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Updated: Apr 26, 2019 267 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: V-Neck Sheath Dress in Recycled Stretch Ponte

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Although we just rounded up slow fashion workwear brands, it's new to me that J.Crew is using “recycled stretch ponte.” According to them, “We spent months looking for a thick, stretch ponte with that perfect holds-you-in firmness — and managed to find one made from recycled materials (yay!).” This bestselling dress of theirs is a nice mix of a fit-and flare-dress and a typical sheath dress, with a kicky little ruffled layer, and I like it. It's available in sizes 000–24 in three colors and with sale code SOGOOD it comes down to $49. V-Neck Sheath Dress in Recycled Stretch Ponte This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

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Comments

  1. NS - Bay of Fundy Tips

    I am headed up to Nova Scotia, Bay of Fundy area for a week at the beginning of May. My rough plans are to explore, hike, and take a day trip to PEI. I would appreciate any and all tips and must sees! I like hiking, all things nature, old things (buildings, cemeteries, etc.), wine, being by the water, and any vegan type food recommendations are very much appreciated.

    I am staying in a cabin on a larger property, so also plan to ask my hosts for recommendations.

    Thank you in advance!

    • Seafinch

      I am a Nova Scotian. Where exactly are you staying? There is a little bit of a food gentrification happening in that area and there are some really good places to try. Any time spent in Halifax? PEI is an excellent day trip. It is almost too small to drag out for a long trip.

      • NS - Bay of Fundy Tips

        Thank you! I am flying into Halifax, so definitely want to explore that area as well. I am staying a bit out of the way in Port Greville, with the understanding that I will have to drive a bit to get to things. I quite like doing that because I tend to stop wherever I see something interesting along the way!

        I have rough plans to check out Raven Head Wilderness Area and the Fundy National Park, right now, but I am open to all suggestions!

        • Lavinia

          I stayed in Alma, NB last summer and did a lot of hiking in Fundy. Highly highly recommend Fundy!

        • Lavinia

          Also, this would be a long drive from where you’re staying, but the Hopewell Rocks are pretty cool.

      • christineispink

        Visited Halifax and PEI last year on a cruise with my in-laws. In Halifax, we enjoyed the Maritime Museum and visiting the Citadel Fort. The public gardens (across from Citadel) were very pretty. We ate Cow’s Ice Cream and were told all the good food is on Quinpool St. (but maybe it’s just super-touristy). I’m a huge Anne of Green Gables fan so we did a super-Anne of Green Gables tour in PEI with Target Tours Atlantic but if you have a car you could do it all yourself. We went to her aunt’s house, which inspired the Green Gables house, Anne’s birthplace, and the Green Gables Heritage House. Sorry I don’t have better “local” tips, but as a tourist, we had loads of fun! Lunch and jelly we bought at PEI Preserve Company were delicious.

        • CoastalCanuck

          Have also visited the Maritimes (I’m from west coast Canada), and agree with all of these suggestions! If you have several days you may wish to drive the circular Cabot Trail (we stretched it over 2 days, which was perfect). Hiking all or part of the spectacular Skyline Trail is a must-do and a stop at the Alexander Graham Bell Museum is worthwhile as a leg stretch. A day trip to red sand PEI is a must – you can drive across via Confederation Bridge, take the small ferry from Nova Scotia, or combine the two. While on PEI I toured the Cow’s ice cream/cheese plant, which was pretty cool, as I enjoy this super-premium ice cream lots in touristy spots like Whistler. Back in Cape Breton NS, I wish I had had time to see the Fortress of Louisbourg National Historic site as I learned about this in high school :P If you’re in Halifax, definitely carve out some time to do the Alexander Keith’s brewery tour. I don’t even drink beer, and this was a terrific activity due to Alexander Keith’s historical significance and the great job the brewery does integrating beer with history. I need to make another trip out east!

    • anon

      Greenwich National Park in PEI is stunning. Terre Rouge in Charlottetown is probably the best for vegan options.

  2. S

    So. My company hired a belligerent conman as a senior executive- he lied about his whole work history and even faked his references. He was so senior, and approved by the Board, that it took us over 4 months to push him out. It finally happened yesterday after he drunk texted some racial slurs, and I am SO RELIEVED I will never have to be in the same room with him again. I think he had a personality disorder or some sort of mental illness, and was overall just an unpleasant, deeply unsettling individual. It’s been so utterly baffling, not to mention stressful, watching this play out in an otherwise friendly and competent company.
    Anyone else have stories like this?

    • Cb

      Nothing to this extreme degree but my team hired a comms guy who doesn’t seem to do any comms? No connection with the media, baffled by twitter, no understanding of design or graphics, etc. I’ve just been lumped with a project that he should be doing and am super frustrated by it.
      Oh, and I also had a boss who (in her mid-30s), printed out every email and filed them in folders!! She was so hopeless, luckily she only lasted 6 weeks.

      • CountC

        When I was working in a law department of a trade association before law school, I had a boss (general counsel) who did this also. EVERYTHING got printed out for her and the other attorney and “filed.” The EPA sent us a 1600 page document electronically and she wanted three copies of that printed out (one for her, one for other lawyer, and one for the file cabinet). We managed to convince her that time that really, the EPA didn’t want you to print out that gigantic document.

        She also couldn’t use her office, literally couldn’t walk into it, because there were so many boxes of paper everywhere. We had to close her door when member companies came to visit because it was so unprofessional. She hadn’t been given a computer in 5 years because she never used one (barely used her Blackberry). She used to sit next to us at our desks, pick up our phones, dictate to us right there, and essentially micro-manage us to death. She also usually had been drinking. One of the other lawyers threw a book at us after the copier got jammed.

        Other than that, it was a fun place to work!! hahaha

          • S

            But… WHY? Why is she still there?! Sometimes politics are so weird and nonsensical.

          • Anon

            I work with trade associations in DC, and even the large, well-known ones are shockingly inept/petty/high school/severely disorganized/all-around circuses. It’s eye-opening.

            I also know a partner who will print out a Word doc, make corrections on paper, have his assistant scan the paper to the drafter…for the drafter to make at most 3 changes that could have been emailed.

        • Ellen

          My guess is that she was related to or otherwise knew somebody important in the organisation. In my law firm, the manageing partner hired a son of a big cleint, even tho he was a loser, and he did that to keep the business. The son had to report to me, and he really did NOT want to do real work. He managed to charm my secretary, and they dated, which was NOT prohibited by our rules, but once he failed the bar, and had $ex with her on the conference room table, the manageing partner made me fire him. So it happens.

        • Anonymous

          Oh man I hear you on partners whose offices look like a hoarder’s house. I used to work in an office where one very senior partner was like that. Shockingly, the office developed a serious pest problem. The partner insisted her office wasn’t the problem and refused to let anyone in. Everyone had to get rid of any food (RIP late night snacks) and paper/cardboard, including sending all paper files offsite, but they still couldn’t find the problem. Idk how it came about, but finally she was forced to clean out her office. Yeah there were mouse nests and dead roaches and godonlyknows what in all that paper. Fortunately most of the files were from like 1970 (and she wasn’t an estate lawyer or anything) so no great loss afaik, but still, super gross, and that office had to be gutted.

        • cbackson

          I’m a 2008 law school grad and I feel like I started practicing right at the end of the paper files era in biglaw. Definitely still had a few partners who kept a paper file copy of everything that they did, from memos to deal documents, even though we had a document management system.

          • Is it Friday yet?

            Our GC is 60-ish and is also still big on paper files for everything, despite our document management system. Technological dinosaurs still exist. :) But, ya know, he’s very competent at his job, so no big, except for the dead trees (and also we have a huge file room, and a file clerk).

    • Anon

      Wow! I would love to understand how his story unraveled and how he was exposed. There are various studies about sociopaths and findings show that something like 25 percent of senior execs fall in the sociopath category so this is not surprising- they really are able to fool people for some period of time until it all falls apart….so interesting. I think one of the early red flags is the high level of drama they create and that always surrounds them…not normal

      • Anonymous

        I can’t believe the 25% figure. If it were true, I’d work in a hotbed of intrigue, like “24,” but without the dying. Or GOT. The most I can say is that there are some jerks and some people I am relieved not to be neighbors with. The only nutter I can think of is Elon Musk. And while I think that Jeff Bezos is a lot of things with all of his recent headlines, sociopath isn’t one of them.

        No one I have ever come across has an ecru business card that is engraved. So whatever the % is, I doubt it is anywhere near 25%.

        • Anonny

          Being a sociopath doesn’t mean you’re a “nutter” it means you are unable to empathize which in most corporate jobs means you can be cut throat and strategic without considering it’s implications to others. The people who decide to lay off 100s of people for their own bonus money are probably sociopaths.

          • Anonymous

            I don’t think they are psychopaths though. If a company is doing so badly that it has to have giant layoffs, they alternative is . . . I’m not sure what. Just to go out of business?

            I think a lot of jobs are just really hard, but someone has to do them (and they may have some sort of PTSD; I know a lot of clerics who are in counseling themselves b/c of all the human strife they deal with 24/7). If you are an EMT, you just have to compartmentalize all of the horrible stuff you see and go on (and maybe you have some PTSD and maybe you meditate and maybe you medicate and maybe you go on runs). Same with social workers and police and people who work in ERs.

          • Anonymous

            My spouse has had to lay off people and it just tore him up. It wasn’t his decision and he had no input. And yet it seems to read like he should have given back some of his paycheck (which the company would have loved, but it would have done the layoffs anyway).

            All I can say is that businesses in trouble have lots of problems but lack of empathy isn’t generally one of them among the humans who are on a sinking ship together (and for those not in a round of layoffs, there is an intense battle inside of “I can’t abandon my post and my team” vs “I had better get out of here b/c I will probably be next”).

            It is awful all around.

          • Anon

            She specifically mentioned lay offs for their big bonuses, not company insolvency. Stop reading what you want to read and read what’s there.

        • Anonymous

          Wait what’s wrong with engraved ecru business cards? And does that translate to engraved ecru stationery? Asking for a friend….

          • S

            I think it’s an American Psycho reference? Though it should be ‘bone’ rather than ecru, and have a watermark. I may have seen that movie a few too many times…

      • S

        OP here. It was pretty immediately evident as soon as he started. He alienated nearly everyone he spoke to right away, disrupting meetings and getting into confrontations. He was also borderline nonsensical, making grand claims, but nothing added up. Extremely Trumpian. The real mystery is that he managed to hide it during the interview process. One of my friends is one of the people who interviewed him, and he said that he totally had them fooled with his infectious “get stuff done” energy. We’re also a fairly young company with young (like, Forbes ’30 under 30′) leadership so I think it was a real learning experience all around. Our CEO strongly errs on the side of giving people chances and not making rash decisions or judgments, which I genuinely appreciate especially given how rare that is in the corporate world, but I think he may be more ready to nip problems in the bud after this.

        • S

          And as far as unraveling, most of us tried to be professional and not gossip too much, but eventually we all realized that literally everyone else felt the same way about this guy, and essentially started a little mini-insurrection to get him out. People started to outright declining internal meetings he scheduled, and I heard that the operations team refused to book his plane ticket to visit the office in which they are located along with the other execs. The drunk texts were just the final justification to fire him on the spot. Can’t lie, it’s been a real bonding experience to have a common enemy, so he was good for at least one thing!!

    • LaurenB

      I personally know of a situation in which an IT person brought in his own laptop and used the company wifi to download porn onto his own laptop all day long. It wasn’t visible to anyone else as he had his personal laptop on the floor, turned away from anyone entering his office. Another IT person noted that this particular person was using an incredible amount of bandwidth (forgive me if I’m not using the right expression), investigated, brought it to the attention of the company owners and voila. Fired the same day.

      • S

        That is crazy!! The nerve of some people. Also, how much of that stuff do you actually need, where you must be downloading it all day multiple days in a row??? So strange.

      • Housecounsel

        I was in-house counsel at a company when an outside accountant realized that our CFO was embezzling. The accountant told the CEO, who told one other employee and me. The other employee and I had to spend the next week combing through email accounts and expense reports and financial records gathering evidence while working down the hall from the cheerful CFO and business transpired as usual. It was agony. especially because I really liked the CFO and was shocked. At the end of the week we walked her out and called the police. The whole experience was awful.

        • Anonymous

          I discovered a COO was embezzling. It was a mess. There were many other problems at that company and I still have a lawyer on retainer for my own protection years later.

          • Anonymous

            Embezzlers are a cancer — there should be a place in h*ll for them. And, surprise, most of my embezzlers were women (it’s like they could smile at you while taking the wallet out of your purse). So messed up.

          • Anon

            In the big embezzlement cases it seems to always be big male CEOs and CFOs but on a local level, reports of embezzlement always seem to be some low level office manager who just skimmed a few dollars here and there that somehow led to $200k over ten years.

          • Anonymous

            I agree! This particular embezzler was a man, but the woman leading the company was doing some shady $hit too. I may not have found out about it, but this dip$hit got himself thrown in jail for getting rip roaring drunk and hitting a pedestrian. That triggered the owner to finally start asking where the money she kept getting asked to replenish was going. She’s also an idiot.

    • Vicky Austin

      I’ve posted about this before, and I wasn’t around to see it actually happen, but my hospital’s CFO of a few years ago just…went off the rails. He had an affair with one of the girls who worked the clinic front desk (who then left her husband, who also works for us, and two children), and when it was discovered that she was pregnant, a whole lot of other stuff came out about how half his resume and half his work product while employed were lies, and he (and the girlfriend) skipped town in the middle of the night, and we’re not really sure what’s up with them now but he continues to harass our employees and talk bad about the company online, including messaging my husband on LinkedIn when he first started here to “warn” him, and every so often leaving us scathing Google reviews if we haven’t paid attention to him in a while. This is somebody who I genuinely believe might be dangerous, given how often he seems to need to poke the hornet’s nest with us.

      • Anonymous

        We had someone snap a while back and start e-mailing clients that her husband (who worked for one client) was having an affair, lots of details, etc. From her work account. We had to have her account shut down and then actively monitored. I think IT had to take a vow of silence over the whole thing. Not sure if anything re the spouse was true or not (I’ve met him; he seemed not the type), but it’s like she lost her lucidity. I think she’s better now, but she left (not over this) soon after.

      • Anon

        There are children employed at your front desk? Or the CFO had an affair with a woman?

        • Vicky Austin

          Sorry, you’re right. He had an affair with a woman who worked the clinic front desk.

    • Anon

      Our head of office, male, married with two teens, had a fairly flagrant affair with his head of sales, female, married with three kids.

      They both left their spouses and moved across the county together to a different office. He took a promotion. She took a demotion.

      Less than a year later, they broke up. She got fired. He moved his wife and kids across the country to be with him. Head of sales lady moved back to our coast and took a long time to get back on her feet. As far as I know she has never held an equivalent position since. He continued his path of promotions to senior management.

    • Anon4this

      My previous boss (university admin) was completely unqualified for his position and probably lied on his resume. Every document he ever gave us was recycled from somewhere else and didn’t originate with him. He dumped all of his work (especially budget management) on me and screamed at us if we didn’t agree with him. Total and utter fraud that should have been caught if we had done our due diligence with checking unsubmitted references. We were forbidden to do so by the committee chair, who was a bully, and it came back to bite us. It took us an entire year to get rid of him because he negotiated well and had signed a three year contract (lasted two) and the university tried some mentoring before dumping him, just so they could say they did. He wasn’t salvageable. He left for a job a level below (essentially my job) at another university and was fired from there for plagiarism. Justice served. I think he is now a pariah in the field and may have switched fields to something completely unrelated.

    • Anon

      I have a second one. One of the VPs at my former company was apparently having an affair that involved BDSM and when he broke it off, the affair partner hacked his email and sent compromising photos of him to everyone in his contacts. Not only by email but by US mail as well. There were chains, straps, and a ball gag involved.

      When the emails started arriving IT was running around telling everyone not to open attachments until they could figure out how to universally delete the emails from everyone’s inbox. But then the US Mail started arriving and they could not get on top of it.

      I don’t work there anymore but that guy still does.

      • Anonymous

        OMG

        And it is wrong that I would be less no-OK with this happened to me if I actually looked good in the leaked pictures? But I am so vain that I’d be all “they will see my bad posture and tummy and lumps on my very generous hips” and not “OMG compromising pictures.” I am sure my co-workers suspect that I’m not secretly a bikini model but I wouldn’t ever want this so conclusively confirmed.

    • Anonymous

      Somewhat similar but my first job out of law school was with a tiny firm founded by a woman who claimed she was a biglaw associate for a number of years before hanging a shingle. Come to find out she was a biglaw staff attorney (not to be a snob but there is a big difference, IMO) for about 6 months before she started her own firm. Her lack of understanding of basic principles was apparent and she was sued for malpractice for a maaaajor screw up in an area she held herself as an “expert” in. I left. She is still running her firm, sans associates.

    • Anonymous

      You mean stories other than the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, right?

    • Small Firm IP Litigator

      At my old biglaw firm, we hired a seemingly normal albeit a bit db-y mid-level associate. Ivy UG and law school, came from another V10 firm. Everything was OK for about a month or so, and he then just went off the rails in every way possible. He started to harass female lawyers, including inappropriate touching. He openly drank at work, and a few of saw him using what appeared to be cocaine. He emailed things to clients without approval. He eventually got fired when he threw a book at one of our IT people and tried to start a fist fight with her (yes, her). Moral of the story is biglaw is so fun.

  3. Cb

    Working from home today and realizing why I don’t do it that often – I need a second screen! Anyone had any joy using an ipad as a second screen? My ‘workspace’ is a tiny table in our sitting room and I’d really prefer not to have an actual screen set-up. Unfortunately, there isn’t another place for the desk to go.

    • Ellen

      You can get a docking station so you can plug in your computer, and from there you can buy a 32″ HDTV to doubel as a computer monitor and when you plug that in, viola, you have 2 screens! Just have your teck guy do it for you if you are not sure of what you want. My teck guy helped me, even tho I knew he just wanted to stare at me, so I let him.

    • Ribena (formerly Hermione)

      I keep my emails open on my iPad while I’m working on my laptop. Apart from anything else, my laptop is VERY slow to switch tasks.

      • Cb

        That’s a good idea. Sometimes I just need another screen for reference so if I could set up the ipad besides me, I could open files through OneDrive.

      • AnonInfinity

        This is exactly what I do when I WFH. Or I open something up on the iPad that I just need to read.

    • Anon

      Yeah, I love not having the commute and not having to put on real clothes, but I really need a whole second workstation – monitor, mouse – and blergh, I just don’t want that stuff at home.

      • Anonymous

        I find that WFH goes better when I have something big that I need to read and digest (or something I am editing a draft of). I may show up with a file box of printed documents, but that box goes back to the office pronto. I like to keep my home as non-office as possible.

      • aBr

        Ditto. We have a small portable screen that I got off Amazon for around $200. It works well as a second screen at home and is also small enough (think an oversized iPad) that it fits in my carry-on for business trips where I don’t want to work off a tiny monitor in my hotel room.

  4. Anon

    I recently left a job on good terms, and after I left I became Facebook friends with former colleagues so we could stay in touch. (I have a hard rule about not connecting with current co-workers.) I am absolutely shocked at some of the bigoted articles and sentiments they post – particularly against Muslims. Stuff like – the US is headed for Sharia law if we don’t stop them, we need to ban all Muslims at the border, Muslims are committing welfare fraud, etc. It’s so disturbing. And what’s worse – many of these former colleagues are in ethics and compliance, HR and labor and employment law, so they have a direct impact on how people are treated in the company. I am a religious minority myself and find this really offensive. I’m bummed out and demoralized that people who I liked and thought were “good” hold such hateful beliefs.

    • Ribena (formerly Hermione)

      You may already be doing this but I make extensive use of the Report button when I see social media posts like that but don’t want to get into an argument. You can also mute them so you do not see their posts.

    • Just as bad

      Honestly, that is the sort of thing I’d report to your old company. You can even do it anonymously with screenshots. But not reporting things like that is a perfect example of the old “inaction when you see injustice is just as bad as being a perpetrator.” You are just as bad as them if you see people who directly effect how people at your company are treated (and who is hired and fire – HR often does an initial screening on resumes) and you do nothing, especially when it is just SO easy to do something. Those same HR people get a resume that says “Mohammed” or “A’isha” and throw it out no matter how qualified.

    • Leaving

      I would report this to my old company too. These people are in charge of other people’s careers and livelihoods and are supposed to be preventing human rights violations (as HR).

  5. Anon

    Is it rude to take a bite while your meal companion is talking? How to balance eating and talking during meal in a way that is both healthy and polite?

    I recently had dinner with someone and noticed that she would frown whenever she was talking, and I was digging into my food. It seemed that she was happier when I just put my utensils down and listen to her until she finished talking before taking a bite. I’m not talking about the moments before a meal when you wait for everyone to start eating before taking a bite. This is after the meal has already started. I felt that as long as I eat with my mouth closed, it didn’t matter whether I stop to listen to someone talk or not because it’s quite obvious as I’m cutting my food that I am listening to them already. Now I’m wondering if it’s more polite to put down or stop cutting my food if the other person starts talking, and only eat it until we finished talking about that particular segment of a topic?

    • Anonymous

      That’s weird. You are supposed to take a bite while she is talking, then she takes a bite while you respond. If you can’t eat while someone else is talking, the only way to eat is in total silence.

      • Anon

        right – i thought you were *supposed* to eat while the other person is talking, so that you can respond without food in your mouth and they can eat while you are talking.

    • anon

      This is weird. If you don’t eat while your companion is talking (and presumably you’re not eating while you’re talking) you’ll never finish dinner! Chew with your mouth closed and pay attention to what she’s saying. That’s all that’s required!

    • Anon

      When, pray tell, would this person have you eat? Yes, of course, you eat while the other person is talking; then when it’s your turn to talk, they eat.

      The only exceptions I can think of to this is when you’re having a Really Serious Conversation with a romantic partner or when a business colleague is imparting important info right as the meal is served and s/he will be done imparting that important info in a minute or two. But I mean, unless she expects you to sit there all night and wait for your food to get cold, of course you eat while she talks and vice versa.

    • anon

      “How to balance eating and talking during meal in a way that is both healthy and polite?”

      Alright this is officially worse than “is my water bottle professional.” Is this the first meal you’ve eaten with another person? The only time where it might be appropriate to stop eating would be if someone was trying to tell something extremely important in that moment and you wanted to show complete focus on them. Or if you are eating like an animal and it’s off putting. What’s the other option? You talk, she listens, you both simultaneously take a bite, then she talks, you listen? Good grief.

    • LaurenB

      This person’s a weirdo. There’s nothing wrong with what you were doing.

    • Anonymous

      I wonder if she just has misophonia? I’m not sure anyone hates anything else as much as some people hate the sound of chewing.

    • Worry about yourself

      Whaaaaat? I’ve never heard of that rule. You should write to Lizzie and Dan over at Awesome Etiquette, but I’m pretty sure they’d back us up on this, that’s a ridiculous expectation. You would eat so slowly if you only ate when neither of you were talking! Now, if you seemed really distracted with your food while they were talking, I might understand them feeling annoyed, but honestly, just taking a bite shouldn’t be an issue. And if what they’re saying is really so important it needs your undivided attention, maybe it’s not something you say over food.

    • Idea

      I am thinking that her frown was not you-eating-related and was something else.
      You can ask her directly. You know, after you swallow the food in your mouth – “Hey, you had a frowny look on your face while I was eating – what are you thinking?”

    • Anon

      Maybe its not a matter of eating, but just a matter of looking at the other person rather than your plate, while you are eating and she’s talking..

  7. anon

    Does OfMercer ever have promotion codes? I’ve been eyeing a top for a while but don’t want to pay full price.

  8. Amputation of sleeve ruffles

    I love a bit of ruffle, the the sleeve thing has me wanting to get out a seam ripper (or go the tailor) and get rid of all cuff ruffles on sleeves. They are so annoying. And now that our office A/C is on full blast, it is hard to stuff that ruffle into a jacket, cardi, or blazer.

    I just want to cut them all off.

    • Biggestballsintheroom

      I am so over the ruffles on everything and the stupid cold shoulder thing. HATE!

    • Idea

      I tried on a blouse with tiered ruffle sleeves starting from elbows to wrists – they looked like 1970s bellbottoms for my arms, and I just thought, this will be so 2018/2019 in 10 months. No.

  9. Daffodil

    Do you have any classic shell-tops to go under suit jackets that you love? I have several brightly colored jackets for summer, and need to buy some neutral-colored tops to go underneath.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve got a couple of Calvin Klein pleated neck tops that work well under suits. Mine are sleeveless but they usually have a variety of styles/patterns

      • Velma

        I have at least 5-6 of these sleeveless CK tops–different styles (pleated jewel neck, V-neck with a twist, etc.). They are great. I handwash them, and they last forever.

        • Velma

          P.S. They are usually labeled dry clean, but they are polyester knit. Handwash works perfectly.

        • Senior Attorney

          I have those and machine wash them on delicate and they turn out fine. Love them!

      • Pep

        I have a million of these. I throw them in the washer (cold water) in a lingerie bag with no problems. Good buys on them at Nordstrom Rack and TJMaxx.

    • Anon

      Weirdly I’ve had good luck with easy care blouses/shells at lands end. I usually am a bit of a fiber snob and tend toward silk. But I wanted a specific color this winter I couldn’t find and found it in a synthetic at LE. I am surprised how much I like it. I even wore it for headshots yesterday.

      They don’t have my specific style anymore but anything they call a “crepe” is the same fabric.

    • lsw

      No recs, but can you tell me where you get your brightly colored jackets? I’m always on the lookout!

      • Anon

        Not OP, but I get mine at Talbots and J.Crew. (I’m still lusting over the cotton candy linen one featured a couple weeks ago.)

    • TexasAttorney

      Try Poshmark. They have a ton of them, around $10. If you haven’t used Poshmark, try it. It’s incredible. If you need referral code, use merrpg, it’ll get you $5 and I’ll get $5 too.

  10. Anon for this

    Can any Ottawa rettes recommend a marriage counselor? Anyone else have any insight into what qualifications might be best to weed out possible counselors? I am totally overwhelmed and have no idea how to start to pick one.

    • AMB

      Andria Robin on Carling – only saw her individually myself but I know she does couples and is lovely.

  11. anon

    What are your best tips for time management? And energy management, I guess to the extent that energy offers more time. Basically things are getting really busy for me and I just need more time to do everything. I don’t spend much time at all doing household chores, so no opportunity to outsource things, no kids or anything like that, and I’d say my time management skills are pretty good. But I’m sure I’m overlooking areas where they could be better and I just need more hours in the day. I’m not sure I have huge draws on my time other than work during the day, other than working out and commuting. I won’t and can’t cut those respectively. Help?

    • Anonymous

      Group short, like tasks. For example, if I have 3 follow up emails I need to send today in 3 different matters, I send the follow up emails one right after the other instead of waiting until I’m working on each matter. That way, I get the emails done in ~20 minutes instead of interrupting my work flow 3x a day. Alternatively, pair short tasks with a break. I respond to emails when I get up to get more water (or read here). Interrupting, say, writing a brief to respond to emails diverts too much time and energy away from writing. A 5 minute email costs me way more than 5 minutes of focus.

    • CoastalCanuck

      Not sure if you have access to Lynda.com (your company may have a subscription, or you might have free online access through your library system), but there are some EXCELLENT resources there by a presenter called Dave Crenshaw. Like life-changing. He preaches about minimizing communication channels for incoming tasks/messages/etc., like only using one email address/one cell phone/one calendar to cut down on time to process all these incoming items and reduce errors or missing items. He also advocates cutting down on physical collection points where items pile up, like beside the door, the kitchen counter, the car, etc., which then create piles that tend to build. I could go on – he also has great systems for using Outlook, processing email and scheduling time to action follow-ups. Can’t speak highly enough about Dave Crenshaw’s time management and organization systems!

  12. Vanity sizing

    How crazy is vanity sizing now that there is a 000 as a size? I remember when I left girls sizes (as a 14, after 4th grade) they started at a 2.

    I mention this b/c I have a 4th grader who is about to outgrow girls’ sizes in clothes (already a 9 in shoes) and she has no hips or anything else to fill out women’s clothes (so 5-2 but 85 pounds even though she eats a ton right now). Where do I look for things for her? I think she is past Athleta Girl and possibly into real Athleta (and for my budget, that means probably Old Navy and Gap Fit until she can fit into my clothes).

    • busybee

      I despise vanity sizing with a passion. You might have some luck with Zara, H&M, and Forever 21.

    • Anonymous

      Vanity sizing is absolutely insane, but it is not quite so insane at the stores that cater to teens. American Eagle, for example, is relatively inexpensive and less “vain” in terms of sizing.

      There is no need to buy a teen or tween, whose sense of style may change even more rapidly than her clothing size, a whole wardrobe of high-end adult-sized clothes. Sure, you love your Athleta leggings, but you probably wear them for years until they wear out. Your kid will outgrow them and/or decide she doesn’t like them within a year, tops. Buy her a small wardrobe of reasonably priced teen brands with just a handful of pricier special pieces that she really loves and will wear all the time. For my teen these are Bean boots, Birkenstocks, and one pair of “fancy” jeans.

    • Housecounsel

      My eleven-year-old is about the same height but ten pounds heavier. She is wearing a 2 or even a 4 in some brands (XS adult or XXL child – barely – in Athleta). She wears a size 8 shoe. I refuse to buy her expensive shoes until her feet stop growing!

      • Anonymous

        They are really (in my city) inappropriate — like club wear for people still in puberty. And our current school has a dress code, so no.

      • Anon

        +1, this is what juniors is for. 25 years ago, when I grew out of children’s clothing, I moved to juniors because that is what works before you have hips. Clothing is not designed for a child to move from girls to women’s clothing, that just doesn’t make sense since women’s clothing is designed for people who have gone through puberty.

        If you don’t like what your local department stores have, look on like. I like Kohl’s juniors departments the most for my kids, but I’m also not willing to spent adult prices for their clothing.

        • Anonymous

          It’s funny b/c I’ve been working for 25 years, so I show at places that have kids clothes and grownups clothes and nothing in between (Lands End, Brooks Brothers, Athleta, Gap, Banana Republic). I can mail shop for me and the kids, so the mall is where we go to return things en route to seeing a movie. And even though kiddo is 10, she has been wearing school uniforms (Wal*Mart / Gap / Lands End) since she was 5, so we are way underexposed to the tween market (and yet, uniforms won’t do for weekends, summer, and the school uniforms end after next year anyway). FWIW, we have almost run out of uniform options, so she wears legging under her dresses and jumper to keep things non-escandalo. Some items come in adult sizes (but cut for adults, not for someone who wears a girls 10-12 shirt shirt but the 14 dresses are barely decent).

    • Anonymous

      She can’t still wear girls’ 14 or 16? My 4’9”, 74-lb seventh-grader is still wearing an 8 in most brands of jeans, a 10 in brands that run super small, and a 10 in dresses and tops. I am a size 2 and could easily wear a kids’ XL or 14 if I were a bit shorter (I am 5’6”). I would suggest checking out the kids’ department at Nordstrom. Athleta Girl runs small. If you are willing to spend the money, ivivva (LLL kids’ line) runs much bigger.

      • Anonny

        +1, I am full grown 120 lb size 2 woman and I occasionally buy kids XL/16 clothes without issue

        • Sadie

          Same, when I used to weigh 125 at 5’2″ I wore a girls XL/16. I know this because I bought all my ski gear that size because it was so much cheaper. I am fairly straight of hip and have no junk in my trunk though lol.

      • Anonymous

        The tops would fit (or be too big, width-wise). The issue is that the dresses aren’t long enough (and the leggings don’t seem to always reach her socks in winter, so sometimes she has exposed skin which gets cold). The skirts generally must be within so many inches of the knee, so if it “fits” it may be quite short.

    • AnonMom

      I have a similarly sized tween. Gap and ON often have their girls clothes available up to size 18 if you shop online, and the girls 14-16-18 sizes seem to overlap with the womens XS-S sizes depending on the exact article of clothing.

    • Anon

      I bought almost all my clothes in high school and college from Forever 21 and Target. Target has a really good juniors section.

    • Anon

      Juniors sizing is cut more straight up and down than misses sizing. Your daughter probably has some idea where her friends are buying clothing (my daughter was all about Brandy Melville at that age and size) but departments labeled junior, like BP at nordstrom, will very likely have things that fit her.

      And athleisure is probably a good bet too.

    • Anon

      When I was in HS, I was 5’4″ and 105 lbs and wore a size 0/XS, but they were often a bit big. I am now in my 30s, 115 lbs and wear a 00/24/XXS.

      Vanity sizing has gotten completely out of hand.

      • Anonymous

        Ha, I’m in my late 40s and a solid 6/8 b/c the 125# I’m sporting now are apparently not all lean muscle mass even though I weighted maybe 5# less when I finished high school. But even in high school, I was never smaller than a 6 (probably a 2 now — I was sporty and had very thick thighs/glutes).

    • anon a mouse

      H&M, Uniqlo, Zara all run narrow and have very small sizes. Also check out Aerie and American Eagle.

    • Anonymous

      Super late to this, but I’d recommend looking at Aeropostale and American Eagle. Aeropostale I remember was a bit more for skinnier teens (and cheaper than AEO), and American Eagle is a bit more for older teens, but probably has the sizing you’re looking for.

  13. NYC advise

    Hi Ladies, I’m off to NYC next week to see To Kill a Mockingbird. I CAN’T WAIT! Any recommendations for fun places to eat? We’re not foodies at all, but I’m so bad at planning where we’ll eat and I know we’ll pass a ton of great places. Looking for suggestions for breakfast, lunch and dinner. TIA!!

    • S

      Just stay out of the theater district and def Times Square for food, for the most part. It’s overpriced and mostly mediocre. One exception, I love the Russian Vodka Room for atmosphere, food and their infused vodkas.
      The Highlands is my favorite gastropub. I also recommend dim sum – if you go during the weekday, Jing Fong won’t have a wait and I think is half price. Really fun experience. Joe’s Shanghai is also a classic if you like soup dumplings.
      If you don’t mind trekking to Brooklyn, check out Industry City during the daytime (weekday) or early evening (weekend). It has fantastic food in a big food hall, and lots of fun shops, art installations, and artisanal distilleries. Then walk to Sunset Park nearby for a perfect view of the city skyline.

    • K

      Honestly, NYC is so full of good restaurants, I would use Yelp to find high-rated places that are walking distance from you. It’s not worth spending money on a cab or a long time on the subway to get to another neighborhood when whatever neighborhood you’re in probably has numerous great selections within a couple of blocks. Good luck and enjoy!

      • E

        Also check out The Infatuation, which is a fantastic restaurant resource in NYC. ThEy just bought Zagats! Hip and current reviews by a million current categories.

    • Anon

      La Masseria on 48th if you are in the mood for Italian. I also like Esca on 43rd but it’s a little pricey. Midtown has a bad reputation but there are some decent places in the area. Just avoid 7th Avenue.

    • Worry about yourself

      I recommend the Hotel Chantelle for brunch if the weather is nice, see if you can go when Dandy Wellington and his band are playing! Either way, it’s a gorgeous outdoor rooftop space, and the food is great.

    • christineispink

      LOVED To Kill a Mockingbird! Going to see it a second time with my mom and MIL for mother’s day. What area are you staying in?

      • NYC Advise

        We’re staying at the DoubleTree in Times Square. Any recommendations? It’s been about 5-6 years since we’ve visited. Going to the 911 museum and going to see Hillary & Clinton on Friday night (TKAM on Saturday). I’m so glad you loved it.

  14. Anon

    Does anyone know anything about Spokane, WA? My husband and I are considering moving somewhere in the mountain west and it caught my eye. We’re looking for lower cost right of living, more peace and quiet, and good access to the outdoors, especially skiing. We’d also like lower crime and traffic. My husband’s in tech and I’m in social policy research and we’d likely need new jobs, although there is a slim chance for remote work. Boise is our top choice but we can’t find jobs there so far. Thoughts?

    • Anonymous

      I used to have some colleagues there. They talked about crime and gangs with sincerity — I was really surprised. I am in a big city that has high crime for my area of the state, but don’t feel personally unsafe or in danger (like I know which areas to avoid, and those are hotspots at times of the day where I don’t go out anyway). So maybe in a smaller city it feels too close for comfort? FWIW, start getting the local paper and read the metro section and see what it sounds like in terms of how bad that stuff is.

      • Anon

        Definitely read the local paper. It’s all about perspective. We live in the DC suburbs in a nice area next to a really rough area…so shootings, drug deals, etc, are not uncommon within 2-3 miles of our house. We visited a small, rural town last weekend, and a local lady mentioned how bad the crime was. Their entire crime situation consists of petty thefts by opioid users. It’s sad, yes, but it’s not violent, random CRIME!! like she was freaking out about.

        • Anon

          Yes – the “crime” people speak of needs to be sorted into violent vs non violent when weighing something like this.

          • Anon

            I also think it’s worth noting targeted versus random as well. I live in a city with a pretty high violent crime rate but something like 90% of these shootings/stabbings are drug issues. Very rarely does a random person end up injured. It’s someone shot at 3 am at a known drug house. I feel perfectly safe going out to eat in my city because as long as I don’t buy or sell drugs, I’m very unlikely to be shot.

          • Anonymous

            This is my city.

            My sister is in Memphis and the crime there feels more present, like shopping centers having security in the parking lot in the daytime. I have lived in spotty areas before and never saw this before. And my sister lives in what is not a bad area, just a basic area that is still within the city. And she has bars on her front door, which is common in all the driving around I’ve done there.

      • Is it Friday yet?

        I have heard it referred to colloquially as “Spo-compton”, but then again everyone in Seattle is pretty dismissive of anything east of the Cascades. See also “Crack-ima” and “All dirt roads lead to Pullman.”

      • Washingtonian

        Born and raised Washingtonian–I’ve lived on the other side of the Cascades most of my life, but read statewide papers. And now I live on the east side of the state, but not near Spokane. Most of what I know is from community sources, but I also happen to be connected to criminal lawyers.
        The illusion of low crime is false, because there is less street crime/stranger crime. Ever watched the show “Justified”? Most of the sheriffs on the eastside of the Cascades have publicly stated they won’t enforce the newly passed gun control laws (Spokane may be the only exception who was waffling, last I heard). It isn’t just “petty drug theft”–it’s meth labs and international conduits, because the land is still so empty that the tax base can’t support sufficient patrols. The abortion clinics (or maybe it’s just singular?) don’t just get protested–it got bombed. And domestic violence stats are through the roof.
        Despite all of which…I choose to live nearby. And I will post below in the general thread about some more general thoughts. But don’t dismiss our concerns.

      • Anonymous

        My son lived there in 2016-2017. Did not like it at all. Crime and big oxy problem.

    • Anon

      Cap Hill Style lived there for law school (and maybe for a little bit afterwards?) I don’t think she wrote much about it on her site, but if you send her a message she might be willing to share her thoughts. I got the impression she didn’t really like it but I could be wrong about that.

    • M

      I live in Boise and know several people in Spokane. My coworker just relocated to Boise from Spokane and my sense is that while Spokane is fine, it isn’t great. There is definitely more crime there. Car thefts are not uncommon and there are bad areas in a way that just doesn’t exist in Boise. That being said, I know people who are very happy living there and the location is very convenient. But if you’re interested in relocating, why not visit and see for yourself what the city is like?

      • Anon

        I think we will try to visit, but I suspect my husband is going to have an issue with the crime/safety side of things. That’s one of his biggest motivations for wanting to leave where we currently live (and of course it’s an issue for me as well). We really liked Boise when we visited there (and I’ve spent a lot of time elsewhere in Idaho over the years) so we’re hoping to make that work first, but it doesn’t hurt to keep our options open.

    • Washingtonian

      Spokane is pretty significantly different from Boise. It hasn’t been gentrified to nearly the extent. I posted about with a very critical post about the crime/sociopolitical atmosphere, but I’d like to follow up with some of the reasons you might like Spokane–like it even better than Boise.
      ~Although it is definitely very, very, white (as is the whole PNW), there is some racial diversity because of the nearby Indian Reservations, and because of the Hispanic agricultural workers. Both groups tremendously enrich the cultural landscape.
      ~Seattle (or even Portland, OR or Vancouver, BC) is totally accessible for a weekend trip.
      ~I’m sure you’re already aware that the PNW is a beautiful place, and you wouldn’t be considering the Columbia Plateau if you didn’t like mountains. But there are also unique geological features associated with the Ice Age Missoula Floods, whole “forests” of petrified wood, and plenty of other awesome natural features you’ll be able to visit in eastern Washington, besides the green mountains we’re famous for.

      • Anon

        Thank you for this (and the critical perspective as well). I know the natural beauty would be amazing, but I definitely want to take the crime/safety side seriously as well. I also appreciate that you mentioned attacks on abortion clinics as a form of crime since that’s something that many people would overlook, but it says a lot about the tone of a place.

    • C

      Spokane is beautiful, and has great outdoor activities. But as others have mentioned, it is not a low crime city. They have a big gang and drug problem. But, if you know how to avoid the bad areas of town and/ or handle yourself in a higher crime city, you could still love it. I know 3 people who live there and absolutely love the town. You should also consider Salt Lake City. Big tech economy so you should have better luck with jobs, it’s a clean and safe city, and the outdoor recreation there is spectacular!

      • Coach Laura

        I’ve lived in the west side of the state only but have lots of friends in Spokane and have considered living there. The crime does seem high compared to Seattle suburbs but I haven’t done sufficient research to have an educated opinion. I do know that there is a big car theft operation there and my daughter’s car was stolen on a visit in 2015. And they totaled it in about 30 minutes and then were caught. I get $20 restitution checks every few months.

        If I were going to move someplace in the mountain west, I’d pick Boise or Salt Lake City. I think they are prettier places to live and good outdoor recreation.

    • Inspired by Hermione

      Grew up there! Check back later and I’ll post a bunch more once I’m at a computer and not on my phone.

      • Inspired By Hermione

        Alright, can type now:

        I don’t agree with the comments on here that it’s some dangerous city full of drugs and gangs (a slight over exaggeration, I know, but….seriously?). There are unsafe areas, just like everywhere else. West Central, Hillyard, the area near the courthouse, East Sprague- those are areas you don’t want to spend time in when it’s dark, and there is a growing homelessness problem (like everywhere else in the PNW). There is an opiates problem, but if you live outside the downtown area, you’re less likely to have an issue. We’ve had one break-in to our house since my parents moved in in the mid-90s. No car break ins.

        There are so many areas that are absolutely amazing for families. The Valley, Liberty Lake, Manito Park area- all wonderful areas for young families to grow up. Nothing is very walkable, which is unfortunate, but everything is within a 10-15 min drive. You’re right across the border from Idaho, with Lake CDA and dozens of other smaller lakes. “What are you doing this weekend?” “Going to the lake” is a really, really common conversation from May to Labor Day. You’re near Mt Spokane, and within a few hours of Schweitzer (in Sandpoint, WA). Spokane is right on the river, and there are places to float on the river in the summer.

        There is good food popping up all over Spokane, especially in the downtown area. There’s also wonderful local shopping. The cost of living is really low, much lower than west of the Cascades, and there are good schools with good academic programs.

        I loved living in Spokane growing up. I would absolutely move back there when I had kids, because it really was a wonderful place to grow up. My experiences now (family still lives there) don’t make me change my opinion of it, and it’s actually improved as there’s been an influx of young families from Western WA trying to escape the Seattle boom.

    • Full of ideas

      If you’re open to other places, check out Idaho Falls. There’s jobs (INEL) and remote college campuses (U of I and ISU and a jr college) and coat of living is surprisingly low. Also, tons of outdoorsy stuff near by (Yellowstone, Tetons, Snake River).

    • National_Anthem

      I live in Spokane and I love it! I know it doesn’t have a great reputation, and when I moved here for law school I did not expect to like it at all, but it really grew on me and I’m very happy that I stayed around. To me, it is big enough to have some interesting restaurants and cultural events but small enough that we don’t have to deal with traffic, expensive parking, etc.

      There is some crime, but it really does seem heavier on the property crime side than violent crime. I don’t feel unsafe here (and when I first moved here I lived in some of the lower income areas, which were still totally fine to me as a young woman living alone). It doesn’t feel like there’s more criminal activity than other similarly-sized places I’ve lived in. I’ve been here 9 years and in that time my car was broken into once, but that’s been the extent of it.

      We’ve got a pretty good skiing situation – we are within 2 hours of I think 5 ski areas, and there’s great hiking and outdoorsy things to do in the summer (my personal favorite being paddleboarding). There are also a lot of nice parks in Spokane, and the downtown has come a long way since I’ve been here. Downsides to me are that it’s not super diverse and oh man do we have terrible pot holes.

      If you have any questions or want more specifics, feel free to email me at nationalanthemspo at the g mail.

    • anne-on

      I bought a suede kit off amazon for this purpose (or your cobbler can do this). Brushing the suede to remove dirt and to bring up the nap helps a lot, and there’s another little tool for getting stains out which was a godsend for some dirt I had ground into the tip of a light pink suede flat.

  16. NS - Bay of Fundy Tips

    Thank you! I am flying into Halifax, so definitely want to explore that area as well. I am staying a bit out of the way in Port Greville, with the understanding that I will have to drive a bit to get to things. I quite like doing that because I tend to stop wherever I see something interesting along the way!

    I have rough plans to check out Raven Head Wilderness Area and the Fundy National Park, right now, but I am open to all suggestions!

  17. Anon

    Thank you! I am flying into Halifax, so definitely want to explore that area as well. I am staying a bit out of the way in Port Greville, with the understanding that I will have to drive a bit to get to things. I quite like doing that because I tend to stop wherever I see something interesting along the way!

    I have rough plans to check out Raven Head Wilderness Area and the Fundy National Park, right now, but I am open to all suggestions!

  18. dc anon

    I like to make green tea at night, stick it in the fridge, and bring iced green tea with me to work everyday (20-30oz). Is there a convenient bottle/container with a straw that I can toss into my purse without leaks?

    • Anon

      I don’t have any suggestions but I think someone posted something similar yesterday morning so check back there. This green tea routine sounds awesome but I don’t even know where to start! Is this made with a tea bag? I’m uninformed but interested.

      • dc anon

        Thanks! I’ll check out yesterday’s thread. I just use tea bags (tazo green tea with ginger sometimes I throw in a mint tea bag also), so need a brewer or strainer, just a non-plastic container. Right now, I make the tea in a glass pitcher, put it in the fridge to cool, then our it into a camelback in the morning and I would like to eliminate a couple of steps.

        • Cb

          I’ve been just doing cold brew tea and it works great! Bird & Co make a coldbrew tea bottle which might be worth a look.

  19. Housecounsel

    Does anyone have the featured dress? It’s gorgeous and the price is crazy low but I wonder if the neckline would also be crazy low on me. I could drive ten minutes the the nearest J. Crew but laaaaazy.

    • Cat

      The reviews online aren’t promising (several are disappointed in the fabric in person) and one specifically mentions it’s too low cut for work. At this point, when things are double-discounted so deeply, there’s usually a reason.

  20. anon for this

    Okay, the warm weather is bringing the return of my most hated summertime tradition: sweat. As I get older (late 30s) I find that I sweat A LOT. Especially, it seems, in my lower back and crotch area. I constantly feel disgusting and damp. I wear loose dresses with skimmies to try to keep it hidden, but would love it if I could figure out a way to just… sweat less. I’m not even talking about exercising, just walking down the street in 90+ degree weather. Seriously one day I wore capri pants last summer and after walking to lunch with colleagues I looked like I’d had an accident.

    I drink a ton of water because I do exercise 3-4x a week, and don’t really want to cut back. I’m slightly overweight (size 14) and pear shaped which doesn’t help. Any and all suggestions welcome.

    • Anonymous

      Drysol everywhere might work. Natural fibers for underwear and pants. I do wear biker short slips under pants a lot of days. Washing pants more frequently than in the winter. Not a lot of ideas but a lot of commiseration!

    • Anonymous

      Can you look into nylon-type wicking fabrics like what is in some of the Athleta travel pants? I wear to my business-casual office.

    • BabyAssociate

      Have you considered Botox? I know it’s effective for hyperhidrosis, not sure about that particular body area though.

    • Anon

      The only thing I can think of is those clean and clear oil absorbing sheets when you get into the office. I use those all the time in the summer.

    • anon

      I don’t have much advice, but I offer my commiseration. I’m a 10/12 with substantial thighs, and the sweat issue is real and annoying. I’ve had some luck putting deodorant on my inner thighs. I also really like linen shorts and skirts because they’re more breathable. You also may want to check out dresses or pants from either Prana, Carve or Patagonia. Those brands have more of an athleisure vibe (and they’re not cheap), but the fabrics are more breathable.

    • IHHtown

      Honestly, I think it just comes with the territory of walking outside on a 90+ degree day. The only thing you can really do to prevent the sweat is wear shorts and undershirts with sleeves under everything so the sweat doesn’t show, or do like we do here in Houston – never go outside for longer than a few minutes in the summer (we are masters at it – a three minute walk to your car in the shade can give you arm patches)

    • Anon

      Try wearing something absorbent rather than skimmies. I wear champion cotton bike shorts under my dresses and they absorb moisture.

      • pugsnbourbon

        I wear undies made for working out. They wick and dry pretty fast – I also hate the swampy feeling. For me, cotton got wet and stayed wet and was … not pleasant.

        • PolyD

          How does one find these? Do they sell them at department stores or are they only in sports stores?

          I’m a 4/6 with not really big thighs, but I have this problem, too. I blame age (51) and the tendency of pants these days to include a substantial amount of synthetic fibers.

          I live in DC and in the summer I mostly do skirts with Spanx/Assets. I buy the bigger size of my size range so they aren’t so tight.

          • pugsnbourbon

            Sorry, I should have clarified! Target usually carries athletic underwear in a couple different cuts. I had luck with finding a few pairs at TJMaxx/Marshall’s – they were by New Balance, but I haven’t been able to find them anywhere online.

    • DoesntBelongHere

      More commiseration; I actually went to my dermatologist about this (and I’m thin so it didn’t correlate with weight for me). Stuff that helps: Lush’s silky underwear powder dusted around lower back and crotch area, wearing liners (feels damp but less likely to show through clothes), wicking fabrics from Patagonia, and individual deodorant wipes you can swipe on when you get a chance. I’ve learned that if I wear pants, they need to be true black and drape away from my body, like boot- or straight-cut, unless they are athleticwear that tends to wick away sweat. The medical interventions are: prescription antiperspirant that is apparently incredibly irritating, Botox (not covered by insurance), and a medication you take orally that has some side effects.

      • PolyD

        Ha! But yeah, I try not to cross my legs when it’s hot and I’m wearing pants.

    • anon

      I live in the hot and humid south. I really like mega babe bust dust body powder. I got it at ulta last year. It’s not a miracle, but it definitely helps. I think people used to powder themselves before air conditioning was as big of a thing as it is now. I remember my grandparents kept a container of baby powder with a powder puff in it for body powdering purposes. It was mystifying for me as a child, but now I totally get it.

    • Anonymous

      Wear an antiperspirant anywhere you need it. I read somewhere (here?) that deodorant is a good substitute for body glide and similar products – but if your deodorant is also an antiperspirant, it helps with that too!

      They make an antiperspirant for your face but ime it doesn’t work very well.

  21. Save the puppies!

    The animal shelter I volunteer with in NH is saving a group of puppies from South Carolina. They are being transported up via volunteers driving one hour shifts this weekend. The puppies will be in two crates for transport. They still need to fill the shifts from Fredericksburg, VA – Alexandria, VA and Alexandria, VA – Baltimore, MD for Saturday. They also need to fill Woodbridge, NY to Suffern, NY for Sunday.

    The Bennington, VT to Keene, NH leg is also still open but someone has offered to take that one if no one else does so that one is less urgent.

    If anyone can help drive one of those unfilled shifts it would be amazing!
    https://www.signupgenius.com/go/20f0c4fa8af2da46-fttits

    • Anon

      I can’t help here but I’m interested in this kind of thing in the future! How does one get started with this?

      • Save the puppies!

        I usually hear of transports that need drivers via social media. If you click the link, there is an email address for the woman in charge of this transport. If you followed her on FB you could see when she is looking for people to sign up. There are a lot of different volunteer transport organizations out there. She could probably help connect you with ones that go near where you live. Typically, transports are bringing animals from the Southeast to the Northeast .
        I volunteer at my shelter by updating Petfinder every other weekend. There are other volunteers that do it other days. I take off the animals that were adopted and photograph and write descriptions for the new ones. That’s how I became FB friends with a lot of the other shelter volunteers and how I learn of other events or needs of my shelter. One of my co-volunteers who is a FB friend is fostering two of the puppies that are being transported and she put out the call for drivers in VA.

        Driving is a great way to volunteer because you don’t have to plan way ahead for something. You can look at the needs when a transport comes up and sign up if you are free. I haven’t driven one yet but my two current dogs and my late dog all came up via transports. I live where the puppies end up so I don’t have as much opportunity to volunteer as a driver since I’m at their last stop.

        • Anon

          This volunteer opp sounds awesome! I’m going to look into my local shelter! I’m in Richmond, VA right on I-95 so surely I can help with transport in the future

      • CountC

        Many of the rescues in my area do transport as well. I would reach out to any of the rescues you know are legit and offer to volunteer for transport!

      • Em

        Contact your local rescues. Almost all of them that operate regionally regularly need transport help! Fair warning, rescue quality and organization differ widely, so you may need to work with a few before you find one that is a good fit for you.

      • Anon

        Doobert is one site that is well known for animal rescue transport.

        Tips:
        Cover your backseat/cargo area with old blankets. The fur is epic.
        Save receipts for gas and tolls, in case you deduct (tax changes may affect this, IDK).
        Collapsible bowls are appreciated in case the animals need to stretch their legs and have a drink.
        Do not participate in cat and dog transfers back-to-back without laundering the blankets. I did this, and I had six very stressed-out Persians.

    • Save the puppies!

      I just posted that they were all filled but it looks like someone changed their mind. Alexandria to Baltimore is still needed.

  22. Anonymous

    Looking for recommendations for an insole for my low pumps and flats. I wear mostly flats with cushions, but have very wide toes and no arch to speak of. My plantar fasciitis –
    prone feet are so much happier with full-length arch support insoles in my sportier shoes; do any such versions exist for your everyday leather flats and pumps, even if not full length? The closest thing I’ve seen are the insoles in Betabrand better ballet flats, but even they don’t hold up very well on their own with no structural support from the shoes.

    • PolyD

      I just stick Dr. Scholls inserts in all my shoes, the full length ones with the plastic arch. I do go about a half size up in any shoe except sandals, though, to accommodate the inset.

    • Anon

      I would get a custom dress orthotic and switch it out between shoes. That is what I do.

      • Anonymous

        Agree on a custom orthotic. My podiatrist made me a slim pair and it was covered by insurance.

  23. Cat

    Anyone else kind of underwhelmed by the new Taylor Swift song/video? What is the symbolism of swanning around in a pool of My Little Pony vomit?

    • Anon

      Very underwhelmed, but also I’ve been underwhelmed by a lot of her recent stuff (starting with Shake It Off) but then it grew on me, so I figure this probably will too.

      • Anon

        Well, Old-Ish Taylor. 1989 era. To me Old Taylor means when she was a country singer.

        • Anon

          True. I was thinking when she killed off the “Old Taylor” in that line on “Look What You Made Me Do”

      • MomAnon4This

        Yeah, I think she’s trying to get the parents of younger girls (yes, the 10-15 year olds still) back on her side. I’m sure a lot didn’t pay for their kids to go to her last concert tour and she’s trying to appeal to them again.

    • Leaving

      Entirely agree. It is cheesy, childish and terrible. She can do better and I enjoyed many songs on her last album. I’m such a disappointed fan.

    • Anon

      Her videos have become masturbatory CGI showpieces. The music is an afterthought.

      I did appreciate all the shout-outs, especially the Dixie Chicks portrait.

    • Anon

      I’m loving all the theories about how gay it is, but I’ve been a long time Kaylor truther.

      • Anon

        I don’t really read too much into the recent video, but I am a Kaylor truther too. Whatever else you want to say about her, Taylor Swift is undeniably precise with respect to her word choices in her songwriting and all the “best friend” references in Dress made it pretty clear to me the song was about Karli as soon as I heard it.

  24. anon

    Kind of a dumb question, but what are your favorite athleisure pieces for warm weather? This sounds so dumb, but I’m trying to strike a balance between being in grubby clothes, and yet being comfortable enough to run around with my kids at the park. I hate pants/leggings once the weather is above 70-75. I used to do a lot of cotton tanks with shorts, but I’m just not loving that look anymore. I swear I’ve become stupidly sensitive, from a sensory standpoint, as I’ve gotten older. I don’t feel the need to “hide” my body, per se, but I really don’t enjoy anything that’s constricting, particularly when I’m sweating.

    • Tippins

      How do you feel about dresses and skirts? Title 9, Patagonia, Colombia, and Athleta have great options. Athliesure dresses are my summer weekend uniform!

      • anon

        I like them in theory, but I have a few that I don’t wear very often. Maybe that’s something to switch up, though. Would probably be more cost effective than buying new tanks and shorts.

    • anon

      If you have budget, check out the “modest dress code” filter on a net a porter. There are a ton of loose and flowy options for summer that are fitted and slightly more polished.

    • Anonymous

      I work with young children in a hot climate, and all I wear are skirts and dresses. I prefer long length, but anything that hits just below the knee is fine to keep from accidentally flashing people. I wear a lot of eshakti, today I am in Shabby Apple. They’re not dirt cheap, but good value. Uniqlo always has options at a low price.

    • Rainbow Hair

      In the summer I love sundresses (I don’t care about visible bra straps in them, so I wear a lot of Old Navy cami-style dresses) with skimmie type shorts underneath. One piece, ridiculously easy to throw on, non-constricting, boom.

    • Anon

      This’ll sound crazy, and I’ve recommended them on here before, but men’s swim trunks from Columbia. Cut the liner out if you want (it doesn’t bother me), but they’re comfortable, lightweight, quick-dry, elastic waist, and they’re a great length for being active. They have pockets and a zipper pocket in the back. And they come in a million colors. And nothing about them says, “I’m men’s swim trunks!” when you wear them with a top – they just look like any pair of outdoor shorts.

      I’m also a pear with thick thighs and these are some of the only shorts that don’t constrict. Last summer I was a 10-12 and wore a men’s medium; this year I’m a 14-16 and the men’s large fits great. I’m 5’7 and find I need to roll the waist once on the larges. Throw on a t-shirt and ballcap and I’m good to go.

      https://www.columbia.com/mens-pfg-backcast-iii-water-short-FM4009.html

    • ATL rette

      Running shorts or hiking shorts with a T-shirt or workout tank. I also like Patagonia’s Baggies shorts!

  25. dc anon

    Not dumb at all! This is the clothing area where I struggle the most. It’s hot and super humid, so pants, esp jeans are out! I don’t love how I look in shorts and skirts are hard for running around the park and sitting on the floor during picnics – pretty much all we do all summer long. I have a couple of maxi dresses and a jumpsuit that have been comfy but that’s it.

  26. Bathtub recs?

    I’m doing a limited remodel of the only bathroom in the house with a bathtub. I don’t regularly take baths, but I do enjoy them especially in the winter and the current bathtub is very uncomfortable. I’d like to replace it, but I don’t have the space for a larger or freestanding tub.

    Does anyone have an alcove bathtub that they like? No kids so not worried about low sides.

    • Anonymous

      I reglazed an old cast iron tub and really liked it. It was like having a new tub.

    • Anonymous

      We did the same a few months back. Our new Kohler tub is amazing.
      My humble .02: get a catalogue from your local showroom place so you can see all your options. The Kohler catalogue is more comprehensive than any Web site including finishes and matching pieces. It also gave us some great ideas. Our contractor told us ordering directly from Kohler rather than a big box retailer means higher quality.
      We also installed an on-demand hot water heater for our new bath which is awesome every morning for showers and every time you want to add more hot water. Good luck!

    • Anon

      Go to Home Depot and sit in a bunch of them. It feels weird and awkward but that’s the only way to figure out of you like the length, height, and angle of the back.

      • Duchess

        Mostly agree with this, but my husband sells high-end kitchen and bath finishes primarily to contractors and developers. I would not recommend going to Home Depot. Find a local showroom (Ferguson is a big one, he works for a competitor of theirs in the mid-Atlantic.) One, they’ll have a much larger selection. Two, they really know the available options. Three, you can negotiate and pay less than MSRP (sometimes as much as 40% off retail.)

    • E

      I just redid two bathroom. Both “suites” with everything in one color, one all avocado green and one salmon pink. We glazed the green tub with white paint from Home Depot and it was amazing for 5yrs. Just deglazed and amazing again. We took out the pink tub and tucked in a free standing, modern tub in its place that is fantastic. Like this: https://www.homedepot.com/p/Schon-Colton-63-inches-Center-Drain-Freestanding-Bathtub-in-Glossy-White-SC70010/204508886. I don’t baths often either but when you do oo la la.

  27. Apocalypse Pleats

    I think that Miranda Priestly was right about cerulean. I am not a fashionista (I wear Levis and LL Bean and Banana) but I subscribe to W b/c Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl read it And they have been showing ads with pleated jeans. So it’s probably going to happen in the mall stores sooner or later.

    Weep with me.

  28. GOT newbie

    I have semi-watched two episodes now and done a lot of interwebs reading (realizing, the show is dense, and I need to rewatch intently b/c I am missing important things and nuances).

    I get the sense that maybe these people that I’ve known for two weeks and loved are going to die soon. It is the feeling I had when I had a summer camp boyfriend and the final camp dance is coming up and I will never see him again (even though we’ve never kissed, just slow danced, he is 1000% my true love).

    [This is from the show I dismissed for years as just t*ts, dragons, bad Renaissance Fair meets The Hobbit meets Mad Max meets Sons of Anarchy.]

    • MomAnon4This

      Yeah, my husband and I were talking about the show like the characters are our actual friends and things happen with them For Real.
      Also I was telling our son medieval European history and I think I accidentally told him some Game of Thrones stuff – like I called vassal lords “bannermen” and stuff like that. I did stop as soon as I realized it but yeah, in the books and the show, the world-building is so convincing and astounding. And I agree with you I am generally NOT a dragons-and-magic kind of girl.

  29. Airport clothing

    Since we’re talking about clothing for specific scenarios, I’ll throw one out there too. What do you guys wear for airplane travel? Does it change based on how long the flight is? Does it change based on whether or not you are doing something when you arrive at your destination? I very rarely take flights over 4 hours so I usually wear jeans, solid color tee, and some sort of jacket or pullover that can be easily removed. Boots, sandals, or sneakers depending on what I think I’ll need at my destination. I think I’d like to explore the whole “leggings as pants” thing, but I can’t figure out how to make them look like I’m not about to go to the gym or to bed. I’m also usually freezing so I need pants or capris and a jacket or sweatshirt. I see other women who rock leggings and a cute sweatshirt so I guess I just need to find the right pieces? What do you all do?

    • Anon

      I usually dress like you for flights within the continental US. For longer haul flights (Hawaii, Europe etc) I sometimes wear jeans but I do sometimes wear leggings. When I wear leggings, I usually do a t-shirt and a long cardigan that covers my butt as well as a big scarf for warmth.

    • Biggestballsintheroom

      I fly in jeans or my faux leather leggings from spanx. They make me feel more put together than regular leggings for whatever reason, and pair well with a tunic style top or a long tank and denim jacket.

    • Leaving

      Literally that – leggings and a cute sweatshirt/ crewneck, both usually in black. I bring my black Everlane tote and wear Nikes, so yeah, I go full athleisure.

    • DCR

      I’m very much in the category of comfort over appearance for traveling. Having said that, I normally wear jeans or outdoor-style pants (not leggings, more like hiking pants or joggers) for short, day flights (anything under 4 hours or under 6 during the day). For longer flights, especially those 14 or 15 hour international flights, I wear leggings, a t-shirt, and have either a cardigan, sweatshirt, or jacket available to put on if cold. I don’t think I look cute, I just don’t care.

      I think there are some people who can make leggings as pants work, but I’m not one of them. I don’t know if it is because I’m an hourglass with a large a$$ or that I’m boardline plus size. But it just doesn’t work for me and I don’t wear outside the house unless I’m doing something athletic

    • Anon

      I wear the same outfit every time. Flowy top with stretch, long cardigan, pashmina, Eileen fisher crepe pants, compression knee high stockings, and low wedge shoes.

    • Anon

      I run very hot, and generally hate pants, so I always wear a comfy jersey knit dress and bring a sweater in my bag just in case. Sometimes I’ll also bring a scarf in case it happens to be really cold on the plane and I can use it as an extra cover. I feel like it’s a good combination of being comfy and cute.

    • Anon

      I saw a woman getting off the plane recently in a poncho that looked like the comfiest blanket ever and she rocked it and made it look chic. I’m looking for something similar now. She had the Instagram blogger look though so I’m not sure that I can pull it off and not look frumpy

    • Worry about yourself

      Honestly, I usually wear yoga pants when I travel. I might wear jeans or a comfortable A-line shirt if it’s a short flight and I’m going to be meeting someone at or straight from the airport, but most of the time, I feel zero guilt rocking (well fitting, good condition) yoga pants, flattering cotton t-shirt, and a hoodie.

      I’m open to leggings though, and I certainly wouldn’t judge, but I feel they work best when paired with a longish, flowy top.

    • Anonymous

      Old sweater layered over real pants with elastic waistbands, ballet slippers or wedges.

  30. Wedding Guest Dress Help

    Can I wear a floral dress with a white background to a June wedding? For some reason, every dress I’ve found and liked is a white background floral.

    Or can someone find me a dress? 2pm Catholic wedding with 5pm reception. I’m late 20s, size 6, more of an apple shape.

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