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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 152 Comments · by

Coffee Break: ‘Dionysus’ Embellished Square Toe Flat

Coffee Break

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Decorated Square-Toe Flat: Gucci 'Dionysus' Embellished Square Toe Flat I was all set to write about these loafers today (iconic! bestsellers! vaguely comfortable and jolie-laide-stylish!), when suddenly I got distracted by something else: What was that little tiny flat in the picture? Ah, Nordstrom, your shopping recommendation gets me yet again. LOVE the hardware on here (both because it is “channeling classic Greek mythology” and because it isn’t a logo), and I like the practical square-toe flat. The pretty shade of blue doesn’t hurt either. (They’re also available in black.) They’re $795 at Nordstrom, available in sizes 5-10. Gucci ‘Dionysus' Embellished Square Toe Flat A couple more affordable options are here and here. (L-5)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Rocky Mountain Wedding

    Outfit help please! I’m officiating at my friends’ outdoor (weather permitting) wedding in the Rockies in late September. It’s at a ranch and the bride and groom will both wear cowboy boots, so think Rocky Mountain cocktail for attire (they didn’t state the dress code that way, but it’s how I can best describe it). I’ll likely wear cowboy boots too, but I don’t have to. I need a dress that will look nice for officiating, and isn’t too flimsy as I don’t want to worry about winds while officiating, so anything chiffon is likely out. I’d prefer not strapless. Budget up to $200, or I’m open to use Rent the Runway. Any wedding-appropriate color but I’m leaning towards blue or purple. Any suggestions for dresses that will stay put in the wind and look nice with cowboy boots? Thanks in advance!

  2. purplesneakers

    Love the color, hate the thin sole. I’m wincing just thinking about walking in it.

    Early threadjack: For those of you who go to the gym before/after work, do you have a separate gym bag or one large tote for everything? I’m struggling to fit everything (work clothes + toiletry bag/gym stuff + wallet + lunch + planner) in one bag, but am worried that carting two bags will make me look unprofessional. Help!

    • Anonymous

      I have a lululemon tote bag I use for this purpose. It’s technically a gym/yoga bag, but it’s huge and fits all my stuff while still looking like a regular black nylon tote bag, and it has bonuses like a shoe bag and a waterproof pocket.

        • anon-oh-no

          I think the concern is looking like a “bag lady.” I’m not sure unprofessional is the right term, but it doesn’t look great to be carrying a bunch of bags. That said, a nice, clean bag for the gym along with your nice, professional bag for work is totally fine.

          I use my neverfull though and fit literally everything in it.

          • purplesneakers

            Yes, exactly! I didn’t want to be rude but that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid, schlepping around three different bags like some sort of subway-riding beast of burden.

          • ELaw

            Fair. I either drive or bike in which case my two bags fit easily into my double panniers. Forgot about subway schlepping, it’s been so long since I had to do it!

          • Anonymous

            Agree on the bag lady thing. I think 2 bags is fine. I have a coworker who uses 3 and takes metro and looks a little crazy.

    • Runner 5

      During uni I had a backpack with all my uni things and carried a gym bag too. For work it’ll be a backpack with the gym stuff and laptop in, and a handbag containing the other things. I’m going to upgrade my utilitarian hiking pack to a Cath Kidston one I think.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I’m the worst about this – I use an ancient (probably 25 year old) raggedy blue duffel bag for my gym stuff. But I can leave it in my car.

      For a nicer-looking option – I know the Lululemon bags get great reviews, and I’ve also noticed cute bags at Target – there are some hidden in their sporting goods section and some in their luggage section.

  3. Advice/Encouragement for 13 year old?

    My sister in law is putting together a book for my niece’s 13th birthday that will include contributions from various women in her life. These will include memories, advice, encouragement, etc. I don’t know my niece well, she’s a teen, and lives across the county from me. I see her about 1x per year.

    I’m drawing a complete blank. I’m familiar with a couple of her interests, and have some funny memories to share. But it feels presumptuous to give advice; like I’m pretending I know her better than I do.

    Any suggestions for how to approach something like this? Any great quotes or advice to teens?

    • Anonymous

      This kind of present is more about sharing something from your experience not so much requiring that you know her personal interests.

      Is there anything that you learned later in life that you wish you knew when you were 13? What did you find hardest about the teen years? What was your favorite thing?

    • Coach Laura

      Perhaps write a letter to yourself at age 13 that includes advice and things you wish you’d known in high school and college. That might stop some of the preachy vibe that might creep out if, for example, I were to write an advice letter to a teen. Not saying you’d be preachy but I think teenagers might be quick to think adults are being that way when giving advice.

    • Anon

      Think about what you wish you had known when you were 13. Or lessons you’ve learned that you could’ve applied at that age.

      For me, I wish someone had told me that no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Also, even though life looks really linear when you’re in middle school/high school, it’s not a race. And don’t stress out about what you want to be when you grow up, because you’re going to be good at things and interested in things that you don’t even know exist right now.

      • Anonymous

        +1 I would tell myself not to stress out so much. Who you are at 13 does not define the rest of your life. And a bad grade doesn’t mean the end of the world.

        • 2 Cents

          +1 to both. People weren’t concentrating on me (omg, look what she’s wearing!?) nearly as much as my anxious brain thought — they were too worried about themselves. All of the conflicts and major “my life is over” moments were drops in the bucket and of so little consequence on the rest of my life. I wish I’d taken more risks, done more things that “scared” me, where I wasn’t sure if I’d fail spectacularly or not. I was too hampered with ideas of perfectionism, being the best at whatever I did, and fearful of being embarrassed or shamed.

    • Never too many shoes

      I would write out the words to Oh me! Oh Life! by Walt Whitman – advice for the ages. That we are here. That life exists. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.

    • MJ

      Check out the Mighty Girl group on Facebook. They have tons of suggestions for age-appropriate girl power awesomesauce. It’s just what you need!

    • purplesneakers

      You could write her a letter telling her things you wished you knew when you were that age, or general encouragement; I just did something similar for my niece and it went over well.

      If not, how about finding some poetry and quoting lines from it? I’m especially partial to Clemetine Von Radics’ For Teenage Girls With Wild Ambitions and Trembling Hearts, but you could go more classic, like Rudyard Kipling’s If or Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman.

      • Digby

        Thank you for recommending “For Teenage Girls” – I just read it, and loved it, and ordered a copy for my teenage niece!

    • nutella

      What about telling her about what you or her mother were like at 13 and her grandmother and use it as a way to tell stories about the women in her family that may be funny or endearing or how she has similar qualities or not to some of you.

      • Curious

        Love this. Or tell an embarrassing story that you remember and that turned out okay — kind of a way to “show not tell” the advice above about not being too nervous?

        13 year old me was actually way more confident than 15-25 year old me, so she would have liked the story, remembered it, and probably not applied the lesson for a few years.

  4. Anonymous

    I wanted to share a rather serious PSA this afternoon. I consider myself fairly well informed about taking care of my health, recognizing potential health problems, etc., but I was absolutely floored last week when I found out my mom had had a heart attack.

    She has had a history of diabetes and stroke, so it shouldn’t have been all that surprising, but she was not experiencing the classic chest pain or arm numbness one hears about all the time. We found out in the emergency room that severe nausea is a common symptom in women. I had *never* heard this before. Considering we all check for lumps in the shower, etc., I’m pretty furious that this sign of a more common killer of women not better known.

    Luckily, my mom is going to be fine. But sharing this in case it encourages someone else to go to the doctor.

  5. Anonymous

    I’ve posted a few times here recently about my long frustrating job search (my contract is ending in exactly a week). I had two interviews for one position and hadn’t heard anything back yet, and I was in agony. Well…I just got the call that I have the job!!! :) The pay is terrible (yay for nonprofits) but it’s a foot in the door of a new-to-me area I really want to work in, so I’m happy.

    Thanks to all the advice and commiseration from you ladies, this community is such a godsend!

    • Anonymous

      Congrats! I also work in the nonprofit sector, so I feel your pain. Make sure to do an income based loan repayment plan if you’re eligible/applicable.

    • LostInTranslation

      Congrats and best wishes on your new path. I’m in the same boat – not on contract but trying to make a change and I understand how really hard it can be to get that foot in the door in a new area. Thanks also for the reminder that sometimes something wonderful will happen right out of the blue.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Congratulation’s! I am SO happy for any of our HIVE that has good news, and this is great news! I know you will do great and we expect to hear WONDERFUL thing’s about you in the future. It is SO hard for any of us to get our foot in the right door these days. But YOU DID! YAY!!!!!!!!

    • Anon

      So awesome – congratulations! I’m mid-job hunt now, and the waiting to hear back is agonizing. It’s so nice to know that it can work out. :)

  7. Movers

    Hi, can anyone recommend reliable, inexpensive movers that could do a move from NYC to Philly? I only need moving, not packing (my belongings are already in boxes). I have a one-bedroom apartment, so not too too much stuff. Thanks very much!

  8. Anonymous

    A new person was hired here at the beginning of July. She just graduated from college this spring and looks very young (this is relevant). I haven’t worked with her too much but she has come across as competent and professional.

    I work in finance and banking and although it has gotten better here it’s still very male dominated. Today during a meeting a (male) co-worker kept interrupting the new hire and also kept repeating her idea as his own. She called him out and shut him down in an effective way and took ownership of her idea. I didn’t outwardly react during the meeting but inside I was jumping up and applauding. She didn’t lose her cool and stayed professional while doing it. I would have been so intimidated when I was her age and I admire her confidence. If she didn’t work in a different division and already have a mentor I would have offered to mentor her in a heartbeat. Her mentor was my mentor when I started here so I know she is in good hands. It was a good day and I was happy to see her speak up.

    • mascot

      Tell her this! She may be back in her office worrying about whether she shot herself in the foot by shutting him down.

      • MollySolverson

        +1 to telling her.

        Also – can you describe how she so successfully did this? I get so frustrated when I’m in a meeting and I suggest something and later someone else restates my idea as their own. I always want to say something like, “Yes as I suggested earlier, we should do X,Y, Z…” but it feels kind of petty in the moment.

        • Anonymous

          “Great to hear that you agree with what I’m proposing Bob. So the first step to implement XYZ is …”

          “Glad to hear you agree with my suggestion John. In order to implement XYZ, we need to start doing …”

          But very interested to hear what OP has to say about what the intern said.

          • Anonymous

            Her wording was similar to these. When he interrupted her or talked over her she would just keep talking and then look confused and ask if she had the floor or if she had missed something and it wasn’t her turn. After he repeated her idea as his multiple times she said “Wow, you must really be a fan of my idea since you keep bringing it up”. She didn’t lose her cool or get flustered and was very matter of fact.

            I will tell her when I see her tomorrow. I hope she isn’t stressing out because it was so well done (although I know how it feels to second guess myself). I know her mentor would feel the same way and he would tell her the same thing.

    • Monday

      That’s great! This type of undermining is so hard to handle in an effective way that doesn’t blow back on the woman. Can you remember the wording she used? Other techniques that stood out in her approach?

    • Patagonia

      Yes, I would tell her as well. There have been times when I spoke up for myself and seemed super confident, but was secretly fretting about it afterward and worried I had gone too far.

    • LAJen

      I think it might be nice to offer to be a second mentor, or to simply start developing an informal mentoring relationship with her. Women can always use multiple mentors and multiple champions/cheerleaders, so it shouldn’t matter that she already has an official mentor if you’d also like to play some mentoring role in her professional career.

  9. Patagonia

    Has anyone ever traveled to Patagonia? A friend and I are considering doing the Torres del Paine W trek next year, but I don’t have that much backpacking or trekking experience and I’m looking for more info about what to expect. The landscape looks amazing and it seems like it’s not known for being incredibly grueling, but I’d appreciate any perspectives from the wise ‘rettes! Also, any travel info or advice would be welcome as well – the flight from the West Coast might be a bit brutal.

    • Anonymous

      I’m going in a week- I’ll let you know how it was! I’m on the west coast, and it’s taking me around 20 hours to get to BA, and then another internal flight.

    • cbackson

      I did it! My thoughts:

      1) Spend a few days in Santiago first. The flight to Punta Arenas is long and Santiago is an interesting city – not need to kill yourself with all that travel at once. I actually took the ferry down the channels to Puerto Natales and flew back to Santiago, but I had a ton of time (a month) so I’m guessing you’re likely flying both ways.

      2) I found the hiking not to be very strenuous at all. You can do it as day hikes, by the way, if you plan your route properly – no need to carry all your stuff every night.

      3) I camped, but there are various hotel/hostel options, ranging from the comfortable to the insanely luxurious. They also have food.

      4) It’s very safe, very popular with tourists, and very well-administered. You’ll be okay with limited Spanish (not sure if you speak any), and you should feel totally fine doing this as two women (assuming you’re two women) on your own. I actually did it solo.

      5) Take layers, regardless of the season – the weather is changeable.

      6) Not in Torres del Paine, but GO SEE THE PENGUINS!!!!!

      • Patagonia

        Thanks cbackson! If you don’t mind me asking, can you give a ballpark for how much that all cost? Don’t need exact figures, but I’m wondering if we’re talking 5K or higher (for camping, most likely few to no extras beyond the trek).

        • Lillers

          I’m in the midst of planning a 2 week trip to Patagonia, and with all camping, hotels, activities and flights, its coming in right over 5k for 2 people. Book early though, the campsites fill up really fast. You also might consider joining a tour. This was by far the most logistically complicated trip we have planned (and we travel often).

    • LSC

      That area is the most beautiful place I have ever traveled. Enjoy! But also, we really almost died on the penguin trip because the water was super choppy, the boat was really small, and our tour guide got us lost. So be careful!

  10. Patagonia

    Sorry if this double-posts! Removed potentially offending word…

    Has anyone ever traveled to Patagonia? A friend and I are considering doing the Torres del Paine W trek next year, but I don’t have that much backpacking or trekking experience and I’m looking for more info about what to expect. The landscape looks amazing and it seems like it’s not known for being incredibly grueling, but I’d appreciate any perspectives from the wise hive! Also, any travel info or advice would be welcome as well – the flight from the West Coast might be a bit brutal.

  12. Old Friend

    A girl I grew up with is getting married this weekend. We had been friends from elementary school through our late 20s (early 30s now) – I invited her to my wedding a few months ago but she did not invite me to hers (and no, its not that small). It’s fine. But I am hurt – I thought our friendship was deep enough and had enough history that even though we haven’t been as close in the last 2-3 years, she’d still want me there. Ah well…

    • Anon

      I’m sorry. That’s hard. Personally, I would take some of the money I would have spent on traveling to the wedding and buying a gift to get myself a massage and mani/pedi.

    • anon

      did she attend your wedding? I generally think that if you have attended someone’s wedding in the past couple years, you should invite them to yours, unless they are truly not a good friend or you were invited because of particular circumstances that no longer exist. you have every right to be hurt!!!

    • blue

      The same thing happened to me. It hurt because I did think we had more history than that. I didn’t try at the friendship any more after that, and neither did she, so now she’s basically a stranger. Honestly, the lack of a wedding invite put into perspective something I had been denying about her (to my husband’s chagrin) because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt given our long history. She was a social climber and took her “regular” friends for granted. No need to push a one-way friendship.

      • H

        I think blue is me…the same thing happened to me and I handled it the same way. Life events can shed light on friendships.

    • Senior Attorney

      Speaking from the perspective of somebody who is having a ginormous wedding but still had to make some tough choices, please give her the benefit of the doubt if you can. You have no idea what constraints she had and it may not have been as simple as “she didn’t want you there.” There are a whole bunch of people I consider friends who didn’t make the cut for various reasons and I hope they don’t all cut me off because they feel snubbed…

      That said, I won’t pretend it doesn’t sting. Hugs. But hopefully the above may make it sting a little less.

  13. Janis Ian

    Going to make some assumptions here – (1) people here are still friends with at least some people they grew up with/went to HS with, and (2) people here were not all Mean Girls. Has anyone else noticed people you are/were friends with who grew up and then ‘became’ the Mean Girl they never were? I was definitely a dorky kid, debate team, theater, etc., as were all my friends. I’ve embraced both of those things in my life, but I’ve noticed I have some friends who now that we’re out of grad school, have really tried to ‘become’ Mean Girls. Like, trying to live this life they didn’t when they were younger. Has anyone else experienced that? It makes me not want to be friends with these people anymore, clearly, but I almost pity them that they are so insecure.

    • Anonymous

      This has happened to me for sure. Maybe not so much “Mean Girls” but the girl who was my very best and dearest friend in middle/high school is now a woman who acts in a way I don’t recognize and she barely speaks to me. It sucks!

    • Anonymous

      I had somebody say to me that his girlfriend felt like she couldn’t hang out with me and my friends because we were the “cool girls” in our social circle/hobby group. I laughed and was also concerned that I somehow come off as unapproachable? I always felt like I was friendly with everybody. They might not all like me but they sure as heck all don’t DISLIKE me….

      Maybe?

      I made a conscious effort to include her after that! They eventually broke up. But I still laugh because I am a total, 100% nerd at heart and always have been (like, straight up dork, chubby kid who was bullied in middle school for being fat, etc.)

    • Anonymous

      Yes. I’ve seen this more with men, but that might be because I spend more time with men than women due to work. It’s usually the recent law school grads who think they’re hot sh!t and say things like, I don’t need to get good grades in law school because of where I went to school. I call them the wannabe frat boys. I do my best to make sure they don’t get offers. Alas, some always slip through the cracks.

      • Anonymous

        Wait somebody said that to you in an interview? I’ve had some arrogant weirdos, but nobody has ever said that to me!

        • anon @ 4:18

          I’ve heard this from several summer associates over the years. Not in the formal interview, but I mean, a summer associate position is a 10-week long interview. Don’t say that ish.

      • Anonymous

        We had a partner who was exactly this. It was sad to observe and frustrating to experience.

    • emeralds

      I somewhat accidentally became a “cool” manic pixie dream girl in college, basically by deciding borderline social anxiety was no longer going to rule my life, getting new glasses and a haircut, and ramping up my music festival attendance. Parts of it I really enjoy(ed), like discovering flattering clothes, how to put on makeup, being able to date attractive men, having more than one friend, and drinking. I absolutely did want to live the life I didn’t live in high school–why the eff should I continue being a miserable quasi-hermit (outside of sports + a couple of clubs) if I didn’t need to? Promise I’m still playing Pokemon Go and reading Harry Potter tho. Maybe I’m misreading your post but what exactly are these women doing to make you think they’re insecure mean girls, and not just women mindfully shaping the direction of their lives?

      • Daisy

        I really, really like the question you posed at the end of your post. I think more people need to use this frame of thinking when evaluating relationships (on and off this s!te).

      • Anon

        +1. We’re all at different stages in life, and people mature/”find themselves” at different rates. Sometimes people are trying on different identities. As someone that has tried on several iterations of myself between high school and now, please be kind.

      • Anonymous

        There’s a huge difference between changing priorities in life vs. becoming a mean girl. We talk about the smug marrieds and smug parents here all the time – that’s the kind of behavior I think of as being a 30-something mean girl. Not wanting to drink until 2 a.m. anymore doesn’t make you a mean girl. Telling your still-partying friends that you don’t have time for That Kind Of Lifestyle anymore because you’re an Adult with Responsibilities, is.

        • emeralds

          That’s valid. It’s just that the OP didn’t articulate any behaviors that these alleged mean girls were engaging in to make them…actually mean. Other than not continuing to be dorky theater/debate team types, whatever the heck that is. Are they talking smack about people and pulling off Regina George-esque social machinations? Mean girls. Are they exploring new interests and yes, maybe new friend groups? Humans taking their lives in a new direction.

          Does my high school BFF think I’m a mean girl because our friendship ran its course, around the same time I got bangs, ditched the nerdy glasses, and started going out a lot with the erstwhile “cooler” girls from our high school, who happened to know upperclassmen with apartments and IDs to buy liquor? We tried to keep the friendship going, and still shoot each other friendly texts and end up getting coffee every few years–but we were just going in two totally different directions. Maybe from one perspective I was insecure and desperate to “seem cool”; from my perspective, I did some growing and developing, and all of a sudden I had a lot more in common with this other group of women, who continue to be my solid core of ride-or-die ladies to this day.

    • Anonymous

      I have a good friend in college who was on the heavy side, and then several years after college she lost a bunch of weight and immediately started acting like she was better than all her friends. At our five year reunion, she ignored all of her real friends and tried to cozy up to the “cool girls.” It was pathetic and noticeable enough that even people who weren’t in our circle were talking about it.

    • Cady Heron

      I had an “alternative” life growing up. I was home-schooled in rural Alabama. Then I went to a fancy private college that had a strong rivalry between rich hippies and rich preppies. I was more in the hippie category, which was an easy hop from being home-schooled-alternative. I spent my early 20s trying on some different identities partly because my mother was so controlling that I never had the ability to do that when I was younger.

      I (shamefully) possibly did the mean girl thing for a while before I realized that being mean and snooty is stupid and pointless and not who I really am. Now I think I might just be kind of nice and thoughtfully basic. For a long time, I really resented being forced to be alternative when I didn’t want to be. I didn’t necessarily want to be popular, but I at least wanted to not be the b*tt of people’s “home-school kid” jokes. Most people I know now don’t know that I was home-schooled because I get sick of the ignorant “oh but you seem so normal” comments. I’m not saying your friend is justified in being mean, but at least for me it was a phase I went through when I was working some identity stuff out.

    • Anonymama

      I’m not quite sure what you mean by “Mean girls” (like, into fashion and makeup, or into bullying/burn book put downs?) I think a lot of people who were awkward or nerdy as young people sort of grow into themselves a little bit, and get their rough edges smoothed out, but aren’t necessarily dramatically different or mean inside, even if they now outwardly resemble the popular girls more. And I say this both as someone who gets really intimidated by women who seem to be the “cool girls” but almost always they end up actually being pretty nice. And as someone who is sometimes shy and awkward but have been told my awkwardness sometimes comes off as unfriendliness (sometimes I just can’t think of anything to say!)

      But also, sometimes people change, and may have different interests, or may associate old friends with things that they didn’t like about themselves, and grow apart. Even Janis Ian ended up as the fantastically glamorous and accomplished Virginia Johnson. And you sound fairly young… Sometimes people sort of try on different styles as they grow up, and are figuring out what is their real self, so I think it doesn’t hurt to give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if you grow apart as friends that doesn’t mean they are necessarily terrible people.

    • anon

      Interesting, I think for a while I was the person you speak of.

      I was the extreme opposite of pretty or popular growing up. Smart, a good networker, very involved and talented in some sports and activities, but very painfully socially awkward and got labeled the know-it-all (I know, I cringe, too). Because of geography and some natural growing apart, I’m not friends with almost anyone from HS anymore. During college I made a lot of progress socially, developed many close friendships I still have, and sort of found my place. Then, I had a few rough years post-college that included me being young/stupid, not secure with the shifts in who I was, and not knowing how to navigate suddenly being prettier than I ever had been. I basically had no clue how to be popular, which I suddenly sort of was. I did some pretty cringe-worthy stuff, the worst mistake being to allow a few toxic friends to pull me down into their mean girl lifestyle. One day I had a bad blowup with someone I cared a lot about, realized how awful I was being and literally left the toxic people cold turkey. Since then I’ve matured and I like to think that a couple years ago, around age 27, I (finally!) grew into myself rather nicely. I now have a large circle of wonderful friends, have learned the best way to conduct my friendships/relationships is to be inclusive, kind to everyone, and open-hearted, and am generally very happy with my life.

      There are two people that I definitely left behind from that HS era, which I didn’t realize I had done right away. I’d like to bring them back into my life, and I’ve been reaching out increasingly and hoping they’re open to it. So far, so good but I don’t want to push too hard because yeah, I was a mean girl for a while and I would totally understand if they felt jilted and needed some time to warm up. I know I’ll likely never get a second chance on the relationship that blew up, and that’s probably one of the major regrets I’ll always have.

      • Anon

        I don’t know the specifics, but if it’s been a few years, reach out and sincerely apologize. Someone who had treated me terribly did this and while we are not close at all- and it will never be like it used to, and I don’t want it to be- there aren’t hard feelings anymore. I can only think of one person whose apology would likely not do a lot to mend the hurt they caused me, and if you asked me the same thing in a year (it’s been less than six months since the relationship ended), I might say something different.

  14. Anonymous

    Im working from a coffeeshop this afternoon and an otherwise relatively chic young woman just walked in wearing kitten heels with the fabric on the heels all scuffed up and obviouls balancing on the metal cores to her heels. It’s an awful sound and is totally detracting from her overall look, even if she thought no one would notice!

    • Anonymous

      Really? It’s one thing to notice something like this, but to be so petty as to post it here? It’s no wonder people say that women keep each other down. Men wouldn’t mention something as a shoe heel as a way to be petty to each other. Heaven forbid someone’s outfit isn’t perfect. Of course I’m sure you look one hundred percent fabulous and put together whenever you leave your home to go out.

      • Anonymama

        Aw, I’ve been that girl, and I didn’t think it was petty so much as like, “oh honey, I wish I could give you the address of my fabulous cobbler who could fix your shoes.” I’d liken it more to someone observing that someone’s car is rattling and they need to put oil in it… Actual practical maintenance required to preserve utility of something.

        • Bonnie

          Agree. We have interns all the time who slip on the stone floors because their heels are so worn down. They just don’t know any better but the sound of the nails scraping on the floor drives me nuts.

  15. Need a desk

    I have a very random issue that I would love any help with . . . I need a table that I can use as a desk. The table will go in our dining room for me to work from it during the week, and ideally be folded up and moved into our guest room on the weekends. Our dining room and kitchen are open and have stainless steel applainces and a stainless steel buffet. That said, I am not super worried about aesthetics — just want something for $250 or less that will have space for a laptop and monitor, room to write on a legal pad next to the laptop, and be sturdy enough to hold a laptop and monitor. Any ideas? TIA!

    • CHJ

      OMG that letter. That’s like if Trump’s twitter feed wrote a doctor’s note. Amazing.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t believe this hasn’t been called out in the media before now. Like the whole bit about he will be the healthiest president ever was referenced but not the fact that his doctor misrepresented his credentials/affiliations and didn’t report his test results in a typical fashion.

    • Anonymous

      So he has no legit medical clearance and has produced no tax returns? If a democratic candidate tried to run for president like that the GOP would lose their minds!

  17. T Shirt Dress

    I am looking for a few T-shirt dresses for the weekend. Main criteria are that they not be too short and be fairly soft. I would like black and am open to other colors. Can anyone make a recommendation? Thank you!

  18. Anonymous

    My new colleague doesn’t carry a purse or any type of bag or tote daily. She has one that looks like purse that she uses once in a blue moon when she has to bring paperwork to and from home to review, but the rest of the time she had nothing. I don’t know how she does it. I hear her telling someone once that she only brings what she needs (phone, key, transit pass and money for lunch) as opposed to a full wallet and bag. I don’t know where she keeps her key but the transit pass and money in the inside pocket of her jack or sweater. I feel like a pack mule every day and many of my colleagues also carry one or multiple bags to work every day. I would almost feel naked without mine.

    • Anonymous

      I wonder if she’s the type to constantly ask other people if they have a Kleenex/Advil/bandaid/hair elastic (all things I always carry with me).

      • Anonymous

        She has never asked me or anyone when I’m around. Her desk drawer is fairly well stocked with things like bandaids. She has short hair so she doesn’t use elastics or anything and boxes of Kleenex are provided by our office. She seems very prepared and put together (at least when I’ve been around her)

      • HSAL

        I had a friendsort of like that – always bragged about how she only needed to carry her wallet (with her phone inside) and her keys. And then she would want to put them in my purse so she didn’t have to carry them.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe she discovered that she doesn’t need all the stuff in her bag after all.

    • Bonnie

      I used to be on the same commuting schedule as a woman like this. She never carried a bag and I always wondered what she did with her keys, wallet, etc.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I have a friend who transitioned to doing that. I was fascinated but didn’t press for details because I couldn’t imagine doing it myself. I typically like to have my water bottle with me. I’ll have to ask her now because I’m curious.

    • KT

      I would feel naked without my bag. I’m like Mary Poppins. At one meeting, someone asked for a stapler, and yes, I had one in my bag.

      I have a problem.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I went through court security once behind a woman who had not 1, not 2, but 3 wine openers (the big metal kind) in her bag. She had been asked to bring them to an outdoor party the evening before and forgot to take them out of her bag. It was hysterical.

        • Ms B

          I actually got called on my cell once by a judge’s law clerk who asked if I had a wine opener in my purse. I was driving to a CLE/reception at the courthouse and the judge who was organizing the event realized that they had wine, but no opener. The judge figured I was the kind of person who would, in fact, have one to hand.

          I did not have one in my purse, but I did have a couple in my car (always do!) and I brought them in with me — after the judge’s clerk came downstairs and explained why I needed to bring them in!

      • LostInTranslation

        Ha, I used to have a stapler in my everyday bag, along with a screwdriver and several other functional tools. One day I went to a wedding shower and almost forgot to change to the smaller “fancy” purse I had thrown in my car as I left that day. Wouldn’t you know it – they played the “how many of these things do you have in your purse game?” and one of those things was a stapler. I so would have one that game if only I hadn’t changed purses last minute.

    • Senior Attorney

      The only way I can imagine making this work would be to make a career out of finding clothing with functional pockets so you had actual pockets available every. single. day. like men do. Which would be kind of great but maybe not worth the trouble.

      • Anonymous

        She sort of does this. She has a jacket and a sweater and both of them have an inside pocket. She keeps her transit pass and a 10 or 20 dollar bill for lunch there and mostly likely her too. She doesn’t carry a wallet and says she only brings ID or a bank card or whatever when she’s going somewhere that she needs it. None of her clothes have pockets and it works for her even without them.

      • Anonymous

        +1 I do this when I can, but I have a purse for pocket-less outfits. I personally find it challenging to always have pockets – especially in summer when I don’t have a jacket.

    • REA

      I am your coworker. I carry a cell phone with my work ID, license and one credit card that slip in the case. House is keyless entry. I have a small fob on a ring for my keyless car. It’s incredibly freeing. You don’t need all the crap you carry around – men handle it just fine.

    • Aunt Jamesina

      I’m super late to this conversation, but I’m rather like your colleague (brought on by back problems). I have to take a laptop to and from work, so I have a regular work bag, but it has the absolute minimum necessary and I keep my desk well-stocked. I don’t have a reason to schlep that stuff to and fro when I just need it in my desk. When I’m not at work I use a very slim men’s wallet in which I have the bare essentials; so the wallet, my keys, chapstick, and my phone tuck nicely into either my coat pockets (in cooler months) or very small cross body bag, and I fold up a Baggu bag in a pocket or in my bag in the event I need to carry something home with me or stop at a store. I only buy very small bags now so I can’t load up. It’s awesome.

  19. Keyless

    Has anyone gone keyless with their home or vehicles? My husband and I are considering it. He is hesitant because he has a co-worker who went keyless and someone hacked the system somehow and robbed their home and stole their keyless the SUV as well, but I have been reminding him that houses and cars with keys get robbed every day. Curious to hear from others regarding this.

    • Daisy

      We have a “keyless” home – keypad entry, but option to use a standard key if there was ever a failure of the electronic locking system. We got it at Home Depot and the keypad is on juts one of four doors into the home. We’re going to add it to a second door soon – they’re the only two doors we go in/out of regularly.

      Honestly? I love it. Dog walker, house cleaner, sisters, mom, and me and DH all have different codes. Idea is that we can shut off any one code at any time – if we were to fire the house cleaner or get sick of sister’s visits (haha!), we could literally just shut them off from our phones or any place we have internet access.

      I couldn’t tell you where my key to my house is, although we have a single key hidden around the yard in the event of emergency. We didn’t do this for increased security – to your point that houses of all kinds are robbed daily – but convenience. If security is the goal, I don’t think this is a fix for that.

      • Daisy

        FWIW, I would not do this for a car., At least I always know where my house is, if broken in to…

        • Ms B

          Lojack/GPS solves the car problem. I definitely want one on my next car . . .

    • Anonymous

      We have a punch lock on one door, but there is a key backup. Other doors have keys. If the battery on the punch lock fails, we wanted to make sure we’re not locked out.

    • New Anon

      I have a keypad lock on the door from the garage to the house (it’s the door I always use). I have the key to it as well, but I have never had to use it. My car just needs the key on my person to start. I can’t recall the last time I had to pull my keys out of my purse to open a door.

      • Emmer

        This is my set up as well for my car and house. We also have a deadbolt that you can lock with a key, but we only use that on vacation for extra security.

        FWIW though I would never have a system that is operated only via my phone – too likely that my phone will die/break/get lost or stolen or forgotten at some point when I really need it.

    • Digby

      Keyless house, with security provided by large German shepherd who, unlike Senior Attorney, assumes bad intentions.

  20. Wildkitten

    I did Diet To Go based on a recc here and it’s actually great to have to not think about what i’m eating each day and also not be eating the same thing every day (the two things I did before.) If you want 25% off to try it the link is here: http://fbuy.me/ea26U (I also get a credit, but the 25% off is the best I’ve seen, so I’m sharing it both selfishly and selflessly)

    • APC

      Me too and I lost 3.6 lbs my first week!! And the food is pretty decent (some better than others). Seriously, whoever was that first recommender THANK YOU.

  21. Regent Blazer

    Thoughts? I can’t decide if I like the turned-up collar look or if it’s too prep school. I have a few extremely classic suits I can wear for court days, so this suit would not be for court, just for work (I’m a Biglaw associate and will be doing a federal clerkship soon).

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