Coffee Break: Layered Necklace Spacer Clasp

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1. Q re dishes. People last week talked about Fiestawear (spouse has, in Redskins colors and loves, but they are boxed right now). We have been ruining our white Correlle (oddly; I had a hideous pattern that lasted 20 years — how are we destroying plain white?). If your people (2 kids, spouse) chip Corelle with east, is the heavy-ness of Fiestawear up to that? Or just will they be chipping heavier things? I do love how light the Corelle is, how cheap to reorder (even annually), and how it will not likely lead to an influx of burgundy and gold (or any other discussions re colors).

   We obvs do not have any china or anything nice or fancy. The Correlle dishes are our dishes.

   1. I have Fiestaware and my mom has Fiestaware and between the two of us, I can name three pieces that have chips. And that’s like 30+ years of use combined. They are heavy, but they do not chip easily.

   2. I had a cheap set from Target that chipped constantly, and now I have a cheap set from Amazon which so far has barely chipped at all. In my experience, the heavy dishes chip more easily, but that might be because I tend to buy cheap dishes.

      The cheap set I have from Amazon is called Vremi. I think I paid $18 for each set of 4 place settings.

   3. I chip Corelle just looking at it, but our Wedgwood has lasted over a decade. I think we’ve broken 3 plates over the years but that’s because we have a tile floor… only plastic would have survived the encounter.

   4. Fiesta is up to it! They were my grandmother’s and now they are ours. We have 2 boys, ages 5 and 3, they are our everyday dishes, no chips.

   5. I will be the counterpoint. We had a dark color of fiesta ware (the navy blue-ish color) and ended up with lots of very visible chips on the edges of dishes. Very visible because the plate was a dark color and white-ish on the inside. I wouldn’t do it again.

   6. Probably depends on how old/mature the kids/spouse are and how prone to dropping. My parents had a set of Fiestaware and my dad dropped a big serving bowl and broke it (not sure how, I wasn’t in the room), and my mom broke a dinner plate by throwing an angry fit and trying to slam the dishwasher closed when the rack wasn’t in all the way. A few others got chips along the way and I’m not sure how, but they otherwise held up fine for a couple decades.

      Our old Corelle dishes also had chips from years of use but be warned: once chipped, a Corelle dish can shatter into a million glasslike shards when dropped. If it were me and I had little kids, I’d rather have a chipped set of Fiestaware that will break into chunks of pottery when dropped than a set of chipped Corelle that will turn into glass when dropped.

   7. I’ve had Fiesta for 20 years or more and don’t think I’ve ever broken or chipped a single piece.

      1. I’ve had 12 place settings of black Fiestaware (not a color currently available but comes back periodically) for 25 years and haven’t chipped a single item.

2. A friend asked me to help clean out and organize her closet this weekend. She’s just coming off a bad divorce (no kids, but emotional abuse). She gained quite a bit of weight during that relationship, and wants to lose it, but looking at all the clothes that don’t fit is making her sad. I am thinking – help her box up clothes that don’t fit, donate stuff she actually hates, and then buy a few pieces that she likes. Maybe look at project 333 for inspiration. She doesn’t make much money (40k) and is v paying for a 1BR apt which is a challenge, so I’m thinking rubbermaid totes and a few nice Old Navy/similar pieces that fit her now. Any thoughts or advice for either of us appreciated!

   1. Not sure it’s necessary to box up things she does not like; you can just put them in a separate side of her closet.

      New clothes: hit the crazy sales Ann Taylor is having now. Buy a few lovely pieces that actually fit: one great black skirt is better than a few meh pieces.

   2. What size is she? I need to get rid of a ton!
      Also, consider thrifting. A lot of us have been cleaning out closets and donations and consignments are way up.

      1. Great idea!! I love the consignment idea. I’m not exactly sure – guessing a XL/14-16 ish, but I haven’t seen her in person for a while due to Covid and her ex who isolated her. A few years ago she was in a Medium. I don’t think it will be hard to find her size in stores (although fit is a different battle!), I just don’t want her sad when she gets dressed every day! If I find out I’ll post again :)

         1. Let us know. That is the size I am working with and I definitely have a few things that are not just basics looking for a good home.

            1. I have stuff in that size range too that is looking for a good home. Some fun party clothes and a few basics too. Would be happy to ship some stuff if it would be wanted.

   3. I have stuff in that size range too that is looking for a good home. Some fun party clothes and a few basics too. Would be happy to ship some stuff if it would be wanted.

   4. This sounds like the perfect situation for a KonMari purge.

      I would not just put the things that don’t fit on one side of the closet. Box them up, or even better get rid of them. It takes a while to lose weight and styles change. She will feel so much better with a lovely, organized closet that isn’t crammed with stuff she doesn’t wear.

      1. Thanks for the suggestion. I want to re watch Tidying Up before the weekend. Do you think clear storage for stuff like this?

         1. I would read the book instead of rewatching the show. The show focuses more on family drama than on the actual process of organizing. My recollection is that the episode with the family that downsized into a small apartment included the most actual organizing and was most inspirational.

            I would go with nice-looking opaque storage for a less cluttered look. You can even cover cardboard boxes with pretty wrapping paper. If she really wants to keep stuff that doesn’t fit, organize it and fold and stack it nicely in the bins so she doesn’t have to be aware that there’s a mess inside every time she looks at them. But if she’s truly holding on just to what sparks joy, she won’t have much to store in those bins.

   5. A capsule wardrobe is perfect for someone who’s in transition between sizes. She could have a lot of fun looking up her color season and selecting a palette, defining her style, and planning her wardrobe. The book The Curated Closet and the blog un-fancy are a bit outdated in terms of style, but are a good starting point for principles.

   6. I want to say you’re a really kind friend and I like this idea. I’ve done project 333 in the past and never felt better about my clothes or my closet. I’m not rigid but I love planning it and getting excited for a new batch of clothes every few months. I have no idea if I saved money but I’m pretty sure I didn’t waste any (you get really thoughtful about stuff when you’re trying to keep it to just a few items- you also justify splurges). I’m also team “box it up” as all my non-maturity clothes are in white ikea bins. This could be the function of a really small closet (actually a pax unit in a 1910 era trunk room) but I love not having stuffed drawers and knowing what my options are. Also I love poshmark of friend has any mall brands that she likes and fit consistently.

   7. I think “box up clothes that don’t fit, donate stuff she actually hates, and then buy a few pieces that she likes” sound like a great idea. I thing getting the bad-feels-ones out of her closet and in to a non-see-through is very important. Not only because they are the wrong size, but because the last time they fit probably was in the period where she still hoped that her bad marriage/relationship would get better but was detoriating. Even if she should want to loose the weight, she might not want to want to where these particular clothes at that future time.

      I really like the wardrobe videos at “The Minimal Mom” on youtube. She has several videos about how she declutters and chooses a limited wardrobe, and I think it might be good for inspiration. I recommend “Minimalist Wardrobe: How to create a Simple Wardrobe from the clothes you have” from 5th August 2020.

   8. That’s exactly what I’ve done in similar spots. Kept the pieces I’ve loved in Rubbermaid totes (because life and weight happen), donate the things I don’t, and go to J.Crew Factory for new pieces to help me feel put together.

   9. I am currently a size 14/16. I’ve fluctuated for years between an 8 and my current size. My experience is that I have to curate my closet to hold only clothes that fit. Seeing clothes that are too small everyday just discourages me and feeds into negative self-talk. It’s always hard to lose weight, but it’s impossible if something is preventing you from accepting where you are in the moment. That something can be as simple as a closet (which is actually really complicated and personal).

      I have saved clothes that don’t fit many times. If she’s going to keep things, encourage her to be really selective–only high quality, classic pieces that are still in good shape–and to store them outside of her closet (under the bed, in another closet, whatever). I’ve saved clothes many times, and most of the time, they take up space for years and by the time I lose weight and excitedly pull them out of my other closet, they are out of style, not in good shape, don’t match my current age/lifestyle, etc. I had some size-8 Lily Pulitzer strapless dresses that I wore a lot in my mid-20s (circa 2010) and couldn’t give up for sentimental reasons. A few months ago, I realized that (a) they’re super out of style now, (b) 2 of the 3 were stained, and (c) they don’t fit the current “me,” a 37-year-old woman who spends weekends building Legos with my kid and at the playground.

3. I was planning to post for necklace advice on this thread so interesting that it is necklace related. I’m looking for a nice initial/letter pendant in a cursive capital L. Either white gold or rose gold. So far, the only one that fits what I’m looking for is the Tiffany alphabet disc charm (link below), but I’m not sure how I feel about the disc versus just a floating letter (which they don’t appear to offer). This is a gift to myself and I want it to be nice so I am not looking for any type of costume jewelry. Any recs?

   https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/necklaces-pendants/tiffany-charms-alphabet-charm-GRP11139/tiffany-charms-alphabet-charm-63478253/

   1. I like this a lot – it reminds me of a family heirloom which unfortunately got lost. This is lower in price than the Tiffany, I don’t know if that means it is more costumey.

      https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/sarah-chloe-amelia-14k-gold-script-initial-necklace-prod237260214

      1. This is a classic design

   2. I truly don’t mean to be snarky, but that’s a really basic charm that you seek. If you google “solid gold cursive letter L”, a ton of options will come up from reputable sites. Or are you seeking personal experience?

   3. Slightly different – from Liberty’s of London:

      https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/gold-plated-floral-letter-l-alphabet-necklace-R219165006.html#pos=2

   4. Not sure if you are open to pre-owned, but the Elsa Peretti letters collection had a very pretty lowercase ‘l’

      You can see it here although it’s unavailable from Tiffany directly-
      https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/necklaces-pendants/elsa-peretti-letter-a-pendant-GRP00330/elsa-peretti-letter-l-pendant-10634229/

   5. Not a rec per se, but maybe an idea for further search. Found a cursive necklace at a place called Aquae Jewelry which seems to be in Dubai? I know nothing about this shop. But they have necklace marketed as a baby necklace in 18K gold (yellow or pink), italic letter, with a micro diamond.

      Maybe this kind of charm/pendant is a thing as a luxury children’s item (Christenings?), and that you could find something you like by using slightly different searches, if you would be willing to swop out the chain.

4. Does anyone use a book journal? I recently got into reading and I’ve seen people post photos of theirs on book club social media and it looks like something I’d be into, but I’m also sort of a minimalist so wondering if it’s worth having.

   1. I keep a handwritten list in my yearly planner – just a line about each, I don’t think I could manage more. And I read A LOT – so I’d probably fill up a proper journal really quickly.

   2. I use Goodreads to keep track of what I want to read and what I’ve read. I’ll admit the reading challenge is a good incentive for me to read more and to actually finish books I otherwise would set down and lose interest in. I don’t have any interest in keeping reviews of or notes about the books I’ve read, so I can’t offer any thoughts there if that’s what you’re interested in.

      1. I also use Goodreads, both for books I want to read and those I’ve actually read – I do rate the books but don’t actually review them. I like that it will also show you the number of pages read in a year, so if you read lots of long books you can feel like you’ve accomplished something tangible. And I also like the reading challenge. I read 42/40 last year, going for 50 this year (and already behind, oops)!

   3. I have a book spreadsheet, which is my equivalent of a journal. I really, really like it- I’ve gone really deep into stats on it, which I think is fascinating, and I like being able to look at prior years to see how my reading has changed over time. I’m also way better at Excel because of it! I like the theory of a journal, but knew I wouldn’t keep it up and would keep up a spreadsheet.

      1. I do the spreadsheet also. I keep track of author, fiction or nonfiction, race and gender of author, and the geographic setting of the book, plus I rate my favorites. It helps a lot as I try to diversify my reading and I can always easily go back and find books I liked to give recommendations.

   4. I track the books I read in a note on my phone and then transfer it to Excel at year-end so I can see graphs and totals. It’s dorky, but motivating. However, I’m planning to buy a plain journal and transfer everything there so my family will have a memento of my reading life after I’m gone. I would’ve loved to have something similar for my late family members who were readers.

   5. I keep a digital book journal (on an old wordpress account). I write down the books I’ve finished reading each month, and very occasionally write thoughts about a book I liked or greatly disliked. Having a digital journal makes it easy to search my own archives. At the end of the year, I add the total number of books read to a spreadsheet I’ve been tracking since 2008.

   6. I do–title, author, and any comments I have. I use it to track what I read so I can remember later (for recommendations and gifts) and also to process what I read. I read a lot of non-fiction, so it helps consolidate my learning.

   7. I just keep a list of each year’s reads on my phone (and keep a separate list of books that I may want to read). I like to track my reading but don’t have enough patience to do anything more involved than that.

   8. I use goodreads to track my reading.

      I also use a very beautiful notebook where I write down passages or ideas I particularly liked and want to make sure to remember or enjoy more. I get a lot of books from the library, so it’s not like I can just highlight them. I do highlight passages on Kindle as well, but I find I tend to just forget about it/somehow it’s harder to review them on Kindle.

5. I recently lost some weight (“baby weight” technically, but, well, I have 3 kids and none of them are in diapers!) and now my basic Ts need a refresh. The ones I have are too big and the ones I have in a box from pre-kids are VERY dated and frankly, I don’t know why I kept them at all since they are pretty beat up. I’m about 5’9/5’10 so while I don’t specifically need tall sizes, I need tops that run long.

   What are go-tos for things like crew and v-neck black/white t-shirts, tank tops (I like the wider strap kind but spaghetti strap would be OK too) for an under layer? I am currently rocking…(hangs head in shame) a maternity tank in 2 sizes too big from at least 5 years ago. ;) Target seemed both too cheap/thin and they seemed short to me.

   I’m probably a size M (?8?) in a top if that matters. Maybe an L if they run snug.

   1. LLBean pima cotton tees. I also like my tees from Vineyard Vines if that’s your look.

   2. I actually have long sleeve and turtle necks in black and white from Costco of all places and they’re some of my staples. The price is absurdly low, maybe $15 for both shirts, but I’m pleased with the quality.

   3. JCrew’s “perfect” tees run fairly long IIRC.

   4. 5’8 with a long torso and honestly, my best luck on white tees is to just steal my husband’s v-neck undershirts which I swear are less see through than 95% of women’s white t-shirts. The in-house “trendy” target brand has been my favorite for this purpose. Madewell tees seem short but are the perfect length for a half tuck into high-waisted jeans and are normally good quality.

   5. I buy Gap talls, especially for things like tank tops.

   6. H & M basic T fits my long torso. I do get 1 size up because they are slim cut

   7. Old Navy Everyday tshirts are great. They hold up well in the wash and aren’t spendy.

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