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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 176 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Palm Springs Sloan

Coffee Break

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Kate Spade Palm Springs SloanIf any of you are hunting for a navy, lavender, or “pebble” bag, I have the bag for you: the Palm Springs Sloan. I like the scalloped trim, and the huge interior compartments — but I do think it looks much better when carried versus worn on the shoulders — but maybe that's just me. The “midnight,” in particular, seems like a great bargain if you wear navy all the time — it was $458, but is now marked to $320 at Kate Spade and Bloomingdale's. Kate Spade Palm Springs Sloan (L-4)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anon for this

    First of all, I love that bag. Sadly, out of my price range, but wow.

    Now, a TJ: Do any of you ladies have experience with homeschooling (either as teacher or pupil)? I am especially interested to hear from homeschooling/unschooling participants where religion was not a factor. TIA!

    • Anne Shirley

      Does experience with people who have been homeschooled count? I attended law school with a young man who had been homeschooled through college. Very smart, did excellently in school, has a great job, and zero ability to relate to people outside his comfort zone.

        • Anne Shirley

          Mmmmmhmmmmm. I want to say via a distance learning program from an established school, but still physically undertaken at home.

      • V

        I had a period of not going to school when I was younger (living abroad). I was old enough to be reading already and did a lot of reading. My mother was a teacher and we went to regular schools when we got back to the US. I know of a lot of people who do that (non-religious expats and military people who don’t have access to DOD schools; all elementary school and only as-needed).

        So for us partial-home-schoolers, things have all worked out. I have no experience with full-time all-the-time homeschoolers.

      • Lady Harriet

        Where I went to college, at least 25% of the students had been homeschooled, including many of my friends, generally at least partly for religious reasons. I found that social abilities depended much more on the individual person, rather than the schooling background. There didn’t seem to be a big difference from what I found at my large public high school, except that people were friendlier in college. (This may have been for a whole host of other reasons, though.) I have friends who are outgoing and very socially astute (much more so than I am!) who were homeschooled until college.

        Academically, it depended a lot on how people were homeschooled. Some were extremely diligent and meticulous students, some were totally clueless. Many people had done a distance-learning homeschool program, and so actually had the exact same high school classes, even though they were from opposite ends of the country. There was more variation among people whose parents generated their own curricula. I remember one guy who had never written a paper before he came to college, but his mother had died when he was 12 or 13 and he’d been unschooled with little supervision after that, so he definitely wasn’t the typical case. I’d say on average, homeschooled students were better at self-motivation for their work, but sometimes trouble with firm deadlines and a structured school environment, since they often hadn’t had these before. I had the opposite problem–after 13 years of public school, I had trouble adjusting to the relative lack of structure in college and underperformed my first two years.

        Homeschooling can be great if it’s the right fit for your kid/family. I don’t think it would have been good for me personally, since I’ve never been very self-motivated, and I need a more structured environment to be able to make friends, but many of my good friends thrived under it. Most of them had sports/scouts/clubs/church youth groups/homeschool co-ops that provided them with social interaction outside of their own family as well.

    • Nervous 2L

      Someone in my high school was largely homeschooled but came to school for language classes (she loved languages and I think it was a great way for her parents to get her interacting with all sorts of students). She seemed happy and well-adjusted, but that combo of homeschool + some school really worked well for her.

      • Anon for this

        That’s closer to what my husband and I are considering—a la carte education rather than a regular school day. The child is extremely self-motivated, having taught herself so much by age 4 that you might not believe me if I told you. I’d like to offer structure, including classes outside the home and without me administering (music, art, or what have you), while letting her continue to progress academically at her own pace, with my husband and I as facilitators.

        • anon

          Respectfully, I think many of us would believe what she has learned so far. We were those kids. Is there some reason you think she won’t succede in school? There are lots of programs especially for the little ones that emphasize exploration. Tbh, this sounds like you’re a stay at home mommy trying to justify your life by how very very special your snowflake is and that worries me.

          Id seriously consider a Montessori or Waldorf or similar program and see how it goes.

          • Cimorene

            Yeah, the “she’s just too bright for school” argument doesn’t carry much weight. If you don’t think the public school is a good fit, look into a Montessori, or Waldorf if you have that available, program. School provides a lot more than teaching facts and figures. It’s about learning to function in a group and interacting with others, which are pretty important skills.

        • Killer Kitten Heels

          Don’t automatically assume that a local public or private school will fail her just because she’s self-motivated and perhaps knows more (even a lot more) than other kids her same age. I was an “extremely self-motivated learner” as a kid, and went to one of the worst public schools in the area. My teachers supplemented my education in class by giving me more/different work (i.e. if the class was doing a book report, I had to do a report comparing and contrasting two books, or had to read a more difficult book), and my parents supplemented at home with music lessons, enrichment classes at the local college, and the like. For me, school was more about learning social skills – not just the usual “don’t be socially awkward” stuff, but also skills like patience, how to be helpful without being annoying, how to back off and let other people be the center of attention, how to talk to other kids about what they were interested in, instead of just what I liked, you get the picture.

          I think home schooling can be great, for parents and kids, and I have no kids myself so I can’t imagine how I’d make this choice, but it sounds like you’re operating from a place of “she’s just too *smart* for school,” and I’m concerned you’re overlooking the fact that (a) schools work with smart kids all. the. time. and won’t be as inept at teaching her as you seem to think; and (b) there are arguably experiences/skills gained in a school environment that can’t be replicated elsewhere (or at least, not replicated easily).

          • anon

            This is exactly what I meant, but nicer. A+ for Killer Kitten’s social skills.

          • Leigh

            My husband’s parents pulled DH and his sisters out of school because ‘they weren’t being challenged.’ My in-laws then proceeded to give their children ‘booklets’ to do, and did zero teaching. My husband, brilliant as he is, did not do ANY high school course work because he was not monitored, and didn’t face consequences for not doing work. When it came to getting a diploma, his parents sent his bogus grades to a principal they knew and he was given a diploma.

            Can it work if the parent is more dedicated? Sure, but I’ve seen so many more instances of it not working well.

        • Wildkitten

          I started kindergarten at 4 and went to gifted education shortly after. I loved it. So, that might be an option for your super-smart 4 year old, that won’t require home-schooling.

          • Alana

            Me too, but I attended the 3rd grade a second time at a different school because my mother was concerned about developing social skills.

    • ADL

      The Pioneer Woman homeschools her four kids b/c they live in the middle of nowhere and part of her blog is devoted to homeschool (another woman writes about her homeschooling experiences with her 3 kids). Could be helpful in your gathering of info, especially the comments.

    • S

      I used to be a newspaper reporter, and we did a several-part series where half a dozen of us from different bureaus examined homeschooling. We all interviewed different families with different reasons; we explored situations with young kids, older kids, as well as several adults who had been homeschooled; and we talked to a variety of school officials in different districts (elementary/middle school/high school) about their experiences over the years with homeschooled kids who were brought back into the system. To be honest, we really wanted to present pros and cons and had a very hard time finding true “success” stories.

      By in large, the kids and adults who were homeschooled seemed happy. But the adults hadn’t really done anything notable. The school folks (unanimous) and the parents of children who had reentered the system (homeschooled elementary and then rentered and homeschooled until early highschool and then rentered) talked at great length about gaps going on academically. A lot of the parents were thinking they could do best by selecting curriculum, but it didn’t seem to track that closely to what was happening in the world around. Which is OK on it’s own, but at some point the student is going to be up against others who have had this exposure. Granted, this was late 90s, so web use and the ability to connect with others wasn’t what it is now. I’m sure it’s a lot easier to research text books, connect with others for social interactions, etc. But unless your local schools are really rotten, it seems like a huge disservice to the kid. Like I said though, consider the era and that this is anecdotal.

      FWIW, I don’t have children of my own–so no dog in this hunt.

    • Anon for This

      I was homeschooled until college (K-12). I am now at a top law school, at the top of my class, on law review, moot court, and clerking for a federal judge after graduation. For me, homeschooling was great for two reasons: (1) I developed a love for learning. My education was based on my interests. My mother constantly took me to art museums, history museums, aquariums, etc. I studied things that I was interested in, and as a result, I developed a love for learning. For this, I am forever grateful. (2) In highschool, I was very involved in political campaigning and other things that I would not have been able to do had I been in a traditional school.

      Many homeschoolers I know are socially awkward, so I really understand why they get that reputation. But you can prevent that by having your child really involved with other kids as you are homeschooling.

    • Lyssa

      I spent most of my teens heavily involved with community theater, which was an “acceptable” activity for some highly sheltered homeschool families, so I had a pretty negative view of the whole thing for a while (particularly of the family that refused to let their kids perform in the most fun song at the end of a show because it used the word “darn.” Yep.)

      HOWEVER, the town I’ve lived in had a really, really great homeschooling group. It was more “super-flexible private school” in a lot of ways – they were part of a group that did attend classes at various places, and even had teams and dances and that sort of thing. I practiced law with an alum of the group for a while, and helped him out coaching their mock trial team, and was really, really impressed with the kids – super smart and hard working, but well socialized and normal as well. So, I’ve turned around on the issue quite a bit. I doubt that we’ll do it, but we would probably consider it if we had more limited options available. A friend of mine (who was also anti-homeschool for a while, but found herself with only bad options) just started recently, and she and her daughter seem to really be enjoying it. There are a lot of resources for them to use, so it’s not just on her.

      So, bottom line: Engaged homeschooling groups good, sheltered kids bad. Good luck, whatever you choose!

      • Anonymous

        Your experience seems to be with religious folks (assuming so because of the objection to use of the word, ‘darn’ and the delineation of ‘acceptable activities.’ It is common for very religious families to homeschool their kids so that they aren’t exposed to all sorts of mainstream things that are deemed unacceptable. However, the OP was asking for experiences of people that were homeschooled for non-religious reasons.

        In my experience there are predominantly two camps of homeschoolers — 1) religious; and 2) hippies (I say lovingly). I knew many people who were homeschooled who also had home births and grew their own food / belonged to food co-ops. These people breastfed their children until 3-4 years old and had a very specific set of ideals and beliefs about parenting. This was in the 1970’s and 1980’s before things like caring about the environment and eating local, natural, organic food were mainstream concerns.

        • mama of 2

          My best friend growing up was homeschooled in this kind of environment – born in the late 70s, parents who didn’t eat sugar (lots of carob chips in that household!), hippie environmentalists but also very religious Christians. I’ve often wondered what happened to that brand of Christianity. I don’t see it today.

    • CKB

      I used to live in a very small town where homeschooling seemed to be a trend.

      I saw a wide variety of homeschoolers. Some did it really, really well. Some not so well.

      Success seemed to depend on the reasons for homeschooling (the ‘my child is too shy for school’ and ‘we can’t get up early enough for school’ families were less successful), the teaching abilities of the parent leading the schooling, and the dedication to it.

      My biggest concern arises from the experience of the family who homeschooled their children until the parents got a divorce and the mom had to go back to school. One of the daughters was in grade 9, and it was discovered when she went back to school that she had Aspergers. She missed out on years of interventions & therapies because her parents didn’t recognize it in her, which is totally understandable. You always think your experiences are normal. Her parents believed she was normal.

      If we had homeschooled my middle son his (rather severe inattentive) ADHD would probably have gone undiagnosed for years and he would have missed years of learning coping strategies. Because we believed he was normal. Different from our oldest, sure, but we thought it was just personality, not something else. However, my youngest’s impulsive ADHD probably wouldn’t have gone undiagnosed. It was pretty obvious in him.

    • ex-homeschooler

      I was homeschooled in kindergarten (Mom did hooked on phonics with me and I learned basic numbers/addition type stuff) and then in public school first through seventh grade. I was also a self-motivated child and in all the accelerated classes from the jump. My little brother’s elementary school went on the state’s “failing” list, the high school I would have gone to was at the time eaten up with MS-13 presence, and a few other nasty occurrences led my parents to look for alternatives. We probably would have gone to private school but at the time mom and dad couldn’t send both lil’ bro and me to private schools in the DC area so we homeschooled. I did 8th grade through graduation as a homeschooler and loved it, my little brother did it 4th to 8th grade and then went to a Christian private school to play sports. I did mainly correspondence classes and we were heavily involved with a local and very active homeschooling group (recognized as a private school by the state, lots of oversight, once a week classes for things tough to do at home as well as intramural level sports and yearbook and drama) and in our church. I know you said “non-religious” and I have to be honest, depending on your area, it might be tough for you. 100% of the homeschool families I knew were Christians. That may have been a particular phenomenon of where we lived, but I doubt it.

      If you wondered how I turned out–I graduated magna cum laude from a four-year and just graduated from law school this past spring. Little bro is now a senior in college and doing very well. Homeschooling is NOT for everyone, and I would NOT encourage anyone to do it outside of a well-developed organization with plenty of group activities and supervision. Most of the kids I knew were pretty well adjusted, but there’s always the weird ones. People lose their minds when I tell them I homeschooled in high school, but I think I might be an exception to the general rule. Do your research carefully (I’d consider something like private school for at least a while to see how your little one does) and proceed with caution. My mom would tell you it’s a lot of work because she was extremely involved in what we were doing (although most of my stuff was independent, she was the planner and oversight committee), particularly for my little brother. It took a toll on her wrestling with us when we were whiny about doing our work or when we were struggling to master a concept.

    • Anonymous

      My parents were hesitant to send me to public school because, at the age of four, I was reading, writing, building dna out of legos, etc. My grandparents convinced them that I’d be “weird” if I didn’t get the social interaction of public school, so I went to kindergarten. I had fun, but it was also definitely a waste of time. I’d spend the day “learning” the alphabet and then come home and read the newspaper to my parents while they made dinner. After kindergarten my parents decided to homeschool, despite my grandparents’ concerns. Ten years later I had a college degree, with honors, and was applying to graduate schools.

      Fast forward ten more years and I have a graduate degree, a law degree (magna, T14), and am several years into my career.

      Not going to lie, I was incredibly socially awkward as a tween. Part of it was ordinary growing pains, part of it was from being homeschooled, and part of it was because I didn’t necessarily have much in common with my twelve year old peers or my twenty year old classmates. As I became an adult, however, I found myself relating to people a lot better. At about 18 I started hanging out with both (grad school) classmates and (undergraduate) peers, dating, etc. and was told by several different people that I was the most normal formerly-homeschooled person they knew. I’m now engaged and have a few different circles of good friends.

      In retrospect, I’m so glad my parents decided to homeschool me. I may have turned out fine if I’d gone to a good public school, but I wouldn’t have ended up as educated as I am and there would not have been as much extra time in my childhood (until I started college I was always done with school by noon because I could do my work at my own pace) to play and read for fun.

    • National_Anthem

      I had a brief stint with homeschooling – I think it can really work for some people and is not great for others.

      I grew up in a very rural area with a terrible school. I attended said terrible school K-6th grade, but because I was doing the work faster than the other kids and there was no specific program for kids on the higher end of the academic spectrum, in 6th grade the teacher just put me in the hall with a years’ worth of assignments and said go for it. After that year, my parents figured I wasn’t getting much from the school and decided to try homeschooling. In all honesty, I did very little actual schoolwork during that time. I read a ton already, so I basically just hung out and read books (mostly real literature or science-y stuff, but I didn’t write any papers or do anything of that nature). I did have a math textbook and a language textbook that I sort of worked through, but there was very little structure.

      However, even with the lack of structure, I don’t feel like I missed out on any learning – and I might have kept on homeschooling, except the lack of social interaction just killed me. Since we lived in a rural area, I just did not see people on a regular basis. My parents tried to make sure that I got interaction, and we would go to events that a homeschooling group facilitated, but those required traveling a decent distance, plus everybody in the group was incredibly religious (not that that is a problem, but we weren’t and we were sort of out of place). Most of the other homeschoolers were really nice people but painfully awkward with people they did not know.
      Due to the lack of social interaction, I decided to go back to school after a year. That said, when I did go back to school, I was able to skip 8th grade, which helped in my goal to get out of there and on to college faster.

      Despite the terrible school and lackluster curriculum during homeschooling, I made it through college and law school. I’m sure your kid will do just fine no matter what educational route you choose – if she’s bright, you’re not going to mess things up, no matter what route you go with.

      I’d also add that on of my roommates and dear friends in college was homeschooled for all of her pre-college education. She lived in a city, and there were plenty of avenues for social stuff, and she was very well adjusted. However, her parents fell into the ‘hippie’ category of homeschooling parents, and she definitely had some weird gaps in her knowledge. She was very bright and did very well at college, but every once in a while something came up that she had just missed (like, could not name the three branches of government). I think since there was no curriculum, she missed some pretty basic things that everyone normally gets in school – so make sure that doesn’t happen. That said, she’s fine and a successful adult now, but it is just something I’d watch out for.

  2. Modalu - Pippa

    For those who own the Pippa bag, how well does the leather wear? The lining?

    • TO Lawyer

      Mine was wearing fine (I haven’t seen it in 6 months as it’s been “borrowed” by my mom”). I used it for 2 fall/winters and have a tendency to overstuff my bags. The leather and lining were fine but the straps were wearing a tiny bit.

      On the converse side, I have a friend who has had hers for 2 years and she had to replace it because the lining ripped and the straps wore out.

      On the whole though, I think it wears quite nicely and in my mind, is quite worth it.

    • elz

      Perfectly thus far. I’ve had mine for about 18 months. I usually carry it once or twice a week from the Spring through early Fall.

      • Anon

        I’m in its second year of quite heavy use and like TO Lawyer, I find the straps are showing the most wear, but its very minimal. I’m very happy with the quality, also have a Modalu wallet and small cross body bag as well.

    • Freyja

      Very happy with mine, have been carrying as a daily work bag since March. No noticeable wear (admittedly, not stuffed to the gills, and laptop & files are carried in separate bag). I got the grey – I think it’s called “shark”? I can’t tell you how many compliments I have gotten on that bag! Love!

    • Carrie Preston

      The linking on mine ripped w/in 6 months (maybe even 3), but the exterior leather wore fine. In fairness, I used the pockets that ripped daily & perhaps more heavily than they should have been used (I kept keys/lipsticks/pens in there that were pointy & perhaps that caused rips). The exterior leather is nice quality – better than a lot of other bags I’ve had. On the whole, I love the look of the bag – great size, details, but I stopped carrying it b/c of the lining issue (thought I lost keys and they were just swimming under the lining) & it’s really heavy (the nice leather means it’s not a light bag) & it also isn’t easy to carry — mine didn’t come w/ a shoulder strap & the handles are just a wee bit too short for me to sling it over my shoulder. It’s a bag I want to love, but I don’t.

  3. New Girl

    How would you react to a mouse taking up residence in your office? One scurried in from the hall yesterday and is still behind my desk. There is no food in my office and I am incredibly skeeved about this. For some context, I work above a factory in a more rural part of the Northeast. As I’m a newish employee (6 months) would it be within my limits to push about stepping up the exterminators efforts? Mice are not something I’m used to dealing with and I’m already seen as prissy for being the only female on the floor and because my allergies have forced me to leave and work from home due to the poor ventilation. Now that there is a rodent camped out in my office, I’ve had it. Any suggestions for bringing this up? Thanks in advance.

    • Anne Shirley

      Can you just bring in a trap? I understand the prissiness concerns, but I wouldn’t want to share an office with a mouse.

    • Yuck

      Mice can be carriers of the hantavirus. Besides, if you’ve seen one mouse, there are probably several. Report it to the facilities manager/office manager and ask them to deal with it.

      • Olivia Pope

        I think reporting it matter-of-factly will deal with prissiness concerns. “There’s a mouse in my office. Do we have a protocol for dealing with this?”

        • Brant

          I”d say “what’s the protocol” not “do we have one?”

          If you have an infestation of ants, or cockroaches, or who knows what else, your facilities folks will take care of it. Just don’t run down the hall saying “EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK A MOUSEESEEEEEEEEEEEEEee”. That will make you look prissy. Try also to refrain from standing on your desk and dialing 9-1-1

      • Ellen

        This is what I was worried about in my first apartement. There were all kind’s of vermen skurryeing around — mice, bug’s and roache’s. So when I said to my Dad, I did NOT go to law school and become a member of the NY Bar — in good standeing — to live like THIS, with a room mate that alway’s had a grungy guy around 24/7, stinkeing up our bathroom and burpeing after drinkeing milk out of the carton– Dad agreed!!!

        So my dad said he would buy me an apartement (just a coop), and I could live in a better place where I could meet a decent guy who would MARRY me and we would be abel to live in even a BETTER place together (Yay!). So I got this cute apartement where it is all decorated by Mom’s freind (a profesional designer), but I STILL have not found MR RIGHT to marry me and let me move up in the world to a 3 BEDROOM, which is what we would need with a Balcony and a swimming pool on the roof, in Tribeacca. That is what I would like and deserve, but Sam is not measureing up and Willem is according to Sam, who is prejudice, not abel to support me in the lifestyle that I want.

        So I want to be along way better then the mice infested roach trap I lived in on 89th, and have made some steps to get there, but hope to be MARRIED and with child before next September, which Grandma Leyeh reminded me over the holiday mean’s I have to get busy before YEAR END. FOOEY! Because the guy’s I have now are not those that I want to marry and I will NOT sleep with anyone without at least a ring. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    • V

      Eww. If there is one mouse, there may be more. And they are incontinent, so look for a trail of poop to see where you can put traps. They love peanut butter and I’ve found that a bit of that in a sticky trap works (but then you have a live but stuck mouse to deal with). Maybe ask if your business has an exterminator contract (our building has a company that comes around) and put your space on his route for the next time he visits?

      • BB

        Yes to the cat. That was my first thought. My in-laws cat would have a ball. I would probably put her on a leash and let her have at it in my office. :) (My own darling lazy cat on the other hand will probably stay at home…)

    • Anon

      It’s perfectly reasonable to call facilities about it. They should at least set a mouse trap in there.

    • This will out me

      My assistant’s cube was being remodeled and I was outside of my office talking with her when the maintenance guy pulled the two cube walls apart. A mouse ran out from INSIDE her cube walls. I was so not expecting it and screamed SO loud. Another attorney (an office down from mine) was on the phone and his client heard me scream and asked if everything was okay. People came running. The maintenance guy caught it in a box and put it outside. I still have not gotten over the fact that there WAS A MOUSE LIVING IN HER CUBE WALLS. I’m sure the mouse was pleasantly asleep in its little home when suddenly there was an earthquake and all but EWWWWWWWW.

    • Calibrachoa

      I grew up in an old farm house so mice were not that unusual. I’ve never encountered a mouse in my office but once upon a midnight dreary there was one in the cafeteria.

      I flagged down security who, ah, got a broom and thumped the poor thing. :(

      • Anon

        I’m very much an animal lover, but there was something about “thumped the poor thing” that made me laugh.

  5. anonTTC

    Hi all – sorrry if I’m posting twice, tried to post on the morning thread but I don’t think it worked! I remember a thread on this a while back, but searches have been fruitless. I’m just starting the whole baby train thing and have so many questions, things to learn, etc. None of my friends have babies and I don’t want to get my SIL, mom and MIL overly excited! Any blogs, online communities or sites you’d recommend? What blogs can I go to and discuss? Love the community here but want to save you all from my prego overload! Thanks so much!

    • preg anon

      This has been discussed before, but unfortunately, from what I remember, there’s not much to offer. Baby Center is okay, but it’s really for once you get pregnant. I would buy Taking Charge of Your Fertility and focus your attention there.

    • Nonny

      I’ve had good luck with Baby Center and the online community there. I believe others like StorkNet as well. Good luck!

    • anonTTC

      Thank you! Downloaded Taking Charge of Your Fertility on my kindle and was very overwhelmed by chapter 1. Thought easing into it with some web browsing and women to put my mind at ease might help :) will try baby center and storknet for sure.

    • preg 3L

      I’m big on books. When we started TTC, I read The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant (and I highly recommend it!).
      At the beginning of my pregnancy, I bought a ton of books and read them all right away. I found it useful to feel informed in that way. I would recommend:
      – The Mother of All Pregnancy Books
      – Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy
      – Expecting 411
      – Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
      – Natural Hospital Birth
      – The Birth Partner
      – Your Best Birth
      – Bright From the Start
      – What’s Going On In There? (on baby brain development)
      I’ve probably way overdone it, but I really hate feeling uninformed and I, like you, am the first of my friends to have a baby (haven’t had it yet though!). Good luck!

      • preg 3L

        BTW, I never managed to get through TCOYF. I felt like it was too overwhelming (though at this point I might feel differently). I’m told that The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant is based on the same philosophy as TCOYF.

        • Nonny

          I just skimmed TCOYF in the bookstore. I got the gist of it and after that it didn’t seem worth spending money on. But YMMV.

          • preg anon

            Actually, I agree with this even though I ended up reading the whole thing. I would recommend just skimming. However, the temperature method just didn’t work out for me, so if you really want to use it rather than the strips, then you should probably buy it. I just found the strips much more useful to my lifestyle.

      • anonTTC

        Wow – thank you so much for this list! I’ve heard the Mayo Clinic book is the one must-read, and hubs is planning to read that too (of his own accord, impressive!). Will definitely explore all your suggestions – exciting to have reading. Since we’re just trying and not actually pregnant yet, think I should hold off or is some advanced knowledge a good thing?!

        • preg anon

          It’s totally personal. I didn’t read much. I used the ov*lation strips to make sure we didn’t miss game time, but otherwise only read TCOYF. I am not someone who needs to know everything; that would have made me more nervous, particularly with any conflicting information (which happens a lot). But if you are someone like preg 3L who feels better knowing more, then read more books. Of course, I may have read more if it had taken us longer, but I didn’t want to freak myself out from the beginning.

        • preg 3L

          I only started reading those pregnancy books once I was pregnant. Some of them will scare you and some will inspire you; I think focus on having fun and getting knocked up and then learn what you need to know. Also, once you’re pregnant, I highly highly recommend Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak. It’s not about pregnancy, really, it’s about making the most of your life as a working mom. (Can’t believe that didn’t make my first list!)

          • mascot

            “Good Enough is the New Perfect” is also a good read for working moms.

    • Pregomama

      What are you actually concerned about/ what stage are you at? Are you just, “so, I think I want to have a baby? Maybe?” and just looking for info?

      My $.02- I was at that phase. I talked to DH, we did some math on our ages and the number of children we want to have, and decided to go for it, casually at first. I just stopped taking BC and started having more $ex and waited to see what happened to my period after coming off BC. After 2 months, I did some googling and learned about optimal timing, etc. Got pregnant during the second month where we actively paid attention to my cycle and timed things accordingly (so 4-5 months after stopping BC). Subsequently panicked and read a few books on what to expect (loved the mayo book).

      After 12 weeks, when the pregnancy was more in the “safe” zone, I started to look at resources for the science of it all–I’m now almost ready to deliver and I just think the development is so darn cool.

      FWIW, none of my friends have babies and this is the first grandbaby on both sides.

      • Pregomama

        Oh, also, once pregnant, DH read the Mayo book, as well as a lot of stuff online and he was very actively engaged in the birth classes we took. He has absolutely NO baby experience but his overall philosophy is that caring for a baby can’t be that hard [difficult, sure, but “everyone else can do it”] –it’s the “raising it right” that’s the big challenge :)

    • NYC

      I wouldn’t start with the fertility sites and books right away unless you’ve been trying for a few months and/or are over the age of 35. It will just stress you out unnecessarily. Just have sex at roughly the right time (my doctor said on days 12, 14, and 16 after you get your period). And enjoy this time with your partner before pregnancy and baby issues consume your body and brain. Go out dancing. Drink wine outdoors. Stay up late talking about nothing. Etc.

      Once you are pregnant, I highly recommend the alpha mom calendar. Hilarious and really fun. The baby center forums were too crazy for me. http://alphamom.com/pregnancy-calendar-overview/

      • NYC

        Oh yeah, I also think the Our Bodies, Ourselves pregnancy/baby book is a good one to read before you are pregnant.

    • Sarabeth

      Altdotlife (online forum) is not specifically a TTC/pregnancy site, but that’s a significant part of the content and the atmosphere is very different from Babycenter, etc.

  6. European

    Reporting back on my speech at the recruiting event: I kept my calm despite being nervous and it went really well! Students came up to me afterwards telling me I gave them a good impression of our firm and the managing partner told me I was great. Yay!

  7. Ashley

    That bag makes me think old fashioned doctors bag. Or bowling bag. Could just be me, though.

  8. Gym bag?

    I am absolutely certain this has been discussed on here before ad nauseum, but my searches are failing. Any recommendations for gym bags in the under-$100 range? I don’t need anything massive, but need to be able to bring water bottle and workout clothes to work and bring work clothes and shoes and coat in the winter home from the gym. Also, I’d love something with a second compartment to fit my lunch bag and coffee mug.

    I haven’t worked out regularly in YEARS and just started classes this week. Hoping to stick with it! Thanks in advance.

  9. zora

    well I am now spending a second day sitting in airports, and still have at least 3 hours before my last flight. I am so bored! will anyone tell me funny stories, or post links to funny things to keep me entertained? any other tips for killing time in the airport?

    • NOLA

      Ha ha. Wish we could chat. Sooooo much to tell you! And it would make you laugh.

      Have you looked at the gigantic fall InStyle? That would keep you occupied for awhile.

      • k-padi

        Me too! oh zora, you would not believe what I’m going through! Suffice it to say, but I’m thinking of waking up at 5am tomorrow on the slimmest of chances I might get some perspective!

    • Avodah

      Easier said than done, but I like to use time like that to pay bills, throw $20 at my student loans, organize my inbox, send an email to a friend, call my grandma, update my Amazon WishList. That or I look at pictures of cute cats… :)

    • Nonny

      Oh my goodness. I thought you were just going from DC to SF? How come the sitting around for two whole days?

    • Brant

      Depends on the airport. When I’m stranded in Chicago (happens more than I care to talk about), wander the airport for all my favorite restaurants. Pinkberry and Frontera are basically a mile apart, so when I have time to kill, I wander. I also always take the stairs, figuring I can get some exercise in.

      If you’ve done all that and STILL need something to do, I plug in and watch netflix. Again, airport specific, but if you can make your way to a southwest terminal OR if there are swanky starbucks stores, you can get a comfy chair with a power outlet. (also- always travel with a power strip. People will love you and you can always get power!)

      • zora

        Thanks for all of these ideas!! I was hoping to avoid getting out the computer, since the battery is pretty old, but I guess I’ve given up. Organizing my inbox is a really good idea.

        Yeah, Nonny, I was SUPPOSED to be out of DC to SF last night. but flights have been CRAZY. Also, working for a nonprofit means i don’t get to fly nonstop :o(. I got delayed twice last night, until i had missed all possible connections to SF, so they rebooked me for this morning. Luckily my family lives in VA, so they picked me up and I had a nice dinner and stayed over last night. But now, I’ve had all my flights delayed all day long and feel like i’ve been in airports for a thousand years, like some kind of Rip Van Winkle.

        I really feel bad for any one trying to get in or out of Philly, apparently one of their air traffic control towers was hit by lightening (!!) and there have been NO flights going in or out of Philly for hours now. So crazy! Thanks for keeping me entertained. ;o)

        Any one have any funny/horrible business trip travel stories?

        • NOLA

          Not business travel, but last Christmas, my flight was cancelled after the incoming flight had problems with landing gear. I was flying from Charlotte through Atlanta to N.O. We all lined up to change our flights and the two people at the front of the line both spent an hour and a half at the desk and monopolized the counter for the whole time and we were dying to know what was so complicated. I went downstairs to retrieve my luggage and overheard one of the guys talking about how they were just going to Atlanta! Those of us in the line bonded in a) wanting to kill these people; b) sharing our misery about what we were going to miss (one woman missed a connection to the UK); c) wanting to just sit!

        • zora

          I did finally manage to score a seat with a plug, so I could just watch TV now to pass the time. But these other ideas are so awesome and creative! I never think of things like that ;o)

          On another note, the mad max style battle over power outlets here today has been kind of hilarious!

        • Gail the Goldfish

          Not business travel, but I have, on multiple occasions, had to land in a totally different city than my intended destination due to either weather or missed connections. I was once on a plane diverted to an entirely different country for a medical emergency on the flight, which resulted in having to deplane and spend the night because upon landing, the wheel popped due to the weight of the fuel (and it was not like a fun town to be stuck in overnight. It was the middle of nowhere). I once missed a flight out of JFK because of the subway line I was on to get to the airport was shut down due to a suicide. In short, I apparently have terrible luck flying. I consider it a good flight if I get there within a 2 hour window of my estimated arrival.

      • Lady Harriet

        My best friend and I were stuck waiting in O’Hare for 6 hours flying back from our college roommate’s wedding. I have flown through O’Hare many, many times, but this was her first time there. We made a tour of the entire airport, including visiting every one of the bookstores. It was fun to show her some of the things that I was used to (the dinosaur, the underground hallway with the neon ceiling) and we even discovered some parts I hadn’t seen before. My favorite new thing was an indoor garden on the second floor with lots of comfy chairs around. It was clearly a favorite spot for those in the know, since every seat was taken by airline employees!

    • House of Slytherin

      The mouse story above reminded me of the time a snake wandered into my building. Now, we’re in R&D so it’s not a conventional office and the space has a slightly industrial feel. I got a (very long) broom and started pushing the (small Garter) snake towards the outside door with it. (The snake kept striking at the broom which was a little freaky.) One of my co-workers came by and suggested I kill it. It’s one of the few times I’ve played the girl-card at work but I told him he could kill it. (He couldn’t do it either, but claimed his wife would have been up to the job.)

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Talk to strangers. I have met some really cool people in airports. Sit at a bar and if you don’t want booze, just get a seltzer and lime and leave a tip. The bartender won’t care you are taking a seat. Chat people up there until you get bored and then hit the next bar. Also, wander. I’ve discovered some gems in some airports. Many have mini spas. They are overpriced but a massage and pedicure probably sounds really good about now. Depending on the length of your delay, if there is a hotel connected to your airport you could see if they have a special rate for using the gym and shower. You could create an airport scavenger hunt. Make a list of 20 things you are likely to see in an airport and then time yourself to see how long it takes you to find them. Many airports have a chapel. You could go pray/meditate. I’ve never been to one but always have meant to poke in. Could you buy a pass to a lounge?

      If you are super daring, make a sign that says “free hugs” or “free high fives” or “bored, talk to me.” Could make for a good story. Also, try posting on the comment section of popular websites asking if anyone else is stuck and if so to come visit you in terminal x. I was reading a blog I follow once and a guy and a girl ended up having drinks after they both commented that they were stuck in the airport.

      • Cali CPA

        Last time I was waiting around at an airport, someone found me on OKCupid and asked what terminal I was at! We tried to meet up, but reception was so bad he didn’t get my last message until it was time to board. I always thought that would have made a great story.

        Until then though, I didn’t realize you could search OKCupid by location. It is a little creepy.

    • Herbie

      Zora, download a Reddit app. In addition to the front page, I recommend /r/aww. Enjoy!

  10. Gov anon

    I’m having a horrendous day in a horrendous week. But every time I look at the green shoes I’m wearing I’m happy for a minute.

  11. Advice

    My sister who is in the middle of a nasty divorce has an old high school friend who got into some legal trouble with drugs. Long story short is he took a plea deal of some kind and is going to be sentenced soon. She wants to write a character letter for his sentencing about how long she’s known him and what a good person he’s always been. She was of course not even remotely involved in any of this guy’s alleged misdeeds and knew nothing of it, but they do know each other for 15 years and she has never known him to be anything but a decent guy and would like to help out. I don’t think her soon to be ex will ever find out and she is not a lawyer so I don’t think this can reflect badly on her in some professional way but as the big sister I am just being overly cautious and wondering if there’s any harm to her from writing this letter. Am I right to be concerned or just paranoid?

    • Jo March

      I’m not a family lawyer but I am a criminal lawyer, so take with a grain of salt.

      In my jurisdiction, I can’t imagine how her ex or his lawyer would find out about this. As a non-party in the criminal litigation, her ex should not have access to the exhibits unless he is in court when it is submitted. So I think she should be fine.

      But TBK is definitely right that she should check with her divorce lawyer.

    • Anon

      Does your sister have kids? Once concern I could see is that her ex get a hold of the letter (at least in my state, sentencings are open hearings and are recorded, so if he knew about this it would be easy for him to get a copy of the recording) and make some aclaim that she is an unfit mother because she associates with drug users. Whether or not that holds any weight with her divorce judge, I don’t know.

      Also, has she spoken/hung around with her friend any time recently? If she is just going to say, back when we hung out 15 years ago he was a nice guy–that is not really relevant to what is going on now and may open her up to accusations without any real reward for her friend.

      But I agree with TBK she should run it by her divorce lawyer.

      • Advice

        She does have a child. But she says that she doesn’t need to run it by lawyer because my BIL has no way of knowing about this or connecting it to her and all she is saying anyway is he’s a nice guy who once rescued a puppy or something along those lines. Yes, this is an old friend who wasn’t in her life much recently. I agree that any impact from her letter might be minimal at best, but she wants to be supportive and I don’t blame her for wanting to be a good friend. I’m going to push her some more to talk to her lawyer about this first, but would appreciate any other thoughts from the hive. I think it’s a federal case so not sure if that means it’s going to be public or not public.

        • Sydney Bristow

          I might still be concerned because even though BIL might not be able to find it his divorce lawyer might.

        • Senior Attorney

          I think she’s nuts to not run it by her lawyer. And the fact that she is reluctant to do so tells me her gut is telling her it might be a problem.

          • eek

            I agree. Also, as much as she wants to be a good friend, she’s a parent and I think her kid comes first (not an adult that arguably knew the consequences) and get through the divorce. Some crazy things happen and it’s not impossible the soon to be ex would find out.

    • Anon

      Agreed about checking with her divorce lawyer. Also, there is a possibility that the character letter (as part of a larger sentencing memorandum) would be publicly filed. Not sure if/how that would be able to be found by her soon-to-be ex, but just a thought.

  12. Famouscait

    For some reason, in my Feedly, the photo associated with this post is of a Golden Retriever laying on a rug in what looks like a kitchen.

    The purse is great, but a Golden will get me any time.

  13. AnonymousLawGrad

    My friends and I were talking today about how we would ideally change legal education. One of my friends supports reducing law school to two years. Another likes the idea of three years, but would make the third year an apprenticeship. They both would prefer to keep law a grad degree because they believe that is the best way to keep down the number of applicants.

    Personally, I would have preferred law school to be an undergraduate degree. I was a STEM major with zero interest in patent law and still get annoyed when I think of wasting four years’ worth of tuition on something that I didn’t need for my career. Money was very tight in my family, and that unnecessary four years’ of undergrad classes always seemed to me to unfairly favor the wealthy. To reduce the oversupply of lawyers, I’d simply impose minimum LSAT requirements for entrance to law programs: you have to score at least a 15[x], for example. You could reduce the oversupply without penalizing students who have trouble affording 7 years of school.

    How would y’all change law school?

    • TBK

      1) Two years plus one year apprenticeship (paid, but at a low salary)
      2) Bar exam is not required if you graduate with a minimum GPA from an accredited law school.
      3) You may take the bar exam without having a JD (the old fashioned “reading the law”).

      • Anonymous

        In NY, you can do this with 1 year of law school + some amount of experience. I know one person who did it this way. I imagine unless you had a pretty solid job lined up or had amazing connections, this would be a tough way to do it.

      • LH

        In theory, I like this idea of 2 years of law school +1 year of minimally paid internship seems appealing although I’m not sure it would work in practice. Would an internship be guaranteed? I don’t see how it could be, especially given the current economic climate. I have a big problem making a degree contingent on one’s ability to obtain a job. At least under the current model, if you pass your classes, graduate and are able to pass the bar (all things essentially within your control) you are a lawyer and can hang out your own shingle if you want (I know quite a few people who did this shortly after passing the bar – with varying degrees of success). The idea that a certain percentage of law students will not become lawyers just because they’re not able to get an internship bothers me. Maybe give students the option of doing an internship or a third year of classes? I suppose the choice could be effectively removed if all employers preferred one option over the other but I feel like it might be split – seems like firms might prefer the 3rd year of school but govt/non-profits might like the internship?

        • Woods-comma-Elle

          We have a two-year apprenticeship in Englande and there is no guarantee you will get one. You go to law school and apply for for the apprenticeship either before you start (and if it is a big firm you get your fees paid) or you start and hope for the best. Law schools will take pretty much anyone but there are fewer apprenticeship places than law school places so people inevitably end up without one. So it’s not an ideal system. That said, based on conversations with friends in the US, law school here is way more practical and of you want to do the academic side, you can do undergraduate law. For me now as a lawyer it is easy to get a trainee to learn the law but it is way better if they know how o draft letter or contracts etc a bit.

          • Woods-comma-Elle

            Also, I didn’t find the US bar exam structure that hard to get to grips with because the form of questions was exactly what was taught in law school so I just had to memorise the law, whereas it seems not all US law schools really teach you the skills to pass the bar which seems odd since that is the ultimate aim.

        • Anon

          Or maybe something similar to what my law school did–3rd years had to work in the clinic. There were all kinds of cases–mostly serving “underrepresented” people for a small fee. So this way, there was guaranteed work in the Clinic, but still the very real, yet supervised representation of clients.

      • just Karen

        #2 is how Wisconsin does it – take the required classes from one of their two law schools, get decent grades, and pass character and fitness and you’re in without having to sit for an exam.

    • Anne Shirley

      I wouldn’t. I would change what paralegals can do, which I think would reduce demand for crappy law schools. I think the education I got at a top school was worth every painful penny, and so was my undergraduate degree. I would in no way have been intellectually ready for law school without those 4 years.

    • AnonBK

      INAL but professional degrees =/= undergraduate degrees for a reason, not least of which is maturity level. I think the JD would be seriously devalued if it was an alternative to regular undergraduate schooling and not considered as being somewhat alongside the MDs MAs and PhDs of the world.

        • Mpls

          It would be a Bachelors of Law, like other countries have – you just major in law as an undergrad, instead of it being a graduate degree.

    • R

      I am not a lawyer. But as someone with very limited financial resources in high school/ undergrad (and even fewer resources to point me to aid programs beyond fafsa), I did not even consider anything that required graduate degrees or advanced schooling to begin working and receiving a paycheck.

      I don’t know that equity should drive the distinction between undergrad and grad, but do think it’s a valid point that seven years of schooling tends to favor the wealthy.

      • LH

        A graduate degree in science or engineering will not cost money and you will get paid (a little) while you go to school. Your point still applies as to law/medicine/business (although at least for law schools, there are some schools, including some pretty good ones, that give merit-based financial aid up to 100% of the cost of attendance) but I just wanted to point out that not all advanced schooling is a big financial investment.

        • Nonny

          LH is right about not all advanced schooling requiring a big financial investment, particularly since, in my experience at least, many of the people I went to law school with had paid most of their undergrad fees with scholarship money, so their first degree didn’t cost them much at all. Mind you, that is in Canada, not the US.

    • Equity's Darling

      I’m okay with the currenty 4+3 and Canada already has a one year (usually-paid) apprenticeship period, and I sometimes wish it had been a bit longer because that one year was invaluable.

      • Nonny

        Yup, in total agreement. I really don’t think most people are ready to become lawyers at 22…having law as a second degree just brings some added maturity to the mix. Having practiced both in Canada and in the UK, I think an apprenticeship is absolutely invaluable, and with all due respect to all you fine lawyers in the US, I’m not sure how you train lawyers properly without one. If I had my way, though, I’d change the Canadian system to 2 years law school, 2 years articling (similar to the UK system), rather than the 3 + 1 that it is now.

        Interestingly, Ontario is trying out a system right now where people can become lawyers by doing additional course work and writing an exam rather than articling, but everyone I’ve talked to about it regards it as the less desirable option and seems to take the view that the people who follow that route will be those who aren’t hired as articling students. I guess we’ll have to see what happens over the next few years.

  14. Midi Dresses

    I’m 5’4” with short legs but like the midi trend. I think it can be really sexy in an understated way if the dress is a little body conscious.

    My question is, can I wear this without looking frumpy? It looks great on models, but they all have loonnnnggg legs!

    • Nonny

      I’m the same height as you and LOVE the midi trend. To avoid frumpiness, I focus on wearing a fitted top so it doesn’t look like I’m hiding behind vast swathes of fabric, and always heels. The heels help create the illusion of additional height.

      • Blair Waldorf

        Yes! Short women can do this too!

        I agree with Nonny- definitely wear a fitted top, or a top that you tie at the bottom so it is a clear separation between the top and skirt (if it’s a midi skirt).

        For dresses, try to pair it with a cropped jacket or a fitted vest or a belt, something to break it up. And definitely heels or boots with heels.

        Finally, I’ve had to hem some of the midi-length purchases I’ve made. There’s a certain spot a midi length dress should hit – ideally a few inches below the knee. This can really elongate anyone’s legs if it’s done properly, but too long and it makes legs look stumpy. So don’t be afraid to tailor it to make it perfect for your body!

        • AIMS

          This! I also love the look and it’s definitely all about proportion. I usually do a fitted top, tucked in, and heels.

  16. Clothes Spreadsheet

    Hi, can someone please email me the outfit tracker spreadsheet that has been discussed on here before? My email address is erinashleen at gmail. Thank you!

    • Orangerie

      I created the spreadsheet and have given my email address out in previous threads. It’s orangerie09 at gmail (that’s a zero before the 9).

  17. This will also out me

    Funny story. Read a federal pleading today that was filed several years ago. There was a serious typo in the first paragraph. When the attorney wrote Counts I, II and III, he left the “o” out of Counts. Write it out. Poor guy.

  18. salt

    Anyone in hospital risk management? Can you give me some info on what you do on a daily basis/the background of you and your colleagues?

  20. SD

    For UK readers, might I suggest Edith Shoulder Bag from LK Bennett ? I love it (fits folders and shoes and looks smart too) – can’t find the link now but you should be able to google it

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