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We haven't talked about how to wear an ID badge with style in far too long — and if you have the kind of job where you need to wear an ID badge all the time, they can definitely be a bit of a style bummer. These Kate Spade lanyards come in pink and black, and at least have the benefit of looking intentional.
I like that they come with additional card slots if you want to keep another credit card, keycard, or more in there. This one is $58, available at Zappos and Amazon. Cameron Street Lanyard
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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Yeah, no.
Anon
Agreed. Why does that thing have 6 different fonts on it?? Why does it have words in the first place? Very tacky.
In-House in Houston
That, plus $58? Wow!!
Ellen
We have to wear our ID badge’s in our building b/c we onley occupy 1/3 of 1 Floor in a 29 storey building. It is the ONLEY way we can get in — with our badges. The security peeople do NOT like to dial up to talk to someone other then LYNN, and LYNN is always late. So they gave us these ugly badges, with an ALLIGATOR clip on them and told us to wear them on our lapells. I said FOOEY, I do NOT want to have teeth marks on my Lapell, so I carry it in my purse and then take it out to put in the machine where my ID is magnetized.
But this would NOT work I think b/c I could NOT stick it into the machine with the Kate Spade cover on it. That would be even more troubel. FOOEY on that. So even if the manageing partner agreed to pay for this thing, I would have to take it out of the cover to stick it in the reader. DOUBEL FOOEY!
anon associate
There’s a line between creative/cute/edgy/stylish and just plain twee. I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.
Bonnie
I like the idea of a lanyard with space for other cards but would pick this simpler version. http://m.macys.com/shop/product/kate-spade-new-york-lanyard?ID=2927997&PartnerID=LINKSHARE&cm_mmc=LINKSHARE-_-1-_-8-_-MP18&LinkshareID=J84DHJLQkR4-dAQyvumkOvK5MhP4usx4_A
Anon
What kind of doctor is my first point of call if notice a lump in my bre*st? Would it be my PCP or gyn? I’m not overly worried (no family history of cancer, but I know that of course that doesn’t rule it out) but just noticed it this morning and should probably get it checked out.
bestname
gyn
Anonymous
PCP or GYN. A GYN is not a br*st specialist, and they’re going to handle it the same way your PCP would, so just see the one you’re the most comfortable with.
anon
I would choose the GYN over the PCP if they are affiliated with a larger hospital/women’s health practice.
Anonymous
Call your OB/GYN because they usually have a direct line to a breast specialist they can refer you to, in addition to writing an order for a mammogram.
My OB/GYN does not mess around when women under 40 find a lump. I found one last fall – called the office, had an appointment that afternoon, was at the mammogram clinic the next morning for mammogram and ultrasound. It turned out to be a cyst that resolved on its own, but most likely you will not be blown off or get told “it’s nothing.” 99% of the time it is nothing, but when it’s not nothing, it’s something, and they want an answer as quickly as possible about what’s going on.
kk
I think I’d rather wear my badge in the company-issued plastic sleeve than be perceived as someone who would spend $60 on a badge holder.
kag
It could be worse. Chanel issued lanyard necklaces this season…
Bonnie
Yikes. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/10/05/for-2017-chanel-is-embracing-tech-does-it-even-matter-if-thats-a-good-fit/?utm_term=.2e7508dbe927
MargaretO
Ok I just read the responses to my post on the weekend open thread and have to answer: if you know these men please tell me where to find them!!! (but don’t tell my mother she will get overexcited). I’m not kidding I have been out with so many a-holes Jewish guys who seemed to be really nice and feminist and then were proceeded to be the most misogynistic men I have ever encountered in my life. I basically just concluded that my life would be easier if I stopped dating “nice Jewish boys”. Some of these guys were Israeli (my mom is Israeli/so am I sort of) but plenty of them were just regular old reform American Jews. Even my mother, who would really like me to marry a Jew, acknowledges that finding someone really feminist in the Jewish community is hard and is totally understanding of that being more important to me than other criteria. I really mostly care about finding a feminist partner who loves me, but if he were to be Jewish it would make my relationship with my family so much easier. Where do they hide? Lots of us want to know!
Scarlett
LOL – I met my husband on OK Cupid; he’s Jewish but wasn’t looking to marry someone Jewish (he was open to the idea but preferred to be compatible values-wise and he isn’t particularly religious). He said he tried J-date, but found it to be too much of the traditional scene (which it sounds like you’re trying to avoid as well), so he just dated on the big, regular sites that were popular at the time we met. He listed being Jewish under religion & I think maybe had some kind of quip about it so it was clear this wasn’t a prerequisite for him. I guess the TL;DR is don’t go to the specialty sites or places, you’re more likely to find someone more open in the broader dating pool.
MargaretO
OMG this is already what I have been doing. It is just hard to find men who are worth dating regardless of background, but maybe the bad Jewish dating experiences have been kind of traumatizing. I’m glad you are amused (not being sarcastic) your comment made me laugh a lot. I’m sure I will go out with a Jewish guy again someday (unless inshallah I meet a nice man before that day comes) but yeah, never letting anyone in the Jewish community set me up, never dating anyone else from summer camp, etc.
Scarlett
Oh hang in there! My best advice is really to just keep looking, stay on the sites & date as much as you can if a relationship is what you’re looking for (I was & I did all these things and there’s no shame in admitting that). I read recently that the adage “you find it when you least expect it” is better phrased as “you may find it where you least expect it” & I liked that. I think it’s a good reminder to not rule people out based on their stated religion/culture if you like the sound of the person. There’s going to be a lot of variety in every culture/religious tradition and you might end up with yours or you might not. Every tradition is going to have their own fish out of water.
MargaretO
Definitely no shame. And for sure about not ruling people out – I am genuinely open to the possibility and to an extent being melodramatic – obviously I have met worse men. We will see what happens! I appreciate the advice!
Anononon
I died at “inshallah”. Found my goyishe husband through non-Jewish options and he is a way better feminist and more aligned with what I think of as my “Jewish values” (primacy of education, importance of social justice work, egalitarianism, love of deli foods and pickles) than any Jewish guy I ever dated.
MargaretO
I say inshallah all the time…maybe all the Palestinian feminists I’ve dated rubbed off on me :p I cosign those Jewish values 100% and would feel so lucky to meet a man of any background, ethnicity, or religion who shares them.
Ms B
Late to the thread but this 100% for me, right down to the deli food love. I was lucky enough to realize in college that I probably would be happier outside the tribe and that turns out to be right.
In addition to inshallah, I use habibi on a regular basis. Useful words!
Anonymous
I commented on the weekend thread but this is so weird to me – all the Jewish men I know well, including my husband, father, father-in-law, brother-in-law, and many of my husband’s friends, self-identify as feminist and most of them would have been comfortable marrying a non-Jewish woman (only one I’m not sure about is my BIL, who is Israeli, but many of my husband’s Jewish friends actually married non-Jewish women).
Of course there are a-holes of any religion and race, but I would say the Jewish men I know (who are almost all Reform, Reconstructionist or non-religious) are on the whole significantly more feminist than the average American white male. I hung out at a Jewish fraternity in college and also knew lots of guys through the college Hillel and would say the same thing about 80 or 90% of them. In my experience, non-Orthodox Jews and certain reform/non-religious Jews buy into that whole “women should be home with kids and babies” way less than most denominations of Christianity. I believe there is also a much larger percentage of the Jewish population identifying as atheists compared to other religions which (in my admittedly biased view) tends to correlate with more feminist views.
MargaretO
This definitely does not apply to my family, thankfully. It honestly has surprised me because I know all of those facts and statistics (and have similar biases tbh), and the men I am related to are pretty much all real deal feminists, but my experiences dating Jewish men have been very negative. Obviously anecdote is not the singular of data, these are just my experiences, etc. The sexism I have experienced has been the down low, comes out of nowhere type – just the subtle everyday stuff that really wears you down, not anything violent or involving gendered slur words. Definitely lots of guys who identify as feminists but don’t act like it, and definitely not pregnant barefoot in the kitchen orthodox judaism – more like having it all, lean in and also do my laundry and cook my dinner in work pumps. It’s hard to describe, this article really hit home for me if you’re up for a longish read, and I thought it was super interesting: http://lilith.org/blog/2017/01/the-mainstream-misogyny-of-the-nice-jewish-boy/.
Anonymous
Huh. All the Jewish guys I know are passionately feminist.
Anonymous
Genuine question — how old are you and the respondents to your question? I am older (mid-40s) and can’t imagine ever saying about a man I dated that he is “passionately feminist.” I am glad that women are finding it easy to find men who call themselves feminist, it is just far outside of my experience. Essentially every man I ever dated, and with only a few exceptions, have ever known, falls into the “having it all, lean in and also do my laundry and cook my dinner in work pumps” category. I mean, they would change diapers and make their own dinner at times, and even cook for a family sometimes, but they still have very gendered perceptions of roles and would want to be congratulated for pitching in to complete the lady labor.
Anonymous
I’m Anon at 5:12 and I’m 34.
Scarlett
I’m mid-40s, so is my husband & he identifies as a feminist (but he’s overall quite a bit more evolved on these issues than the average person I dated). I didn’t have a hard time finding this, though, but I’m also in San Francisco, and the climate here is quite a bit different, I think.
5:12
I’m in moderation for some reason, but I’m 34. But my father and father-in-law are both 70+ and are feminists (at least in practice if not in name, although I think have heard them both use the label).
cc
30- my husband is a teacher and I am an attorney. My career comes first- he is the one that cooks every night and does the majority of childcare. he does more lifting at home and I out earn him by about 3 times- its never been an issue. (He is also jacked, huge Boston sports fan, very alpha. Identifies as a feminist when asked (doesn’t randomly go shouting it from the rooftops but shouts it by actions- supports and promotes women and champions his female students and track stars, is the proudest person of me, and is just over all amazing.
MargaretO
I doubt you’ll see this but I am in my late 20s. My dad is almost 60 and calls himself a feminist (and really is one, he stayed home with us for years while my mom worked + too many other things to list). He has a few close male friends who I have heard call themselves feminists and definitely act like it from what I can tell. I have a lot of older relatives who didn’t really use the word feminist but were/are passionate about women’s rights, had super equal marriages, etc. I will say these are people who in general advocated for the rights of others who were less fortunate than them – I’m thinking of my maternal grandparents who marched for civil rights and volunteered to tutor black folks in their community so they could pass the literacy tests to vote back when you that was still happening. So they are male feminists who are also white anti racists, straight advocates for LGBT rights, Jewish anti Islamaphobia advocates, etc – its definitely not a value that exists in a vacuum.
Ellen
My dad is not a feminist, but I think that HELPED me become more successful as an attorney at law. HE did nothing to promote my feminist, preferring that I work as long as I was not married. I thank him for that because he supported my decision when I dumped my Alan for perpetual drinking and mistreating me. FOOEY on him. I am SO over him, tho I want a child and he could have given me one if he could have been a straight shooter, Dad says.
I think men should be fair, if not feminists. That is my ONLY requirement. I hope to get my man and child THIS year! Yay!!!!
Gail the Goldfish
Recommendations for restaurants in New Orleans? I’m going for work next week and may actually have free time for dinner. May also be able to squeeze in breakfast and lunch somewhere, so I’ll take recommendations for everything. And if I have time, what’s the 1 touristy thing I should see? Staying near the French Quarter, have never done anything touristy in New Orleans (I’ve been once, during which I had time to go from hotel to meeting to airport. Ah, work travel).
Scarlett
I don’t have a snappy [this site] address, but if you email me at nancydarbydrew at gmail, I can send you my extended list of NOLA recommendations.
Beans
Restaurant August (pricey)
Galatoire’s
Luke for breakfast or brunch
Cochon (casual)
Herbsaint (for lunch)
Jacques-Imo’s
I don’t like The Court of Two Sisters, although it is frequently recommended. I’m sure there are some New Orleans commenters who have awesome recommendations. Have fun!
Anon
Cochon for dinner!
marketingchic
Muriel’s on Jackson Square.
Senior Attorney
+1
Also there’s a great dive bar called Coop’s on Decatur St. that has amazing fried… everything. Expect to stand in line to get in but it’s worth it.
Anonymous
I loved Commander’s Palace, Atchafalya (had dinner at both of those) and Cafe Fleur de Lis and District Donuts (they have more than just donuts) for brunch. Cafe du monde is a classic, of course.
Frozen Peach
Cote du Sud is a little gem of a French restaurant.
Marshmallow
Jacques Imo’s! Some of the best food I have EVER eaten. It’s not in the French Quarter but if you want Creole food, it’s amazing. It’s in a college-y part of town near Tulane and you can take the streetcar there if you are staying in/near the French Quarter.
Colette
If you go to Jacques Imo’s hit up Snake n’Jake’s Christmas bar afterwards. Really fun dive bar that is a short walk away.
Gail the Goldfish
Thanks, everyone!
Anonymous
It’s me, the stuck-in-medical-billing hell post-IUD OP from the morning thread. Finally got the itemized diagnoses out of the doctor’s office – I’m getting hit with copays because during the insertion, they swabbed because I had a history of unexplained infections/discomfort (note that the charge was not for labs, but because it was an “extra” procedure, ugh whatever) and more egregiously, during the follow up, I had a 2-minute conversation that went like this:
Dr: *walking out the door* “Anything else you want to talk about?”
Me: “Not really, my leg swells up at work sometimes. That’s normal, right?”
Dr: “Yup, that’s fine. Call us if you’re worried. See ya!”
… which got noted and billed as an illness visit for a lower limb issue. I’m guessing the doctor just put in a note in case I mention it in the future and didn’t think it would make any difference and this is billing being nuts.
In the end, I will likely pay all of it, but will definitely think about switching away from a place that nickel-and-dimes patients so badly… I guess on the plus side, insurance isn’t the problem this time.
Marshmallow
Ugh, that’s annoying but I’m glad you got an explanation.
I’m frankly kind of shaken up from the comments I got in your thread around lunchtime today. Bounced the situation off a doctor friend who said while the TV ultrasound isn’t standard or common, some doctors do it as a matter of course– yes, it’s to drive up bills. It’s frustrating but not so far out of the realm of ordinary that she’d call it malpractice. Hearing her say that some doctors do this was reassuring, at least.
Anonymous
It’s a little perverse that there’s a profit incentive at all, but if it’s going to work like a business, I suppose that’s how it goes.
nan
This isn’t your doctor’s fault. This is how medicine/insurance works.
It has to be documented. You did gain from the doctor’s expertise. You could sue if the doctor gave you wrong/misleading advice. If you suddenly wound up in the emergency room with swelling and your doctor’s notes were requested for past medical history the documentation of the question would be helpful. Your doctor swabbed you for possible infection and that will be analyzed.
Did you expect your doctor to …???? hide all of this from your insurance company, and then be charged with fraud if it was discovered?
Complain about your INSURANCE or to the GOVERNMENT about how medical care is administered in this country and for wanting to repeal the protections that Obamacare gives us that weren’t even there a few years ago… (no-copay preventative stuff was never there before).
Please do not spout off at your doctor’s for “nickle and diming you”.
Anonymous
Doctors aren’t free. You did have a lower limb issue.
Celia
I received an EOB once that listed three different, billed “visits” for one trip to the gynecologist, with an accompanying bill for a co-pay (should have been free because “preventative”). When I called the insurance company, she said because the doctor came and went from the examining room a few times, it was billed as more than one office visit. I thought it odd at the time –why would the doctor need to leave and come back? But I found this unconscionable –the doctor netted hundreds of dollars more than for a routine Pap smear, with no enhanced benefit to me.
anna
That was an error, and is not allowed. Not at all.
When something sounds crazy, ask to speak to the supervisor.
They can charge a separate co-pay for the doctor visit, the Pap smear, the microbiology tests, and sometimes the clinic (if in a hospital) may have a hospital charge, but if it was preventative there shouldn’t be a co-pay anyway.
Me
This item was clearly designed by someone who has never had to wear their ID/badge around their neck before. The goal is not to have something giant around your neck, multiplying its size with credit card holders, etc staggarded to make your ID larger than it already is as it swings from your neck… (let alone give every professional you come across some cute slogan to read hanging from your neck too? No. We also don’t wear tshirts with logos to work for the same reason). This reminds me of a texas homecoming Mum.
A stylish lanyard holder might be something that resembles a simple necklace or even is made of a pretty fabric with a clip for your id. You’d want something that matches a lot (Like the black tote equivalent) so you don’t have to swap it out by outfit. I think a little pouch to slide your credit card into is ok but only if it’s flush with your badge.
Anonymous
Career/life advice needed.
I’m a fourth year in big law. Sometimes I hate my job, but overall I think I’ve had it easier than many in big law, both because I’m not in a major market, and because I’m just not a workaholic and I’m not willing to consistently put in 50-hour weeks unless I have absolutely no choice. I’d like to leave this job at some point before I get pushed out/become “unmarketable” (which I’ve heard happens around your sixth year), for a government job or in-house. I get good reviews but I don’t exceed my billables target and have no reason to think I could make partner even if I wanted to (and I don’t).
I’m almost 31, and just got married. Husband and I have decided that we would like to aim for two children, and I’d like to be done having kids by the time I’m 35. So obviously we need to start in the next year or so. He is way more excited about having kids than I am. In theory, I want them, but if I’m being honest, the thought of being pregnant, pushing out a kid, and then having a kid control my life is terrifying. So part of me wants to put it off as long as possible. But the other part of me thinks that maybe we should start trying sooner rather than later (i.e. in the next 6 months instead of sometime next year) so that I can take advantage of maternity leave while I’m still at the firm, and potentially be able to come back to the firm while I’m still a 5th year and have some decent exit options. If we wait until next year to try, I will be a sixth year by the time I’m back from maternity leave and have no idea what my exit options will be.
It’s scary to me to think of having a kid and then having to figure out a new job shortly thereafter. But I don’t want to look for a new job in the next year, because I’m still paying off my loans and the salary is nice.
Basically… does it make sense to move up our timeline a bit to give myself more time at the firm *after baby* to figure out my next move? Does it make sense to stay at a firm just to take advantage of maternity leave?
And will I get over this fear of having kids??
Anon
You can work less than 50 hours a week at your big law firm? Seriously? Are you getting paid big law money? If so, girl hold onto that job with both hands.
Signed – someone who works 60-70 hour weeks at a small firm and is definitely not getting paid big law money
Anonymous
I guess I should have specified that I meant *billing* not *working*. I routinely am in the office 55 hours a week (obviously more when on trial). But I rarely bill over 50.
Anonymous
And yes, they pay big law market.
Marshmallow
I’m shocked you can get away with billing fewer than 50 hours on the reg. Hold onto that job!
Really though, I’m a year junior to you but it seems like the obvious path is to take the maternity leave at your firm and look for an exit option after you are back from leave (or maybe while you’re still on leave). Again, being junior and having not actually done this, all I can offer here is my own gut reaction. The issues with putting off having a kid because you’re scared are a whole other can of worms that only you can open.
Anonymous
are *most* non-NYC biglaw associates really billing 2,400+ hours a year? Our target is 2,000. If someone tells me my target is 2,000, then that is how much I will plan on billing.
Anonymous
I’m pretty sure the target is 1800-2000 hrs for the bigger law firms in my area (Mpls-St. Paul.) I’m not in a billable position, though.
Anon
This is true in my SE area as well. And in my firm, bonuses are standardized by hours, so I’m not killing myself to work more than the top bonus level # of hours (which is 2100). I don’t work for free.
full of ideas
Target is 1900, expectations are 2100, rarely bill +50 hr/wk, big law money
Marshmallow
I’m in NYC so my experience is different, but yeah, my peers and I aim to significantly exceed our billing requirements. I have a few friends in non-NYC markets who have told me they are billing well over their requirements, too, although maybe by a couple hundred hours. But I really mean only a few friends so I have a very skewed sense of what is typical outside NYC! It’s totally possible that you are normal and my experience is not.
Anonymous
No advice about the work stuff, but I just wanted to say the whole kids things scares me too. I do really like older kids and can picture myself enjoying motherhood once my kid is walking and talking, but I also don’t feel like my life is incomplete without kids. I love my dog and my husband and the life we have now, with lots of travel, a beautiful and very-not-child-proof home and plenty of money for just about everything we’d ever want. I know life won’t look like that forever – I’ll almost certainly outlive the dog and probably the husband too, but I just don’t see kids as some magical cure-all for end-of-life loneliness (all four of my grandmothers(in-law) died alone in nursing homes). And the whole pregnancy/birth thing is beyond terrifying to me, and it makes me mad that I’m the one that has to give up my body to another person for two to three years and deal with the physical changes for the rest of my life when my husband is the one who really feels the burning desire for kids. We’re talking about TTC soon and just…ugh. I’m sure I will love the kid when it gets here, but right now I could not really be less excited about giving up control of my life for 18+ years. My friends all tell me “you’ll understand when you experience it, it’s the greatest love you’ve ever known, etc etc” and all I can say is I sure hope so.
Anonymous
Sorry for party rocking…
I really think people who are just lukewarm about having kids should not have them.
It’s really, really hard. You have to give parenting a lot of your time, attention, money, focus, etc. This is a commitment-necessary exercise – you cannot phone-in being a mother, unless you are interested in ending up the parent of a sociopath.
And guess what? Kids pick up on it when they’re parents are not invested. My son has asked me, “why do some people have kids if they don’t really like kids?” after having conversations at school with his friends who have figured out one or both of their parents are not really into it. This is particularly difficult (sorry) when it’s the mom who is not into it. Kids with moms who are only partly emotionally/mentally there know they are missing out on something. It’s also apparent to other parents, and some of us are left with the job of trying to rationalize the behavior of absent or checked-out parents to their kids. (And I am not talking about parents who are engaged, but can’t be at every single school event, because that’s me. I mean the parents who make it clear, when they’re with their kids, they would rather be anywhere else, doing anything else, than interact with their kids.)
It’s okay not to want kids. It’s okay to know that’s not for you. What’s not okay is to have a baby to make your husband happy, or check off a “k, did that” box, knowing you’re not really that into it. That screws kids up. Yes, you will love your baby once it’s here, but that’s different than committing to parenting with an open heart and positive attitude. This is not like a career choice, or a particular job, where if you don’t like what you get yourself into, you can “tap out” and go do something else. Once the kid is here, you are in it for life. And if you screw up, you don’t get a do-over. Having and raising a child is a high-stakes endeavor, so make sure you’re all-in if you’re going to do it.
Anonymous
+1 Pro tip: Don’t marry a guy who wants kids when you obviously don’t.
Also re: your anxiety-driven effort to plan the timing of…everything. If you are going to be a parent, you’re going to have to give up on perfectly-executed plans.
Anon
What kind of pies are everyone having tomorrow? I went with a chocolate layer.
Houston
A local favorite– Bayou goo
No More Pie
I mayyyyy have nearly broken down in Safeway over pie. I don’t eat it. I’m bringing it as, well, bribery for a presentation I want people to come to that I worked until late last night and most of today on and I’m exhausted. And then I could not find a pie server and was overwhelmed with pie chives and I’m just really tired and….cried. A bit.
So, none. Pie is the breaking point.
In search of Blouses!
I posted way too late this morning. I’m upgrading my wardrobe (from govt lawyer to private practice) and Blouses are my last thing.
I live in Houston where it is pretty hot and humid but A/C sometimes makes it pretty frigid. I’ve previously worn tshirts or cheap Blouses from Old Navy, or Talbots. I have a few button ups from Eddie Bauer but don’t wear them too often 1/x month.
I am a M-L (8-10) in Most stores. Suggestions on where to look and how much to pay?
Marshmallow
I’ve said this before here but I really like Everlane silk. I’ve also had good luck with J. Crew for simple polyester blouses that won’t wrinkle and can be thrown in the wash. COS can be nice if your style skews more architectural/ modern, but their sizing is all over the place. I also just love MM LaFleur– they are investment level and I only own one shirt from them, but I’m drooling over all of their new blouses in the spring collection. FYI, they run consistently one size smaller than a mass market brand like J. Crew, but once you find your size you can generally count on that size fitting you across the brand.
TorontoNewbie
I like Equipement and The Kooples for silk button-ups. Judith & Charles are also lovely.
Jules
A surprising number of my favorite tops and blouses come from AT and Loft.
Anonymous
Antonio Melani at Dillard’s for inexpensive silk shells and short sleeve tops.
Anonymous
Antonio Melani at Dillard’s for inexpensive silk shells and short sleeved tops. WHBM for knits.
anon
Fellow Houston lawyer so this is going to be super specific:
Stop in at the Last Call by the Galleria. They normally have a good number of blouses (DvF, Joie, Theory) on sale on a regular basis. The TJ Maxx by River Oaks on West Gray (and the Marshalls next door) also normally have good deals on nice blouses. Also, if you are up for it, go to the outlets on 290 and check out the Elie Tahari, Saks Off 5th and Theory outlets. I’d skip the Nordstroms/Off 5th in Sugarland since it’s a bit more picked over and less work stuff.
Budget wise, I’d aim for $50-100 per shirt for something that really makes you happy.
Houston
Thank you! Super helpful!
Keeping it Casual
How do you all feel about casual relationships? Particularly ones that last longer than a couple months. I’m wondering what to consider and what boundaries to put into place.
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Not sure it matters, it’s all about how you feel. If you want boundaries and rules, it’s not so casual, which is fine if that’s what you both want (or if you want it enough to risk whatever it currently is by bringing up a request for more). If you’re being asked for boundaries, go for it if you want, turn it down if you don’t. Society seems keen on convincing us that a momentary lapse in judgment for a 1 night thing is now socially acceptable but no -real- woman would choose a casual thing. Except that’s more patriarchy thinking we should be chaste til matrimony.
If you’re happy and being safe, you do you. If you’re not, get out of the thing and go find what brings you joy! <3
Wildkitten
<3
Paging lawsuited
Regarding nursing-friendly wedding attire – I really liked figure8maternity (dot) com for nice nursing dresses. Not sure about size availability but I found a dress that was nursing friendly-ish that I wore to a wedding 3wks postpartum. They have free returns but only within a 30-day window, I think, so I ordered 2 sizes and returned one (wasn’t sure what size I would be pp). good luck!
long shot
Is anyone selling a car or know a good person to buy from that’s not awful to deal with in the Los Angeles area or SFV area?
Wildkitten
Someone asked this on here recently and the consensus was Carmax.