Weekend Open Thread

92 Comments

1. This scarf gives me flashbacks. The worst manager I ever had wore SO MANY accessories with skulls on them. And otherwise she looked like a normal suburban GenXer (except she never got rid of the long, stringy permed hair and poufy bangs that looked so cool in 1988). I could never figure out if she thought the skulls made her look edgy? tough? WTF.

   1. Maybe she was a secret goth?

   2. I COVETED a McQueen scarf when they were first in style (> 10 years ago) but never pulled the trigger. I’m an urban mom with a bob haircut and I just like scarves.

      I ended up buying a local designer’s hand painted silk scarf that has an abstract skull pattern and that successfully scratched my itch.

   3. This looks like something that the ~goth femme~ girls would buy at Zumiez in the early 2010s to wear with a black hoodie, black jeans, and Converse and flat ironed hair with dark eyeliner.

      I hate it.

      1. I still see that look all the time on the younguns.

2. dumb question – what’s everyone’s favorite deodorant/antiperspirant? need a new one.

   1. Secret Clinical

   2. Dove. Hands down.

   3. I also like Secret Clinical. They have a truly unscented one, can be hard to find.

      1. +1

   4. Tom’s of Maine. I don’t like deodorants that have antiperspirants, the antiperspirant actually makes me sweat more.

   5. Dry Idea unscented gel. It’s really unscented – scented is a dealbreaker for me.

   6. Men’s unscented Mitchum gel. Guy deodorant is just better. It also lets you dispense as much as you want with a free-rolling wheel, instead of the women’s click products that give you either nothing or half the stick at once.

      1. +1

      2. +1 I’ve tried Secret Clinical, Dry Idea, etc., and women’s Mitchum, but men’s Mitchum is still best in show.

      3. Another vote for Mitchum clinical unscented deodorant. But I like the “soft solid” because it dries faster than gel. I hate the way gel takes forever to dry.

   7. Degree, the one with the black dress on it.

   8. Dove
      Love it, works great, light scent
      I can’t wear those ones for black clothing that leave no mark, 3 days of that and my underarms are raw

   9. Vanicream, if you’re sensitive

   10. Recommend Degree, because it lasts. I resent Secret putting “Clinical” on the label, like there’s something medically wrong with me because their regular version doesn’t work.

3. The a post from a while ago, McQueen apparently does own the skull.

4. We have some idiot local family members that we can easily avoid (and formerly loved seeing, as we have similarly-aged kids who get along well) who are refusing to get COVID shots. We’ve decided: Thanksgiving with them is off again (since it’s all unmasked eating). But now it comes to: funerals. I am inclined to go since local laws require masks inside now (and surely the funeral home will and the church I believe must), I will wear a mask inside, and I will just bypass the food (although I might need a stiff drink). I had my shots a long time ago. And we’d just send vaxxed adults and leave the kids with neighbors since kids are in the 5-11 group.

   1. Is this a hypothetical? Or are you actually going to a funeral. I would not assume churches are requiring masks- if that’s a deal breaker call the church and ask.

   2. I think you’re fine with your plan. I’m mildly immunocompromised and had plans to see family over Labor Day that included an unvaxxed family member. I talked to my doc about it and he said to try to be mostly outside with this person, but just mask when inside and not touch eyes, do frequent hand washing etc.

      The worst part is not necessarily your exposure but being around people who want to get into it with you because you’re wearing a mask, and on that front I agree about the strong drink. Maybe sip it outside.

   3. Basically same. No thanksgiving with unvax ppl and will do things like funerals/wedding ceremonies etc with masking if indoors. If I think there will likely be a lot of unmasked or unvax people I would either not go or use an n95 or double mask.

      I CANNOT WAIT for the kids vax. That’s when things will normalize for our family. Not worried about me getting sick. Am worried about passing it to my kids and them having to miss a ton of school. I need them in school so I can work.

      1. Last para: same, girl, same

   4. Dh and I attended a funeral for an extended family member last week. I am close with some of the close relatives but don’t know each individual attendee well enough to know if they were all vaccinated–maybe since it’s a family of doctors, maybe not given our geographic location. DH and I wore N-95 masks. We are pretty cautious because we have an unvaccinated kid at home, but we decided the funeral was worth the risk with masks.

5. I used to get my nieces fleece pajamas from Land’s End that come in big kid / little kid sizes. Apparently they don’t go up to women’s sizes. Kids are now Old Navy XS and S for women’s sizes. I see a lot of flannel PJs, which would be OK, but the fleece is just so cozy. Does this exist for women? I’ve tried LLBean and a couple of other places, but google keeps taking me to pages of flannel offerings. Trying to shop early for xmas b/c I’m now a believer in supply chain disruption due to trying to get some routine items that were on back order all summer. Thanks!

   1. Closer to Christmas, Old Navy will have women’s fleece PJ pants. They sell out quickly.

   2. I think it’s too early, honestly. Fleece jammies definitely do exist for women.

   3. Kohl’s sometimes has them – LC brand. They’re called something like cozy or extra soft and come in lengths. Might be a little early.

   4. Soma definitely has fleece!

   5. Try Macy’s.

6. I am tired to the bone and probably burnt out. I’m getting dinner with some friends this weekend and will be visiting my parents (who live at the beach) which I hope revived me a bit. Other ideas to help combat burnout when I can’t take time off?

   1. Getting outside and ideally doing some light exercise (hiking, walking) while outside.

   2. Agree with “get outside.” If you can, consider working outside or from a local patio for a couple hours once a week?

      1. My commute is a 25 min walk so I usually get an hour of walking outside a day!

         1. Is it in green spaces? That matters. Trees, plants, water – try to sit quietly alone in a natural environment for a while. Maybe with a coffee. I find this restorative even though I also find it boring.

   3. There’s an article in the Harvard Business Review that I’ve always found helpful. There may be some ideas in here that will spark your thinking:

      https://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energy-not-your-time

7. paging pumpkin lovers! My farmbox is providing me with acorn and butternut squash galore! I am hosting a brunch this weekend and was wondering if people have brunch-type recipes with squash. I am doing a charcuterie board, nice bread, baba ganoush (farmbox is also flooding me with eggplant), fruit and veggies. Is there a good spread or dessert where I can incorporate squash?

   1. The squash ricotta toast from smitten kitchen is fabulous!

      https://smittenkitchen.com/squash-toasts-with-ricotta-and-cider-vinegar-2/

      A soup would be lovely too

      1. oooh, that does look amazing. I think this is a winner.

   2. I would cube and roast the butternut squash and prepare a green salad that incorporates the squash. There are several on the web that look good, but here is one to my taste: https://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/butternut-squash-salad-hazelnuts

   3. This dip is great and complements the baba ghanoush: https://cerijoneschef.com/butternut-squash-dip/

   4. For a brunch recipe, I’d make a hash!

   5. You can make squash bread, somewhat like banana bread, if you like sweet breads.

      Squash fritters could go with brunch, or maybe little squash and feta frittattas in cupcake tins.

      For the butternut ones, I really like soup, and oven roasted cubes for side dishes either warm or cold in salads (kale, feta, pomegranate seeds, puy lentils). I also like to make some into puree to freeze and have later in the season. If you have space for it, canned or frozen pumpkin puree is great.

8. What are your high risk loved ones who got Moderna doing? I know my husband and I will be fine if we get a breakthrough infection but am worried about my parents who are mid-70s with multiple underlying conditions and were fully vaccinated almost 8 months ago. It’s really frustrating to see all their friends who got Pfizer become eligible for booster shots while they still have to wait until who knows when. I know Moderna is slightly more effective than Pfizer but the data is pretty clear that the impact of the third dose far outweighs the small differences between the two dose vaccines.

   1. My husband is almost 74 and was fully vaccinated with Moderna probably 8 or more months ago. He had his antibodies tested at his regular doctor’s appointment a month or so ago and the levels were still nice and high.

      1. That’s good to hear, thanks.

      2. My husband is slightly younger than your husband, had Pfizer and is sick with Covid. He wears KN95 as his mask and has only eaten outdoors with vaxxed companions. No risky conditions, other than age. Breakthroughs happen. He was pretty sick but a monoclonal antibodies infusion helped a lot.

         1. It’s good he was able to get the treatment at least. Some states are limiting monoclonal antibody treatment to the unvaccinated :( I’m not sure why that’s ethical and turning away unvaccinated Covid patients to save ICU beds for those having heart attacks/strokes/car accidents isn’t, but here we are.

         2. So sorry to hear that! Sending support and best wishes for a speedy recovery! (We are happy to be here in Southernn California with high vax rates and low infection rates!)

   2. Don’t visit any unvaccinated grand kids for a couple more months. The Moderna data was all in by mid August, and it took 90 days for the FDA to assess Pfizer, so….

      1. Unfortunately they’re taking care of my preschooler in a few weeks while DH and I are out of town. They won’t avoid their grandkid at this point, they feel like they don’t have enough life left and won’t lose more time with her. They also work in person in a state with no vaccine or make mandates and high numbers right now. I really want them to just say they’re immunocompromised and get a third dose but they’re not comfortable with that.

         I thought Pfizer also submitted booster data in August? https://www.pfizer.com/news/press-release/press-release-detail/pfizer-and-biontech-announce-submission-initial-data-us-fda
         This Pfizer press release announcing their submission of booster data is from August 16. Are you sure the 90 days isn’t in reference to Pfizer’s vaccine being fully approved?

         1. No, the Pfizer booster timeline was 97 days.

            1. What date did Pfizer submit the booster data to the FDA? Why it take them almost 60 days to issue a press release about it? It was only 40 days from press release announcing the FDA submission (8/16) to approval (9/24).

   3. Honestly, they signed themselves up for an appointment to get a Moderna booster. Not like vaxxes are flying off the shelves these days.

      1. I got a Moderna booster at the direction of my oncologist, even though I did not fit the CDC requirements. It took three tries before I found a pharmacy that would administer it. Try CVS.

         1. I know someone else that did this at Costco, too.

         2. Thanks. Unfortunately their doctors are toeing the CDC line that third doses are only for the immunocompromised and just being high risk is not enough. They called a bunch of retail pharmacies and got the same answer, that you have to certify you’re immunocompromised in order to get another dose of Moderna right now. I don’t believe you need to present any proof, but they’re unwilling to lie.

            1. Then what’s the question. They wait.

            2. Are they in a state where they can self-order the blood work to see if they are in fact immuno compromised? If they are elderly with a long history of infections, they may be.

         3. I got a booster at a small privately owned pharmacy. Walgreens wouldn’t do it. Shop around!

   4. Check with your local hospital. Ours has been giving “third doses” for months now. there is a link on their home page.

   5. I am high risk (lymphoma plus lymphoma treatment within a year) and got Moderna, as did my 90yo parents. So in August I was approved for and got a booster. I went to Walgreens and they had me fill out a form attesting to the fact that I was high risk. They didn’t ask to see any forms though I know some Walgreens do ask to see something. The CDC said that proof of immune status is not required.

      If I were your 70yo parents, I’d go and sign the form indicating that I was high risk. Is it unethical? I don’t know many mid-70yo who don’t have one or more pre-existing conditions – asthma, kidney disease, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure. All of those are risk factors if infected with Covid. My 90yo dad has had metastasized melanoma, has only one kidney, recently treated for lung cancer, asthma, AFIB and high blood pressure. I know some doctors don’t think that people who aren’t technically immunocompromised shouldn’t get boosters but it doesn’t seem logical, given that boosters in general have been deemed safe by the CDC.

      The other thing that they could do is to test their antibodies to the vaccine and if they are high, then they can worry less. I had that done via the Leukemia and Lymphoma registered clinical trial. Maybe their doctor would order it. But anyone can get their antibodies tested at LabCorp and I know people who have done this without a doctors order and self-pay (these are other people with lymphoma who are not part of the clinical study but wanted to know). The specific test number to order at LabCorp is 164090 SARS-CoV-2 Semi Quantitative Total Antibody Spike. I am not a doctor and am not giving medical advice but you can use google to find clinical studies to show what a robust test result to this test is: However, the FDA and CDC say that they don’t know what level of spike protein antibodies is protective. I know that I was low before my booster and now I’m way above the average score. I still take precautions – always mask, little to no indoor dining, no parties, weddings, no office work.

      If you go to the LabCorp website you can schedule an appointment. Good luck to your parents – I hope they stay well.

      1. Trying again to avoid moderation.

         I am high risk (lymphoma plus lymphoma treatment within a year) and got Moderna, as did my 90yo parents. So in August I was approved for and got a booster. I went to Walgreens and they had me fill out a form attesting to the fact that I was high risk. They didn’t ask to see any forms though I know some Walgreens do ask to see something. The CDC said that proof of immune status is not required.

         If I were your 70yo parents, I’d go and sign the form indicating that I was high risk. Is it unethical? I don’t know many mid-70yo who don’t have one or more pre-existing conditions – asthma, kidney disease, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure. All of those are risk factors if infected with Covid. My 90yo dad has had metastasized melanoma, has only one kidney, recently treated for lung cancer, asthma, AFIB and high blood pressure. I know some doctors don’t think that people who aren’t technically immunocompromised shouldn’t get boosters but it doesn’t seem logical, given that boosters in general have been deemed safe by the CDC.

         The other thing that they could do is to test their antibodies to the vaccine and if they are high, then they can worry less. I had that done via the Leukemia and Lymphoma registered clinical trial. Maybe their doctor would order it. But anyone can get their antibodies tested at LabCorp and I know people who have done this without a doctors order and self-pay (these are other people with lymphoma who are not part of the clinical study but wanted to know). The specific test number to order at LabCorp is 164090 SARS-CoV-2 Semi Quantitative Total Antibody Spike. I am not a doctor and am not giving medical advice but you can use google to find clinical studies to show what a robust test result to this test is: However, the FDA and CDC say that they don’t know what level of spike protein antibodies is protective. I know that I was low before my booster and now I’m way above the average score. I still take precautions – always mask, little to no indoor dining, no parties, weddings, no office work.

         If you go to the LabCorp s it e you can schedule an appointment. Good luck to your parents – I hope they stay well.

      2. Thanks, I’ll tell them to look into the antibody tests. They have a bunch of underlying conditions on your list but nothing their doctor say makes them “immunocompromised” and they didn’t feel comfortable lying (although they very much want the booster). I did suggest they read all their (many) Rx labels to see if any of them listed immunosupression as a potential side effect because they agreed then it would be ethical to check the box saying they’re immunocompromised, but unfortunately they couldn’t find anything.

   6. My parents are not high-risk unless we are solely focusing on age. My mom just got her booster and my dad is waiting a bit because he got Moderna and isn’t super worried.

9. Looking for some information on Addison’s disease, it’s a disease of the adrenal glands. As this a large diverse board, I’m wondering if anyone here has it and some life coping skills/ experience.

   My 20 year old son was diagnosed this year, and I have a few questions
   He is working full time, in a grocery store but seems very tired on his days off. His endocrinologist says his levels are normal so I’m not sure if it is just teen/ young adult laziness, sleeping on his days off.
   Will he be able to run a household, chores, etc
   Will it limit his life choices on jobs, children, hobbies.

   I grew up in a very small town, but a friend of a friend also had it and she seems kind of ‘sickly’, doesn’t work full time, posts about days in bed, has a pump (like an insulin pump) and her dad also had it and passed away young at 55 from complications

   Anyway, just looking for anecdotal stories, hopefully good ones :)

   1. I can’t speak to Addison’s but having spent most of my 20’s and 30’s working full-time in a grocery store (ran the stock crew), being tired on your days off is 100% normal, especially if his shifts vary and he doesn’t get 2 consecutive days off. It’s exhausting.

      1. That’s exactly how his shifts are, all days thank goodness, but works very erratically
         , 6 days straight then 1 day off, works 3 days, 1 day off, works all weekend etc
         You’re right. On reflection, that would exhaust me too

   2. The people I know with Addison’s live totally normal and active lives, work full time, are in great shape and do sporty hobbies, have kids. They do need to manage everything and have checkups, and need to have things like cortisol monitored and added (and available), and if the cortisol gets too low they do get dangerously ill. They wear bracelets or medical cards to make sure paramedics know about the Addison’s if they should get in an accident.

      That he knows he has it is great. You are already ahead by knowing this early. It’s a diverse disease, though, so his particular causes, symptoms and levels are more important than other people’s.

   3. JFK ran a country while having it.

10. My mentor, who is now in her mid 70s, was diagnosed with Addison’s in her mid-life. I believe she was already married and had children by then. Her condition was well managed with medication, she was able to raise her two sons, and she enjoyed a long career into her early 70s. In the few years before she retired, she was working full time and rarely took sick days. She was also very, very active on the weekends. She’s fully retired now but still healthy amd active.

    1. Thank you, that gives me great hope

       Very few people in my world know anything about the disease

11. IUD removal/replacement – what should I expect? I’ve confirmed that it’s in the wrong place via ultrasound and have an appointment with my GYN this week. Will I need to take a day off? Thank you, Hive!

    1. Yes, I think it would be safe to have a day off. There might be cramping and discomfort after the replacement. When I had it replaced, I took the afternoon to just lie down and not have to try and focus on work.

       1. Thank you! Sounds like a good idea.

    2. Just did this in July, I’m on my 4th IUD now, so have been through replacement 3 times now.

       My first IUD ended up in the wrong place – it got kind of “stuck” too high up in my uterus, near one of my fallopian tubes, and by the time I was due to replace it it was causing some pain. That removal was not a picnic as my OB/GYN had to use a special instrument to grab it and pull it down and out of my uterus. However, knowing this wasn’t going to be very fun she prescribed me misoprostol to soften my cervix and Xanax for anxiety, and told me to take 800mg of Advil before the procedure. I was so out of it from the Xanax (I’d never had that before) that I really don’t remember much about that removal/replacement. I have friends who do the misoprostol and a tranquilizer every time they replace, but I don’t feel like it’s necessary for me. If you’re nervous, though, ask your doctor for prescriptions; they’ll probably say yes.

       The most painful part of the procedure for me is always the “measuring the uterus” part where they put that thing in through the cervix, after the old IUD is out, to figure out where they need to place the new one. If you have a good, experienced person doing the replacement, they will measure quickly and then quickly put in the new IUD. NGL, it hurts. But it’s over fast. Compared to some other things I have gone through in my life, enduring about 2 minutes of “ow ow ow” is NBD. P.S., I have had a baby but had an emergency c-section well before my due date; my cervix never dilated. I primarily have an IUD because I had endometrial hyperplasia at an earlier point in my life (the progesterone in the Mirena I have keeps my lining from growing too thick again) and also have a family history of terrible fibroids; most of my female relatives end up having hysterectomies in their early 40s. So far I only have a couple of small ones, likely as a result of having IUDs for so long. The protection the IUD offers is worth the temporary discomfort from the procedure.

       As for needing the day off – I always schedule my procedures at or just after lunch, so I don’t have to burn a whole day of PTO, and I do take the afternoon off just because post-procedure I’m usually a little dizzy/lightheaded (happens any time they manipulate my cervix for any reason, even after pap smears) and usually just don’t feel like working. If you’re WFH and all you have to do is sit at your computer, you probably could go back to work but why do that to yourself? If you have the time off, take the time off. Good luck and I hope it goes smoothly for you!

       1. Thank you for sharing!

    3. It varies so much person to person. I’m on my second Mirena, and I’m childfree. It was no big deal for me; a hard pinch that was over quickly and some cramping and bleeding for 24 hours. Everyone was telling me that getting an IUD without having gone through childbirth would be akin to torture.

       1. Also childfree! I like your verbiage-“big pinch”. Thanks

    4. Removal was less painful than insertion for me, but I’ve heard from friends that their removals were positively excruciating so it really varies. If yours isn’t positioned properly that might increase your discomfort. Take some painkillers before you go in for the procedure if they don’t provide anything. I’d take the day off for sure since you don’t know how it’ll go, including planning someone to drive you, what you’ll eat, and how you’ll stay comfy for the rest of the day if it does hurt. A lot of doctors have told me that IUD insertion/removal isn’t that bad, but I’ve heard enough anecdotes to the contrary from women I trust to wonder if doctors are just calling women hysterical when it actually is horrible in some cases.

       1. Thank you. Agree ….what a physician calls “discomfort” is usually pain. I’ll take your good advice / thx

       2. I had two typical removals in my life and both were a snap and painless. If it’s out of place, I imagine it will hurt more. I would plan for the time off and if you feel fine, you can just enjoy it!

          I am a fortunate person who found insertion to be not bad. For my first, the sounding was painful and the IUD was painful and I had it removed due to the pain (that was Paraguard pre-kids). I am also a small person so I think it was just too big. My Mirena insertion (postpartum) was painless.

          1. Thank you!

12. Favorite underwear to wear with leggings? My butt is 45 years old and out of shape, so moderately (?) saggy.

    Any reviews on Parade?

    1. Honestly, I just wear my normal underwear (Hanes, the stuff you buy in bulk at Target). If I have a minor panty line, oh well, stop looking at my butt!

       1. +1

    2. With leggings, I go commando. The lines are always a problem. I am a size 12, and an oldster, so I wear firm, thick leggings and a tunic or a longer top.

    3. Soma vanishing edge undies are great. I bought a few different sizes/shapes to see which fit the best.

       Works for my 50 year old age appropriate butt!

       1. +1 Vanishing Edge for the win

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