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Tuesday’s TPS Report: Argyle Gauze Cardigan

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Collection argyle gauze cardiganI really like the “mismatched” twinsets J.Crew is showing this season — they seem modern yet traditional all at once. And it doesn't hurt that they're having a sale today — 20% off all sweaters, prices as marked. This gauzey gray argyle cardigan looks lovely. It's meant to be paired with a dot shell, which unfortunately looks almost entirely see-through — I would either wear a white camisole beneath it, or use the shell as a layering piece on top of things (such as a white button-front blouse). The cardigan was $158 but is marked to $126 now, and the dot shell was $128 but is now marked to $102. (Sale ends tonight at 11:59 PM ET.) Collection argyle gauze cardigan Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)  

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

145 Comments

    1. I know! How horible to wear this and then have a bunch of skuzzy guy’s ooogeling at my boobies. When I go to the manageing partner’s house, I have to be carful, b/c he has a pool and so many men were stareing at me when I went near the pool, and I did NOT even show them anything! FOOEY on men like that. I would NOT care if they were serious about a releationship, but all want sex only but NOT marriage, and I do NOT want to get into that trap like I did with Alan, b/c he NEVER followed thru after I did my part alot. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      I hope to be in good shape this summer, and get a guy who wants to MARRY me and have kid’s right away! YAY!!!!

  2. Did anyone catch the WSJ article on Lululemon’s “sheerness problem”? Made me chuckle after last week’s discussion!

    1. haha yes it was hilarious how serious they were about explaining the ‘technical problems’ associated with the pants. oh lululemon… PSA: costco yoga pants are high quality and literally < 1/5 of the price. and i say this as someone who totally drank the lulu kool aid and bought a few pairs there.

      1. For UK folks, mandm direct is WONDERFUL. Last season’s sport gear for cheap as chips (a little like an online only TK Maxx). Bright orange adidas running shorts for £7. And Brooks Infiniti running tights for £8.

      2. I tried those Costco yoga pants. Sadly, they did not fit nearly as well as the one pair of lulu Grooves I have. Even for the wonderful price and the nice thick material, they weren’t worth $20 to me to keep. They just weren’t flattering for me. Lucky you if they’re flattering for you!

    2. Objectively, it was hilarious. But sadly, the joke is on me. I bought a new pair of pants during the recall period and now have to downward dog in the backyard and ask my partner if you can see my crack. That’s what I get for my pricey workout wear habit.

  3. hive, what do we think of the marc by marc jacobs belmont melly (link to follow)? good, versatile work bag?

    also, thoughts on quality of marc by marc jacobs bags in general? “worth” the money?

    1. I love the look of this bag. I don’t own any marc by marc jacobs, so I don’t know about quality firsthand, but my sister loves the one that she has (brown leather but smaller than this). Alas, this wouldn’t work for me because 12.5 inches isn’t wide enough, as I often carry redwelds, binders and folders home in addition to my laptop.

      1. Thank you! I am a bit worried about the size too, although I usually take two bags to work so maybe I should not take it into account as much (as long as I can fit a pair of heels in there, of course. No heels = game over).

    2. I think they’re worth the money – I just purchased a mbmj natasha and adore it. And this bag looks very stylish and work appropriate (and I love the potential cross-body wearing of it with the longer strap). I got mine with a piperlime 20% off promo so you can get a bit of a discount on mbmj bags there.

      1. oh I did want to add that since this bag is a bit larger than mine, I would carry it around in person around the store for a bit if you want to use it for work and see what you think of the weight of the bag. I did think the natasha is a bit heavy, but since I use it for casual purposes and don’t really put much in it, it’s okay.

      2. Ohhh good call. I’ll check if they have it there–I can wait for their birthday promo code.

        How does the quality compare? (What brands/designers do you think are comparable?)

        1. I think the quality is comparable to kate spade. I think both of these are slightly overpriced, kate spade seems to go on sale a bit more so you can snag a good deal, but I like the look of mbmj bags better so I wanted one. I think the leather holds up pretty well, my sister has had a black classic q hillier for 2 years and it still looks great. I’ve heard that the lighter colors do have problems with color transfer/fading, but mine is also black so I haven’t worried about it. I do condition mine regularly to try to extend the life because it’s a pricey purse!

          1. In general, I like the quality of MBMJ bags…I have had a black Classic Q Hillier large hobo that I have carried pretty much every day since 2009! The leather on the body of the bag has held up really well – the only signs of wear I really see are on the top handle – some cracking and wear on the bottom.

            I am in the market too for a new bag though and am trying to decide between another MBMJ (Francesca) or Kate Spade (Maryanne Gold Coast)….

    3. I may hate you now because that is a beautiful bag and I’m now lusting over it. I think it would be a good work bag. The only thing is, for work bags and my big totes, I generally like to have a outside pocket for things like my phone/keys/lipgloss – it makes my life infinitely easier. But if you don’t care about that, I think this looks like a great work bag!

    4. MbMJ’s bags are great quality. I have two and have carried each virtually everyday for over a year and they still are in great shape. I actually just handed one down to my little sister and she remarked at how good of shape the bag was in (and due to how tough I am on my things sometimes, I don’t think I can take credit for it!).

  5. I don’t mind sheer tops but am tired of having to wear a cami under everything.

    Need some advice from runners: time snuck up on me and I’m running a 10 miler in 3 weeks. The most I’ve run thus far is 7. Any tips for training up to that distance in a short amount of time? My goal at this point is to finish.

    1. If you’ve run 7 miles straight, I’d try running 8.5 straight this week or weekend. The general rule is training takes two weeks to take effect, so if you try to up your mileage less than two weeks out, you’ll still be in “recovery” mode from that effort during the race, and your body won’t have learned from it yet.

      You could also play around with some intervals. You could consider running 10 or 12 miles in a 7:1 run:walk ratio, for example. It’ll train your slow-twitch muscle without being as taxing on your cardio fitness.

      On the day of, I might go out expecting to do a 7:1 split or something like that. if after 7 miles you feel awesome and want to just run through the last 3, that’s great, but it’s better to save yourself for the end. This is all, btw, advice based on my experience as a distance runner, and not any sort of medical degree. Good luck!

    2. Everything that Cornellian said is great advice. Another little bit of knowledge that should help is that most distance plans where the goal is just to finish the distance do not have you run the full distance prior to the actual race. Half-marathon training plans generally go up to about 10-11 as a long run and marathon plans go to 20 – 22. However, if you can run 7, you can run 8 and if you can run, you can run 8.5. As Cornellian said, I would focus on doing that this week and the next.

      And, as always, start off slow on race day and you’ll be fine. Don’t let the race excitement get you going too fast. You can always pick it up if you feel great later in the race.

    3. If you’ve run seven, you should be okay to run 10. I’ve done it. It’s not pretty, but it can be done. Since you have three weeks, and they say you should not increase your mileage more than 5% per week to avoid injury, I would probably run 7.5 twice this week, 7.5/8/8 next week, 8/8.5/8 the week after and then rest before the race.

  6. Suggestions for my daughter in college who is looking to build a professional work wardrobe. She has a very small foot – 5 or 5 1/2 – and a very narrow heel. She’s looking for a range of shoes – kitten heels, wedges, traditional heels – but more on the conservative side vs the fashion side. Went to a Ferragamo store and they had nothing in AA size for her to try on. Struck out at Nordstrom’s and Saks. Best she could do was a pair of Bandolino black slingbacks off the clearance rack at DSW, but that’s not enough for a full wardrobe.

    Aside from Ferragamo, what “good” shoe makers offer widths? And I’m not sure that it’s entirely a width issue, but mostly a very narrow heel. Suggestions from the hive?

    1. If it’s mostly a narrow heel, could she try those heel inserts to bulk up the back? I’m usually a fan of only buying shoes that fit, but if she can’t find ANYTHING, maybe that would work?

    2. I have the opposite problem, wide feet, but I recommend checking out Zappos. They have a lot of options in various widths and sizes and the reviews can be helpful to determine how things fit. It’s free shipping both ways and you have a year to return something as long as you don’t wear them outside.

    3. Stuart Weitzman seems to run a little more narrow in the heel, as do some Cole Haans. I’ve had better luck adding a felt pad under the ball of my foot to make a heel fit than using those pads that stick inside the heel part (ouch, blisters). She may need to make friends with a salesperson at Nordstroms/Saks/Neimans/equivalent who can give her a call when those small sizes come in. Also, take advantage of free-shipping both ways and just order a slew of shoes from Zappos or somewhere so she can try them on. It may be less frustrating than chasing in-store inventory.

        1. Yep. One of my best friends has a small, narrow foot and SW are her go-to. Talbots also has narrow widths and 5/5.5 sizes.

    4. On the less expensive end of the spectrum, Talbots shoes come in various widths and depending on the shape, the regular widths are sometimes too narrow for my typically-normal foot. Definitely don’t pay full price though – there are frequent sales.

      Seconding Mascot’s recommendations to try Stuart Weitzman and Cole Haan, as well as going for a Zappos order.

      The blogger extrapetite (extrapetite DOT com) often has shoe suggestions for small of foot – she really likes the Ann Taylor pumps also.

    5. Michael Kors are among the few that regular come in 5 or 5 1/2 and they tend to run narrow. You might have her try them.

    6. Stuart Weitzman has tiny sizes and narrow widths. Maybe she could try the kid’s department at finer department stores or stores that resell Japanese and Asian brands, like yesstyle.

    7. I have had good luck with Naturalizers for narrow feet. You could check them out on Zappos–they look like they have smaller sizes and width options.

      1. Also, I have several pairs of Paul Mayer Attitudes (flats and kitten heels), and they stay on narrow heels because they have a tie that goes all the way around the shoe that actually works to tighten the shoe. I’ve seen them on Amazon. If you are in NYC, Harry’s on the UWS carries them.

    8. I wear a Size 5 and have narrow feet. Cole Haan, Stuart Weitzman, Cole Haan are great. On the less expensive side, I have 3 pairs of the Calvin Klein Diema (kitten heel) which I regularly wear at the office and might be a good mix of conservative and fashionable. Vanelli has also had some nice shoes in the past. But really, search on zappos for narrow shoes, order a bunch of options and walk around the house. I don’t go to stores anymore.

    9. My 23 year old sister is 4’11 and wears a 5′ or 5 and a half. She does well with Stuart Weitzman, if you want to spend that sort of money. You can custom order different widths to the store, and if they don’t fit, you can just leave them there and get a full refund. My sister also does some shopping in chinatown for cheaper shoes, actually, as women seem to have more petite feet.

    10. Lower end than Farragamo (which I agree can work), I like Franco Sarto for my “skinny” feet. So sad they stopped making the Bingo heel.

      I also buy foot petals ball pads and heel pads in bulk from Amazon. I think 90% of my shoes have some kind of insert.

      Kelly on the blog Alterations Needed writes about fitting shoes to smaller (and skinnier) feet. She loves her Louboutins (though they don’t work for me at all).

    11. Find a Saks off 5th or Neiman Marcus final call. Those little sizes always seem to have fab shoes at dirt cheap prices…

    12. Narrow heel, small size. The bane of my exsistance. Maryland Square usually has a small selection of narrow sizes. As does Naturalizer. The problem with both of those is that the shoes tend to be, ahem, “matronly”, to put it politely, at best. Or orthopedic looking. Apparently, only 200-year old grannies are supposed to have small feet with narrow heels.

  7. I am in a temp position that is coming to an end and am applying for other jobs. I know that some of my current managers (who know that I’m looking) may know people at the places where I have applied. If it is early in the application process (deadline just closed), can I ask a current manager to put in a good word for me with the prospective employer, or do I need to wait to see if I am invited to interview and then use current manager as a reference? Any other ideas on how to maximize my network here?

    1. Ask now! Otherwise you may not get an interview. I say something alone the lines of, “would you mind putting in a good word for me at X? I do not want to be overlooked as I believe I would be a great match for the position.” I use references as a way of landing an interview, not securing me a job. That part’s up to me, but I need the opportunity to sell myself.

      1. Thanks. That’s how I am feeling. I just want to get the opportunity to sell myself.

  8. I think this cardigan looks like pajamas… The whole look is rather sheer looking.

    Does anyone have any gift suggestions for a personal trainer? We worked together for close to 8 months, twice a week, and now I’m to the point where I feel comfortable working out on my own. I’d like to get him something as a thank you, but I’m at a loss. Normally I’d bake cookies, but that wouldn’t be appropriate here, since he wouldn’t eat them. Or, is any gift inappropriate?

    TIA!

    1. I think a nice thank you note would be the most meaningful. I do not think a gift is necessarily inappropriate. If he drinks, a bottle of wine? A cash tip would also probably be very appreciated.

    2. +1 on cash tip, equivalent to the price of one session. If that’s more than you want to/can spend, I second the note, maybe tied to a nice water bottle or other small, inexpensive work-out item.

    3. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to get your personal trainer a thank you gift (I give mine gifts at various points of the year). Try to think of stuff that he’s mentioned that he likes (a spin class near you, coffee or tea from a local coffee shop, lululemon gear, etc.) and then get him a gift card to that. Write out a nice thank you note and enclose the gift card in that.

  9. Today I have to hand in my [thissite] card. I am queen of frumpville instead. Oof. Clearly time to do a closet clean out for spring and invest in a few nice new basics.

    Anyone have any favorite basic black pumps that are good for wide feet? For example, Cole Haans pinch my toes like there is no tomorrow.

    1. Naturalizer Lennox – basic, bordering on frumpy but not quite there, but ridiculously comfortable. Naturalizers all come in wide – but I find just their regular sizes are good for slightly wider than average feet. I also really like the plain 3 inch heeled Nine West – I didn’t think I would but I really do, but likely these are for the slightly wide feet only.

      1. Second Naturalizers! I have slightly wider than normal feet, and have a couple pair of their wide width, and a few of their regular width. I find them very comfy and can find them on sale most of the time, too. I’ve never paid more than $50 for a pair (in Canada) from the actual store.

    2. I really like the Payless heels that were featured here a couple of months ago. They are the Comfort Plus Karmen Pump. For $20, they are worth a shot! They come in wide and regular widths and I think I saw them in flat black and black patent.

      1. I am obsessed with these $20 heels! I originally bought the gray and wore them so much (and got so many compliments) that I just picked up the red and tan also. I have far more expensive heels that aren’t half as comfortable – and after several months they’ve even held up well!

        1. Yup, I got them in black and nude-for-me and I love them. I feel like I’ve tried on every wide pair of heels in the world and something is always just a little off but these are great and the cost makes them even better.

          1. +1 Love, love, love these shoes. My long and painful search is over! Payless….who knew?

    3. love aerosoles tapestry- plain 3 inches, supportive, good arch support, and I like that the inside is not leather

    4. Calvin Klein’s Dolly pump in wide sizes is the only heel I’ve ever found comfortable. I have a very wide toebox but I think the rest of my foot is normal. They are reasonably priced too, about $60 and you can get them in a lot of different colors.

    5. Nine West Ambitious. They are fifty bucks right now on the site that is a well known jungle starting with an A. I have two pairs, they are very cute and comfortable (size 11, I have a wide foot but the normal width in these works for me).

  10. I’ve been meaning to buy a few of J. Crew’s cardigans, but I can’t decide between the Jackie and the Tippi. I have a few Tippi pullovers and love them, but the Jackie is cheaper. Opinions?

    1. I have about a half dozen Jackies and wear them all spring/summer long. They wear very well (some are several years old but still look great) and work equally well with jeans, pencil skirts, sheath dresses, sundresses, etc. I’ve never own the Tippi so I can’t comment on it, but I do think it is a big longer than the Jackie, and what I love about the Jackie is how it instantly adds a waist to pretty much anything, even when worn open.

    2. Jackies have the advantage of being machine washable and are usually somewhat less expensive, as you note. Mine typically last 2-3 years washing on cold and line drying, before they start looking misshapen, pilled or faded. They are 3/4 sleeve which, I have learned from this site, can be quite a divisive sleeve length.

      I can’t wear Jcrew merino without a full coverage layer underneath because of the Itchies, so that automatically nixes the Tippi for me. And if you’re planning on a cardigan that can go spring to summer, merino just seems too heavy, even at Jcrew’s nonexistent sweater thicknesses.

    3. I got one Jackie pullover and multiple Tippi sweaters and cardigans. The Jackie shrunk in the wash, and I felt like the crew neck was cut a bit higher than the Tippis (which I didn’t like). The Tippi material drapes better and the Jackie is a bit stiffer/thicker (IMO). The full length sleeve on the Tippi cardigans have been awesome for my long arms – I think the Jackie’s might be bracelet length.

      I’m definitely in the Tippi camp.

      1. Jackies are just past the elbow (I’m 5’9″, so it might be mid-forearm on shorter ladies), which is a length I love.

      2. FYI, I am a Jackie cardigan lover and HATE the Jackie pullover. The fabric is different/thicker on the pullover, and the pullover sleeves are a really awkward bracelet length, especially for the amount of volume in the sleeve (if they were tighter maybe it would be Audrey-esque elegant, but no), making it look like I stole my brother’s sweatshirt from elementary school.

    5. I have and like both (and I am 5″4 and busty, if it matters), but I think the Jackie looks more professional. Also, the Tippi started pilling the second I put it on. I got both on a decent sale (I definitely paid under $30 for each). I wouldn’t pay full price.

      1. The Tippi is also more sheer, in my experience (although I did get it in light purple, whereas I got the Jackie in dark red, so perhaps that has something to do with it).

      2. also, the Tippi is much more sheer (sorry if posts twice — first time seems to have been swallowed but perhaps will reappear elsewhere)

  11. A few times lately, I’ve work what I think of as a jacket inside (over a layer) and have gotten comments that it is such a nice coat. I have a cold office, so I joke about that, but it is bothering me that I have failed with two different items on the jacket v. outerwear test.

    1 is double-faced wool, slight trapeze shape. I might wear it as outerwear, but I purchased it to go with separates to work.

    The second was a wool jacket, but nothing about it screamed outerwear to me (I think outerwear = heavy wool; longer; puffy down; but even heavy wool to me is fair game for inside when you’re cold).

    Spring is just around the corner (I hope), but I’d like to tackle this on my few weeks left to practice.

    1. A few thoughts:

      -Are you sure the people complementing you know the distinction between calling something a coat vs a jacket?

      -I used to have a double-faced wool jacket that was frequently mistaken for outerwear by a man who sat in the office next to mine. (Sounds weird in retrospect– and he wasn’t in the habit of commenting on my clothing generally– but he used to joke that I should “take off my coat and stay a while.”) I think double-faced wool is kind of hard to pull off unless the item is very shaped.

      -If jackets are new for you, people might simply be reacting to a change.

      1. I agree that if you don’t normally wear jackets, that people may just be reacting to that.

        It’s hard to say without seeing them, but I typically think that it comes down to the material. I think I’d consider wool to be outerwear unless it had a very traditional suit jacket type cut to it. But I don’t wear jackets very often myself, so I’m interested to hear what others think. I just got a new jacket this week myself as I’m trying to start wearing them more, but we’ll see if I actually do it.

      1. Land’s End coats are definitely coats. Anything cut like a suit jacket is a jacket (meaning something I’m not going to take off inside).

        Something like a Pendleton-ish wool item — think of a hacking jacket (I think JCrew has something similar). Length ends b/w waist and butt (so longer than butt-length, I’d be on team coat or outside wear). I’d wear outside in the fall (maybe) but would put a big Land’s End wool coat over it in the winter b/c I’d need that layer inside, too.

        This is what I liked about suits — even if it was something big and boxy from the early 90s, innerwear and outerwear were distinct.

  12. Ever feel like you shop and shop and still somehow feel scrubby? I get overwhelmed by all the areas of my life I have to dress for: dates, work, weekend, weddings, parties, etc. As soon as I get one area under control, I feel frumpy in the next one!

    1. this is what wardrobe planning is great for! I’ve never been an organized person, but I spent a weekend a few months ago literally going through every single piece of clothing I own and putting it in a spreadsheet with its possible uses (e.g. work, weekend day, weekend night, party, workout, etc) and realized where the gaping holes in my wardrobe were. Then I listed out what I thought would be ideal items to fill those holes, and only shopped for those. Before I bought any item I whipped out my spreadsheet (I know… I’m super cool) and made sure I could make 3 outfit combinations with it. I used a nordstrom personal shopper for my casual wear because I’m not the trendiest person, and I wanted things that looked current but I could use for 2-3 years. It was surprisingly low cost ~500 for 8 pieces + 1 pair of shoes and I was very happy with the result.

      1. If you were the one emailing that spreadsheet around, would you mind sending one to me at ginjury17 (at) google mail? Thanks!

        1. I would also LOVE a copy! I’m trying to get my wardrobe a little more functional but I just can’t picture how this would work in a spreadsheet.

          Meyerlemony at gmail dot com! Thanks!

        2. That was me! I don’t have it on my work computer, but will send it your way this evening.

          2. sorry, my earlier posts got delayed and then stuck at the bottom. i’d love a copy too please!

            1234abcdefg567 at g mail

        3. Oh, me too, if you wouldn’t mind! I love the idea of keeping track of my wardrobe on a spreadsheet, but like SoCalAtty, I can’t quite picture it.

          wintergreen126 at gmail.

  13. I just bought this dress for an upcoming wedding where it will likely be below freezing:

    http://tinyurl.com/ce8fyto

    It looks see-through on the model, but it’s fully lined.

    How would you style it? It’s going to be really cold, so I might have to wear tights. Solid black? Closed-toe pumps? Colored shoes? I’d love ideas.

    1. I might try (tightly knit) nude fishnets. I think black would take away from the (fake) sheerness of the dress.

    2. I definitely would not wear tights with this dress because it would diminish it’s airiness. Unless you have to walk a long distance, I’d just suck it up and go bare legged with closed toe shoes. For an extra layer, I’d bring a warm pashmina in a brighter color.

  14. Ladies, I had a panel interview with four interviewers yesterday. Normally I’d send individual thank you notes, but in this case I don’t know how I would personalize them. And all the interviewers were at the same level, so I’m not sure how to pick one (and then ask that person to extend my thanks to the others).

    Group thank you note? Individual notes that all say the same thing?

    2. Individual notes, even if they all say the same thing. I doubt they will stand around and compare them. I dislike the whole trend of sending just one note to the lead person. In my experience, it doesn’t get shared with the rest of the team and I feel like my time wasn’t important enough to warrant thanks.

        1. Yep. I’d try to include one or two unique sentences that mention a topic you particularly connected with that person on, but if it was generally group conversation, don’t worry that they’re very very similar emails.

          1. Does everyone do emails these days? I’ve always done handwritten notes (except when writing to certain government offices where I know it takes ages for them to get their snail mail due to anthrax screenings).

          2. I’ve only seen emails in 2-3 years of interviewing junior associate candidates. In many cases, the interviewers are supposed to fill out a form with their reactions, etc, within a day or two after the interview, so speed is necessary for the note to have any impact. I’d send the email within a few hours after the interview — too fast and it looked like you had it just ready and waiting on your phone, but wait 3 days and the input’s already been given.

          3. TBK, it seems like there is a big divide on email versus handwritten notes. There have been a few posts about it here. I think the majority of commenters on Ask A Manager prefer email though.

            I typically default to email since there is a divide and I don’t normally have stamps, so that tips me toward email.

      2. I would make an effort to personalize individual emails at least a little. They can all have some pro forma “Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me. I enjoyed hearing about your experiences at XYZ.” Then personalize. When I get a thank you email from a candidate, I sometimes forward it to our recruiting office. If others do as well, they may end up next to each other in someone’s folder.

        1. +1. Attorneys in my office generally will forward thank you/follow up emails to everyone in the interviewing group, even if they receive it personally.

    3. We have, depending on how early in the day you have the candidate, between 30 minutes and 4 hours to provide our feedback. A decision is always made by the end of the day. Even at a slower moving company, I can’t imagine a mailed note arriving before the decision has been made.

  15. PSA for any law students in the DC area… PBS is hiring interns (unpaid, unfortunately) in their General Counsel’s office. Every time I see the posting, I kind of wish I was still in law school. Just search for it on their website.

  16. A former co-worker and sort of friend recently asked me to use some connections I have to pass along her resume for a job listing. The problems are: (1) the job is with one of my husband’s major clients, but in a different area than the one in which he works — so this isn’t a friend, and it isn’t my connection, but my husband’s connection that he relies on to send him work; (2) I never worked directly with this person and so have no idea how her work-product is. She has, however, had a rough time finding a job since our whole group was laid off awhile ago. Our former boss has also told me that this person interviews very poorly (the boss was asking how the person’s job search was going and I said I thought she was still looking, and the boss said “ugh, I hate to hear that, but she really does not interview well at all”). If I felt she were a stellar candidate, my husband and I would be thrilled to pass her application along, as an additional service that my hsuband could provide to the client. But since we’re basically blind here, and we’re not sure how she actually presents in interviews, we both feel hesitant. How do I handle this? To complicate things, she recently passed along a job listing to me for an amazing job. I’ve had two interviews, been told they love me, and that it’s between me and one other person. But, while she was kind to pass along the listing, it wasn’t one for which she was qualified and so it really wasn’t her putting herself out there for me at all (not that this is my criterion for helping people, but it makes it slightly less of an issue). What should I do?

    1. I think you can do two things: (1) tell her that your husband doesn’t pass on resumes for someone he can’t vouch for personally and leave it at that or (2) tell her you’ll ask your husband to flag the resume for review and then your husband can flag her resume for review with client but make it clear that he is just asking to look at the resume, not vouching for her personally.

      1. I was going to suggest something along the lines of #2. Pass the resume along, but don’t actually vouch for the person. That way, she may get a little extra boost of her resume being on top of the pile, but if she gets an interview it’ll be because they liked the resume and not because your husband vouched for her. I don’t know for sure, but it seems like this type of thing would be pretty common (more remote connections passing along resumes).

      2. I think this is good advice but I would just do (1) and forget about (2). Your DH can’t vouch for her qualifications and work style so he shouldn’t pass on her resume. I would just leave it at that.

      3. I’d go with #1. You can just let her know that everything just goes through the standard HR application process at the company, and leave it at that.

        1. Except it doesn’t, and she knows that. It’s a unique employer and the staff is around two dozen people. There’s no HR person.

  17. Hi there… what advice would give someone who was put in a position to essentially “co-manage” a team, but the other manager holds all authority? To lend to this issue, the manager with authority is clearly threatened by my new role as the “unofficial co-manager” is being quite difficult to work with. I have one clear task as it relates to this team, and any improvements I suggest (because of course, as the manager with authority I have to run everything past her), she says she’s not “that worried” about that particular issue and would prefer to move on without addressing it.

    I am at my wits end here… frustrated to the point that I experience anxiety before dealing with her. We both report (we are equal levels) to the same manager. I never feel like I can bring these things up with our manager without looking like I’m tattling and whining.

    1. I think it’s find to ask your manager how you and your co-manager should split authority. It sounds like your manager gave you more responsibility, but didn’t want to discuss the change with your co-manager or split the authority between the two of you because she didn’t want to deal with the politics. It’s likely that your co-manager is just as frustrated about this (especially if she was never officially told and from her perspective it just kind of “happened”) because now she has to work with someone who doesn’t technically have authority to make changes, but also is not a subordinate.

    2. Are you living my life? Having very similar issues with a colleague with whom I have been swapping out duties (for nearly 2 years!) but we will soon both be in the office permanently and I’m not sure how it will go. I know he is threatened by me and the changes that have gone on while he’s been out but I plan first to sit down with him to see if we can figure something out. If it doesn’t work it may be an indication it’s time for me to exit…

    3. My pet peeve – giving somebody the responsibility for a job but not the authority to carry it out. Go to your boss and get this figured out before it turns into something destructive.

      1. What happens when our manager already is aware there are issues and stands by the division of “responsibility” – as in other manager – all, me – none (except one specific task).

        I feel like I am fighting a losing battle….

    4. Story of my life. Luckily, the project I co-manage (it’s technically more of a liaison but our roles blur) has a lot of guidelines, templates, and due dates. When a team member fails to follow a particular guideline, I send a gentle reminder and a link to the guideline and cc the person with authority. Everything else, I just have to let it slide.

  18. I feel like more of a ‘re!!e this week after my very first visit to Nordstroms when DH and I were visiting Chicago this weekend. I had a bra measurement and I was wearing the wrong cup size, which after the many stories on here I was more bemused about than surprised. I got two new Natori bras, and now need to work on phasing out/replacing my VS wrong sized bras. I also checked out Paige jeans per other ‘e!!e recommendations, and took a pair home. So pretty and comfortable, and the dark wash is gorgeous. Now if only we could stop this eternal Narnia winter we’re having, I would feel OK about wearing my pretty new jeans outside. They’re the most expensive jeans (by double) I’ve bought, so I’m feeling a wee* bit protective over them. Anyway, thanks for the recommendations and Nordie love here – I’m a convert! Thankfully the closest brick and motor store is 3 hours away, so my wallet is relatively safe too. :)

    1. No wallet is safe from their website, free shipping and returns + world-famous customer service. I’m sorry ;)

      1. +1. Where I might be leery of ordering online in other places, I know that ordering from Nordy’s will never be a problem.

  19. Any advice on good denim brands for women who are small in the waist yet have larger/muscular thighs?

    I have decent luck with AG jeans and can occasionally find a pair of GAP jeans that work as well, but seeing as my office dress code is casual and I can wear jeans daily, I am looking for some other alternatives. I must have tried on 6+ different pairs of jeans this weekend, and it seems as though every pair that fits my thighs well causes that dreaded gap in the waist, or every pair that might fit in the waist can barely get past my thighs!

    1. I have larger thighs/hips/butt and a small waist, and I’ve found good jeans at Topshop, Madewell, and Zara (after trying on about 50 pairs at each store, though!).

    2. I just bought Levis Made and Crafted high waisted jeans and they fit my large-of-thigh-and-butt and small-of-waist-ness.

    3. I’m like you (though also petite, as an extra hurdle) and my go-tos are J. Crew matchstick fit and “modern skinny” jeans from Loft. I had a random win at Free People as well, but don’t know how consistent their jeans fits are compared to the above.

      One place I’ve given up ever trying is Express–I think their jeans are for the opposite shape (slim legs and hips with less of a narrow waist).

      1. I’m convinced Express constantly changes how their jeans fit. I have slim legs and when I was in high school they were great. 2 years ago I tried to go there and I had to put on a size 2 sizes above my normal one to get the waist to close, but the butt/legs were soooo baggy. So presumably then they were made for people with big thighs/butt and small waist. Not sure how they are now though. I ONLY buy paige jeans.

    4. I think you just have to get them taken in at the waist. It’s relatively easy (though not necessarily cheap) to do this…I’ve tried on tons. There’s so much that goes into well-fitting jeans, if a waist gap is you’re only issue, then that’s the way to go.

      FWIW, I like CoH, AG, and Joe’s (latter doesn’t always need a waist adjustment in my experience).

    6. If you’re ever in the UK, both Marks and Spencers (Eva jean cut) and Next (‘sexy high waisted’) have cuts that might work – I have the same problem

    7. Same problem… always. I generally have good luck with Gap jeans. But none of their other pants (cords, etc) work for me.

    8. ON’s sweetheart and AT’s curvy/julie fit me well, although the quality of either is not as good as I’d like (AT used to be great quality, but now ON is by far superior). I’ve been meaning to try Levi’s curve id and recently saw some wranglers with a cut that’s supposed to be good for those of us with an ample behind.

      Would love a pair in 100% cotton, but apparently those don’t exist any more?

    9. I’m forever searching for jeans that fit me because of this! I’ve recently discovered White House Black Market jeans and re-discovered Wranglers, specifically the “Aura” line. Love them!

    11. for a really cost effective solution, I love the ON rockstar skinny jeans. I have muscular legs from powerlifting but a 26 waist and there is so much spandex in the rockstar jeans that I’m always comfortable and the waist doesn’t gape. And you can usually get it on sale for $20 which is perfect for me because I wear through jeans at the inner thigh area every 9-10 months without fail

    12. I have the same problem, and I’m petite on top of that, so I’m going to co-sign on the J. Crew Matchstick and “Modern Skinny” at the Loft. I also have a pair of Joe’s Jeans that I like a lot.

    13. Second the recommendation for Joe’s, particularly the honey cut. Also, I’m a huge fan of Levi’s curve ID jeans for a cheaper option. I wear the demi curve (I have thick thighs, a tiny waist but no butt), and I’ve heard good things about the bold curve as well.

      1. I second the recommendation for ON’s Rockstar. I weightlift, so my thighs are sizable. I usually avoid skinny jeans like the plague, but there is a high % of spandex in these babies. I find they run TTS.

  20. DH & I are planning a short trip to Miami in May. Where should we stay? Neither of us have been before. Bonus points if there’s any sort of kitchen in the hotel room. Thanks ladies!

    1. Where in Miami would you like to be? I stayed at Fortune House in Brickel and was pretty impressed. Very reasonable rates, and the rooms were huge. It’s a converted condo building, so we had a living room, full kitchen, even a walk in closet. Walkable distance to Brickel bars.

    2. Have you checked out VRBO, Homeaway, or the like? They are condos that the owners are renting out, and usually have fully equipped kitchens, linens, etc.

  21. I’m going through a period of what I would consider mild-moderate adult acne. In general, my skin texture has become a little bumpy overall (which isn’t really too noticeable unless I shimmy right up to have my nose against the mirror), but I do have a couple of red pimples on the go right now.

    I’m in my mid-twenties and very rarely wear foundation/tinted moisturizer/etc. I am comfortable with the way that my face looks now, even though my complexion isn’t as nice as it usually is, but I’m worried that my choice to not cover my pimples with makeup is coming off as lazy or naive or…unacceptable.

    My office is very laid back and I don’t perceive this as a problem, but I’m wondering what your opinions are on women who choose not to cover their blemishes- when you see one, does this choice register as odd or inappropriate to you? Should I be more embarrassed by my skin than I am?

    I guess I am just wondering to what extent I am being judged for this.

    1. I would like to add that I am under the guidance of a dermatologist and have some prescription products to clear my breakouts, but of course they don’t work overnight or perfectly.

    2. I don’t see choosing not to cover up blemishes as odd. In fact, I sometimes wonder if there are people who eschew makeup because it isn’t helping the problem or makes it worse.

      But I don’t wear makeup, anyway, so I don’t think you need to be embarrassed about anything.

    3. I’ll be honest, it all depends on the rest of the presentation (and this is someone who has her own scarring as the result of breakouts). I’ve seen women working in retail jobs who don’t cover it up and they’re in a casual t-shirt and pants, nothing done with their hair, zero make-up — in that case I don’t think anything negative about the person but I would think it contributes to the overall blah look? On the other hand, I remember one particular woman I passed who obviously worked in a professional office, dressed in a sleek fashionable outfit, with not a drop of foundation covering her acne scarring, and I thought she looked fabulous (and I admired her for having the self-confidence to not cover it!). It would also depend on severity, I guess. Faded scarring or a few small zits is different than a handful of big glaring cystic zits, that kind of thing.

      And if this is something you’re worrying about, maybe get something to neutralize the redness of them without going all-out on foundation?

  24. I really don’t see how you can wear a white camisole, AND the sheer dot top, AND the cardigan without it looking dumb. And sheer is definitely not an option for my office, or even my city.

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