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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 156 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: I Love Your Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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ModCloth I Love Your Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This dress is slightly on the casual side, but: 412 positive reviews!! It was sold out a few weeks ago so I put it on my list to check back, and it's currently in stock in most sizes (S-3X). It's fun to look through the reader reviews and see women of all shapes and sizes in their dresses — it looks to be pretty flattering on everyone. While you're at ModCloth, do check out some of their Halloween stuff (I like this sweater with hands), their highly rated Airport Greeting Cardigan, their large selection of tights (yes, including fleece tights), and what looks like a great selection of work dresses (many up to size 3X). The dress is $49.99 at ModCloth (also available in olive and black). ModCloth I Love Your Dress Seen a great piece youd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

    • rachelellen

      Okay, I’ll bite – what does “airport greeting” mean? Is the sweater evocative of airport reunions somehow?

      • Ellen

        Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love fruegel friday’s and this dress, tho it is to causal for work, but at $50, I can aford to buy it for me, and if I dont like it, I will give it to Rosa, since we are now the same size! YAY!!!!

        As for the OP, I think an airport greeting dress is one that is very frilly b/c when you are in the airport and sitting for a long period, you get swetty, so if you have to greet and hug someone, you do NOT want to have to dress cling to you, so it has to be a littel loose to get air underneeth and in the armpit’s. That is MY guess.

        I will be needing to wear something like this next week, b/c my clinical law profesor invited me to talk to his law school class in DC about litieagation in the NY Court system. Even tho they are NOT NY lawyer’s down there, he think’s it won’t matter and alot of them (like me) go to NY to become lawyer’s anyway. He think’s that b/c I am such a young PARTNER now, that I will have alot of good thing’s to say to the class and that mabye I will be a legal inspiration to the class, since the practise of law is slowley changeing and is NOT as lucreative as it was when I started practiceing 5 year’s ago. He offered to pay for my AMTRAK fare, but the manageing partner said he would foot the bill as long as I made up the hours.

        Since I will be gone a full day next week, I have to figure out how to bill 18 hour’s this weekend so that I do NOT get behind in my montheley billeing’s. FOOEY b/c the manageing partner is tyeing my bonus to the TOTAL # of hours I bill, even if I wind up doeing this, which he will consider PRO BONO time.

        So I have to come in tomorrow and bill mabye 15 hours or so (it will be raining anyway), and prepare my speech, which will onley be 50 minute’s to the class. The profesor will then take me out for dinner in DC and I hope to catch the AMTRAK and be home in bed by 1130pm. A long day, but now that I am a law firm partner, that is part of the job, the manageing partner says. He also asked me to see if I can get any busness out of it from the school, even tho I am NOT admitted in DC. We have that old scussy guy nearby and we can get him to share any billeings he can generate, but the manageing partner is not happy with that arrangement b/c he has NOT referred any cases up to us. FOOEY!

        The manageing partner’s brother’s apartement look’s nice inside. I think I will get him something for his bureau. He has absolutely no taste in furniture, but I do NOT want to have to go shoppeing with him again b/c he hint’s to the store clearks that I am haveing sex with him. FOOEY!

      • Baconpancakes

        Modcloth gives all of their clothes cutesy names, and write some adorable scenario where you’d wear this cardigan. There doesn’t seem to be a description on this one, but it’s probably supposed to be something like, “You’re flying home for Thanksgiving and you’ve got hours on the plane -but no fear! In this zippered cardigan, burgundy stretch jeans, and cropped mushroom-colored suede booties, you’ll be warm and comfortable while reading your favorite mags and staying hydrated with sparkling water. Kick back and cozy up – your style is about to take off!”

        • Anon

          Baconpancakes, I think you’ve found a new calling in case your day job doesn’t work out!

          If you click on “details and measurements” you’ll find their description, and it’s a little scary how similar they are –

          racing yourself for a long day of travel, you take comfort in the fact that you’ll be with oodles of friends and family by dinnertime! You’ve got your itinerary, you’re dressed comfortably in this burgundy cardigan with caramel cords, stacked-wood wedges, and a tapestry-print carry-on that matches your brand-new set of luggage.

          • Senior Attorney

            +1

            BTW, I actually ate pancakes with bacon cooked inside them at the Corporette L.A. meetup last weekend.

            True story.

            And… dang! Forgot about the moderation for thissite name!

    • TO Lawyer

      I have the airport cardigan (funnily enough I wear it a lot on planes in the winter because it’s so comfy) and I love it. I highly recommend it if someone is debating it.

      • 2 Cents

        Now that I’ve seen it, I want! Do you dry clean or machine wash on delicate? That’s the one tripping point for me.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      How is the sizing? I’ve never bought anything Caslon. Is it juniors?

    • Flower

      I love the Caslon one. I work from home but was getting tired of wearing college sweatshirts everyday and wanted something a little nicer, but equally as comfortable. I’m also planning on wearing it on the plane for an upcoming trip. I found the sizing consistent with the other brands in that section – Halogen, Vince Camuto, etc., so I’d say more tts than junior.

    • Bonnie

      Love the dress and the sweater.

      Now for a threadjack: I took a day off work to deal with contractors and they cancelled 5 minutes before the appointment, blaming car trouble. When I pointed out that they could have told me 2 hours earlier when they first learned of the issue so I could have gone to work, the receptionist got angry with me. I sense a bad Yelp review coming… So irritated.

    • lucy stone

      The Eddie Bauer Outlet, of all places, has a great sweatshirt that’s very similar to this jacket and sweater. I have two!

  2. Lady Day Coat Lover

    PSA to the reader considering the JCrew Lady Day coat yesterday – all full price styles are 30% off today!

      • Carrie...

        I would reconsider…..

        It is so popular, but it honestly is not as nice looking as I had hoped. Some people have suggested that the design/materials have changed over the years…. I got one on sale, but find I don’t wear it.

        To me, it is a little stiff, doesn’t drape nicely, with a more casual feel than I would like for a work coat. While the pictures make it look a little softer/more boiled wool like, it is not.

        • Anonymous

          Good to know. Do you know if they have it in stores to try on before I take the plunge?

        • S

          Agreed. I actually like the lands end version better – I think it has higher quality fabric.

          • Carrie...

            Which one do you like at LE?

            http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-luxe-wool-walker-coat/id_258752_59

            This one? It is popular, and I even ordered one to look at this year since I am not happy with my JCrew. I do like the feel of the wool much better, and the drape, and there are some good colors. I also really like the standing collar, which makes it more elegant to me. This is a decent coat for a relatively inexpensive price.

            But I returned it too. I didn’t like the buttons etc.. on the sleeves, which made it more casual. And the coat I received didn’t have a well defined/standing collar. The fabric didn’t have enough structure there.

            It is a great deal for a coat though.

            Since I shop so rarely in stores these days, I do not know if you can go try LadyDay on at a store. But you can always buy it and return it.

          • Baconpancakes

            Will they likely have the luxe wool walker coat in more colors this year? I think I remember them having a camel colored one last year, which sold out.

  3. ModCloth wrap dresses

    We’ve talked about the Gemma and DVF wrap dresses. How are the ModCloth wraps? I am thinking of one since LE doesn’t seem to be bringing it’s wrap style back (yet — please, please?).

      • Clementine

        ModCloth carries a number of different brands through its website, so quality may vary among brands. Overall though, I’ve been extremely satisfied with the clothes I’ve ordered there, particularly with the dresses I’ve ordered.

        I really love that they offer the measurements of the clothes lying flat and have had a lot of luck using both measurements and reviews to choose a size.

        I’ve also gotten a few shoes there and been pleasantly surprised by the quality, particularly for faux leather and suede shoes.

      • Baconpancakes

        Their marketing and styling makes the clothes look “cheaper” than they are, IMO. Everything I’ve bought from Modcloth has been surprisingly good quality.

      • Aurora

        I agree with the other poster on the importance of finding specific brands you like on Modcloth. Modcloth also has a great review system, and users regularly post photos of themselves, so I’ll usually wait to buy a piece until it has at least a few reviews so I can see how stuff looks on a real person and read what they say about fit and quality.

        That said, Modcloth pieces in general usually meet or exceed my expectations for the price; I have multiple dresses that have held up well for years. I own a lot of their jersey dresses (including today’s post but in light blue) and, although the fabric is thinner than my “nice” jersey dresses, I’m super happy with them as something to throw on for the weekend or a casual day–they’re also great for travel.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve gotten 2 amazing dresses from Modcloth. I bought both on sale and they were significantly higher quality than expected. One was a really thick, jersey body con dress that’s super flattering, warm and comfortable. The other was a lacy/chiffon dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner.

      I totally agree with Baconpancakes – I was nervous about the lacy/chiffon dress but it looked amazing in person and photographed beautifully.

    • PolyD

      I am not sure where to put this, but the code DRESS30 will get you 30% off on Modcloth dresses. I just tried it and it worked!

    • Monday

      It’s one of those instances where I’m almost glad the person said it so that the public discussion happens and the gaffer (hopefully) then learns why it was problematic. If his handlers had preempted the comment while prepping him for the panel, he might never actually clue in about why it demonstrated ignorance, perpetuated apathy (and sexism) and was also terrible advice.

      • Former Partner, Now In-House

        Exactly. Because somehow, in this country, until something trickles down to the front page of USA Today or Good Morning America level, there is no widespread discussion about it. Now, we are there. I hope.

    • ExParalegal

      You’re more generous than I am to call it a “gaffe”. I’d call it “what he actually thinks and then realized that he’s not supposed to say it & he might be wrong”.

      • anon

        Totally agree. This is what Fortune’s Data Sheet by Heather Clancy had to say about it this morining:

        “Microsoft CEO backpedals on salary comments. After an on-stage interview in Phoenix at the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing conference, Satya Nadella drew criticism for his “advice” about how women could advance their careers.

        The comments that have everyone worked up are at about 1:35:00 in this archived Webcast: “It’s not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along. That, I think, might be one of the additional superpowers that, quite frankly, women who don’t ask for a raise have. Because that’s good karma. It’ll come back because somebody’s going to know that’s the kind of person that I want to trust.”

        About 29% of Microsoft’s workforce is female, which is about the same ratio as other high-tech giants including Google. The industry knows it needs to change things.

        Nadella quickly realized the extent of his gaffe. He sent a Tweet soon after, noting: “Was inarticulate re how women should ask for raise. Our industry must close gender pay gap so a raise is not needed because of a bias.”

        And, he also sent an email to Microsoft employees, admitting “I answered that question completely wrong. Without a doubt, I wholeheartedly support programs at Microsoft and in the industry that bring more women into technology and close the pay gap.”

        One good thing to come of this: the coverage of this speech (which would otherwise would have been minimal) should go a long way toward raising awareness.”

        • NYNY

          For the record, my superpowers include kicking ass, taking names, and getting sh!t done. Passivity is not a superpower.

        • Blonde Lawyer

          I initially read it as women should be quiet and not assertive and just hope we do good by you. But then I thought about it further (maybe after reading his back peddling attempts) and wonder if it could fairly be read to say “rather than teach women to ask for raises let’s teach companies to give fair pay so that they don’t have to ask for raises.” If that is what he meant to say, let’s pay people what they are worth so they don’t have to ask to be paid more, then I think it was a fair statement.

          • Sacha

            I want to read it the second way, but the superpowers part is irreconcilable. Why is being passive a “superpower” specific to women? It’s not — it is a quality companies/supervisors appreciate in women that perhaps creates longevity for women at their companies, but not equality in pay.

          • Katie

            I wish he’d meant that, but his words say otherwise. He specifically said that women shouldn’t ask for raises, and didn’t say anything that indicated in the least that men and women should be paid equally. Don’t let his “apology” fool you; he meant what he initially said, and now he’s trying to backpeddle because of bad publicity.

    • Anon

      A polititician in my country literally recommended women learn golf to succeed in the workforce and said that the pay gap was justified.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I think learning golf is really good advice. A lot of business is done on the golf course and there is no reason why women can’t play the game. Many women actually fought hard for the right to be allowed on the course and I think it is unfortunate so few women use the opportunity. It certainly doesn’t justify the pay gap of course! It is easier to ask someone to golf with you than to ask them to dinner and have to worry they think you are asking them on a date. It doesn’t stop me from asking someone to dinner either but it is one way to avoid that.

        • Anon

          I don’t. It’s one thing to play in the occasional golf tournament and “network” but the real networking that men have the inside track on happens every Saturday and Sunday morning on the course with their buddies and that is still an all male/women aren’t “in” club. You’re fooling yourself if you think the occasional ladies day on the course or work event gives you the same access.

          • Blonde Lawyer

            I was thinking more league and tournament play. I’m not there yet. Not good enough and not yet a member ($$).

          • Anonymous

            Blonde Lawyer – if you enjoy it, do it, I just don’t see it becoming an effective business strategy for women any time soon.

    • snowy

      A friend of mine from college who works for MS was posting all over the place the last few days about how awesome the conference was! go women! male allies! etc. After this snafu… silence. Lol.

    • Annon2

      I was planning to go to this conference paying out of my own pocket for travel/hotel/conference fees, glad I did not go. Would have been a waste of money to listen to this drivel. What bull crap about super powers !

  5. Anonymous

    I just want to say that I’m appalled at the differentials of care in our healthcare system. I’m currently grieving, but it’s verifiable and really upsets me. Especially because I’m virtually certain this contributed (perhaps a lot) to my loved one’s death.

    Anyway, I don’t really know what I’m looking for here, but I feel the need to say something somewhere. Carry on.

    • Monday

      I’m sorry for your loss, and I can relate. During my Dad’s treatment for terminal cancer I witnessed all kinds of errors and other scary features of the system–and he was supposedly getting “the best.” It’s deeply sad and unfair.

      • Anonymous

        Thank you, I really appreciate it. My loved one was uneducated and really poor, so definitely not getting the best of care. And therefore wasn’t in the best position to get information to try to understand her options and make an informed decision. Not to mention the other kinds of errors you mention. It’s just so unfair :(

        • Katie

          I’m so sorry for your loss. A good friend of mine recently went through something similar with her bio dad, who had no insurance and no assets. He was only in his 50s, and her understanding was that his condition would have been completely manageable had he had access to real, preventive healthcare. It’s appalling.

    • Carrie...

      I am so sorry for your loss.

      It is awful to be struggling with anger, in addition to your sadness.

      Yes – the healthcare system can be very unfair, and it pains me every day. The scary thing is that this happens even in excellent hospitals/clinics, and even with very good doctors. It is depressing to see how easy it can be for things to be missed, poor choices made, and neglect can happen.

      Everyone must have an advocate fighting for them….. usually a spouse or a family member. None of us is at our best when we are sick. And yes, doctors/nurses/therapists etc… make judgments, make mistakes, are tired and overworked, and many times treat us as members of groups rather than individuals. It is human nature, I’m afraid.

      I have a close family member who sustained terrible injuries after an accident. It was clear immediately that if he hadn’t had an educated advocate, he would have died quickly. I saw others with less severe injuries quickly decline, most often because they didn’t have anyone there for support and to fight for them.

      I strongly encourage everyone to be aware of this. At some point, you may need to become an advocate for someone in your family. Please talk with your parents about any wishes about their health, life and death. Make sure medical power of attorneys are in place.

      • Wildkitten

        Yo. Everyone. Sure this happens everywhere but it doesn’t happen the same everywhere! There are seriously unfair disparities in health care in this country! http://kff.org/disparities-policy/

        This is exactly like with the poor thing when someone said “Yeah, it’s tough for rich people too.” Rawr.

        • Anonymous (OP)

          I agree, but point taken on the having a well informed & educated advocate. The person who tried to do that for my loved one was herself limited in many ways, and I wasn’t close enough geographically to be able to play a major role. It’s really not fair.

          • Carrie...

            Ouch.

            Actually, read my post again. I am not saying my family member is the same as the OP’s family member. I am describing a personal experience where I witnessed such inequality. My family is not rich, and they were treated in the County hospital – mostly Medicaid patients, and family member on Medicare.

            And I repeat – unfortunately in our health care system…. yes, you need an attentive advocate. It is less essential when you have a minor medical problem, and more essential with a major one. It is absolutely required if you are unable to advocate for yourself.

            It is what it is. And as we try to make health care more equitable in this country, which I completely agree with….. it will be even more necessary.

          • Anonymous (OP)

            Yeah, I agree with you, Wildkitten. I just think that Carrie is right that given the situation, that’s the best I can do for my loved ones. I hate it, and I’m trying to find all the ways I can do better when it’s my parents’ time to go through this. If there were anything I thought I could do to change the systemic problens, I would do it.

          • Blonde Lawyer

            Carie,

            I appreciate your input from within the medical field all the time on this blog.

            Wildkitten,

            I don’t think Carie is discounting that poor people have a much harder time in the healthcare system. I think she is saying “hey, this is a good reminder for everyone, medical advocates are absolutely necessary.”

            I have some chronic health issues and my head spins at the things I only got by self advocating and in one instance, self paying. I can’t imagine those with less means, particularly the educational background to read and understand an insurance policy, attempting to do the same.

            I think what we all can do to help is to fight the injustices we see even if they might not be worth our time and effort if it would make a difference to someone else who couldn’t. For example, my insurance is misclassifying a test as surgery and it is means a $150 difference in copay. I have the means to pay that and would rather pay it then spend 10 hours on the phone with them. But, this post is reminding me to fight it so maybe they will be less likely to do the same to someone else, for whom $150 might mean making rent or not.

        • Carrie...

          btw… I am a volunteer for a non-profit that signs people up for Medicaid/County Care and Obamacare in the West side of Chicago.

          But maybe you were put off by my post that said that mistakes/bad things happen even in good hospitals. Ok you win. But that’s true too.

          • Wildkitten

            I was put off by everything you said in your post after the first two sentence.

          • Carrie...

            That’s your right.

            My mother recently died and my father will soon. Those two sentences would have been a big comfort to me if someone had actually said them to me. Hope you aren’t in a similar position.

          • Anonymous

            Wildkitten, you’re the most obnoxious commenter on this blog. You argue about everything for the sake of arguing and are so rude. Carrie, your post was kind and insightful and I wasn’t put off by anything in it.

          • Anonymous

            Thanks, Carrie, for your perspective. There’s really no call for Wildkitten’s rudeness. It’s been happening a lot lately and seems to be more her problem than anyone else’s.

      • A Clark

        Yup. Everybody needs an advocate.. A Yale medical professor talked about the need for advocates and even gave an example of when she herself ended up in the hospital after complications/errors/and assumptions that occurred after giving birth to her baby. She was a medical professor and yet was told that she was wrong, to go home and take antibiotics and call it a day until she ended up hospitalized because they missed something!

    • Sunshine

      I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you mean and have gone through something similar, albeit with a different outcome. A frail, elderly relative of mine would have died in the hospital if we hadn’t insisted on moving her to another facility and different doctors. Her supposedly “incurable” dementia miraculously cleared up as soon as all of her powerful medications (for a different chronic condition) were properly administered again. As this went on, I thought about how fortunate we were to have family nearby to advocate for her, and that we knew enough about the healthcare system to get her the care she needed.

      Slight tangent, but my major concern with “healthcare reform/Obamacare” is that it mainly addressed health insurance, not health care. Insurance is a huge help, but if you can’t get high quality care, that’s a major problem. Both sides of the equation need to be addressed in order to really reform the system.

      • NYNY

        Agree to a point on your tangent, insurance =/= healthcare. But it’s important to note that the uninsured have little to no access to healthcare, so coverage removes some barriers.

        Still, access for Medicaid patients is limited, and patient education for Medicaid patients is nearly nonexistent. Even if everyone had coverage, under our current system, there are tiers of service, with the wealthy, educated, privately insured getting much better care than the old, the poor, and the undereducated.

    • Anonymous

      I am so sorry. There is a lot you can do, either as an advocate through policy or a volunteer in a care facility. You can take your pick (or both!). I would strongly encourage you to work through your feelings with a therapist (particularly one with experience in social work) before moving into a volunteer advocacy position. Once you have had some time/space, figure out what are the problems you want to address. Is it the hospital? The lack of an advocate? The lack of appropriate services because of your loved ones health insurance? You can’t tackle everything all at once, but if you focus you can really make a difference.

    • anonforthis

      ((hugs)) My brother died recently and he was on Medicaid. Did he die because he was on Medicaid? I don’t know. He had a serious genetic disorder that made him very sick very fast, maybe even if he’d had great healthcare he’d have died.

      My mom is beating herself up a lot about it, as it sounds like you are. In the end, there is only so much you can do when the system is broken. Don’t feel like you could have done more by advocating, as some seem to be suggesting here. You’re right to think it’s unfair and the system is broken.

  6. Canadiennne

    For the OP who was recently looking for in-office coffee options: This thing called the “minipresso” just came out. It’s a small hand operated espresso maker using either grounds or pods. You just need to pour hot water in it and pump it by hand. Anyway, I think I would wait for some user reviews to come out before I bought it, but it looks really neat. Link to follow.

  7. Kristina

    I have this dress and I adore it! Super flattering, great color. I get lots of compliments on it.

  8. Love the firm, hate the city

    Does anyone here have experience with moving to a new office within the same firm? I am a first year associate coming up on my first anniversary with my firm, and I would like to transfer to a different office in a different state. I have decent work-related reasons for the move (I’ve spent the past year working in a niche practice that I love but no one in my current office practices in that area and one of the few partners for whom I primarily work is in the target office), but my real motivation is that I strongly dislike my current city (size, culture, climate, etc.). Am I too new to request a transfer? When asking about transferring, should I discuss my real motivations or focus on the career-oriented reasons? How do firms typically handle the second bar exam process (time off to study, costs, etc.)? I would appreciate any advice you ladies have.

    • Anonymous

      I would think that partner you work for in target city is your primary mover and shaker. Can you arrange for a long weekend in target city and work from that office one day? Go out to lunch with partner and make it known you’d be interested? I think it’s fine to share both that it obviously makes sense job wise, and that you like city x because y (where y is not “lifestyle” that sounds lazy. Family ties? You prob at least have several cousins there right?).

      In terms of second bar study I wouldn’t even mention this until after the transfer has been approved, and anticipate that they will pay the cost of the exam but not like Barbri again. When I needed to take another bar exam after a year of practice I studied on weekends and took one week off. If you’re thinking you’ll get substantially more than that I think you will be disappointed.

    • Cat

      1. No, you’re not too new to request a transfer for the practice-based reason you mention.

      2. Say nothing about hating your current city and focus on the positives – after all, the people who need to approve your transfer live and work there. Frame it as “good for the firm/practice… and I also happen to enjoy New Office City as well, so I would be pleased from a personal perspective too.”

      3. At my firm, people are typically given 2 weeks off to study for the bar, and the firm pays for the cost of taking the exam, etc. (not a second round of Barbri though.) But I’d hold off on those questions (they wouldn’t be dealbreakers, right – even if you had to eat the cost or take vacation days to study, you’d still want to transfer?) until after the move is approved.

      ETA – I agree with Anon’s suggestion above to visit the other office and work from there for a few days, and also to approach that partner before anyone else (both for guidance and support for the move).

    • RR

      I switched offices in my firm within the same state. Basically, I started working with a new practice group, and everyone was on board. The head of the new practice group just found me an office, and we informed accounting, HR, IT, etc. It happens fairly often in my firm, even office to office, although usually with more senior people.

      At my firm, you’d cover the costs of the bar exam, but people would be understanding about studying.

    • ac

      The fact that you work for a partner in the city is a huge positive. While I’ve seen a lot of associates move offices — and found it rarely works out as well as hoped and/or is a pit stop before leaving the firm entirely — this seems like a more promising situation. You need partner on your side, so I would talk to him/her, explain you want to move to New City (without talking about why you hate Old City), and ask if he/she would support your request to move.

      I defer to the ladies above re: bar expenses/study/time.

  9. Ladies, I need your help please!

    Hello all. I’m hoping to get some advice or maybe even just friendly encouragement. I will be interviewing for an internal promotion next week. It’s a bit of a long shot, because I do not meet the requirements on paper, but my boss has encouraged me to apply anyway, which is a nice confidence boost. I just found out that the expected interview attire is business formal. I have an “OK” suit from the Gap, but since I last wore it, I have gained about 15 lbs. I know it will not fit. The pants are a 16 (I would likely need an 18) and the jacket is a 20, which I believe is the largest they make, and now I’d need something bigger. Since I can’t magically lose the 15 lbs. by next week (oh how I wish!) I will need to find something else to wear. I also have very limited funds right now. Do any of you have a suggestion on where I could find a fairly inexpensive suit, quickly, in my rather odd size combination? Oh, and to further complicate matters, I am tall (5’9″) so would likely need immediate onsite tailoring/hemming of pants. Any help is so very much appreciated. Thank you!

    • L

      Macy’s stat. you could do a dress/skirt suit and that would eliminate the need for hemming.

      • Amelia Pond

        Macy’s is having a suit sale this weekend (or at least their barrage of tv ads say they are)

      • Samantha

        +1 to Macy’s
        I had a similar situation (short-notice interview, wouldn’t wear the suit again, recent size change post-pregnancy) and I got a good deal (different sizes jacket & pants) at Macy’s.

    • Anonski

      I had the exact same problem, with almost the same numbers! Anyway, as soon as I found out about the interview, I went right away to Macy’s on my lunch hour and was able to get an inexpensive suit in my larger size. I seriously think it was $100 or less. And, I was pleased they had a lot of options, so I felt good about my choice. The last thing I wanted on my interview was to be distracted by a too tight suit.

    • lucy stone

      Are there any good consignment shops in your city? Do you have a Talbots? Their clearance racks can have great deals. Also check out Macy’s women’s section for Ralph Lauren items on clearance, they often have nice basic back sheaths and trousers. I would offer to send you something but we have flip-flopped sizes.

    • RR

      Macy’s, Jones New York (although not great on length), Lane Bryant (hit and miss on suits, but on an upswing lately I think and they have tall pants).

  10. To the woman seeking a Separation

    I hope you’re finding the courage to tell your husband to move out. Thinking of you!

    • Wildkitten

      No. I miss her too. I need more Hart of Dixie reference in my life. I know she was going through some job transition stuff. I will email her.

    • k-padi

      Just pinged her so maybe she’ll drop in. I saw her over the summer. She is indeed going through some transitions.

  12. Marie

    I’m getting so anxious waiting for bar exam results. I should find out within the next 2 weeks. Trying not to fixate – I’ll find out when I find out – but it’s not easy.

    • Anonymous

      I’m getting repetitive, but, really, shots. There’s nothing you can do and the odds are really good you passed. Go out tonight, do some shots, hook up with a hot bartender and enjoy your last few days of not being a lawyer.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        I’m already a lawyer but this sounds like such a good plan I might do it too…

      • Wildkitten

        If you could change your handle to “Shots, Shots, Shots, Shots, Shots” then I could know who you are when you post other things and also can we be best friends?

      • mintberrycrunch

        I’m in the same boat right now (waiting on VA results)… and I plan to adopt the “shots, shots, shots” plan immediately (well, at 5 pm at least…). Just wanted to throw you some commiseration (misery loves company?). We’ll get through!

  13. Anonymous

    Threadjack: I’m currently working for a state political party and deeply involved in the elections. When I was hired, it was with the explicit understanding that my job would only last through early November — and I was (and am) fine with that. At the end of the day yesterday, my boss came into my office to talk about wrap up (letting me know the last date I’d be paid, etc.). Everything she said was consistent with what had been agreed when I was hired.

    But, for reasons totally unrelated to work (anniversaries of sad events in my life), I’ve been a little down this week — I’ve mentioned this in passing to my boss, but haven’t given her details. And so, I’m afraid that during the conversation last night I gave the impression that I was upset about the news she was delivering. I teared up at one point and just generally feel like I gave the impression of being disappointed. In contrast, what I actually feel and would have wanted to convey is more along the lines of “This is what I knew was coming; what you’re offering is more generous than I would have anticipated, and I’ve appreciated the opportunity to be involved.”

    Is there any value in going back to her to say, “Hey, here’s how I actually feel about what we talked about last night?” Or (as is likely) am I just overthinking this and it’d be best to let it go?

    • Shots Shots Shots

      What? You’re concerned your boss might be concerned that you were upset that you’re losing your job? No. Get a grip.

    • Wildkitten

      You’re going to be spending 24/7 together for the next like 30 days so if it would make you feel better you can poke your head in and tell her your were upset about other things but are totally amped to rock and roll the next month. And then move on and get back to work.

  14. Goop

    Did anyone else read the comments Ms. Paltrow made to the president last night in front of a crowd at a fundraiser… something to the effect of “You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly.”

    That really irked me. We try so hard to get men to not make comments like that re: women, then she makes a comment like that. I don’t see the media jumping all over her the way they would if it was a man who reversed the comment and made it about a woman.

    I don’t like her, so this is biased, I suppose. And, I’m obviously not in favor of men making similar comments toward women. I guess it’s the lack of equal treatment by the media that makes me so angry.

    • AnonLawMom

      Didn’t see anything about it other than your post but, eh, I’d probably say the same thing if I was face to face with him. Swoon. But it’s Paltrow, so, ugh.

      • Anon

        Even if I was face-to-face, engaged in conversation with someone who DID affect my power to speak properly (Idris Elba comes to mind), I still wouldn’t TELL THEM THAT.

        • Anonymous

          Eh, I think the “Paltrow, ugh” reaction is right on. If a less noxious celeb said it it would probably be cute or funny.

    • Calico

      Negative references to this incident are all over the aggregation sites that I read.

    • Sacha

      I liken GP’s comments to those that BO made about Kamala Harris. Utterly inappropriate in the setting in both instances and I’m for equal rights, so GP should be blasted just like BO was.

  15. Yellow

    My husband and I are hoping to adopt a dog from a shelter soon. Any words of advice for the process, things to be aware of, etc? We’re going to a reputable no kill shelter that is known for screening people carefully (which I’m glad about!). So excited to finally be pulling the trigger on this!

    • Bewitched

      I don’t have words of advice but a word of caution-we rescued our last two dogs and while both were great, they both had “issues”. The first one had a problem with dog aggression-he was great with people but would try to attack other dogs (hello, liability concern!). We had to keep him on a leash at all times, stay away from other pet walkers and try as hard as we can to make sure he didn’t shoot out the front door if it was opened by an unsuspecting guest (lots of dogs in our neighborhood). Our current pup was never properly potty trained so he will poop in the house if not kept to a strict schedule. Attending dog training classes has helped, so I would say PLEASE be prepared to take whatever steps are necessary to address any issues which your pup might come with. They have baggage too, and it really does make a huge difference if you work with a professional to address the problems.

    • Katie

      Congrats! I have a rescue and volunteer at one. IME, be prepared for your dog’s personality to change a bit in the transition from shelter to finally feeling at home. Our dog was MUCH more subdued at the shelter than he is in reality- probably due to the stress and overstimulation of being on the street, being brought in to animal control, then taken to his shelter (which is a fantastic facility, but still involves lots of dogs barking and people coming through).

      Training is so important to their transition into your home, so I’d start looking for a trainer you’re comfortable with- this is good even for already “trained” dogs, especially if this will be your first. Dogs enjoy the challenge of a class and working on skills (and if it already knows the basics, then something like an agility class can be a lot of fun), and you get to know your dog better. I’d ask friends in your area about vets, too. And don’t go too crazy with buying doggie gear!

      Lastly, be prepared for a transition. It can take some time for even a well-behaved and previously trained dog to warm up to its new surroundings- accidents, chewed items, and some separation anxiety are super common. Enjoy your new family member!

    • Gail the Goldfish

      On that topic, thoughts on adopting animals from no kill shelters vs. kill shelters? I’m planning to adopt a pair of kittens soon, and on the one hand, I want to support no-kill shelters, but on the other hand, if I adopt them from a kill shelter (like our local county animal shelter), I potentially save them from being killed.

      • Wildkitten

        One thing I like about my local municipal shelter is that they are “open access” so they take any animal that is dropped off. Some no-kill shelters import cute baby animals from other parts of the country to re-sell, but don’t provide the same intake animal shelter service that I think is really important for the community.

        But I think that difference is more for dogs than cats. I’d get a kitten anywhere, I just happened to get the one I have from the same place I got his sister-dog.

      • Anonymous

        I just don’t think it matters. There are too many kittens and not enough homes. Adopt from wherever you feel more comfortable. Personally, I’m not opposed to euthanasia of unwanted animals and Id rather more places went that route than pretending that “supporting” feral cat colonies is a good idea.

      • Kate

        “No-kill” shelters are really not “better” than shelters who must euthanize. As a couple have mentioned, no-kill (or “limited-admission”) shelters only accept *some* of the animals who are brought there, while “open-admission”/”open-door” shelters accept every animal regardless of age, health, behavior, etc. They do the best they can but often have no choice but to euthanize some animals. In a way, so-called “no-kill” shelters are just passing off the problem to these other agencies. You probably are helping an animal even *more* if you adopt from an open-door shelter (and I worked at one for four years). Here’s a good explanation from a shelter: http://whatcomhumane.org/?faq#question_1

        • ELS

          Agreed, TBH. I have a rescued beagle (and had her mama until she died last year of old age). She was dropped off with her mama, and they were 10 and 6, respectively, at the time. Unspayed. Both had clearly been part of a puppy mill operation, and the older dog was pretty overweight.

          Despite being super lovely, housebroken, affectionate, and beautiful dogs, they were deemed “too old” and rejected from the county’s no-kill shelter. I got them at the local humane society, instead.

          I’ve had the younger of the two now for about 2 years, and she’s awesome.

      • Katie

        Getting animals out of any shelter is a good deed. The no kill where I volunteer gets its animals from the county animal control center, and tries to focus on adopting the less desirable animals, since the puppies/ kittens/ purebred will get snatched up anyway. Shelters do hard work, and an unfortunate consequence of uninformed breeding and lack of spaying/ neutering is that we have far more pets than most municipalities are able to handle. Kill shelters are a needed, but unfortunate consequence of this reality.

    • emeralds

      So exciting and congrats! If that shelter turns out to be wacky a la Wildkitten’s link, please remember that there are a ton of wonderful pups in your local city or county shelters that also need new homes.

      My only adoption-specific advice is to be willing to hold out for the right dog. When I was looking to acquire my own fluff-angel, I was originally going through a private rescue who were not willing to let me meet a lot of dogs–it was more of a “We’ll tell you what dogs would work for you” situation. There was one dog that was okay, but they were reeeaaaaally pushing me to adopt him. I went to my county shelter just to comparison-shop a little bit, and the first dog I saw staring out of her sad little cage was my perfect hiking buddy/nap companion/BFF. Trust your instincts.

    • Red Beagle

      Shelter pets are the best, but yes, do be prepared for baggage as well as great rewards. Our first dog Tommy was a shelter border collie who was phenomenally smart but suspicious of all men, particularly those wearing any type of uniform as apparently he’d suffered abuse in his original home from a man who wore some type of uniform. We had him 12 years and he never got past (or a distrust/dislike of children) but in many respects he was the best dog we’ve had (and we’ve had 6). Our other dogs have all come from rescue organizations and we got them young but already house trained. Tommy was the only male and I will say, females seem to lose their baggage sooner as a rule than males, at least in my small sample size. Trust your instincts when picking one. Some organizations will, as another poster wrote, try to push a certain one on you and while they may be a great dog for someone, if you don’t have that immediate bond, move on until you do. Be prepared to find the love of your life and another family member, not to mention many hours of joy and reward.

  16. cavity maker

    Im taking a huge professional certification exam in about 10 days. I am nervous and I have been studying super hard. I will be waiting 3+ months for results. What would you do to reward yourself?

    I would love to take a vacation with my spouse, but it’s not going to happen because of $$ and time off/schedules. I am trying to decide between something like a nice new road bike, a new handbag or a new pair of gorgeous shoes (jimmy choos/farragamo). I would normally consider getting a lovely new suit, but I’ve gained a bit of weight from not working out and studying all the time.

    • Shots Shots Shots

      Sounds like you have about $500 to spend? I’d check into a great hotel with spouse for a night or two nearby because hotel sex is hot, and enjoy a nice dinner.

          • Samantha

            OK I am imagining myself in a hotel room, drinking SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS and wearing my fleece tights!
            In my imagination, the hotel room is right above a Walgreens, so I can stock up in case I get a run or something.

    • Wildkitten

      Massage. Manicure. Wine. Sleep in. Pizza. Housekeeper. Wash and fold. = Things so you can relax and let your body adjust to not be so stressed out. If you insist on a tangible purchase I’d do handbag, but maybe a bike would be something you’d like to spend your newfound free time on?

  17. Andromeda

    I own this dress! (In olive green.) I do, in fact, love it – so easy, travels well, flattering on just about everyone. Just enough detail to be interesting, but still a simple enough canvas that you can take it in a lot of directions with your styling choices.

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