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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Grosgrain-Trimmed Cady Blazer

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This grosgrain-trimmed blazer from Gucci is a classic for a reason. The cut is gorgeous, and everything from the printed silk lining to the gold buttons has a timeless, upscale, preppy look.

Of course you could wear this with a sheath dress or pencil skirt, but I’d love to see it dressed down a bit for a more casual office with some straight-leg jeans and a solid tee.

The blazer is $2,700 at Net-a-Porter and comes in Italian sizes 36–48.

Monse has a lower-priced option that's still a big splurge at $1,990; this blazer from Boss is $595.

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Sales of note for 3/10/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + 20% off
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale and select styles with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off everything + extra 20% off when you buy 3+ styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off all pants & sweaters; extra 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Flash sale until midday 3/14: $50 off every $200 – combineable with other offers, including 40% off one item and 30% off everything else

Sales of note for 3/10/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + 20% off
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale and select styles with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off everything + extra 20% off when you buy 3+ styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off all pants & sweaters; extra 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Flash sale until midday 3/14: $50 off every $200 – combineable with other offers, including 40% off one item and 30% off everything else

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

271 Comments

  1. I don’t love cooking but am decent at it. I’m trying to lose my covid weight gain (about 20 lbs), so I’m looking for a few go to easy/quick but healthy recipes that I could make ahead and eat leftovers throughout the week. (This is one step of many of my attempts to automate and simplify my life!). No dietary restrictions.

        1. Thank you. Don’t have the mental energy to search through her archives right now, and I don’t love her weekly meal plan.

          1. For recipes that are good for leftovers, look at her soups. Some of my favorites are the Broccoli Cheese soup, baked potato soup, mini turkey meatball vegetable soup, and chunky beef, cabbage and tomato soup. Other Skinnytaste favorites that reheat well- turkey meatloaf, Kalyn’s stuffed cabbage casserole, sloppy joe sweet potatoes, spaghetti squash lasagna, Turkey taco spaghetti squash boats, turkey stuffed bell peppers, and spinach ricotta quiche (I skip the crust).

    2. Vegetarian chili – long cook time but little hands on work and very filling. Serious Eats recipes always turn out well for me.

    3. My jam is to make grilled chicken breasts and eat them in various ways all week.

      – in salads
      – in wraps with lettuce and other veggies
      – chopped up and simmered in various sauces (masala, curry) with rice, a pita or naan (or leave out the bread entirely).
      – chopped up with cucumbers, carrots, onion, feta, olives and orzo (can leave out olives and orzo to make it more lean).

      Shredded chicken with salsa, corn & beans

      Turkey chili

      1. Similarly, you can make ground beef crumbles and use it for tacos, burritos, taco salads, or similar. I love “lunch in a bowl” consisting of a protein like shredded chicken or ground beef crumbles, along with brown rice (I buy the microwaveable precooked kind from Trader Joe’s but if you have a rice cooker you can do a batch in advance), salsa, beans, corn, greens, or whatever strikes my fancy.

          2. Oh my gosh Yes, I made stuffed poblano peppers with chorizo, vegetarian, cauliflower, garlic and onions with low fat cheese on top and it was fantastic.

        2. Similar – my laziest recipe is the “10 minute no-chop chili” recipe with ground turkey — make a double batch and throw it on salads, rice, quinoa, roasted sheet pan vegetables, etc.

    4. Do you have a grill? We tend to do a lot of mixed-meat grill-ups on Sunday and that gives us variety for the week. Yesterday we did Smitten Kitchen’s greek chicken recipe (so good!), SkinnyTaste’s skirt steak skewers and then a turkey kielbasa for good measure. While they grilled I threw a sheet pan in the oven with potato cubes, baby carrots and broccoli to roast.

    5. I am not a vegetarian but eat a ton of Cookie and Kate’s recipes. Her Thai red curry recipe is so good. I add chicken for my husband to many of them.

    7. What do you consider “healthy”? That has so many different meanings to different people, but with a sense of how you define it, you might get more suggestions. (E.g., Do you just mean low calorie?)

    8. In the fall I love a vat of soup/stew. Filing, easy to freeze in freezer bags for later, goes well with store bought bread.

      I also like to get a whole side of salmon, cooked at the grocery store. Eat with veggies, in a taco, over rice, with a salad, etc.

    10. Budget Bytes has pretty simple and flavorful stuff. There is even periodically a series about packing lunch.
      From what I understand the blogger used to work at Whole Foods so a lot of the ideas are ideal for batch cooking and make ahead.
      One easy thing I like is to make a grain bowl/ salad- beans, grain (farro or quinoa are my favorites), then veggies- cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, peppers, mango. Then put some kind of dressing on top- usually olive oil,red wine vinegar or lemon. I’ll throw in some massaged kale or arugula throughout the week.

    11. I like to do chicken thighs in the crock pot (seasoned however you want–barbecue sauce, salsa, curry, etc.), then eat over rice, in wraps, as sandwiches, on salad, etc. For lunch, I also like to buy a couple of bagged salads and then pick a protein (grilled chicken, deli turkey, edamame, etc.) It makes it easy. Soup is another favorite–chicken tortilla, minestrone, chicken noodle, chicken and wild rice, etc.

    12. I hate to say this but I just lost about 12 lbs of COVID weight due to weight watchers green plan. I did do healthy recipes cut down on calories but it just works for me. Got into all my clothing (except all jeans) post COVID. So, I’m working it. Mostly, my main issue is real sugar Pepsi’s and candy bars (milky ways, Reeses. . . ). . .

      Good luck to you a healthy approach is great. Two months prior to the WW I started swimming and that made me feel better/toned as well!

    1. This has strong rowing blazer vibes. This is a hard no for me (and I went to prep school and rowed there…)

    2. It might read very costume-y on me / fangirling something I think the female characters would wear on The Talented Mr. Ripley.

      Also, the actual Rowing Blazer company . . . who really wears that?

    1. What does your work from home setup look like? Do you use a company computer or your own computer? If it’s your own, did you install any software on it? If so, what type? Do you do all of your work on your own personal computer or do you remote in to a virtual desktop maintained by your workplace?

      1. I remote in via Company-issued Dell laptop. Technically I can access email without remote login.

        1. I wouldn’t be that concerned. It’s your work computer – do all of your fun stuff on your own personal laptop. They may not have the software in the article installed but any competent company would be monitoring network traffic and have security software running on your laptop. Typically it’s there for response and nobody is actively monitoring in real time. They absolutely can look at your laptop assuming it’s centrally managed, which it should be. But probably, nobody is doing it. If you’re curious I would perhaps make a list of the software in the article and browse through your computer looking for the corresponding process names or install files. But ultimately they can probably do those things already, just without the HR tattletale software installed.

          1. IT here. It can be really tracked and monitored as can “efficiency software” that allows aggregate or individual tracking to see if you are actual working.

    2. I would presume that my employer has access to all the data about what I do on my work computer. All of it, from when I log in to what time I open a particular program, if a program times out because of inactivity, etc., in addition to any internet usage.

      1. ^ This.
        Whether they routinely access it not, I would make the assumption. Because in the case of any legal action or serious situation, they could and will.

      2. +1 I operate under this assumption. I use their device and am usually on the VPN.

        The company also obviously has policies around misuse of company property (including laptops, cell phones, etc.) and about the use of electronic systems. Our policy explicitly provides that the company can access VM, email, computer files, etc., and that we should not expect privacy when using anything company owned or managed.

    3. Nobody has time to track you individually. Companies use aggregated stats at best. That’s where things like “more meetings in off hours,” and other remote work stats come from. It’s built into the MS suite.

    4. Compliance officer of a health tech company here. The answer is no. If you want to know if your computer has key logging, you’ll probably be frustrated and disappointed because there are a billion ways to hide it from an end user. There are some direct ways to try and find it (like combing through whatever you have running in the background), or symptoms of its presence (If you have a ton of issues with antivirus software updates, you may have a key logger installed). In general, even technically savvy users won’t find the key loggers if it’s been set up right, especially if you’re on a VPN/virtual machine. It’s very easy to make the software look innocuous or even essential. The best defense is a good offense. Always assume your camera is on, your microphone is on, and your activity is monitored. In practice, no business has time to review key log records unless there’s a specific reason to, so don’t make yourself a “security outlier” and you’ll be fine. Algorithms review employee activity and they ignore 99% of what they “see” until someone starts to stick out. Don’t look at your email, don’t watch YouTube, don’t shop online, and don’t look at anything you wouldn’t want to send your boss on the internet. Also if you connect your phone to the office network, your mobile activity is visible to your employer. Big brother is watching, but mostly he doesn’t care.

      2. I’m surprised to see you advise not to check email or shop online. Don’t most employers know that employees will do this (to a point) during work hours? Maybe I’m not being careful enough…

        1. I thought the same thing. I mean, my boss literally called me into her office once to get my opinion on a pair of Fleuvogs.

        2. You’re right that everyone does it, I personally just hate the idea of being monitored by someone like me. Browser history is weirdly intimate, and reading people’s personal emails is so awkward when I see them later in the lunch room. It’s not so much whether a worker occasionally look up suit jackets on JCrew factory on the clock. Everybody does that. The problem is that some people do that 5 or 6 hours a day, or are purchasing very “personal” toys or services, and the evidence of their online shopping addiction (or other addictions) is right there in the logs. It’s easy to blur the line when alone in your office. I recommend doing all personal business— even personal email— on a phone that’s using your data and not connected to WiFi.

          1. Banking here. Not only tracked individually but some roles have up to 20pct of email flagged for supervisor review. There a lexicon for flagging the test is random. I can track nearly everything you do. And have for performance issues fraud and other reasons as HR needed.

            I’m shocked people are so cavalier about this. Use your phone or iwn tablet.

    5. Don’t ask, you’ll look paranoid, and likely someone who would have never thought to look at your computer usage will want to take a look, because why would you be asking if you’re not worried about something? Unless you’re being egregiously irresponsible – like you’re sleeping all day instead of working – keep doing what you’re doing. If someone has a problem with something, they’ll let you know.

      I’ve been involved in investigations where we looked at people’s computer activity. It’s generally only worth it to do so if someone is a problem; i.e., their behavior sucks or they’re not getting work done. (I have also had to do it at the request of law enforcement when they were investigating a stalking claim; that was not fun.) If someone is a good performer and not causing headaches for anyone, in general there’s not going to be a lot of motivation to spy on their activity. That being said, you should absolutely assume any data you enter into the computer, any file transfers, any emails you send, etc. etc. can be retrieved by the company (even if they aren’t monitored in real-time) if the need arises. Don’t type anything into the computer you don’t want someone to read later; ditto with keeping your browser history clean and moving files in and out of the computer via wireless file transfer or even a USB drive.

    6. I had an experience where I logged into VPN and saw a weird screen capture of my desktop. I had been working on organizing an outing for my local bar association. Someone that must have triggered the program/whoever was surveying my work computer to take a screenshot. The only reason I caught it was because that person/software forgot to exit out of my computer.

  4. We have an abundance of apples due to some aggressive apple picking.

    Ideas for ways to use them up in breakfast foods? I have desserts and applesauce plans, but looking for other meals in which to use them up.

    2. Apple noodle kugel is great. Making apple butter uses up a lot. Apple muffins are nice.

    3. You could do some kind of baked oatmeal with apples. Or make a batch of steel cut oats and mix in some apples.

    4. Smitten Kitchen has a good apple pancake recipe where you mix grated apples into your usual pancake batter. You could also add them to a breakfast smoothie or try apple muffins.

    5. You can use grated apples in lots of things, like baked goods (muffins, pancakes, cakes) and slaws. You could also make apple butter and use it throughout the year.

        1. +2 to apple butter. It’s a staple in our house as we have an enthusiastic apple tree.

        2. If you want a quick dinner that uses the apple butter, I put a 2-pound center cut pork loin, rubbed with 1 T. brown sugar and 1 T. salt, in the slow cooker. Top it with one sliced onion and 1 t. minced garlic. Mix 1 cup apple juice or cider with 1/2 cup apple butter ,1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves and 3 T. flour. Cover and cook on high in the slow cooker for about 7 hours. In the last hour, ladle out 1 cup of the cooking liquid and transfer to a small saucepan. (Skim off fat if necessary.) Thicken the liquid with instant blending flour and use as gravy. The pork will cut in shards like pot roast. It’s great with mashed potatoes.

    6. Smittenkitchen has some great whole wheat apple muffins. Not breakfast, but one of my favorite fall recipes is “Skillet Pork Chops with Apples and Onions” on myrecipes. It has a mustard bourbon cream sauce that is amazing and it’s actually very low effort. Also would suggest sliced apples in salads, and then apples and peanut butter or apples and cheese as snacks. I also like sliced apple in sandwiches – either turkey or brie, or maybe both!

    7. I’ll eat apple crisp for breakfast when I have a lot of apples to use up. I make a healthier version by going light on the sugar and heavier on the oats and nuts. I often make it vegan by using oil instead of butter and a little oat milk to help moisten the oat/nut/brown sugar/oat flour topping. It’s really not that different than baked oatmeal nutritionally, but has more fruit and I like the texture much better.

    8. I’m just glad to know I’m not the only one who’s done this. The first time we went apple picking we picked … fourteen pounds of apples. For two people. My wife ended up taking a bunch of them to work where they were happily devoured.

    9. Skinnytaste crockpot apple butter. On croissants for breakfast.

      Swiss bircher muesli (similar to overnight oats) uses grated apples.

      Also, if you have the freezer space, you can go ahead and peel and dice the apples and then freeze them wrapped in freezer paper and in an airtight plastic bag. Then you can pull them out in the middle of winter to make more applesauce or desserts.

    10. Make applesauce, put it in or meal before you cook it in the microwave. Tastes like an apple pie!

    12. Just cut and baked at 350-375 until soft. You can peel if you prefer. We then throw into everything- yogurt, oatmeal, ice cream, salads, etc. it freezes well too if you make a big batch.

    13. Mark Bittman’s VB6 cokbook had a great recipe for apple stir fry that you can eat over waffles or pancakes. The idea was a little strange to me, but it was actually really tasty.
      Basically dice apples and sautee in coconut oil with some walnuts. You want them golden brown, but not mushy.

      1. Here’s a link- it reads a little more complicated than i remember but it’s super tasty.

    15. I made Sally’s apple bundt cake (minus the glaze) and will be eating it for breakfast every day this week :) Despite having the word cake in the name it’s really not that sweet.

    16. Dehydrate apple slices and keep for later, to have on oatmeal, granola, yogurt etc.

    17. My son loves apple slices with peanut butter, honey and granola on them for breakfast.

  5. The blazer is fine but the model in the pic looks like a rich lady from the 90s. Nagl.

    2. Hmm I think this is a good look. It’s fun and preppy. Obviously not for important things only for casual.

  6. I need some inspiration for a family desk. Needs to function as my work space when WFH, but also our space for all our home/family stuff: bills, checkbooks, cards and stamps, forms, etc.

    1. Lots of drawers or filing cabinets with clear labels and/or divider baskets so you don’t end up with piles all over the desk. I also got a hanging wall basket thing to keep mail organized (to deal with, to file, to send) and that has been hugely helpful.

    2. I wonder about some sort of desk with a hutch, or a flat surface with some storage that went upward, little pouches or magnetic storage? I’d be annoyed if the actual work surface became the dumping ground for all the family stuff.

      1. That’s what I’m leaning toward- would love links to any specific products if anyone has something they love!

    3. I’m a fan of old secretary desks (but updated to be usable in the modern era) because you can close away the clutter and there’s usually ample storage.

      1. I love secretary desks but they’re very hard to find (or at least that was my experience).

      2. I have an old secretary desk that was my grandmother’s, and it has been great. Enough room to work, lots of useful storage, and I can close it up when I don’t want to see the work to do lists. I would look for something similar second hand.

    4. I’d probably do desk with filing cabinet drawers on one side (preferably two) and then some vertical file holders on the desk itself. The home stuff you need less frequently goes in a drawer and then your work stuff can go in the other drawer. Same system for vertical file holders — one for work, one for home.

  7. does anyone know if there is an app where you can take a picture of the exterior of your home and then play around with paint colors to see what it would look like in different colors?

    1. Most paint companies have that kind of app, however, you’ll get the most accurate results by looking at painted samples of your colors in the lighting of your home. Sampleize is great for that during the tossing around ideas stage.

    2. I’ve had the most success driving around and looking at other houses that I like the colors of. Or looking on Houzz app for color combinations on my style of house. The apps I found to be cheesy.

    3. Sherwin Williams does. It’s fine as a starting point to narrow down a few general ideas, but I would not use it to make your final selections.

    4. Fun fact: our realtor knows the paint colors of half the local houses and can point to real life examples. Maybe something to ask about?

  8. I have hit a ceiling professionally with my current company and have been aggressively applying for Director/VP level positions in my field. I’ve been with my current company a long time, so the idea of a switch is unnerving – but I am looking forward to career advancement. I’m currently interviewing at various stages for new positions. Wish me luck!

    Does anyone have advice on interviewing at this level?

    1. Are you a director/VP now looking to lateral and then grow at a new org, or a manager/senior manager looking to move up?

        1. you’ll want to show very specific examples of moving from tactical to more strategic functions. As a manager, you are generally more of a 6-12 month timeframe executor. Director level is more of a 12-18 month time horizon and your VP (assuming this is the department head) is present–> 24 months.

          Managing managers is also a lot about the department specific outcomes. How have you helped teams achieve this?

          Depending on your role/industry, you may also be expected to show a broad knowledge of your industry as opposed to your daily function. For example, if you are an operational manager, how does what your team does play into the larger issues that the client has? How does your team tie into other depts like sales, marketing, IT, whatever, strategically?

    2. At this level, it starts to be as much about fit as about qualifications. Ask questions to make sure they’re the right fit for you, as much as you are for them.

      That would include (for me) ‘Why is this role currently open? Will I be working with the person who previously held it or have they moved on?’ and things like, ‘One question I get asked when I was interviewing candidates was ‘what does an average day look like’. Well, there are rarely ‘average’ days, so… can you give me an idea of what work looked like on last Thursday?’

      1. to add to this, at this level you also have to get a long well with other departments. If you are interviewing for a VP role, make sure you meet your counterparts in other departments and make sure they are not going to be a complete headache to work with (sometimes you can tell after one conversation). If it’s a new role being created, see if you can suss out who may feel that their toes are being stepped on. if it’s a backfill, what has been piling up for this role while the rec sat empty? What expectations are already set for the new hire’s function (did the exiting person create a product roadmap you’ll be stuck executing on?)

        Does the role have budgetary responsibility? Has the budget been set for 2022 already? How is the budget determined?

    3. Oh, also- you may know this but as you move into these roles, particularly director –> VP, you should know that in many cases your base comp won’t change much. I made $120k with a 5% bonus as a manager, 130k with a 30% bonus as a director and $150k with a 50% bonus as a new VP (this eventually grew to $200k with a 50% bonus over time). Husband is a VP making $220k with a 30% bonus.

      1. This is good to know – I’m making around $130k as a director, also looking to move up into VP/AVP roles and have been putting $160k down in “what are your salary expectations for this role,” because that’s how much I feel like realistically I’d need to make in order to bother changing jobs. But maybe I’m being overly optimistic.

        1. Completely and totally role/industry specific. I would just know that whatever the base salary is, know as you progress up in the org the base changes, often (but not always! know your industry!) it becomes much less and it becomes a lot more bonus based.

          Making an all-in comp of ~200k is about right for the sort of role that is director/VP (as opposed to VP wiht a bunch of directors under). $250 is closer for a VP, can be higher.

    4. The jump from manager/sr manager to director/VP is one of the “big filters” in most organizations. It’s the second hardest jump to make after the individual contributor to manager one. In my experience, there are very few VPs that want to move someone from manager to director unless they have big wins in their resume or a clear history of over performance at their level. Likewise, c-suites don’t like to move directors to VP until the directors can point to their achievements but now with big dollar signs attached (how many millions did you make or save the business last year versus your peers?). Point to your achievements and not your potential at this level— you need to demonstrate that you will be a perfect fit and cause your superiors minimal headaches. They won’t train or support you much at this level so you have to prove you can do the job on day one.

  9. Where do you all find in-house jobs? This past weekend I have decided that staying in biglaw (even though I am within 2 years of making partner) is probably not worth it. Long story but it ended with me yelling at my infant daughter because she would not stop crying and I needed to get a document out on a Sunday afternoon (after 4 weeks of 80+ billables).
    I need to start my search to at least make myself feel better. Where do you all start? I tried linkedin, indeed etc. but only found 2 potential leads (both posted months ago). Anywhere else I should check?

    1. goinhouse.com. You can set up email alerts for new jobs in your area, as well.

    2. ACC Jobline.

      Also, what type of law do you practice and how many years out are you?

        1. My org (very large US financial institution) is terrible about cross-posting jobs to other sites. If there are companies you’d be interested in, it’s worth directly checking the open positions on their websites. It’s annoying but I literally had to submit a formal request to get my vacancies posted to the ACC Jobline because there’s a cost.

        2. Are you in NY? If so, look at the big banks (Citi, JPM, GS, and Morgan Stanley). Even if there aren’t open roles that involve exactly what you do now, think about how those skills and knowledge would translate to their open roles.

    3. Everything is on LinkedIn, the trick is your search parameters – try one for counsel + your field (ie., product, employment, IP, etc.) and one for general counsel. Those should pull up most positions. If you’re in an area with only a few major employers, try the company website directly.

    4. LinkedIn, goinhouse, and ACC. Also if you have any industry groups you’re a part of or clients you’re close to that you can pass the word to. Don’t let on to anyone at your firm or who will tell people at your firm, no matter what message is sent about how that’s OK to do.

      2. Coming here to say this. There’s no reason to stay in biglaw (or anywhere else) if it’s not the right fit, but the first 12-18 months after returning from maternity leave are just so, so hard. Try to give yourself allowances for bad days and even bad weeks. I would bet you’re doing a really good job – as a mom and an attorney. Working FT with an infant is hard. Full stop. Don’t beat yourself up too much about getting overwhelmed in what sounds like an objectively overwhelming moment.

      3. No specific career advice (I’m not a lawyer) but just want to echo this. I yelled at my infant son at 4 a.m. one morning when he’d been up every hour on the hour all night, I had a big meeting at 8 a.m., and I knew I was going to have to get through that meeting and the remaining workday on no sleep. I felt more terrible about yelling “PLEASE JUST STOP F—ING CRYING” at him than I did running on no sleep, and felt terrible for several days afterward. Of course, he does not remember this (he was only four months old at the time) and is not emotionally scarred for life or anything. Or if he is, it’s because I refused to buy him the stuffed tiger he saw at the zoo when he was five, because it was $30 and he already had three stuffed tigers in his room at home. He remembers that incident vividly.

        1. There is a reason why “Go the @-#& to Sleep” was such a popular book.

          As a note from the future, my kids typically sleep until 7am everyday and my whole life is so much easier!

    7. Another funds lawyer here. I left my firm as a 7th year and while I can’t say I’ve never looked back, I also do not at all regret my choice. I’d leverage your network, set up alerts on job websites, possibly talk to some recruiters that are knowledgable in this area. Would you also consider a boutique firm or federal regulator? Options may depend on your geographic location (although I’ve noticed more postings recently that allow for permanent remote work).

    8. Just want to say, I screamed at my 1 year old one afternoon even when I was full time at home with him (and thus had no work stress). I hired a sitter that afternoon, called and cried to my husband when out on a walk, and felt guilty for days afterwards. Now the same 1 year old is 2.5, happy and doesn’t remember a thing (of course) ! Be gentle on yourself.

  10. I would love the group’s advice for how to dress for an upcoming event because I haven’t had to dress my full body in a professional manner in so long! I’m attending a day-long board meeting on Friday in a midwestern city. High will be around 80 on October 1. Can I wear sheer black tights with a dress? The org keeps the air conditioning on full blast, and I know I’ll freeze with bare legs. I just tried my dress pants on this morning, and my lower half is now a completely different shape than 18 months ago!

    1. Sheer black hose are, to me, extremely dated and old lady. I’d actually wear sheer nude hose, at least they are less noticeable.

    2. Knee high boots with the dress instead of tights. Sheer black would be ok if you are Black since they will be nude-for-you; I’m not personally a fan of sheer black tights for fairer skinned people. Or just wear opaque tights. But be prepared to feel uncomfortable in tights if you haven’t worn them in two years.

    3. Unfortunately I think wearing black tights when it’s 80 degrees out is going to look odd. Do you have time to run to Macy’s or similar and get new pants?

      1. Agree with this. Since you’re on the board already, I’d say you have a little more room to go outside strict professional dressing, too. Do you have any midi or maxi dresses you could make work so you get a little more warmth? A jumpsuit with a blazer? Dark jeans/dressy top and blazer? I’m in the anything but tights when it’s 80 out camp. Even overnight shipping if you can’t get to the mall and buy a few sizes up in pants to make sure they’ll fit.

      2. Same advice. In the Midwest and it would look strange to wear tights already. It’s the best weather of the year!

        I would definitely just buy stretchy work pants from Macy’s. In some right now!

      3. Agreed, weather in the Midwest is awesome now and it will look odd. I also have a board meeting this week and plan to bring my giant cashmere scarf as a potential blanket.

      4. Same advice here — depending on your sizing and location, Macy’s, Dillard’s, White House Black Market, Talbots, and the usual mall stores might have stretchy black pants that will do — even Athleta and REI have some “could pass for real pants” options. I would not do sheer black hose or tights.

    4. I had my first in person board meeting last week, same weather and same freezing AC inside. I opted for suit (pants) with a long sleeve blouse. I have learned to always be prepared with a thing cashmere scarf in my bag that I use as a blanket on my lap. Until we get to winter where I can wear warm tights, dresses and skirts are not a possibility for me because I would be too cold to function. I hear you on the pants fit issue, though.

      1. +1 to giant scarf of an actual warm material that is decorative still scarf-like (something silk / cashmere will be nice-looking but also warm)

    5. No—black will look really odd. I would do sheer or deal with the cold and go bare.

    6. Sheer black hose are a “dressy evening” look and a dated one at that, not for daytime wear ever. I’d go with nude hose instead.

      1. I remember my mom telling me in 1992 that sheer black hose were for evening wear…living in LA I just sat out the discussion for the next 25 years, since it’s rarely cold enough for hose with an evening dress (I do remember one exceptionally cold January where everyone on the Golden Globes red carpet looked miserable but that is super rare).

        Sometimes I wear nude hose with a skirt suit or dress, but mostly because my office is freezing.

    7. What about nude fishnets? I wouldn’t suggest them if you weren’t on the board already. Despite being mainly holes I find them warmer than bare legs and they are a bit edgy / fun so might not seem as out of place as black hose in 80 degree weather. The other thing I’ve done is wear jockey slip shorts under a skirt to keep me warmer without needing full tights.

      1. I’m gonna disagree with this. I think nude fishnets were what we wore 5-10 years ago when sheer nude pantyhose were NOT DONE AT ALL LEST ONE BE THOUGHT A FRUMPY OLD LADY. I kind of feel like we’re past that now (thank you, Kate Middleton) so I’d go with the sheer nude over the nude fishnets. Or actually I’d buy new pants or wear a midi dress to keep my legs warm.

          1. +1. The one time I tried the fishnets, the guys at work stared at my legs with astonishment. Not the reaction you want. Just wear nude hose appropriate for day, and own your executive look.

          2. I never once saw fishnet tights in a work setting, even though I used to travel all over the country in the Before Times. Who was actually wearing them, and where?

        2. I was a nude fishnet kind of gal — 5 – 10 years ago. I would go no hose at this point, or carry a pashmina / scarf to drape over my legs, or wear pants.

          1. I’m in. Been doing it for a while now (when necessary, which is admittedly seldom).

        4. I had them in pretty heavy rotation with my huge collection of The Skirt in every color. So, 8ish years ago.

          1. “Them” for this post = nude fishnets. Nesting fail — that was for Anonymous at 3:14 p.m.

    9. You’re going to look odd wearing sheer black tights in early October. The weather here in the midwest has been gorgeous.

  11. Does anyone have tips on buying original art? Specifically, an abstract large scale piece? We have a living room wall that I think would benefit from this. I’m playing around on Sachi art and charish and the website of an artist from SM. This looks like a five figure proposition, which I think we can work into our furniture budget. I’m pretty good at decorating (or at least I’m almost always pleased with my own choices) But I’m not particularly artistic or educated in art so I’m a little nervous. Any tips or experiences are welcome. Thanks!

    1. If you have that kind of budget to play around with, are there any local artists whose work appeals to you? This would be a great opportunity to commission something.

      1. If you are near a university or college with an arts program (especially if they have an MFA program), they usually have end of year thesis shows and sales. Agree with other posters —see it in person and buy what you love.

    2. Buy what you love and not for resale or investment value, and see the piece in person. Some galleries will let you borrow a piece first, but that is usually for big $.

    3. I find galleries and artists I like on Instagram honestly. That’s how I have found all of my original pieces.

    4. Agree with looking for local artists. And super agree with “buy what speaks to you.”

      Also if you are anywhere near NYC and have the budget (I think it’s $1000 to $10,000 but to be honest there is more at the higher end), the Affordable Art Fair is FANTASTIC. We were there a couple of years ago and got an amazing piece, which we wrapped up and schlepped home on the plane as checked baggage. It just ended for this year (like, yesterday) but it looks like they sell things online, too: https://affordableartfair.com/art/shop-all

      1. Also I just signed up for their mailing list and the introductory email had a lot of helpful info on buying art on- and offline. (Nope, not affiliated with them, just a satisfied customer.)

    5. I work at a university and was fortunate to buy some lovely large abstract paintings from various arts students. I love supporting students. Check your local university/college.

  12. I’m entering a new role at work (law) and realize that I don’t like my voice. My previous roles were big law roles where I mostly sat silently at my desk, and my new role (in house) requires more verbal communication. Where do I start to try to make my voice reflect the experience and authority that I have? I have a higher pitch voice and my voice is a bit sing songy (lots of fluctuations in pitch). I also am surprised by how quickly it gives out (becomes horse, isn’t loud enough, etc.). I wonder if all those years of not speaking in big law have just weakened my vocal cords.

    1. Practice diaphragmatic breathing – breathe LOW into your belly rather than short breaths into your chest. That will give you more support. Try reading out loud at home (even reading work documents or emails) and putting inflections into your voice while you practice.

      Also, don’t try to change the pitch of your voice to be lower – it is not good for your vocal cords and can cause additional strain. You can definitely change the singsongy inflection and make sure that your voice goes down at the ends of sentences (no uptalk) without making your voice lower across the board.

      1. OP here. Thank you!! Those are two ideas that I had not thought of and are things that I can easily implement.

    3. If you have a big presentation or need to speak more loudly to a group, take a few minutes to warm up beforehand. One exercise that works for me is to take a deep breath, and to release it through a very small opening in your lips (originally, it was to breathe out through a straw, but you can create the same effect without a straw and this way you can do it inconspicuously, even if you are in the meeting waiting for your turn). The small opening will slow down the exhale, you will want to increase the force of your exhale to make it faster. That force is what helps to warm up your throat muscles if you do it for 10 or so breaths. This helps my voice to be steady when I speak for longer times.

    4. I have this problem as well— I sound kinda ridiculous but I’ve chosen to embrace my Betty Boop voice. If Kristen Chenoweth can do it, so can I. For me, the first step was accepting the inevitable because the alternative is just too bizarre. I don’t want to do a weird Elizabeth Holmes fake deep voice thing.

      1. Are you me!? I’m exactly the same. My voice is super high and I hate hearing it recorded (it is SO much deeper in my head!) But, it is what it is, and I’m sure not going to waste energy worrying about making it sound deeper. My demeanor and experience/knowledge are what make people take me seriously, not my voice.

    5. There are vocal coaches who give voice lessons to lawyers. I realized in mine I had not taken a big deep breath in years. I would ask for a resource in your area.

    6. In my head my voice was always sort of gravelly and deep, I remember thinking it was “manly” as a teenager.

      When prepping to give my first CLE, I recorded myself speaking on my phone, and holy crap, my voice is so much higher and faster than I thought. It might be really weird to hear, but try recording yourself giving a short speech or explanation in your field, so you can have a better idea of where you’re starting and what your actual problems are.

  13. Good luck to all those starting a new job this week! I’m starting on a Friday and won’t get my office keys and building access until 2pm, so I guess I’ll take myself out for a first day of work brunch?
    Then next week, lecturing in a room of 170 students. Insert “everything’s fine” GIF here.

      1. I’ve got myself a new first day of school outfit. I did see a tweet this weekend that being an academic means that no matter how senior you are, you are still an adult wearing a backpack. Which….ouch but true.

        1. VPs at Amazon wear backpacks! You’re as cool as the tech bros? :-D

          But seriously, you can pry my backpack from my cold, dead (very non-VP) hands.

    2. Good luck! And thanks for your thoughts on the to do list, a folder w post-it notes seems like a great idea. My son has already squirted sunscreen on mine, so I may find a sturdier or plastic solution, but the concept is great.

  14. Has anyone had lower eyelid surgery to reduce bags/puffiness? I’m seriously considering it but wondered if anyone here has tried it. TIA!

    1. Not personally but a friend had the procedure where they suck the fat out from behind – it sounds kind of gruesome but the results were indeed amazing.

    2. There were posts on this within the last few weeks. Some pros and cons, if I recall correctly.

      1. Thank you so much! Did you use this doctor or someone know you know?

        1. I used him myself for upper and lower eyelids and the results were amazing. I looked several years younger afterward. When I was getting recommendations for a surgeon, I thought it was very revealing that every female dermatologist I knew said he was the eye surgeon they would go to. And by the way, his office staff was great.

    4. Yes I had it done 10 years and and was quite pleased with the results. Still looks better than before, even now.

    6. I asked about this a few weeks ago; my concern is mainly dark circles. The surgeon I saw said he would remove some of the fat under my eyes and pull the skin toward my outer corner. It would be two inicisions, one right under the lash line that I don’t believe would need stitches and one near the outer corner that would require stitches. Several commenters said they would be concerned about needing fillers since our faces lose fat as we age (I’m 40). Others mentioned they had the surgery and love the results. I’m still on the fence and haven’t committed to the procedure yet.

  15. Does anyone sell French cuff dress shirts that are darted/fitted for a woman? I thought Brooks Bros. had them, but apparently not.

    2. Look on Poshmark/eBay for Thomas Pink (now out of business) or Charles Tyrwhitt (no longer making women’s)? I’m sure eShakti or the like has them also.

    3. Grosvenor shirt company out of the UK. Shipping is a bit expensive but you don’t pay VAT, so it works out.

    4. untuckit. My husband had a gift certificate for them but didn’t care for anything, so I got some french cuff dress shirts. A little long for my 5’3″ self but nice.

  16. Ok ladies, shop for me. Attending a dressy event where I need my outfit to be Chinese-inspired, but not to the level of wearing an actual cheongsam or being culturally appropriating. I think this can be achieved by silk fabrics in beautiful rich colors, but everything out there is either cottage core or sl*t city. Would love some out of the box inspirational links! I’m 5 4 and a size 8 or 10 and have muscular upper arms so strapless / sleeveless doesn’t work too well.

    2. Would vintage be appropriate? If so, look for 1950’s-60’s made in Hong Kong as your search terms to find beautiful silks in more western silhouettes.

      3. I’d be a little hesitant to wear a Taiwanese designer to an event related to China, particularly if the event has anything to do with China’s government (e.g., it’s at an embassy, or something like that).

    11. You might be able to pull of something Chinoiserie porcelain inspired. (But can also be considered culturally appropriating, especially if you do a fast fashion kind of outfit.)

      But maybe something like this, which is very small and understated:
      https://www.etsy.com/no-en/listing/1007957423/blue-and-white-chinoiserie-stud-earrings?ref=shop_home_recs_1&sca=1

      Or something like this, where the inspiration is clear, but the product more abstract:
      https://www.etsy.com/no-en/listing/860573041/blue-white-statement-necklace-beaded?ref=shop_home_active_8

  17. I asked this on Friday but I’m going to re-ask here but, don’t worry, I won’t repeat it again after this.

    Do you have any experience with Egan Nelson as a firm? Can you tell me about it?

    If you want to go to email for some reason – anonforcorporette AT gmail

  18. Does anyone have a good mask (like from a tube, not a sheet mask) for acne-prone skin? Derm recommended coming in for extractions but they are a) horribly booked up months out right now and b) I’m not wanting to do anything non-masked anyway, so willing to do some home remedies for now. Acne is from oily skin and hormone-driven, so a clay mask might dry things but won’t actually treat anything.

    1. Herbivore Blue Tansy. I have (had) quite a bit of hormonal chin strap acne, and omg it worked wonders. Started using it several years ago and I find there’s a noticeable difference. First starting, I would use it like 3-4 times a week, but then you can decrease after that.

    2. As an acne-prone person, I really like the salicylic acid mask from The Ordinary. I use it 1-2 times a week.
      The biggest game changer for my skin was to extensively moisturize and care for my skin. I do not use aggressive products anymore that strip my skin of moisture: think acne cleansers, clay masks or pore strips – everything marketed to “clean out your pores” was too aggressive.

      I now use products from The Ordinary: Hyaluronic acid serum, after that lactic acid or vitamin C (alternating), then Cerave PM moisturizer. In the AM, I add sunscreen; in the PM, I use squalane oil to seal in moisture.

      I’m almost 40 and my skin has never looked better – very rarely do I have breakouts anymore.

    4. The only masks that have ever worked for my hormonal chin acne are clay masks, specifically Borghese Fango Active Mud and GlamGlow SuperMud. Acure’s Incredibly Clear charcoal mask also works well, but it’s like a clay mask.

      You may get better results, if you don’t want to use a clay mask, with doing an at-home peel. My all-time-favorite home peel is Philosophy’s The Microdelivery Peel; it makes your skin feel like a baby’s bottom and really tightens pores. I have also used the Dr. Dennis Gross at-home peel pads and those work well.

    5. A clay mask with sulphur will make a huge difference. The sulphur will actually treat the acne. I like the one from ProActive.

  19. The new CDC guidance re: Pfizer booster shots is confusing. I’m immunocompromised and already got a third shot per the earlier guidelines so I’m not worried about myself, but I’m not sure if my husband should get one. He is technically obese by BMI, but has never had any health problems from it. According to the CDC, he “may” get one, but not sure if he should. The only other consideration is whether he should get it to provide more protection for me in the same household. Immunocompromised people and younger people with borderline conditions, what are you all doing?

    Also, FWIW, our occupational exposure is nil (WFH) and we’re still pretty locked down until we know if the vaccines work for me.

    3. I think he’s eligible and should feel fine morally about getting it, but it seems like it may be worth waiting a month or two to stretch his next round of immunity out, especially if you have no exposure (and you maybe will next year?)

      1. Doctors are not terribly helpful with questions like this. They tend either to give outdated or blanket answers without any consideration of individual circumstances, or they punt and say “it’s up to you.”

        1. My doctor was very helpful actually. I take Humira so I know I’m somewhat immunocompromised but I didn’t know if that was what they meant for the 3rd shot. So I asked her and she said “YES, they mean you! You’re who it’s for!” And I went and got my 3rd shot that day! (Aug 26)

          1. Yeah, that’s a clear-cut case where she could really only give one recommendation. Not the same as OP’s situation.

        2. OP here and that’s exactly it – our doctors (both of ours) have ALL been punting to the CDC guidance followed by “it’s up to you.”

    5. Under 50 with well-managed asthma. I got my booster over the weekend after getting my second shot in January. So 8+ months post vaccination, and I have a trip coming up that will include more than the basically zero exposure in my typical routine. I’d lean towards him getting it, considering you are uncertain about it’s effectiveness in your.

    6. Given that you are immunocompromised, he should get it! I’m in my mid thirties and my husband was fully vaxxed by Jan (also mid-30’s) and I wouldn’t mind if he were eligible for a booster, and I’m not immunocompromised.

  20. Suggestions for questions to ask in a job interview when the role is brand new? A lot of Qs I’m seeing online aren’t applicable, like why did the prior person leave, where did they go, etc. This is internal so questions about the company culture and values aren’t applicable either. I’ve already asked about day to day responsibilities and professional development opportunities.

    1. Why did they create the role? What are they hoping to achieve in the first year? And, I’d ask questions about supervision and resources — who does the role report to, who does it supervise, what resources are and are not available.

    2. What is the scope of this role and why was it developed? What do you expect the person to achieve within the first 90 days? In the first year? How do you envision (role) interacting with (other known program groups)? Has this role’s authority and responsibility been communicated across the (program/project)? Who are my main points of contact, and what should I expect of them and they of me?

      Good luck!

    3. Not a specific question, but I would want to get a sense of what aspects of the position have been fully thought through and are set in stone vs what is still up in the air. Is this role doing new work, or is it being carved out from another person’s position? If it’s being carved out, I would want to understand the current state of the work (ie, is it a mess because that person has been trying to do two jobs?). I would also ask questions about the manager’s supervisory style and the team(s) the role will work with. I would also ask a lot of questions about how they define success for this role, which will also help you understand how well they’ve thought through the new role.

    4. I would try and suss out how the organizational need for the role came out and flag any potential conflicts/issues with others who feel this role is their job. Alternatively, make sure the role is clearly defined so you don’t step into a role that is *everyone’s* answer for “who is going to do X, which is not my job.”

  21. Does anyone else feel like you can do high level work BUT not without significant mental anguish and turmoil. I’m nearly 40 and I’m generally praised for my work but I find I’m in this horrible cycle where I’ll have a project or last minute trial and I can do good work but I’m in bar exam style all consuming anguish. I eat like garbage and I can’t sleep or focus on anything else in my life, I’m impatient with my kids and internally it just feels like nothing else matters except this work thing. I should add that objectively my work is not important to society and doesn’t affect any person’s life directly. I’m not in danger of being fired and I could survive financially if I was. I’m working with a therapist but if anyone has dealt with this I’d love to hear it.

    1. This was me in my law firm days, a very long time ago. No real advice but hugs and support — it’s awful! Good for you for taking steps to tackle this because I know you don’t need me to tell you that your kids are way more important than your work.

    2. I relate to this. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but it still rears its head at times, especially when I’m stressed in other areas of my life. For me, it’s a combination of anxiety and probably some imposter syndrome thrown in. The need to prove myself is strong. It’s really hard and not the easiest thing to fix.

    3. I feel like this with litigation-type work. I started out as a litigator, and I was like this for 5 years. I switched firms and to a transactional and regulatory practice. But I still get the same stress when I have to do things that are litigation-adjacent like administrative hearings. Fortunately, that type of work makes up less than 20% of my job total, but some weeks, it’s 80%. Those weeks, I just take care of myself as well as I can, try to stick to my routine, and remind myself that I can go back to what I enjoy soon enough. I also find that my choice of relaxing activity changes from reading novels to binge-watching dumb tv shows, and I just roll with it.

    4. I struggle with this and think it’s actually from burnout in my field. I no longer feel engaged in my field and don’t actually want to do the work, so I basically have to put myself into a do-or-die moment to get anything done.

  22. Asking for a friend – a sleep-interrupted friend… When the next door neighbor’s small dog is inexplicably outside and barking its head off from midnight to 2 am, it’s ok to go next door and ring their doorbell repeatedly until they answer and tell them to bring their dog inside, right? This friend is just blinking through her morning and wondering if she should have done what she fantasized about at 1:30…

      1. I would not ever send the police to someone’s house in the dead of night for such a trivial reason. Too many ways for that to go wrong.

        3. Unfortunately, +1 from me too. In my city, our cops tend to shoot first and ask questions later. I would not want to see one of my neighbors get hurt or killed because I didn’t just go ask them to put their barky dog in the house.

    2. Yes, absolutely. I have actually done this – past midnight, dog was barking, I went over and knocked until they answered and said hey, you might not realize this (because they were dead asleep, of course) but your dog has been barking for over an hour. They brought it in and we never had the issue again.

    3. Not for a first offense, unless the dog is in danger due to weather or something. I would respond very differently in the winter than at this time of year. If this is the first time, I would try to talk to the neighbor to see what happened. Are they elderly/sick/overwhelmed/experiencing mental health issues? Is there something I can do to help them and the dog? If this kind of accident happens again, is there a doggy door I can direct the dog to, or would they prefer I take it inside myself and leave them a note? Basically, be neighborly – see how I can help out my neighbor. If they’re rude about it then I’d contact animal control to ask how I should handle the situation in the future – does animal control have a 24 hour line or do I need to call the police non-emergency line like any other noise complaint?

    4. Yes! This has happened to me and they weren’t aware the dog had gotten out and were absolutely horrified!

    5. My car alarm is somehow more audible to my neighbors than their midnight barker. Caveat: there are not many houses within earshot and we also don’t get many car alarms going off in this neighborhood, so it’s not a noise that would irritate everyone nor be ignored by everyone.

      A couple of days last winter of setting off the alarm from inside my cozy house with my fob when their dog hit the 5-minute mark cured them of their selective deafness, and I no longer worry that their dog is going to get frostbite stuck out in the bitter cold at night.

  23. If I need a lil pick me up — what’s your favorite lipstick to treat yourself with? (What’s the latest trend these days, glossy? Is there a Sephora sale coming up?)

    1. I was just starting to get into wearing lip color before pandemic started. Now it feels pointless because masks/WFH/social life = playground play dates. Kinda jealous that it still makes sense in your life.

    3. Not a lipstick but I got Revision Skincare YouFull Lip Replenisher and it is AMAZING!!! I will never use another lip treatment. Bonus is that it gives you incredible shine so you can use it over lipsticks. Per the price and results — definitely a treat.

    4. I love the YSL lip stains. Tatouage Couture Liquid Matte Lip Stain and their glossier ones too. Feels great on, easy to apply, good coverage.

    6. I love the Maybelline Red For Me lipstick so much I bought two extras. I am pale and cool-toned but supposedly it works on a variety of skin tones.

  24. Going to Banff next week. I’ll be mostly solo while my husband is in a work conference. Recommendations for hikes and scenic spots? I haven’t done any planning because I was scared to let myself get my hopes up that the trip would actually happen, but it seems like it is.

    Obligatory disclaimer that I’m vaccinated x3, will test before and after travel and will wear a mask when around others.

    1. Everything is stunning there. Any hikes around lake Louise or Moraine, Peyto lake are good. Also Johnson Falls.

    2. Johnston Canyon waterfalls are gorgeous and an easy walk from the parking lot. If you’re comfortable hiking a little further solo, I highly recommend extending beyond the waterfalls up to the Ink Pots. Worth having bear spray for that one, and I’m not sure how conditions would be at this point during the year, since I went in the summer.

      1. For an alternative to Johnston Canyon if it’s too full or a tree fell down and blocked access, Marble Canyon and the Paint Pots in Kootenay Park is a good option!

    3. If you are relatively fit, the big bee hive hike at lake Louise is one of the best hikes I’ve ever done. It is like 6 miles up hill but the views are worth it.
      Both Morraine and Louise get busy fast so I suggest an early start

      1. Thanks! This looks gorgeous, but I’m not sure I’m fit enough. It also seems like the trail might be too icy by October.

        1. The bee hive is not “too” hard – you just have to take your time. Although if you have hiking poles it would be a bit easier as the path is a little bit steep after you get past the tea house. In my opinion the little beehive is just as pretty and not as much work lol.

    4. The teahouses at Lake Agnes and the plain of the six glaciers are beautiful. You can hike Mount St. Perin or the little Beehive from the Lake Agnes Teahouse, too. Mount Fairview is a nice hike from the Lake Louise parking lot. The larches might be out in Larch Valley and that is spectacular, along with anything else around Moraine Lake. Also, if you are interested there are horseback rides up to the Lake Agnes Teahouse and Little Beehive.

      You do have to get to Lake Louise SUPER early to be able to park in the lot (like before 7), OR book a shuttle from the parking lot at least 48 hours in advance OR take transit from Banff. I think there is a bus from the parking lot to Moraine Lake.

      Right in the town of Banff, Tunnel Mountain is a nice short hike (45 minutes up?), and Sulfur Mountain is a nice 90 minute hike up. Beautiful views from up there with an interpretive centre and lots of mountain goats! There is a restaurant but when I was last there the coffee shop was closed though. Also, you can hike down or take the gondola if you are feeling a bit lazy. Not sure where you are staying but the number 1 bus goes from town up to the base of Sulfur Mountain and the hot springs.

      If you get a chance to do afternoon tea at the Banff Springs I can highly recommend. Not sure if you are looking for a fancy dinner spot but if you are, do not miss the Eden dining room at the Rimrock Resort hotel. This is a bit pricey but I cannot tell you how amazing the food and service will be. If you are looking for any other recommendations let me know – as you may be able to tell we have spent a lot of time in Banff and area!

    5. I’m late to reply, but I’ve done a lot of hiking in the area and would be happy to share some personalized recommendations. If you’d like, you can reach me at b4908943 at gmail. Will you have a car? What length of hike are you comfortable with? Anything particular you want to see: waterfalls? lakes? larches?

  25. My coworker has just done a very stinky poo and now wants to sit on my lap. AITA if I refuse? He is a cat.

    1. Lmao NTA, either that or I’m an AH too for refusing to snuggle my poopy co-workers.

  26. Shower thought: I’ve realized that a marker of wealth/comfort for me personally is just having more of the things I might need at home. Like I don’t drink soda or put sugar in my tea, but if guests come over I can offer them some. I have extras of all my make up etc so that if it runs out I already have the replacement. I have extra things for recipes even if I don’t use them on a daily basis, like feta cheese or baking powder. Also, at the same time, lack of clutter. Everything is out of sight in nice boxes or generally organized, but fairly easy to get out when needed. Maybe this is just all my city living talking right here.

    1. Same and I’m realizing it is a family trait. I like to feel like I have abundance. I also look at it as present me taking care of future me. Sometimes it plays out as light hoarding and I remind myself I can store stuff at the store.

  27. We’re heading to the Virginia Beach area for a week starting next week. Road trip for us from New England, it’s my husband and me, our three year old son, and my parents (mid 60s). We’re staying in an AirBNB right on Chic’s Beach and are planning to visit Busch Gardens and Colonial Williamsburg, but I’d love more tips for places to visit, things to do, restaurants etc (preferably outdoor). We’re all vaccinated but for our 3 year old. He loves busy things but will be happy just staying on the beach too. We’re into museums, historical sites, shopping, cultural activities, not so much the sporty/outdoorsy types though obviously we are outside a lot with our son. Any ideas welcome, I’ve been working insane hours and dealing with some personal stressors and I am too emotionally and mentally exhausted to do as much planning for this as I should have. Just thrilled to have a few days off. Thanks in advance!

    1. I assume you probably already know this, but Busch Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream will have started by next week. I think they have kid-friendly events during the day, so you might want to check the schedule in advance if you want to try to hit some of those (or kid wants to dress up) (the scary stuff doesn’t start until 6 and I assume with a 3 year old, you’ll be done with the park by then. Or if you have a chance to leave your son with your parents for the night and do something on your own, adult evening Howl-O-Scream is a lot of fun).

    2. if you like silver jewelry, the silversmith in CW is legitimate – I have a pair of earrings and a cuff that my parents picked out with me there when I was in middle school and still wear… 25 years later.

    3. Williamsburg/Jamestown: Jamestown Settlement is great for kids–very interactive in a more hands-on way than CW. The Kidsburg playground is also popular. There are a couple of parks with little lakes where you can rent kayaks. Be aware that several of the restaurants on and near Duke of Gloucester street are owned by the same company (DOG Street Grill, Blue Talon, etc.) and, pre-pandemic at least, have absolutely terrible service especially if you have kids. Also avoid anything called “Deli” or “Delly”–those are the college bars and have greasy food and poor service. For sandwiches at the Cheese Shop, call ahead to order for pickup at the side window to avoid long waits and crowds of tourists. Pierce’s Pitt BBQ is worth a visit. Check out the ride closures at Busch Gardens ahead of time. We went on a busy day this summer and were disappointed by how many of the family-friendly rides were closed. A 3-year-old will probably be happy just to visit Sesame Street Forests of Fun, though. Lorikeet Glen was a surprising hit for our family. If you are at all concerned about COVID you will want to wear masks while waiting in line for rides–they really pack people in, even now.

      Virginia Beach: Renting bikes or a surrey and riding up and down the boardwalk is fun. If you go on a weekday, it will be less crowded. Bring your own helmets, as the bike rental company does not provide them.

  28. I posted here a while back asking for backpack recommendations for DH who frequently does one night type work travel. I think I’d like to go Tumi – feels safe – but there are so many options! Any specific bags? Or other brands too – I think The Filson leather was a little steep for me but willing to invest too.

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