Coffee Break: Baker Patent-Leather Tote
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Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine's Day!):
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
- J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
Need shopping help! Hoping I’m getting here early enough – my oldest daughter is getting married & I’m looking for ideas for my dress. I need a long one (evening formal wedding, not at a church) and it will be taking place in late September in the South, so sill warm. Don’t like the beige and lavender that every MOB seems to be when I search for them. Colors are jewel tones & the MOG is wearing a darker turquoise dress. Daughter says I should wear something I love & not worry about upstaging. Would like to keep it under $500 if possible. Thanks for any help!
A couple weeks ago somebody was sharing Alfred Sung dresses at Nordstrom for wedding attire (possibly as bride or bridesmaid, I forget). They look amazing, have varied jewel tone options and are well inside your price range.
https://shop.nordstrom.com/c/alfred-sung-bridesmaids?origin=productBrandLink
I have the “V-Neck Dupioni Evening Gown,” it’s nice.
Nordstroms has a Mother-of-the-bride section under the Wedding Suite. There are a lot of cute non-frumpy ideas in long variations in jewel tones.
+1
Check Anthropologie, too. There are a lot of formal, elegant gowns online.
And Anthro’s bridal line, BHLDN.
+1
Saks and Neiman Marcus (online) are my go-tos. I found their selections online far superior to what they carry in store. I was able to order several dresses to my house, try on comfortably and then make returns as necessary. Both sites often have sales or promotions and I found a beautiful gown originally priced over $1,000 for $300 for my son’s wedding.
One shouldered feels very modern to me.
https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-elisir-long-ruffle-1-shld-prod222570176?childItemId=NMTZ3ZC_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat58290731_cat43810733_cat35350732&page=0&position=67&uuid=PDP_PAGINATION_dbf3638fbf95fa8eb74019e033c95005_SvNelSfGCSDIzUCfSEa-MmCk
https://www.bhldn.com/mother-of-the-bride-view-all/palomar-dress/productOptionIDS/801495ba-e332-4a9c-a4ad-4f7f6b1571a0
Really? I feel like one shouldered dresses were A Thing a few years ago and they feel kind of dated to me. Or have they been out of style long enough to be “back”?
I think they’re only modern for Real Housewives, sorry.
I like navy or a deep purple typically, but it does depend on your coloring a bit. What about this one:
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vince-camuto-off-the-shoulder-gown-regular-petite/5284026?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FThe%20Wedding%20Suite%2FMother-of-the-Bride%20Dresses&color=navy
I really like the shape of this, but not sure how you’d feel about red.
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/la-femme-popover-chiffon-gown/4823616?origin=coordinating-4823616-0-1-PDP_1-recbot-also_viewed&recs_placement=PDP_1&recs_strategy=also_viewed&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=product&recs_seed=4783167
Or this one: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/la-femme-v-neck-cap-sleeve-jersey-column-gown-prod217090191?childItemId=NMTY1XU_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat58290731_cat43810733&page=0&position=6&uuid=PDP_PAGINATION_6fc4fa0182a22b7e2f00cdff8005abfd_m8fIg73f3GFYoBtZVCMoWRYC
You might get better suggestions if you could tell us what is typically flattering on you or not flattering.
I think Tadashi Shoji makes the most beautiful evening wear, hands down. I would look for a store that carries the line, which is going to be a higher end department store, but I’m guessing you’re going to have to order online and return what doesn’t work.
It sounds like your budget is plentiful but just in case, I am of the opinion that evening wear is the best thing to buy used, because it is typically worn only once. I used to go to a black tie holiday party every year, sometimes two, and I bought all my Tadashi on eBay.
I mean, look at this one. Gorgeous.
https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F163607633454
I agree. I wore an emerald green Tadashi Shoji gown at my wedding and felt like a queen.
And I’ve worn it four times since because I love it so much!
I think you should consider Rent the Runway for this!
Nah, guests will be wearing from Rent the Runway.
Posted too late on the AM thread.
I need curtains. I have a very wide (almost 7 feet) window, but it’s only about 70 inches, give or take, high. Wide curtains don’t seem to exist in a 72 inch length. The window is set in a way that full length curtains absolutely will not work (nor will any 84 inch, etc)
I read all of the stuff about getting twice the feet of curtains that you need for the width to make it look right, but to do that I need like 13-14 feet of curtains. Is it best to just buy 3 or 4 52 inch curtains? I think that’s probably the best solution unless anyone knows of any wide, short curtains.
Also, I don’t know what color to get. I’m in an apartment that is all white. Just, massive amounts of sterile white. Which is fine, it’s airy, but I don’t want white or off-white curtains. However, I’m not sure what color to get. I have a light grey couch (looks like grey linen, Ikea’s Karlstad from a few years ago). I have a dark red, vaguely Turkish area rug, and a yellow Ikea Strandmon chair (sun yellow). It doesn’t sound like it goes together but it works with accessories (largely in plum and multicolored pillows). But I don’t know what curtains would match. I absolutely cannot afford Pottery Barn/Anthropologie, as much as I love the look of their curtains. What would you do?
TIA!
I needed curtains for a rental property with crazy big windows. I found plenty of size options in my budget at overstock dot com.
I think you can several, smaller sized curtains. Highly recommend JC Penney’s – they often have coupons
Ikea sells a good variety of bed linen patterns. I would just use two flat sheets, probably full size (which is going to be like 80″ by 100″) with the shorter side as the up-down side.
Also could use a duvet.
No suggestions on color, but if your window is 70” high you can always hem something longer to be shorter. You can’t stretch a 52” curtain the be longer, though.
Do you need the entire window covered at all times? I have an 8’ wide by 66” tall window that has two standard lightweight panels on each end, hemmed to be 70” long. They are open almost all of the time and have the right amount of width for that. If I want them closed they are nearly flat without any extra fabric, but I rarely close them so it works fine.
Agree with all of this. If you are going to close them often (especially during the day) you’ll want more width, but even then 1.5x might be enough vs a full 2x. You can also use curtains that are longer than the window is tall, even without hemming. Just mount the rod higher and let them fully cover the sill instead of falling right on top of it.
If you can’t find wide AND short, why not just get several short, one long curtain rod, and space them evenly over the window?
I have several long windows in my house, and really like having multiple curtains on them. It means that I can easily have sections of the curtains open, when leaving others closed. And it would solve your length problem.
+1 – it is really common to get multiple panels to fill a space. Heck – I got 4 panels for my fairly standard width windows because I liked the fuller look with 4 panels vs just 2.
IKEA may work for this, they have a decent selection with larger sizes.
Shower Curtains are 72″ x 72″. Maybe you can find a couple of these that could work. Good luck!
Also, what in god’s name is the outfit behind this? It looks like a mechanic and Jane from Tarzan had a baby.
Feminist Icon Inspired Fashion– Chic Rosie the Riveter Jumpsuit!
In the next edition, learn how to pair a flowy LBD with a delicate silk scarf for a classic Ruth Bader Ginsburg vibe.
I actually bought a gray sleeveless version of this from Duluth Trading and I LOVE it. It doesn’t have the huge belt, but it has many, many pockets and it’s amazingly comfortable.
I don’t have one, but I love it too.
Yeah, I love the utility suit trend, even though I don’t think it looks great on my particular body shape. If I were as lithe and winsome as the model, it would be my new uniform.
Does anyone wear a blazer or maybe “good” cardigan with a wrap dress? I’m thinking maybe a short-er type blazer (not the current crop of very long ones) or some sort of shorter/structured cardi?
I’m always cold.
And the wrap seems to magnify my flatchestedness (which a blazer would obscure).
Mad that I spent $$$ on a classic dress that is lovely (but not even a B+ on me).
What kind of wrap dress? I have definitely paired a denim jacket with a casual wrap dress, though I currently prefer cardis or some other soft top layer. If it’s a more formal wrap dress, I don’t think there is anything at all wrong with adding a blazer in a complementary color.
The DVF ones. I know — should have tested the waters with something less spendy.
Rebecca Taylor short tweed jacket?
I do find that shorter blazers work best with my wrap/faux wrap dresses – I also run cold.
I wear a hip length suit jacket/blazer with my wrap dresses. I think it depends on the dress and the jacket – the wrap dresses I wear to work are bold patterns with black/colour so a black jacket, black tights/heels works well. I can’t imagine a similar thing working if they were a more casual pattern.
I am getting ready to put my house on the market and am looking for decent looking but not expensive slip-covers to throw over my furniture (two couches and two chairs). Any recommendations?
Ikea
Food for thought: If you are selling in a market where your home will only be on the market a brief time, you could rent furniture instead. It could come out cheaper and look nicer.
(For reference, when we recently sold a home, we would have needed the furniture for photos and then for the weekend open house that quickly followed. We had plenty of at/above asking offers to chose from after the weekend.)
Unless, of course, you want to keep the slipcovers after the move. I bought ‘show towels’ for the bathrooms and fresh throw pillows for showing, and I’m still enjoying them.
Leadville is about two hours from Estes Park. Old abandoned mill town, really one of the most fun things I’ve ever done. Great food, fun old hotel in the middle of town. And the scenic drives are unbelievably beautiful. Just one word of warning: the altitude is CRAZY. Like I got winded walking up a flight of stairs.
Another tip. If you don’t normally consume MJ products, don’t decide to try it just cause you are there and they are legal. I wasn’t used the them or the altitude and the combination made me miserable. I also learned edibles are not a good choice for your first time.
Apologies in advance for the millionth tipping post this week. I’m getting a desk delivered on Saturday and wondering how much to tip. I searched online but seeing a lot of varied answers. I’m assuming there will be two delivery people…$20 each seems safe?
$20 total unless you’re in a walk up max.
It has never occurred to me to tip delivery people. I’m not sure that is a thing. But even if it is, $20 seems very generous.
and, by delivery people, I mean furniture delivery people, not food delivery (who I do tip). Furniture delivery people just seem more like a FedEx/UPS type person, and I’ve never tipped them either.
From talking to friends, I think it is a thing, but I’ve never tipped them either.
I tip $10 per person for large furniture deliveries that have to be taken upstairs in my house, because the stairs are narrow, old, and winding. Dudes deserve a drink or two on me for that effort.
I definitely tip delivery people – I have a narrow driveway, 8 steps to the front door, and if the furniture is going upstairs (and lately it all is) then another flight of stairs with a turn. They’re usually sweating by the time they’re done so that’s a bottle of water and $20 per person from me. They don’t seem surprised to receive it.
That said, I posted yesterday about how I hate tip culture, so I have no idea whether I’m doing it right.
Wow, my jaw is dropping. I have never tipped furniture delivery people. For the record, no one has acted like they expected a tip. I can’t believe i have been in the dark on this for so long. My many apologies to all the delivery people who have helped me out and gone without expected comp!
I’ve been chatting with a friend about this, and I know it’s been discussed here before: men lying about their ages on dating apps.
I’m annoyed. Last night I went out with a guy who said he was 39 online, but told me on the date that he’s actually 43. I am fine with 43, and I think my upper limit listed is 47, but I don’t like the misrepresentation. He said “the algorithm shows more options this way.” And I thought, well yeah– you’re being shown all the younger women who intended to screen you out. I’m 37, and I’m sure I have fewer options online as a result, but I would never lie about my age to try to bait-and-switch younger guys.
Am I missing something here? Do any of you lie about age online?
I don’t lie and I don’t date men who do.
Yes, I guy who does this does other things. I went out with a guy who said he had a vasectemy but I found out later he was lying. I am very lucky he did not get me pregnant, and he did NOT get a second bite at the apple, but it just goes to show that you cannot trust a man when it comes to dating or $ex. FOOEY!
Don’t lie and I wouldn’t date someone who does. I can’t imagine starting a relationship with someone knowing that they would lie.
I don’t think you’re missing anything. I wouldn’t want to go out with someone who deliberately lied about his age, even if it was just at the screening stage.
Check out the current article in the NYT about “rape by deception.” I would dump a guy for lying about his age for sure.
I do not lie about my age, although I have been known to round up with friends as my birthday gets closer. I would not be a fan of this because he is doing to obviously get around other people’s preferences. He may think that age is a stupid way to screen people, but he doesn’t get to decide how other people screen for dates. Unless every single other thing about him is amazing, there would be no second date for me and even then I still don’t think I would go. Maybe I am uptight, but oh well!
That’s how I felt about it: he’s trying to override women’s decisions about who they’re interested in, and thereby wasting their time. He also told me that nobody has ever had a problem with it, and I’m not sure that’s true–they probably just weren’t as direct as I am. Also, if truly no one has ever cared on a date when he shared his real age, then those would all be women who…still would have seen his profile with the correct age listed.
Pretty sure I’m not interested in going out again.
He’s interested in “catching” someone substantially younger than you.
And its not like he’s going to tell you if anyone had a problem with him lying about his age. He doesn’t think its a problem, so he’s going to write off anyone that does.
I also don’t lie about my age and would be annoyed with someone who decided to make lying their first impression. It sounds like someone who would be fine pushing my boundaries if they thought they knew better.
Yes, he just wants to trick women who don’t want to screen out men in their 40s. I would absolutely not go out with him again, and would tell him exactly why.
+1
Yeah it’s so condescending. Like he knows better than she does what she wants in a partner. Also the use of “algorithm” like this is just a math problem, or like there was something wrong with the software, not that he’s lying to get around people’s stated preferences.
Exactly! I actually said this. He mentioned “the algorithm” and I said “you mean because of the age range that people are looking for?” It’s not some obscure technology, and it’s not an error.
I just un-matched with him and feel great about it.
I wish we could “like” comments on this board! Go you!
Woo hoo!
“I would not be a fan of this because he is doing to obviously get around other people’s preferences.”
I agree. He’s trying to date women in their early 30s who don’t want to date someone his age. (Snark time: maybe he should have tried to settle down in his 30s, if he wanted to date/marry a woman in her early 30s.)
Actually, he did–he’s divorced with 2 kids, none of which was mentioned either on his page.
Girl, you need to snap him up pronto. These Princes Charming don’t come around very often.
(Paging Shots Shots Shots.)
So he lied about his age AND was deliberately deceptive about his divorce and his kids… Nice.
I’m sorry, but that sh!t doesn’t fly when you’re dating, or in this case, trying to date. He’s putting it out there that he’s younger, probably never been married and no kids, and then goes on a date and springs it on some poor, unsuspecting girl that “oh, BTW, I’m over 40, and if we hit it off, you’re gonna have to deal with the ex-wife and my two kiddos, sorry I didn’t mention that in my profile.”
Nice, courteous way to waste somebody’s time. I wouldn’t give this one a second chance. There’s a reason he’s single. Don’t waste your time trying to find out what it is.
This is timely for me, my date last night asked if I was really 35. I assumed he meant that I looked younger but now I’m wondering! He said he’d found a lot of people who lied about their age – apparently he ended up going out with a girl who said she was 25 but was actually 18 (ouch). He’s 30 and was very much not interested in seeing an 18 year old.
I don’t understand lying about your age. If a guy doesn’t want to date women 35 and over then we don’t need to be friends. This is like when people tell me to not say I’m a lawyer on my profile. If a man doesn’t want to date a woman lawyer then he can go ahead and filter himself out thankyouverymuch.
Your second paragraph, times a million.
When I was online dating I was 28/29 and I honestly considering lying about my age… to make myself older. I wanted to screen out guys who only wanted to date women in their 20s. It was important to me that men were not just looking for younger women. One of the things I liked about my now husband was that his range was like 27-47 (he was 37). You are right to be annoyed with that guy, yuck.
PS I have a friend who lies about his age (44) for some dumb reasons that I don’t believe, I always tell him to stop it.
I think this practice is relatively common and I hate it. It’s grounds for no second date in my book, though it wouldn’t override things if he was new to online dating, took some bad advice from someone about online dating, and was otherwise amazing–a long shot.
Trust is literally the most important ingredient for a healthy and satisfying relationship. Follow your gut and pass.
I ran to the grocery over lunch. Walked by a kindly looking elderly man and said hello. Ran into him again and he says something, but could not understand and asked him to repeat.
“Your husband shouldn’t let you out of the house dressed like that.”
Professional dress.
I nodded in a “ah ok” way and walked off. I at least remembered not to say thanks.
Any responses I can remember to use? I have a professional event coming up with sexist comments expected too. I expect there’s a difference in how to respond social v professional but generally I freeze up and just stew.
“I’m a grown adult, thanks.” (The last word is said sarcastically.)
“That’s your problem.” (This applies to so, so much.)
“We are not going to have this conversation.” (Say this *very* firmly.)
I…I can’t say that my preferred response to that old guy wouldn’t include several f bombs and ageist remarks.
What can I say? I’m a lady.
“That’s a weird thing to say”
I have a really great disgust face that I employ often with men. Add a real earthy, guttural “ugh” and it gets the point across.
“Excuse me?” (While telegraphing murder ice queen from your eyes. Then walk away and don’t look back.)
Why are you speaking to strangers?
Because she’s a member of society who likes to interact with others. Some of us like to talk to each other from time to time. It’s okay and it doesn’t mean that we should be subjected to rude, sexist remarks.
This is not offered as an excuse of his comment in any way, but I’m wondering if he perhaps meant it as a compliment “You look so nice, your husband shouldn’t let you out of the house like that because everyone’s going to want you for themselves!” Which of course, is problematic and insulting in a different way but if I felt it was coming from a different place, it may not bother me as much. Doesn’t answer your original question (my suggestion would be a cold a slightly pitying stare with a long enough pause to be awkward then just restarting the conversation in a different direction in a very obvious way) but thought I’d offer the thought.
“Mind your one business you old fool” is my preference
Honestly, “fuck you, old man” works for me.
“I’m sorry, my husband doesn’t dress me.”
If you want to be really snarky (and suggestively unladylike) then “I’m sorry, my husband doesn’t dress me, he undresses me.”
And when in doubt just silently stare the a$$hat down until they are forced to look away. That one always works.
He didn’t – my lover did
PSA follow the Cal Falcons page on fb for webcam updates on the peregrine falcon nest in the Campanile tower on the UC Berkeley campus. Two hatched and one to go! Adorable little fluff balls.
Yawn.
Try some coffee!
Eeek! UT Austin has one, too, for “Tower Girl”… now I’m off to check both!
Thanks! My son is obsessed with peregrine falcons – this will make his day!
I wasn’t but I am now!
OMG your son can come to my office. We have a ledge that is nothing but a carving board for them. Some days it is just feathers and dismembered smaller bird heads looking at you with their dead blank eyes. It is like the bird version of Game of Thrones. But every day.
Another dating question. I had to cancel a first date last week because of a work emergency. I ended up working til after midnight. I apologized profusely and we rescheduled for tonight. The guy told me earlier today he had to cancel because he wants to do yard work before the rain starts tonight/tomorrow morning. I feel a little hypocritical being annoyed because, yes, I canceled last week. But seriously the lawn can’t wait til Saturday? This does not strike me as the same kind of urgency as a work thing. So tell me, ladies, am I being too critical or should I nope out of this?
Eh this would annoy me if it were part of a pattern, but as a one time thing I’d probably let it go. Is it possible he started a bunch of yardwork and had to finish it before rain comes and messes up what he’s done so far? I wouldn’t interpret this as him choosing to start a yardwork project instead of going on the date, unless he specifically said that.
I would nope out because I wouldn’t want to be with someone who takes lawn care so seriously that they skip dates for it.
I’d nope out. It does suck for him that you had to bail because of a work emergency and I am empathetic to that, but work emergencies are different (to me) than lawn care. If I really liked someone or wanted to see them, lawn care would 100% wait and I would go out with that person. Maybe he is playing a game, maybe he is just not that into you, who knows, but I would nope out.
Ehh, I’d be really skeptical. I’d put the ball in his court and see what happens. If he makes a genuine, earnest effort to reschedule, I’d give him one more chance. But I wouldn’t bother making the effort to reschedule myself, nor would I entertain endless banter without a request to meet up. That lawn care sounds pretty discretionary to me. I’m having a hart time imagining when lawn care wouldn’t be discretionary…. hurricane clean up? About to host a lawn wedding? Entering into a parade of homes, maybe.
Agree with this. Send him something nice and non-committal. If he follows up, schedule a short date, otherwise, move on.
You cancelled once. He cancelled once. Stop being so snitty.
+1
I’ve had a few dates with a guy and we have rescheduled all but one, just due to circumstances. Our first date went off as planned. The second, he let me know early in the day that he was tied up and we rescheduled for the next day. We were supposed to get together tonight, mainly because I chose the day due to my crazy schedule. He was not feeling well and texted me yesterday that he would let me know by noon today. I assured him that I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off and, as it turns out, we could reschedule for tomorrow. I think he was relieved because he was trying to make it and still not feeling great. We are both busy people with lives. If I like him and he likes me and we want to see each other, we have to be flexible.
So this is a thing where I live right now (Northeast). People are literally calling out of work to tend to their lawns. The weather just got nice, the lawns just turned green and grew a ton in the last week. But there is an entire week of rain on the horizon. If you don’t mow/cleanup now, it is going to be a crazy mess when the rain stops.
Signed,
Husband left work 2 hours early to seed our lawn and pick up sticks and he’s not even a lawn guy
I think first dates are legitimately low-priority, and aren’t indicative of how someone would be in a relationship. It’s a first date, you have no idea if you’re going to like the person or if it’s going to be a waste of time. I wouldn’t tie it to you having cancelled for work and him having cancelled for lawn work necessarily — more just shrug it off because, meh, first date, no one’s going too much out of their way for it. See if y’all can reschedule for a time that works for you both, and if you can’t, no biggie. But of course, if you’re turned off by the lawn care situation and don’t feel like seeing him after all, that’s totally fine too, just don’t do it.
Did anyone wear denim to protest S.A. yesterday? I mean, everyone here wears jeans every day, but I could imagine it might draw attention in a business formal office.
No? What are we protesting? Senior Attorney?
Haha, I had the same thought. (And no to protesting Senior Attorney!)
I just figured it out, but I think this was not well-publicized.
OP here–not afraid to say sexual assault, just trying to avoid mod.
At first I thought denim was a pretty silly “protest” outfit, but then I looked it up online. I do actually remember that horrifying Italian court decision, and I was only a teenager.
https://www.denimdayinfo.org/why-denim
Haha you had me worried for a minute!
Denim day was absolutely not a thing here, although I kind of wish it were.
That was my thought too! I had to google it.
No what are you talking about
April is S*exual Assault Awareness month so our local RCC does several awareness events. The Jeans for Justice campaign is one and they partner with local businesses for employees to wear denim to work. They also do a walk a mile in her shoes event where men wear high heels and walk around a park. Generally it’s local celebrities, law enforcement, community leaders, etc who are happy to participate and everyone likes the publicity.
Talk to me about this please. Our situation has two issues. First, I voluntary switched jobs (biglaw –> small law making 75% of biglaw) about 6 months ago, after nearly a decade in big law. I took a month off in between because my new firm encouraged it and the break was something I wanted and could easily afford it. I had the offer before I left my old job. Second, and perhaps more concerningly, my husband was laid off in the fall with four months of severance, and is just starting a new job now. Same field (finance). We decided it made more sense for him to find something that is a better fit for the long term than just taking any old job – the interview processes were long because he was interviewing for senior positions. Aside from these switches/his gap, we were continuously employed at the same employer for many years prior to this.
For situations like this, have others written explanatory letters explaining the switch in jobs/periods of unemployment? What sort of thing did you stay? Were you successful? And if you recently switched jobs, did you wait a certain amount of time before applying for an underwritten pre-approval – any rule of thumb on that or does it depend on other factors? If you are denied at one point, could you apply again a month or two later with the same lender? I wasn’t initially very concerned, particularly about my switch, but the loan officer I spoke with really made me feel like I was going to have to fight to get this mortgage (and we want to go with this lender because they offer a special program through my work with very low interest rates).
Rough numbers are at most we need an 800k mortgage, will put a minimum of 20% down, have several hundred k in assets other than the down payment, want to do a 15-year fixed, have an HHI of >350k, both have credit scores >830, and only have a small car payment (<500) and student loan payment each month (~2000). Both of the other loans will be paid off in less than 6 months, and we could pay them off now if we wanted – they are just very low interest rates (one of them is less than 1%!) so it makes no sense to do so.
Any insights from those in the industry or who have been through it? This is keeping me up at night!
Underwriting is pretty technical these days but not as rigid as during the Great Recession. If all your other metrics are more than fine (and I think that they are) and no other red flags, you might be ok because neither of you changed fields. I think you’ll be ok but if you apply now and the prevailing opinion is a six-month wait for one or both jobs is needed, an inquiry by a lender would be wasted.
So I would call a couple brokers/loan officers and ask. You can stop by the local branch where you bank and ask a mortgage banker if they are on site. Or find a local independent broker and call. Or search on linkedin for a friend of a friend and call for advice. They might be able to give you an unofficial response as to how they look at things.
I think this is all fine, particularly just a one month gap in your situation (and I’m envious of that!). Just say what it was and it should not be a problem for applicants at your income levels with no other credit problems.
I would also talk to a mortgage broker who works with several lenders just so you’re sure you really know whether you’re getting a good deal.
No direct experience with your issue. The person we worked with at the lender where we got our mortgage was not so easy to work with. n of 1, but maybe the job is more likely to attract people who aren’t awesome to work with?
I bought a condo during the one month gap between leaving biglaw and starting in-house and had to write a very simple letter to the bank explaining the gap. I had already left the biglaw job (and was in the closing process on the condo) when this issue came up and the bank also had a copy of my offer letter with my delayed start date. My letter was 2 sentences and essentially said “Dear Bank, I delayed my start date with ABC Company until Date so I could move from City A to City B. Please let me know if you need further info.” The loan officer explained that they just needed something in writing to keep in their files. She indicated that anything reasonable would work (including just wanting to take a month off), although I had the move as a convenient excuse so I used that. Good luck!
I switched jobs while buying a house. I needed to provide my first paystub and I think a pay statement after 30 days of employment, but that was it. It wasn’t a big deal. Talk to the lender and get prequalified.
My husband and I just bought a house with neither of us having a job, it was NBD. We needed the explanatory letter and that was it. Post back if the work thing doesn’t work out and you’re looking for a mortgage broker who is okay with this – ours was amazing and I couldn’t recommend more.
I had a month break in between my jobs, but my history of 10 yrs continuous work in my field definitely made up for. My husband is self employed, which made our loan officer pause. YMMV… We chose to put down ~40% so much of our loan process was easier than otherwise….