ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 199 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: 3/4 Sleeve Dress

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A woman wearing a light pink 3/4 sleeve dress and brown flat sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I love a long-sleeved dress for work. It’s so much easier to pick one piece of clothing and go about my business, rather than trying to put together a whole outfit. With the temperatures rising, I also don’t need to be quite as concerned with layering to keep myself warm.

This A-line dress from Lands’ End might be a bit casual for an extremely formal office, but it would definitely fly in the business casual offices I’ve spent time in. Add some jewelry and you’ve got yourself an easy springtime look. 

The dress is $99.95 at Lands’ End and comes in sizes XS-XL, XSP-XLP, and 1X-3X. If pink isn’t your thing, there’s also a navy striped version.

Sales of note for 4/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
  • Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
  • The Fold – 25% off selected lines
  • Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
  • Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
  • J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
  • J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card

199 Comments

  1. For last week’s commenter on Buru, I wore a blouse from there the other day to work in my BigLaw office. I have always gotten tons of compliments on it, mostly from the young / hip kids (the kind with spendy sneakers and bags who know what the latest cool bar is). It’s basically just clothes you can style for your day. But I will add that the dresses run long, so if you are tall, you may want to check out their longer skirted dresses. I had to get one seriously hemmed and I’m 5-5.

    1. fun! which top? i get thrown by the way they have the website set up with flat lays instead of models

      1. One of the solid long-sleeve “fringe” ones. They are just textured fabrics (vs something flapper).

  2. How stressed out do you get by your job and what do you think makes you more/less stressed?

    I have some friends who routinely get stressed out by work – Sunday scaries, nervous about changes in workload, what their boss said etc. I generally don’t feel like that and I know its in part because I like my job more but also its work, there will be ups and downs, I’ll deal with problems when they actually come up. Maybe I’m too blase about it, who knows.

    1. I don’t find my actual work stressful, but my boss is very stressful – micromanager, high intensity, inconsistent, just a poor manager all around. So that makes my job stressful as a result and is a reason I’m desperately job searching. I read once that people don’t leave jobs, they leave managers, and that has always been the case for me throughout my career.

    2. I used to (BigLaw 1, horrible manager) but at BigLaw 2 in smaller city as a SME / individual contributor role, never. I think it’s finding a role that suits me (I’d prefer a team, but the 2008 crisis upended that). I also think I stopped caring so much (I still do good work but I’m content to not be a rock star and work in a no-screamer field).

    3. In previous, toxic BigLaw job, I got the Sunday scaries, 2am panic wake ups and all of that. Thought it was just part of who I was. Switched jobs to a job where I can fully disconnect every evening (work phone stays downstairs) and all of that has disappeared. Still get stressed from time to time when I have a big presentation but most of the being stressed about work has disappeared.

    4. I get too stressed out and I know this about myself. I also have a job where things can turn on a dime and I get thrown into crisis mode. Not every day or every week, but often enough that it keeps me on my toes. At least half of my work also has strict deadlines with no wiggle room for negotiation, which means the stuff that doesn’t have a solid deadline constantly gets pushed off and that adds another level of stress.

      All part of the deal, but I would like to be more chill.

    5. I had a really stressful dysfunctional job out of my MA, and was so, so stressed. Then I went back for my PhD and honestly, I’ve not found academic life to be that stressful. Think it’s a mix of maturity and independence (and the fact that people weren’t shouting, crying etc in the office).

      I will say, the last year has been much more stressful and I’m not sure I’m handling it well. UK higher ed is in crisis, and teaching, which I once got a decent amount of satisfaction has become soul destroying. Plagiarism, non-attendance, 8 students just left my workshop halfway through the other day which was really embarassing?! I am dynamic, interesting, kind in the classroom but if you don’t show up/look up from your phone, then it feels like all that work is wasted. I’d rather be in my office writing than being ignored by 19 year olds.

    6. There isn’t a right answer and this just feels like you think your friends are wrong. People are different and that’s ok.

    7. I am quite stressed out and apparently as a result have been taking things too personally. My largest challenge is a sheer amount of tasks and projects I need to manage. I am good at multitasking but it’s getting beyond my abilities

      1. 100 percent there with you. I often feel extended beyond my capacity. And I honestly don’t know if I’m the problem, or if it’s how my position is set up.

      2. Getting the multiple concurrent projects and tasks to their deadlines isnt the true problem for me.

        Its the urgent side quests and roadblocks that come up and prevent the smooth sailing that makes me stressed.

        Accuracy and completeness of information is incredibly important for my role and we’re working with teams who dont have the same priority.

        I get stressed when I have to go out and shake people down to get what I need, often on a time crunch.

        1. replying to myself – I dont think about work on my time off anymore really. Rarely get the sunday scaries anymore. Work things that keep me awake tend to be noodling over how to solve a problem (how can I verify X data point, or back into Y amount given A and B) but not really anxiety about work.

          Not having a work phone or email on my personal phone helps.

          If theres a conversation happening that would effect a deadline in the AM or Monday morning waiting for an urgent response etc Ill check in on a weekend or evening but that happens maybe once every other month.

    8. At my old job, it happened a lot. I was constantly worried or feeling anxious about something. That plus a toxic manager made for tough times.

      At my new job, I have some stressful periods where maybe I have a lot going on. But I’ve got better boundaries in place, a supportive boss, and knowledge that once I get through a stressful period, I usually have a slower time that I can use to recuperate.

    9. Not at all and I have an objectively “high stress” job. The trick is not conflating my employer’s problems with my own. I’m there to solve them and do that to the best of my abilities, but at the end of the day, they don’t come home with me. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect or don’t have moments of stress, but they’re pretty rare.

      1. This is where I am. A combination of a chronic life crisis that really goes beyond the pale, then the pandemic got me here. I’m just not gonna get wound up when Chad’s deal might close on the 3rd instead of the 31st.

    10. So funny, I was just thinking about this morning. I am constantly stressed about my job, across multiple jobs, many years, etc. I think it’s a combination of multiple things: intense money / security fear instilled during childhood that makes the downside risk of losing a job seem devastating, and then college at HYP plus an anxious overachiever career path immediately post-college that created this false narrative in my head that certain career paths were “right”. Both of those turned this on overdrive and even leaving those environments I am still the same. Believe me, I’d love to be different. I really envy my less career stressed friends.

      1. I think all of these things do contribute to it! It’s hard to turn off that HYP or Big Job level of urgency that they instill in you, even when it no longer makes sense.

    11. Very situational for me. I’ve generally had good bosses but the key factor has been workload. I also think experience has brought more stress–I didn’t have as high of stakes in my 20s and 30s. Through the years I’ve seen too many people let go without notice due to structural change/no fault of their own/mismatch with leadership. And having quit and been let go once and actually experienced how difficult it was to get an equally high-level job in my niche field has made the possibility “feel” more real (plus the reality of ageism).

    12. I generally love what I do at work, but I have been very stressed lately, which is manifesting in insomnia and tooth grinding. My organization is implementing some major structural changes which probably eliminate my role in the next 1-2 years, and I’m senior enough that I have to be on the planning committee. On top of that, the Trump/Musk administration is targeting my institution, and their proposed Medicaid cuts will tank our finances even further. Every day is a new (not-fun) adventure.

      Before all of this, I was rarely stressed by my job. That was how I knew it was a good one.

    13. In think of your job stresses you out you need to new job.

      I work in a “high stress” job but I love it so my job itself doesnt stress me out. My boss and I have a good personal relationship but she’s not a great boss but 95% of the time I can shrug off her craziness. I never get the Sunday scaries. There are times when my job downright sucks (4 week TDY staying in a red roof in and living off fast food…) but I still like it.

      I’ve had other jobs that weren’t the right fit. I was unhappy and stressed. I left and it got so much better.

      Ofc, I work in government now and everything is stressful but that’s not the job’s fault

    14. DH pointed out that all of my work complaints are about people, not the actual work. I’ve managed to not be so stressed out by a high workload, but idk how to not be stressed by difficult, unreasonable people. I remind myself that it’s not about me or anything I’m doing, they clearly have their own problems, but I still have to figure out how to move the ball forward despite people who are roadblocks.

    15. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I have been in a stressful job for 15+ years (Biglaw, very demanding clients) and dealing with it just fine, until lately when the stress is really getting to me. The difference: the stress isn’t coming from demanding clients and difficult deals, it’s coming from internal politics and toxic team members. That kind of stress started to really affect me physically. That was interesting observation for me.

      1. Same, fighting with your business partners and people who are supposed to be on your team feels a lot different than fighting with opposing counsel or a difficult client. Some days I think hanging my own shingle would be better, even though I’d have to figure out a lot of business stuff I don’t want to deal with.

  3. This is a strange question, but did anyone’s feet get bigger after COVID? I remember returning to my office in 2022 and feeling like my office shoes were snug. And I’m definitely a full half size up for running shoes (thought the first pair was just a brand quirk). I haven’t had any kids. So weird!

    1. yes, I think this is pretty common. A couple of years of not wearing confining shoes allowed your foot to take more of its natural, wider, shape.

      2. That’s probably true!

        I used to get foot cramps all the time. I’m realizing that I don’t anymore, and I am pretty sure it’s because I prioritize comfort above all else in my footwear. For work, I no longer wear heels or any style that makes me grip with my toes. I also wear running shoes, sneakers, and Birks when I’m off duty. What do you know … my feet are much happier and I rarely get foot cramps anymore!

    3. Yes! Two years of being barefoot or wearing birkenstocks/sneakers instead of office shoes and the front of my feet definitely got a little more duck shaped. I didn’t go up a size, but I can’t wear narrow flats as comfortably anymore.

    4. Yes, although I don’t know that it is contributable to Covid rather than just normal changes. Adult bodies don’t change as much as when we were kids, but we are still not static beings.

      1. Boy, isn’t this the truth. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to accept that my body is just different now. I’m healthy and active. But it’s shaped somewhat differently than five or 10 years ago.

      2. My feet have gotten larger every few years of my adult life. When I started working I wore an 8. I now wear a 10.5. A few sizes I blamed on pregnancy. I also always wore flats for work and sneakers for commuting so there wasn’t a big change in size during Covid.

    5. I think this is normal. Women’s feet are more lax than men’s at baseline, and everyone’s feet are affected by gravity over time to spread out a little. Also a lot of shoes are compressing, so if we spend more time not wearing shoes, our feet can splay out more. I think this can happen in either a bad way (inadequate support and collapse) or a good way (building more muscle tone). But most women eventually develop a more duck shaped foot since the heel stays the same width but the toe box needs more space.

    6. Yep, my Converse were fine, but everything else feels snug and uncomfortable. Guess 18 months not wearing shoes (we don’t wear shoes at home) will do that to you.

    7. My feet randomly gained almost half a size right before COVID. This was more than a decade after I had my kid, when I had recently lost weight thanks to getting rid of Mirena, and when I was wearing shoes all day every day in the office. I think the ligaments in our feet just relax with aging, beyond anything caused by pregnancy or weight or shoe choice.

    8. part of this is aging — i was always a 7.5, 8 and now i’m a 9, 9.5 w. it’s your arches falling and thus widening out your foot. if you spend a lot of time during covid barefoot or in socks that could definitely have made it happen.

  4. I posted yesterday about feeling like I can’t trust my judgement – thank you for all the responses. I’ve been thinking it over and I’m going to 1) just stop asking for input as much. No one needs to weigh in on everything I do or say and 2) embrace the question of “How am I going to be most comfortable, even if its different from what others would do?”

    I think this basically strikes at the heart of the issue. I’m not indecisive in restaurants like one commenters’ sister but I think for larger (but not by much!) decisions than that I’m nervous about “getting it wrong”. When really its not about getting it right or wrong, its about what makes sense for me. I do think this is linked to how critical my mom was/is annoyingly.

    1. Thank you for asking the question yesterday — I really liked reading all the comments. Good luck! This is a complex thing to undo.

    2. Something that it took me far too long to realize was that people who don’t do things “the right way” still end up with good and satisfying lives. Once I realized that, it made all of my decision making processes far less fraught.

    3. I like this. Lately, I tell myself I’m trying to be a satisficer and not a maximizer to get past decision paralysis and it helps a bit. (There’s a Pyschology Today article about these types of decision-makers if you’re not familiar). Particularly in low-stakes decision making, too much time/energy spent with little difference in outcome just isn’t worth it even though I do want EVERYTHING to be perfect. But the new goal is to be satisfied (to pick a good enough option & be satisfied).

      1. yes! I am right there with you. I recently signed a lease for a new apartment and took the satisfier approach and went for the second apartment I saw, but overanalyzing is so ingrained in me that I keep waiting for something to go terribly wrong since I didn’t agonize over the decision for a month first.

    4. Good luck! I think many of us have struggled with this issue. I don’t know if this resonates, but if you have perfectionist tendencies at all, this will be magnified. I have had to work at letting go. Some things require and benefit from a bit of perfectionism. Choosing an outfit to wear to a wedding is just not one of those things, you know?

      1. A few years ago, I realized that it was OK. to give a mediocre gift. Just get something or give cash and call it a day. I really used to stress about having the “right,” and “meaningful” gift. No more.

        2. Oh man, I obsess over gifts. Gift giving is my love language so I really want every gift to be special and meaningful (and I pride myself on being a really good gift giver). I wish I had an easier time of letting go! Same with finding the “perfect” outfit for events.

      2. The weird thing is that I am not perfectionist or type A at all. It’s like I don’t care that much, but I’m worried that other people (my mother deep in my head) will care a LOT, and then I get tied up in that. Choosing an outfit to wear to a wedding is not the end of the world at all.

    5. I am a perfectionist. I am also Old. As a young adult insured from indecision paralysis and overworking on things that didn’t deserve it. Long ago I forced myself to assess whatever was at hand and decide if it really needed a grade A level effort. If not, does it need B? C? Or if none of those does it truly require any real effort on my part? I’m still a perfectionist on A’s but the rest is just make a decision or do the task, and just get it done and move on.

  7. Has anyone bought pants from Halara? Their ads are stalking me on social media and must be working, because I’ve been thinking that athleisure masquerading as work pants would be nice for a couple of cross-country work trips I have coming up. I’m thinking of their high waisted straight or wide leg “work pants” with a fitted top, blazer, and sneakers. Not going straight to any meetings, but want to be presentable for hotel arrival at a conference, etc. I’m a pear with short muscular legs, pretty reliably size 10 in pants. Any reviews or recommendations?

    1. is there a reason that jeans don’t work for this? I like Kut from the Kloth for travel since they’re the perfect amount of stretch for comfort, but are in fact real pants and look like it.

          1. you do you, but with the popularity of slouchy and stretchy boyfriend jeans, my jeans were comfortable enough to sleep in on an overnight flight, and I didn’t feel like a slob walking around before I got to the hotel.

    2. I bought some of their shorts and a workout top after being stalked by their ads on social media. They’re…fine. Cheap synthetic fabric but they haven’t fallen apart or anything. I wouldn’t get anything expecting to wear to work but I bet they’d be ok for trying to look presentable on a plane!

    3. Not specifically, but I am a pear and wear Talbots ponte knit trousers for travel. They are real pants, but comfortable, and I am dressed appropriately when I run into colleagues and clients on the plane.

    4. I have the high waisted pull on wide legged jeans. I love them for work from home/travel days. The look like jeans but I could legit wear them as pajamas. I am a pear with plenty of thigh and they work great for me. I am normally a 4 and got a small. The size chart is pretty spot on.

    5. I havent tried Halara, but love my Chico’s Brigitte pants for travel. They are pull-on, stretch, no wrinkle, but still appear as trousers.

    6. I have to say I really hate that the fashion industry has convinced us all we need special clothes for the plane.

      1. I’ve always worn special clothes for the plane, long before sets and the like came into vogue. Plane travel is a thing and so is comfort.

    7. Last Christmas, I got a gift card from Halara and so bought 8 pairs of pants to try. One pair was okay. Slightly cheap feeling fabric, but stretchy and comfy. Everything else was straight-up trash. Horribly thin and plasticy-feeling fabric, terrible construction, horrendous fit. They also have a terrible return policy.

  9. Friends, I need jeans recommendations. Here’s what I’m hoping for:
    Straight leg
    No distressing

    I’m 5’2″, with some hips and a butt.

    Any recs for jeans you like are welcome! Thanks!

    3. Also 5’2, bit of a stomach and thighs.

      Wit & Wisdom or Democracy Absolution have been my go-tos lately. Find them at Rack, Amazon, or I buy thrifted on ThredUp.

    4. This describes me. I’m wearing Gap High Rise ’90s Straight Jeans in petite sizes. They’re very flattering. There are a few colors that may fit what you’re looking for.

      1. I’m also wearing these and loving them. I also measured my body and ordered according to the size chart rather than the number I think I should be.

    5. Same build and I’ve weirdly been loving the Old Navy WOW high waist straight leg jeans. They are super cheap but they’re comfortable and available in petites.

  10. Recommendations please:
    After some internet sleuthing I realize I am not up to the task…..I am interested in hiring a firm to dig up either/or of my ancestors to obtain Irish or German citizenship. We are in the tri-state area and as such would prefer a local firm.

    2. not sure Germany will grant you citizenship based on ancestry – I think that’s a particular Irish legal notion. With the exception of any ancestors being stripped of German citizenship under the Nazis maybe. Other than that, you need to establish a connection to the country today.

    3. This sounds like a bit of a pipe dream. Citizenship requires closer relation.

    4. You don’t need to sleuth. Embassies usually have this info linked on their homepage. 1800s is a pretty tenuous connection. Most ‘skip a generation’ citizenships are based on you being eligible if your parents were eligible via your grandparents and it was lost because someone wasn’t on the ball with getting paperwork done.

  12. I truly have no idea where my money goes. I feel overwhelmed at the idea of getting all this info in one place. I have moved 6 times in 10 years and have probably 15 bank accounts, 3-7 investment accounts, 5-8 credit cards. I know I am current on taxes and am not in debt, but my spending is not planned and making a budget or investment plan feels insurmountable. Every app I have downloaded wants all the info and I legit have no idea where it all is. I want to start paying more attention but cannot seem to force myself to collect everything on one of my rare free weekends. Is there any consultant out there who I can pay not-crazy-money to get on zoom with me a few times and make me just “do it,” get everything together? Or is there a printable that would walk me how to do this in 5min/day, even if it takes me 2 months? I need something to get me started and am paralyzed by the start :( My bills are auto paid by all different accounts and I could not even tell you why…

    1. Oh man, I feel for you. I migrated from a “splitter” to a “lumper” about a decade ago. Step 1 was deciding which primary bank and brokerage house I wanted to use as my primary and enlisted in their customer support to help me. I started a list of what I knew and set a goal to migrate one account or make one phone call each Saturday morning while drinking my coffee. Some went quickly, some took forever and I’m enormously grateful to Fidelity customer support who did a lot of heavy lifting for me.

      As I got deeper into the project I’d remember new bills, new recurring payments, that one HSA from whenever ago and I’d add it to my spreadsheet.

      Most places will email, call or mail you a letter if you miss a payment. The ones that don’t maybe I didn’t actually need?

      One thought process that was helpful was “If I died and my Mom had to close my estate, where would she start?”

    2. I would be overwhelmed too!! I’d have to treat this as a long term project, it took 10 years to get into this situation, so taking one year to fix it is not unreasonable.
      Is there a reason that you have so many accounts? Particularly bank accounts? If there is no additional context, I’d start consolidating those, to 4 or fewer.
      I’d keep the one with the oldest credit card, the one you actively use and where you receive income, possibly others if there is a reason. For those that you no longer need, look over the last year of transactions, see what bills are being paid from this account, or if you are receiving money there still. Basically, identify any recurring or potentially recurring transactions. Then change those to one of the accounts that you are keeping and close that account. Repeat until you have sufficiently few accounts so that you can keep track of them.

      1. This seems like my initial instinct too. Instead of trying to organize chaos, maybe just eliminate pieces of the chaos step by step. Similar to Marie Kondo (originally) don’t make yourself nuts with storage, just get rid of stuff.

    3. A financial advisor can help you sort through all this. Go to NAPFA dot com and find a fee-only financial planner in your area. Many of them will do sessions over Zoom if that is your preference. You have recognized the problem and taking the first steps to fix it and that’s huge! Be kind to yourself, you will get through this.

    4. I think this will take less time than you think. I’d pick a primary bank and move all your money there, you can do that online pretty easily, close accounts after the money transfers. Similarly pick a couple of credit cards to use and cancel the rest. Move your auto bill pay to your primary account. It could all get done on a Saturday morning. I don’t see it as something an app will help you with, you just gotta do it. In small chunks, make transfers on a coffee break until you’re done.

    5. I’ll second the it took 10 years to get in the mess, it’s ok if it takes a while to get out. I would start with one item, maybe closing one account and moving any bills paid from it to another account. Then next week do one more. Meanwhile, grab a notebook and start writing down things as they happen. It will get less messy and easier to fix things as you go along, but you can literally start with 5 minutes a week and make progress.

    6. Take a day off every quarter as a “financial wellness work” day. Go to a nice cafe with your laptop and start collecting and collating stuff for your finances. Find all those old 401Ks from previous jobs and save all the info in one place.
      Taking a day off work is key for this, I know its hard to do it on weekends.

      1. Please don’t take your financial statements to a cafe or other public space! This is a recipe for identity theft especially for someone who doesn’t have tight control of their accounts.

        1. +1

          Get yourself a coffee, sure, but bring it home and use your own wifi for this. Don’t haul ID theft materials to a public location.

    7. Pull your credit report and see how many open credit lines you have. Get all your credit card information into one place.

      Get a ChexSystems report, which will have all of your bank account information.

      Get your pay deposited into one account and all bills auto-paid out of that same account.

      At this point, your other bank accounts are just sitting there: no money coming in or going out. So that makes them sort of like savings accounts, even if they are checking accounts.

      Make a budget from your primary account. Input those numbers into the budgeting app and ignore the other accounts (trust me on this). Ignore the investment accounts. We are going to do baby budgeting: pretend that you’re 22, fresh out of school, and just getting started.

      Now you’re at least on a budget. You can see how much you’re spending every month and can decide how much fun money you have.

      Close most of your bank accounts. Pick one account per week to close. Move the money to savings.

      Pull your taxes from prior years and find out which years you contributed to 401k accounts. List the employers and then call them up if you can’t find the plan.

    8. You can do it and there’s no easy way out. You just need to start. You don’t need to finish everything all at once! This weekend, write down all the credit cards you have, what their balances are, and how you pay them. It’s just a start.

    9. I am a paper-and-pencil budgeter, and keep track of every expense in a notebook. The act of viewing my accounts and writing things down in hard copy makes it seem more real to me, and I am very familiar with all the workings of my income and expenditures because of it. I’ll give you my advice from that perspective and you can take it or leave it.

      I would start by focusing on the current month, rather than trying to backtrack. It will give you a snapshot of where you are now, and since you say yours bills are paid I’m not sure you need to go backwards. Do one of these actions each night – it should only take 5-10 minutes.

      1) make a list of all your accounts/credit cards; set up a notebook page (or excel sheet) with income and spending category headers

      2) review your paycheck and input (on the sheet you set up) your income and all the places your pretax dollars go

      3+) each night, choose one account or card, review it for the month of March to date, input all transactions into your sheet

      4) once you are caught up, pick 2-3 times per month to review active accounts, input spending, and settle up at the end of the month

      I agree with closing/consolidating bank accounts to the amount you are able. You could also close some of the newer credit cards, or put them in a drawer so you don’t use them but still get the credit history benefit

    10. find an online account that you like — mint used to be great for collecting all accounts, i’ve been using simplifi but i think posters here have mentioned another one they like better. but that way once you get everything in one spot it’ll be easy to check on everything.

      run a credit check first – that should tell you every credit account first in one place, and i’ll bet you have banks tied to a lot of your credit cards.

    11. OP, can you get a nerdy friend to come over and help you do this? If you were my friend, I’d be happy to sit with you and keep you on task and help you figure this out piece by piece, while we drank coffee and hung out together.

      1. +1

        I would totally be your friend to help with this. Hearing your situation makes me anxious and want to clean it up for you! Ask friend if you can take them out to lunch/dinner and spend a few hours with you holding your hand with this. Pay for meals, and give them a great gift afterwards.

    12. Start with one task at a time. Number one would seem to be consolidating bank accounts. So:
      1a) pick one bank to consolidate into (or, if there are benefits of different account, like a HYSA, identify those and be ok with having more than one bank)
      1b) identify autopays set up for accounts you’re going to close
      1c) change autopays to come out of one account
      1d) transfer money out of the to be closed accounts into accounts you’re keeping
      1e) close the now empty unnecessary accounts

      Then do the same thing with investment accounts. FWIW I’ve been working on consolidating investment accounts – with the help of an advisor – for years and there are still some stragglers. I actually regret getting an advisor because he wasn’t exactly going to help me consolidate into Vanguard, where my 401k is, because then he doesn’t get to manage it. So now my money is still in 3 different places (down from 6) and I’ve given up on doing better than that.

    13. For budgeting I found Dave Ramsey worked. I agree with the approach of taking a year to consolidate accounts. Budget wise, when I have a goal things magically happen.

      YNAB is good with helping you through the budgeting process. It’s not free but it worked for me.

    14. For budgeting I found Dave Ramsey worked. I agree with the approach of taking a year to consolidate accounts. Budget wise, when I have a goal things magically happen.

      YNAB is good with helping you through the budgeting process. It’s not free but it worked for me.

      1. I think taking a year to do this will only prolong the pain. It feels overwhelming right now, but it probably won’t be that many actual hours once you get into it. Take 30 min this weekend to make a list of everything you have and the goals you hope to achieve. Then I would go down the list and knock out 2-3 a week. Rip off the bandaid and you can be sorted out in a month

        1. Yep, this could all be sorted in a day for the big stuff with maybe an errand or two if some banks require her to go in to close an account. It’s not even a full day. It’s the classic definition of just do the thing.

    15. Just wanted to say I have been in this position, with a lot of financial stuff neglected. I think it’s helpful to just tackle one thing at a time, like getting access to one account and moving funds from it and closing it. Break it down into teeny pieces and tackle them. I am still chipping away at some things, but did get far enough to do a financial plan.

    16. I do this kind of work for a living –my clients say that I’m easy to talk to and never feel judged. Where are you?

    1. Hear hear! I read a recap of one episode that said it’s amazing how she always looks like her face is sliding off and I cannot stop thinking about it. I’ve seen a couple of snippets of interviews since and can confirm her face is otherwise firmly in place.

    2. Sometimes when I lose things I’ll bellow “WHERE’S BUSY BEE” and it doesn’t help me find the thing, but it does make me feel better.

  14. Are there any nurses here? I am trying to shift careers into nursing and doing some pre-reqs (the vary for the 3 local options I have: community college, private college, and large state U that is the furthest distance away; #1 and #2 are within a mile of my house). Not all require the TEAS, but some do. If you’ve taken it, how hard was it? I’ve done well on the SAT and other standardized tests in the past. I know you can retake it monthly, but it’s long and I’d like to do it well once (and doing well seems to be a priority vs other tests where you just need to pass). As I make up my summer calendar, how much time should I block out for it? Anatomy/phys is going to be fresh in my mind then. If it matters, I have a BA already but am having to catch up on some things for an ABSN program; I’m not eligible for the associates degree programs because I don’t have a CNA license.

    1. My husband is a second career nurse. He studied a bit for the test but not too much. I’d take a practice test and judge from there.

      For actually getting your credits – go to the cheapest place possible. No one cares where you get your nursing degree from. He’s no a CRNA, and same deal. Go to the cheapest program possible that is workable for you. Zero name premium for a “fancy” school in the job market. Nurses are so in demand.

      2. Nursing schools/programs report their stats for successful pass rates for RN state boards takers. (You can graduate from the nursing program but if you don’t then take and pass the state board, you are not a R.N.) For a long time, our local junior college had state boards pass rates that were significantly higher than our nearest state U (and at a much lower tuition costs, of course). They may still AFAIK.

        You might research that when you’re choosing where to attend. That’s an important indicator.

  15. How do you store your shoes? I need to clean and organize my closet and I’m torn between matching shoes back to their boxes and storing them that way or trashing the boxes and storing the shoes on shelves out of their boxes. I have about 70 pairs of shoes/boots and can probably ditch 20 pairs right off the bat that are worn or don’t fit in either size or lifestyle. Right now the boxes are nicely stacked, although I might be missing a few, and the shoes are in a pile where I kick them off after wearing them. I can usually stick to a decent organizing system once I develop one.

    1. Most of my shoes are out on shelves. I keep a basic pair of boots, sandals, or sneakers by the front door. The only ones in boxes are formal heels that I don’t wear often or nice out of season shoes. In general I like to see my belongings and hate barriers to access.

      1. +1

        This is what I do.

        Frequent use pairs of the season by the door.
        Rotators out on shelves.
        Very nice/expensive/dressy shoes kept carefully in boxes.

    2. Toss the boxes and shelve the shoes. Keep the left-side one facing the back; it looks cool and takes up less space. The only exceptions are satin or high-end designer shoes you may want to sell one day; keep those in the box.

    3. I keep the boxes. It keeps dust off the shoes and re-boxing them is a nice reminder to wipe down my shoes periodically and check the soles/fix any scuffs/touch up the shoe polish. The problem here isn’t the boxes, it’s that the shoes don’t belong in a pile.

      1. I tried to ditch the boxes and would up with a pile, including some boots. Team Boxes forever now.

        1. Me too. You can stack vertically and the shoes don’t get dusty. My house is weirdly not dust generating as a rule, but I think for the closets it’s lint from clothing.

    4. I have a shoe rack for anything I might wear regularly, and seasonal shoes (boots, sandals, etc) are usually stored on a closet shelf. I don’t keep any shoe boxes, that takes up a ton of space.

    5. I just overhauled my closet for shoe storage. Here’s what I did.

      I keep a couple of boxes, usually for expensive shoes, seasonal items, or where the box is small/useful for organization. For example, I kept my Rothy’s boxes for light color shoes because the boxes are small and protect the shoes from dust. I don’t keep the boxes for my black and navy Rothy’s that I wear year round. I’ve kept a couple of boxes for ankle boots where the boxes are smallish and do a good job containing the shoes and any stuck dirt (because realistically I’m not meticulously cleaning lug soled boots every time I wear them). I leave the boxes open but the shoes live in the box standing up. I find it useful to alternate boxes and open space for shoes so each pair has a designated home. Takes up less space and it’s easier to access than keeping all boxes.

      I recently got a zippered plastic top canvas shoe organizer that fits on the floor of my closet under my clothes to store things like boots (lying down) and slippers that I don’t need access to all the time, but I can still see them. I’ve been using that to rotate my winter/summer items off my shelves where I can access them more easily.

    6. I keep most of mine on closet shelves, at least the shoes that I generally only wear to work. I do keep special occasion shoes in their boxes, because there aren’t many of them and I wear them very rarely. I also keep my casual, frequently-worn shoes in a shoe cabinet in our mud room so that I can grab them quickly as I leave the house.

      For the closet shelves, I just picked up a bunch of plastic Murvel shoe organizers at IKEA that allow me to stack each pair so that they take up less space and I love them!

    7. I ordered 50 cardboard shoe boxes from Uline. Then I take a photo of the shoes and staple to the outside of the box.

  16. I have a pair of madewell jeans that developed an awful puckering at the crotch. They are 3 years old. I’m guessing maybe some elastic in the material failed? They are unwearable. I’ve never had jeans “fail” so this seems like a manufacturing default– anyone know whether Madewell will likely honor an exchange after 3 years? I don’t have a brick and mortar store anywhere near me, so would need to mail them in for a return.

    2. I’m sorry this is ridiculous no. You’ve worn them out this isn’t a defect you cannot return clothes you’ve been wearing three years.

    3. If they have some amount of elastane in them, then after 3 years I would consider this the normal lifecycle of the material if you have been regularly wearing them. You could reach out to customer service to see if they’ll give you a discount towards a new or replacement pair (if they still make that style), but I doubt they’ll exchange them at this point.

    4. Agreed. You’ve worn the jeans for three years. It’s absurd to try to return them now.

    6. I think this would constitute misuse of a return policy unless they had some kind of special lifetime guarantee.

      If you’re worried about elastics in garments failing, make sure you are sticking to cold water wash, line dry.

    7. Ok, got it. No need to be so rude in your responses. I have never had jeans wear out like this in my nearly 40 years of wearing jeans. I guess this brand just sucks/ I have higher expectations for the lifespan of my jeans than others on this board.

      1. Planned obsolescence has made it to clothing; you’ve been fortunate, but longevity even of jeans is hit or miss these days.

      2. You definitely can’t return them, but madewell will recycle them and you get a small credit ($20 I think?) towards a new pair

      3. Gently, it is not breaking news that fashion clothing isn’t manufactured from rugged enough materials and with workmanship of such high quality that it is buy-it-for-life.

        1. Right?? Also, the jeans probably cost, what, $120 max? Unless you’ve just time traveled here from a century ago, you know what you’re getting into.

    8. Madewell contrary to its name is not especially made well, the fabric failed, specifically the elastane, but you got 3 years out of them so you aren’t getting your money back. If you want to avoid this in the future you won’t have that problem with 100% cotton jeans.

  17. How/where do I resell a custom suit?

    Back in 2006, I had a classic skirt suit custom made in Hong Kong. It’s beautiful and classic, a mid weight wool, medium gray, fully lined, with a 23” pencil skirt and a 3-button jacket. I’d still wear it but my body has changed. The tricky thing is that my 2006 proportions were outliers — I was 5’9” and 125# but with very long arms, and the suit fit me perfectly. What should I do with it now?

    1. Do you have any interest in getting it tailored to fit your body now? If not, I think you would be able to sell it to a high-end consignment store.

      2. I’m assuming the body changes she mentions refer to her getting bigger, so it’s probably not possible.

    3. Sorry actually no one wants to buy your 15 year old weirdly sized suit. You hold onto it or donate it.

      2. +2. Apart from lightly worn or new designer clothing, the resale value of clothing is non existent, and even donations often end up in the landfill.

    4. I don’t agree that 3-buttom jackets for women are classic. I feel that 2 or 0 is classic, but not 3. Even if you are tall.

    5. agree that you have no chance of reselling it. could you have a vest made from the suit jacket? those are having a moment and it would be a nice reminder.

      otherwise just donate, maybe someone will take the fabric for scraps.

    6. I would donate, sorry. The jacket sounds a little dated (not sure when I last saw 3 buttons) and the odds that someone that has your same proportions and is willing to take a risk spending any significant amount on eBay or Poshmark or whatever seems slim.

  18. Pretty dress!!
    I am an idiot- bought a new iphone and did not get a screen protector (got an otter box though!) and of course I have a (surface level) small u-shaped crack. Can I get a screen protector now or should I bite the bullet and replace it? It is small. what vendor do you recommend for either protector or repair? Philly/main line/KOP area, if helpful.

    1. Vendor? Girl just get a stick on screen protector from Amazon. If the screen still works then I wouldn’t bother getting it repaired for a small crack.

    2. You can put a protector on; it’ll help keep the crack from getting bigger. I’ve done this even with seriously shattered screens and got several months more usage. Screen protector won’t “fix” the crack, so if it’s in a location that’s really bugging you or the touch screen isn’t working, you’ll have to replace. But it does keep it from getting worse and much cheaper than replacing of course!

    3. Buy a glass screen protector online, that is not a vendor job. Spigen is reputable if you don’t want to wing it with one of the rndm brands.

    4. Yeah, I really don’t want to replace the screen but wasn’t sure if the protector would stick properly… thanks for the recs!

  19. So, I really struggle to dress myself. I recently lost about 20 pounds, and I’m having trouble deciding what fits anymore and what doesn’t. This sounds so stupid, I know. But I can’t tell, is this just kind of loose and flowy, or does it look obviously too large? For pants, often when I put them on in the morning they seem fitted but then get baggy and shapeless over the course of the day. Any tips for making these evaluations of things that really don’t fit and I should get rid of, versus they’re looser but are fine?

    1. It could be they really are getting baggy by the end of the day, fabric & quality issue more than a fit issue

      If you’re not sure if the fit is really changing vs your eye perceiving differently after a while, maybe you could take morning & evening pictures – and look at them a day or two later?

    2. Do you have a friend, family member, or spouse who would spend an afternoon telling you what they think fits and looks good on you and what doesn’t to help you with a closet review? My DH is remarkably good at saying whether he thinks pants look good on me and why; counter-point, my dad would be terrible at this. I certainly would spend a few hours helping a friend as she tried on her clothes to see what fits and looks good as long as we were efficient about it.
      I find I can determine whether something fits well from the front but not the back. Even with a three way mirror, I cannot tell about the back.

    3. Get someone to take full-length photos of you in your outfit. I thought I was fine in some clothing after I lost weight until I saw a photograph and realized they were ridiculously too big and I looked absurd.

    4. If you almost 20 pounds and that’s more than about 10% of your body weight, your clothes probably don’t fit. It’s basically a dress size, so things won’t look right.

      “Loose and flowy” is about design of the clothing, not fit of clothes that aren’t designed to be that way.

      High quality pants won’t go from fitted in the morning to saggy at the end of the day.

    5. I lost 50 pounds over two years and had myself convinced that just buying smaller pants was all I needed to do. So when I changed out clothing for the warm season last spring (small closet) I took pictures of myself in my newish pants with my old tops.

      It was not good. I looked like I was playing dress-up in my mom’s clothing. I sent some of the pics to select friends and they agreed.

      So that was a nice excuse to go shopping. It’s hard to convince yourself that you’re done losing weight and it’s ok to buy new clothing, but you deserve it! Really!

      I feel great in my new tops. :)

  20. Office thermostat wars: early spring addition. I cannot understand why my office refuses to invest in sun/heat blocking window treatments. Another office in my firm has them. Our offices have a lot of windows facing directly east and directly west. So, as you can imagine, mornings are sweltering on the east side and frigid on the west, and that reverses in the afternoon.

    I cannot be sweating on video calls, especially not in zoom court hearings where I need to wear a suit jacket. The little old ladies near me all freak out if the office temp drops below 72. They demand the building has to turn on the heat — even if the sun is coming our way and will imminently heat up the space. It’s gotten over 80 in my office in the past. My office will be 71 at the beginning of a zoom hearing and 30 minutes into the hearing my office is now 80, but I’m stuck in front of the video and can’t go complain (they don’t answer emails). I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve begged the ladies to stop asking the building to turn on the heat but they keep doing it. I’ve begged the building to stop turning on the heat but they just get annoyed by the conflicting demands. The ladies in question are senior partners so none of the staff want to play referee here. My firm wants everyone back in the office but this is totally unreasonable, right?

    1. The answer is space heaters for the people who are cold, and you ask about installing window treatments that you purchase for your own office.

      Also, please don’t refer to senior partners as “little old ladies.” Even if they are, their word carries a lot of weight.

    2. oh, to be a fly on the wall when you tried to ask the senior partners to not control temperatures to their choosing

      1. Yeah that’s so entitled, I would never dream of telling the senior partners how to keep the office temperature. I have the opposite problem though, they’re chonky men and keep the office freezing so I always need a wrap.

      2. Keeping the office over 80 degrees is an OSHA violation. So yes, I’m absolutely telling my partners that’s not acceptable.

        1. This sounds more like you need a new job than a climate problem. The disdain for these women is palpable in your post. Find another job with colleagues and superiors you enjoy!

          1. Not OP but I have disdain for people who could easily solve the issue for themselves without making it everyone else’s problem. The person who’s hot wins. A fan only does so much when it’s 80 degrees and you have to wear a suit. The person who’s cold can wear another layer, get a heating pad, or use a space heater.

        2. I hate to be a pedant but it’s not a violation. OSHA has recommended temperature range, but there’s no requirement for offices to be cooled (or even heated). Unless your state has some other regulations.

    4. I would set fire to my office if someone tied to keep it that hot. Put me in jail.

    5. Buy your own window treatments and powerful fans. If you know a day is going to be particularly warm, consider bringing ice packs from home and holding them on your wrists during the hearing – your wrists are an effective place to cool down because the skin is thin there and quickly recirculates to your entire body.

    6. Maybe your lease doesn’t allow installation of that stuff?

      idk, time to control what you can. Bring in a fan, buy a tension rod to hang some curtains from, whatever. Talking about taking up an OSHA complaint with senior partners sounds like an AAM comment.

    7. It’s unreasonable but it’s not going to change. Get a fan and see if you can get a stick on/peel off shade for your windows.

      1. yes! or they make paper shades that are temporary – even blackout shades if you want. i bought them from lowe’s when my kids were little.

    8. Never fight a land war in Asia. Stay away from office thermostat disputes.

      Ask for stuff that would help in your own office- portable AC unit, fan, shades/window treatment just for your window (or just a portable screen if you can’t install stuff). ymmv but in my life having a good relationship with facilities and just asking them “hey, can you help me – is it possible we have an unused fan somewhere?” has been faster and more effective for getting stuff like that than official processes.

    9. In my world it is the men who are always cold and the women who are always hot. Even the skinny old ladies. Especially the skinny old ladies.

  21. I have a crush on my boss. Ignore, ignore, ignore, right? We’re both unmarried.

    2. Absolutely ignore and do not let it affect even your thoughts while at work. People with crushes can be completely blind as to how obvious it is to others, all while thinking they hide it well. It’s worth policing your words, demeanor and face. It may be miserable for a while but then this too shall pass.

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