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As we head into what looks like a long, contagious winter, with hopefully lots of working from home for everyone who wants to, let's discuss: How has working from home changed your workplace dynamic? Some things to consider:
- imposter syndrome — Do you feel like you are somehow less professional or less accomplished if you're working from your dining room table in workout clothes? On the flip side, do you feel like you're living your best life now that you've been freed from the constraints of facetime and maybe even regular working hours and the like?
- office communication — Do you feel like your superiors and subordinates are doing a better or worse job communicating? Do you feel like you're missing out on small things like nonverbal communication and passing-in-the-hallway communication, where you may not have intended to check in with someone but are able to do so in a quicker, more casual way?
- productivity — Do you feel like your productivity has gone up or down? If you're spending less time commuting and less time casually chatting with coworkers, has that made you more productive? Or are home-based tasks like laundry, the dishes, or even that game of Animal Crossing distracting you?
Do tell, ladies — I'd love to hear how it's going!
Clementine
I love working from home, I hate supervising from home.
I have an inherited team which varies wildly in terms of capability, motivation, and overall attitude. I personally am hyper efficient when working from home; however, I spend so much more of my energy just… making sure everyone is working and feeling supported and not feeling abandoned. It has made me much more… micromanage-y as a supervisor. Lots more emails checking in, lots more meetings. Previously, I had an open door policy and staff would just informally drop by for direction.
Personally, I’ve lost weight, I am getting so much more exercise (which is good because I walk so much less WFH), I’m more present with my children, and generally happier. I also really really hate fluorescent lighting and have many fewer headaches because I’m not dealing with it daily.
ceecee
+1
I do not manage a team but I’m so much more happier! I get to spend time with my children and I’m exercising more. My productivity is about the same as pre-Covid.
AB
I’m so much happier in my own controllable environment. The temp is perfect, anything I need is nearby, no noisy coworkers! There isn’t much office gossip going on, mostly because the general gossip was about things people do in person so it’s good that element is removed. There’s much less interpersonal snipping between teams, which is also great.
Everyone keeps talking about missing their coworkers, but the 2 I actually want to keep in touch with, I do via text or a socially distanced meet up for a drink every so often. Everyone else is just someone that helps me do my job and vice versa, the way it should be.
JD
How to leave my job gracefully…
I’ve been at my company for 5 years (healthcare), and until recently I’ve loved it. My manager hired a new director last spring, and she has emerged as a bully over the past 5-6 months. She and I are at the same level on the org chart, but she requested early on for me to report to her (which our manager refused to do). Since then, it has ranged from screaming verbal abuse (I lost nearly 10 pounds at the worst of it) to tolerable tension. Our manager is aware of the problem, as this employee has behaved wretchedly with several other people, but I don’t think he appreciates the severity. He’s always given me outstanding performance reviews, and he hasn’t offered me any specific feedback in how to interact with the bully, other than to stand up to her, which I’ve done without losing my cool.
Anyways, I’m realizing that the bully is unlikely to change, and that I need to find a new job. I have a plan mapped out for the next several months to polish my CV, network, etc. My question: what kinds of things can I do now to prepare for a smooth, graceful exit? I don’t want to burn any bridges, as I could imagine wanting to rejoin this company if the bully left. Other than continuing to do my best possible work, giving plenty of notice, and transitioning my projects to others, any advice? I know my manager will want to know why I’m leaving, and I’m assuming that I should not mention the bully as part of the motivation…is that right, even though it’s true?
MagicUnicorn
If your manager already knows about the bully issues, I would definitely tell them that since it doesn’t seem that the person is interested in changing and the company isn’t doing anything to mitigate the problem, you are moving on. I wouldn’t tell them this until you are ready to give notice, of course.
Stayed too long with a bully
Do not mention the bully. Retaliation and blackballing could haunt your career. From what you have described, the bully may already be trying to destroy your career. Bullies who verbally abuse their victims also spread gossip, warn others away from victims, and badmouth victims to outside employers.
Your employer knows the person is a bully and has permitted the bully to harm you and others in the context. Other employers may also know the person is a bully. In some fields, individual sadists persist and no one ever stops them.
You need to do a white women who leaves without an explanation exit. Your manager knows that you are leaving because of the bully. Escape. Be free. The longer you stay, the greater long term harm the bully and the context will do to your health and your career.
Anon
I just posted this in the morning discussion thread but someone kindly suggested I instead post this here. So here goes.
Does anyone have any tips for helping a husband with depression?
My husband’s hedge fund blew up a little over a year ago. On top of that, it wasn’t too long before his company went under that his brother tragically died and I think it’s only now that he’s grieving. He was holding it all together (for better or for worse…) before COVID hit, but then ever since we’ve been staying at home I think it’s all just caught up with him. Ever since March he has lost all motivation, grumpier than usual, has lost all interest in sex, is eating and sleeping terribly, has gained weight, etc. and has admitted he’s depressed. I love him so much and it pains me to see him like this. I have tried different things including really encouraging him to go talk to someone/seek therapy which he does not want to do, but to date haven’t figured out what will work. We’re totally fine financially (I have a good job and we have plenty of savings) but I know getting back out there job-wise will help his confidence.
I also feel selfish because as more and more time goes by I’ve at times gotten privately frustrated, occasionally leading to impatience on my part and perhaps letting my frustration show. I just really want him to get going again for his own sake but don’t know how.
Honestly, we do have a really strong marriage and are best friends so I don’t want to give the impression here that our marriage is falling apart from this. I’ll stand by his side no matter what but I’m just at a loss for what to do to help him and, also to a lesser extent, to help myself be more patient as he picks himself back up.
eertmeert
I’m sorry about all the loss your husband has gone through. That is a lot to handle. I suggest a grief support group. It really helped my mom a lot after my dad died. Right after he died she was super scattered, but about 6 months later she did virtual grief group, and she said it was a tremendous help. It isn’t counselling so much as sharing the experience of loss.
My two cents is that being patient with him is probably equally as important as doing somehting to help him. Grief is weird and unpredictable and different for everyone. And watching your loved one process it is hard. I don’t know that you can move him through it any faster than he is naturally going to go.
Counseling would be helpful for him, but if it is a no go then that’s that for now.
But you can get counseling for yourself, to help with the frustrations you face as you support him. It could be a really nice release. And maybe once he sees you doing it it might help him try it – but i don’t think you can go into it with that as the goal. Just some support for yourself during this challenging time.
Good luck!
Anonie
I shared my thoughts in the morning post and hope they can offer some solace! Wishing you both well.
Anon
OP here. Thank you both for the thoughts! I truly appreciate it.
Therese
You can offer to go with him to see either his GP or a psychiatrist. It may be that he needs an antidepressant to give him the mental energy to go see a therapist or grief group. Short of that, or in addition to that, you can help by walking with him daily, particularly in the sun. Exercise can be as effective as an antidepressant. If he seems at lose ends, you might give him some suggestions on how to get his back rolling, like phoning a friend or running an errand.
Anon
Favorite luxe throw to recommend? I’m looking for a warm, elegant throw for my living room, and I’m overwhelmed by the choices. I’d like something be around $100, down-free due to allergies. Please share your recs if you have one you love! Thanks.