). I’m going to take a “Toastmasters” class (public speaking course for businesspeople). They have chapters all over the world. Maybe that would help?

  5. hip hop anonymous

    Dear Woman Walking out of the Train this Morning Wearing Bright Red Leggings-As-Pants:

    1) Leggings are not paints; and 2) you are drawing way too much attention to the fact that you do not know this rule.

    XOXO,

    HHA

    • Susan

      Maybe she knows that leggings aren’t pants and is purposely wearing them to get said attention.

      Hey, just because she’s desperate doesn’t mean she’s clueless about what leggings are.

      • anon

        yeah, i think her message is more “i love my legs/leggings and want you all to look at them”
        different strokes.

    • phillygirlruns

      inspired by this comment: i am violating the leggings-are-not-pants rule AND the there-is-no-way-on-god’s-green-earth-you-should-ever-wear-leggings-to-the-office rule.

      i’m heading to NYC for the night straight from work and wanted to minimize what i’m packing AND be comfortable. hence, i am wearing black leggings, tall flat boots, a black sweater with a slight cowlneck over a long black tank, and a black blazer (as if somehow, the blazer will fool everyone into thinking i’m dressed appropriately). i’m planning to wear the same leggings & boots in the city tomorrow with a more casual top. for now, i’m owning it and pretending i work in the fashion industry, where surely this would be OK.

      at least they’re not red leggings.

      • Susan

        I think the color here is important. Take my standard, conservatively-cut, navy pinstripe pantsuit and make that neon green– now it makes an entirely different statement, no?

        Your travel outfit is great– it sounds comfortable and yet it’s versatile. But it’s not screamingly attention-getting.

        Now, we can debate whether attention-getting is good or bad, and when is it appropriate, but I think when one wears red leggings in lieu of pants, it’s probably not by accident.

      • Erin

        I really hope they’re opaque leggings. A lot of the time one thinks one’s leggings are opaque, but they’re not, especially not when stretched over the, uh, better-endowed parts of one’s body. That goes double if one is wearing polka dot panties underneath said leggings, like the girl directly in front of me in spinning class the other day.

        • phillygirlruns

          very opaque – they are lululemon wunder under workout tights, actually. i have 5 black pair (one full length and four crops) and i frequently wear them on the weekends as “regular clothes.” i have never seen leggings-designed-as-leggings that are truly opaque, especially when bending/flexing joints/etc.

      • Bunkster

        I’m wearing a similar travel-themed outfit. All week long I’ve been wearing sheaths or pencil skirts. Today I’m wearing grey cords, a blue v-neck sweater and clogs. I’m headed to NH for a ski weekend right after work and I didn’t want to have to pack more casual shoes and pants, in addition to my snow boots, ski pants, etc.

        • Blonde Lawyer

          I hope the weather picks up for you Bunkster. Unfortunately, it is raining in my part of New Hampshire right now. Hopefully, that is snow in the mountains and not pure ice!

        • TCFKAG

          Have fun Bunkster. If the weather doesn’t improve — I guess you get to stay in and just drink hot toddies!

    • Anon

      I feel like every woman who is wearing leggings as pants (and is not covering her rear, working out or at home) should have to carry around a photo of herself from behind all day, so she knows what everyone else is seeing.

      • CSF

        There was a woman at the grocery store just two days ago with black leggings as pants. Every time she would bend over, the fabric would stretch, and everyone could plainly see her lovely white granny panties.

        Now, I have no problem with granny panties, but I don’t want to see them displayed in the milk aisle.

  6. canadian anon

    You guys, I have such an unreasonable level of adoration for Paul Krugman. I just want to invite him over for dinner and be his best friend and get him to explain everything to everyone I know. Who’s your favourite (newspaper or online) columnist?

      • cbackson

        I loved Hitchens, even though I occasionally disagreed with him violently (I’m religious, and I thought in the invasion of Iraq was a bad thing). I loved his takedown of Mother Theresa.

        • canadian anon

          Same. I thought his take on religion was way off (speaking as an observant religious person who also is in a family full of engineers, physicists, artists and other highly educated types…), but he was so clear-minded and well-written on so many things. Always a pleasure, even if you disagreed.

          • Susan

            Yes– he wrote beautiful, clear, and witty prose. Even when I disagreed with him (often enough), it was good for me to try to sharpen my mental pencil to marshall points against his position in those cases.

            Re: his axe to grind against religion and the impulse towards religiosity. I have this problem with Richard Dawkins as well. And while I, too, am very leery of politicized religion or anything where religious institutions try to push towards a theocracy or to try to get special carveouts from the respective country’s legal system (here, I side with Creon, NOT Antigone)….I don’t think the desire to believe in something is so contemptible.

        • Huh

          Really? I don’t have any opinion on whether Mother Theresa should be named a saint or not, but I thought that his vitriol toward her was unfair and unwarranted. I have been to Mother Theresa’s mission in India and I guarantee that none of us would be able to do what she has done and lived as how she lived for more than a week, if that. I don’t agree with some of her views (on abortion, namely), but that doesn’t take away all of the great things she has done for the poor in India (and the women in her order who work outside of India). I’m not Christian, nor am I particularly religious by the way.

          • cbackson

            I think that a person with her degree of moral persuasion had the power to stand for radical structural social justice, and she didn’t. There is a powerful and longstanding tradition of that kind of witness among Catholic nuns and priests – many of whom died for it – but they often go unrecognized because they were a threat to a social system that denied the humanity of poor and indigenous people. I think that Christianity calls us to be such a threat to systems of injustice, and she didn’t. Given her stature in the world, that was a moral failing.

          • Susan

            That’s exactly Hitchens’ point. He realized that her name was being trotted out whenever someone wanted an example of someone who was “perfectly saintly” and he brought out his skeptic’s hat and started digging into her record and her work. He found some examples of great work, and some not-so-stellar, not-so-ethical behavior, too.

            Why can’t he be vitriolic? The idea that someone can do a lot of great charity work and somehow use that as a shield against all criticism is ridiculous and that was more the point of his book than just to dig into her life.

            And don’t be so quick to write us all off because of our lifestyles now. People live all sorts of ways– there are plenty of people right now, in many parts of the world, who live in far worse conditions than the late Mother Theresa and show great compassion and humanity, but without the fame, or, as Hitchens argued, the “fame-whoring.”

          • lawdiva

            I’m not too familiar withHitchins’ view on Mother Theresa, but I have read about Mother Theresa some and I always thought that the fact she was/is put on a pedestal never had anything to do with what SHE said. It seemed like others wanted to make her a very big deal, but I never recall her going out there and saying “I’m so great, look at me, blah blah.”

            And yes, Hitchins has every right to be vitriolic – it’s a free country. Doesn’t mean that the OP has to agree with him, right?

    • Noelle

      Gail Collins. Even though her fixation with Mitt Romney’s dog is getting a little old, that woman just cracks me up.

      Also, Frank Rich. Frank Bruni is a sub-par replacement for him in the NYT.

        • anon

          hey, Selia is allowed to hate (HATE) Paul Krugman … but you have to tell us who you do like (or LIKE) to read …

          • Selia

            Ha! Thanks – it was truly just an initial reaction – no true hatred that keeps me up at night!

            @Anon 12:46 – no congratulations necessary, was just an opinion.

            I happen to like Peggy Noonan’s commentary in the WSJ. But anyone is free to HATE her, too!

    • SRB

      Two of my favorites are Sayed Kashua and Yossi Sarid. They both have columns in Haaretz, an Israeli newspaper. Kashua is an Israeli Arab, and he writes with a lot of humor and self-deprecation about very touchy subjects, most often in the form of vignettes about his experiences of what it is like to be in the Arab minority within Israel. He’s also written two really interesting books, one a veiled memoir and the other entirely fictional (I hope). Sarid is a former politician, and he writes with kind of a New Yorker (magazine) tone. I find him to be similar to, but less abrasive than, Frank Rich (I know, [ex]NYT, not NYer, but that is the best comparison I could come up with). Sarid includes biblical references that are easy to miss in the English, but they make his work that much more cutting.

      • Lapid?

        @ SRB:

        While we’re on the topic, how about Yair Lapid? I have read him only in English translation, but love his columns. Also his book about his dad, “Memoirs After My Death,” which is being read out loud in Hebrew and translated into English for me. So well written.

        • SRB

          I haven’t read him, unfortunately. But another amazing memoir is A Tale of Love and Darkness, by Amos Oz, about his childhood and what happens to his parents. I don’t like his fiction writing that much, but his nonfiction is really gripping, and this was especially so. Maybe I will add the Lapid book to my cart now….

  7. Bunkster

    Ladies, can I express my extreme amusement that Demi Moore was doing whippets? I can’t stop laughing.

    • Susan

      Ladies, you can laugh at how not-with-it I am that I had to google “whippets” and “Demi Moore.”

      At first, I thought, oh dear, from that Kutcher dude with the weird peachfuzz chin to besti…Santorum-….racing dogs???

      • Bunkster

        I know! Teenagers do whippets because they don’t have access and/or funds to get other substances. Demi Moore has both.

        • Amelia Pond

          I didn’t even know people did whip-its any more! I thought that was a 90s thing.

    • canadian anon

      I don’t even KNOW what a whip-it (??) is. And never heard of them until two days ago. At all. I am right there with you, not-with-it commenters and Bunkster’s mom!!

    • phillygirlruns

      I KNOW! i associate whippets with my years working at tgifriday’s, where a number of my co-workers just couldn’t make it through a shift without ruining every freaking can of whipped cream. so annoying.

      • Susan

        Cocaine? So 1990s! ( I loved the late Julia Phillips’ memoirs of her Hollywood producers days in _You’ll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again_*)

        I believe Adderall is the mood-altering drug of choice now for the women celebrities, primarily because it aids in the unhealthy weight-loss contest they all seem to be engaged in.

        *It cracked me (and probably Julia) up that the woman who helped break up her marriage to Michael Phillips had been a model, and upon getting married to M.P., she decided her starvation days were over and ballooned to over 200lbs.

    • anon

      i can’t belive you all are so insensitive. especially on a women-focused blog.

      it is a strange drug of choice for a celebrity – but this is a woman in a time of hurt. very public infidelity and divorce. maybe she should have known better, but im surprised that no one expressed their surprise along with some sympathy. its probably not easy being her right now.

      • Susan

        I can’t believe you’re getting into a twist about people being snarky about a celebrity whose bills are paid by the gossip and notoriety and fame quotient.

        Love that you stereotype that just because this is a women-focused blog, we’re all supposed to gush in floodwaves of sympathy. We’re sympathetic sometimes, but we’re also snarky, especially when people are being as stupid as you are.

  8. Susan

    And ugh, I hate this blazer. It’s the color of thin gruel– maybe Oliver Twist will like it?

    It also seems to hit right at the widest point of the hip, or right above it, drawing more attention to the area. This is the same reason why I hate short jacket and cropped jackets/tops.

    • a passion for fashion

      i love that you said gruel. thats what my dad always used to tell us we were having for dinner when we wouldnt stop asking.

      • Susan

        Ye olde British food has so many fun names.

        The term “suet pudding” seems particularly offputting. Although I had a variant of suet pudding (dessert) that was tasty, and it had an inappropriate name, at least to my Yankee ears: “Spotted d!ck.”

        • Amelia Bedelia

          I love that one!!!!!! For years I could not understand why my american friends would laugh hilariously whenever I mentioned it . . .
          bangers and mash – still an all-time fave.

      • ABC

        Haha, when I’d ask my mom too many times what we were having for dinner, she’d say “rat poison.”

  9. chanceux

    Need a little help. I’m in need of a black bag to take my stuff to and from work, as my cloth bag just isn’t cutting it for work. I just passed the bar (admission next month!) and am looking for something that I can use when I get a normal job (working temp now).

    I’m looking at the Mott Street Riley bag from Kate Spade, http://www.katespade.com/mott-street-riley/PXRU2565-1,default,pd.html?dwvar_PXRU2565-1_color=001&start=58&cgid=sale-handbags , but if I’m going to spend $200 I want to know about the quality and other things I should know about buying a bag that cost more than $40 (girl has to start somewhere, right?). Will this work? I don’t know anything about Kate Spade’s leather either, is it good? Is there something I should look for in work bags that I’m missing in this one?

    I know it seems like such a basic question, but I’m new to all this and it’s a lot of money to experiment with and it makes me nervous.

    • NOLA

      If you don’t want to spend as much, you might try looking at a Wilson Leather outlet. I’ve gotten some nice inexpensive leather totes there in various colors, for around $40. They don’t hold up forever, but then again, if you don’t spend a fortune on it, you wouldn’t expect that. The leather is decent quality and they hold their shape and a lot of them have straps long enough to go over the shoulder.

      • Erin

        Also at a lower price point, Brooks Brothers has a leather tote that often goes on sale and is a perfect work tote. And check out 6pm, eBags, and Overstock to look for designer bags at a discount.

        I actually prefer a non-leather bag for work because it’s easier to clean and less likely to get scuffed or ruined if I spill something in it. A lot of people use Longchamps Le Pliage bags, but I have a LeSportsac Erika and I love it.

        • Erin

          This is the BB tote I was thinking of, but they have a lot of nice bags in their sale section:

          http://tinyurl.com/6rtzp56

          Also don’t forget to check out Nordstrom Rack, TJ Maxx and the like! They often have nice designer bags from last season at a steep discount.

          • MeliaraofTlanth

            I bought that bag when it was on sale like two weeks ago and have had the worst experience. I got it in the camel color. The leather pull on the zipper broke off on the second day I used it. The inside isn’t lined and little leather fuzzy bits flake off and cling to everything in my purse (I stuck some files in there that now have completely fuzzy edges). I’m actually going to call brooks brothers and see if they will accept a return as defective even though I’ve used it. So yea, I’d find another option. I’ve gotten way better totes on sale at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx.

    • ADL

      Kate Spade leather is excellent.

      I would, however, assess the dimensions of the bag and what are you going to be carrying around in the bag? This bag won’t hold much – maybe a file folder along with everything else. But definitely not a laptop plus a file folder plus a wallet plus a pair of heels, etc.

      Also, if you’re set on Kate Spade, my suggestion is to call a Kate Spade outlet center and tell them what you’re looking for and see if they have anything similar in stock at a lower price. I’ve had fantastic luck at Kate Spade outlets getting a larger purse for $100.

      • chanceux

        I just need somethign that will carry my lunch, other odds and ends in my purse (brush, small makeup bag, ect), a book, some papers, and a pair of heels. I also would like a zipper.

        Not set on Kate Spade, just happened across this one. I figured I’d have to spend around that price point, but if I can do it for less, awesome.

    • ks

      Look at the LL Bean Town and Field leather tote. $159. I’ve had mine for 4-5 years and it’s still going strong. It may be a little larger than you are looking for, but it is a great value and comes in a few colors (including black).

    • Bonnie

      I really like Kate Spade bags and that’s a great price. If you sign up for their email list, Kate Spade will send you a code for an additional discount.

    • SC

      I bought a black Kate Spade bag to carry my stuff to and from work when I started. The bag often gets pretty heavy with laptop, books, files, etc. But the leather has held up beautifully – no stretching or other loss in shape at all. As a bigger surprise, all the stitching and hardware has held up too – no fraying threads, everything still in its place. It’s only been about 6 months, but I’m really happy with the quality!

      Agree with other posters that it might be a little small – but to each her own :)

    • RR

      If you aren’t completely decided on leather, I love my Lo & Sons nylon bag. It is so clever, with pockets for laptop, and the file I have to carry everywhere (I split my time between two cities, so I’m always carrying a laptop and about an inch thick file). It’s the most comfortable work tote I’ve had. The customer service was fabulous as well. Highly recommend.

  10. at a loss

    Question for the hive: in a job application, I’m asked to state what I’m providing to the company (in terms of experiences and such). Looking at my resume, I feel like I’m not really providing anything. What would you say to something like this? Mention years of experience? Changes you’ve implemented in past work places?

    • Susan

      Is this a law job?

      If you’ve led teams, mention leadership experience. Do you have project management experience (where you’re leading a team to reach goal X but don’t have a higher rank over the people you’re supposed to lead and get stuff from)? Have you ever been assigned a problem client and turned that client around, improving the relationship? Have you done marketing (gotten the firm’s name out there, sought new clients yourself)?

      If you are more junior, you can indicate the ways in which you’ve supported your partners.

    • Ellen

      YOU should say you are bringing your ENERGY, FOCUS and DRIVE to an organization that you beleive will be very able to use and benefit by it.

      That is what I told the manageing partner when I interviewed, and I had NO Experience at ALL!

      It is a VERY dumb question, but when you are Looking for a job, you have to put up with alot of this type of stuff, b/c these are really CANNED questions from HR. FOOEY ON HR! FOOEY!!!

    • Niktaw

      To answer the immediate question, I’d say “Experience in (subject areas)”, “Skill (to do whatever the job involves)” etc.
      But it would seem that you need to change the resume, stat, to include the above.

    • karenpadi

      LinkedIn has a new feature where you can add skills to your profile. Based on my title, they gave me a list of skills from which to choose. Honestly, I have a pretty narrow niche and career but I was amazed that I could honestly claim about 10 of them. Maybe go to LinkedIn and check out their skill inventory based on your profile?

  11. K in NYC

    I just had a situation where I allowed myself to get majorly worked up because someone else was and, now 24 hrs later, am almost shocked by myself at such. Though I’m typically pretty calm, it really amazes me how, ever so often, I can be caught up in someone else’s drama when they try to make the drama mine!

    Does this ever happen to you?

    • Susan

      Depends on whether I like the person or not. If it’s someone I care about a lot and that person is very upset, I let open the empathy gates and get flooded and totally overwhelmed by the feelings. Or, if that person is super happy, then I get caught up in their excitement and am totally flooded over with happiness for them.

      If it’s someone I dislike intensely, I look at them coldly, while they’re carrying on.

    • Anonymous

      I worked at a terrible firm for a while. One consistent theme among the employees was that our SO’s were more upset about our work situation than we were ourselves.

      • Susan

        This. It’s said that people can get used to anything.

        And that trait (ability to endure, partially by adjusting what we consider to be ‘normal’ based on the context) has been both good and bad for humanity. Kazuo Ishiguro focuses on this trait in _Never Let Me Go_; dictators have exploited it to keep people oppressed for decades….

        My then-SO now hubby was not part of my crazy work-world, and hadn’t internalized the crazy Through the Looking Glass values that I’d started to internalize and accept, so he kept getting upset about how I and other junior people were treated until I woke the heck up one day and agreed with him. I’ve since moved onto greener pastures!

  12. Consulting

    Does anyone out there have experience with consulting through a large consulting group?

    I have been out of work a few months and, although I would prefer a permanent job, I’ve gotten hooked up with a consulting firm which does long term assignments. I’ve already interviewed with the client and, while it is not my dream job, the pay is good and I really liked the people. So I am OK with treading water for a while career-wise in exchange for a paycheck.

    If I do get an offer, what do I need to negotiate? I don’t need benefits (get them through my husband), and I have two separate weeks I’d like to block for vacation — I would accrue some kind of paid vacation with the consulting firm. I can manage my own retirement savings.

    This is a multi-year project, and ideally I’d like to do this for 6-8 months and then see what other options the consulting firm can offer. They have several clients who I’d love to work for, in the right role. I imagine their perspective would be wanting to keep me in the job until it’s over so I’d have to look elsewhere. Or is rotating roles an option? Thanks for your help in pointing out anything I am missing or advice on the rotation!

    • Amelia Pond

      I am in consulting and started with the same situtaion: multi year project that wasn’t ideal but other projects were. The key for me was getting involved at the consulting corporate level. I made sure that when the corporate office need help on a small assignment I was the one to offer, when they needed a subject matter expert to review something I volunteered. It was in addition to my tasks on the project so it was at times extra hours, but when a position opened up at a different office I was poised to transition over because I could point out how my skill sets were a better use in the other project and they knew what level of work I could offer.

      • Amelia Pond

        Granted the new office has turned out to be a complete disaster and I am trying to find something out of the counsulting group, but they were receptive to me changing once they were more in touch with my day to day work and not just knowing abstractly from interviews/resume.

    • caesia

      If you don’t need many of the benefits they might offer you (insurance, retirement), I’d use that to negotiate more money.

      We’re a smaller consulting firm but we’d prefer not to rotate people out of projects midway since relationships have been built and client expectations are set by that point.

    • DC Kolchitongi

      I use it daily as an all-in-one base and vastly prefer it to foundation. To my eye, it gives you a smooth, even skin tone without making you look like you’ve shellacked your face with goo (as I always thought foundation looked). The anti-wrinkle, whitening, etc properties may or may not be for real; I don’t pay much attention since I use it purely as make-up and not as skin care.
      However:
      -I use BB creams from Korean brands Hanskin and Sulwhasoo. I get my supply when I go visit my in-laws in Seoul and I don’t know whether/how you can buy them in America. I have never used a BB cream made by an American company and can’t speak to the quality.
      -Korean brands assume that everyone using their product is white as a sheet. If you have any skin pigmentation at all, make sure the brand you’re buying specifically says what color it is.
      -I still use an SPF moisturizer underneath because I don’t feel like I slather the BB cream on in a sufficient quantity to offer total sun protection.

    • Cb

      I’ve been hearing about these lately and was thinking about picking one up at Boots. Garnier is supposed to make one but I think the Asian brands are probably better. I am too pale for a lot of foundation brands (finally found Laura Mercier in porcelain that works) so I’m thinking it would be worth a shot.

  14. hip hop anonymous

    I have myself a dilemma today (and my second post on this thread with my new name — I had previously only posted anonymously on this site)

    Today I am wearing a pencil skirt with two back vents. Unfortunately, I was sitting incorrectly the one side of one of the vents was bent up weird — now it won’t go back down! If that makes any sense ot anyone. I can deal with wrinkles, but part of my skirt is actually sticking out/looking really wonky. Can you all think of any fix?

  15. just Karen

    Thank you ladies for your help with boots yesterday – I found the boots Another S recommended at my local DSW – even better, they were on the sale rack for $60. My feet are nice and toasty in them right now, and I am considering getting them online in another color. Hooray!

  16. Not-So-Stuck

    Just wanted to mention I have a phone interview for a new job prospect today! I don’t know if this is the golden ticket, but it’s nice not to feel so stuck. I’ve complained about my job on this forum before, and many of you encouraged me to try to find something better. I appreciate the support :)

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