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Updated: Nov 11, 2021 154 Comments · by

Gift Idea: Leather Journals

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Coworker Gift Idea: Leather Journal

I'm a sucker for a good leather journal. I used to haunt Kate's Paperie in January for sales, but there are so many beautiful options online now, who needs to? A reader recommended this Etsy shop a long while ago, and the products still look gorgeous. I'd get this for… well… just about anyone. (Although if I were giving this to a coworker, I'd probably choose a different quote!)

It's $25 at Etsy. Leather Journal – Handmade Leather Sketchbook Cover – Custom Journal – Monogram – Personalize – not all who wander are lost journal

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Mrs. Luke Danes

    I’m looking for a work bag for my mom that is $100-150, zips or snaps shut, and has a sleeve for a laptop (13″). Any ideas? Most of the lower price points don’t have the laptop sleeve (or any internal organization – they’re just buckets). TIA.

  2. House Mouse

    I would like to take a moment to complain about what is admittedly a “first world” problem.

    One of the things I really want in life is to own a home. However, I live in the Bay Area which is ridiculous. I make $150K a year plus maybe 15%-20% in bonus and I’m not a bad saver (probably can save $40K-$50K a year cash plus I max out 401K and Roth IRA). No loans. I also have $50K in Roth IRA contributions that I can take out. Maybe can borrow $50K from parents when the time comes. So in 2 years I can have $160K for a down payment, but that’s only enough for $800K. I really want a 2 bedroom so I can rent out one of the bedrooms, but there’s literally two of those available on Redfin once I put in my max price. And who knows what the prices will be by the time I finally save up my down payment.

    What are some ways that I can keep my spirits up – and keep saving – when the real estate environment here is so DISpiriting? This holiday season I got into a funk of “I’m never going to be able to buy a place so why the F am I saving so much,” which is not a healthy or constructive way to think.

    Also I understand that in the grand scheme of things I’m fortunate.

      • JJ

        This. If owning a home is a true priority and goal for you, then you may have to move from one (if not the) most expensive markets in the country.

        As for putting 20% down, it depends on what’s acceptable in your market. We didn’t put 20% down on our last house and avoided PMI by doing two mortgages. But we put 15% down and, where we are, anything less than that meant that the sellers probably would not accept your offer.

      • House Mouse

        I have thought about moving and have in fact tried out living in Texas and NC. Family is in CA and I love CA, plus the ecosystem of jobs in the Bay Area is pretty solid. I don’t want to move somewhere cheaper where there are only a few good employers because the times of being at the same company for decades is over and gone.

        • TXLawyer

          Consider giving Austin a chance. Comparatively low COL and a growing tech industry. Austin gets the benefit of being in Texas, which typically has a healthy economy, but feels more like CA in terms of people, lifestyle, etc.

        • Mpls

          Well, how many employers of a certain type to you need in one place to be comfortable? Are you in an industry where you need to change jobs in order to move up? Yes, many people don’t stay at the same job for decades, especially not at first, but how many employers do you think is typical for the type of job/industry you have? I doubt you need to have 30 options, but maybe 3-5 would make sense?

          I think there are other metropolitan areas out there that also have a good “ecosystem of jobs” – you just happen to be most familiar with SF. And if you want to stay in SF because you love the area/city/state – that’s fine, but it’s also not a unicorn when it comes to having a nice array of jobs and employers.

          • House Mouse

            I also LOVE the Bay Area. ;) Guess I just have expensive taste in geography.

          • Mpls

            That’s fair :) I just wouldn’t get so caught up in the “awesome job market” if the owning a home is more important. But, if what is important is “owning a home in the Bay Area”, then yes, moving isn’t going to help with that. Or “owning a home near family and friends” and family and friends are in the Bay Area.

            I would totally consider moving to another location (with a better gender balance for hetero-dating purposes – Mpls/St. Paul are heavy on the women side, so makes the options slim to unsuitable), but all my friends are here and I don’t really relish the idea of having to find new ones.

        • Anonymous

          Are you in tech? My bay area tech friends that want a low(er) cost of living are looking at Seattle, Austin, Boston and Raleigh/Durham. My understanding is there’s lots of jobs in all those places.

      • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

        I moved from SF to LA and my ability to buy a home in a reasonable amount of time has increased dramatically. I also hated the bay area, and am from and love LA, fwiw.

        • House Mouse

          I wouldn’t mind living in LA. My impression is that job market in the Bay seems so much broader and deeper than LA’s.

          Where in LA did you look at?

          • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

            I live in West LA. I work for the same firm I worked for in the Bay Area, but from home. I also needed to be closer to my elderly parents since I am their caregiver.

      • Anonymous

        This. We left the bay area to move to flyover country. We are far richer here with less than a third of what we were making there. My friends and I used to joke that only in the bay area do you see tech workers, consultants and lawyers driving BMWs, vacationing in Bora Bora and going out to eat at Michelin-starred restaurants, and yet all still renting because they can’t *begin* to afford to buy homes. I loved living in the bay area and I miss my friends there but I am so much happier now and am so glad I left. FWIW, in my opinion the down payment is just the beginning of the story. After 5 years in Big Law we had the $250K saved up for the $1 million+ home (or, more realistically, townhouse), it was the thought of the $6K+ a month mortgage for the next 30 years that would keep me locked into a job I didn’t love that I couldn’t stomach.

        • nutella

          my thoughts exactly. i am so surprised at some of these comments re down payments – 6k+ a month in mortgage for 30 years is a huge, huge, huge deal.

          • Amy H.

            But rent for a 2BR in SF starts at $4500/mo. right now — and that’s if you’re lucky enough to have been in a rent-controlled place for a few years already….

    • anon

      We felt the same way around 2007-2008 in a different hot housing market. We kept saving anyway, because we didn’t know what else to do, despite our calculations that we wouldn’t be able to afford anything decent anytime soon. Then 2009 happened, prices dropped, our solid but unspectacular jobs allowed us to qualify for mortgages in a tight lending environment, and bam, we got a decent apartment that we still live in today.

      Keep saving, if buying is your dream. The housing/tech bubble could pop. You could get an unexpected small inheritance. You could partner with someone who shares your dream, and who has an income/savings that makes the difference. You could get a dream job offer in North Carolina. Or more than one of these things could happen at once. Life is surprising. If you keep saving, you’ll be in a position to take advantage of any of these bits of “good luck” if they come your way.

      • First Year Anon

        I am in a similar-ish situation as the OP. I get frustrated too- what’s the point in saving so aggressively if I can’t even see the end goal to it all? Maybe I should just live it up like most of my friends.

        But I also agree that the market could burst, you could get a windfall, plans could change, anything….basic finance shows time and time again that the money you save in your youth is the most important money you will save due to time value of money and compound interest. If you can keep saving, do it. If you don’t feel like you’re scraping by and suffering by saving and generally happy, do it. Future you will be VERY HAPPY you did this, even if it doesn’t mean you end up owning a home in the Bay, or even if it does.

        I also learned that the type of housing you want is often un-achievable on one income. It sucks, but the majority of who you are competing against are dual income couples. That gives them SO MUCH MORE purchasing power. But you never know, in a few years you might be with someone who can contribute that bit more to help you get what you want.

        • House Mouse

          Thanks! This is the exactly kind of encouragement I need… I’m resigned to the fact that I’d have to get “lucky” in some ways with the market or windfall in order to own in SF or the Peninsula, but I can do things now (save save saaaaaave) to put myself into a position where I can take advantage of the luck when it comes.

      • Anonymous

        Really? I don’t know about the Bay Area in particular, but usually 20% down means no PMI. I put that much down and I don’t think it’s unusual.

        • Anonymous

          We put 10% down on a home in the Bay Area and didn’t pay PMI, but did take out a HELOC to get us over the mortgage caps (I think?). We just refinanced all of it into a straight 30 year mortgage.

        • Opal

          Not Bay Area but HCOL New England – no PMI with at least 8% down at my small, local bank. You have to shop around for it but it’s out there for a strong borrower. When we figured that out we were able to afford our first home last year.

      • anon

        So glad we put 20% down on our first place. It’s tough at the time, but between the equity and the lack of PMI, it really sets you up to be in a better financial position down the road.

      • anon too

        We put 20% down on our home that we bought in MV last summer. Offers with less money down aren’t competitive. This market is INSANE. We keep finding new and exciting (expensive) ways our nearly $1m tri-level townhome with fewer than 1300 sq ft was built poorly and with cheap materials. And we had to have a pre-approved (not pre-qualified) loan, no contingencies of course, and close in 18 days to beat the many all cash offers around here. And we’re pulling in $350k+ as a household and looking at terrible public schools and wishing we could afford a home with fewer stairs with our toddler but knowing that we just cannot afford a $2m house.

        • Anonymous

          How is it that an area in which only rich people can buy is full of terrible schools? I know it happens, but I’ve never understood it. Surely the schools are full of rich children and they have plenty of money coming in from such a large tax base.

          • anon too

            The actually rich kids go to private school. These communities didn’t used to be full of new money and white collar professionals. There’s a large swath of rental apartments with children qualifying for free lunch and are English language learners, which I hate saying because I went to an urban public school my entire childhood. California also has Prop 13, which basically completely de-funded public schools.

          • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

            anon too is spot on. I went to crappy, urban public schools K-12. I was one of the ESL students she mentions who qualified for free lunch (and breakfast) and at best lived in small apartments. And my high school was in a fairly nice neighborhood, surrounded by very nice homes, and across the street from a well-regarded private girls school.

          • Anonymous

            Well, to be fair, the Palo Alto public high schools are both exceptional, as are the Menlo-Atherton schools, so it’s not true that all the rich kids go to private school. Atherton and Menlo Park don’t really have rentals, but Palo Alto certainly does. I guess the Palo Alto rentals attract more affluent people because they’re more expensive. But as a bay area local, I do find it a bit puzzling why the Mountain View schools are bad (though I don’t know that I’d say they’re “terrible” – I’ve heard from friends that they’re ok and it looks like some of them at least have good ratings on GreatSchools).

          • anon too

            If you can afford to buy into MP or PA at this point in time, you’re rich. We had a $1.1m budget and couldn’t get anywhere in MP or PA or Los Altos. Atherton HAHAHAHAHA.

            PA rentals attract more affluent people because PA schools are great. Same with Menlo.

            MV does have a few good public schools, particularly in the areas by Los Altos; some MV neighborhoods actually go to Los Altos schools. The area of MV I was able to afford has terrible schools.

      • Anonymous

        Have you bought in the bay area? Many if not most properties go for all cash. Anything less than 20% down and they would just laugh at you. It’s not a serious offer.

    • KinCA

      It’s a first-world problem for sure, but it’s definitely frustrating when you earn a good living and it will still take you YEARS to buy a place because of insane housing prices. A “starter home” in our area begins at 7 figures, and even though my husband & I have great jobs and are saving aggressively, it will still be a few years before we’ll be even close to buying. I’m also hoping that by the time we have our down payment together, housing prices will have come down a little bit here too.

      It’s very tempting to move at times (after watching House Hunters this morning, I realized we could buy FOUR nice houses in Charlotte, NC for what we’ll likely spend to buy our first house in CA). However, the weather is great, both of our families are here and both my husband and I work in finance, which is generally centered in HCOL areas. It is what it is.

      In the meantime, I try to focus on the positives of renting (not needing to pay for home repairs or improvements, the flexibility to move easily if we need to, etc.). But it is definitely frustrating at times.

      • padi

        House Hunters is super frustrating to watch. People don’t buy a perfectly nice house because wallpaper or a kitchen needs new appliances or some other thing that can be fixed in favor of some cheap looking new construction in a cookie cutter subdivision 20 miles out of town.

        House shopping in the bay area is: look at places $50-100k below price point and ask yourself if you could possibly live there and/or afford to do the necessary work. Then, if there isn’t anything horribly wrong (and I mean horribly), put in a as-few-contingencies-as-possible and over-asking offer at the offer deadline and pray/meditate/drink until you hear the decision or are asked to counter. Ugh.

    • BB

      Echoing the “Do you need to put 20% down?” question. We were pretty much exactly where you are, and we are in Boston so also a HCOL area. We did 15% and got hit with PMI, which is not great, but we have a place we will never grow out of, and PMI is still cheaper than throwing away another year on rent to save up to 20%.

      • Bonnie

        This. If you can’t do two mortgages, paying PMI is still better than paying rent. I paid PMI with my first house but it was still a great investment.

    • Anonymous

      Housing prices will fall again. I don’t think that the Bay Area will ever be “cheap,” but I think it’s unsustainably high right now. Maybe think of it this way: you are perfectly positioned to time the market and snap up something when prices dip.

      Have you broadened your Bay Area search? The East Bay may be a slightly easier market to get into. Walnut Creek is nice; Lamorinda is beautiful; Alameda is quaint and charming; Oakland is booming. Do any of those appeal?

      Finally: hang in there. It seems completely impossible until all of a sudden it happens. Good luck!

      • House Mouse

        Would love to live in East Bay, but I work in Mountain View and the bulk of jobs are in SF or along the Peninsula. Oakland to Mt View has got to be the worst commute of all time.

        But who knows… I have a manager who lives in Lafayette and makes it work, so if push comes to shove I’m sure I can make Oakland work. Maybe San Mateo might be an option as well.

        • anon too

          Yeah, worst commute of all time for sure. We live in MV and I work in PA. Going across a bridge to get to work was a non-starter when we were looking at homes. The people who live in Fremont (and bought a decade ago) all have Teslas or Leafs or Volts so they can use the carpool lane. Santa Clara maybe? You can actually buy a house there for what you might get for a small townhome in MV. There’s a ton of construction on Rengsdorff and El Camino and San Antonio so there may be a few more townhomes and condos available next year.

          I commuted from San Mateo to PA for four years. It was 45 mins, minimum. The Whipple to Embarcadero stretch of 101 is a crawl the whole way.

        • Anonymous

          I know someone who commutes from Gilroy to Palo Alto. She has an electric car and can use the carpool lane. It still seems brutal to me, but on the other hand there are nice homes there for a comparatively cheap $600-700K so might be worth it…

      • padi

        +1 to hanging in there. I think a 2-bed in the “Real Bay Area” is going to be within your reach in the next few years.

        What about downtown San Jose? I just bought a 2-bed condo within walking distance of Caltrain for <800k and I see alot of great 2-bed condos and townhomes selling near that price point.

        It is a great idea to have at least 20% down payment. When I sold my house this spring, I had to decide between two offers at the same price. Because the 1-month old appraisal was much lower than the offered price, I was genuinely worried that the sale would fall through if I went with the buyers with "only" 20% down instead of the ones with 30% down. That was the market this spring. With interest rates rising, I do think the next few years will be mostly flat for housing and not so crazy.

    • PNW Consultant

      I also am in the good job/crazy housing market boat. I bought a small condo and remodeled it. Had a 2 year ARM which gave me a deadline to sell it and buy my house. Made enough from the sale of the condo to buy a house a bit out into the suburbs where prices were (marginally) saner. You may want to look at something smaller where you can make the payments. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you can tell yourself it’s like a longer term lease that comes with equity at the end.

    • Anonymous

      Is the 1br availability better? I understand wanting some rental income to lower your own share of the mortgage, but if you’re really wanting to buy sooner than later, perhaps consider buying a 1br now and acquiring a separate 1br later to serve as your rental unit. I know the the purchase price of a separate unit will be a bigger jump than the price jump from a 1br to a 2br, but you’d also make more in rental income on a standalone unit–and you’d also get the financial benefits of owning your own unit sooner. It may still be slightly worse off than your current plan, but the emotional benefit of buying sooner might be enough to tip the scales (which of course is something only you can decide).

  3. buffybot

    Does anyone in NYC have a recommendation for a tax advisor? I’m looking for someone who can help us prepare our taxes, but also provide some advice re: tax planning. Currently married DINK, contemplating the possibility of buying real estate, one of us has massive student loans (wheeee law school) and husband has stock options in his sort-of-a-startup that we are considering exercising, etc….so the past strategy of TurboTax won’t really cut it this year and we’d love to talk to someone who knows what they’re doing.

    Also…anyone have a sense of the price tag for this kind of service?

    • christineispink

      (are you me?) – hoping someone will respond b/c i’m in a very similar situation.

      • NYC tech

        Me three. Especially if someone on the site IS a tax advisor – love giving my business to smart, ambitious women.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Me 4. It might be possible for us to do it ourselves but I’d be more comfortable with a professional this year.

    • Ellen

      So many of us need good tax advisors. That means finding a good man who is reliable and willing to help us without fleecing us. My dad does all of the tax advising for me, but constantly hopes that I will find a guy very soon to marry so that he can take that job from my dad and my dad will not be bothered anymore with my tax issues. FOOEY b/c that’s what men are for. He is not going to fob me off on a schlub just to get out of doeing a little tax work!

      I think if all of us get together we should be able to find a few guys that can handle all of this tax work for us. YAY!

    • AZCPA

      This is exactly what I do for a living, but nowhere near NY. Many of my clients are not local to me and we work together via phone, email, and text, but if this is your first time working with a professional, you may prefer meeting in person with someone in your area.

      As far as pricing, like many other services, fees will vary greatly depending on the market you live in, as well as the size of the firm you choose and how much consulting/planning time you need. An engagement like buffybot describes with tax prep and moderate consulting can be as little as $1,500 or as much as $5,000 at my firm, but will likely be much pricier with an NYC based professional.

      • NYC tech

        In theory, I love the idea of working remotely. But can an out-of-state firm handle New York city and state tax preparation and planning? Honest question, because I have no idea. If this is a realistic option, then AZCPA should leave an email in case anyone from this thread wants to get in touch.

        • Rn turned Acct

          Lots of accountants deal with state and local taxes from different geographical areas than their own. Personally in the past week I’ve prepared a California partnership return, a NYC-based individual, a NH corporation (requires to file in several other states as far away as UT), an expat individual living in France, and a couple of partnerships based in NY — and I’m in Boston. In today’s market, accountants need more and more experience and knowledge about more and more territories, and it’s becoming much less important / necessary to use an in-state CPA unless a client just prefers face-to-face interaction. I can’t speak for AZ of course, just want to let everyone know that you can expand your search for a CPA beyond state lines :)

  4. Elisa

    I gave this exact journal to my husband a few years ago and found the quality to be top-notch and he LOVED it!

  5. Cayman Islands Q

    Super obscure request: does anyone know of a reputable cayman island hot air balloon provider? Hard to tell from what you find on the internet.

    Less obscure request: what is a fun memorable thing to do in the cayman islands? Friends headed there for honeymoon and I am trying to think of an experience gift.

    • buffybot

      Hmmm…”Fun, memorable things to do in the Caymans” — establish some kind of limited liability tax shelter structure, reap financial benefits?

      If that’s not a sign that corporate lawyer brain has taken over, I don’t know what is….

      • ITDS

        I’ve always thought the cruise lines should offer this as an excursion for Grand Cayman. Sit in a hotel conference room and have pastries and coffee while they make their presentations, then fill out the forms to off-shore your accounts. It should include a voucher for a nice lunch at the hotel.

  6. Work Question

    Just wondering how many people here really like their job? Like, actually look forward to going to work on Mondays? What part of your job is it that you like? I used to have a job I liked for social reasons but I didn’t like the work… Now I have a job with work I like but I find the social aspect lacking, and I almost think I preferred it the other way around. Obviously a good balance would be ideal, but I’m wondering how common this is? Right now I just power through but I’m so scared of the long game. Like, I have another 30 years of this? That’s truly terrifying. It’s not like I hate my job or anything, but every Sunday night I just want it to be Friday night again, and every weekday morning I just look forward to the work day being over…. And all of a sudden I’ve started dreaming about being a SAH mom, which is never something I remotely pictured for myself. Thoughts? Experiences?

    • Anonymous

      People who love their job and can’t wait to get back to work on Monday are the exception, not the rule.

    • TO Lawyer

      I am in the same boat (except minus the wanting to be a SAHM). I like my job enough and I like the work and the people I work with but I wish it was always the weekend.

      I just figured that was normal.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t like my job at all. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not objectively terrible and I’m very grateful to both have a job and one that pays in the “overachieving chick” category. But there’s nothing I find fulfilling or enjoyable about the work or the people, and I’d drop it in a hot second if I didn’t need the money.

    • JJ

      I think I’ve met one person that I’ve ever worked with that truly looked forward to his job on Sunday night/Monday morning.

      I like my job. It’s interesting, intellectually stimulating, pays the bills, and I work with good people. Are they my best friends? Nope. But they’re pleasant and I wouldn’t mind grabbing a drink with them after work. Would I rather stay home if my lifestyle didn’t change without the money? In a heart beat. It’s just a job.

      • Baconpancakes

        There are reams of these people in the non-profit sector. I find them insufferable.

        • Baconpancakes

          Sorry, I meant the people who truly look forward to their job on Sunday night/Monday morning ie work all weekend anyway and truly, obnoxiously, passionately believe in their cause.

        • JJ

          I could believe it. The person I’m referring to is a rainmaker at a major law firm and spends his entire day networking, while associates do all his legal work. I’d love my job, too, in that case.

          • Anonymous

            Ha, to me that all-day networking gig sounds like my worst nightmare….I’d like practicing law a lot more if I could write briefs from home and never have to schmooze anyone ever again.

    • Betty

      I had a job I LOVED: clerking. I worked for an amazing jurist and my co-clerk grew to be one of my best friends. She was a fellow working mom with kids two years older than mine. I loved the work (variety! writing! researching! courtroom time!) and my colleagues. Then, I hit the threshold for how long I could clerk and moved into the private sector. I went from working to support the greater good with amazing colleagues to… well, not supporting the greater good. I just mentioned this on the moms site: now I am the only working/professional mom among my cohort and it is lonely. And I dream of being a SAHM too. Le sigh. I told myself today that I am going to put a time limit on this venture and maybe go part-time.

      • Jen

        Just a note here–my judge had one permanent clerk who was a former term clerk. She was in a similar position to you and he hired her on when she wanted to start having her kids and feel fulfilled at work. This could be you if you want to do it badly enough to find a judge who wants this!

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

      I have said this before, but I work to earn a living so that I can enjoy life. I actually like my job completely fine, but it is not the center of my life.

    • Mpls

      In my experience, a great group of co-workers can make a so-so (maybe even bad) job better, but a great job can’t always make up for so-so (or bad) co-workers. So, yes, your co-workers can totally make the difference.

      • Baconpancakes

        I hated my job, was seriously considering quitting after 7 months, got transferred to a new team doing almost exactly the same work as before, fell in love with my amazing team, my fantastic boss, and stayed for another two years before I came to grad school. I really miss my team, actually, and we’re still in touch pretty regularly.

    • TBK

      I love my job. But then, I’ve only ever had one job I didn’t like. I love working. When I have a day off and I see the other people going to work, I often feel left out (and not “ha! You’re working and I get to stay home!” the way I think other people feel). I was a SAHM for a year and it was hell. I’m glad I was there for my twins for a year and it had incredible moments I cherish, but overall it was not for me. So it might be that people who love their jobs don’t so much have some perfect job but just are people who enjoy working. I love: putting on a suit or otherwise being dressed up; reading about interesting things; thinking through problems; talking about/strategizing about issues with co-workers; writing; answering questions (orally or in writing) that require thought and analysis and that flatter me by suggesting that I have valuable expertise or insight (simply by the fact that the person came to me with the question); working under deadline; working under deadline with a team all working on the same thing (this was more from my big law days, but it’s something I enjoyed and it was the reason that even crazy hours, late nights, and terrible travel still were enjoyable). I also get a lot of my self-worth from my work. That’s not always healthy and it’s something I’m working on, but I do think it makes me happier at work. Also I don’t think I’m unusual in that, as the mother of toddlers, I love going to work because wheeee I can go to the bathroom alone! I can talk on the phone! I can read an article! No one is pawing at me or whining at me or needing me to wipe some part of their body! But I think that’s typical when your children are very small.

      • SC

        I share many of your feelings about working. And after dealing with inconsolable crying for most of the day Sunday, I was looking forward to going to work on Monday morning. And then Monday afternoon I loved coming home to a happy, smiling, giggling baby after our nanny, who seems to enjoy her job, did a wonderful job caring for him all day.

    • NYNY

      I love my job!

      I’ve had two jobs that I’ve loved, and in both cases, it was a combination of two elements that made it “love” and not “like”:
      1) I’m doing new and exciting things, learning and growing all the time
      2) I have solid support from my boss and senior leadership

      I’m not a mom, SAH or otherwise, but I know that for me, it would be a terrible life choice, because while #1 would be true some of the time, #2 is impossible.

      • L in DC

        I like this characterization. I also love my job and for the same reasons listed by NYNY.

    • Anon For This

      I’ve only ever had one job that I genuinely enjoyed – a marketing position that I held right out of college (I got to skip up to a more ‘experienced’ role right after graduation because I had interned with the company for years while I was in school). I worked in that position for almost two years and loved both the people and the work I was doing, but ultimately left because it didn’t pay well and the upward mobility to make more money wasn’t really there.

      Now I’m in a totally different role at a new firm where I’m mid-level/senior-ish and making some real money, but it’s stressful and I don’t enjoy the work at all. I have three very close friends in my office, which helps, but if it wasn’t for them, I don’t think I would have lasted this long. My husband and I will likely have our first child in the next 18-24 months. I’m saving aggressively now because I’m seriously considering staying home for a bit when we have kids and then hopefully going back to work but finding something I enjoy again. My husband is one of those unicorns who enjoys his job (most of the time) and it fortunately pays well enough to allow us this flexibility, which we both appreciate.

      I do genuinely enjoy the sense of accomplishment I get from working, though. If there was a way for me to have that without the soul-crushing weekday morning dread and stress-induced insomnia that currently comes along with it, I’d be really happy.

    • August

      I have days when I cannot sleep properly because I cannot wait to go back to work that morning :-). But it is a rare occurrence now. Before a very bad experience at my work, I identified myself with my work. I loved it. I looked forward to go back to work on Monday mornings. I remember my husband asking me if I would do the same job if I won a big lottery, I answered that I would without hesitating for a fraction of a second. I used to think about work all the time. I am an engineer, I have problems half solved and I would think about them when cooking, eating, showering etc and would have things to try out next morning.

      Then reality set in, I was almost fired from my job because of my then manager’s incompetence. HR intervened and said he couldn’t fire me. I changed jobs within the company because I didn’t want to work for that manager anymore. Something was lost during that time. I just knew how it was like to get fired, how I could lose the very thing that I liked the most in minutes and how heart broken I was. Now I have an awesome manager, role with many opportunities, great team. I put in a solid day’s work, I work night and weekends if needed. But I don’t feel that same passion. I don’t think about work after I stop working.

      I think it has helped me to have a balanced approach to life. I am developing friendships now, I spend more time volunteering and trying out hobbies. I don’t think I will go as far as I wanted to go in my career when I started working. I don’t care for that either. Great if I can reach my goal, but my life will be great even if I don’t reach that goal.

    • Jen

      I love my job! I work in big law and adore being a lawyer (really). It has a lot to do with being challenged every day and having great coworkers who have become my friends. I can’t say I don’t always want more weekend (I do), but I truly love my job and never feel resentful that I am working unless it’s for a faux emergency or one that could have been avoided with better planning by someone other than me.

      I had another career first in which I did not feel fulfilled, so I have the benefit of that perspective to help me confirm that I am indeed happy doing what I do now.

      • Ems

        I think you hit the nail on the head. I had a job in a cause I was passionate about, but the reality of the job (teaching) was soul-crushing, left me broke, and frustrating (not because of the students, but because of the system! and the parents!). Sunday nights were truly awful and I dreaded Mondays.

        Now, in biglaw, I actually don’t mind Mondays and don’t have dread clouding my Sundays. The hours are long but the work has been interesting so far and the coworkers make all the difference.

    • a lawyer

      When I first started practicing law, over 30 years ago, I really liked my job, was excited to get up and go to work on Monday mornings, and did not mind working extremely long hours. (I loved my job as a federal district judicial law clerk!) Now, after many, many years, cases, defense lawyers, and clients, I’m about to retire and I am very much looking forward to it. Much of the reason for my relatively early retirement (age 58) is that I no longer enjoy the practice of law. There are other reasons as well, but if I really liked the practice of law, I would balance those out. I don’t hate it; there are things that are fun and rewarding, but they are much fewer and farther between and with many more unpleasant aspects than when I started. The stress of never truly getting away from clients, arbitrary deadlines, and never being “caught up,” is much greater than in the days before email and cell phones.

      I have thought about the job/life/fun issues a great deal over the last six months, and I think it is normal to prefer to be off work rather than working. A good work environment, a feeling of belonging, teamwork, comraderie, all go a long way towards making the job more pleasurable or at least tolerable, but still, it is “work,” and unless your whole life revolves around work, you are not going to prefer it to the rest of your life. As the saying goes, no one ever says on their death bed, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

    • Anon

      I dreamed of being a sahm until I was one. It’s really hard. My “hard” job is now easier than staying home. I have twins though and now work part time.

  7. Anon

    Is anyone else getting the United ad with sound? Anything I can do to prevent it playing music everytime I open this site? Thanks!

  8. Anoooooooon

    I have been job searching since February. I have been working on trying to get pregnant since July. I have succeeded in finding a new job (will start at a new law firm in the new year). I have not yet succeeded in getting pregnant. What do you think I do about trying to get pregnant now that I’m about to change jobs? I don’t think it matters, but if you do, I’m 30.

    • Anonymous

      When do you become eligible for paid maternity leave? Personally, I’d figure out that date, work back 9 months, and start trying then. Because I can’t afford to not get paid.

      • Anoooooooon

        I’m honestly not sure because I’ve avoided that (very important) question like the plague. I would rather wait for paid leave (money is better than no money!), but I’m honestly more concerned about things looking bad career-wise than I am about taking the financial hit. I’m a mid-level lateral attorney, so the idea of waiting another 1-2 years to “prove myself” to my new firm doesn’t really appeal to me, but continuing to try right off the bat seems like it might not end well. My current thought is to not try but not try to prevent, and just kind of see what happens and then start trying again “for real” after 3-4 months (regardless of when mat leave kicks in). I’m scared to stop trying altogether because its already been taking longer than I expected, but going on mat leave 10 months into a new job seems crappy as well.

        • Anonymous

          It’s been 6 months, which is completely normal. Why would you have expected quicker? I do think going out on leave in under a year is frowned upon. Also, ask to see the policy.

          • Anoooooooon

            I haven’t started yet. I’ll get the policy when I start, if not before. I don’t want to ask for it sooner because that will scream “I’m planning a maternity leave and need to know the soonest possible moment for it!” I’d rather not send that message before even orientation.

          • Wildkitten

            You can ask to see the handbook on benefits without specifically asking about mat leave.

          • Meg Murry

            Ask to see the policy on benefits, and you can add “including the details on Life Insurance and Long and Short-Term Disability, because we need to decide if we are going to enroll through my husband’s office during open enrollment by the end of the week/month/whatever”. Maternity leave is often (but not always) covered by short term disability.

            Which is plausible, because we just had that happen in my office – we have LTD provided, and we can buy STD for ourselves or accident insurance plus a STD add on for our spouses.

            Or you could just ask about benefits in general – cost, what is included, how long the waiting period is before they kick in, etc. Totally normal to want to know before starting a new job (many people ask before accepting an offer) and if you get questioned just say you want to make sure your ducks are in a row for 2016.

        • a lawyer

          Probably not the answer you want to hear, but in my experience going out on maternity leave with less than a year at a job would definitely raise some eyebrows and, as you said, be crappy. Since you don’t know how you will feel during pregnancy, waiting even longer may be better. It is really hard to make a good impression when you are sick, day in and day out. A poor first impression is hard to recover from. On the other hand, if you wow the firm the first year and then have a hard pregnancy, you will already have built up good will and are much more likely to get all the slack you might need. Again, sorry, it is not the answer we would all like.

    • Anonymous

      I’d probably wait three months after starting the new job to start trying again. It’s not a long time to postpone trying and it means by the time you go out on maternity leave you will have been there a year, which should satisfy any requirements they have (but double check) and give you a chance to prove yourself. I think it also depends on how much you value your career vs. having a bio kid. If a bio kid is what you want most in life, don’t stop trying. If you really care about your career and it’s important to you to make partner, maybe considering pushing off trying until you’ve been there 6 months or a year (because I’m sure it’s hard to make the best impression in the first trimester of pregnancy).

      • TBK

        This. Which is more important — kid or partnership? Either answer is fine, but that’s really the question.

    • TTC Issues

      I will somewhat dissent and say don’t stop trying if having a bio kid somewhat soon is very important to you. Or at the least don’t actively prevent, as you suggested. As someone who thought she’d get pregnant quickly at age 29, but then took well over a year and extensive medical intervention, I am glad I didn’t wait any longer. But of course ymmv. Also unsolicited advice: I also don’t know exactly what you mean by “trying” but I would start tracking ovulation if you’re not, and if anything seems off, talk to your OB about it in a couple months. I would not recommend waiting the whole year that is sometimes recommended. There are some pretty simple tests out there for both partners that can help rule out issues and avoid wasting time.

      • Anoooooooon

        Yeah, when I say “trying” I meant actively tracking lots of stuff, I guess. I was doing that for a couple months and everything seemed to mostly fall in line with my expectations except that those stupid ovulation strip things didn’t work for me. But the other other things, including temp, seemed to indicate everything as expected. Which I guess is part of why I was confused when it didn’t happen – I tracked all the stuff, and things seemed ok enough, and then nada. Now, it might be stress or whatever (there’s a reason I was looking for a new job, after all…) and it might resolve itself quickly once I start at the new place, but my assumption at this point is that if I’m not tracking stuff its probably not going to happen, but hey – que sera, sera.

        • Anonymous

          It is within the range of normal for it to take a healthy couple a year to conceive.

          • Anoooooooon

            I never said it was outside the range of normal. I’m not asking when to go see a doctor, and I haven’t assumed I’m not healthy. I’m just trying to figure out how to handle this trying to conceive thing in conjunction with my new job, while acknowledging that these things can’t be precisely timed.. I know it could happen next month, or take another 6 months, or whatever. You’re reading too much into things.

        • JP

          It was harder than I thought it would be to take a two month break from TTC for work reasons after trying for 8 months (there’s a two month period when, due to my husbands job, I cannot be due). I ended up resenting his job tremendously, even though it was a rational decision we made together. Just something to keep in mind–maybe start with a month break to feel out the culture and learn more about maternity leave policies, and then reassess.

  9. Anonymous

    A friend of mine just got released from the hospital due to surgery. I’ve offered to cook her and her husband dinner. She is allergic to shellfish and doesnt eat pork. He is lactose intolerant. I was thinking about a casserole, since that’s easy to take over and heat/reheat. Suggestions?

    • lslsls

      What about chili? Easy to reheat or freeze if they need, and can customize it for many dietary restrictions. Plus just warm comfort food would make me happy after surgery.

    • shopping challenge

      I’m a lactose intolerant vegetarian. I love a good coconut curry, with lots of veggies in it. I do tofu but chicken would probably work well. The kitchn has a great recipe for chickpeas and greens braised in coconut milk, served over a baked sett potato. It’s delicious.

    • Anonymous

      Crustless quiche (use almond or coconut milk and lots of egg whites instead of cream or whatever people usually use to make it fluffy); shepherd’s pie (smashed potatoes instead of mashed, and sub out any other butter for ghee, oil, or coconut oil); enchiladas; stew (again, no butter).

        • Anon @3:37

          Lactose intolerant folks can have ghee (clarified butter) but not butter. Most folks in my family, including me, have severe dairy/lactose/casein intolerances – including to goat products, which the vast majority of lactose intolerant people can have – and we can all have ghee.

    • tesyaa

      Meatballs in sauce. Easy to make, and you can put it in an aluminum pan and they can freeze or reheat right away. Rice on the side.

      • Anonymous

        Make sure to read the breadcrumb package really carefully. Some sneak in dairy or dairy proteins.

        Further to this, OP should be careful about anything packaged. Sausage and other processed meats, soy products (like soyrizo), tomato sauces – stuff you would never expect to have dairy in it. If the product can be vegan and you have a couple choices in the store, go for the one that advertises as vegan.

  10. shopping challenge

    Years ago, I bought a jewel tone paisley pashmina size scarf in Turkey. I love the pattern and colors, but the fabric is cheap and it is falling apart. please help me find something comparable in a nice wool or even cashmere? dream holiday gift to myself.

    • Anonymous

      No ideas, but hoping someone has ideas because I have the exact same issue (I wonder since everyone in my group bought similar scarfs-same trip? Were you on a study abroad program, perhaps?)

  11. Emotional Labor

    I’ve been thinking about the concept of emotional labor a lot lately, especially at this time of year. I basically assumed I was exempt because I am a 20-something single woman who largely does whatever the heck I want. But several examples come to mind:

    1) Christmas gifts for my family. My brother is a college senior and every. damn. year. I buy the gifts for our parents (divorced) and other relative parties and he pays me back. This year, I told him he had to buy for two people, but still had to send him the info of what to get approximately, and when to send it, and I also forwarded him a coupon for one thing. And I still have no idea if he will even do it, though I have let go of the idea that it would be done as I would do it.

    2) Just got back from a weekend trip with a guy-friend to see a mutual friend who moved away. She has a bookshelf of photos in her apartment she mentioned wanting to update. We had a group photo taken of us all doing an outdoor activity together, so on the way back I mentioned to him we should get it printed and frame and send it to her. Andddddd then I realized it would basically all fall to me to do this. Which I guess is okay because it was my idea? But she hosted both of us. He sent me the photo and said he would split the cost with me.

    3) On the other hand, I have a second job which is mostly freelance-style support for a small business. I work in marketing and public relations for my day job. I had a meeting with the manager there recently and we had to write a newsletter, and I asked if he wanted me to do it or if he would like to do it. And he hemmed and hawed, but finally said he needed me to do it because he had to get better at delegating and opening himself up for other things (he mostly works one-on-one with clients, I manage all the communications things). What’s funny here is to me this just makes sense – I like this task, I am happy to do it and it is within my scope, but it seemed mentally hard for him to hand it over! And the gender dynamic was flipped.

    Basically, how do you make sure you are taking a fair burden of the mental/emotional part of tasks and life? How does that vary in your family, friends and work lives? Is it harder at this time of year with the holidays?

    • tesyaa

      I wouldn’t call this emotional labor. Getting prints made/framed and buying gifts is actual labor IMO.

    • Anonymous

      1). Stop. Just stop it. “Hey bro, since you aren’t 12 any more, you need to take care of your own gift buying.” You don’t have to send ideas, or links, or coupons. For heavens sake your parents raised him. If they get crap or no gifts it’s their own fault.

      2.) again, this is optional. If you want to go it, do it. If you resent doing it, just don’t.

      3.) this has nothing to do with anything? It’s not emotional labor. It is your job, and your boss struggles with delegating.

      I make sure I’m not carrying other people’s burdens by not picking them up.

      • OP

        I don’t resent doing it, really. But I am afraid I am setting bad precedent, I guess?

        • Senior Attorney

          If you don’t mind doing it, then it’s not a bad precedent. But you are most certainly setting a precedent.

          As others have said, though, this isn’t so much emotional labor as actual labor. And it seems like you care about it being done (e.g. the photo that was your idea) so in that case it seems fine for you to do it.

          On the brother thing, though, I’d totally tell him he’s on his own starting this year (or next, if this year is handled) and just do my own gifts. If he gets people gifts, he gets people gifts. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

    • TBK

      I do all this stuff in my marriage because my husband just doesn’t care. He would prefer not to exchange gifts for any occasion. He would definitely never do Christmas cards. He’s happy to look at our wedding album but would never put in the work to create an album if I hadn’t done it. And all of this is 100% okay because he doesn’t care. Why should he have to do work that he doesn’t care about? We don’t *have* to send Christmas cards, or have a wedding album, or any of these things. If you weren’t around, what would your brother do for your parents’ gifts? Nothing? A gift card? He might be happy that you’re buying real presents but it’s not worth the effort to him to do it himself. Maybe your parents wouldn’t be as happy but the extra bit of happiness they’d get might not be worth the extra work to him. Sure your friend hosted both you and guy friend, but if guy friend would have felt content with sending just a thank you email, then why should he put in the effort to print and frame and ship a photo?

      The problem I see is when women judge other women for not doing this work. For example when a MIL complains that her son and DIL don’t send enough photos of the grandkids and puts all the blame on the DIL because it’s “women’s” work. But short of that, I think people should only do the work they feel needs to be done.

      • Baconpancakes

        You do you, but if you care about it, shouldn’t your husband care about it? Or at least put in an amount of effort to make sure he’s lightening your load? Sure, you didn’t have to pick up the chores in the first place, but you did, so shouldn’t the things that become important to you become important to him?

        Isn’t that a big part of getting married?

        The OP’s situations are different, and she should definitely separate out the family gifts from her brother in future, but I’m not sure what to do about the friend photo situation.

        • NYNY

          I’m with TBK on this. All of these things are optional, so if one person in the relationship cares about it, that’s the person who does it. If we’re talking about mandatory chores, like laundry or dishes, that’s different. But nothing all that bad happens if you don’t send Christmas cards. You can opt out.

        • TBK

          Nope. Not in my book. Yes, my husband does things because they make me happy solely because they make me happy, and yes, that’s part of marriage. But I wouldn’t see that as lightening my load; I’d see that as giving me a gift. Lightening my load would be like if I was totally slammed at work and so he cooked dinner (normally my job) or picked up take-out so I could go upstairs and keep working. Or if I’d had a rough week and he offered to get up with the kids both weekend mornings (we usually each take a morning and let the other person sleep in). Those are things that HAVE to be done. No one HAS to have a wedding album.

          • Wildkitten

            Eh there are plenty of things that don’t *have* to be done but having them undone will stress me out, and so it lightens my load if someone else does them.

        • Bee

          I think the tension here is routine vs. one-off tasks. It’s not a universal rule that the person who cares more should always do the chore. If that were the case, I would have to do 100% of the housework because I care more about keeping the house (relatively) clean. FH does chores more often than he otherwise would because he cares about my comfort in our home.

          But that’s not really what TBK was talking about. Her examples were one-off things that her DH doesn’t care about. In that case, it’s fair for the person who cares more to take the task because doing so doesn’t dramatically shift the balance of work in the household.

          • Baconpancakes

            Generally, it would make sense that someone who wants one-off tasks done would do them, except that these examples (cards, gifts, decorations) benefit both parties. If I send cards to our mutual friends, our friends keep in touch. If I remember when his mother’s birthday is, and send a card signed by both of us, he gets points for being a thoughtful son. If I spend time figuring out the best layout for the living room and hanging up wreaths, my partner gets to live in a pleasant house instead of a place that looks like a college student is squatting there. If I plan the meals (not a “necessary” thing, because we could eat out or just have spaghetti over and over again, right?), we save money and both get to eat exciting meals. We’re not talking about remembering your own college friend’s birthdays or picking out the perfect pair of shoes or organizing your inbox – those things arguably only benefit you, and just because you care about the perfect pair of shoes doesn’t mean your husband should help you shop for them. On the other hand, household things and family things benefit everyone – and the problem is that the trend of emotional labor falling on women is that these “unnecessary” tasks are still a form of giving, stemming from the traditional labor divide of women “making” a home.

            Ideally, both parties should compromise – I want to send out holiday and birthday cards to our friends and family, he doesn’t care – maybe I drop the birthday cards, or only send them to my family, and in return, he helps me address the envelopes. He wants a pet, but I’m not really a pet person – it’s primarily his responsibility, but we can get the dog, and I’ll take care of it if it’s hungry or needs to go out because it was important to him to have a dog.

            But there are a lot of things are only important to one person that we expect both partners to put effort towards – like one partner’s career, or the other partner’s family relationships. Why should I be nice to his sister when I literally do not care whether she likes me or not? Because his family is important to me. Why should he agree to move across the country because my dream job is there, when I have a perfectly good job here? Because it will make me happy. It’s important to me that we send cards, and I feel stressed out when we don’t. It’s less important than my career, and I’ll take the lead, but if it’s important to me, I think it should be a consideration towards his behavior.

    • Ask yourself

      In your first two examples, socially, or whatever (not business) – what’s the worst that would happen if X didn’t happen the exact way you wanted, for whatever reason?
      If you and bro did not go in together – if you got a solo gift for each parent, and he got nothing for them, then what?
      If you and bro did not get a gift for each parent – then what?
      If your friend did not get a nice, framed picture – if she gets it and it stresses her out -then what?

      I see these 2 examples as different from the business example. Why are you putting so much work into these activities – what do you get out of it?

    • When life gives you lemons...

      You call these emotional tasks?

      You have no idea…..

      You have a good job, working at something you enjoy with people who respect you, and have time and energy for a second part-time job. Your finances are secure.

      You have a brother who is healthy, totally normal in behavior for his age (!) who you get along with.

      You have parents. Who are both living. Who don’t require your caregiving. Who you are going to see for the holidays.

      You have friends, who want to see you, who like to do things for each other, that you can afford to take the time and money to see ……

      You have no idea how lucky you are. No idea…

      • Anonymous

        Oh come on. People can both have problems and recognize they aren’t migrant slave labor. She never suggested this was the worst thing ever.

      • OP

        If I wanted to talk about the issues in my life, I would have posted about those. I didn’t.

        I was just trying to suss out some other things I am struggling with at this time of year. Then again, my best friend’s dad is dead, so I should never complain about my relationship with mine, right? Half of your post isn’t even true. You are the one who has “no idea.”

      • reading comprehension fairy

        Uhoh! Looks like you saw the word “emotional” and stopped there, completely failing to employ any reading comprehension or analytical skills! To summarize: OP described tasks she considers to be “emotional labor.” The term “emotional” does not mean “extremely difficult emotional problem.” It means “pertaining to emotions.” It seems like you might need to google the term “emotional labor,” because its meaning clearly eludes you (hint: it doesn’t mean “extremely difficult emotional task”). OP in no way whatsoever blew the magnitude of these issues out of proportion or implied that she considers herself unlucky in life.

        Figure out whatever it is that is bothering you and quit taking it out on other people.

      • Batgirl

        Ugh, what an obnoxious comment. You sound like a pretty sour lemon yourself.

    • Anonymous

      So it sounds like you enjoy giving your time and energy (and love and labor and money) to others, in the form of gifts. That’s great. It also sounds like you suddenly realize you are not being recharged/refilled with love/energy/time/money/gifts from those you give to or with. That’s okay. Sounds to me like you need more fulfilling relationships, where you can get your needs met. Not that there’s anything wrong with the ones you have now, but they’re not giving you what you need. All of it is okay. None of it is really “emotional labor” as others have pointed out.

      • OP

        It never really occurred to me to think of it that way. This is really the first year I’ve thought about it at all. Thanks for sharing.

    • Wildkitten

      I think for 1 and 2 if you inform them that you are delegating and it is 100% their responsibility to bring the task to completion and then you stop – full stop. That’s the way to get out of having to do things yourself.

    • Anonymous

      Do you think other people will make the wrong choices, so you have to decide what is best and then carry it through? In your first two scenarios, they are things you seemingly want to do. If you’re not into joint gifts, then don’t do them. You don’t have to do those things and maybe you have some expectation that they are nice/polite/necessary, but you should let go of those notions if they are causing you stress. If you suggest getting something framed, then yes, you’re going to have to follow through. But you don’t have to do it to begin with, and you’re allowed to do stuff on your own without needing your other friend to collaborate with you.

      I don’t really understand where you’re going with the third.

      • Wildkitten

        It sounds like if she did not do 1 and 2 she thinks they would not be done.

    • no.

      This is not emotional labor. This is micromanaging martyrdom. I have been in your shoes, where “Oh, I give the most thoughtful gifts ever” devolves into “Wait, why am I doing all the work,” > “I should stand up for myself and delegate it” > “YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT.”

      This is what it looks like from the flip side:

      You: “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if we did thisthisthisandthis???”
      Them: “Uh sure, sounds good” (Totally does not care either way)
      You: “Ok, so now that you’re on board, you need to do it this way with this coupon in this timeframe and WHY ISN’T IT DONE YET omg this is why I always have to do all the things in the first place!”
      Them: “Wait…what?”

      Please step away from the Pinterest and stop creating non-issues for yourself and others.

      • Anony

        Hahaha yes +1000 to this

        If I got resentful of my husband every time I undertook a DIY project or gift, and he didn’t pitch in and help, we would have gotten divorced about a month after we married.

        I just finished making a cute fabric wreath as a housewarming present for a couple who are friends of both of ours. At no time while making that wreath did I think, “Why should I be doing this? Why isn’t he helping??” Instead I was just glad he put up with our living room being temporarily covered in little scraps of fabric.

      • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

        +1,000,000

        If you are doing some DIY project, it should be because YOU want to do it and enjoy it (and have the time!). Not because society or Pinterest or some adult mean girls make you think you should. If you actually like doing something, you shouldn’t really want the help.

  12. Muppet

    Thought I’d point out that the phrase featured on the journal for this post – Not all those who wander are lost – is from the Lord of the Rings. It’s from a poem that starts “All that is gold does not glitter,” and has been one of my favorite poems ever since I first read the Tolkien trilogy as a child. It’s a lovely little poem, fits the story perfectly, and is a nice message for wandering souls anywhere.

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