This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
These tapered ankle pants are definitely going to be a part of my next Target drive-up order. (The ease of online shopping plus the near-instant gratification of in-store pickup. Does it get any better?)
I love the pull-on waistband and that the cotton-blend fabric has a bit of spandex for stretch and comfort. I’ll get the black pair and pair them with a tee and sweater blazer for a comfy, casual Friday look.
The pants are $25 and come in sizes XS–4X. They also come in four other colorways.
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Nepal recs
Any recs for 3 days in Kathmandu in September?
Anon
No but I am JEALOUS. Nepal is near the top of my bucket list.
Ellen
I want to go but I do am afraid of heights, so I would not climb. I do not mind a helicopter ride to see the mountains w/o going on a climb, and do not like the smell of Yak.
An.On.
Aside from the really obvious places (Pashupatinath and Swayambhunath temples, Durbar Square, and Thamel area), I also really, really enjoyed the Garden of Dreams right outside Thamel, it felt like a complete haven away from the traffic and air in the rest of the city.
I haven’t been there since the earthquake, I hope that you find it well!
Anon
Stay at the Dwarika hotel. Be mindful of the poverty everywhere though people are always smiling and uncomplaining.
Fallen
I went to Nepal this past winter and my biggest rec is don’t spend more than a day in Khatmandu. Instead, go to Pokhara and maybe do a trek if you have time. For food, stick to Indian/Asian food, and avoid American-like food!
Fallen
As far as what to do in Khatmandu, I would do the monkey Temple, the place where they cremate the bodies, and maybe do a heli ride to see Mt Everest base camp.
Elle
Good morning, Ladies. I’d like your insight into the backdoor Roth IRA process. My spouse and I have been maxing out our Roth IRAs for years but are hitting the joint income level where we can no longer contribute the maximum amount. In the coming years we will likely be inelligible to contribute at all. We do not have a Traditional IRA currently. FWIW, we are also maxing out contributions to our TSP accounts (federal gov equivalent to a 401k). I would open a Traditional IRA solely for the purpose of rolling post-tax money into the Roth IRA to save for retirement. Any implications I should be aware of? I’ve done my research but always appreciate the depth of responses here.
Anonymous
No, just do it and make sure your tax forms are filled out correctly next year.
joan wilder
I have a question–if it is post tax money being saved anyway, is there a special value of doing a backdoor Roth as opposed to just saving in a index fund with Fidelity/Vanguard etc with a target date like 2030/2040? Don’t you save the same but have more flexilibity should you need the funds earlier?
Anon
I think the point of the Roth is that you pay tax on the money now but the eventual distributions (and earnings) are tax-free, unlike with a non-retirement brokerage account.
Anonymous
+1
Runcible Spoon
Yes, once you’ve contributed the principal with after-tax funds, you don’t ever pay tax on the earnings.
Sad today
Healthy father in law was just diagnosed with mesothelioma at age 59 :( No symptoms, it was found incidentally on a CT of chest for a different purpose. He was diagnosed by Mayo Clinic in MN. Does anyone have any experience with mesothelioma diagnosis? All I know is the commercials.
Anon
I am so sorry. No help to offer, just hugs.
LawDawg
No direct experience, but my neighbor passed away from mesothelioma. He was a banker in Chicago so not subject to the usual exposures. He did a lot of diy projects on his house and his family spent $$$ on asbestos abatement in the basement prior to selling. It made them feel better to know that they were protecting others from the same thing. All the hugs to you and your family as you deal with this.
Anon
I’m so sorry
Anon
I am very sorry to hear about this diagnosis. We have a lot of lung cancer in our family, but not the mesothelioma type. While cancer is never great to have, his young age and finding it early are lucky things, in some ways, and will help him fight it.
It is very important to have good doctors, who stay on top of all of the newest treatments. The Mayo Clinic is great for this. It is important to ask about the newest treatments, and clinical trials that would be appropriate at every step of this process. In the cancer world, they are learning new things every day about newer treatments using the immune system to fight cancer and checking what gene mutations can be involved in each person’s cancer, and might be inherited in the family that increase the risk of cancer. It is important to use these new technologies, as sometimes treatments will be different based on your specific genetics/situation. Mayo should be all over this.
Do you guys live near FIL? Is he married/have a partner who his healthy and can be a strong advocate? Having a person present at every appointment with FIL to help ask questions (write them down ahead of time), write down answers, keep copies of all records/tests results, and coordinate appointments is essential.
Treating cancer is a long, difficult, stressful road – often just as hard for the caregiving partner. Developing a strong network to help is very important. Support groups for the person with cancer and the caregiver can help tremendously. Look for support groups at online bulletin boards specific for the cancers, local facebook groups, and at Cleveland Clinic. There are even lots of Zoom support groups.
Sometimes doctors get so focused on treating the cancer, they forget about treating the patient – quality of life. Mood, sleep, pain, stress, energy, appetite, GI symptoms etc… are the most important things day to day. Encourage your relatives to push the nurses, doctors and allied doctors to treat these things just as aggressive as the cancer. Being quick to ask about other doctors who may be seen occasionally for help – keeping up with a primary care doctor, a cancer psychologist/psychiatrist, a nutritionist, a pain specialist, physical therapy, a pulmonologist (lung doctor) can all be people to see at some point. And for sure, if the daily quality of life symptoms are significant and not well treated, and/or if the cancer spreads to additional location, getting a Palliative Care doctor to join the team is essential to improve both how FIL is feeling, and his long term survival.
Hopefully your spouse can increase their calls to his Dad, and start a regular/ritual series of calls. It is nice to have things to look forward to, when you are going through cancer treatment. Calls, visits, small family vacations, planning things FIL has always wanted to see/do…. now is the time. This is the time to ask FIL what he wants, and to ask all the questions you should have always asked about him, his life, his advice and his dreams. And his stories – and record some of them if you can.
Good luck.
Anon
The father on a childhood friend had it. While it undoubtedly contributed to his death and curtailed his activities, he lived more than 20 years after diagnosis, and his age at death was right at the national average. I hope your FIL has a similar outcome.
Anon
I recommend a vintage Coach “Fletcher” bag in the color of your choice. The leather is great, lots of colors, a great size, quality with screaming brand, and you should be able to find a very nice one for under $100. Tip: wash by submerging in lukewarm water with some blue Dawn. Let it soak for a few hours, rinse, stuff with towels to dry, and then condition. You will still love in 10 years, maybe more.
Anon
Nesting fail.
Flats Only
Although wouldn’t it be great if a cancer diagnosis was always met with a new handbag?
Nesprin
I’m really sorry. Prognosis depends a ton on stage/grade/his personal health status, and if it was an incidental finding he’s better off than most mesothelioma diagnoses, but mesothelioma is usually an ugly one.
Talk to palliative and hospice as soon as possible- you want to make sure that he is comfortable+ knows about options other than aggressive treatment, which is what his oncologist will focus on. There’s probably a patient advocate core, go talk to them as well- they’ll know the ins and outs of the hospital.
If he wants to go for aggressive treatment, Clinicaltrials.gov is the clearinghouse for open clinical trials.
Anon
Jeez…. he just got a diagnosis and you think he should talk to Hospice already? You want to send someone spiraling into depression already? You know nothing about his specific diagnosis/personal history.
Give him a moment to learn from his doctors, figure out what’s going on.
It is pretty awful to send someone who feels normal, who found cancer incidentally (!), to go talk to hospice immediately.
Anon
So sorry to hear this. No mesothelioma but my cousin has pulmonary fibrosis and lung cancer. He had a lung transplant (1 lung) 2 years ago and has made an incredible recovery: he is able to most everything he could do before he got sick (exercise, do house things, walk his dog, etc). The 3 years between diagnosis and transplant were bad (on oxygen, unable to do much more than sit in a chair all day while on oxygen), transplant and recovery was tough and scary, and life as a transplant recipient can be tough (limited in what he can eat, can’t drink (he was a former bartender), has to be really careful about infection – obviously this has been tough in a COVID world).
Cerulean
I don’t, but my stepmom went through Mayo for her cancer treatment and said they were so organized and the doctors were wonderful. Best wishes to your FIL, I’m so sorry.
So sorry
I’m so sorry to hear this. My grandfather was diagnosed with stage 1 mesothelioma about ten years ago in his early 70s after exhibiting mild but persistent symptoms. He underwent surgery to remove the pleura and tumor(s). I believe he underwent chemo and/or radiation as well, but my recollection of that is foggy. He passed away about 18 months after his diagnosis. As you probably already know, the disease develops for decades without symptoms. Once symptoms are apparent, mesothelioma typically closes in quickly. Since your FIL is only 59 and exhibiting zero systems, he may have a much longer timeline and more options than your typical mesothelioma patient. I hope he does. I can’t imagine the mental strain of feeling healthy but knowing what is likely to come.
My grandfather had excellent health insurance and quickly went to NYC for aggressive care. The experience there was night and day compared to the small town hospital where he started his care. I suspect your FIL is likely already in excellent hands at the Mayo Clinic. There are many support groups, and my family found them to be a great source of information and emotional support. Lung cancer is very different than meso and it can be comforting to talk to someone who knows exactly what you’re experiencing. Be mindful of ring theory and ensure that you are getting adequate support for yourself so you’re not dumping your feelings on your spouse, your spouse’s siblings, and you’re in law(s).
I’m so sorry.
Anon
A lot of in-house and deal contacts in my city WFH. If I meet them for lunch, I now need a phone, wallet, keys, reading glasses and sunglasses. I need a purse that is not notably branded or known to be pricey (but what, exactly?). Currently using an LL Bean fanny pack, so that is a bit too sporty (it is also a color I call “safety mango,” which is like safety orange but lighter).
AIMS
I think this is what Cuyana is for. Madewell can also work.
Anon
Portland Leather Goods. No obvious branding, but obvious quality. And they are reasonably priced.
Anon
+1, and they have an ‘almost perfect’ selection of products that are cheaper due to minor flaws that you may not even notice
bird in flight
+1 to Portland Leather and the almost perfect section. I have a wallet and a circle bag from them that I got from the almost perfect section and I could not figure out where the imperfections were when they came.
Anon
+2 OP Portland Leather Mini Tote will carry all your stuff and can be carried in the hand by the short handles, worn on the shoulder, or worn crossbody (my most common way of wearing it)
Anon
Portland leather has a store literally down the street from me and I have yet to go in. My mission this weekend!
Anonymous
Cubans or Polene if you want polished. Clare V for more casual and edgy.
Anonymous
I just bought a Clare V giant fanny pack (which isn’t that giant, TBH) and I love it. Nice leather. Very understated. No branding.
Cat
The Jcrew Edie bag is great for polished but plain – https://www.jcrew.com/m/womens/categories/accessories/bags/crossbody/edie-italian-leather-bag/MP914?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=glazed-pecan&colorProductCode=BP508
NY CPA
Maybe look at Everlane? I got my sister a leather tote from there and she really likes the quality. They have crossbodies too.
Anonymous
I’m honestly baffled. Literally buy any purse. Go to target. How are you possibly bringing an LLBean Fanny pack to a work meeting? This is like posting asking for work shoes to replace the neon jellies you usually wear.
Anon
This comment is pretty harsh but I do agree that a Fanny pack looks pretty strange at a work meeting.
Anon
OP here. I’m not! Promise. The reading glasses are new and resuming my wallet vs a phone pocket mean that my old bag (a clutch that fits in my work laptop bag) is now too small. And I just planned a dinner for September.
Anon
In my mind, a client dinner needs a step up in formality from a casual client lunch meeting.
Your post doesn’t make it terribly clear but I assume the people you meet with outsource work to you (not the other way around)? If so, and unless you are a graphic designer or some such creative role, an orange fanny pack is going to read as somewhat clueless to professional norms. If your services are so in-demand that no one cares and that is Your Thing, so be it. Just make it an intentional decision and not a naive one.
Anon
I think OP meant in her original post (although it wasn’t clear until her follow up) is that she uses an orange Fanny pack in her personal life, and that is why she needs something different for work, for which she used to use a clutch for but now has too much stuff for the clutch.
Anon
I agree! Or a department store near you. If you’re just looking for any purse that looks relatively professional, just go look and pick one out.
Anon
This is why department stores still exist! Go, wander the purse section, and get a feel for what you like.
Anon
This!!!
Anon
Well, you are reading a fashion blog, that answers questions exactly like this every day so…. maybe we should be asking you guys why you are reading/posting here if you aren’t aware of this?
You honestly think the OP doesn’t know cheap superstores or boring Department stores exist?
She was asking for specific recommendations.
Anon
Maybe Im lame, but department stores are anything but boring.
Anon
And yet you have given no specific recommendations but “wander…” in a “department store”…. as if only one existed.
Anon
I mean, the OP didn’t give anything other than “no labels” to describe her taste or price range, so “Go to a department store and buy what you like” is as good advice as anything else.
Anon
I’m just curious about the not pricey or branded angle. I work in-house and plenty of people have designer bags, shoes, etc. what’s the concern? I second Cuyana for this though.
Cat
I commented above but did have the same reaction. It doesn’t sound like the OP is meeting with people where it would be tone deaf to have an expensive bag. I know outside counsel makes enough money to spend $$$$ on a purse so it doesn’t surprise or offend me to see them carrying one.
Anon
A lot of in-house people make . . . Not a lot of money. If I am driving to a suburban restaurant where we park in a common parking lot, I also have issues with having a notably expensive car. Somehow to me, a Honda Odyssey sits better with clients than an X7. They will pay for outside counsel but don’t want to see a car payment that they need to fund. So that and the purse to me are things I keep quiet (and while I have more than one purse, I just get one car choice).
Anon
This is so interesting to me. I am in-house, make plenty of money (although not as much as the attorney whose invoice I just approved @ $1089/hr), and couldn’t care less what bags or cars my outside counsel has. I am paying you for a service, I DGAF what you do with your disposable income!
Cat
hm, ok. A lot of assumptions here. Your attitude comes off as kind of patronizing since while we might not make Biglaw $ many positions pay very well and have the benefit of options, etc. And when I’m in the burbs visiting family the parking lots have plenty of upscale cars. Just as likely to see a Tesla as an Odyssey…
Anon
Not a lot of money compared to big law, but most in house people make good money still. Enough money where they could have a nice purse if they wanted it!
No Problem
I think this is all relative. “Not a lot of money” to an outside counsel person making $300k+ is what, $150k? That’s still actually a lot of money. If you were talking about clients who are all in the nonprofit sector and definitely making $50k, okay, that’s actually not a lot of money for anyone past entry level. They know you are outside counsel and making bank. Don’t shove it in someone’s face by carrying a different Birkin every time you meet, but drive whatever car you want to drive and carry whatever normal looking purse you want. The only people I side-eye for having lots of expensive luxury items are people who I know didn’t spend their own money on them (aka the 20-something making $60k driving a Land Rover or shopping at Saks), and mostly that’s because I know they’re either in debt up to their eyeballs or have someone else paying for it, in which case I’m over here sarcastically saying “must be nice!”
Anon
Are you the OP?
I’m not sure where you’re getting this information, but I will just say it’s not my experience as an in-house lawyer. I know that the people in private practice often make more than me. I also make enough that I could buy a nice purse and certainly begrudge anyone else’s nice purse or nice car.
Anon
My financial advisor tells me she has the opposite problem. Clients have looked at her car and said they’d be concerned if she doesn’t drive something nice. They figure an expensive car means she’s good at her job (and good at making her clients money)
Anon
Yeah, this is a radical misunderstanding of in-house legal comp!
Anonymous
Hahahahh. No. I’m in house we don’t give a rats tush. I know you get paid well.
Anon
I’ve been in house for 20 years. We do just fine. Certainly enough that I’m not jealous of somebody’s car or purse. This is silly.
Anon
Omg can’t you people just answer her question about the purse?
Cat
10:17, I actually did, above. But with the extra context in this thread maybe she doesn’t actually need to buy one and can carry a bag she has!
anon
I understand the desire not to offend, but I promise that in-house counsel know how much more money you make. They also don’t think about it, or care about it, that much. Frankly, the only time I think about how much my outside counsel make is when I’m putting on my OOO and thinking about how nice it is that I no longer work on all my vacations.
anon
Yeah this is crazy to me. I’m in house in tech (so probably make more money than the average in house position) and would not be remotely offended if I saw that outside counsel had very expensive things. In fact I would certainly expect it given what they bill at.
Anon
I’m so confused about how this argument started. Is someone saying Cuyana is flashy in some way? It’s not status-y at all unless you’re one of us nerds who knows what it is (probably rare) and even then it’s not like “ooh you spent so much money on that bag” it more like “ooh you got a high quality bag for a reasonable amount of money.”
Cat
None of the bags recommended are flashy. We were just questioning the OPs motivation in buying a plain midrange bag in the first place, bc her assumption above that poor in house counsel will find a designer bag flashy is wrong in many cases!
Anonie
“A lot of in-house people make . . . Not a lot of money.” This is very ignorant. A lot of law firm lawyers also make… not a lot of money. A lot of government lawyers make… not a lot of money. Surprise, people in all types of jobs make all types of salaries. It is never a good look to be ignorant and make unsupported generalizations.
And oh by the way, carrying an expensive bag has almost nothing to do with how much money an individual person makes. Plenty of people with no income have designer bags gifted to them by husbands and family. Or someone with a middling income could save up for it. Or get it secondhand.
All of which is to say, the premise of OP’s question, that she somehow has to disguise her earning capacity via carrying a non branded bag, to lower herself to the level of her in-house contacts is… flawed. And she is rightly being called out on it.
InDesign
OMG I am loving all the comments on in-house money and bags and cars. I am a (recently laid off) tech worker and this is just fascinating conversation and details about a whole other area that I have no overlap with in my life at all. (Although I did have a startup founder I once consulted for tell me that he preferred I ditch my canvas bag for a chic laptop cover b/c if he was paying me UX designer money, he wanted me to look more the part [and that clearly did not mean *canvas* lol].)
Anon
I’m going to trust OP on her reasons for wanting what she wants. Maybe pricey/branded just looks off on her. A have a friend who has a fairly highly compensated job and a highly compensated spouse, but she’s just not a fancy/branded/whatever person. She buys all her clothes at Old Navy and similar, but her husband insists on buying her expensive, visibly branded purses and she carries them most of the time. She would never pick them herself.
If you want a non-leather option, Muji has several very simple cross body bags that should fit what you need.
Anon
She didn’t say that, she specifically couched it as a client issue.
Anon
This kind of nitpicking of the minor details of somebody’s post is so tedious and annoying.
Cat
Eh I think it’s fair. Seems like the OP was asking the question on the assumption that clients would find a luxury bag off-putting, but actually does like luxury bags. We’re here to tell her that her concern is unfounded in many cases if she doesn’t want to throw away $100-$200 on a “client facing” bag unnecessarily.
Anon
Maybe because there are so many in house lawyers here, but it doesn’t feel like a minor detail to say or imply you need a certain purse that doesn’t look expensive so as not to upset a whole huge group of people, most of whom couldn’t care less.
anon
Maybe OP’s client base would find this off putting. Not every lawyer represents companies that have the budget to pay for outside counsel from biglaw, or even midlaw, depending on location. Not every in house lawyer gets paid what in house lawyers in large companies get paid. I represent a lot of small business owners who would probably not be thrilled to think they were funding a lavish lifestyle, but I also don’t think many of them would be able to recognize an expensive bag.
Anonymous
Everlane, Madewell. Or pull up the handbag section on a department store site (e.g. Macy’s, Nordstrom) and filter the bags until you get something in a color, size, and strap length that you like.
Anonymous
+1 Madewell!
No Problem
Purses from most mall brands (Kate Spade, Coach, Michael Kors, etc.) can be had for well under $200 if you get them on sale or from an outlet, or full price for not much more. Personally I would not be offended, shocked, or surprised by a business contact carrying a purse of that caliber/price point even if it’s branded or obviously from one of those brands (I can spot a KS from a mile away even if the logo is tiny just due to the style). I also would not be offended by a business contact carrying a luxury bag. Do you have reason to think that your contacts would turn their noses up at these common and relatively inexpensive brands? Or are you looking for something that actually is more expensive but reads as more middle of the road?
Anon
Fossil.
Anon
All of my purses and work totes come from Target or TJ Maxx and they look fine to me, but I’m guessing you don’t want something that cheap. When I hit a career milestone I plan on treating myself to a Madewell tote, would that be more up your alley?
Anon
You should go for Cuyana for that career milestone over Madewell. Better quality.
Anon
The extra $100 is probably a dealbreaker for me (I am neither in big law or in house lol – I am not a lawyer!!)
Anon
Idk – you can find decent, non-branded leather handbags on TJMaxx. This one might be a touch larger than OP needs, but I think it looks polished but not ostentatious: https://tjmaxx.tjx.com/store/jump/product/beauty-accessories-handbags-leather-handbags/Made-In-Italy-Leather-Double-Handle-Satchel/1000821670?colorId=NS3161572&pos=1:53&N=2296725226
Anon
Agree that Cuyana is the right answer.
Peaches
Two options from smaller companies:
$200, four colors: https://wpstandard.com/collections/tote-bags/products/the-contigo-crossbody-tote-bag?variant=41207157194889
$350, two colors: https://treefairfax.com/leather-handbags/leather-bucket-bag
Formerly Lilly
I get where you’re coming from. I’m a government employee in an area where the prevalent attitude is “no new taxes” coupled with “I pay your salary”. People want to see me looking polished but not pricey. Challenge accepted!
If black will do, I can really recommend the microfiber bags from Vera Bradley. They are solid black, not a crazy pattern. I have sitting beside me right now a black quilted microfiber Vera Bradley tote bag that I bought about twenty years ago. It still looks new. It is well made, has no visible branding, and no extraneous decorative doodahs. I’ve got a purse of the same material that has also held up well. For something a bit sportier, look at Sherpani bags.
Anon
Yes, I work in local government and I feel this 100%. Need to look polished, can’t look expensive (I work in a very poor city), and I make 60k in a MCOL/HCOL area so I am balling on a budget.
anon.
Lo and Sons Waverly. If you like Fanny packs it can be used that way in some situations, but can also be a normal bag. This is your answer!
Highlander
Lo & Sons Pearl. How has this not been offered as a solution? Wait for a 30 percent off sale.
Anonymous
Portland Leather!!
Anon
I recommend a vintage Coach “Fletcher” bag in the color of your choice. The leather is great, lots of colors, a great size, quality with screaming brand, and you should be able to find a very nice one for under $100. Tip: wash by submerging in lukewarm water with some blue Dawn. Let it soak for a few hours, rinse, stuff with towels to dry, and then condition. You will still love in 10 years, maybe more.
Anon
*Without screaming brand
Annony
Someone at Target is a Clare V fan because the current selection of bags are remarkably Clare V-like.
anon
I carry this exact amount of stuff because I now also need reading glasses. Go on poshmark and search for jcrew devon camera bag. No logos, nice leather, good size for what you are carrying. outside pocket a phone fits in. I’m 5’2 and I can carry it crossbody or on my shoulder. It’s about the size of a gucci soho disco. I get compliments on it all the time and have it in more than one color.
ALT
I have this and concur!! It is my go to errands bag
Runcible Spoon
Portland Leather “almost perfect” toaster bag. Pick from a wide variety of colors and leather textures.
Anon
If you were deciding between traveling to Europe (Munich and Vienna) with a tour group or by yourself, which would you pick and why? I’m deciding between the two and am leaning towards going solo because having more control over what I do appeals to me but I’m worried I might get a little bored/lonely by myself. Curious what other people would do.
Anon
Absolutely alone, but I hate forced socialization more than I worry about being lonely. Also my interests are a bit esoteric so I would be highly unlikely to find a group who wanted to allocate their time the same way that I would.
Anne-on
This. Even with my family I built in a full day of ‘mom goes off and nerds out on fashion/art while dad/kid go hit the science or natural history museum’. London will always have my heart for putting the V&A right across from the science and natural history museums, that was SO handy when I’ve gone with mixed age groups!
My family also needs a lot of ‘staring off into space quietly to recharge’ time. Being part of a large group, for multiple days in a row, would NOT be a vacation for me.
Anon
I’d go alone, especially since you’re going to very safe places that are used to many Americans. There are certain locations that I’d only travel to with a tour group, but Germany and Austria are not those places.
Anonymous
Agree with this. But I am very much an introvert and tour groups are torture. Know thyself.
An.On.
Ditto.
Anon
Go alone but with a day tour the first full day. I went to a European city alone and the tour helped me get my bearings the first day. I also felt more comfortable walking alone for the rest of the trip
Anon
Alone. I’ve done group tours in two countries where it’s hard for Americans to travel solo (Cuba and Iran) and I hated it both times (the tour aspect, not the destinations). My dad and I played hooky from the Cuba tour one day and it was by far the best day of the trip. There’s no way in h3ll I would ever do a group tour in Western Europe, which is incredibly easy for Americans with no foreign language skills to navigate.
Anonymous
Is this an American visa issue with Cuba? As a Canadian I don’t think of Cuba as any different than Jamaica or Aruba etc. I find it odd to see it lumped in with Iran.
Cerulean
IIRC with the embargo, Americans could go for “educational” purposes, so tours would be promoted as educational to get around that requirement.
Anon
There are US laws restricting the reasons a U.S. citizen can go to Cuba. If you don’t have family, the easiest way is on a cultural exchange which is basically a guided tour
Anon
Yeah I’m not sure entirely sure what the situation is now but at the time I went Americans could only go for educational purposes, so most people booked a group tour that provided a slate of educational activities. I think you technically can go solo, but you’d have to arrange your own “educational” activities which is complicated. You definitely can’t just go lie on the beach so it’s very different than Jamaica for us.
Seventh Sister
Someone should definitely try to put together a Barbie tour to Cuba because Ken’s job in the Barbie movie is “beach.” I’d argue that you could have an educational tour where you lie on the beach to learn about your job, which is beach. I wish my job could be beach.
Anon
Hahaha I wish my job could be beach too.
Anon
It’s illegal for Americans to go there except for certain purposes. We can’t go for tourism (officially). People do go illegally (mainly via Cancun or Canada), but that’s risky especially for people in certain professions like law where you have a license that can be revoked for dishonesty. I know it’s very different for the rest of the world, but for Americans Cuba is incredibly difficult to travel to. Until very recently, there wasn’t even commercial air service. I went to Havana in late 2016 and was on one of the first commercial flights in more than 50 years. It’s nothing like Jamaica or Aruba for us.
Anonymous
Alone but do some day tours if you want to meet people — I like Devour Tours but there are lots of different ones out there.
Anne-on
I typically go solo (or with family) or on rare occassions hire specialty tour guides. In the major cities the ‘big’ tourist attractions these days have totally decent self audio guides or group tours given by that attraction. Beyond that if I really want to go super deep into a particular attraction (for me, it’s usually art) I’d rather hire a specialty tour guide as the large group tour guides tend to be jack of all trades.
Alternately, if you want to do zero planning and just show up – groups are awesome for that! My older parents love groups for that reason (they are also super sociable and enjoy the group meals). I’m more introverted and our family has strong food preferences, plus we’re very comfortable using the internet, so I don’t see the value add in a group tour.
Anonymous
These are both very safe cities with excellent public transport so very easy to get around. I would go on your own but book a few half day or even full day group tours for various sites depending on your interests (museums/cooking classes etc)
Anonymous
By myself. Those are easy places to travel. And I’d sign up for a walking tour or a food tour or a day trip at some point.
Senior Attorney
+1
Cat
I would go alone bc I hate being on someone else’s schedule and priorities and forced together time, but pick and choose local tours (like a food tour) for social time.
Anon
+1. I’ve been to Europe solo and did one-off tours when it suited me that were lovely. OP, Mike’s Bike tour is a good one in Munich. At least, it was 15 years ago.
Anon
This is the way. Go alone but book a few day tours that interest you.
texasanon
I would go alone BUT I would sign up for at least a 1 or 2 toursbylocals or viator tours or whatever local tour group you want to use so I could have a little socialization here and there
I would probably also look at what female only higher-end hostels are available. I have had really good luck staying in 4-6 bed hostel rooms over the years and meeting people that way to have dinner or drinks with.
towelie
I’d go alone b/c being in a tour group sounds like my worst nightmare and Munich/Vienna are incredibly safe and easy cities to navigate alone.
Anon
I would only consider a group tour if it’s somewhere where I would feel unsafe traveling alone (which, is not major cities in most of Europe)
Anon
Solo …. And I prefer Munich. Great city, lots of day trips possible incl Salzburg and Neuschwanstein.
OOO
I got Napa cabbage in my CSA this week. Should I attempt to make kimchi?
Anonymous
Personally, with a great Napa cabbage, I’d make slaw or cabbage roll-ups, but you certainly try making kimchi.
j
The NYT has a great cabbage and tofu stir fry recipe (by Hetty Liu McKinnon, I think) that we’re now obsessed with. Roast it in the oven and it’s super easy and fast.
KS IT Chick
I love homemade kimchi! Mother-in-law’s kimchi recipes are great for starting out. They also have kits with all the non-fresh ingredients included.
Anon
I’d roast a chicken on top of it, check out Smitten Kitchen for a good recipe.
Ellen
Or wedding chicken, which I have the recipe. Just email me if you want the recipe!
Anonymous
I recommend Maangchi’s recipes for kimchi!
Anon
Me too!
Anan
Anything that puts kimchi in your life is always a YES! in my book.
Anonymous
Why note? As it so happens, I’m planning to make congee (Chinese rice porridge) with Napa cabbage as my next cooking experiment.
New Language
Has anyone here learned a new language to fluency as an adult? If so, how and what was the time commitment?
ANON
Not me but I met expats when i was living in china where they picked it up. It’s not like college level but they can be conversational and had good accents after a year of living there. but you need to actually speak to people and not be shy about it. They were taking classes, making friends with locals and worked at the local office of an international firm
Anne-on
Not me, but colleagues who’ve relocated to Germany and France have reported the following – they were fluent conversationally within ~12-18 months, ‘business’ language required formal language classes to master, and written language is still not as strong but passable after 2-3years. They both also took language courses immediately and kept them up for years. They also noted that colleagues would/will switch to English in business meetings for speed but would happily talk with them in the native language on breaks or on non-urgent matters. One colleague said they’d asked to be a silent participant in some meetings where business German was being spoken because it’s apparently hard to hear otherwise outside of language training (not on tv/podcasts, etc.)
Anecdata
It’s going to vary a lot by person and by circumstances but as a data point-
I moved to (and lived and worked in) a French speaking country for three years ages 25-28, with zero French language skills (but competent in Spanish). Work was in French; but I mostly spoke English at home so partial immersion. I didn’t take formal classes, but I spent ~30 minutes/day doing Duolingo from about 6 months in to year 2; trying to fill in some of the gaps I wasn’t getting naturally. My work hired a translator for me, so early on I was getting a lot of “hear someone say X in French, and then learn what it meant in English” which was very helpful. I also made a habit early on of trying to read documents in french first, before asking for them to be translated, and then trying to figure out which words I was missing.
By about 6-12 months, I felt like I was mostly getting the gist of what was said at meetings – like I could follow the general flow well enough to not need live translation of everything, and just ask my translator for confirmation of the more complex bits at breaks; and by 12-18 months, I could mostly speak for myself at those same meetings, and sound reasonably competent. But even at 3 years, no one would have called me fluent – for example, I was starting to see occasional situations where I could be asked a question in French and just “understand” it and respond – but only 10% of the time; most of the time I was still mentally translating into English, thinking of my response in English, and then thinking “ok, how do I say that in French”. My writing and spelling was also pretty weak – for example, I’d send my own informal emails in French for internal stuff; but for anything like a formal report or external communications, I’d still request translation support.
Anonymous
I started learning German in my 20s after I met DH who has excellent English but whose first language is German. I was already English/French bilingual as I did my secondary schooling in French. Depends on what you mean by fluency – can I read to the kids in German or get through a 2-3 week vacation conversing with my in-laws only in German? Yes. Can I write a formal business letter or legal opinion? No. Reading and hearing are much easier than speaking or writing in any language. With speaking and writing you are generating the content so it’s harder. Practice writing simple sentences right from the beginning.
The time it will take depends on a few factors:
(1) your target language – languages that are closer to English like German, French or Spanish will generally be picked up more quickly than languages with a different alphabet or writing system like Arabic or Japanese
(2) are you taking formal classes – you want to take at least 3 hours a week of classes – preferable in two 1.5 hr blocks
(3) how immersed you can be in the language (watching tv in the language, labeling your pantry in the target language, including the language in your everyday life outside of formal classes, speaking it out loud every day)
(4) natural aptitude – I see this all the time with my twins- same language exposure since birth but one clearly takes after DH in his ability to pick up languages
(5) level of fluency you are trying to achieve – if you work in a specific profession you may need to take additional classes to work on medical or engineering etc
Just like babies learn language, you need to immerse yourself. The more you do that, the faster you will learn. Think listening the music, audiobooks in the language, reading the news in that language. You can switch the language on Disney Plus or Netflix to other languages and watch with the subtitles on in your target language. Kids shows like Bluey are a great place to start. I would estimate 2 years assuming weekly classes and a European language. Conversational in 6 months, good proficiency in a year but full oral and written fluency after that is the tricky bit.
language learning
Not quite fluent yet, but I suspect my progress report may be useful:
I took Spanish in high school (through AP) and for one semester in college (the fourth semester of the standard college Spanish sequence). Didn’t study abroad, never used it again. One of my parents-in-law is from a Spanish-speaking country, my spouse’s nuclear family spoke (and speaks) Spanish when they are together as a family, and my spouse and I wanted our kids to be Spanish speakers.
So, we put our first baby in a Spanish speaking childcare situation and started speaking Spanish as much as possible with the kid when we’re home. The kid learned Spanish so well he mostly didn’t learn any English until he was 3+, so it turns out that “as much as possible” means “all the time”. My Spanish has improved hugely over the last few years, and what others say is correct: you have to just speak a lot. I think the time commitment will depend entirely on what kind of time you’re spending–whether you’re working at it all day at work, moving to a foreign country without an English speaking housemate, talking every single day for an hour or two but starting at a toddler level, or working with a native-speaking conversation partner once or twice a week.
For me, I’d like our family to do a session at the Concordia language villages when are kids are all old enough that they’d have fun–I think the week of Spanish only would be really helpful to me, and it would be a good opportunity for me to get some real focused teaching support with the various grammar gaps it’s become clear I have (pronouns and the subjunctive, mostly).
Anon
I speak 3 languages (English, German, Russian) and am tourist conversational at a basic level in a few more. Here is my experience: if you already speak one foreign language, it is easier to learn another. BUT you will have a period where you forget/struggle with your primary foreign language. This is apparently because as we learn another language, the way it gets stored or mapped in the brain activates alongside the others. So for example, you might be speaking Spanish saying ‘pan’ but somewhere in the background is also bread/brot/hleb.
Also keep in mind that babies spend around a year just listening. It takes time to train your ear to be able to distinguish another language. What distinct words are being said, compared to just a slurry of unfamiliar sounds? Eventually you begin to recognize these sounds as packets. This is why people learn much faster in immersion.
What is said is different languages is not a 1:1 translation. You not only have to learn words, and grammar, and sentence structure, but you need to learn what is said in the other language. You only learn this from exposure and practice. If you haven’t been exposed to a situation, you may be able based on what you know so far to manage, but there may also be a particular way native speakers would respond in that situation that you haven’t heard yet.
I think you can get to tourist conversational in 3-6 months. Fluency takes years. Close to native level fluency can take a decade or more.
Anon
State Department’s foreign service institute offers a rundown of how long it takes to reach certain levels in a given language. For example, to get to limited proficiency (“The person is able to satisfy routine social demands and limited work requirements. This is a limited ability to converse and really only a step towards real fluency”) in German or French, you would need 4 months at 5 hours per day. You can also refer to the European common framework for languages on what kinds of abilities can be built along the spectrum of no knowledge > fluency. I’d say it takes 2-3 years to get to German B2 depending on how much time you’re able to commit, and whether you get immersion (really essential).
Anon
Hello! Can you talk to me about Asheville for a potential girls trip (season: likely early Fall)? I see it mentioned here all the time as a suggestion of where to go. I know nothing. Specifically any recs or tips for places to stay would be appreciated. I’m partial to doing hotels for these for logistics reasons, but open to airbnbs if that is far and away the obvious choice. Where do we fly into? Do we need rental cars? Coming from all over. Thanks in advance!
Anon
I know it’s very popular but I didn’t love Asheville. It’s incredibly crowded (probably especially in fall? I went in spring) and the nature stuff and food scene both underwhelmed me. I’m not a beer drinker, so I didn’t do the brewery thing. Asheville has an airport, but it’s also pretty common to fly into the more major Charlotte airport and drive a couple hours. I think you’ll want a car.
Anonymous
I’d second this. I’m missing the hype on this town. The biltmore kind of creeped me out and wasn’t interesting. (There are a lot large gilded age estates where I live so maybe that’s a me thing? ) The vibe was less “hip” and more “hippie.” Food was good but not memorable. Lots of drug use and homelessness for a small town. Just not a place I wanted to spend time in. I did get the vibe that it was unique from the areas surrounding it which I think makes fun if you’re quasi-local, just not destination-worthy. I think Charleston would be more fun for a girls trip.
anon
I’m from NC and Asheville will always hold a special place in my heart, but I can see how it could be underwhelming, particularly if you are coming from a place that has tons of natural beauty already/lots of culture. I can’t imagine being super impressed if I came from Denver for example. I think if your options are the rest of NC, Georgia, Alabama, TN, SC…. Asheville is very appealing. I love it for long weekends, but I don’t think I would pick it as a destination if I was far enough away to fly. If OP wanted to use Asheville as a base to explore the mountains in the summer, that would be a different story. But just focusing on the city I think is not worthy of a big trip.
Anon
I’m not coming from a place with tons of natural beauty (a fairly generic part of the Midwest) but still didn’t find Asheville + environs especially scenic compared to home. It was pleasant. But so is my Midwest home state. It was nothing dramatic.
Anon
I went to Asheville last January and loved it!!
I would recommend renting a car, depending on what you’re doing. If you’re into hiking and outdoors activities, then you’ll need one for sure. There are lots of hikes within an hour of the city.
You can get away without a car if you stay in a hotel downtown. We stayed at a bed and breakfast that was lovely! It was called The Carolina. My boyfriend is a chef, and he was very impressed with the breakfasts (even requested a couple of recipes!)
We spent a lot of time going to restaurants and hiking. My favorite restaurant was Chai Pani. It had just won a James Beard award and was absolutely packed, but it was super worth it. There’s also a really cool used bookstore that has a champagne bar inside that was unusual and memorable.
Have fun!!!
Anon
I liked the AC Hotel. It is centrally located – you can walk to a lot of restaurants. And if you want to drive, it’s easy access to the garage and your car. I would get a car, so you can drive the Blue Ridge Parkway. It’s really pretty and worth seeing. You can fly into Asheville or Charlotte. Charlotte is a little further away, but it has a lot more flights. Make restaurant reservations early – I like Curate, Chai Pani, and Limones. There are a lot of great restaurants, coffee shops and breweries worth checking out. I liked spending an afternoon exploring the Biltmore gardens. For activities – I really enjoyed ziplining and driving the parkway. I loved it and it’s a perfect girls trip. Only caveat is that they have a significant homeless problem. I was up at 7 a.m. to go work at a coffee shop and was harassed
anon
Agree that Asheville can be super crowded and I think fall is peak season. Some alternatives to consider would be Hendersonville (like a smaller Asheville – about 30 minutes away, and near great hiking, has a cute downtown, etc.) or Greenville, SC (super fun town with great outdoor stuff).
Anon
Or Old Edwards Inn in Highlands. I’ve seen some influencers post about stays there and it looks dreamy.
Anon
Or Old Edwards Inn in Highlands. I’ve seen some influencers post about stays there and it looks dreamy.
Anonymous
Fall is definitely peak season and it will be crowded. Early Fall before the leaves change might not be as terrible. But agree Old Edwards Inn in Highlands or Grove Park Inn would be good girls weekend trips if you just want to chill at a resort in the mountains (they are $$ though).
IrishMidori
Asheville regional airport is cute and convenient, and if you’re near an allegiant hub, cheap to fly into.
If you are not necessarily wed to doing the nightlife/downtown thing, and just want mountains and weather, the Grove Park Inn is magical. It’s expensive, but the spa is worth every bit. You can spend several days just at the Inn enjoying the beautiful grounds, in the spa, playing golf, hiking, and dining. Or you can Uber into town for a night if you want.
NY CPA
Seconding the recommendation of the Grove Park Inn and its spa
Formerly Lilly
The Backstairs Tour at Biltmore house is fascinating. The wine tasting is fun, as is the roof top tour. However, don’t do as we did and enjoy the wine tasting to the fullest extent possible right before the rooftop tour. Not my smartest moment.
Anonymous
Where are you coming from? I would literally never pick Asheville as a place to fly to. If you’re driving, great. Flying? It literally cannot be worth it. It’s cute, but it’s one strip, it’s very crowded. The Grove Park is nice, but very dated. (They did a nice update on the spa though.)
Mrs. Jones
The spa at Grove Park Inn is amazing.
Anonie
If you like history and/or ghost tours, be sure to do a tour with Haunted Asheville. It was so fun and really informative about the history of the city! Also, go to City Bakery for the best cinnamon roll you’ll ever have in your life and French Broad Chocolate Lounge for some wonderful sweets. And I loved the Biltmore! There are also a ton of cool boutiques in the downtown area. Asheville’s a neat city.
Paging Senior Attorney on Argentina
I saw yesterday you were asking about traveling to Buenos Aires & didn’t get a ton of responses. It’s an amazing place & I hope you have an awesome time!
The money situation is interesting- there’s an official exchange rate & a black market exchange rate which are very different from each other, so I wouldn’t get money out of an ATM while you’re there. When we went in Feb., the major credit card companies made a decision to be closer to the unofficial exchange rate, so if you can, use credit cards. You’ll hear people all over the place saying “cambio” in the major tourist area around Casa Rosada but I wouldn’t exchange there. You can ask at the hotel what rate they exchange at but I wouldn’t change too much money since most places accept cards.
Also heads up that the season is the opposite of Northern Hemisphere so if you’re going in Dec., it will be summer.
Gelato is amazing there & there are often multiple gelato places on each block. They are delicious & have multiple flavors of chocolate & dulce de leche. You can’t go wrong with most places.
Bosques de Palermo is kind of like the Central Park of BA- lots of nice walking paths, no cars, a big lake in the middle & a few restaurants along the northern side. There’s also a beautiful Japanese Garden right next to it that is worth visiting. The MELBA & the other major art museum are worth seeing. The Ex-Zoo as it is called can be a fun walk as well- they’ve basically populated the zoo with local-to-Argentina animals that have free reign over the place.
There are open air markets that are great- San Telmo is huge & can be a bit overwhelming/ touristy/ prone to pick pockets. There’s also an open air market on weekends near the Plaza Armenia in Palermo Viejo that is much smaller/ local and great. I also highly recommend Plaza Armenia & Palermo as a great neighborhood to walk around. We love La Panera Rosa for breakfast (and there are multiple locations around the city).
Recoleta is the fancy part of town and can be fun to walk through the cemetery there. The area around the Bocas stadium can also be fun, although its a bit less safe of an area. Puerto Madero is also a fun part of the city to spend time at- they reclaimed a bunch of land and converted warehouses.
My in-laws are from Argentina and so they’re very safety conscious. They would encourage you not to wear any flashy jewelry and potentially even to be careful to use your iphone b/c someone might try to steal it. Argentines are amazing people who struggle with a generally incompetent government and have found creative ways to deal with a difficult situation. The food will be extremely cheap & generally very good. Argentines do not like spicy food so be prepared for a lot of meat & potatoes (although they will often offer smashed squash (calabaza) as a side dish which I highly recommend.
Have fun!
Senior Attorney
Wow! Thank you so much for this!! We are having a Zoom call with our traveling companions over the weekend and this will be super helpful!
Any thoughts about Mendoza?
Chl
I enjoyed my trout and wine tour in Mendoza!
NYCer
If you’re considering other Argentina destinations, we also loved Bariloche and Iguazu Falls (in addition to Patagonia, but that is a much more involved trip). We stayed at the Four Seasons in BA – it was great, but it was in 2010 so there may be better options now. :)
Anonymous
Argentina was and is on my bucket list. I went as a trailing spouse to a workshop in San Martin and enjoyed it. San Martin is a village with welsh-style (effect of earlier immigration from Wales) stone cottages and gardens. Small hikes on the Argentina/Chile border. An entertaining afternoon in Bariloche where the students experienced snow and skiing for the first time. Spent a couple of days in Buenos Aires, mostly walking around Boca, Recoleta, and other parks; went to the Teatro Colonna and can recommend that if there something of interest on at the time. Other workshop instructors went to the waterfalls on the border with Brazil. I would have loved to go to Mendoza and it is still on my list; well-traveled friends lived there for a time and highly recommend it. Patagonia is also still on the list.
Anonymous
Continuation of Argentina recommendations: If you go to Bariloche beware the tourist chocolate – a lot is made with lard! But coffee shops and plain baked goods were good; and quiet bars were often really pleasant – and good places to wait before dinner could be hoped for! At dinner, I found the large portions of red meat and potatoes overwhelming. But the red wine made up for it. And shopping for low-key but unusual birthday gifts for everybody that year was the easiest I have ever experienced.
SF in House
I tried to post a separate comment, not sure if it will post as I did not even get the “awaiting moderation.”
We did a great empanada class at https://www.tierranegragourmet.com/cookingclasses. We also enjoyed a city bike tour booked through Viator.
A former colleague (native of BA) had these recommendations:
“I can recommend some restaurants in Buenos Aires:
Italian food: Il Materello at Palermo, Chiuso, Cucina Paradiso, Olivetti.
Steak houses: El Pobre Luis, La Brigada, Don Julio, La Cabrera. Try Ojo de Bife and Bife de Chorizo.
Asian food: Sudestada, Osaka, Paru.
French food: Brasserie Petanque.
Various types: Mercado San Telmo, Bar Rivas, Las Pizarras, Aldo´s.
More expensive:
Wine tasting with 8 steps food: Dario Gualtieri. Very good!!!
Restaurant Elena: https://www.fourseasons.com/buenosaires/dining/restaurants/elena/
Cabaña Las Lilas (steak house).
Due to the Italian immigration all the pizzerias (pizzas) are very good. Try the ones in Corrientes Street.
Try a very famous café (like French cafes of Paris and Madrid) called La Biela (in Recoleta). Every couple of hours of walking, stop and have a café (small) or a cortado (with milk). It is a local tradition. The croissants are incredible.
Try and enjoy Argentinean Malbec from Mendoza and also try the ones of Salta (high altitude Malbec). Have a Malbec red wine with empanadas (this is a classic). If you like white wines, try our local grape, the Torrontes (a little bit fruity and very enjoyable in summer).
Regarding places to go visit in Buenos Aires: Recoleta, Puerto Madero, Palermo, La Boca, Alvear Street, Colon Theater, Modern Art Museum (Recoleta). It is also very nice to visit the delta of Buenos Aires taking a boat at Tigre Station. Remember that is summer in Buenos Aires so the weather is hot and humid.
Sunday morning visit La Feria de San Telmo. Puerto Madero is very nice (even though they are building a highway nearby, but is a very nice place to walk and enjoy the river). Walking through Recoleta (visiting the Recoleta Cemetery) is a way of getting introduced to French architecture of beginning of 1900 that influenced a lot of the architecture of Buenos Aires. Visit the neighborhood of Palermo where nobody sleeps at night. It is plenty of restaurants, local beer bars, full of young people that never sleep and fashion boutiques.
Even though Buenos Aires is rather safe and is very nice to walk, always be careful not to show expensive jewelry and go to neighborhood faraway downtown.”
Senior Attorney
This is fantastic! Thank you!
texasanon
Does anyone else do this? Any time I catch this type of travel post here, I copy it into a Word document and save it into my personal folder on my computer. I have no plans to go to BA but who knows? I have a bunch of them at this point for all sorts of places
Anon
I don’t, but now I wish I was . . .
Anon
Yes! I save good tips in a Google doc with tabs for different locations that I might get to someday. I’ve gotten some of my best travel tips from this s i t e!
Anon
I screenshot! With the new search function on iPhones I just search my photos for key words if I have a trip coming up (eg “South Africa” or “Buenos Aires”). It’s been so helpful!
Anonymous
Brilliant! From now on I will.
Anon
Target’s website says the material is “80% Recycled Polyester, 18% Rayon, 2% Spandex.” Not sure where the cotton comes in…
Digby
If you click on the product details for each color, the solid colors are 68% cotton, while the houndstooth and pinstripe versions are polyester.
Anon
If you have a house, what deductible do you have? Mine is 5K, which I guess I had forgotten about. But I have my first claim (tornado damage resulting in a new roof) and now I’m wondering if I should adjust higher or lower? I have 5K and it has been 10+ years and this is my first claim ever.
Anonymous
$2500. We have used it once, when our entire house flooded when I left a second floor sink running. Our claim was something like $25k.
Everything else we did ourselves.
Anon
We have 1k on ours because that is the amount I am comfortable cashflowing if necessary. Our premiums are quite low anyhow so the savings from a higher deductible would not be enough to make me comfortable covering more out of pocket.
FWIW, we have replaced our roof twice in 15 years due to hail damage and the total cost each time was about 9k, with insurance covering all but the deductible.
Anon
I didn’t know until someone asked the question here recently, but we have a deductible of 1% ($4,300) for everything except earthquakes, which is 10%. We purchased our house for $350k, put about $100k into renovations, and could probably sell it today for around $600k, so I should probably up the insured amount.
Sybil
$1,000. House was purchased for $270K, could sell for $350K, and I think the insured value is maybe $430K? We’ve had the policy for 5 years and haven’t made a claim yet. Premium is under $2K/year.
anon
This is what insurance agents are helpful for! Ask them to price out what your premium would be if you go higher/lower. Also price out how much of a discount you get for not making claims for a certain amount of time. You should be able to find a sweet spot by seeing the numbers.
Anonymous
My house had like a $1k deductible when I was with Liberty. Then I married a military guy and got access to USAA. It cut my annual premium by more than half but has a % for wind and hail, which is the most common issue in my area. I (and everyone in my neighborhood) have had 2 claims for wind/hail, one fairly major, in the 10 years I’ve owned the house. To make the math more complicated, no insurance company will write a new policy with a flat deductible for wind/hail in my area and Liberty has been doubling my rates year over year to force me out of my low deductible policy. No telling how high they’ll go or if it’ll level out, but it’s already 4x more than when I bought the house. If the next 10 years are like the last 10, the math works out in our favor, so I’m basically keeping my fingers crossed and socking away that savings.
Anon
$500 for everything but wind/hail which is 1%. $305k dwelling coverage, $250k current estimated home value. $715 / yr premium.
Anon
$10K. I have owned a home for 25+ years and have never had a claim, so I want the lowest premium I can get. Home value is about $1.2M, and we are not in a flood or hurricane area. Tornadoes, yes, but I am a firm believer in playing the odds, and the odds are that I will never have a claim for tornado damage.
Anon
I think $5k. I don’t mind it being high. I’m just glad to have insurance here in California.
Anon
$1K. I had to use it within my first year of ownership due to a burst pipe that flooded during a record cold snap.
Paging Senior Attorney re: Argentina
I saw your request for recommendations late yesterday. We did an empanada cooking class and it was lovely (https://www.tierranegragourmet.com/cookingclasses). I still make those empanadas! We also did a city bike tour through Viator, but I can’t find the specific booking. A former colleague and native of Buenos Aires provided these recommendations:
“I can recommend some restaurants in Buenos Aires:
Italian food: Il Materello at Palermo, Chiuso, Cucina Paradiso, Olivetti.
Steak houses: El Pobre Luis, La Brigada, Don Julio, La Cabrera. Try Ojo de Bife and Bife de Chorizo.
Asian food: Sudestada, Osaka, Paru.
French food: Brasserie Petanque.
Various types: Mercado San Telmo, Bar Rivas, Las Pizarras, Aldo´s
More expensive:
Wine tasting with 8 steps food: Dario Gualtieri. Very good!!!
Restaurant Elena: https://www.fourseasons.com/buenosaires/dining/restaurants/elena/
Cabaña Las Lilas (steak house).
Due to the Italian immigration all the pizzerias (pizzas) are very good. Try the ones in Corrientes Street.
Try a very famous café (like French cafes of Paris and Madrid) called La Biela (in Recoleta). Every couple of hours of walking, stop and have a café (small) or a cortado (with milk). It is a local tradition. The croissants are incredible.
Try and enjoy Argentinean Malbec from Mendoza and also try the ones of Salta (high altitude Malbec). Have a Malbec red wine with empanadas (this is a classic). If you like white wines, try our local grape, the Torrontes (a little bit fruity and very enjoyable in summer).
Regarding places to go visit in Buenos Aires: Recoleta, Puerto Madero, Palermo, La Boca, Alvear Street, Colon Theater, Modern Art Museum (Recoleta). It is also very nice to visit the delta of Buenos Aires taking a boat at Tigre Station. Remember that is summer in Buenos Aires so the weather is hot and humid.
Sunday morning visit La Feria de San Telmo. Puerto Madero is very nice (even though they are building a highway nearby, but is a very nice place to walk and enjoy the river). Walking through Recoleta (visiting the Recoleta Cemetery) is a way of getting introduced to French architecture of beginning of 1900 that influenced a lot of the architecture of Buenos Aires. Visit the neighborhood of Palermo where nobody sleeps at night. It is plenty of restaurants, local beer bars, full of young people that never sleep and fashion boutiques.
Even though Buenos Aires is rather safe and is very nice to walk, always be careful not to show expensive jewelry and go to neighborhood faraway downtown.”
Enjoy!
Elle
Trying to decide on a baby moon location. I think I’m going to want to just lay on a beach chair and chill. We were considering Punta Cana, DR or somewhere in the Bahamas. Does anyone have suggestions? Or even other recommendations in the Caribbean that they loved?
ANON
I love Grand Cayman. Punta Cana beaches can be disastrous depending on the time of the year due to seaweed.
I also really enjoyed Barbados and Guadeloupe if you’re interested in excursions but if you just want to stay on site I think there are better beaches to be had.
Amelia Pond
don’t want to be a downer, but definitely talk to your doctor about zika risk. even though the risk/transmission rate was low, my doctor brought it up (Feb. 2023) that put me off a carribean baby moon. but of course, you might feel differently.
Anon
+1 my understanding is that Zika is still a concern in the Caribbean if you’re pregnant. Definitely talk to your Ob.
Runcible Spoon
Colleagues went to the Turks & Caicos and really enjoyed that, just sitting out on a fabulous beach. Not sure where you are traveling from, but there were nonstop flights, I believe, from the NYC area.
Anon
TBH I think of Punta Cana as kind of a budget choice. The beaches aren’t the best and it’s filled with mid-range all-inclusive resorts that attract a certain type of tourist looking to make the most of all-you-can-eat and all-you-can-drink. I’m not sure it would be the relaxing serenity you’re hoping for. Turks and Caicos and Antigua are lovely, though they tend to be pricier in terms of both flights and hotels. There are some nice spots in the Bahamas too.
SF in House
Does anyone have a recommendation for a car service from EWR to the West 70s? We will have a lot of bags and thought that something prebooked might be easier than Uber/Lyft.
NYCer
We like Legends Limousine.
Anon
Hi! DH and I are going to Sedona over Labor Day weekend– looking for advice. We are coming from the SEUS. DH has been to Sedona as a kid. I have never been. Our hotel is in the Village of Oak Creek, and I’m kind of regretting not booking in West Sedona.. but at this point, I can’t change that.
— Should we expect traffic that weekend and what does that mean? I have seen comments that there is traffic during holiday weekends, but I don’t know if that means that the main part of Sedona will be impassable or not.
— What do I need to book ahead of time other than a jeep tour? We enjoy light to moderate hiking and will be doing that for at least part of our trip, but I don’t really know what else to do with our time.
— Any recommendations for lesser known hikes near Village of Oak Creek? I keep seeing sample itineraries with the same 3-4 hikes and comments that they are very crowded. I know there are other trails but am having a hard time finding them.
— Also what does “crowded” mean? I see comments that the parking lots for some of these trails fills up by 8 am… but the parking lots typically have 8 cars and also have shuttle access. If I’m planning on using a shuttle to access a trail, what time would I need to be there to get into the shuttle parking lot?
Anonymous
Hi, we stayed in Oak Creek (at Las Posadas de Sedona) when we visited in April 2022 and were really happy with the location. I believe it wasn’t quite high season when were there, but there were still a lot of people around, and I would expect Labor Day weekend to be busy. The nice thing about Oak Creek is that you are really close to some trail heads south of Sedona and don’t have to drive through the heart of Sedona to get everywhere; we really didn’t spend any time in Sedona proper; there are good restaurants in Oak Creek. IIRC correctly the main road is just one lane each way, so it just moves slowly. We were not getting up at the crack of dawn and did okay; people who start hikes early also end them early. Either the shuttles were not yet running when we were there, or we didn’t figure them out. The main hike I remember doing was Bell Rock, which is just north of Oak Creek. We had our not particularly fit 9 year old with us, so were not overly ambitious, and it was a great hike. He also enjoyed going to Palatki Ruins. If it had been warmer, we definitely would have gone to one of the creeks with a swimming area, but it was still a bit chilly for that.
For picking hikes, the Red Rock visitors center has a lot of guidance available, including photos of sights on each hike. The scenery isn’t THAT varied – after a while one red rock doesn’t look too different than another, so don’t worry too much about picking the wrong hike as long as the difficulty seems doable for you. The Hike House website also has a trail finder with a ton of information in it. https://thehikehouse.com/sedona-trail-finder
Anon
The first thing to know is that it is going to be hot. So plan your outdoor activities in the morning. The Village of Oak Creek is fine for your hotel. The traffic will probably be the same as any other tourist time frame, but that does not mean “impassable”. And the main touristy area (shops, restaurants) are very walkable and there are a lot of public parking lots.
For hiking, definitely do the West Fork Trail. It is about a 20-25 min drive from Sedona but the road is so pretty. Get there early (whatever time the lot opens: 7 or 8 am) since parking is very limited. You can park on the road too. It’s an easy hike along the creek. Really beautiful and not nearly as crowded or popular as the other trails you are probably hearing about. For other hikes, I suggest All Trails (free) and find some that look good to you. The “Instagram” trails like Devil’s Bridge are going to be very, very crowded-like people waiting in a long line to take a photo of themselves with the background. All Trails will tell you what the really popular and crowded hikes are, so you can avoid those if you want.
Slide Rock State Park is nice, especially if you want to cool off. But…that will be very crowded that weekend.
The Jeep tours are worth it, so definitely do that. You can also rent ATV’s is that is your thing and do your own Jeep-type tour. As far as what else to do, the only other thing I can recommend is doing some spa services. And relaxing by the pool at your hotel, if they have one, since it will be hot. The one thing I don’t like about Sedona is there is not a lot to do there. Even walking around town is basically just a bunch of tourist gift shops.
Anon
Disclaimer: I hated Sedona.
There’s one main drag through the town that spans the main shopping and eating district. Parking is extremely limited and they were being very aggressive with parking enforcement when we were there. It was also very crowded – bumper-to-bumper traffic all the way through town and up to the main hiking spots. Sidewalks clogged with tourists. You should expect to have to have a lot of patience and sit in traffic or negotiate through a lot of foot traffic – I am sure over Labor Day it will be jammed.
What to do with your time besides the Jeep tour? Good question. All the hiking trails will be overrun with tourists who clearly had no idea what they were doing. If you want a nature experience with few people around? Good luck. The trails we were on had clueless people who were trying to hike fairly technical trails in Crocs, did not have water with them, were not wearing hats, had not brought extra sunscreen. And were complaining endlessly. Sedona is in Arizona. Arizona is hot, most of the year. Why people somehow thought Arizona in the fall = I don’t need sunscreen, water and a hat is beyond me. Don’t get me started on the Crocs.
In any case – there is nothing to do in Sedona besides look at the rocks, hike on the overrun trails with clueless tourist hikers who insist on doing dangerous things so they can take the exact same selfie four million other people have already posted on Instagram, and participate in touristy stuff like Jeep tours. IMO, the shopping sucks. Faux-Southwestern/Native American crap that seems to enchant people from the East Coast but was probably made in China. Lots of touristy t-shirt shops, junk jewelry stores, etc. It seemed to me like they want people to come in, wade through the tourist crowds to buy an overpriced margarita and some mediocre tacos, buy some junk and then leave. It is a beautiful, soulless place designed solely to suck money out of tourists’ wallets. I have lived in the Southwest my entire life and I just don’t get it. It is not any more beautiful, more spectacular, more accessible to nature than a hundred other towns within an 8-hour driving radius. We were there two days and left and if I never go back there again, it will be too soon.
You know what’s cool? Flagstaff. The drive between Sedona and Flagstaff is one of the most beautiful I have ever been on. There is a natural river swim area (that I will warn you, does get very busy) on that road if you want to take a cooling swim in the river. Flagstaff has great breweries, tons of cool funky shops in the downtown, there’s a college there so there’s some actual culture if that’s your jam. One of the all-time-best used bookstores in the universe, Bookman’s, is there. I love Flagstaff. I hate Sedona. I hate to tell you this, since your trip is already planned. But just want you to be aware.
Anon
+1 to this. I did Sedona and I liked it enough but I also stayed outside of town, started hiking at 6 am, and only hiked hard long trails that no one else wanted to. I have family in Flagstaff and I’ll take it all day every day over Sedona.
Anon
While this is kinda harsh, it’s all true.
Anon
I would not say I “hated” Sedona, but there’s a lot of truth to this comment.
Anonymous
I have a reply in mod, check back
Jeeps
for Jeep Tours – don’t do the pink jeeps they’re kitschy and low reward. My rec is “Arizona Safari Jeep Tours” their team is amazing.
Anon
OP: Thank you for the responses so far! We are actually also staying at Las Posadas de Sedona and were initially thinking we would be happier not staying in the main drag of Sedona, so glad to hear you had a good experience.
I don’t need to do the Instagram hikes. I figured that at a point, most of the scenery looks similar, so I probably could probably find a less crowded place to see the scenery. Weather so far looks similar (but less humid) than where we are coming from, so I’m not really worried. And I’m familiar with the type of hikes that are 0.2 miles where people are wearing Crocs and just want an Instagram photo.. we were hoping to skip those and choose some hikes that were a little longer and potentially less crowded.
Thanks for the suggestions for the Palatki Ruins– I really wanted to see cliff dwellings in the area so will keep that in mind. We were also considering going to Flagstaff so that is good to know as well.
I am aware Sedona is touristy– it was easy to get to from where we are whereas other places in the Southwest are not. Just trying to take advantage of the grandparents volunteering to babysit for the weekend!
Are the wineries worth going to?
Anon
I have never been (but I live in AZ) but I heard the wineries in Cottonwood are decent. It’s not too far to drive there from Sedona. As long as you are not expecting CA-type wines and wineries (manage expectations) you will be fine. Honestly, I would do a day trip to Flagstaff as recommended above over the wineries.
Anon
“we were hoping to skip those and choose some hikes that were a little longer and potentially less crowded.”
Good luck, but I don’t think there are secret hiking trails that no other tourist but you knows about.
Anonymous
Cool, I hope you enjoy Las Posadas! The breakfasts were good. If we had had more time, I was interested in driving over to Jerome. We also did a day trip to Flagstaff to go to the Lowell Observatory. The weather was uncooperative, so that ended up being underwhelming, but could be cool if you are interested in astronomy. But for a weekend, I would minimize driving and just spend some time enjoying the local area. Montezuma castle south of Sedona is also close if you are into ruins.
Anonymous
PS – honestly if you rent a bike you could ride to a number of trailheads from where you are staying and avoid cars altogether. I live in NYC and have low standards for traffic and crowds and didn’t find it terrible.
NY CPA
I went to Sedona over LDW several years ago and there was an hour long traffic jam to go <5 miles on the road (one lane each direction) into town heading north from Phoenix. Absolutely stunning views while stuck in traffic, but still infuriating. Definitely expect it will be crowded and try to drive as little as possible, particularly during the middle of the day.
Anon
Might need to repost in the afternoon thread, but wondering if anyone has any recs for good resorts for couples in Arizona/Southern California. Husband and I would be going between late October – late November for 4-5 days as our babymoon. Ideally looking for somewhere that is close to good food, has a spa, etc. Max budget would be $300-$400/night. Appreciate any and all tips!
Anon
That price is bit on the low side for a nicer place and spa, for that time of the year. The weather cools down at the end of October (sweatshirts needed at night) and there are a lot of conferences in town that time of the year. However, one place I can suggest in your price range for that time of the year is the Scottsdale Camelback Resort (the “Resort” one; there are a lot of nicer places with “Camelback” in the name, but more expensive than you want to spend). They have nice villas and a pool. They also have a spa, but I have not been to that spa. There are a ton of really great spas in Scottsdale, so if you don’t want to go to that one you can book something elsewhere, even at one of the nicer hotels near there.
This is a good location for food and shopping, and downtown Scottsdale (but driving distance, not walking distance). The food in Scottsdale (and AZ in general) is more chain restaurant than great one-off/mom and pop restaurants, but still some of those are really good. And you almost cannot go wrong with the mexican food.
Anon
La Quinta Resort in La Quinta (near Palm Desert), CA.
Anon
La Quinta Resort in La Quinta (near Palm Desert), CA.