Gift Idea: Ugg Boots

119 Comments

1. I think there were a few people who mentioned ordering Saatva mattresses this year. If you’re still reading, can you provide an update on if you like them or not? I need to get a new mattress and I think Saatva sounds good for what I want (specifically springs!), but would love a personalized rec. I currently have a Tuft and Needle and I think the quality is quite good, but it’s just way too firm. I’m considering the Plush Soft version of the Saatva.

   1. We bought the Saatva Luxury Firm for our teenager to use without a box spring on a slat roll foundation. She is lightweight and doesn’t like a hard mattress, and it’s plenty soft for her. I haven’t slept on it, but I did lie on it and it feels like a fancy hotel mattress. I think the Plush Soft would be too soft.

      The thicker option is extremely thick and extremely heavy–so heavy that it’s difficult to lift the corners and end to make the bed, even in the full size. When we replace the rest of the mattresses in the house, we’ll go with the thinner option.

   2. We ordered one some months ago and we got the luxury firm. It was a little firm but we got a foam topper and that made it just right.

   3. Thank you both – I just ordered! There was a promotion I wanted to catch and I opted for the Plush Soft since I REALLY need a soft one. If Senior Attorney found it just a tad too firm, then it would likely be too firm for me.

   4. I bought the firmest mattress. I like a firm mattress, but it was so firm that My hands fell asleep. Saatva said this was not uncommon for petite women, sent me a free topper to try and extended the free return period. I tried the topper, but ended up requesting a replacement for the middle firmness mattress. I am ok with it, not “love” but no complaints. And customer service was great, waived the shipping fee on the exchange and told me to keep the foam topper.

2. Isn’t your original purpose pretty close to the real original purpose? I read once that Uggs were for Australian surfers to wear to warm up their cold feet.

   I still wear them on frigid days… but the days of feeling so cute in my chunky Uggs are indeed left in approx. 2005. I like the sleeker styles they’ve come out with since, which are still warm but not quite as Bigfoot.

   1. I feel like you wear these with a messy bun, a hi-lo hem sweater, leggings, and a skinny scarf wrapped around like 6 times so….

      1. Hahahaa…that’s great….that’s exactly how you accessorize your Uggs:)

   2. Kat, only some UGGS are waterproof these days, but not the one you pictured, as that is just shearling lined swade, which is NOT waterproof. If you want to see the selection of WATERPROOF Uggs, look at this page on Zappos:

      https://www.zappos.com/waterproof-uggs?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=sem_g&utm_campaign=41541866&utm_term=kwd-76759706915228:loc-190&utm_content=__iv_c_76759683713727_w_kwd-76759706915228:loc-190_g_1228154545477699_n_s_e__h_98663_ii__p_2_d_c_vi__&zap_placement=&_ivgu=614521ea-728a-405b-ac15-75eccdcd7294

      With the old style schleppy Uggs, you can use them walking around your apartement to keep your feet warm like I do.

   3. i’m team uggs, they are so cozy and comfy, but not in this color that looks like it is for a 5 year old. there are so many colors and styles now to choose from.

      1. In fact, my kids (3,5,7) are getting these exact boots for Christmas ;)

   4. I think I had knockoffs, but man, Kat’s description of wearing them after swimming instead of bothering with socks hit me with a visceral high-school-swim-team memory.

      1. Me too!! I once ruined a pair of Costco knock-off uggs in high school by wearing them for 4 hours in the rain at a swim meet lol.

      2. I used to wear them home from my ballet class, back when I could go. Hope to pull them out for that purpose again in 2021!

         Although to be completely honest, mine are a knockoff from Costco, but still real sheepskin.

   5. This is the weirdest fashion blog post ever. Here’s an affiliate link to a product the blogger doesn’t like!

   6. Uggs definitely stopped being cool in 2006, but this Chicagoan will never not wear them in the winter. Warmth > looking cool

      1. I’ve bought Uggs slippers as gifts and they were a big hit!

         1. + 1, the slippers are great. I would pass on the original boot design!

3. Something to consider if you’re planning on moving ahead with a small wedding – will it be disappointing to you? Are you ACTUALLY okay with people declining? I thought this was kind of interesting. I know one of my friends was VERY hurt when people initially RSVPed yes and then no-showed, but that was before the pandemic.

   https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/17/style/weddings-covid-social-qs.html?surface=most-popular&fellback=false&req_id=274372821&algo=bandit-all-surfaces&variant=1_bandit-all-surfaces_daysback_4&imp_id=530770705

   1. Just don’t do it, man. Have a Zoom wedding or wait. It’s not worth it.

      1. I guess to you it wouldn’t have been. But for many of my friends it was important to be married before kids, we are in our late 30s, and it was wonderful and safe and meaningful to have tiny backyard weddings with 10 people in person and everyone else on zoom.

         1. What stops people from just getting married at the courthouse and having a big party later? I mean, it’s not hard to get married.

            1. Idk maybe they love their families and wanted their moms, dads, and siblings there? What’s the problem with that? Most places have allowed these types of gatherings over the summer. My friends who have done it had everyone just stay home 2 weeks before. Why is it then an issue?

            2. Life goes on, especially for people who want to get married before they start a family or build a life together. My SIL got married in a tiny, 4-person wedding, with her sister on a video call, 7 years ago. She planned to have a big party. But now they’ve had 2 kids, so she’s been pregnant or had a newborn 4 of those 7 years. They’ve had a year with financial issues, and a year with a pandemic. Pretty much the only year they could have had a party, they didn’t because my other SIL got married with a huge party, DH and I had a baby, and MIL and FIL both had surgeries scheduled around those events. MIL didn’t really have time or emotional energy to pull together another big party, particularly when first SIL was already married with a kid. Maybe they’ll have a 10-year anniversary party?

            3. When you say most places have allowed these kinds of gatherings — in some parts of the country allowed gatherings means, say, 10 people who can easily socially distance. In other parts of the country, allowed gatherings means a lot more. Just being “allowed” doesn’t mean responsible or safe. Florida and South Dakota, just to pick on two states, allow quite a lot of things that are quite stupid. So “my locale allowed it” is not particularly compelling without knowing the locale.

         2. Exactly this. If a wedding is more than a big party, if it means a lot to be married before having kids, and if your parents and one living grandma really want to see it, a lovely small ceremony plus a party later is the way to go.

         3. I’m not talking about your wonderful and safe 10 person wedding when it was safe to do so. I’m talking about now, when the pandemic is raging out of control. I’m all for marriage and Zoom weddings. Notsomuch in-person parties in a pandemic.

            1. Yeah, a 10-person wedding is not safe now in the vast majority of states.

      2. I’ve attended one Zoom wedding this year and it was so, so well done. The couple put a lot of planning and effort into the technical side. There were some pre-recorded videos, some in person speeches from the few family members they had in person, and it was just as touching as a wedding with everybody there in person. I do wish it could have been in person because knowing the couple it would have been a helluva party, but I was still so happy for them.

      3. I am with SA. It is incredibly rude and selfish to invite people to a wedding at all in these times. If being married is important to you, get married. If a party is important, have the party later.

         1. I agree. Even if you want a small 10 person wedding, you are forcing those closest to you to make a decision they probably don’t want to make. Much as the advice columnist says in the linked article.

   2. Ok so yes, pre Covid, saying yes and then not coming was extremely rude. No one needed to be ok with it.

      I have several friends who had small weddings this year and they all say they are thrilled.

      1. Oh yeah, it was incredibly rude (you would not believe the excuses my friend heard). I just felt bad that it really stung her so deeply on her special day.

   3. I did this. I’m glad we’re married, and our wedding day was a really joyful day for us. But I have mixed feelings about it. The last-minute drops did hurt, even though rationally I knew it was the right thing to do.

      1. What are you planning to do, though – address your hurt feelings with your friends? That’s what the woman in the article is apparently planning to do, or at least thinking of.

         1. That is a the worst bridezilla move I’ve ever heard of. “Addressing your hurt feelings” with people who didn’t want to risk their lives to attend your dangerous and possibly illegal wedding?

         2. Nothing. It was family, and they insisted on being invited, then dropped at the last minute, but it was the right thing for them. Sigh.

            1. I’m so sorry they hurt you, but that was absolutely not your fault.

   4. Ugh that was so cringe. Invitations are not summons and it’s so self absorbed to be disappointed that people are following public health orders during a GD pandemic.

   5. I don’t understand this at all. She went ahead with a wedding during a pandemic, when people are told to avoid gatherings, and is hurt that people decided not to attend? You can’t have it both ways! If your feelings are going to be hurt, probably best to wait. Or get married and have the party later.

      It’s a totally different situation than canceling on a wedding in Before Times.

      1. Why are you assuming the letter is from a woman and not a man?

   6. The bride in the NYT article is so self-absorbed I found it difficult to read. She says all the stuff about being covid safe but doesn’t actually mean it. I’m sure she fully expected the advice columnist to agree with her that her friends and family were rude.

      1. How do you know it is from the bride?

   7. This article pretty much sums up how I feel about in-person weddings at the moment:
      https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/12/the-meaning-of-the-texas-monthly-covid-weddings-story.html

      1. This is a really good article and not far off from how I feel as well. I skipped my cousin’s 100+ person wedding this summer and am still paying the price.

      2. I like this: “We postponed our planned September wedding until next year, for a date we’ll probably have to change a second time. The pandemic wasn’t over, and wouldn’t be for many months. We’re inconvenienced, disappointed, even a little depressed. But we can reschedule a wedding. We can’t resurrect anyone who dies because we decided to throw a plague party. If you think your wedding should be a celebration of love and community, then COVID-19 narrows your options. You either postpone, or you go the Zoom route. Less death, more joy.”

         The rest is chilling.

   8. My niece is getting married in a few weeks, and we had to RSVP over the weekend. I said no. My brother called me to ask if we would reconsider and told me what they are doing to stay safe. I told him that we couldn’t risk it, since I may be called into work for patient management to free up clinical staff to do direct patient care.

      Brother and SIL offered the 10 person wedding to the kids, with a blowout party once it’s safer. They said no and are having about 75-100 people. Not alcohol, no receiving line. But still a lot of people in an enclosed space.

      At any other time, I would happily be there celebrating. I just can’t do that right now. I have a bad feeling that it’s going to end up as a super spreader event.

      My niece gets it, but she is a little hurt. One of her bridesmaids had to back out, because she is a nursing student on clinical rotations. Her younger sister has to stay home from her fast food job for two weeks to be able to attend. If her manager hadn’t been able to accommodate that, she would have had to quit her job or not be in the wedding.

      If my niece says anything beyond “we’re sorry that you can’t be there” she may get to hear what the definitions are of privilege and entitlement.

      1. I went to a microwedding when cases were low and was told there’d be all kinds of precautions to stay safe. There were good intentions when I arrived, but everyone who carried their mask in ended up taking it off. Luckily it was all outside and I left after the ceremony because I think it would’ve gotten dangerous over dinner.

      2. Your niece is deeply self-absorbed. I’m sorry to say this because I know you love her, but there’s no other way to see this. She deserves to have very people show up. Perhaps it will be an important life lesson for her.

   9. I don’t understand why you’d put your loved ones in a position of having to decline in the first place. Have your very immediate family if you absolutely must, but why are you even thinking of inviting cousin Bertha from Memphis? I’ve seen a few weddings online over the summer that were clearly only immediate family — parents and siblings only (and only if local / no travel), outdoors, masked/socially distant, perhaps a champagne toast but certainly not a meal, from people who appear to be generally responsible during this pandemic overall. Some of these weddings appear to have been either zoomed in the moment or videotaped for later consumption by others. The bride in the NYT article seems incredibly self-centered. The only responsible thing to do is decline, so why set yourself up for it? It’s like asking cousin Bertha if she’d like to walk on broken glass and then being upset she says no thanks.

4. I have only one thing to do before I basically get to turn my brain off until Christmas and I just. can. not.

   1. I have a few things left. I am so close, yet mentally so far away.

      1. good way to say how I feel about work this week.

   2. Same. And it’s a giant project and I have just GOT to push through.

      1. I don’t want to say my brain is fried right now, but on first read I missed the just and saw “GOT” and immediately read as you were near the end of Game of Thrones. All I want to do right now is sit on a couch and veg TV.

      2. Same. I have worked an insane amount of hours this week driving to a project that ends tomorrow. But all the stuff I pushed to get this done still needs to be done next week. And oh god I just can’t….

   3. Ditto. I have to finalize a witness list and touch base with them (it’s a re-hearing) and i just. can’t.

   4. I’m waiting until tomorrow.

      Probably until tomorrow afternoon. ;)

5. Biglaw attorneys – are the guidelines for holiday gifts for secretaries still applicable this year — $100 per year of your tenure? I think so because it’s basically a form of compensation that is expected, right? I’ve hardly worked with my secretary since WFH, so it seems kind of wild that she is getting more from me for Christmas than everyone else in my life combined but… I think that’s how we still do it, right?

   1. It is a gift so you can do as you please, but in my firm I like to be generus to my secretary b/c she is just as hopeless as I am in finding a guy to marry her. I remember a few years ago when she was dating my associate who was having s-x with her, but when he never passed the bar, we had to let him go. She was so sad b/c he had to move home to Boston, and she went up there 2x trying to convince him to move back, but he could not get a job w/o being admitted, so they broke up. I gave her the money for the 2 train rides and she stayed with him and told me she tried to get pregenant so that he would marry her, but she came up empty on all counts. I think that in this holiday season, we should remember the less fortunate. I have totally cleaned out my clotheing closets and donated over a dozen suits to charity. I also sent 30 pairs of shoes to charity, nearly all still in the boxes with no wearing! I figure that if I become more fruegel, I can find a guy who will not see me as a spoiled girl and will marry me. Then, once I marry and move to a home, I can start rebuilding, all over again! YAY!!!

   2. Different poster but similar question — do I give less if I was out for 6 months maternity leave (and I hardly used her in the 3 months prior to leave since we went WFH).

   3. That would mean I would be giving my assistant a $700 Xmas gift, which I do not feel comfortable doing. I started at $150, and gradually worked up to $300, which I plan to stick with.

      1. Are you a BigLaw attorney?

   4. Yes. Part of this is also forward looking – give the gift now for goodwill next year when hopefully things will be more normal. Also, not sure how things are at your firm but mine cut all overtime which was a significant source of income for many assistants. So not giving the expected amount would be a financial kick to someone already down.

   5. That’s still the general rule. It’s far more than I spend on holiday gifts for anyone else in my life combined, too, but I don’t think of it as a holiday gift. I think of it as the portion of my annual bonus (which if you’re in BigLaw is VERY LARGE) that is allocated to my assistant. They don’t get bonuses at all, you get five or six figures… I’ve never minded paying 1% of that back to my assistant (this year it’s even less than 1% thanks to the extra bonuses).

      1. I’m at small law and two years ago got a huge bonus based on a formula that’s part of my comp package. This was only possible because of my assistant’s help. I asked the firm to also bonus her. They wouldn’t. I offered it to come out of my bonus. They wouldn’t. Then they expressly forbid me from providing cash to her myself out of my bonus because of the potential tax implications for the firm. I don’t see why law firms won’t recognize (with compensation, not a lunch) their hard work directly.

         While I think it is great that Big Law attorneys bonus their assistants out of their own pockets, it should really come from the firm.

      2. +1 this is basically the ‘bonus’ for the assistant. It’s so crazy that lawyers can get 5 digit bonuses and not realize that it, at least in part, is due to the hard work of support staff. Lawyers don’t earn their bonuses in a vacuum without help from others and acting as if they do is so dismissive of the very real contributions of support staff.

      3. What if you’re not getting your bonus? I’m not getting my 5 figure bonus this year because there simply was not enough work for me. As such, I did not use my secretary very much this year. Wondering if that is a factor?

   6. I’m a senior associate in BigLaw but have an odd set up. I have a pool of 6 secretaries that are responsible for about 36 people (depending on associate turnover). Most people give between $100 and $300 and across all the contributions it works out to about $700-$800 dollars per secretary. They also get a holiday bonus based on their tenure at the firm from the firm, so this is not in lieu of a firm bonus. The firm bonuses are not that big however, I’ve heard they range from about $500 to about $2000. I don’t know if this is fair but it has been the system since I joined the firm.

   7. A lot of staff has been on site this year Supporting WFH attorneys – coming into contact with others during their commute and in the office. Recognize and reward the sacrifice. Quite a number of firms laid off staff and increased the head count for those who remained. Reward the extra effort. It’s been a tough year everywhere. If it’s possible to be generous, be generous to your staff. The economic differences between an attorney and her paralegal or secretary is huge and these gifts and bonuses matter, especially in a year like this year. We talk a lot here about societal equity and making changes for a better future. Maybe this bonus seeds an emergency fund. Or pays off stressful medical bills. Or eases Covid-19 childcare expense burdens.

6. I’m WFH permanently and I wanted to get some cozy, warm shoes to wear around the house. I was looking at Muk Luks slippers, but then I thought I might treat myself to some Uggs. Do you wear them barefoot or with socks?

   1. Barefoot

   2. Barefoot. So worth it. I love love love love my Ugg Ansley slippers.

      And then to go out I replace them with my black Ugg boots unless it’s snowing or slushy because they aren’t really waterproof, more water resistant.

   3. Thanks! I guess I will treat myself to an early gift. It gets pretty cold where I live and I think some warm shoes would be a nice treat.

   4. I wear mine with socks because my feet get sweaty otherwise.

   5. I have Uggs and they are comfortable, but I could not wear them all day. There’s no support and they do make your feet very hot. That’s fine for a cold night after work, or first thing in the morning, but not ideal for all-day wear. I compromised on Minnetonka suede moccasins with fake-fur lining. The sole is thick and has enough arch support (for someone with no foot problems) to be comfortable to wear all day. That’s an inexpensive option.

7. Oh crap. Assistant gifts.

   Do I owe a gift to the following people? I do not have a regularly assigned assistant.

   – The assistant who normally does my expense receipts, except I’ve only had one expense this year, for a virtual conference.

   – The assistant who prepares quarterly gov’t filings for my department (of 3 people, I’m the most junior – this person and I used to work more closely together on the reports but don’t anymore).

   – The marketing assistant who sends out the weekly+ publications I write, often on short notice.

   How much are we doing and how are we delivering it? Visa gift card to their work email? $100 each?

   1. No nope nope. None of these people.

      1. +1

         We give the assistant for our teams a joint gift.

8. The pandemic is severely straining our relationship with DH’s extended family. His aunt texted the whole group (20+ people) and said they were going ahead and hosting Christmas because most of them had covid anyway. Aunt suggested signing up for getting tested first if you’re not sure. Still stupid, but the context is GALLING.

   Aunt’s older brother — my husband’s dad — died of Covid three weeks ago. Two days after he died, another one of the siblings hosted Thanksgiving and two more family members tested positive. They’re young and recovered. One even gave birth while Covid positive because THANKSGIVING. My FIL is still dead.

   My husband is livid at how disrespectful they’re being now, and have been throughout the pandemic. Numerous in-person baby showers, no masks. A wedding for 200 guests, masks if they make you feel more comfortable! Bachelorette parties. Vacations out of state. We haven’t attended any of the family events we’ve been invited to this year because a) heck no, it’s a pandemic; b) this whole side of the family has used remarkably bad judgment throughout the pandemic and we don’t trust them.

   People, seriously? Our whole family lost someone because of selfish idiots like you who have spread the virus wildly and freely because you refused to “stop living your lives.” So glad that you have recovered, but quit crying on your Facebook page about how sad you are and how unreal it seems.

   After the whole group chimed in enthusiastically about yay, Christmas! must be together! DH responded with one phrase, “Please don’t do this.” Now he’s the bad guy because he’s a fun-hater.

   We are so done with this branch of the family. I don’t think we can ever come back from what we’ve seen this year.

   1. I’m so sorry for your loss. They sound like absolutely horrendous people, full stop, and you have permission from this random Internet stranger to completely cut them out. These people clearly can’t handle the most minor inconvenience to literally save lives for their own family and friends and it’s completely despicable.

      1. Also, I CANNOT stand the extreme self-pity in that group. They get 12 people to attend a baby shower instead of the invited 15 and they moan about how it’s “so hard this year” and “everything’s different” and “I hate 2020.” B*tch please, you haven’t made a single sacrifice unless it was your last shred of human decency.

         1. “B*tch please, you haven’t made a single sacrifice unless it was your last shred of human decency.”

            That is hilarious in a really sad way.

   2. Block them all.

      “My father is dead because of behavior like this. Good bye”

      1. OP here. It effing sucks. Shouldn’t my DH be able to rely on his aunts and uncles for support during this hideous time? Yeah, he should. But he can’t, because they are selfish jerks who have shown that they just don’t care until it affects them. And even then, they apparently don’t.

         1. Oh, man. I’m so sorry, OP.

   3. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Their behavior is not OK by any definition. It’s honestly chilling and sociopathic.

      1. Thank you for saying this, because I honestly don’t get it. My DH is shaking and nearly in tears from anger. We feel like the crazy ones, when it should be the other way around.

         1. I can’t imagine the pregnant relative that took major COVID risks right before birth. That is so irresponsible as she now exposed so many medical staff. Did they allow her to hold her baby when the baby was born? Was she ill? It is all so terrible.

            1. I can’t imagine the pregnant relative that took major COVID risks right before birth. That is so irresponsible as she now exposed so many medical staff. Did they allow her to hold her baby when the baby was born? Was she ill? It is all so terrible.

         2. I agree with this poster that it’s sociopathic. You are absolutely not the crazy ones. Dealing with people like that is one big experiment in gaslighting and it’s even more awful to experience that abuse (yes, it is abusive) when you are dealing with the loss of a parent/parent-in-law. You and your DH are on the right side of human decency here. They are not. I’m so sorry.

   4. If there was a situation that called for going no contact with a group of people, it is this one.

   5. I am so sorry. We are in a similar situation with our family. MIL died of COVID and other family members don’t understand why we don’t want to get together. And we are the bad guys.

   6. I’m so sorry you’re both going through this. What a painful, unfair situation. The only advice I can give is to block these people. If that feels like a terrible thing to do, you can tell yourself you can always unblock them. Send their emails to a folder you never open, block their phone numbers, unfollow them on social media, etc. You do not owe them your attentions during all this. You owe yourself and your husband time and space to grieve without the complications of their buttheadery.

      If you want to be far classier than the situation calls for, you can always send them each a lovely holiday card that says “We’ll be observing a quiet holiday at home this year as we grieve the passing of of such a beloved member of the family. We wish you a healthy new year” before going no contact. The high ground is always full of fine stationary.

      The question of whether to tell these people to flock off forever isn’t one you or your husband need to answer right now. Y’all can work it out with a family therapist or without one sometime in 2021 or 2029 or never if you want.

      You’re in my thoughts this Christmas. I wish you both the very best during this terrible time.

      1. I would skip the card. I think no contact would be the healthier choice in this circumstance. I like what you said above: “You owe yourself and your husband time and space to grieve without the complications of their buttheadery.”

         This is the time when a husband and wife (or two adults in a relationship) should be on the same team. OP, I wish you both the best navigating this awful situation. Take care of yourself.

      2. Such good advice. Thank you. Dh and I have never done family therapy before, but we are headed in that direction because 2020 has been so. much. We are doing fine as a couple. It’s going to take a long, long time for me to forgive his extended family, let alone want to spend time with them again. I have so much anger and resentment in my heart right now. It is not good for my soul or psyche, and yet, that’s where I’m at. At the very least, I need to mute these people through the holidays.

      3. I shall remember this: “the high ground is always full of fine stationary.” Thanks!

         And OP – I am so, so sorry for your devastating loss. I wish you and your husband much peace in 2021.

   7. I wish I had advice for you but damn, that is rough. I have extended family like this too and honestly I am unsure how I will ever interact with them again when this is over. We are the descendants of Holocaust survivors, it’s shocking to see my family behave this way. I don’t think I can forgive them.

   8. i am so so so sorry. no wonder this country is such a hot mess – if people who have lost a close relative can’t curb their behavior, it seems like there is nothing that would stop this group. see below. someone who had covid, then tested negative for quite some time, got covid again and now fortunately has no symptoms, so it sounds like some level of immunity is built up, but that you can still get it again.

   9. These are evil, bad people. I’m so sorry.

   10. I’m so sorry. This is a tragic story that I could easily see repeating itself in one branch of my extended family. I have gone very low contact with them. For instance, we’re “friends” on various social media platforms, but I don’t follow or comment on their feed. I didn’t go fully no contact and I didn’t make an announcement about it, because in my family that’s just feeding the drama. It would make them dig in further. I just kind of faded from view.

       It’s important to maintain boundaries and not be sensitive about things like being called a fun-hater. (Or, oh god, vaguebooking you KNOW is about you.) The best course of action is to never see it if possible, act like you didn’t see it, and never engage with it if you do see it.

       Easier said than done, I know.

       What a terrible situation for your husband. Just remind him that NONE of this is his fault.

       Rise above, my dear. Rise above.

   11. I’m so sorry. It has been eye opening: someone in my family infected my 90yo mom and most still won’t wear masks. I LOVED my family. And now don’t want to see any of them because they almost killed Mom. WTF.

       OP, hang in there, and tell your spouse he’s not alone. I’m so sorry for his and your loss.

9. A few days back I mentioned my friend is positive a second time for COVID. Someone asked if he had tested negative in-between. I got more info. He works for a company that has several group homes. He is tested every two weeks. He was positive and moderately sick in May. He tested negative until last week when he tested positive again, asymptomatically. His co-worker who is now sick was also positive. Friend has had subsequent tests every couple of days and is still positive with no symptoms so it wasn’t a false positive. He will be allowed back at work as soon as he tests negative as he is asymptomatic.

   For the person that asked about whether he had negative tests between the positives, he had.

   1. Wow! I had heard that immunity was probably a thing for 3 months, max. The good news is that the antibodies produced by the vaccine are way higher than those from getting COVID.

   2. I’m the person who asked and thank you for following up. I will share this with my mom who had covid in April and is thankfully fine but I worry could get it again. I’m glad your coworker is doing ok and I’m also glad to hear that his company was taking proper precautions and testing everyone.

      1. Sorry, friend not coworker.

      2. What’s also interesting is his wife had it the first time too. She is testing negative this time. Their kids (including a newborn) didn’t catch it the first time but the grandparents were mostly caring for the kids while the parents hid out in their bedroom together. I don’t know if they have tested the kids this time but they are quarantining them.

10. Late 30s, sensitive skin, roseacia on cheeks, finding that my skin isn’t shedding like it used to (if that is the right word). For example, I always look super dry and flaky on my face and scalp (nowhere else) but underneath that, the skin is not dry. I’ve been using a washcloth to rub when I’m in the shower, but is there something to make this problem stop? Lotion doesn’t seem to help as the skin underneath isn’t dry.

    On a big budget, income cut down to under 30k this year due to covid, so luxury is not an option, but neither is looking gross on camera!

    Thanks!

    1. Yup, cell turnover slows as you age. The link posted this morning about chemical exfoliants is a good start to learn about AHAs and BHAs. Budget options are available from The Ordinary.

    2. Stop rubbing so hard and use a chemical exfoliant. You can find them at all price points. Look for something that says AHA or BHA and read the reviews. But stop scrubbing at your face. That will just make it worse.

    3. Stop the washcloth rubbing! I did that myself in lieu of the horrible St. Ives scrubs with microbeads and it made my skin almost as angry. Second the use of an AHA or BHA.

    4. Hi! You have posted about this several times. Stop rubbing your face with a washcloth! Please use a gentle cream cleanser like La Roche-Posay Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser, Face Wash for Normal to Dry Sensitive Skin, Oil-Free ($14) and a gentle lotion like CeraVe Moisturizing Cream for Normal to Dry Skin ($13) – both will make a huge difference!

    5. Fellow rosacea-person here.
       Your skin sounds dehydrated and flaky, which is different from dry and flaky.

       (Short version: dry needs fat, dehydrated needs water).

       For exfoliating my sensitive, dehydrated, rosacea-ridden skin, I like a simple BHA lotion. I use the 1 % BHA in the calm series from Paula’s choice. BHA is salisylic acid, which is often okay for rosacea.

       I have never seen AHAs recommended for rosacea (but I have seen warnings against).

       Your skin might not like acids, so be careful and test!

       Your face cream should probably be for dehydrated skin, based on your description.

       I have had to stop using soap and shampoo with SLS (sodium laureth sulfate) to avoid flaky, itchy scalp and skin. I use shampoo, soap and hand soap without SLS.

       Some SLS free products are expensive, but not all. It’s an ingredient worth avoiding.

    6. I recently switched nearly my entire routine over to COSRX and I’m really loving it. I’m almost 50, and my skin tends to dryness but also oily in the summer and usually a little congested (blackheads and other bumps).

       I won’t run down my whole routine for you, but I’d suggest finding a really gentle cleanser (not foamy!),then use the COSRX AHA/BHA Clarifying Treatment Toner, and their Galactomyces 95 Tone Balancing Essence and then maybe the Cerave Moisturizing Cream (or the Skin Renewing version with the purple label, if that’s not too heavy for you). I know that sounds like a lot, but their products are pretty inexpensive … you can get them on Amazon, Soko Glam or directly from their site.

       The toner will help exfoliate your skin really gently, without drying it out.

    7. I wonder if you’re reacting badly to your shampoo or skincare ingredients, in addition to having issues with exfoliation. The scalp issues make me wonder. What are you using for shampoo, face wash and moisturizer?

       First off, as a fellow rosacea-prone person, stop using a washcloth for exfoliation! It’s harder on your skin than you realize! I would NOT use this every night, but I have had some success with the Pixi Glow Tonic for exfoliation. I avoid my most rosacea-prone areas because glycolic acid is too much for the sensitive areas, but it works very well for my t-zone and around the jawline.

    8. I would specifically recommend The Ordinary’s lactic acid – its $6.80. I use it at nighttime 2 or 3 times a week and it’s made a huge difference for similar problems with my skin.

11. My experience with Ugg boots is that I can’t get them over my high arches to even try them on, and that they do not seem to be wide enough for my 10WW feet anyway. Nope.

12. Since I know she posted here under her own name, I wanted to share a link to an interview with one of our own, about resilience (link to follow to try to avoid m0d). Yay for one of our own being spotlighted!

    1. https://thriveglobal.com/stories/kryss-shane-of-thisiskryss-com-no-one-can-help-you-if-no-one-knows-whats-going-on/

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