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Coffee Break: Taylor Laptop Bag

LeSportsac Taylor Laptop Bag | CorporetteI really like the few LeSportsac bags that I have — and if I were looking for a laptop bag, I would check this one out. I like the striped version, pictured, as well as the matte black bag — they do have a few other versions. The bag is $112 at Zappos. (Note that if you prefer more of a briefcase style for your laptop bag, the brand has several highly rated versions for 13″ and 15″ laptops.) LeSportsac Taylor Laptop Bag

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

172 Comments

  1. Drawing off this morning’s underwear question- how much underwear do you have? How many bras? What are the staples of underwear/bras that every woman should have? How often do you do a “refresh” of your underpinnings?

    1. I probably have 15 pairs of underpants. They all sorely need to be refreshed. They are probably all around 5-7 years old at this point. I’ll probably identify a good sale on Hanky Pankys and buy 15 pair all at once to replace this “crew.”

      As for bras, I have about 10-12, but 3 workhorses that are worn at least once a week. A beige, a black and a fun color. The others don’t fit right or were purchased to wear with a specific shirt or dress. I replace my bras every 2-3 years as I find that they tend to get really stretched out and sad looking. I need to replace my beige one stat, but I’m currently nursing, so I’m kind of waiting until that’s over.

    2. Lots of underwear (30 pairs?) mostly of the same silky stretchy bikini type, with nude full panties, nude thongs, etc. as needed. 5 pairs of black Spanx tights for winter. Nude hose as needed the rest of the year (I buy as I go through them). A few pairs of Spanx for fancy dresses. Very few bras…this reminds me that I need new bras! I often toss bras but oddly very rarely toss underwear until they are quite sad. Maybe because I don’t wash bras everytime, I find they get manky easier than underwear (which you can wash/dry on hot).

    3. Maybe 30 pairs of underwear? I don’t know bc some of them are always dirty (I often wear 2 pairs/day). I toss when stained or stretched out. I have 2 feathers bras, 2 spanx ones, one strapless, a few bralettes. I have prob also 5 pairs of black tights. Not many nylons – 2 nude, one grey, one black? I wear them really rarely.

    4. I have 50 ish pairs of underwear. I generally wear 2 a day, changing after my workout. I have 15 bras maybe? I rotate out either when they show wear or discolouration. On that note I’m careful to wear black silk with black bras after ruining a nude bra.

    5. Probably 40+ panties, but 15-20 that are the real workhorses. I just added about 10 pair of cotton panties from VS (I’m a big fan of several of the styles) and got rid of some that were 8-10 years old. Before that I mainly bought a couple pair a year and seldom tossed any (thus the 20+ pair that I barely wear). Bras, over 30, but probably 15 that I regularly wear. Brights side is that since I don’t wear them as frequently, they last longer. I still have some from VS that I bought 10+ years ago that are still wearable, but I reserve them for specific outfits. My bra buying has slowed down – I probably buy 2-3 a year, but I’m due for some new everyday ones, and the old ones will get downgraded to wearing around the house. Plenty of tights, one or two pairs of hose for hose emergencies.

    6. I’m probably going to be the least interesting response :)

      Probably 25-30 pairs of panties (2-3 nude, the rest black). All are Soma vanishing edge hipsters.

      4 black bras, 4 nude bras. Of each color, 2 are natori feathers and 2 are plain unadorned demi-cup. I don’t own strapless bras or other fancy styles.

      I wear nude hose daily so I have a good stockpile of those. About 3-4 pairs of opaque black tights.

      I might make more of an effort to buy “fun” things if my SO was into that, but his favorite kind of underpinning is the kind I’ve already removed, so…

    7. oh my gosh — I have nearly 100 pair. I can (and often do) go more than 3 months before I have to (hand)wash them all.

      2. I was with you until the handwashing. Nope. I even do my bras on the handwash cycle of my washing machine (frontloading).

        1. I wash mine on the regular cycle with all my other clothes (I do put them in a delicates bag, however).

          I actually don’t separate anything for laundry (except for sheets because they need their own load, space-wise). Darks, lights, bras, towels, exercise clothes, etc – it all goes into the same load.

          2. I heart you. I separate colors and whites/nudes. And jeans (only because my husband requested that and my jeans must air dry). Other than that, it all goes in together.

          3. This is how my stuff gets washed, because my husband does the laundry. I’d much rather have my stuff wear out faster than have to actually do laundry! Also why I have a huge number of underwear, because he doesn’t do laundry often. That, and 2 pregnancies and nursing have had me needing different sizes of underpinnings every few months it seems. So I probably have 100 underwear and 20 bras, though a lot of them are not worn due to being the wrong size. I can’t wait until the baby stage is over and I can stabilize my wardrobe to a smaller size range.

      3. Wow!! I think we have a winner.

        I am amazed at some of these stockpiles. I think I have about 25 pairs, half at my house and half at the boyfriend’s house. This seems like plenty seeing as I do laundry every week and only wear one pair per day.

      4. Sorry but it seems pretty gross to leave dirty underwear around for 3 months. Bacteria be growin, yo.

    8. I have ~20-30 pairs of underwear. That’s ~15-20 general purpose pairs, plus some special use ones (thongs, seamless, etc) for particular outfits/items. I replace as needed, usually ~6 per year.

      I have 2-3 bras at a time. One nude t-shirt bra, one black lace, and sometimes one more. (I also have specialty bras that I wear maybe once a year for special events and two sports bras). I replace the ones in daily use about once a year.

    9. Yay! I am back from a dull day of Depo’s in Brooklyn! FOOEY!

      I would love a new Sportsack bag for my Macbook Air, but it must be brown or black leather or the manageing partner will not consider it to be part of my clotheing allowance. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      As for the OP, I had alot of pair’s of pantie’s, but my Europeean relative’s took home more then a few w/o askeing, and I think the manageing partner’s brother made off with a few more from the hamper, so I am probabley down to about a dozen or so, includeing the satin one’s that Alan got from Victoria’s Secret that he gave me for Valentine’s Day a few year’s ago, which I cannot wear out b/c they are 100% NON-FUNCTIONAL for work and a full day’s work, if you get my meaneing. I wonder why Oleg did NOT steal those for his girlfreind b/c that is what men go for. I never understand why they want you to wear those. They realy are useless as underwear.

      I was SO bored doieng depos that I almost commented from my Iphone, but considering that the plaintiff’s and their attorney’s were there, I could NOT until now. Also, I was in Brooklyn, where we had to use the court to meet b/c I did NOT want them comeing to our place and I did NOT want to find where the plaintiff’s lawyer worked (in Fort Greenpoint–whereever that is). The cleint does NOT reimburse for car service so I would have to take PUBLIC transportation. TRIPEL FOOEY ON THAT—no ofense, but Brooklyn, not so fast for me!

      Anyway, I am meeting Myrna tonite for Tapas. She wanted sushi, but I do NOT want that. So we will go to Midtown where they have a nice place she know’s. Hope the HIVE did NOT miss me to much today! I sure missed the HIVE! YAY!!!!

  2. How did you and your SO get together? Not meet, but I mean – the conversation when you realized that you both liked each other. Did you say something first, or did he?

    1. My first boyfriend passed me a note. But we were 11, so, take that with a grain of salt.

    2. Long conversation while reconnecting after nearly a decade – initially casual, get-to-know-you topics, but then it progressed as we talked for 3+ hours onto deeper topics, but never about us or a relationship. That was it for both of us. A month later he told me he would marry me, and he did about 5 years after – I move slow :)

    3. I said something first, but it was online, so it was before either of knew we liked each other.

    4. We went on a date? I think I contacted him first, this was on match.com many many years ago.

    5. I honestly don’t remember. I think we’d been hanging out a lot and at some point this led to making out? (we were in the same freshman dorm). I don’t think we ever had the “defining the relationship conversation.” Though he has told me he decided he liked me on the day I wore a Dragon*Con shirt and he realized I was therefore a bona fide geek.

    6. My husband and I met on OKCupid. (I messaged him first.) We knew we liked each other right away and had the exclusive talk after about a week. I think I initiated that too. But we were spending so much time together that I knew he wasn’t seeing anyone else (and vice versa).

    7. We just had fun together, I think we knew we liked each other. We went on actual dates for about 3 months and then had the exclusivity talk one night drunk after a bar. We’re getting married next week!

    8. After nearly a year of being work friends, we progressed into regular friends and then got too intoxicated one night and released all of the pent up…tension. We’ve been together ever since, and are married now. There was a conversation somewhere along the way that we needed to change a couple of things to continue the relationship or otherwise we would end it. But it was a very brief, matter of fact conversation that we both agreed what needed to be done.

      1. Hi Mindy! Glad to find out you married Danny Castellano!!

        On a serious note, I totally imagine your courtship as Mindy and Danny (as per my sentence above).

    9. I don’t think there was one conversation. I knew I liked him the second I saw him (I’m so shallow!) and then as soon as he opened his mouth and started talking I was a goner.
      I figured out he liked me too because he kept sitting beside me in class (grad school, so generally around a big table rather than in rows of desks) and in the grad study room after class.
      Then we went out for dinner with some other classmates and were the last ones to leave, 6 hours later.

    10. Along these lines, has anyone seen Manhattan Love Story? I went on a few dates that seemed exactly like the main characters’ – interesting conversation, clearly attracted to each other, but we seemed to keep saying things that caused friction. It didn’t go anywhere, partially because of bad timing, but I’m wondering whether to pick up the phone now, and whether relationships that start off just awkward -always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time- ever end up happily.

    11. We first met for a happy hour drink and stayed until around midnight talking nonstop so I think we both knew right away. Never had the “getting serious” conversation because it was clear that we were spending all our time together and very serious. (I only found out later that my husband had been seeing somebody else casually but called her and ended it the day after our first date.)

    12. Married 26 years ago today! We lived in the same dorm freshman year of college and hung out with the same group of friends. Gradually started to spend more and more time together until we realized that the feeling was mutual.

    13. I like these stories!

      I was the new girl and he worked in my building…we flirted for a couple months, but we’re both flirts so neither of us knew what to make of it (I found out later he had a girlfriend at the beginning, but never saw fit to mention that to me and broke up with her after a week or two). He invited me to lunch on a weekend while we were chatting online in an ambiguous, “obviously neither of us is doing anything interesting right now so let’s go get pizza!” kind of way. Then I invited him to a play that my Lit class was attending in the city an hour away and my classmates were turning into a date-night. I was really nervous and not sure whether to call it a date or how to introduce him to my classmates, so that stayed ambiguous too. Finally, we were hanging out with a mutual friend (DH’s BFF) who conveniently remembered somewhere else he needed to be and couldn’t actually go to the restaurant we’d just agreed on. Now-DH used some cheesy line to kiss me after dinner, and the rest is history.

    14. My FI and I met Match. I messaged him first (which was unusual for me). He replied saying that he’d like to keep talking, but it was the last day of his subscription & he wasn’t going to be renewing, so he gave me his personal email address. We emailed back and forth a few times, he asked me to meet, and we ended up closing down the restaurant we met at. The part of “our story” that I love is that (with the exception of our first date, when he played it cool and waited a few days to call me after), he always asked me out on the next date before we even finished the one we were on. It showed me that he was really serious and not playing games and me feel very secure in our growing relationship.

      Not necessarily the most romantic way to meet, but it worked for us. He works 70+ hour weeks and we probably never would have crossed paths otherwise. That was over 3.5 years ago and we’re getting married next May.

    15. DH and I have been together for 8 and a half years, married for 3. We met at a night club at 2 am. I made eye contact with him. He left the conversation he was in with his buddies mid-sentence to come over and talk to me. The pick-up line was “Hi.” We started dating and were a couple immediately, though whether we would last long-term was initially up in the air, because I was finishing a term clerkship and was going to move away six months after we met. He ended up following me to DC and pursuing his career here and the rest is history.

    16. DH and I lived in the same building, and ran into each other (not literally) on the stairs from time to time. He introduced himself, but I promptly changed his name in my head to “that nice guy with the unfortunate hand deformity” because he always kept a backpack on one shoulder, and the hand balancing it was always in a horrible claw position. I thought that’s what his hand looked like, for real.

      He moved out, but before he left he pushed a note under my door with his phone number. We started dating as soon as it was inconvenient – his new place was 2 subway transfers and at least an hour away – and he moved in with me within 3 months.

    17. We met in high school and were friends, hung out with the same people, were in the same afterschool activities, etc. We never really dated in high school, though he did kiss me once. Then he moved away for college. A couple years later, we literally ran into each other at a baseball game (which he later admits he saw me, but wasn’t sure he should say hi, so he decided he would stand directly in the path I was walking hoping I would recognize him.) He had moved back and was going to finish up school at the same college I was attending. We have been together ever since (this was 11.5 years ago, we have been married almost 9 and have 3 kids now.)

    18. We were driving and he told me he didn’t want to see any other people and, if it was ok, he didn’t want me to see other people either. I wasn’t, so it was fine by me. Four years later we were married :)

    19. I had been seeing (kissing, going on dates with, spending lots of time with) my bf for about a six weeks and was beginning to feel a bit antsy that we hadn’t “defined the relationship” and annoyed he hadnt brought it up. We were at some day time drinking event (just the two of us) and after a couple beers I said something along the lines of “are you my boyfriend” and he was like “of course, i’ve been calling you my girlfriend to people for weeks now”

      I think this was a good precursor to any issue i have in our relationship, i always just need to bring it up ha.

      1. This is what happened with us, too! He never asked, but started calling me his girlfriend, and I just went with it. We’ve been together 10 years and just had our 6 year anniversary. :)

    20. A friend posted group pictures that had my now-husband in them on Facebook. I made an off-hand comment to her that I thought he was really cute. She insisted on setting us up and invited us to a group gathering, which was super awkward because we’re both really shy around people we don’t know. We barely talked at all that night, but a couple of days later he messaged me and asked me to come over and watch a movie. After that night we were pretty much inseparable. I later found out that my friend had spilled the beans that I thought he was cute to his good friend, who had in turn told him. At the time I was pretty annoyed at my friend but in retrospect he never would have asked me out had he not known that because he’s so shy. After a couple of weeks I asked whether he thought it was just a casual thing or whether he wanted to date exclusively because I liked him SO much and didn’t want to get my heart broken. Against all the rules, I know, but if he just saw it as a casual fling I needed to know then so I didn’t get really hurt. His reply was “Oh, I thought you were my girlfriend.” A couple months later we had decided to get married (although we didn’t officially get engaged until almost 2 years later).

    21. We knew each other but never talked. At the same party one night, he just asked if I wanted to come home with him. I said “I’m here with [random dude].” Response: “He can come too.” I did not go home with him but we started dating a few months later. Married for 9 years. Obviously, I like a guy with a healthy sense of humor and a huge ego.

  3. I’m about to head to LA for a wedding. I booked my trip for a long weekend because my best friend lives there, but frustratingly friend now has to leave town for the weekend for work :( I don’t know anyone going to the wedding except for the bride, and I don’t have other close friends in LA, so…LA folks, what should I do to fill my time? I’ll be staying in Westwood. I generally like good food/art/culture/etc., not a huge beach person but could be convinced. I’m pretty outgoing and okay wandering around on my own, just need some ideas for things to do! Also, is it crazy if I don’t rent a car and use Uber/cabs instead?

    1. The Getty Villa and the Getty Center are both fairly close to Westwood and are super awesome. If you go to the Getty Center, make sure you eat at the sit-down restaurant (it’s called The Restaurant), which has awesome food and amazing views. The Skirball Cultural Center is also in the area and has a great exhibit about Noah’s Ark.

      Cabs are awful in LA but Uber is great. The cost could add up but it may be worth it in sanity dollars and also you won’t have to pay for parking.

      1. LACMA — especially if you like Asian Art.

        La Brea Tar Pits (look it up) – totally cool and you won’t see it anywhere else

        MoCA — if you like contemporary art

        Disney Hall (designed by Frank Gehry) — they may do tours of the architecture? but even just seeing it is cool

        Griffith Observatory

        Korean Spa (if you are into n*ked exfoliation) – I like “Aroma Resort”

        I think all these things have good websites so you can choose and plan online.

        Both versions of this in moderation, and I don’t know why.

      2. Since you’re in Westwood, the Hammer museum is nearby. In addition, Abbot Kinney and Bergamot Station are areas with clusters of art galleries.

        After visiting LACMA or the Tar Pits, head north to the Farmer’s Market for food.

        After visitng Disney Hall and MoCA, there’s Chinatown, Little Tokyo and Olvera Street, as well as restaurants geared to the well-heeled lunchtime crowd.

    2. LACMA — especially if you like Asian Art.

      La Brea Tar Pits (look it up) – totally cool and you won’t see it anywhere else

      MoCA — if you like contemporary art

      Disney Hall (designed by Frank Gehry) — they may do tours of the architecture? but even just seeing it is cool

      Griffith Observatory

      Korean Spa (if you are into naked exfoliation) – I like “Aroma Resort”

      I think all these things have good websites so you can choose and plan online.

    3. Go to Venice! You can shop along Abbott Kinney (sp?) and eat your way to heaven! Intelligentsia Coffee, Gjelina, Tasting Room, there are so many great restaurants.

    4. Westwood? Please go get an ice cream sandwich from Diddy Riese, right in Westwood. You won’t regret it!!

      If you want to go to Hollywood, take the 2 bus if you don’t want to cab. It goes on Sunset through Beverly Hills and Hollywood, and you can get off at Sunset/Highland and walk north a block to Hollywood Blvd and walk around all the touristy areas on Hollywood/Highland (shopping, various museums and attractions, walk of fame, etc). Plus if you go up into the shopping area, there’s a spot on one of the bridge walkways where you can get a pretty clear view of the Hollywood sign.

      Some of these attractions mentioned by others are on Wilshire – you can take buses along Wilshire (I think the 20 and 720 – 720 being the express one) from Westwood too and it’s pretty convenient.

      For a close beach, I’d take Uber to Santa Monica and walk around the pier. Some shopping and dining around there is fun too.

      If you want to travel a little, you can take a bus to Sunset/Vermont and take the Metro Rail up to Universal CityWalk – or you can uber this too. It’s closer to North Hollywood but there’s some fun shops, and if you stop at the North Hollywood stop (one stop after CityWalk), there’s a lot of small theaters, interesting food, art/culture stuff.

    5. Second the Getty Center. It’s beautiful — architecture, garden, museum, views. Can’t recommend it enough!

  4. I just heard that my family is removing my grandma from the ventilator. Priest has said the last rites and all that, and I’m halfway across the country. Yesterday she was totally fine, and if I had known to call then (or in the otherwise recent past) I could have talked to her one last time. And I feel guilty for not being there. And I’m mad that she’s dying of an infection she picked up last time she was in the hospital for something totally not serious and life threatening. I’m generally in a bad mood, I guess.

    1. I’m so, so sorry.

      I would be angry too.

      After struggling through horrible illnesses with my parents, including my mother’s too early death…. I have to say, I only wish that I could pass after being fine one day and quietly leaving the world with an infection the next. Thank goodness that is how my mother finally passed, although she was likely much sicker than your grandmother.

      It is always a shock. If you can go there, please do, if that is important to you.

      Thinking of you.

      1. Thanks. I can’t go for her passing as it’ll be any minute now. Will go for memorial service though. This is the first time I’ve lost someone close to me. How do you get over it, move on, whatever?

        1. I live halfway across the country from where I grew up and I’ve lost several family members over the years (three grandparents, two uncles, a stepmother) and hate to say it, but I haven’t really had a “getting over it” process. I don’t know if they weren’t close enough or if it’s the distance or something else, but to me it feels like they’re still there and I just can’t call them.

          I feel bad that I haven’t had a strong emotional response, but I think of them often and I feel like somehow this is OK with them.

        2. I’m so sorry. I live in a different country from my grandparents and had a somewhat similar situation when my grandfather died. He was so ill that we thought he was going to pass away, but then rallied and didn’t die until about 3 months later. I could have gone back to see him during that time, but wasn’t sure about the timing (I had just been there a few weeks before the first episode) and thought that I should save my vacation time/money for the funeral. There was part of me that really regretted not seeing him one last time, but reflecting on the lifetime of memories and good times that we had shared helped me to accept it and move on. We had a wonderful relationship and I know that he appreciated having me and vice versa. It definitely takes time, but focusing on the lifetime that you had, as opposed to the single conversation or visit that you didn’t have, definitely helped me.

          1. Probably too late, but thanks. I don’t think I left anything unfinished, and I think no matter what I’d always want one more chance to talk to her, so I guess that’s just the way these things go.

        3. Sorry you are going through this. My grandfather that I was very close with passed away 11 years ago and I still think of him daily and even dream of him occasionally. When you lose someone like that, I don’t think you can ever “get over it”, but it gets easier with time. Now it’s always more of a warm fuzzy feeling to think of him than a feeling of loss.

          I think it’s also slightly easier when it is an older person where at least you can feel like they had a full life. I recently lost my younger (18 year old) brother in an accident and I’m still devastated. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to warm and fuzzy with that.

    4. I’m so sorry. The situation with my grandmother was similar, but unlike you I was able to make it across town for her final hour. It was so fast. But that also minimized her suffering. I know it’s painful not to be there. I have no sage wisdom to share about processing grief, aside from trying to do it and taking your time. Hugs and rawrs.

    5. I’m so sorry. The important thing is that your grandmother knows you love her, so don’t beat yourself up over a missed call/not being there/etc. Grandmas just know.

    6. I’m so sorry. I would be angry too, but for what it’s worth I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about.

    7. I’m so sorry, and I know just how you feel with the guilt and regrets. My grandmother lived across the country, and had a lot of age-related health problems. I had plans to visit her with my baby while I was on maternity leave. Unfortunately, she died a couple days after he was born, and I wasn’t even able to make it to her funeral. The last update I got before the middle-of-the-night phone call that she’d passed was that she was doing so much better and would be done with rehab and home from the hospital within the week; I was going to call her then. It’s not something you “get over,” but it does get easier with time. It helped me to remember she had a long life and a peaceful death. Huge hugs to you.

    10. I am so sorry.

      I missed seeing my grandfather by about two hours. It’s hard, but with time it wasn’t as important as the relationship we had for the many years before then.

  5. I recently lateraled as a midlevel and switched practice areas–lit to transactional in a niche practice. I love the new job, but there just isn’t enough work for me. 115 hr/mo is ridiculous. It was really tough getting out of lit, but I’m wondering what’s going to happen to my job. I’m not sure what question I’m asking, but I guess I’d like to hear any advice on paths forward to real employment.

    1. Does your new practice area have ebbs and flows? I’m in transactional real estate at a biglaw firm and it’s not unusual to have a 100 hour month, followed by a 200 hour month depending on the season. Transactional deals usually live quarter to quarter.

      With transactional, it’s harder to rack up the hours like it is in lit. Before you jump ship, make sure this is not the norm. What is your billable target? How long have you been there? It takes a while to ramp up.

      1. Yup, this is exactly right. Deal work in particular tends to be very up and down and you go from crazy busy to five hours of Buzzfeed a day. Also, as you are new, it can sometimes take a while for the work to come to you as people get used to the new person. Presumably, your new firm saw a pipeline of work to justify hiring you in the first place, so I wouldn’t get too worried just yet.

    2. When I started in biglaw, I remember my transactional colleagues had NOTHING to do most days until 4 pm, then would be busy all evening — and some of them didn’t even have that evening burst of activity. There was a much longer ramp-up/get to know the partners/develop a regular flow of work process than in litigation-based practices. I’d assume there is similar process for lateral transactional attorneys?

      I agree with PPs that I wouldn’t assume you’re not going to have a job just because of a 115/hr month (or multiple months) when you’re new to a firm.

    3. How long have you been at your new job? It took me 3 months to get a full workload when I started at a firm, and then again when I lateraled. You might need to give it more time. It’s kind of awkward – you get staffed on a deal when you start, nothing happens for 3 months, then you get slammed. Plus they’re not going to take work away from other associates to give to you. Just be vocal about the fact that you have capacity and over time, you will probably get up to a normal amount of hours.

      For reference, I’m also in a niche transactional practice. We might be in the same one – we get a lot of former litigators who lateral into our related transactional practice.

      You also may be suffering from an awkward issue due to the midlevel lit background. You’re mostly a beginner in your new practice area, but you have a lot of experience elsewhere, so it can be hard to navigate what types of assignments you can handle at first. Especially if you’re in a small practice group, they may get laterals like you infrequently, so they probably need some guidance from you on what you feel comfortable handling (which sounds counter-intuitive).

      Hope that helps!

    4. Thanks, this makes me feel somewhat better. Been here four months now. I’m also frustrated bc I want to get up to speed at work so I feel better about TTC. I’m getting to a now or never point in my fertility. (Thank law as a second career for slowing that down…).

      1. Just go have sex tonight. You don’t need to tee this up perfectly. In fact you can’t. Shots. Sex. Do it.

  6. Following up from this morning, I’m looking for advice/suggestions for visiting Tokyo and Kyoto next month. I’ll be going with my 50-something Mom, so I’m looking for advice on must-see attractions, where to stay, where to eat, what neighborhood to stay at in Tokyo, etc. Thanks!

    1. If I’m the only responder you’ll surely need to repost because it’s been a long time since my one visit- but I loved the temples in Kyoto. Kinkakuji, the Golden Temple, stands out in my memory 20 years later…I’m sure you know this already but wear shoes that you can remove many times, easily!

    2. I’ll have some info for you later tonight. I lived there for a few years and have some suggestions.

    3. + 100 to Kinkakuji.

      If you have time, you can travel easily and quickly from Kyoto to Nara, Osaka and Kobe. In Nara, there is a park in which deer roam free. There is also an enormous Buddha statuue there.

      Plenty of people are culture vultures, so don’t be surprised if you go to a museum on a Tuesday and people are lined up 3 deep to check out the exhibits. On a weekend, it will be even more crowded. Advertisers often hand out tissue packets, but they are less likely to do so to foreigners. Not all public toilets have tissue, so it’s best to carry your own.

    4. In Tokyo, I like Shibuya when on holiday – a good mix of shopping, casual eats and nightlife, anchored by the famous 5-way zebra crossing outside the main station. Can recommend 3 hotels – Cerulean, Excel Tokyu and Dormy Inn (in descending order of budget). The first 2 are owned by the same corporate group and are especially handy for the airport bus, and the Excel in particular having a great location in the centre of Shibuya and easy access to the transport network. Otherwise Shinjuku is another good commercial hub to stay in (a bit less youthful and a tad more down-market) and the international chains are in Roppongi and Ginza (ok for me only if in town for work). Do note though that Japanese hotel rooms are tiny – the Excel and Dormy are pretty typical – and not so great for the claustrophobic or large-limbed. The international chains will have more conventionally-sized rooms.

      For food, I like Maru and Shokkan, upmarket izakaya with counter seats and English menus walkable from all the Shibuya hotels I’ve mentioned (expect to pay 5,000 yen or so per person). For inexpensive sushi, try Midori downstairs of the Excel hotel (you’ll recognize it from the queue) and for snacks, there’s a big food hall in the next building ‘Tokyu Food Show’. The area immediately around Shibuya station is also a hotspot for old-school ramen and yakitori places.

      In Kyoto, consider a ryokan for a couple of nights – I would spring for a higher-end one with a dinner option for the full experience, then shift to a regular hotel for the rest of the stay (the fussiness and the formality of a really trad ryokan can be a bit overwhelming otherwise). Unfortunately no current recs – it’s been awhile since I’ve been.

      1. Yep like I said earlier, I stayed at a ryokan in Kyoto and am really glad we did it, but would’ve been glad to leave after 2 nights. The food was incredibly delicious and the service was great, but the lack of a couch/bed and the fact that we spent about an hour on breakfast, an hour at least on dinner, and at least 30ish minutes per day on our two baths just got kind of exhausting for people who aren’t used to it. Would highly recommend the one we stayed at – Hiiragiya Bekkan; it’s the “annex” (but really the slightly less nice/significantly cheaper sibling of) to Hiiragiya, a Michelin-starred ryokan.

    5. I’m so jealous – it’s been 8 years since I was there, but here are some recommendations:

      Tokyo: Sensoji Temple is the oldest Buddhist temple in Tokyo. There’s an outdoor shopping bazaar leading up to it that’s a great spot for touristy souvenirs.

      Kyoto is gorgeous. If you can find a local to give you a tour for a day, definitely do that.

      Nara is unbelievable – the deer are sacred so they’re completely tame and will walk up to you and eat from your hand (including any paper you’re holding). Also, the temple and giant buddha at Nara are incredible. We were saying that we’d seen everything there was to see in a temple, and then we got to Nara and were blown away.
      Kiyomizu in the hills above Kyoto is also a must-see.
      Nijo castle in Kyoto is called the Nightingale castle because the floor boards were built to chirp as an anti-ninja alarm.
      Sanjusangendo has 1001 hand carved statues, it’s impressive.
      Heian shrine has gorgeous gardens.
      Kinkakuji (golden temple) is unforgettable.

      Most people don’t speak English, but we still found that most people would go out of their way to help tourists.
      I don’t have rec’s for places to stay/eat since it’s been so long, but next time I go I plan to stay at a ryokan and have a kaiseki meal.

  7. I can’t recall why I was thinking of Lilly Bart on my way to lunch today, but I was. Is Ellen a modern-day Lilly? Lilly NEEDED to find a rich husband. AND she was only getting OLDER. AND is in New York. But our Ellen has skillz! And hopefully will wind up better than poor Lilly.

    [I really rooted for Lilly and had to stop reading from time to time b/c I knew what was coming.]

    1. I have to believe that Ellen will come to a better end than poor Lilly :-( I truly believe that Ellen is the voice of a generation (in a funny, cock-eyed sense).

  8. I need to buy a washer and dryer. I don’t want to spend a ton because I’m just renting, but I’m overwhelming myself with research and reading too many negative reviews. Anyone have any advice?

    1. Go to Sears. Pick one that fits your location and budget. Buy it and move on. This decision doesng need to be perfect.

      1. Ha! Thanks for this. I promise I’m an adult woman who can make decisions normally. Just having a really crazy work week. A bit frazzled.

      2. I just needed a washer and dryer and I used this method and it worked out just fine. Also Sears will price match so when you’ve picked the one you want, do a quick search on your phone and see if anybody else has it cheaper so you can get a few bucks knocked off.

    2. Check out consumer reports – we bought the top rated top-load washer which was hundreds of dollars cheaper than others. Also, I’ve heard sooo many people complaint about their front-load washers so I’d stay away. YMMV.

      1. Anecdata, but every person that I know that has bought a front-loading washer has sworn to never buy another one.

        2. I love my front load washer. The key is to leave the door open when not in use. There is some water that stays in a little reservoir in the front. If you close it, that can get moldy. Leave it open, the water evaporates and everything is fine. Of course, this only works if your washer is hidden in an area where an open door won’t be in the way.

          1. +1

            I’ve have had 2 front loading washers and really liked them. One was in the kitchen, so I couldn’t leave it open all the time, but after running it, I’d leave it open overnight or while I was at work so it could air out. I also used it almost every other day to run small loads. I would have loved to take it, but it stayed in the kitchen when I sold the place.

            Now my washer is in the basement, and I run several loads on the weekend and almost none during the week, and always leave it open between using it.

          3. +1

            There are things that I like and dislike about each, but leaving the door open resolves the smell issue.

        3. I love my front loader (I’m on my 2nd in 20 years). I leave the door closed and have no musty smell. It’s a work horse, with 2 teens that play sports I run several loads a day most days and it gets even the most stinky stuff clean. The one thing I do regret is that I had my washer and dryer stacked when I designed my laundry room and it was a pain to replace the washer but not the dryer and I had to hire someone to help.

          I run a cycle of just hot water and vinegar thru the machine about once a month.

      2. I have a front loader that I bought about 4 years ago that I thoroughly dislike (LG?). I’ve read that most front loaders made around the same time had known issues with water drainage and musty/moldy smells, yet manufacturers still produced them. I have to deep clean mine (it’s a pain) once a month, otherwise all of my clothes and towels smell gross. My next washer will be a top loader!

        1. I have a top-loader from the same time period with the same issue. It doesn’t drain properly and the standing water under the basket starts to smell funky. Boooo.

      3. I’ll be the voice of dissent – I’ve been perfectly happy with my frontloader (a small GE) for over five years. I bought the house with all appliances included but I’ll definitely purchase another when the time comes.

        1. What do you do when you need to add something in? This wouldn’t have been as much of an issue when I was single, but I have a messy husband now, and we had even messier children (and the baby / potty training laundry — yikes!). Not being able to toss something in and restart the agitation cycle would have sent me over the edge.

          1. You can restart the cycle on my front-loader, so maybe its a feature on some models and not others?

          2. I’m honestly not sure if you can restart the cycle on mine or not – I only ever use two cycles, but that’s a good consideration.

          3. My Samsung has a pause button for the first few minutes of the cycle (5 minutes?, def. long enough to grab the stray socks in the hall). Press it, the water drains as need, the door unlocks, add the item, unpause, water adjusts and cycle continues. I guess if you need to add something 20 minutes in, you could just restart.

          4. We can pause and open ours mid-cycle… maybe only during the first half, but not sure why it would be worth it later on anyway.

          5. Yes, some of the newer, higher-end ones have a button to add stuff.

            My old one didn’t and that bugged me (b/c I could pause it and add stuff but then the weight/water ratio was off and I don’t know if everything got clean).

            I like mine. I think it’s LG and I bought it because the last house I owned came with one and it was efficient and good so I felt comfortable.

      4. I exchanged my front loader for a traditional top loading machine. It just didn’t get things clean.

    3. I’ve had my Kenmore washer (top loader) and dryer from Sears for 11 years now. They’re white, nothing fancy, and work horses. We’ve never had any problems with them and with two toddlers, we’ve done a LOT of laundry.

    4. I have a top-loading high efficiency washer and I love it. I get the benefits commonly associated with front loaders–low water usage, no agitator to destroy clothes, more capacity–but none of the funky smell. My model is a few years old and I don’t think it’s for sale anymore, but I don’t know that the model really matters–just the category of high-efficiency top-loaders is what I’d recommend.

    5. Another voice of dissent – I have had front loading washers and driers for more than 15 years (moves have made me get 3 different sets) and would never own anything else. Bought a LG pair last fall and am very happy. Manufacturers are very aware of the moisture issue and my current one has a magnet that allows the washer door to remain open a fraction of an inch or so to dry out between wash days. Never had any problems. Front loaders are SO MUCH MORE GENTLE on your clothes and IMO are worth it for this reason alone.

    6. We have GE Profile ones that have lasted for five plus years purchased on my dad’s employee discount. Buy the biggest ones that will fit in your space if you are lazy like me and don’t like to do laundry. We bought a top loading washer (king-size) and a COLOSSAL size dryer which I think is hilarious. Our washer doesn’t have a traditional agitator and it has a second rinse and spin cycle, which I love because I’m sensitive to soaps.

    8. We have a front-loading washer/dryer combo unit and I LOVE it. It is so good for working people because you just throw a load in the unit when you leave for work in the morning and when you come home, it’s dry and ready for you. YMMV, but I think it’s ideal for working families when you don’t have someone at home t switch the laundry.

      A friend called it the Crock-Pot of Laundry, and I think that’s totally right.

      1. I don’t know if I would feel comfortable running a washer and dryer while I wasn’t home though. I never leave the house with either running, and assumed most people didn’t either…is that just me?

    9. If you’re open to used, check craigslist. You can get an excellent price. You may have to watch for the right one, but it’s not uncommon (in my area) to see 1-2 year old sets in good condition begin sold because owners are moving, bought a house with them and wanted something else, etc.

      My dryer shopping tip is to get one where the lint catchment handle is either outside the tub or completely flush. We had a dryer where the lint screen handle stuck out a bit inside the tub in front of the door, and it ruined many items of clothing because they’d get caught, twisted, and ripped.

      1. Yes to Craigslist if you have a way to move a machine yourself (a friend with a truck, etc). We’ve bought all our washers and dryers for our rentals and own house off Craigslist and haven’t had a dud yet. Our rule of thumb is that every $100 of used washer or dryer buys you a year – so if the washer we paid $300 is still kicking after 3 years we consider ourselves ahead and start saving for the next CL purchase.
        Also another reason to Craigslist for your rental is that depending on where you move you might want to just leave a Craigslist washer behind – not such a big deal if you didn’t pay much for it.

    10. For a rental, I would definitely just get the cheapest version (new) or buy something used on Craigslist. The best thing about the cheapest versions at Home Depot, etc. is that they do not include lots of bells and whistles – they are just workhorses. And that means they probably can withstand being moved. In my experience, fancy ones with lots of settings are more likely to not withdstand the move as well.

    11. Check out homedepot.com We’ve bought all of our appliaces on sale there after reading reviews and then decreased the cost further by buying giftcards at raise.com In my experience, appliances without tons of bells and whistles last longer.

  9. What do you do to shake a bad mood at work? I’ve been in an awful mood all week (not sure why, nothing is objectively wrong) and I’ve currently quarantined myself in my office with the door closed in hopes of not infecting anyone else with my crankiness.

        1. But if its been multiple days, she could probably find time for shots! (Or wine. I do wine.)

    2. I try to take a break. Get out of the office and do something small that makes you happy. Go get ice cream (this worked for me yesterday), or a coffee, or fresh flowers for your office, or a book to read after work. Getting out of the office and in to the fresh air for 15 min will help, as will the treat you get yourself.

      If that doesn’t work or you can’t do that, find a project that takes a lot of concentration and dive in. I’ve found it helpful to throw myself into something that takes all of focus so I can’t think about being in a bad mood.

      I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, and good luck shaking it.

    3. sometimes a walk will help me substantially. like 15 minutes around the block. sometimes doing something super nice for me once I leave after a particularly bad day/week (i.e. massage, pedicure, piece of cake) helps. the work week is almost over. hope yours is too.

    4. Buy flowers for your desk. Get a “happy” light. Buy flavored tea, cocoa or coffee. Schedule a chair massage on lunch or a full massage for the weekend. (Happy Thanksgiving BTW.) Listen to music via headphones. Give yourself a hand massage, do chair stretches (instructions online via google). I’m in the same boat and thinking of ways to be happy.

    6. I take a 20 minute break and go to Shoppers Drug Mart or Sephora to spend my feelings on makeup. Not a particularly healthy coping mechanism, but I gave a kickass lipstick collection!

    7. I have a playlist for breaking out of my funk. Includes: Under Pressure, a lot of Destiny’s Child/fun Beyonce (Single Ladies, Crazy, Independent Woman), Turn the Beat Around, Manic Monday (the Bangles!), Shakira, It’s Raining Men, etc….

    8. Thanks for all the advice yesterday ladies! I managed to escape a little early and meet some friends for wine so that helped. And at least it’s FRIDAY!

  10. Does anyone else struggle with letting themselves be vulnerable while dating? How do you address it? I’m in my early 30’s (ie old enough to have been cheated on in a past relationship) and have recently met a great guy. Although we haven’t known each other long, we’ve talked on the phone for hours every day for the past few weeks without skipping a beat. I can feel myself falling for him and he has stated that he’s “infatuated” with me. I feel like I should be enjoying this time but I’m starting to feel stressed that I’ll fall in love with him/bare my heart and he won’t feel the same way. I’ve always says that I want a guy who truly gets me, but now that I’ve found one who does it makes me feel completely exposed! Help!

    2. I think you just need to slow things down. Stop talking to him for hours a day. That’s a recipe to fall I to middle school style infatuation quickly. Make dates. Go on them. See how you feel. Infatuation doesn’t last but it can be fun. Keep it to a manageable part of your life.

      1. +1. Don’t let your hours long phone calls take the place of other parts of your life, and don’t focus all your energy and thoughts on this one thing. Make sure you keep up with, and make plenty of time for, your friends, your work, other dates, your ‘you’ time. Keep your regular routine. Try to relax & enjoy yourself as the relationship grows… I know it sounds cliche, but what will be, will be.

    3. I think the comments so far have been a little stark and insensitive. I also think that if it didn’t scare you at least a little bit to be on the brink of embarking on something that has no guarantee of panning out, but has more promise than other past relationships, you wouldn’t really be human! Especially in our early 30s, when there is some anxiety around finding a long-term partner more quickly than in our 20s, it’s pretty natural to fret that what you’re getting into might be too good to be true.

      If the fear is making you pull away, then perhaps it might be helpful to see a therapist. But if you’re just acknowledging the fear and examining the reasons for it (and it sounds like you are–you recognize that it’s your past, and not this man, that is creating the fear), then I think you’re fine. Deep breaths and focusing on the good aspects should be helpful.

      1. I agree with Anon- this is what makes a new relationships exciting. I think a few things are important here: he’s shown you he cares for you. He has told you he cares for you. This is on you, which you recognize. (Luckily) no one has cheated on me, but I have been with men who have been cheated on and I think it’s important for you to put yourself in his shoes (where I have been). From his eyes, he hasn’t done anything to hurt you and it can be frustrating for him to do nothing wrong and open up to you and yet you never trust him or open up to him. If this is truly an obstacle for you, please do talk to someone about it. I’m unclear if you’ve been seeing him or just talking a lot over the phone. Spending time face-to-face is so important for building trust and relationships, so I’d encourage you to see him, to your comfort level.

  11. I picked up fresh pasta yesterday, and for fear of having it dry out, I cooked the entire 1lb. I have a ton left over, but I have no idea how to reheat it without it coming out all sticky and weird. The leftover pasta is completely plain, no butter, no oil, nothing.

    Any ideas/tips on how I can reheat it?

      1. Ditto. I tend to refrigerate my pasta with a teensy bit of sauce to avoid the weird stickiness. If you wanted it cold (pasta salad) I’d add it into a large bowl with your dressing and coat it well while gently turning it to break it up before adding in your other ingredients.

    2. Add water to the pasta portion, cover with cling wrap, microwave. It will steam it. And add a sauce, anyway. And cheese. Yum!

      2. +1

        I do this, except instead of cling wrap, I wet a paper towel and put the wet paper towel on top of the bowl of pasta with water.

      3. I do the same thing with rice. Gets rid of that weird crunchiness that microwaved rice gets.

      1. Agree to dump in hot water for 30 seconds or into bubbling sauce. Next time, cool slightly and then coat with olive oil before it cools and sticks.

  12. Any advice on how to pick a therapist? I don’t really feel like polling all of my friends…

    1. I asked my main doctor – my ob/gyne, and went down the list calling everyone once I focused on a geographical area. Very few called back, actually. So, of those 3 or 4 who called back, see who’s taking new patients and who is convenient, and go.

      I’ve tried 2 or 3 “new patient” therapists in a 3-4 week period – it’s an exhausting process, most new intake appointments are 90 minutes+ but it’s important to find a good fit.

      If you have an Employee Assistance Program, you may want to start there. They may have a list online or be able to send one to you.

      1. Oh just wanted to say – at the end of the intake appointments, I make an appointment for whenever for the next appointment, and then if i don’t want to see that therapist anymore I just call them later and cancel it. I usually leave a message.

    2. Ended up in moderation…

      I actually used Google to search for someone in my area. I perused their webs!tes and then reached out to those whose approach or philosophy I liked to see if they were taking new patients. I happened to find someone I really like and have been working with now for over a year.

      Initially, I had a list of recommended therapists from my previous therapist whom I was seeing while in school through my law school’s counseling center. For several reasons, I decided that it would be better to find someone on my own, though.

      In any case, don’t be afraid to visit a few therapists. It’s so important to find someone with whom you are comfortable and feel you have a good rapport. I had several sessions with perfectly nice therapist, but we just didn’t click. I wasn’t really at ease, she picked up on that, and it just resulted in some awkward and slightly tense sessions.

      Good luck!

  13. I don’t mean to threadjack, but I would appreciate some help.

    I am an executive in a business casual office. I would like to buy some tights / leggings.

    For some things (shorter tunics) the leggings should be totally opaque and rather thick.

    For some things (longer tunics) I think it’s fine if the fabric of the leggings is slightly more sheer, perhaps not 100% cotton.

    I can not for the life of me figure out where to buy leggings that differentiate this way, so I can buy them online. What brand should I be looking for? What online store? I don’t want to spend a fortune, but I do want to look professional, not like I’m 3 years old.

    2. I think the Hue Ultra Wide Waistband leggings are great. They are thick and not sheer at all. N0rdstrom sells them and has free shipping and returns if you don’t like them. IMHO, you don’t need opaque and not-opaque – I just wear the same type (non sheer) for everything. Except with suits, of course, then I wear nylons, not leggings.

    4. For thicker, more opaque leggings, check out Loft. I bought a pair of ponte leggings there that I think fit your needs. They may no longer have the same ones, but I think they still have something similar.

      For slightly thinner leggings, I agree with Wildkitten. Hue or Zella are good bets.

    5. If you want a great store to peruse, go to sockdreams.com. I’ve gotten some excellent super thick opaque warm tights there.

    6. Even for longer tunics, you may want to get opaque leggings because the slightly sheer ones will not keep you warm.

    7. I love the Hue Pont Knit leggings for either of these purposes. They’re completely opaque, have low profile back pockets, and are really comfortable.

    8. Leggings are great, but they are not business casual attire. They are casual-casual.

      1. I think under a long business-y tunic they are just acting as even-better-tights. But, when I saw the question at first I assumed the OP was in a supportive role. As a female executive I would not be comfortable in leggings ever, because they do read young.

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