Coffee Break: Elisa Birthstone Pendant Necklace

132 Comments

1. I love this. I was reluctant to try Kendra Scott because it’s so ubiquitous, but I have several pairs of her earrings and always get so many compliments.

   1. I really like the look of the jewelry, but I just can’t get over how cheap and plastic the metal feels on the pieces I’ve tried/have. I just feel like it should feel like real hypoallergenic metal if you’re going to charge $50 to $150 for jewelry – especially when said metal is attached to pretty, but fake, rocks.

      1. I completely agree. I like all of the colors available, but the chains look so cheap!

      2. This. So much this. I got one of her necklaces in gold, and now less than a year later it is silver because the plating wore off. It’s made just so poorly. I also had to return the necklace I originally bought because there was a piece of metal that wasn’t ground off the way it should have been and kept poking me in the neck. $50 on Etsy will get you much nicer jewelry!

   2. I cannot look at this pendant without thinking of the “Mother’s Day” movie, where Julia Roberts played a home shopping network host pushing these pendants by the millions.

   3. My sister gave me some big dangle earrings from Kendra Scott. They’re really popular in Texas where she lives. I wasn’t as familiar with the brand here in the Bay Area. I only wore them a couple of times but people really complimented them when I did. I then gave them to my teen daughter (or more precisely, she spotted them in my jewelry box and stole them) and wears them all the time. They do look really cute on her, and when she eats them she also gets lots of compliments. I’ve been with her and have seen this happen.

      1. When she *wears them. I don’t think she eats earrings, but thanks for the assist, Siri.

2. Will a hotel still let me check in if I no longer have the card I reserved the room with? My purse was stolen today and with it the credit card I used to make a hotel reservation for a work trip later this week. I’m pretty sure I need to be able to present the same card at the hotel that I used to make the reservation, right? What should I do? I can order a new card from my bank but it won’t get here before I have to leave, and I need to cancel the card that was stolen anyway.

   1. I’ve used different cards to check in than what I used for the reservation. I would call the hotel and ask, but I don’t think it will be a problem.

   2. No. You need to present A card, not the same one.

      1. +1. They don’t care, so long as you pay with something.

   3. You do not need to present the same card you used to secure the reservation. It’s very common that a guest has a card replaced due to loss or fraud. The new card will have a different account number anyway so there is no reason to worry about getting the new card in time.

      That said, it seems like the first thing your credit card company would have asked you when you reported the card stolen was ask where to send your new card and how fast, so I’m a little puzzled that you would need to “order a new card.” You can also ask them to expedite the new card – most credit card companies will overnight a new card to a card holder who has been a good customer and frequent user – at no charge.

      You will need *a* credit card at check in to cover any incidentals. So if this was your only card for some reason, you are in trouble and need to get a card. You can use a debit card at some hotels but they generally put a hold on a chunk of the account funds, which is far from ideal.

   4. No, ime you can pay with any card.

   5. You’ll be fine with the new card.

   6. Your credit card company will also overnight you a replacement card if you ask.

   7. Thanks everyone! I think I freaked out a little! Here’s hoping the rest of the week goes more smoothly than today :)

   8. Any card will work, but you will probably need a driver’s license or photo id, so if that was stolen, too, you may have a problem.

3. I need help with the finishing touches of a room.

   I picked a decent “greige” paint pallet for our house; we have nice enough neutral window treatments that match the greige; I have mid-level neutral furniture (e.g., leather sofa in living room; grey sectional in family room) – all of this lends itself to being a bit more traditional or a bit more Joanna Gaines/farmhouse depending on the pillows, rugs, lamps, tchotchkes, etc and I am stuck.

   I don’t like unnecessary stuff. So family pictures are great but a random poster print I picked out to finish the space isn’t me. I like real art but I can’t afford it. I don’t use candles so adding them seems pointless. But this all ends up in having rooms that feel very unfinished.

   I think that given my current limitations (children, no budget to replace all furniture, can’t live in a beachy cottage on the beach ha!), I would like to have a less-farm house Joanna Gaines look. Chunky knits to curl up with, fluffy monochrome pillows, soft rug for kids and dog, iron and reclaimed wood ok but nothing with peeling paint. Are there any design blogs that I can look at to try to figure out how to finish off my rooms?

   1. Houzz dot com is great for ideas, as is Pinterest. Just type in search terms that interest you and you will get literally hundreds if not thousands of photos with good ideas!

      1. Houzz dot com is great for ideas, as is Pinterest. Just type in search terms that interest you and you will get literally hundreds if not thousands of photos with good ideas!

   2. Bower Power comes to mind for what you describe.

      1. Thanks!

   3. What are you asking for? You don’t like clutter or tchotchkes, you don’t want fake art. Are you wanting big items to fill out the space? Do you want color (because frankly you house sounds a little plain) suggestions?

      Honestly, checking out Pinterest is your best bet, or go randomly exploring at At Home, Big Lots, Ross or Target for trendy but low cost décor because you don’t seem to know what you want.

      My only tangible suggestion is the “shag” rug from Ruggable – it’s definitely more like a lambskin rug and not a shag rug, but washable.

      1. Coffee tables, side tables, rugs, picture frames, lamps. I’ve spent hours wandering Home Goods and Target but I have no idea how to mix metals, whether to get a black iron floor lamp or a white ceramic table lamp etc, what color throw pillows/how to get complementary throw pillows that aren’t matchy-matchy, etc. So the useful design components I want to buy elude me.

         1. Mix metals away! Just have multiples of any metal you have – so you can have black and brass, but at least 3 uses of each in a room (so, lamp, furniture handles, picture frame) so it looks intentional.

            And target and home goods have good return policies. Buy it, try it and return it!

            1. +1 – applies to other things too. Find a way to use a color in different textures. So, have a white chunky throw, a shiny/satin pillow and a velvet pillow, a clock/piece of art for the wall, all in the same color. The color pulls them together, but the different textures/functions keep it from feeling too much like a set.

               A lot of this is trial and error. You see something you like in a picture- figure out what you like about it (symmetry/asymmetry, color, etc) and see where you can naturally apply it in your own home.

            2. Thanks poster above and below!

   4. If you like real art, I am also suggest hitting up some local art fairs/exploring some young artists. I found some really beautiful watercolor abstract art from a local young artist that I absolutely love and was very affordable. And I love being able to turn people on to her work and support someone trying to make a living pursuing art.

      1. This is a great idea! I love being able to support someone’s work and also get a great real art piece. Thanks!

         1. Also late in day but if you read this I have had great luck buying prints on Etsy and then having them put on canvas at one of the discount online canvas sites. Its cheap but I am supporting small business and I can pick the prints that speak to me.

   5. I think you need to add some pattern and some green. So one larger houseplant in a corner if you can, and pattern and color through throw pillows on the sofa or area rugs under the couch.

      For me, I like a traditional Persian rug with some sort of red value – these read as neutral because they are the basic Persian design. And of course they are timeless. It’s expensive though unless you get an imitation rug or a used rug (I do the latter but it helps to know what you like – I like Shiraz or tribal patterns)

      It’s easier to get patterned throw pillows and you can do this more easily. Go to target or pier one or a place like that and just take a look. The nice thing is that these pillows tend to be standard sizes so you can always get new covers if you get tired of the ones you bought.

   6. I mean, massive portions of my local Target stores have been overtaken with Joanna Gaines’ designs, so maybe start there.

      1. Thanks – my Target has been phasing out a lot of the Joana Gaines’ stuff. It’s mostly tableware now, which is probably because she is selling her pillows and furniture at higher end places now.

   7. I recently used a service called Swatch Pop to finish a guestroom in my house. You pay a stylist for a certain number of “pops,” like tell me what to do on this wall, pick out a rug, etc. You send them pictures of your room and describe your style, and they send you back a mock-up design of your room with links of what to buy. It was much more efficient than me browsing through hundreds of rugs online, trying to figure if I want accent wallpaper or just paint, etc.

      If your rooms look “unfinished,” like you mentioned, I think you are going to have to use a few pieces that you might call unnecessary. You mentioned you like real art, but can’t afford it. Have you looked at local artists? A local gallery in your area or even more affordably, someone selling art at the farmer’s market? You could also buy a big canvas and have your kids sling some paint around on it. A thicker-edged canvas looks more legit. Buy some 99cent tubes of acrylic paint in colors that work in your room… greige, darker greige, lighter greige, cream, light tan, etc. When they’re done, paint the edges of the canvas solid greige. For the canvas, or anything that you want to hang on your wall, it usually needs to be bigger than you think.

      1. I will look at Swatch Pop – that sounds like it will be good guidance

4. Yay! This is a beautiful pendant necklace, and at $50, it is a STEAL! I will buy one and a second one for Rosa. If she is not goeing to keep it, she can give it to one of her kid’s!

   I was away with Grandma Leyeh last week when she was at REHAB, so was not abel to read all of the p’osts, let alone comment on them. I did see some of the hearings, and wonder why all of those party boys get to get great jobs on the court system. Personaly, I would prefer a WOMAN on the Supreme Court. Why Can’t Trump nominate a WOMAN? She would have a better chance at getting confirmed, even if she was a Republican. Dad thinks that Janet DeFiore would be a good candidate b/c she was a judge somewhere, and I think is on TV as a talking head. Does anyone know her? The party is proabably over now that Senator Flake (what a name) asked for an FBI investigation.

5. Besides my appt next Monday, I’m using you guys as extra accountability partners! I made a first therapy appt with a counselor through work EAP…just to have someone to talk to about some long term crappy marriage issues I have decided to deal with. The counselor sounded great on the phone and her website is encouraging so I’m excited but very nervous. What should I know before I go?

   1. If you are going during the middle of the day, make sure to give yourself some time to recover before going back to work. It may also be helpful to have touch-up make up with you. For the first few years of therapy, I would routinely cry during sessions. These days it is rare, but I still treat myself with a fancy coffee, pastry, or other treat after most sessions.

      Don’t expect immediate improvement, but do expect some improvement. So, on one hand, don’t linger with a therapist who is not helping you make progress, but do recognize that some of the biggest gains come from the therapist’s ability to see trends in your behaviors/accountings of events–and that can only come with a bit of time.

      Try to be as open and honest as possible–you’d think that’s a given but I still struggle to be 100% honest, especially anytime I perceive a deficiency in my own behavior. I have occasionally resorted to handing my phone to my therapist b/c I cannot physically read aloud a text I wrote.

      Overall, keep at it! It’s not easy but I have gained SO much from regular therapy and regret the times I’ve let the habit slip.

      1. +1. Give yourself some time after the appointment to collect. A cool, damp paper towel over your eyes can help with redness (I am a blotchy mess when I cry).

   2. Put together a list of what you’d like to cover, and what outcomes you’d like (“decide whether to . . . “), and bring it with you. You got this!

6. I have finally gotten the okay to work remotely for 2-3 days a week on a permanent basis. For those who work from home part or full time, what are your best tips to make this work successfully? This is the first step towards most likely moving into a remote consulting role in the future if this works well, so I am trying to set myself up to be as prepared as I can. I have a dedicated office that I am making some updates to, but what else should I be thinking of either in terms of equipment or structuring my time.

   1. Treat your wfh day like a regular work day. Get up, shower, put on real clothes (not work clothes, but something that is not pajamas) to get yourself in the mindset of “I’ve started my day doing non-home things”. Keep a work schedule as well. It is far too easy to either slack off doing too many home things while you work or to work too much well into the evening because there is no real “quit time” of leaving the office. When I wfm, I start at my normal start time, take the same regular mental breaks that I do at work (ex. 5 min to stretch my legs every hour = a walk around the block or upstairs). Lunch at noon, stop or slow down answering emails at 6 or so.

      1. These are all great suggestions and when I worked from home part time I absolutely intended to do all of them, but in practice never did, which is why WFH more than once in a while is absolutely not for me.

         I do think the most important thing is to have a place where you work from home that is only for working from home. It is not also your dining table or the couch where you watch TV. You need to be able to exist in a non work space when you’re not working so that working from home 2-3 days per week does not turn into working from home 24/7.

      2. Yup. I am a full-time remote employee (with occasional on-site client visits) and I treat the days as much as I can like I used to when I went to an office. Actually, I get FAR more work done now than I did when I went to an office (for a different company, different work)- but apples and oranges.

         In the mornings, I shower before work, dress, have coffee, breakfast. Many days, I bring my son to school (short walk.) When it’s time, I head up to my office, work, occasionally break for lunch (usually microwaved, or something quick to prepare, and which I eat at my desk,) work afternoons, and am done at 5, with occasional evening work after dinner. It’s important to me to shower before work– I’m just more comfortable when I’m clean and in fresh clothing (I’m cold during the day if I haven’t showered, for some reason) and it’s also a nice start to the day.

         I will occasionally throw in some laundry during the day, as well as run the occasional errand. However, that does not occur often, something which surprised me when I started this job. I thought I would have more free time, certainly as much as I had when I went to an office! But meetings with clients need to occur on their schedule, and those take up the better part of my day.

         TL;DR- keep to a routine as much as you can on your WFH days. It helps.

   2. A really good office chair. Make sure it’s incredibly comfortable and supportive. Don’t cheap out. Mine was $300 but I was able to expense it. I’d also look at your setup and have it so that you have a blank wall as the background behind you. This makes being on a video call quick and easy since you don’t have to worry about clutter. Make sure to take regular breaks to get up and walk around.

   3. Agree with the earlier advice to treat wfh as much like a regular work day as possible – get dressed, adhere to regular work schedule, etc. One thing I’m considering is getting a landline for my home office. I’m on the phone a lot, and I’m enraged when my cell quality fizzles and I have to get up and find the one spot in my house where the other caller can hear me. The other thing I should do (but just can’t) is banish my cat from sitting on my desk/lap/keyboard while working.

   4. I schedule my WFH days as detailed as I schedule my office days. I build in times for breaks. Sometimes I go on a walk, sometimes I call my grandma…I get in some socialization when I’m at the office, so I want to when I am at home, too. I have learned to schedule calls around the lawn service or vice-versa (once had a video call interrupted by a very loud lawn mower…whoops). I find I need earplugs/soft music more at home than at the office to block out street noise, etc. Oh and I don’t let myself constantly graze in the kitchen though I certainly want to since it’s only a few feet away…

7. I’m looking to get some laser hair removal done. Any recommendations in the SF Bay Area?

8. Ragweed hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend. How are you all dealing?

   1. Started taking Allegra daily again. Still sniffly but its not bad.

      1. I’m already taking my Zyrtec daily, failed to mention I suffer from regular allergies year round too!

         1. You might want to switch from Zyrtec to Allegra or another anthistamine. My friend who knows a lot about these things says their effectiveness wears off after a while. So you switch types every 6 months. He does 6 months Allegra, 6 months Zyrtec, then back to Allegra and so forth. Apparently the “wearing off” is not permanent.

            Since he mentioned this to me I’ve also read it online, but I can’t remember where. Should be googleable.

         2. Double up. They’re all supposed to be “24 hour” (lulz). When my allergies are really bad I take allegra in the morning and zyrtec at night.

   2. My allergist is amazing for my terrible year round allergies. I’m on a combination of nasal rinse, Zyrtec, Flonase (nasal spray), Azelastine (nasal spray), and pill decongestant as needed. I’m not 100% everyday, but was barely able to breathe earlier this year, so even this 85-90% improvement makes life much easier. Loratadine used to work for me but now does nothing.

   3. flonase and alaway (the only eye drops that work for me; my optometrist recommended them!)

   4. I don’t know what it’s like in your area, but around here (PA) there is a virus going around that presents as allergy symptoms. My dad had/has it. He was complaining he had allergies — he’s never had allergies in his 70+ years, but he does maintenance and cuts grass at a local park. We’ve had a ton of rain here, too, so between being the grass and possible mold, okay, allergies seemed like a distinct possibility. Allergy meds were doing nothing so he went to the doctor and was told nope, that’s this virus going around.

      If your allergies seem worse than usual and your usual meds aren’t helping at all, it may not be allergies.

9. Shaving your arms? Is this a thing a lot of women do? I’ve never thought about it, but my arm hair seems a little extra recently, so I googled it and it seems to be more popular than I thought! Have I been missing out this whole time?

   1. I started waxing my arms about 20 years ago or so and eventually had them lasered. It is super common for women of my background (Greek) and all of my South Asian friends as well.

      Hair free arms FTW.

      1. I am part Wookiee in a nonwookie part of the US. I hated being the only furry one. I did some laser and it isn’t gone but it is finer and less noticeable.

         I thing it is OK being furry if you are a guy but I hated how it looked, worried that I had a problem of some sort, and like summer so much more. Comfort in your own skin is such a luxury.

   2. Missing out? Why sign up for this? Let’s say it takes you 10 minutes per week. That’s 9 hrs per year for the rest of your life … say the next 40 yrs … that’s 360 hrs or 15 entire days … you could take an entire 2 week 1 day vacation or spend this time shaving your arms … I imagine you could use your razor blade/shave cream money to book a nice hotel … LOL all this time/effort just to keep up a pretense that your arms are naturally hairless … which is that even ideal or is it weird?

   3. God no, don’t start doing this. Don’t invent a problem.

      1. I remember a lot of girls doing this in high school. Wonder if they’ve had to keep up with it for all these years. Yikes!

   4. I’ve only ever known one woman my age (mid-30s) who does this. She’s been doing this since like, 12. OTOH my younger (early 20s) relatives don’t shave their armpits or legs, and seriously no one cares in their circles. It’s not a statement or anything, I guess the youngsters just didn’t get the message that this was a requirement of being female like we did.

      1. I remember once Sassy magazine had one of those “write-in columns” where the question was, how do I shave my legs?
         And the answer was a few paragraphs in, after the, “You don’t have to!” part. Then they talked about hot water and moisturizing and stuff for ingrown hairs.

         Shortly after that, Sassy folded.

         I’m glad the new generation is on the right track! Took me until age 33 or so but now I’m pushing 40 and rarely shave my pits, either! Husband loves me!

   5. I’m of the opinion that if it isn’t to excess and doesn’t bother you, leave it be, because it the prickly feeling of it growing back will make you WANT to take it off again, thus a vicious cycle is born. I don’t shave mine as my skin is on the darker side with accompanying dark hair, so it’s not as noticeable.

      1. +1 You do you. I’m of South Asian ethnicity so I wasn’t a fan of my dark arm hairs. And the hairs would often get trapped in my metal watch band, so I lightly shave my arms everyday. Not much of an effort.

         1. Yeah, Central Asian and same. I shave them about every other day. It takes 5 seconds, not a big deal.

   6. I don’t do this because (1) my arm hair is not that voluminous or thick and (2) I don’t want the commitment. But on occasion, I have felt like the hair was noticeable in a way I dislike. As a compromise, I have used Jolen to bleach it. Since it is not a volume/length/thickness issue for me, this has worked out well.

   7. Yeah I do it on and off whenever I’m in the shower and it occurs to me.

   8. Yes, I do it. It’s a lot faster than shaving your legs and I prefer not having the hairs get snagged up in my watch or bracelet. If I want a break from it, it really only takes about 2 weeks for the hairs to be long enough that they’re not prickly — NBD.

   9. Do not do it. It will only make it worse. I decolorate it during years until I did laser removal.

10. Madewell code for $25 off

    10B-B2GLT7WW49

    Enjoy!

11. Anyone have cartilage problems in their knees? I’m better now but had a scary weekend where walking was a challenge. I found a realignment exercise that helped but wondering what else I should know…

    1. Consult a physical therapist?

    2. Yes, I do have cartilage and other knee problems, but the answer is: See a doctor (some kind of orthopedic doctor). They will provide you with the next steps (which could include MRI or X-ray, minor/major surgery, PT, braces, etc).

    3. I have. First I went to the traumatologist for a diagnosis. After X-ray mine was lax kneecaps. He gave me an exercise program and a prescription for life. In my case, since I was neither an elite athlete nor a dancer (his words), the operation was ruled out.
       It is true that with strengthening exercises I have improved a lot and I only have problems occasionally. I always use my poles for hiking apart from being very careful in my routes to make gradual descents always in zig-zag.
       Also be carefull with your weight and which kind of sport you do. I use to run (I was in the school team) but from that moment I had to change to Pilates and swiming.

12. What do you do if you realize you’ve moved too fast in a new relationship? Is it possible to un-ring the exclusivity bell?

    I’ve been seeing a guy for a little over 3 months. We decided to be exclusive 2 weeks ago. I was trepidatious because his schedule is awful. I really like the guy but if we can’t spend time together then we can’t really move forward. He told me he’s already requested a change and his schedule would improve (in specific ways) “soon”. Over the weekend, he told me “soon” actually means next spring and it’s not guaranteed to happen. I realize now I should’ve waited to be exclusive until the change actually went through. Is it possible to say, hey this is new information that changes things for me, we need to take a step back here? Or is it too late for that?

    1. It’s definitely not too late to ask for what you want! Ask yourself too, though, if he deliberately mislead you and if it’s likely that he is always going to have other priorities … you might want to walk this ALL the way back to not even dating and have him give you a call in the spring if his circumstances actually do change.

       1. I’m going to say that I think he deliberately mislead you by saying it would be “soon” … and you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t honest. You’re not locked in to your word on exclusivity, especially since it was based on a lie. You are certainly entitled to change your mind. Why date this guy at all, though?

          1. I think it’s jumping to conclusions to say that the guy deliberately misled OP. I’ve been promised things at work “soon,” as in “you’ll have X in a couple of weeks,” then had circumstances change in ways that delayed the things I was promised for 6 months. It’s frustrating, but not worth leaving an otherwise great job over.

    2. You probably need to break up

    3. I don’t see why it would be too late, necessarily. You didn’t get married or buy property together, right?

       Is there a reason you want to keep seeing him but not exclusively? You have the right to say this isn’t working for you, just as he has the right to say — if being exclusive is important to him — that it’s not working for him, either.

    4. I would honestly break up. He can’t spend time with you, that likely won’t change. If his schedule changes one day and you’re single, maybe give it a try then. But I don’t think it will work currently.

    5. I think you have bigger questions to ask yourself – like if you really like this guy or if maybe you have something in your past that’s holding you up here. The hesitation/reaction seems out of scale. You’ve been dating for three months – either you like him enough to be exclusive and see you a future/shared goals (whatever they may look like, casual, etc) and you deal with his schedule or you don’t. Assuming you’ve been seeing each other about once a week, you know that about a guy by three months, regardless of schedule.

       You’re in charge of your own life. You’re always allowed to say, “Hey, on second thought, this isn’t working for me. See ya later.” As you do, it might be wise to reflect on what’s really bothered you about this situation.

    6. If you don’t want to be exclusive then don’t be exclusive. Obviously, tell him first. He’s too busy to spend the time with you that you are looking for in an exclusive relationship so he may choose to end it when you decide to go non exclusive, but that may be for the best anyway.

       I don’t think I’d be willing to be in a serious relationship with someone who couldn’t prioritize me until the spring.

    7. You can ask for whatever you want from him–it’s your life–but I do think it would come off as quite strange to try to undo the exclusivity step. If it’s a serious hindrance in how you feel about him and/or the relationship, then, sure, ask, but be prepared for him to react negatively and/or break up with you. If it’s not a hindrance in getting to enough of a point where you feel comfortable making a larger decision about him/the relationship maybe give it a bit of time. Sounds like this is a part of a larger issue, though.

    8. No, I don’t think it’s possible to un-ring the bell. I think you need to break up because this relationship is not working for you.

    9. You know it is totally ok to keep gardening together, right? Just be honest with him about your expectations both inside and outside your relationship.

    10. He probably has a secret life/wife somewhere

13. What does it mean to be given a percentage of a company? I have been in large corporations for most of my career and am now talking about opportunities. When discussing potential compensation, they have mentioned getting a percentage of the company. How does this work? is it a percentage of profit? A percentage of the proceeds from a sale? Potentially both of these, and I need to work that out with them? This is new territory for me coming out of exclusively corporate work.

    1. It’s generally a percentage of ownership in the company, which isn’t realized until the company is eventually sold. It’s highly speculative for growth companies and as such, I’d be careful accepting ownership as anything other than a “kicker” – it shouldn’t meaningfully replace salary or other benefits. Management will do their best to convince you their particular company is the best thing since sliced bread – that’s largely the message they are paid to send to everyone, including you.

    2. Percentage of a small company? Sounds like code for “we can’t afford to give you a reasonable salary” and you should definitely ask lots of questions.

    3. First, it may seem a bit pedantic, but terminology is important in this area–I think you mean you are coming out of exclusively *large* corporate work. If you are being offered part of a “company” then the new work is, by definition, corporate.

       As for your questions:
       It means that they are offering you some sort of an ownership interest. If it is a partnership (LLP, Ltd.), it would be a partnership interest. If it is a corporation (Inc.) it would be shares and you would be a shareholder. If it is an LLC (limited liability company) it could be either an ownership interest (like a partnership) or shares.

       How does this work? It depends. Every company and every offer is different. If you are in an industry where this is common, there is probably a “most common” way it is structured, though it may vary by geographic region. At a minimum, an ownership interest usually grants you a right to some portion of the profits and some portion of the sales proceeds if the company is acquired or goes public.

       I encourage you to find a small business attorney to help you review any offers you receive. You will likely need far more information than they originally give you to know how much an ownership interest is worth. How much of that information you request depends heavily on what can be inferred from previous conversations and the “norms” in your industry and area. You don’t want to ask for 20 things from a company you are interviewing with if you can ask for 3 and get to the same point. A local business attorney will be able to help with that process.

       Good luck!

       1. Thank you, it’s important to be precise. You’re right, I’m coming from *large* corporate. Your info is really helpful.

       2. +1 Also talk to your accountant and if you don’t have one, you’ll need one if you are an owner. They should help you understand the tax implications of getting paid as an owner vs as an employee.

    4. It usually means ownership of the company but the specifics will depend on how the company is structured (partnership, llc, corporation). The details vary with structure, but essentially it means you should be entitled to both a percentage of the company’s income and proceeds from a sale. You may also be responsible for some expenses though, particularly if it’s a partnership.

       1. If it’s ownership, you also may be asked to take on responsibility for the company’s existing debts or obligations–i.e., they may want you to sign your name to a bank loan, capital lease, etc. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but you should do your due diligence as if it were any other investment.

    5. It can potentially be either or both – you’ll definitely need to work out the specifics with them. I’d also consult an attorney – by taking on ownership you are also taking on the business risks. Make sure the contract/agreement is review by someone on your side that is experienced in this area.

    6. My interpretation would be a % of ownership (aka stock), but regardless of what it is, will need to be documented in some sort of official documentation. It’s definitely something you should be asking for more detail on from the other senior management of the company. And if they did give you stuff, have a lawyer look at it!

    7. OP here – thanks for all the advice thus far. There’s definitely enough nuance to this that I’d prefer to get legal advice. Recommendations on where to find a small business attorney? I’m in Pittsburgh.

       1. If you have any friends who are attorneys, start with them.

    8. I would nail this down further, but in startupland, it is usually an equity interest in the fully-diluted capitalization of the stock. And I would be very, very wary if this is a partnership.

14. I may need to travel from the US to Nicaragua because of my job. I’ve been to Mexico and Honduras for work, but not Nicaragua before. There’s a level 3 travel advisory out and I’m not feeling really comfortable with this trip- with my blond hair and blue eyes I will stand out, and I don’t speak any Spanish. Our group of 5 or so will have people who work there with us for the whole trip but I’m still concerned. Any advice? Should I go? I feel like my boss is seeing me as difficult for hesitating.

    1. Honestly, yes, I think you should go. You can ask about what areas you’ll be in, where you will be staying, how you’ll be traveling from Point A to Point B, what safety measures will be taken, but unless there’s something far outside of ordinary business travel, I think a refusal will really damage your reputation with your boss.

    2. I would not go. Personally.

    3. How did you feel in Honduras? My (very removed) opinion is that Honduras seems more violent than Nicaragua. Personally, if I were accompanied by 5 people who work there, I would feel reasonably comfortable. Also depends on the nature of your job — is this the kind of thing you signed up for or not?

       1. I have a longer post in moderation, but is your opinion based on Nicaragua before the protests and violence started in April? Nicaragua before April was very safe for the region. Nicaragua now is very dangerous—not worth going to unless you’re doing humanitarian work. I say this as a person with a bunch of family that just reluctantly and with great sadness fled the country.

       2. Honduras didn’t bother me much at all, I felt fairly safe and everyone was armed to the teeth.

    4. My understanding is the government is cracking down on citizen dissidents, not so much that outsiders are being targeted. Unless the nature of your work might suggest to the government that you are spying for the U.S., I would go and follow any instructions given by the local hosts. YMMV. I am not big on being overly cautious in the work travel context.

    5. IDK, on most of my business trips I don’t spend much time outside of the hotel and/or client office unless I want to. My understanding is the violence is related to internal politics and I’m not sure you being white is relevant to those politics. The travel advisory doesn’t say anything about kidnappings or anything.

       1. Good point Torin, thank you.

          1. If it’s a business trip and you stay in major hotels and use recommended transport, you should be ok. I don’t mean to freak you out and realize this is pure anecdote, but will personally not go to Nicaragua because two of my law school classmates who had taken a trip there were kidnapped, taken by car to an ATM where they were held at gunpoint and asked to empty their credit cards, then abandoned in the middle of nowhere until a kind soul found them and called the police. Again, this was very unfortunate and could happen in several locations, but still, be cautious (they were backpacking through villages though).

       2. Yeah, this. I have gone to a variety of countries with Level 3 travel advisories, and two with a Level 4. None in central America, but central asia and the middle east. I’d recommend staying at a Western hotel, which will have good security. You probably are, but make sure your employer isn’t cheaping out. When I went to particularly dangerous places, we had all of our ground transport arranged in advance and didn’t spend any time outside client site, arranged transport, and hotel. But that was in Tehran, as the Iranian government has a tendency to randomly detain Americans. We didn’t go to those lengths even in say, Karachi. But you may want to arrange transit from the airport in advance if the hotel doesn’t provide it.

          1. WAIT — you’re been to Tehran? I haven’t been there since my family fled. I didn’t realize that it was the sort of place where one went for work. Seriously, seriously, aren’t there sanctions? Don’t Americans notice a passport stamp upon your return?

             I never thought I could go back in my lifetime and this is sort of mind-blowing.

             1. Americans can visit Iran. It’s permitted and not an issue. There are risks involved in visiting while you’re there but the US govtpermits it.

    6. I would suggest getting a car with a driver or a security escort if appropriate for the duration of the trip. My work provides the security detail in certain places where it is necessary. I would definitely ask the client for guidance/recommendations.

    7. I would not go. I have no firsthand experience with Nicaragua (or Honduras) but Level 3 means the US government has evacuated non-essential personnel. That’s a level of risk that I’m not comfortable with. .

    8. Thank you all for your input. It is still a bit up in the air, and in my opinion not essential travel but we are trying to impress a customer while fixing a problem they are experiencing in our supply chain. I think those further up the ladder think the optics on this will be great (“we are so concerned about this that we are sending x number of people straight to the factory to handle this directly!”). If it does come right down to it, I will demand that I don’t go. My company is usually good about providing transportation and staying in Western hotels, but I’ve never been to Nicaragua, before April or after. I take travel warnings seriously and want to be sure that my group is safe.

15. I am considering taking a contract position in the Bay area. I have never worked as an independent contractor before, and have also never worked in such a HCOL location. Can anyone verify my rough tax math? By my calculations, I would pay 35% federal income tax + 15.3% self employment tax + 9.3 state income tax + 1.5% SF City tax. That’s 61.1% tax on my income! That means I’d take home about $100K of a $250K salary. Is that accurate? (not factoring any deductions, etc.) I don’t have dependents and don’t currently own a home.

    Any good questions to ask during negotiations or tips for reducing the tax burden?

    1. There’s no SF city tax – not sure where you’re getting that from; I’m also not aware of an extra self-employment tax – sometimes you have to file quarterly estimates but the total percentage of your income doesn’t go up because you’re self employed. Talk to an accountant (I’m not one) but I’ve just never heard of two of those points.

       1. I’m a tax attorney. The total percentage DOES go up if you are self-employed versus a W-2 employee. When you are an employee you’re employer pays half and you pay half (out of your paycheck). When you’re self-employed (or a contract employee) you pay both halves.

          OP: You need a CPA. Turbo Tax is great until you’re self-employed…then there are just too many variables and you’ll need some actual advice / answers to questions that Google can’t answer.

          1. Thanks, anonymous tax attorney. All the helpful responses here have made me see that I definitely need a CPA.

    2. I have no analysis on what you’ve posted, but if you do take the job, I encourage you to look into buying into California’s social insurance for things like maternity and family care leave. It’s pretty inexpensive (I think like 1%) and quite good as these things go. It’s automatically included for most employees, but I think self-employed people have to opt-in.

    3. There are tax calculators, plus remember that tax is progressive. You won’t pay 35% on ALL of that income, and you may be able to deduct some of the state or income tax.

    4. I don’t think you pay 35% of your whole income. It’s a graduated bracket. So its (lowest bracket %)* lowest bracket amt + (next bracket %)*(next bracket amt-lowest bracket amt) and so on.

       Reduce your taxable income through a traditional IRA and HSA. And SEP IRA? I’m not 100% sure about that last one but my SO uses it and he’s mostly a freelancer.

    5. OP here – thanks for the replies. I will definitely talk to an accountant before I make any decisions.

       1. Ask your accountant how they will go about calculating quarterly tax filings for you. It’s a pay-as-you-go system, so you submit your tax on a quarterly filing basis, with any underpayment due at time of filing in april of following year.
          So, for your 2019 taxes you pay estimated tax: Q1-19 due April 15, 2019; Q2-19 due June 15, 2019; Q3-19 due September 15, 2019, Q4-19 due January 15, 2020 and any underpayment (and underpayment penalties) due April 15, 2020.
          Be prepared to set aside enough cash each month for making these payments.

          Also, the IRS has a publication (IRS Pub for self-employed that goes into a bunch of things you will need to be at least passingly familiar with. It’s dense but organized well and in plain English. Search for IRS Publication Self-Employed and that will bring up the info.

          Good luck – don’t get intimidated, just keep asking your accountant questions until you feel comfortable with what you know. You’ve got this.

          1. Thank you so much! I will check out that IRS pub and start looking for an accountant.

    6. I’min the Bay Area work a lot and it is DARN expensive. Lunch is never ever under $10 but often closer to $15 if you are eating out. My normal SBUX order is a dollar more here (that’s one drink!). Only produce is cheaper than on the East Coast. Drinks are $12 and up most places. I came from a big East Coast city and am a CA native and the Bay Area prices are eye-popping, even for me.

16. Before April, Nicaragua was fairly safe with standard precautions for the region. My family declared it the safest country in the region (though there’s natural bias there). Now, it’s akin to a war zone.

    Unless your work is something like Doctors Without Borders, International Rescue Committee, or assessing political violence, don’t go. If you are with an international humanitarian group, would you please tell me which one and how I can donate to your Nicaragua work? Because I literally can’t find one reputable international NGO operating to alleviate the suffering there. Or with the massive numbers of Nicaraguan refugees in Costa Rica.

    I’m an American of Nicaraguan descent. My family members with citizenship elsewhere have gotten out—with great sadness and reluctance, but they’ve gotten out. It’s super painful for them, but they’re starting new lives out of the country, leaving behind businesses they’ve devoted their lives to building.

    It’s really, really dangerous, with lots of political motivated killing by those affiliated with the president there. Of peaceful protesters. Of infants and toddlers who maybe had family members who wouldn’t support the president’s gangs or who peacefully protested. Of medical professionals who treated wounded peaceful protesters. Hundreds of people have been murdered by state-affiliated thugs and state actors since April. Little to no business is getting done.

    I don’t know how it would be for you, as a foreigner (maybe safer?), but I wouldn’t risk it unless you’re there for important humanitarian reasons. How would you get out of the country if there’s a sudden increase in violence? What if American leadership says something ill-advised that puts you at greater risk while you’re there?

17. In one sentence how do you know when it’s time to quit a job?

    And have you ever quit without having another job first? Did you regret it?

    1. Can’t take it anymore. Necessary for mental health to get out.

       Yes. I had had an interview for another job but not an offer secured yet. Fortunately, I got the offer so it all worked out. But I think even if I had not gotten that offer, it was time to leave the job I couldn’t stand any longer. I had reached the desperate point of needing to get out above all else.

       Since then, I’ve been on the other side – hiring people. And I have viewed with suspicion several people who quit without the next job lined up. My own experience perhaps make me more sympathetic, but it’s still far from ideal. Suck it up at the current job (while looking for the next job) unless/until you really can’t stand it anymore. Sorry you’re in this situation! It will get better, one way or another.

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