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I mentioned this a bit in our earlier post this week on the ideal handbag, but the Amberley crossbody bag from Mullberry would be one of my top picks if I wanted a really sedate bag for everyday.
The leather is luxe, and the gold hardware is enough of a contrast without being overly bling-y. There is no organization inside the bag, though, so do note that if you're the kind of person who likes a pocket for lipstick or phone or whatnot.
The bag is $1100 at Nordstrom and other department stores; it's currently available in this pretty evergreen, gray, black, and a hot pink. (There's a smaller version in a midnight blue that's very pretty, also.)
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
DC Inhouse Counsel
I have this bag in a nice brown color and its the perfect elevated everyday bag!
Is it Friday yet?
I have it in a dark brown with a woven “Vichy pattern” in white on the front flap, I use it all the time.
Naomi
I have it in a tan colour – have had for about 5 years and get a lot of wear out of it – especially on weekends. Highly recommend! The “fun” colours tend to go on sale every so often FYI.
Ring Advice
I’ve decided that it’s time to sell my engagement ring and wedding ring (I’ve been divorced a few years now).
A few questions- I still have the engagement ring insured and the policy is about to lapse. I keep it in my home safe. Is there any reason to keep insurance while I go about selling it?
Where is the best place to sell a diamond ring? They are from one of the very high end, well known companies, and I know the appraised value of both (the wedding band has smaller diamonds, the engagement ring has one large diamond and smaller diamonds on the band).
I don’t have any of the original sale or certification documents. Do I need them? Should I call the company to get them? I’d rather not talk to my ex, if I can get them otherwise.
Anon
If you’ve insured it this long, I would keep insuring it until I sell it.
BTW – Insured value is usually much higher than what you will get when you sell.
If you share you city, some people may have specific suggestions.
If it is very high value, you may want to contact one of the major auction houses.
Anon
If it’s from one of the big name, high end brands, I would look into selling via an auction house. I’ve purchased jewlery at auctions from Heritage Auctions and Doyle. Haven’t had experience selling, but can vouch that they’re both reputable.
Anon
I got pennies on the dollar when I sold my rings from my first marriage. I got about 20% of the appraised value.
Explorette
This sounds right from my experience. The resale value of wedding/engagement rings is very, very low. I inherited a set from my mom, and had the stones reset into a pair of earrings and a ring that I wear pretty often. Maybe worth considering instead of selling?
eertmeert
Okay, with HHI of $1M or more, I would buy Mulberry bags. At least two a year.
I would also have one of those walk in closets that are big enough to have a marble topped island in the middle. And a chair with ottoman, or possibly a fainting couch. Probably a fainting couch.
Anon
And you would deserve that marble! :)
For real though, I’d love one of those closets.
Anon
Same! I’m not someone who cares about designers for the most part but I do love Mulberry bags.
Peaches
Yep. How pretty is this green?
Anon
I’m very far from a 7 figure income but I have one of those closets :) We live in a LCOL area and our primary bedroom has a giant walk-in closet, and I added an island to it.
Anonymous
Amazing! What was the planning process like? Did you use a closet company or general contractor?
Anon
We were renovating our kitchen at the same time with a design-build contractor, so it was an addition to that project and I don’t think there were a lot of costs involved besides the materials. It’s a relatively small island and the whole thing came in around $2k I think. I know the cabinets were quite a bit more expensive than the marble. But our contractor steered us towards these really high end cabinets that I wouldn’t purchase again. They’re fine but I think cheaper cabinets would have also been fine.
NYNY
I have several events coming up in the next year that I’ll need pretty shoes for, and my go-to pair is past restoration after over 10 years of service. I’ve found two low/medium block-heel silver sandals that I love. Which would you prefer?
Aeyde Greta
Suzanne Rae 70s Strappy Slingback
(links to follow)
NYNY
Aeyde Greta – https://www.aeyde.com/products/greta-specchio-calf
Suzanne Rae – https://suzannerae.com/collections/sandals/products/70s-strappy-slingback-silver
Cat
The Suzanne give me a very 70s party vibe and the Aeydes more of a 90s Carolyn Bess-tt- Kennedy slip dress and chunky heels vibe… which one are you going for?
NYNY
This is my problem – I could roll with either vibe! In my perfect world I’d have both, but I really don’t need two pairs of silver party sandals.
Moose
I like the Aeyde better – seems more classic, less trendy, cool sculptural heel. But bear in mind I don’t really like aggressively squared toes, so that colors my opinion. But both very pretty!
Anon
+1 to all of this
Anon
I agree – both are really fun, but the Aeydes win by a nose.
Anonymous
The Suzanne Raw hands down for me. If I am buying party sandals for $350+, they need to bring the party. Only one of these really does that.
Anonymous
Agreed. Plus, I think the style is more timeless— even though it has the very square toe- because it’s more unique. You could also wear them with tights in the winter if you’re into that look.
Anonymous
+1 Suzanne Raes for sure
anoncat
+1. This.
Runcible Spoon
I like the Suzanne Rae sandals over the Aeyde Greta as more practical — if you snap a strap on the Aeyde sandals, they’re don, but the Rae sandals look like they have more staying power. Plus the Rae sandals cover more of the foot while still being snazzy sandals; the Aeyde sandals look super naked, which might not be appropriate in as many settings Rae sandals will.
Anon
Has anyone read and would recommend reading, “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office”? I’m in a book club where this is the next book that was selected.
I’ve started reading it and I’m getting a little frustrated with the vibe that this book implies most if not all women have to really alter their natural behavior to exceed at work.
I get this to some degree. I know I definitely analyze how my behavior comes across more than my male colleagues. But setting out to read 100+ ways women make mistakes just sounds disappointing.
Curious if others have read this and think it is worth the time?
Anon
What a can of worms!!
I read it more than a decade ago when I was starting my career as a lawyer. Some of the advice seemed dated at that time, so I imagine it’s even more so now.
I do agree with the central idea that some industries are still very male dominated and it will help you get promoted if you’re conscious of that and sometimes bend your behavior to the norms of your office. But some of the specific stuff just isn’t applicable anymore. For example, I think it states you shouldn’t have pics of your family in your office (if I remember correctly), and I just don’t think that’s really true.
Anon8
Same here! Read it a decade ago when I first entered the workforce. As someone who is naturally not very direct and didn’t have any professional women role models in my life I felt like it taught me a lot about professional office norms. And I’ve never volunteered to take meeting notes because of this book, haha. I do think the central premise is pretty flawed though, and would not recommend it.
Anonymous
Not worth the time. I read it 10 years ago, maybe?
If you want a swap, I’d suggest radical candor. Also woman-authored but more current and practical guidance. Everyone I’ve talked to learned something (good or dislike) from the book.
for times I have been in book clubs where the goal is hearty discussion, then I have definitely read things and taken notes like “really disagreed with X,” “seemed outdated,” “this resonated with me.” But if it was not a close connection in the club, I wouldn’t hesitate to skip the book or not attend.
New Here
I remember this being recommended to me but never reading it because I didn’t like that same idea you’re talking about.
I did enjoy “The Myth of the Nice Girl: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate” by Fran Hauser. I read it a few years ago and then passed it on to some younger colleagues.
Anon
I haven’t read it in a long time, but I thought it was somewhat outdated then. So it probably is outdated now, especially if you are under 30. I think it was written for a generation that was raised with much more of a “girls always have to be nice, polite and sweet” directive from parents and society, and where there was a much narrower range of acceptable female behavior in the workplace, especially around assertiveness.
I will say the piece of advice from there that has always stuck with me is the thing about – if you’re in a meeting about a project or initiative, and everyone else is talking about why it’s unfeasible/implausible, but you think “Oh, but I can make it happen” – you’re likely being naive; don’t raise your hand and volunteer. Remembering that advice at crucial moments has kept me out of a lot of time-sucking, go-nowhere, quagmire projects over the years. There might be some advice like that in the book that really resonates with you, even if the rest of it does not. So – I think you can read it, take what resonates with you, and decide not to care about the rest.
Cat
I read it maybe a decade or so ago and remember thinking it felt patronizing then, but I have never been afraid to advocate for myself, ex confidently ask an interrupting colleague to wait for me to finish, nor was I ever tempted to volunteer for thankless work like organizing an office party, so perhaps I wasn’t the target audience.
Anon
This makes me feel very old.. this book was recommended and discussed here a ton circa 2010.
Anon
I don’t know anything about the book, but natural behavior or how we’ve been socialized to behave??
Anon
Aren’t they sort of impossible to separate? I’d assume more the latter though.
Anon
I don’t know. Male animals that are intact behave wildly differently from neutered or from female animals. So that makes think gendered behavior is real. But maybe humans are wildly different. (Obviously individual differences are also substantial.)
Anon
It used to get recommended here a lot. I’ve never read it.
Anon
I am surprised anyone is reading this anymore! As people have already mentioned, it’s so dated. I’d read it with the approach of an anthropology project if you can’t convince them to drop it an pick another one.
OP
Thanks everyone! I appreciate the sanity check that I’m not the only one put off by the tone of the book. This book club is for a women’s leadership team at work. Going with this approach sounds like my best option. I’ll also look into the other book suggestions listed above. Maybe next time around I can help suggest a book that’s a little more relevant.
Anonymous
Oof. That makes it worse. I think I would speak up in this case, and say that you think the tone or norms being described are outdated. I wouldn’t do this if it were a private book club.
Anon
Yeah that makes it WAY worse. I thought this was just something your friends wanted to read.
Anonymous
As other people has commented – it’s massively dated.
I would read it with an anthro or sociological mindset, but still be open in the book club discussion – while some things genuinely move forward, it’s not universal and if anybody is stuck at work in “before”, rhey might need this conversation.
AnonSatOfc
I read it like 15+ years ago and rolled my eyes a bit. It falls into the category of career development books that seem to want to “fix” women, and I have much less tolerance for those now.
MJ
So–this book was great in it’s first edition. The second edition got worse, and, as everyone has mentioned, some of the advice was always controversial. I think there’s some nuggets in there, but also agree that there are many, many better books nowadays that can help you navigate. I think it was also geared toward a very-heavily-male-dominated workplace with overt sexism, and that’s not most workplaces nowadays. Today, I feel like microagressions are more common/sexism is more subtle (but still very much alive and well, sadly), because overt sexism would get people fired. Easier to just…do it more persistently on the sly.
Here are a few on my bookshelf / TBR pile:
Glass Walls (Shattering the Six Gender Bias Barriers Still Holding Women Back at Work) – Diehl, Dzubinski – HAVEN’T READ YET
Brotopia – Chang – SO GOOD
Feminist Fight Club (A surgivial Manual for a Sexist Workplace) – Bennet – RECOMMENTED
Take Back Your Power – Liu – EXCELLENT
Anonymous
Does anyone here belong to a country club and if so are you glad? Would use it for golf, tennis and the family events. I have the chance to join a nice one in Alexandria Va. Most of my friend circle belong so feeling a bit left out and we would use it, but is that a good reason to spend 5 figures on a club. I don’t know.
Thanks.
Anon
Break it down to cost per visit and assess.
NYCer
If you can comfortably afford it and would use it (which it sounds like you would based on your post), I would go for it. I would not do it if it were a stretch financially or if you would have to curtail other spending as a result.
Anon
Country clubs are unappealing to me for a variety of reasons, but if you would use it and can comfortably afford it, why not?
Senior Attorney
If that’s the center of your social circle, then I think it would be well worth the expense, provided it’s within your budget. We belong to a social club (no sports) and have been really happy to have the use of their facilities.
Anon
If I could afford it and would use it, I’d go for it. It’s got to be cheaper than having the kind of house that would allow me to host big events! But you could price it out vs. other venues (restaurants, event spaces, tennis courts, golf course) and see if it makes sense. For me it would also mean a lot that I already had friends there since easy opportunities to see my friends is important to me.
Anon
Suggestions for shutting down a chronic over-sharer mid-share? Coworker and I joined company at the same time, she decided I’m her bestie, and I know for a fact that she’s making our new coworkers uncomfortable. I’m worried that I’m going to be perceived the same even though I’m the quiet one.
Anon
I wouldn’t do anything. You run the risk of pissing her off, bc trust me, she doesn’t care that she is an oversharer or making people uncomfortable. If you piss her off, she is likely to start bad mouthing you to your coworkers (given she doesn’t have a filter), and that’s going to be way worse than anything that’s happening now. They don’t think you’re an oversharer if you’re not oversharing. Just start or keep distancing yourself from her. It will be fine.
Anonymous
“Good to know.” (Silence)
“Oh.”
“I’m in the middle of X, how about we catch up another time?”
Be a less active/good listener. Don’t nod as much. Don’t gasp or roll eyes or generally react. Become boring for her to talk at. Keep your hands on keyboard and posture towards screen instead of turning to listen to non project relevant updates.
Read Cy Wakeman’s first book and you can get more concrete tips I used in a prior job to limit drama conversations.
Moose
Yes, this – use it all the time!
Anon
Thanks. It’s more like when we are together in a group and she’s speaking at our coworkers.
Anonymous
Break in and invite someone else to speak. “So, Susie, I have been wanting to hear about your vacation!”
Anon
Look at your watch and excuse yourself because you remembered that project you have to get back to.
Anonymous
I just saw Barbie – what a fantastic movie!!
Anon
I looooooved it! And I went a second time so I could be company for my friend whose husband refused to go *eyeroll*
Anon
I’m starting a new director role that involves site visits, lots of walking, and occasional ladders. I would be with my direct reports (middle managers) as well as lower rung employees. What do you wear to this? I’m generally a dress gal and that’s just not going to work. It needs to somehow convey the right level of formality while being not fussy. I’m super short so giving up heels is already going to knock me down a notch. Thanks!