ByKat Hours Updated
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Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Shawl Collar Sweater

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. LIMITED Shawl Collar SweaterStripes have been enjoying a resurgence for years now, but I still really like this shawl collar sweater — it's the perfect thing to make a structured sheath dress feel cozier, and would look great with just about every bottom I can think of. It was $59.90, but is marked to $35.94 today at The Limited in stripes and plain gray. Shawl Collar Sweater Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2) (N.B. In addition to 40% off all sweaters, The Limited has a B1G1 deal for jackets/pants/skirts — a great time to stock up on suits.)

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

195 Comments

  1. Really cute sweater from the front, but the back view is less good. I think those horizontal strips on your rear end could be very unfortunate.

    1. Yeah, that not be flattering on me, especially since the white stripes are designed to draw the eye. They also have it in solid grey (charcoal) that looks like an excellent basic.

      1. “WOULD not be flattering” “A solid grey”

        Clearly I need some coffee…

    2. Unrelated to this sweater, what is with the recent trend to do something completely different on the front of tops than the back? The Limited is really guilty of this. There are a lot of tops that are really cute from the front with one fabric and then a totally different fabric for the back. I feel like it means I always have to wear something over it to cover the back.

      1. I have a friend who hates it and refuses to buy anything that has a different front and back, whether it’s pattern, fabric, whatever. I don’t always mind it, if it looks intentional, but like most trends there are just so many cheap/badly constructed versions out there.

        1. This! I don’t mind if it’s an intentional design feature, but I think a lot of clothes have the different backs because it’s cheaper to make than having the cute/more expensive fabric that’s on the front. Those really annoy me.

      2. Free People is so bad about this. Love their funky cardigans but don’t want a giant animal or flowers on the back.

      3. Agreed. I really hate this trend, just like I hate tops and dresses that are much longer in the back than the front. I don’t understand the trend, and I certainly don’t understand why it refuses to die.

        1. The dresses and skirts that are much longer in the back look great when the wearer is walking and the skirt or dress floats around her. It also shows great movment when dancing. Then again, I am a fan of fabric that billows around a person when walking.

        2. They’re also great for those of us who have enough junk in the trunk that regular dresses/tops end up shorter in the back.

      4. I agree that manufacturing cost is a huge factor but another reason is fit. Tops with nicer fabrics on the front often have backs made out of jersey or other fabrics with more give so that they fit a wider range of body shapes and proportions. This means more sales so of course it all ties back to the profit motive. I don’t mind this for cheaper, trendy items but more upscale and expensive brands have started doing this and it really irks me.

        1. As someone with a a bust that is disproportionately large to the rest of my body, I LOVE higher end tops with silk or other fabric fronts and jersey backs. It’s the only way they fit without either smashing my breasts or being huge everywhere else. It’s one of my favorite things that I am seeing happen, and I don’t think I should be relegated to cheap cr*p just because I have a large bust, so I’m happy that nicer brands are doing this and I don’t have to pay to alter EVERY SINGLE blouse or shell.

    3. The rayon-nylon blend is likely to pill. Even though it’s not a super expensive item, I’d look for a cotton blend to wear better.

      1. Does anyone have any idea how well similar Limited items wear? Or any suggestions for a similar cut sweater (preferably solid color) that isn’t likely to pill?

  2. Are these shoes too juvenile looking for work with tights?

    http://www.zappos.com/aldo-dinkens?zfcTest=fcl%3A3

    I love wearing tights with skirts and dresses in the winter, but I’ve had one-too-many incidents of my shoes slipping (or, ahem, flying) off my feet when I walk. Thoughts on these? Also – any commentary on the Aldo brand? I’ve never worn their shoes before. Thanks!

    1. Aldo shoes are not the best quality in the world, but they’re pretty decent. I find their shoes last me about a year or so, worn every day at the office. They usually have a reasonably low wedge shoe that works for me for work, about $70. I do often need to add an insole (either one of their terrycloth inserts or a Dr Scholls gel one) to make the shoe fit, but that’s a sizing issue – their size 6 is a teeny bit too big for me. I don’t think I’ve ever worn their heels.

    2. The strap and lack of heel reminds me of the shoes that little girls wear to church. I would definitely try them on with a variety of outfits to see how they look in person. You could also try heel inserts or insoles with other shoes to help them fit better. Talk to a cobbler if diy isn’t working.

    3. They do have a teeny bit of a schoolgirl vibe but I think the almond toe and no-patent-leather keeps them looking appropriate for adults. I really like them but have no experience with whether this brand is comfortable

    4. I like them, but, as others have said, it might look a little school girl, especially with tights and a dress. Personally, I think they’d only work with pencil/ankle length pants. They are really cute, but they look terribly similar to shoes I wore in 3rd grade.
      Also, every pair of shoes I’ve had from ALDO have required significant breaking in and caused blisters/sore heels for at least the first few wears. Just proceed with caution.

      1. I think they would be cute like this, with the ankle length slacks. For me, that is the only way i might consider wearing flats to work.

      2. Agree on the breaking in, but once I’ve gotten them broken in, Aldo actually fits me better than a lot of brands. I have a narrow heel, and I think they tend to run a little narrow, if that helps.

    5. They aren’t my personal style, but I do think they’d be totally appropriate for the office. Aldo is ok….not the best quality but decent.

    6. ive seen tstrap flats all over the place! i dont think they look schoolgirl, i think you would look very now. At least give them a try on!! ;o)

    7. A word about Aldo: every single pair of shoes I have ever purchased from them has been uncomfortable beyond belief. Including a pair of quite innocuous looking patent leather nude flats.
      I have since banned Aldo from my life. I refuse, no matter how inexpensive or adorable (often they are both).

      I do like the shoe style quite a bit, but I suggesting trying to find something similar from a different brand.

      1. +1 – I’ve heard others say Aldo shoes are comfortable, but I’ve stopped shopping there because they always end up hurting my feet.

    8. I think they are cute, but more with pants.

      How about boots with your tights and skirt?

  3. Any tips for dealing with a *#&@^$ client? Said client is mid-50s, sexist, racist and arrogant. Yesterday he basically called me stupid and hung up on me. He also speaks a foreign language around me, thinking I don’t know what he’s saying. I took that language in HS and can understand enough…

    I really let his attitude get to me in the middle of an otherwise already rough day (that got worse). I’ve been around and should know better than to internalize this stuff, but sometimes that’s easier said than done. Not looking to confront him or anything, just manage to be around him. I’ll have to spend a few days with him next week. Thanks!

    1. Ugh, I have a client/channel partner that’s just like that. Except add to the mix that he likes to yell at his employees while on the phone with me, never returns email, denies things said (and documented) ever happened, etc.

      Just a huge PITA and everyone knows it. Suggesting coping mechanisms:
      – if you’re on the phone with him, put the phone down during a rant. You can also slap on a headset and walk around the office/grab a coffee while he’s chewing you out or waxing on about something offensive. It’ll take your mind off things.

      – if you’re in person, and what he’s saying isn’t important, start taking “diligent notes.” By which I mean make to-do lists, write haikus, etc.

      – find a trusted coworker with which to vent. My boss also has to deal with my particular awful vendor/partner, so we like to call one another after a bad call and just b!tch about what an @ss this guy is.

      -find someone in your life you can liken him to. In my case, I pretend it’s my obnoxious drunken uncle. You can only say so much about family….

    2. In my experience, making lewd/obscene hand gestures while on the phone, usually helps. So does wishing terrible things upon the client (one time, while being chewed out by a client from his cell phone while he was exiting a taxi, I closed my eyes and imagined him stepping out of the cab and promptly being mowed over by a bus, Regina George style).

      1. +1

        VERY different scenario, but this reminds me of when I worked in food service. When I was working as a barrista, my manager told us “Your job is to make sure these people get their coffee and danish or whatever and that they enjoy it. It is not to suffer abuse or harassment.” While being a barista and a lawyer are very different, I think the principle is the same. No one should have to tolerate sexism and verbal abuse. I would be sure to keep records of everything in case it escalates to the point where you need to involve your supervisor.

    3. Try to always have a colleague on calls with you or in meetings with you and Mr. Jerk Client. You need to have a “witness” to his bad behavior. Document everything. If it gets really bad, don’t hesitate to reach out to your boss for guidance. Nobody deserves sexist comments and outright verbal abuse.

  4. It’s freshers week at my university and yikes, serious 90s revival. I think I was a bit too young for it the first time and am way too old for it now.

    1. But flannel….it’s so cozy!

      Dying to recreate my Clueless-era outfits of knee socks and plaid skirts, but think it won’t look as cute on a 30-something as it did on a middleschooler, back in the day. (Photographic evidence suggests that, in fact, it never looked that cute).

      Mostly I am concerned about the resurgence of bare midriffs (username notwithstanding; Buffy sure did love her crop tops).

    2. I’m hearing that 90s are in again, but haven’t seen much of it. What, in particular? I’m just saying, if it’s wearing a flannel over everything (because, seriously, I swear we put one over EVERYTHING), I think I could get behind that. Sure, they weren’t as cute as a nice cardigan, but they were certainly comfy.

      1. Lace up boots; baby doll dresses; lace up boots with said baby doll dresses; yes, flannel over everything; shorts and tights, esp. with keds or the aforementioned lace up boots; dirty hair; looser jeans; more flannel.

      2. They sure were! I still have one of dh’s flannel shirts (Eddie Bauer – great quality and no pilling) that I wear when I’m sick or just need extra comfy-ness. Usually wear over a t-shirt and yoga pants. Ultimate comfy outfit! Makes dh laugh when he sees me in it. It’s the oldest clothing item in my closet.

        1. Mr. has a hoodie I appropriate on similar occasions. Stealing your male SO’s clothes are a definite plus of being in a relationship!

        2. Sadly, my SO doesn’t have a flannel shirt and doesn’t wear hoodies. However, I’m planning to take full advantage of the ’90s resurgence by buying a nice oversized flannel shirt for nursing this winter. It will be rad, man.

      3. Neon EVERYTHING. Muscle tanks on women. Those sunglasses with the black front and neon-colored ear pieces. High-waisted, pleated shorts.

        I work at a university. The 90’s are everywhere right now, and it’s not any more attractive this go-round than it was initially. But perhaps all the neon gives them safety points when they’re jaywalking through traffic to reach the bus stop?

        1. Honestly, I am LOVING the neon everything trend. It makes me very happy. And when they manage to make it work appropriate (I’ve seen a few successful examples), it’s even more awesome.

        2. Um, as someone who has strong memories of having to negotiate with my parents to get neon green socks in grade 5, wasn’t neon more of an ’80s thing? Or maybe it stuck around and I had grown out of it at that point?

          1. I’d say late 80s, early 90s. I’m thinking Fresh Prince, Saved By the Bell era, before we discovered grunge.

            Also, 5th grade and multiple layers of different neon colored socks, over my stirrup pants but under my high top sneakers (which I’d never admit were too tight and hot due to all of the socks), topped off with a t-shirt held to the side with one of those shirt-slide things. I lived for the shirt-slide things. Ahh, memories.

          2. Wow, you were stylin’. I wasn’t allowed to wear those things. The neon socks were the trendiest my parents would allow.

        3. Yeah I’m seeing a lot of the neon at the gym. Mostly the yellow green.

          Other than that, I haven’t noticed big trends in fashion on campus. It’s way too hot for flannel here!

          1. My work attire is pretty muted for the most part, so when I go to the gym I am all bright color! I realized the other day that in my hot pink tank, grey and neon green shorts and orange/red Nikes that I looked like I was going to a rave.

      4. I’m seeing the kids in baby doll dress, high waisted short shorts, flowing flowered tank tops, doc martin (the only yay), blossom-approved floppy hats . . . So far none of the gothy 90s stuff.

    3. At colleges it looks like a lot of the girls are rocking the kelly kapowski– high waisted jorts, crop top. le sigh.

      1. I was out the other day getting ice cream and I saw the miraculous ONE woman (other than Kelly Kapowski herself) who looked amazing in that look (to be fair, they were high waisted jeggings but the effect was the same.) I flat out stared. I thought it was a myth, really, but she looked great. But I’m fairly certain she’s the exception that proves the rule or some such.

        I honestly thought about trying to sneak a picture, but thought that would be rude when she was just trying to get her ice cream.

  5. Any recommendations for a pomade-like hair product that 1) can tame flyaways at the top of my head and 2) isn’t very oily?

    I’ve been using Pureology Dryshine for years and I LOVE it, but it seems that they have stopped making it. It used to be ~$20, and now it’s gone up to $70 on Amazon due to what I assume is lack of supply.

    1. John Frieda Secret Weapon? It’s more of a cream so it may not have enough structure if you are trying to do more than tame some flyaways.

      1. Will totally give this a try. I have very straight hair and don’t do any styling so it’s just the flyaways. Thanks!

    3. Have you tried a paste? I have a pixie and use some kind of designed-for-teenage-boys paste that I get from Amazon. Blowdry a bit, smear it into your hair, tweak it a little once it’s dry, and bingo.

  6. Ladies – I cannot decide whether to pull the trigger on the fall tweed jacket from WHBM. On one hand, it seems like a great piece to wear with black pants or a black skirt, on the other, I get this weird 80/early 90s vibe from it. I think it’s because I recently saw a picture of Princess Diana from late 80s in something similarly cut (different color). Link to follow in separate comment.

    One more question: is it worth it getting the matching skirt (assuming I can find my size) or should I just go for the jacket. I need to decide today as they are having 25% off full price. Thanks!

      1. Pull the trigger on the jacket! You can wear it with a black pencil skirt or pants for work and jeans on the weekends.

    2. I don’t get as much of an 80s/90s vibe, I think because the shoulders are smaller and the cut is a bit narrower. Also, the panels/zippers toughen it up a bit. I really like it!

      I’m not a fan of the full skirt and jacket combo, but I would wear the two as separates.

    4. I say yes to both. Tweed suits serve me well in the winter with thin sweaters and boots.

      1. Thanks everyone. I pulled the trigger in the jacket. The skirt was soldout in my size, so I ordered a size up just to see, but honestly I think I may just stick to the jacket.

  7. Ladies, a threadjack, if you will…

    A couple of years ago, I attended an informational seminar for my dream grad school and fell in love with it now. The school’s representative gave me her contact information in case I wanted to ask her any more questions, except life happened and I never did follow up, although a good friend did apply to and get accepted into the same school.

    And now I want to apply to this school, except I have no clue how to word the email. How does one request an informational interview? Do I bring up my friend since I gave her the rep’s address? Do I explain why it’s taken so long for me to follow up?

    TIA!

    1. Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! Kat, I love Fruegel Friday’s and this sweater, tho I would be schvitzeing if I wore it yesterday! I supose it’s for the winter, right? And I would have to wear a cami so that Frank would NOT be stareing at me. FOOEY on his stareing!

      As for the OP, you should just copy and paste what you said here. Say you want to take some classe’s and you would like to come in and talk about it. NO more, no less. As for your freind, unless you need to use her name, I would NOT, unless your freind is doeing real well there and is current on her bills to the school.

      Willem invited me to go with him to some sort of Swanky affair his bank is holdeing at the Barcleay’s center next month. There is goeing to be a dinner, black tie for men, and I guess I will wear a black skirt with Ann Taylor shoe’s, and then there is some kind of concert to follow. Willem say’s he will have a car to drive me home b/c it will be late and he will not want to come uptown. I wonder—is this right? Should he not take me back home in the car to my place–he can alway’s stay in the car but I do NOT want to be in a car with some guy late at night driveing me back from BROOEKELYN and over the bridge after midnite. I do NOT know my way around and the guy I will NOT know. I think Willem should NOT just put me in a car after midnite and tell some driver (who could be from a 3rd world country) to drive me into Manahattan all by myself. And some of them are kind of skuzzy, especialy those that work the night shift, no? FOOEY!

      Am I paranoid? What does the HIVE think? I will follow your advise on this, but do NOT want to aleinate Willem if I should be abel to trust the driver. In any event, I have a decent weekend planned. I go home tonite with Myrna, eat with Mom and Dad, spend a day with all of them in tempel tomorrow, and then drive back with Myrna Saturday night, and go to a musuem on Sunday with Myrna. Sam tried to tag along, but I said NO b/c I want to spend time with Myrna. YAY!!!!!

    2. What is it you want out of the meeting? I guess I’m a little confused by the fact you say you’d like an informational interview. It’s the school rep’s job to get people interested in the school. So it’s not like she’d be doing you a favor in meeting with you — she’d be doing her job. Are you still unsure if you want to apply to the program? If so, I’d just say that you met a couple of years ago and are thinking that now might be the right time for you to go back to school, but you’d just like to talk a little more about the program before applying and does she have some time to meet.

      Or are you sure this is what you want and you’re hoping that by reaching out you might improve your chances of getting accepted? I think the same approach works (whether the meeting will be helpful or not might depend on how much interaction this person has with the admissions people — but admissions people LOVE high yields, so I could see the advantage in showing interest in the school).

      I don’t see what your friend has to do with anything. What am I missing?

      1. I attended an informational meeting for potential applicants, and the school’s rep loved me and was connected to the admissions office and I received a full scholarship, so I wouldn’t discount that the rep does have some pull.

        I think you could just mention (a) you found the previous info session really helpful and (b) now that you are ready to apply, would love to hear more! and then be prepared to talk about your hopes and dreams and plans for how the school fits into the plan.

    3. Wow, I get an Ellen reply? Yay me! :)

      TBK and Shanebot, thanks for the replies. I should explain that in my country the education system is very different, there’s no real concept of an admissions rep or anything, so I was floundering a little on how my email to her should sound. TBK, your script is a great jumping-off point so thank you!

      And now that I think about it… does anyone have any suggestions for questions I should ask about grad school? Like I said above, very different systems of education so if y’all have any suggestions of what you wished you’d known about before making the decision to apply, that would be great.

  8. SO. Peed on a stick this morning. I am just about 4 weeks pregnant with #2. We’re not telling anyone yet but I had to share with someone.

    The cramping the past day or two has been unBEARABLE. Had to lay down for an hour yesterday and haven’t been able to focus on anything all morning. This is going to be GREAT for my job. Wish I could take Advil, that damned acetominophin does nothing for me.

    2. No idea if this will cook the baby or something, but a hot water bottle or hearing pad works just as well as Advil for me- I use the stick on ones at work.

      2. I actually hear heat is bad on a baby. That’s why a lot of babies move away from an ultrasound during an exam.

        1. At four weeks, it’s still too small to feel heat. I wouldn’t worry about a hot water bottle.

          1. It’s not just “feeling” the heat, like they don’t like it, it’s actually bad for their development. Some people think that exposing babies to heat through unnecessary ultrasounds is why wealthier women who get “extra” ultrasounds have higher incidences of autism.

    4. My ob/gyn told me Advil is fine, just that improbably shouldn’t take the max daily dose.

      2. This. I was told that advil is fine during the first and second tri. Obviously, check with your doc if you want, but there’s something about it that’s not great at the end but not a problem at the beginning.

    7. Congrats! I have no helpful suggestions on what is/isn’t safe during pregnancy, but hope you feel better soon!

  9. I really like the idea of this sweater with a sheath dress. I have a similar style sweater – I might have to try it with my fav black sheath! Looking forward to the new idea – Thanks, Kat.

  10. this thing looks SUPER comfy. probably wouldnt wear to work, but w/ jeans on the weekend? mmm.

  11. Tesyaa’s comment about above the rayon-nylon being likely to pill brings up something for me- I know very little about different fabrics other than tech shirts are better for working out, and wool is warm, and silk is silky and a pain to care for….I would have never caught onto the rayon-nylon being likely to pill.

    I don’t know which materials are worth paying for, what kinds of stitching to watch out for (other than if I notice it pulling on the material, which is always a red flag for me), etc. Does anyone have any other info about materials that I should know? I can’t believe I don’t already have this knowledge, given the amount of clothing I own.

    1. My understanding is that pilling is really more related to the length of the fibers in the fabric than the fabric itself. Like cheap cashmere will tend to pill more than expensive cashmere because the cheap stuff is cheap because they used the cheap short cashmere fibers, while the longer hairs are more desirable and thus cost more.

      Since nylon and rayon are both processed polymer fibers (nylon is petroleum/coal based and rayon is wood based), the length of the fiber is probably most related to the extrusion process used to create the fiber. Cheaper processes will probably result in shorter fibers, more expensive fabrics will probably end up using longer fibers.

      The weave used will also affect the ability of the fibers to pill. Smooth woven fabrics are unlikely to pill, fuzzy knitted fabric are more likely to pill, since the fuzzy is a function of the shorter fibers sticking out from the yarn.

      TL;DR – I wouldn’t dismiss a certain fiber content out of hand (unless you just don’t want to deal with the care instructions), because so much of it depends on the processing.

      1. Agree with mpls – and it’s so hard to know about fabric quality without seeing and feeling it. I have 100% poly blouses from JCrew that are beautiful, and poly blouses from Target that I don’t expect to survive 5 wearings. It’s especially hard to know when looking at something online. UGH.

  12. Does anyone in DC have a cleaning service they recommend? I’m looking for someone that could clean a large 1 bedroom twice a month. Just clean floors, bathroom, kitchen, etc. No laundry or clothes duty.

    Thanks in advance!

    1. I know and have hired a woman (so not a service, though she works with a couple of others) who does a really great job, but she speaks very little english. If you speak any spanish, I could give you her number. I think she can usually find someone around who does speak more english, and my spanish is pretty basic, but I usually just communicate with her via text in spanish.

  13. Do you ever feel like you do everything right 99.999% of the time without anyone noticing, and then the one time you make the smallest, inconsequential mistake, you get called on it instantly?

    Yesterday I sent a very important email two important heads at my company. I spent so much time making sure that every word was perfect that I somehow didn’t put a subject line. Stupid error, I know. The email was still read immediately, the issues dealt with, etc. – but to make matters worse, one of the important people filled in the subject line of the ongoing email chain with a big messy typo.

    This morning, my boss called me out on it. “Just so you know, it’s helpful if you put clear subject lines in an email.” As though I didn’t know that. As though the thousands of other emails I sent have had unicorns and bunnies and knock-knock jokes as their subject lines. I apologized for the error. “Don’t worry,” she said, “As I tell my children – this is how you learn.” Is that condescending, or am I just being irritable? Really, I swear, I know the basics of email etiquette. AAAHH

    1. No, it’s not just you; that’s really condescending. It probably wasn’t meant that way, but it’s irritating.

    2. The way she phrased her comment comes across as condescending or at least inappropriate to me. She should not be seeing you as a child and herself as a teacher!

    3. That is rude. Salt in wounds. A while back I sent a client email and my team lead wrote back “that’s not what I would’ve written.” Of course that’s not what you would’ve written, you’re not me. Yet, she couldn’t articulate what she would’ve written. So sorry, I’m not going to unnecessarily look like a jerk on client e-mail traffic.

    4. Ugh, that is really condescending. Are you new at your job? If so, I imagine she is just trying to be helpful (unless she is the condescending type).

      I once had someone tell me that when I introduced myself to people I should really use my first and last name (which, yeah, obviously, but I think it might have been my first client meeting ever, I was nervous, and the client already knew my last name because I was copied on all the emails). Now I have a tendency to introduce myself as first-last name to people all the time, even in casual settings. Not weird at all.

      1. Not that new – but I did recently receive a major promotion after being an intern, and I think my boss is still figuring out what that means.

    5. Are you in Utah? Because I’ve heard this kind of patriarchal condescension masquerading as pedagogy a lot in this here territory.

      1. As a lifelong Utahn, I’ve only heard this kind of condescension from my actual mother or schoolteachers. Sorry my state has been rude to you :(

        Also, the fact that it’s a female boss makes me think maybe that’s not it. Sometimes I get the “fatherly” vibe from older male coworkers, but this is extra weird.

    6. No advice, just sympathy.

      I’m with those who think your boss didn’t mean to be condescending, even though the comment *is* condescending.

    7. Nope, condescending. You are right. BTW- for all the negative press about “Millennials” the behavior of the 45 and up crowd never ceases to amaze me… (No offense to ‘retters over 45!)

    8. If the email chain went on and on, could you have fixed the typo in one of your own replies?

      1. It was mostly other people replying. I was tempted to fix it, but then worried that might cause a snag if people later went searching for related messages. Only at work are these most ridiculously tiny/stupid/meaningless things so agonizing.

    1. A fitted cardigan or jacket that can be worn open. Have you considered wearing something under it instead of over it? Black and cream would both go with that color.

      1. +1 on something that hangs open. I also wanted to say that I love that dress! Both the cut and color are beautiful!

    2. What about a strand of colored beads or pearls. Then a shrunken v neck cardi. Worn with no bling, pockets, nor obvious trim. I can see that the contrast would be between the color of the cardi and then the structure of this pretty dress.

    3. How about a bolero in a color?

      I wouldn’t want a drapey cardigan, because then no one would see the beautiful waist in that dress.

  15. Does anyone else hate talking on the phone? I don’t mean making business calls, I mean talking on the phone to your best friend, boyfriend, mom (a mom who I love to spend time with; this isn’t an issue of we don’t get along), other people you like. I just wish I could communicate with people via email and in person. I hate the phone. It feels forced, stilted, boring. But I realize it’s necessary because important people in my life, like my boyfriend and mom, travel a lot and so I would only talk to them a couple times a week if we didn’t talk on the phone.

    I used to think I hate the phone because I’m an uber introvert, but I like seeing and hanging out with these people. So I don’t think that’s the reason for my phone aversion.

    Suggestions? Commiseration?

    1. I understand what you mean. As a fellow uber-introvert who relies pretty heavily on other people’s body language to understand what they really mean when we’re talking, the phone stresses me out because I can’t see them. That’s the main source of my discomfort, although a close second is that somehow smartphones still have terrible call sound quality and I have a really hard time understanding some people on the phone.

      1. Yes, I feel the same way about needing to see body language. Glad to know I am not the only one!

      2. This. I’m an extrovert and I hate the phone. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to hear people on smartphones, esp when they’re in public and have tons of background noise. I also get super annoyed when people are “multitasking” and clearly not paying attention to me – they’re talking to a friend, ordering at a counter, typing on the computer, whatever. At least with a text, I know they’re staring at the phone to write it.

        Plus on a personal note, smartphones are uncomfortable to hold to my face.

      1. But don’t you hate text conversations? It’s just easier to talk to someone on the phone – there’s a defined beginning, middle and end. I only like texting when it’s just a quick thing. I don’t like talking on the phone all that much, either, but this is why I’m an aspiring hermit.

      2. Haha. I read this as a bit tongue-in-cheek, but it’s still probably true. I haven’t regularly engaged in extended phone conversations to catch up with someone since I was 13 (on the cusp of getting a cell phone and consistent internet access). If I’m not talking to someone in person, it’s text or gchat. So I’m not very practiced at all of the things you have to be good at to have successful phone conversations. Like being able to easily hear, instead of see, breaks in the conversation. I swear I’m always accidentally talking over the person on the other end of the line. (“Oh, sorry, no you go.” “No, no, you go ahead.” *awkward pause* *both begin talking at the same time anyway* *repeat*).

      3. Even though I’m only 30, I don’t have substantive conversations via text. If I only see my boyfriend twice a week, I don’t want to spend five nights a week texting with him. That would spell the end of our relationship pretty quickly.

        I want to want to talk on the phone.

      4. I think text and phone conversations serve two different purposes. Phone conversations can either be “hey – let me catch you up on my life and catch up on yours” or “we need to make a plan and texting or emailing about it is way too much of a pain.” (Or, the very special “I am your mother and I can’t text so you better pick up the phone young lady.”)

        Text conversations are either “Here is a random observation about the day. Oh, you replied with your random observation – excellent.” It is also good for “I will be there in ten minutes. I do not want to discuss this – I am on a bus.” But if you text me “What’s up?” and expect in depth analysis – you are going to be deeply, deeply disappointed. Because I will probably tell you about the weird person on the train I just saw. And that’s it.

        1. +1 to all of this. I’ll text a friend to ask if they want to get lunch but have real conversations on the phone fairly regularly. I talk to my close family and friends on the phone all the time. Everyone else is text or gchat. I always screen my calls and usually don’t pick up unless it’s close family/friends or I’m expecting a call. I actually wish I talked to some of my closer friends more often now that we’re in completely different parts of the country.

      5. Really? I don’t know, maybe I’m an exception, but I’m in my early twenties and I talk on the phone regularly. I agree with TBK’s thoughts. If someone expects to have a full conversation with me via text, they’re sorely mistaken.

        I HATE texting conversations; they’re impersonal and seem a little lazy to me. When someone texts to ask how I am, it feels weirdly disingenuous to me, honestly. If you text me to ask if I want to grab drinks next week so we can catch up, that makes a lot more sense to me.

    3. Ahhh I hate talking on the phone too!! Soooo much. I think it’s b/c I talk on the phone all the time for work, so in the rare moments when I do have free time, I do not want to talk on the phone. I also almost always talk on speaker because it is very uncomfortable to have the iPhone against my ear/face so then that also limits the times that I talk on the phone since I have to be in a position to talk on speaker. I think at this point my friends/family know that I just don’t like talking on the phone and it could take a couple weeks for me to return a phone call (unless it’s something important). Texting and emailing is definitely the way to go.

    4. Yup. I always have. My dad really hates the phone and I think I inherited it from him.

      I put off necessary phone calls til the last minute and then I make all the business-related ones on the same day.

    5. I don’t like using the phone. Even as a teen I didn’t seem to see the thrill of sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen with the phone attached to the wall talking to my friends. (Did that just age me?)

      I will call my mom and sister frequently but I like to be in control of when I call them. I sometimes find the intrusion of their calls makes it a little difficult to really enter into the conversation.

    6. Maybe you’re just out of practice? I hate talking on the phone to almost everyone except my best friend and my mom and I think the reason is I have been talking to them on the phone every day for pretty much the last 16 years , before texting and email was a thing. Pretty much everyone else – esp. anyone I befriended after texting became what it is now – I find really awkward and annoying on the phone.

    7. I have borderline anxiety about talking on the phone. I talk to my dad, sister, my husband (if he’s away), and my grandpa on the phone. I never call anyone else– ever– and I hate returning someone’s call if they call me, even if it’s my best friend. I just prefer email, gchat, and text where I can think about what to say, take my time responding, etc.

      FWIW I’m 26.

      1. This. I hate talking on the phone. Sometimes if I have to call someone like the cable company, I’ll jot down some notes of what I want to say. Otherwise I get all nervous and start talking fast and forget what I want to say.

        The people I talk to most on the phone are my husband and mom. With other friends and family it’s text and email. I can’t pinpoint exactly why I don’t like talking on the phone, but I’m glad I’m not the only one.

    8. I hate phones. It has nothing to do with being an introvert, because I’m an extrovert and I hate them. I hate receiving calls because I’m not necessarily in a position to start a long conversation at that exact moment. I hate making calls because I don’t want to catch someone in a moment when they can’t talk/don’t feel like talking. As for the talking over people thing, bridget, I think that’s a cell phone thing and I hate it, too. (I *think* cell phones make it so that if you’re talking, the other person is essentially muted from your side — this doesn’t happen the same way on land lines, but no one uses those any more.) People talk about the lack of nuance in email, but I think it’s a much bigger deal on the phone. It’s just sort of uncanny, being able to hear the person and feel like you’re getting the emotion, but still missing the 1,000 body language signals you’d be getting face-to-face.

    9. I hate talking on the phones, and I’m a super-extrovert. I know that for me, there are a few things that bother me:

      I’m very demonstrative and like to talk with my hands, so I feel like a phone call isn’t the best medium for my communication style. If I need to make a point during a phone call, I try to reverse the old wisdom and tell instead of show.

      In addition, I’m very visual and can feel my brain getting bored or distracted if aural input is the only thing I have to pay attention to. For this reason I specifically try to avoid taking long calls at my desk–instead I do a lot of pacing and walking in circles while talking on the phone. When I’m on the phone at home, I also sometimes do really mindless mechanical tasks like kneading bread dough, as that helps keep me from relying on too much gesturing and also keeps my brain focused on the call.

      Why can’t everyone just send emails?

    10. I used to hate the phone (and still do for a lot of things) but because I live in a different city than my family as well as some of my closest friends, it’s really the only way to keep in touch on a regular basis. I will try to make some of these phone calls when I’m walking somewhere – I’ll usually call my mom on my way home from work a couple times a week. By the time I’m home, I’m done and it doesn’t feel like wasting time.

    11. I’m also not a phone talker.

      I was in high school, but into college and law school and real life, I’m just not any more. Quick calls are fine, but long catch-up calls with family – I just don’t make them. Except with my dad, every few weeks, on the opposite coast. No one else. No other family or friends.

      Although I do talk on speaker phone at work, with clients, pretty much all day.

    12. Man, I remember lying on my back on the kitchen floor with my legs leaning up the wall late at night, having long, heartfelt, get-to-know you conversations with boys I probably shouldn’t have been talking to (older than me, probably not actually interested in me as a person at all). Now my mom and I talk on the phone for an hour or more multiple times a week, and I have “coffee” over the phone with a few far-flung friends once or twice a month, but I would generally prefer to chat online if I can’t be in the same room as a person. My SO has mostly only been in long-distance relationships before me, so he tends to call and chatter at me all the time, at which point I get annoyed and say, “You’re driving to my house RIGHT NOW. This really couldn’t wait ten minutes?”

  16. Like the idea of this sweater in a solid color, but it would look like a bathrobe because I’m 5′ tall. Kat, it would be awesome if you would post, on a regular basis, choices for petites, and maybe for plus-sizes too. Belle at Capitol Hill Style does this and as a petite, I’m endlessly grateful to her for her sleuthing, though I’m too old to wear most of her finds. Would love to see your choices!

    3. If you do this, including talls would be helpful as well. I am endlessly frustrated that there are so many great options for petite-specific clothing and next to nothing for talls. I understand from a sales perspective, since the average American woman is 5’4″ but it’s still a PITA.

        1. Really? I’m tall (5’11”) and find Ann Taylor tall dresses are way too short to be work appropriate. I’ve had better luck with Old Navy, Talbotts and Boden. But I agree, tall suggestions (especially for dresses) would be great!

          1. Ann Taylor has a “tall” section on their web site, not sure if they have that in the stores or not

    4. I would second the call for the occasional (maybe once a month?) pick for a plus-size! I’m a (nearly) daily reader and would love to see what Kat picks out. Also because I’ve been feeling style/clothing impaired recently (realized I have about 20 pairs of pants, 17 dresses, but like 2 good tops. Need help!)

    5. That’s my favorite feature about CHS. Different levels of price range for the same look, links to petites, talls, and plus.

  17. Does anyone have any suggestions for managing flat, fine hair? I have a lot of hair, but it’s fine and as flat and slippery as a sheet of silk. It slides out of ponytails. I have a hard time getting it to do anything without a lot of blowdrying and hairspray.

    1. I have the same kind of hair and using a round brush to blowdry it has made all the difference in the world. I finish with extra hold hairspray (just a little) and then use my fingers to give the illusion of volume/texture, which holds for a good long time if I don’t touch my hair. Unfortunately we probably can’t roll with the airdry and go look and still feel put together. You’re probably already doing this but put conditioner only on the ends of your hair and not on your crown.

    2. I have the same hair. Dry shampoo is the only product I’ve found that can help add texture/volume without weighing it down. Actually, it’s the only product I ever use.

      1. What does everyone else use to brush their hair when they use dry shampoo? Brushing my hair after using it (to distribute and also redo hair the day after, when the dry shampoo is still effective) leaves my brushes weirdly dirty, and I feel like I have to wash them every time I brush my hair after using them in dry shampooed hair.

        1. I used a Mason Pearson brush for years, but I recently switched to an all-nylon Denman brush and I can’t believe how much I love it

          Have you tried using less product? Sounds like you might be using more than you need.

    3. What works for me (shoulder-length, some wispy layers, no bangs):

      Blow dry hair upside down until it is 90% dry, then flip head over and finish with a round brush.
      Ellnet hairspray (tall skinny gold can; it’s a L’Oreal product and you can get it at Target).

      Varsity level:
      some sort of mousse (I don’t like regularly b/c I like touchable hair) before the upside down drying
      velcro rollers for the final 10% of drying
      some backcombing near the roots (I have a Marilyn teasing brush from amazon.com that I really like)
      more spray

      It still slips out, but this gives it more of a shape. But I basically can’t get bedhead (or a quick brushing takes care of it), so that saved my b*tt in college.

      FWIW, I had no idea at all that curly people can’t brush their hair. I can brush my hair until the cows come home.

    4. I feel like the spokesperson for these, but medium velcro rollers post-blowdry are amazing. Mist with hairspray and let sit as long as you have to get ready. Also, coloring your hair roughs up the cuticle and gives volume to fine hair.

    6. You could try using dry shampoo to add some texture to your hair when putting it an updo or ponytail. (To give proper credit, I just read about that on a recent post on the blog 15 Min Beauty.)

    7. I’ve found the solution for my hair revolves around finding the right shampoo and avoiding conditioner on most days. At this point, I only condition once or twice a week, usually on weekends when I’m not going anywhere special or have extra time to style. I sometimes use the combo shampoo and conditioner products. I’ve had luck with Rusk Sensories, Aveeno Active Naturals, L’Oreal EverPure, and Pantene Ice Shine, but ymmv.

      1. Agree with not conditioning often. Conditioner flattens out my fine hair. Once a week or so and I try to keep it mostly on the ends.

    8. You need some texture. That means some product that gives your hair something for the styling to hold on to. Some people use hairspray before styling.

      Personally, I really like Aveda Phomolient. It’s a very light mousse, and it smells wonderful.

      If you want to blow dry every day and style, great, but use product. If you don’t want to style every day, then ask your stylist for a cut that will just lay flat.

    9. I have the same hair type and I finally managed to “train” my hair so it needs to be washed only once every 3 days. Days 2 & 3 are typically my better hair days, where I can achieve some volume with dry shampoo (lifesaver!) & a 1″-2″ curling iron (depending on my preference).

      Velcro rollers are also good, but I do have trouble getting them to stay in my hair. I will use good old fashioned hot rollers from time to time. Hairspray is a lifesaver (I personally love Tresemme). I’m also a big fan of the side part to “cheat” and give my roots a little more boost with any product or styling (I blowdry with a middle part and then readjust after heat styling to get some more volume).

    10. Sulfate-free shampoo! I have the same kind of hair and giving up sulfates has given me way more volume and texture and even allowed me to go a day without washing.

    1. This morning I was praying for the rain to START. I mean, 90 degrees and 100% humidity in September is NOT New England weather. FOOEY.

      1. Yes – but the flooding in our state is tragic. My niece had to change her wedding location for this weekend because of the flooding in Colorado.

      1. No – I’m not in it. We moved to the plains a while back but my heart is still in the mountains. We were watching the news reports last night and some of our favorite places were underwater.

  19. Related to the recent discussions about What To Do Before Starting Biglaw – I just finished up two years of clerking and will be starting in midlaw (well, big for my southern city) next week. I’ve tried to get my ducks in a row: the freezer is stuffed with premade meals, all the drycleaning is picked up and hanging neatly in the closet, I’ve read “Swimming Lessons for Baby Sharks,” spent some quality time with the hub, etc. I’m excited to start, but also a little nervous because I’m not headed in as a straight-out-of-law-school newbie, and I know more will be expected of me. Can anyone who went through a similar transition comment, and is there anything else I should be doing with my last few days?

    1. I did what you describe — two years of clerking, then into a firm. Really, don’t do anything. You need to rest. I went to the beach for a few days before I started. Depending on what kind of practice you are going into, you are not going to know that much about what they do, anyway (or at least this was my experience). One of the bigger difficulties in transitioning from clerking to private practice, at least for me, was the shift in volume – I went from having one or two active cases at a time to being responsible for multiple matters at once. But I have no idea how you would prepare for that in advance. You could read “Getting Things Done” or something similar if you think it would ease your anxiety. It seems to me that you have to learn to cope with most of the challenges of law firm life on the job.

    2. Though I didn’t come from a clerkship, I recently moved from very small law to mid-law. First, you will have more to manage so devise a system that works for you for keeping track of it. I use a small notebook for every day for lists, phone call notes, time entries to be entered later, etc. For some people a calendar works or using Tasks in Outlook, but find whatever works for you and stick with it. Second, it may take a while to get enough work. It took me abot 2 to 3 months to be consistently busy so don’t get discouraged. Good luck.

    3. Sleep, read for fun, and go out for dinner/drinks with friends who have 9-5 type jobs.

    4. More will be expected of you, but on the other hand, there will be a lot of things where you have no more experience than someone straight out of law school (discovery, for instance). I’ve seen any number of former clerks get off to a bad start at law firms because they get their noses bent out of shape if someone mistakenly calls them a 1st year and correcting people that they’re really a 2d (or in your case, 3d) year. But you really don’t have as much knowledge or practical experience as a 3d year, so you’re setting yourself up for failure if you go around insisting that you’re really a 3d year. You also don’t want people to think you’re straight out of law school, though, so you need to find a nice balance to strike on this. One way to do it is not worry about what labels people attach to you; another is to be up front with people about what you have and haven’t done before. So for instance, if someone asks you to draft discovery, you might say “Great, I’d be happy to do that. I haven’t drafted discovery before as I was clerking for the last two years. Do you have a model or any examples that you’d suggest I look at so that I can be sure to do it the way you like?”

  20. Washing workout clothes – I was just re-reading the thread from a few weeks (months?) ago about geting residual odors out of workout clothes and I want to give white vinegar a try before investing in Sports Suds (or the like). To those who use the white vinegar, just to confirm, it is white vinegar without any other detergent, correct? Thanks!

    1. Nope, it’s white vinegar in addition to regular detergent. I use anywhere between .5 and a whole cup.

    2. I use detergent in the wash cycle then plain white vinegar in the “fabric softener” spot.

    3. Vinegar and detergent if you are washing dirty workout clothes, but if you have workout wear that still stinks despite having been washed, then run it though a cycle with just the vinegar. If you have the option for an extra rinse cycle, then choose that as well.

    4. Yep, vinegar and detergent at the same time. I usually pour in one, then the other. Should work like a charm! (Vinegar is also great for when your washer has a funky smell — I put it on a quick, hot wash with just vinegar.)

    5. I don’t have laundry in my apartment so I’m relegated to the laundromat across the street, and I’ve found that using the (relatively new? I think?) Tide detergent that’s made with Febreze specifically for sports clothes is great.

      Actually, I love laundry day because when I bring home my delicates to hang dry, my entire apartment smells like clean laundry for a day or two. It totally eradicates any leftover odor. (And I sweat A LOT at the gym.)

  21. I sat through a company presentation recently loaded with cliches and sentimental claptrap.

    It made me think about all the things we hear that are actually dogmatic, based-on-circular reasoning, or just unsubstantiated, unadulterated BS. What things would you nominate as “most cringe-worthy (to you) BS?”

    For me:
    1. We are all team-players here. (I heard this back in investment banking. Yeah-right. The comp and review structure incentivized people to backstab, so um, no. We weren’t all team players there.)

    2. This is a meritocracy. (Various workplaces. BWAHAHAHA.)

    3. Your family always wants what’s best for you. (False, false, false. Depends on the relative in question. I am lucky that my parents are reasonably well-adjusted people who love me dearly. Not everybody is so fortunate, and I can only imagine how much a person who was abused by a relative, esp. a parent, might cringe when they hear this sentimental Hallmark message complete with tinkly piano music.)

    1. I *hate* these. *Hate* them. People should behave properly instead of talking about how to behave properly.

    2. “Just be yourself.” I think what people mean when they say this is not to let other people influence you unduly, or that you should just own the fact that you like Star Trek or whatnot. But what it sounds like is “You are perfect just the way you are!” which no one is. It’s important to be aware of things you do that (i) irritate other people, or (ii) are just wrong, and to work on improving those things.

      1. In a similar vein, “It should never matter to you what other people think of you.” Well yes, to an extent. Don’t obsess over things you can’t change, like whether every one in the world thinks you are awesome, but worrying about what others think is a pretty big part of having a functioning society. Feel like punching your co-worker? You probably won’t, because it matters to you what your boss, the police, and judges think about you. We adopt minimum standards of dress and behavior and manners because to some extent, it matters.

        1. Yes, and additionally I do value the opinions of people I love and respect. If one of them tells me I should do something differently, often it will cause me to re-examine my behavior. This isn’t the same as letting other people run your life for you, but I think it’s good to let some people’s opinions of me matter.

          1. Completely agree.

            When I was 12, I suddenly developed this really bad habit, where instead of blinking normally, I’d snap my eyes shut really really exaggeratedly and at a much higher frequency than normal.

            This was harmless to others, certainly. But, somewhat harmful to me — in that it drew people’s attention away from what I was saying towards this silly habit. This was not a nerve-tic, or involuntary, it was just a quickly-ingrained bad habit.

            It wasn’t that nobody noticed, it was the other people in my life feeling like they didn’t have sufficient..standing to tell me, or they didn’t care, or they enjoyed making fun of me (yup, some of the queen bees and their drones did impressions of me behind my back about it, as I later found out).

            My mother took me aside once she confirmed that it was a pattern and an established habit, and told me gently, but firmly, that it was distracting, and it was causing what I was saying to get dismissed when it shouldn’t have been dismissed.

      2. +1000000000

        I was just reading this great thing about how radical self-loathing and radical self-love are both detrimental in different ways. I’ve ALWAYS hated being told to LOVE MYSELF or EMBRACE MYSELF because, you know what? I have flaws! And there are things I want to work on, things I want to improve! There are parts of my personality that are horrible that I really hate, things that I really don’t like, and the idea of someone telling me that I can only be emotionally/mentally healthy if I love all of myself is policing and, frankly, a load of horsesh*t.

  22. Can anyone comment about Everlane T-shirt sizing? Thinking of one or two ordering after hearing glowing reviews…

    1. I have the Ryan tee (which is drapey and supposed to be a little loose). I ordered a small because that’s normally what I wear, and it fits perfectly. Not sure what the deal is with the normal tees, but I suspect it runs TTS.

      1. I am a tall size 10. I am between medium and large depending on the brand, and I buy large t-shirts from Everlane (the regular ones), in part so I can was them on warm and dry them and not worry about it. I think the Ryan is meant to be loose, so you could size down there. (I wouldn’t wash the Ryan on warm and definitely wouldn’t dry it, mine shrunk like crazy).

    2. Can someone also explain what everlane ‘membership’ mean? Usually that means paying into the group, but I can’t find where the membership fee is listed. I’m wondering if it really just means setting up a purchasing account and signing up for the mailing list.

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