Coffee Break: Stacy Pump

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gray-heels-lifestrideI was shopping somewhere recently (DSW?) and saw this pump in real life and thought it looked like a nice basic if you're on the hunt. I've pictured it here in a gray, but it also comes in a wine and a black. And, bonus: it's only $42. It's available in medium and wide widths, sizes 5-11, at Zappos. LifeStride Stacy Pump (L-all)

Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

219 Comments

  1. Has anyone been to a vineyard in/around Newport they’d recommend (or anything else in the area)? Traveling from outside of Boston and looking for a nice fall afternoon activity this weekend that involves more than just window shopping or aimlessly wandering. Touring mansions and doing the Ocean Walk are already covered. TIA!

    1. If you have a car you could drive to Little Compton (about 45 minutes?) and go to Sakonnet Vineyard. It is a pretty drive and a wonderful winery.

      1. This. Little Compton is gorgeous, and I personally prefer that whole area to Newport. Search the web for articles on the “Farm Coast.”

    2. Greenvale is nice. At least in the summer they tend to have live jazz on the weekends.

  2. Kat, the price is unbeleiveable! $42? Are You sure it is leather, and not Pleather? I love these shoes, but will NOT wear Pleather. Please verify and get back to the HIVE and we will sell out the store! YAY!!!

    If it is Pleather, FOOEY!

  3. How much do you consider a potential partner’s height? I’ve noticed that online dating has made it a bigger factor than it used to be to me. I’m short so everyone seems tall in person, but now seeing the numbers on their profiles I find myself more interested in the taller guys even though I know that is silly!

    1. I never really did. I almost dated a little person when I was younger (we didn’t wind up dating for other reasons) and my husband is almost a foot taller than me. It does come in handy when my husband can reach things on the high shelf for me though!

    2. I’m 5’10” and my husband is 5’8″, so obviously height has never been a big deal to me. Filtering for guys that are taller than me would have knocked out at least half the dating pool, which seemed silly. Most guys I dated were 5’7″ to 5’11” or so. Really tall guys (6′ and up) seem to like really short women but average-height guys have no problem dating a woman as tall or taller, in my anecdotal experience.

      1. Almost 5’3″ here and I can absolutely attest that very tall men love short girls. I have NO idea why because seemingly almost every woman is shorter to them. I dated a few 6’5″ men and it honestly bothered my neck :) Fiance is 5’11” and it works out perfectly for us. Anecdotally, I also often see very tall men with short women. I don’t get it!

        1. +1 – I’m 5’2 and most of my boyfriends have been over 6 feet. I love tall guys…

        2. It is weird but so true! I’m 5’2″ and most of the men I’ve dated are over 6′ – one was 6’7″ and my neck hurt. Now I’m dating someone who is about 5’10” and I love it. I can reach up and kiss him if I want, instead of passively waiting for him to lean down/in.

          Height does seem to be a huge issue online, based on how often it is mentioned in Tinder profiles I’ve read. But I would try and ignore it and meet in person. For me, I want to feel dainty and feminine next to my man, but that can come from a strong personality, not just broad shoulders.

      2. Weirdly, my first instinct when seeing a very short woman with a very tall man is that he kidnapped her….

    3. I don’t know that I ever made that choice, as much as I was always attracted to tall, very broad-shoulder men (basically athletes). I felt a little shallow when other cute guys not fitting that description wanted to pursue me, but I honestly never felt as attracted as I do to them as I do to my SO. He is also kind and brilliant, but also handsome AND tall. I basically wanted a dude that was bigger than me and it’s totally silly, but it’s just what I’m attracted to.

      I wouldn’t feel too bad about it.

      1. I’m in the same boat. I am short but curvy, and while I have tried to date confident short-ish men (a lot! in earnest!), I am just not attracted to them. I have just accepted that I am attracted to taller, broader men and have stopped trying to fight it. I don’t rule out shorter men who ask me out, but I don’t seek them out, either.

        I have accepted that this is just innate, like the way some men are attracted to my body and some are not. Can’t force it.

    4. Not at all. I’ve dated men a little shorter than me, but my husband is over a foot taller than I am. When we started dating he worried how I was going to reach him to kiss him, but I figured it out.

    5. Meh, I’m 5’7″ and wear tall heels making me 5’10” or taller on a regular basis. I thought I didn’t care about height, but it turns out that a good number of the 5’10” and under men would look at my shoes and ask in a very concerned voice, “Do you always wear heels?” Any future ended when I said, “yes, nearly always”

      My 6’3″ BF doesn’t ask. So it turns out while I may not have cared, they did.

    6. I’m not the thinnest of girls, and I don’t like feeling big next to my parter. At 5 feet 5 inches I look for 5 7 and taller, but I don’t care how much taller.

      1. I’m right there with you! Struggling with weight and feeling “bigger” in high school made me always want a guy who was bigger than me. I ended up with a husband who is taller than me, but a leaner build, and our weights are way too close for my comfort.

        1. I totallly get this feeling. Height didn’t really matter to me, but I was self-conscious about my weight. I wound up with a very tall and skinny husband, who luckily makes me feel attractive, but I still feel big compared to him sometimes.

      2. Me too. My ideal guy makes me feel small enough that he protects me. Not that I want to feel fragile, just… That someone else will look after me.

    7. Not much at all. My first husband was 6’2″, which honestly was a bit taller than I found completely comfortable (I’m 5’2″). Second husband was 5’7″ and kind of sensitive about it, although it was fine for me. New Lovely Husband is six feet even and that’s fine, too. His late wife was 5’10” so apparently height or lack thereof isn’t a big deal to him, either.

    8. I’m 5’1″ and have dated men of various heights (from 5’4″ to 6’2″) – but I definitely preferred men in the 5’5″-5’8″ range. It’s unlikely that I would have screened someone out for being too tall (ie, used an automatic filter), but near the end of my dating life I was paying attention.

    9. I’m 5’9. I dated one guy who was 5’7 and realized that I don’t like feeling “big” compared to my partner (relationship ended for unrelated reasons after a few months). I didn’t explore that to see if shorter and heavier would have been ok, I just stuck with taller men.

      My husband is 6′, and always has much better posture when I wear heels. I don’t think it actually bothers him if I look taller, but he does always comment.

      1. +1 – I don’t like feeling big. I also like wearing heels/wedges (I’m 5’10” without) and I hate stooping to hear people.

        I also think that most people don’t notice a couple inches in height, such that I’d be open to someone my height or taller, but not that much shorter. I once went on a date with a guy that was 5’6″ or 5’8″ and I had boots with a little bit of a heel. It was kind of awkward. So now I actually put my height on my description, so the guys can filter if they feel it’s important from their end.

        On the otherhand, I dated a guy who was 6’5″ and that was kind of weird, since I was used to being able to look most guys in the eyes. So 5’10” – 6’3″ is my comfort range, but by no means a deal breaker.

    10. I don’t like feeling big next to a partner, either, so when I did online dating I filtered for 2-3 inches taller than I am (5’6″). My current SO is only an inch taller than I am, though, and it didn’t even occur to me that it should be a factor when we started dating. And I have bigger hands than he does, and weigh about 20 lbs more, too, but he makes me feel so attractive and desired it doesn’t even matter. (Not that I’m not trying to lose those 20 lbs, mind you, but to fit into my old clothes, not to weigh less than he does.)

    11. I’m 5’3 and I’ve dated men who range from 5’2 to 6’4 and women from 5’2 to 5’7. Shorter is fine with me (but not that common). 6’4 was way too tall. People thought I was much younger than I was when we were out together and there were a lot of logistical problems. I feel kind of bad for my friends who want to date someone taller and they’re 5’10, because they’re restricting their dating pool so much. But those are their preferences so whatever. For me, it’s more about build. So far I haven’t really enjoyed dudes that were thinner than me.

    12. I say I don’t care, but I do care because men are sensitive about it and it is annoying. I am over 5’11”, look even taller due to body type, and wear heels all the time. DH is 6’7″ so it is a non-issue.

    13. Online dating makes it easy (too easy?) to filter for stuff like that. I’m 5’7, tried not to care about height, and then dated a couple of taller guys (over 6′), and found that I really do prefer it. But I’m still single, so maybe I’ll end up with someone about my height or shorter.

      Also, the tall guys were the only ones who had ever asked me how tall I was. Don’t know what that was about.

      1. Not that this is an explanation for the tall dudes who wanted to know your height, but there are some tall dudes out here who are obsessed with short chicks. It is super weird, in my experience.

        1. That is weird, in my opinion. I don’t know enough about these particular guys’ dating histories to know if that was the case for them. I also met a guy who was 6’4″ who told me his “floor” was about 5’7″. So it takes all kinds, I guess.

          1. Right. As a tall woman, I am usually approached by tall men on the dance floor. They someetimes make a comment about the smaller height difference being more comfortable while dancing.

    14. I tend to be more attracted to taller guys, but I went out with anyone as long as I was attracted to them. Don’t limit yourself

    15. I’m 5’8″ and very thin. I have dated men who were 5’7″ to 6’5″. All of my ex-boyfriends were not great for me, but height had nothing to do with it. I overheard a girl at a bar say that she is 5’7″ and will not date anyone shorter than 5’10”. I almost felt sorry for her because she is ruling out a lot of great guys.

      1. I’m 5’3″ and my boyfriend is 5’2″. At first I thought it was a bit weird as all my SOs had been at least 6 feet, but now I’m used it, it’s actually quite fun. And he’s not bothered at all when I wear heels

    16. My gorgeous, glamorous and tall former-model friend is married to a wonderful man very much shorter than she. When they were first dating she confided to an elegant senior lady in her building that the height difference was something she was worried about. Said lady instantly replied “Darling, we’re all the same height in bed!” Advice taken – they’ve been deliriously happily married for more than a decade.

    17. I’m 5’10” and while I am totally comfortable dating guys who are shorter… a lot of guys aren’t. So I do assume guys 5’7″ and under would need to be exceptionally comfortable in their masculinity to date me.

  4. Any advice on choosing whether to fund an FSA and how much to contribute? This year I’ll have spent approximately $1500 on copays, coinsurance, and prescriptions. It was probably a larger amount than normal because I had an injury that required several specialist visits.

    I know FSA money is pre-tax. Is there a calculator that will show me how much I’d save tax-wise? How about how much to contribute? I see a doctor once a month so that copay is predictable. Should I only put in that amount? I don’t want to put in too much and lose it at the end of the year if I don’t spend it all.

    1. Do you have an HSA as an option? That balance rolls over. We elected to fund that up to the amount of our deductible.

      When we had an FSA, we chose to contribute a much more conservative amount. We rarely go to doctors and don’t have recurring prescriptions, so it was more in the $500-750 range, accounting for things like contacts and glasses.

    2. Can you put money into an FSA after the expense is incurred?

      One year I funded my HSA in December based on the total costs I’d incurred that year.

    3. Some FSA plans allow you to incur expenses through March of the following year – if yours does, that gives you additional time to spend it.

      Personally, I usually fund $1500 (family of 3), and there’s usually $200-300 left for new glasses or extra contact lenses at the end of the year. This year I underestimated by about $500, so no new glasses this year.

      1. You can roll over $500 a year now with FSA, so I’d say put at least $500 in, you can’t loose!

      2. Are you sure it isn’t that you have until March to submit the expenses from the previous year? We have that too, but the expenses have to have been incurred prior to the new year, you just get awhile to catch up on the paper work.

    4. When I had an FSA, I estimated the co-pays for my regular doctors visits I knew I was going to have (so annual exam, dermatology visits, eye exam), plus cost of contacts and contact solution for the year and just put that because I was concerned about the use-it-or-lose it aspect of the FSA and didn’t want to overbudget by too much. (I now have an HSA. Much better).

      1. Oh, and the cost of regularly recurring prescriptions (so that ridiculously expensive topical cream for acne I knew I was going to have, for example)

      2. This is what I do. But if I overestimate, it’s not so bad ever since they came out with a new rule that you can roll over $500 of FSA money over to the following year. You have until March of the following year to submit expenses (at least on my company’s plan).

    5. Estimating the FSA amount is so much easier when you wear glasses or contacts, because you can pretty much always spend whatever is leftover toward the end of the year on a new pair of glasses or stocking up on contacts/contact solution! If it were me I would look at the amount of money you spent this past year, subtract the portion related to your injury (assuming treatment for that is complete) and consider whether there are likely to be additional costs for anything next year. In an ideal world I schedule a dentist appointment right before open enrollment so I can budget for any dental work accurately.

    6. I think about my prescriptions, dental work, regular visits, out of network therapy, etc. Glasses and contacts as well.

    7. If it’s been a while since you’ve been to the dentist, you could visit now for a cleaning and checkup. Then if there’s any major work that needs to be done soon but isn’t an emergency, you can put money in the FSA to fund that work and go back to the dentist in January.

    8. Also look into just what you can spend FSA money on. At my company, more than what I thought is eligible in terms of using FSA money. You may find a hidden perk in there that you’re already paying for, but now to allocate to pre-tax FSA funds.

    9. $1200, plus we have an HRA with $1460 per year funded. I’ve spent nearly 400 dollars since mid-September. Chronic illness is a b*tch.

      1. What is the basic difference between an HSA and an FSA? Is it the amount you can contribute to each?

  5. Any gift ideas for a 6 year old girl? I don’t want to do books and for various reasons I can’t do a gift with a lot of little pieces (like Legos). Any other ideas?

    1. how about some paper dolls? The Barbie ones are a big hit. Also, fashion plates is lots of fun for girls that age along with nail art/nail polish.

      1. We gave my niece an analog watch for Xmas last year – she was nearly six – because she was learning to tell time. It’s a Flik Flak, which I think is Swatch for little kids, and has rainbows and unicorns and sparkles. She was obsessed! I got texts from my sister every time my niece told someone what time it was, which was about every 3 minutes. :-)

        1. I LOVED my flik flak (childrens line of Swatch) watch when I was the 7-12 (don’t remember when exactly)

          1. Cosigned. I had one with dolphins on it. To this day one of my favourite pieces of clothing/accessories I have ever owned.

    2. My almost six year old loves art kits including the paint with water or color wonder (so its not as messy), this is probably kid-specific but my daughter really loves playing with baby dolls, and she is still into Elsa and Anna from Frozen. She also likes purses, jewelry, and sports gear. Her favorite present recently was a castle/tent thing that folds up when not in use.

    3. The sticker “paper doll” books are fun for that age. The pieces are small, but not a concern in the way that little legos etc are (for baby siblings, etc). The Melissa & Doug mess-free glitter sets are fun, too.

      The play doh My Little Pony set is really fun and age appropriate. There aren’t any small pieces, although she’d be on the cusp of needing adult help to form the initial mold. Play doh is a nice toy to have around little siblings, too. (FYI, all sets are not equal. Some of them are really lame).

    4. Spirograph is my go to for that age group, boys or girls. Maybe with some cool gel pens.

    5. Late to post but check out the mighty girl dot com. They have incredible gift selections sortable by age that are great for boys and girls. I’ve recommended several times on this site, and it’s my regular go to

  6. Kat – I love this community that you have created and am grateful for it. Truly.

    I sometimes think people are a bit harsh about your taste in fashion….but these shoes are plastic *and* hideously frumpy. No, no, no, no. Just no.

    1. Kat, I like these shoes. Always on the look out for a decent pair of black pumps that have a bit of a heel and look like a good classic shoe. Thank you!

      1. +1 I don’t think these shoes are super amazing, but they are far less offensive/inappropriate than many items posted here. They’re just kind of plain, but we all need staples.

    2. I don’t love their either, but it just occurred to me that this blog would be pretty boring if all that was featured was standard pencil skirts, standard type pumps, standard booties or boots, standard blazers and standard blouses. I guess it goes without saying that when she features something slightly unique, some people will love it and some people will hate it-evidence above!

    3. …yes.

      Some of Kat’s picks are things that I wouldn’t wear, but give me ideas of similar items that are more appropriate for my body/income/office. It’s usually valuable, even if it’s a “pass!”

      But I struggle to see the redeeming value of these (even at $42).

    4. Hilariously, I find these 1,000 times more attractive than the grandma block heels from the other week. To each their own! :)

    5. I think these would be super versatile and love that they appear to be vegan. I’ve got both the grey and the wine in my cart right now.

  7. What do you use to organize your recipes? I’m particularly looking for online website suggestions so I can access at both work and home.

    1. I used to use Evernote, but I find Pinterest to be easier now. I have boards set up for different types of food and make sure to be clear on the recipe title in my pin’s description.

      1. My problem with Pinterest is that if the link goes dead you’re recipe is gone. Evernote saves the page for all time, at least the way I’m using it.

        1. Oh that’s very true. When I make something I typically print the recipe out so I don’t get gunk on my iPad. That printout goes into my physical recipe binder at home. So I have a sort of backup in case that happens.

      2. I have been trying to find a good system for organizing and labeling my recipe boards, so I absentmindedly tried to search for “Sydney Bristow” on Pinterest. It was about as helpful as you would expect.

        1. Well, I’m not Sydney Bristow on Pinterest. That’s just my alias here ;-)

          I set up my boards like a recipe book might. So I have a Cookies board, Cake board, Pie, etc. I bake so my categories skew that way. But you could have a Soup board or even a Cold Soup and Hot Soup boards.

          In addition to making sure the recipe title is in your description of a pin, you could also list the main ingredients. That way you could search based on main ingredient if you didn’t have a specific recipe you were looking for.

      1. A friend who works for a for a restaurant industry publication also recommended this app.

      2. I also use Paprika for most recipes, and a straight up paper binder with sheet protectors for my very favorite things that I’d be upset if were lost or that my kids or husband might want to use.

        I like that it easily scales recipes, and has a feature for making shopping lists. I generally only use that for planning big events like holiday brunch where I’m buying a bunch of special stuff for specific recipes, but it’s handy when I do use it.

    2. Pepperplate. It has an online version and an app version. You can import from many, many, sites. Easy to set categories, tags, and will generate a shopping list. I have a few older recipes I ended up typing in by hand, but it really wasn’t a lot of work. I like that I can check a recipe on my phone while in the grocery store (I have a category called “speed line”).

    3. To piggyback on this, does anyone have suggestions for apps that will also pull from cookbooks? I did a trial of Eat Your Books a few years ago, and it wasn’t quite for me.

    4. I use Plan to Eat. It is seriously amazing–stores recipes (and easily imports recipes from a website), has a super easy to use weekly planner, and generates shopping lists from the planner. It is web-based so I can use it on my computer and in my phone browser.

  8. My future in-laws have decided to skip traditional gifts this Christmas and instead take my fiance and I on a trip with them sometime in December or January. I don’t know their budget, but its definitely nothing crazy high or low. They are leaving the choice completely up to us. So travel savvy ‘r e t t e s where should we go?

    Notes:
    We are in the Mid-Atlantic
    I’d prefer to not freeze (I HATE the cold)
    No Vegas (I also hate Vegas)
    Future father in law is very outdoorsy & active, Future mother in law is the exact opposite
    Fiance & I enjoy great food and a healthy mix of complete relaxation & exploration

    TIA!

    1. How about Sedona? You can do hikes, or spas, or just relax and enjoy the scenery!

      1. Agree with Sedona! Amazing. Red rock tours, hiking, spa activities. So beautiful and relaxing, would seem to be a great mid-price option.

    2. Asheville. The Biltmore decorated for Christmas is stunning, the weather is better than NYC. Lots of great outdoorsy options and great food.

      1. +1 to Biltmore! I don’t know if it’s still offered, but they used to do this lovely Christmas dinner as well.

      1. I wouldn’t do a cruise unless you know everyone going likes cruises. It’s a love/hate thing like Vegas. (I also wouldn’t recommend them for people who care about food because the food is blaaaaaaand on those things.) If you’re up for a long plane flight what about Hawaii? Beautiful beaches, but also good food and lots of active stuff to do. Christmas/New Years will be very pricey there, but if you can do your trip in mid-late January you should be able to get some great deals, as the low season begins there right after holiday crowds go home.

        1. We love cruises and have been on probably 10+ but would like to do something different this time around.

          Hawaii is definitely out of the price range. Flights alone are close to $1400/PP. Plus we did a week in Waikiki and then a week long cruise (lol) about three years ago.

      2. We ALWAYS do Caribbean cruises since they seem to be just about the only thing that intersects all of our varying interests, but obviously since that’s our go to its a great idea :)

    3. Mayan Riviera area in Mexico. You can get a reasonably high end resort at a decent rate for FMIL. Lots of snorkeling/scuba diving/excursions for FFIL.

      1. Santa Fe is the mountains, and can be really cold in Dec-Jan. New Orleans is a better bet.

      2. Yes, Santa Fe is gorgeous and has some nice winter days, but also has days that are freezing cold and snowy and the ice just piles up on the sidewalks.

    4. New Orleans. It’s warm enough in December and January, and rarely freezing. There’s lots of good food and plenty to explore, as well as spas and parks and bars to relax in. To humor your FIL, you could go on a swamp tour or, if he prefers to be more active, there’s some hiking, as well as boating/fishing, hunting, and golf.

    5. I think you have to go to Key West. NOLA can be cold and damp in the winter. Ditto Asheville (and I am close by). Less so than you’re used to, but you can easily mispack and/or have too-high expectations.

      1. So Key West is definitely on our short list. BUT, fiance and I were there for a day in March and didn’t really know what to do besides bar hop. FMIL doesn’t drink and doesn’t like when others drink so what other activities could we do for 4 – 7 days??

        1. I think Key West would be tough for 4-7 days if you don’t drink, but you could kill a few days there and maybe a few days in another part of the Keys or Miami (it’s a good 4 hour drive between Miami and Key West). I think you can cover the major tourist sites in Key West in a day (Hemingway House, butterfly conservatory, mel fisher museum, wandering around, the old cemetery is kind of interesting, mallory square), take a day trip to Dry Tortugas, maybe spend a day at a beach (maybe drive up to Bahia Honda-beaches in the keys aren’t really that great) or snorkeling, then head to Miami for a day or two. In Miami, I thought Vizcaya was an interesting thing to see.

      1. Currently planning a vacation in Argentina for December/January. I would consider it very expensive.

    6. I might be too late for this, but… what about Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, or Colombia? I’ve seen flights to all three places for under $500/person. All of these places have cultural, relaxing, and outdoorsy stuff to do. (Full disclosure: Never been, but they’re all on my list, and if I could take a week or so in the middle of East Coast winter that’s where I’d go in a heartbeat!).

  9. Looking for a new volumizer for very fine, thin hair. I use the Aveda phomollient right now, but it’s a little expensive for my tastes, and I’m not convinced that it’s the best option out there. I have super straight, smooth, fine hair, and not much of it–and hardly any of it. The Aveda stuff at least doesn’t weigh my hair down/make it look greasy or dull. Anyone else with similar hair want to weigh in?

    1. I just use mousse from the drugstore. IMO, product on really wet hair and a good blow-dry > any particular expensive product. I do love Elnett hairspray though.

    2. I have the same hair and used Aveda for a while. I bounce around a lot, so I don’t have a good option for you. Right now I’m using Pantene Pro Volume shampoo/conditioner and Argon Oil of Morocco Volumizer. It’s about equivalent to the full Aveda routine.

      I wonder if I just have too high of expectations for my hair. I can’t seem to find anything that will not weigh it down (or get that dull look) after a few hours.

      I have a round face, so embracing the limp/thin hair look isn’t an option – it’s really unflattering. But I guess that’s the lot I was born with.

    3. I’ve tried basically all of the Aveda volumizers. As well as many, many others. This doesn’t help the price thing, but my favorite is the Aveda Volumizing Tonic, preferably used in combination with the Pure Abundance Style prep and the dry shampoo.

      Also not cheep, but I’ve found their Invati system really works.

    4. This won’t respond to your cost concern, but I, too, have straight, fine, smooth, thin hair. I’ve recently started using the Living Proof volume shampoo, conditioner, hairspray and thickening cream and I’ve never gotten more compliments on my hair in my life! I received the set as a present from my mom and was sort of hoping to not like it given the price, but I’m going to purchase it on my own when I run out because it really is that good. It smells really good, too. I’m going to try their new product, too, since people seem to rave about it on their site.

    5. John Freida root booster spray. Sorry, not sure of the exact name. Great drugstore product. I lift my hair up and spray at the roots. Then I blow dry my hair upside-down. After you’re done styling, try a powder texturizer like Redken Power Grip or Osis Dust It. I lift up the top layer of hair and sprinkle a little. Then rub it in.

    6. I recently just starting using bumble and bumble thickening hair spray for this and LOVE IT. You apply when damp. My hair dresser warned me not to use it every day because it’s drying. I also have very oily hair and when I start with this + some dry shampoo I made it a full three days (braided my hair on the third day, but it wasn’t too gross to wear to work for me)

    7. I feel your pain. I just went on a long trial of a zillion products and eventually came back to my old standby: Pantene Sheer Volume Shampoo, a tiny bit of conditioner applied just to the ends of my hair, and John Freida root booster spray. Regular drugstore mousse is great for volume but makes my hair look rough and dry.

      You also might want to try the Kenra volumizing products – I liked those as well.

    8. I have fine hair but a lot of it, and not 100% straight (waving/frizzing in humid weather, stick straight in dry weather) so not exactly the same, but I like John Frieda volumizing mousse.

      1. Fructis Dry Shampoo. Gives me better volume than anything else and works wonders on keeping my oily scalp from greasing up the rest of my hair. I put it on every night before bed and then thoroughly massage my scalp and hair in the morning to blend the last of it in.

        1. +1 for Garnier Fructis dry shampoo. I prefer it over other drug store and pricier brands for my fine, slightly oily hair.

  10. Searching for inexpensive (-$100) snow boots also suitable for hiking. I will need a good tread on the bottom (see hiking). Does anyone have any good recommendation (brands, styles etc.) I am short w/muscular calves so higher styles (unless laced) do not work for me.

    Thanks in advance :-)

    (I have nice trail runners but unfortunately not snow worthy.)

    1. Merrells? I have hiking boots, winter boots, leather boots me and trail runners and have been impressed with all of them.

      1. Seconding Merrells, but not at that price point. You would look for a good sale, though, maybe a prior year’s model. Check REI’s “Garage” online, campor [dot] com, backcountry [dot] com. For hiking I prefer shorter boots (over the ankles) that lace up, and then you’ll want insulated & waterproof for snow.

        If you are a Costco person, check there as well. They seem to have a pair or two of snowboots during the season for them, and you could get lucky.

      2. +1 I don’t have a specific snow boot recommendation, but I have always been super pleased with my Merrells. Worth taking a tour around their website IMO!

        1. I’m also really happy with my merrell hiking boots. They are waterproof and comfortable, so I use them for much more than just hiking. I had a much more expensive pair but these were more comfortable.

          I’ve taken the kids sledding in them, but that’s in for snow experience.

      3. I like my Merrell snow boots and they are light enough to do a shortish hike in. I also have a pair of Ahnu boots that I like. They are extremely light.

      4. My new pair of Merrel boots arrived today from Sierra Trading Post. Caught them on one of their constant sales for about $75. Win!

    2. Like the other comments – if you are specifically wanting to go hiking in these boots – look for hiking boots that are waterproof, rather than snowboots.

      I got some hiking shoes that I sub in for boots during foul weather, so I think you’ll be fine. If you are worried about deep snow, get some gaiters to put over the hiking boots.

    3. You want waterproof/Goretex insulated hiking boots. Under $100 means that you need to shop the clearance rack – LL Bean, REI, EMS, Moosejaw, Amazon, etc. LL Bean store brand may be around $100 if they have coupons going on. Wear with Darn Tough wool socks. I have done some snow hiking in my keen durands, but would not want to wade through deep snow in them.

  11. Can someone reassure me that they or someone they know managed to transition from a law firm to an in-house role in NYC without having gone to the “right” law school or worked at the “right” handful of firms? Feeling very discouraged by my job hunt at the moment.

    1. I am in house in NYC after 5 years in another major legal market and it was much more important to find the “right” recruiter when I was looking to move. All of my legal interviews came through recruiters, despite applying to plenty of postings on my own.

      1. How did you find a recruiter that was not focused on placing you at another biglaw firm?

      2. That’s good to know! Seconding the question – how did you find this recruiter?

    2. I’m in LA, but maybe it is similar? I went to a top 100, but not top 50 or 15 or whatever law school. I worked at midsized, well respected firms but nothing fancy. I was in private practice for 7 years before I was picked up as in-house counsel by a company in the same industry. It took – maybe 2 years? – to find the position, but it happened!

  12. I’m going on my first business trip (only 1 day) and would like some advice on what to wear. We’re meeting with clients so it’ll be business formal. I usually wear sheath dresses + cardigan to work (business casual). I want to wear a black sheath and black blazer but since it’s cold, I would also be wearing black tights. Gut feeling tells me this is too much black but what are the options aside from pants suit + button down (which I hate). The plane ride is only an hr each way so I’m planning to just carry my regular work bag + laptop. Am I missing anything?

      1. +1 to knit top, or silk top, or any top that is not a button down. I gave up button downs a few years ago and find myself happy in almost any alternative. Or, do you have a sheath dress or blazer that is not black? Perhaps a gray sheath dress or tan jacket; something to break up the solid black.

    1. Could you do a conservative pattern on the tights to break things up a little? This might be regional, but I would be fine with this (patterned tights or plain) in the mid-Atlantic. Might look out of place in other areas. Nude hose? Find other shirts that you can wear with your pants suit (I also hate button downs, usually do a nice t-shirt)?

      1. Thank you all for the replies so far! I’ll be flying from NYC to DC if that matters at all. Would it be okay to just wear black ballet flats all day? Since it’s just a day trip, I don’t want to bring heels just to wear for 2 hours. I normally wear flats at work too since heels hurt my feet.

        1. Yes, please wear flats. I love my heels but I always wear flats when I travel — you’ll die walking around DC in heels all day.

    2. Take anything you would need with you if you were to be stuck overnight. You never know what will happen when you fly. If you wear contacts, pack some solution or your glasses. Pack an extra pair of underwear and any medications you would need.

      You could also wear a pants suit with a shell instead of a button up.

        1. My rule is to pack anything essential that I couldn’t buy. In my case that’s the medication I take every morning. I can buy underwear.

    3. What about a different color blazer or dress to break up the all black? A grey dress is a safe bet with that combo.

    4. The black outfit sounds fine to me. Add a silk scarf if you feel that it’s too much black.

      1. this is why the hermes scarves exist :)

        Also, there is a partner on my floor who wears all black all the time (dress/blazer/tights and pulls it off fabulously!

    5. What about a tweed blazer? That’s what I typically do in the winter for business travel.

    6. I’d say the black sheath and black blazer would be fine, but I’d do nude hose or something lighter on your legs. Maybe add a scarf to break it up

  13. And now for our almost daily Zika question. DH and I plan to start TTC in December. We recently learned a very dear friend is getting married in the Bahamas in March. Is there any way I can go to the wedding? I fear I already know the answer but wanted some hive input/thoughts.

    If I got pregnant before the wedding, I think we absolutely could not go. And if we were still TTC, we could stop, but my research indicates we would have to wait another 8 months after we return to resume trying. That’s a long delay, to me. Any thoughts or advice?

    1. Men are supposed to wait six months to TTC after traveling to an area with active local Zika transmission (women are supposed to wait two months, but they are subsumed in the man’s six months, not added on for a total of eight). I’ve heard people say there are tests you can get after you get back to make sure you’re Zika-free but my doctor said they’re almost impossible to get unless you have symptoms. I would not go unless you’re ok delaying TTC until early next fall. I’m sure you won’t be the only guests staying home because of this issue.

      1. +1. Dr. opinion that you cannot get a test post travel unless you are showing symptoms.

    2. Listen to the CDC. The frequent questions are because people are understandably frustrated with the long wait to TTC and are hoping that there’s some reason that waiting won’t apply to them. But listen to the CDC, infectious disease study is their thing and they will be the best source of advice.

    3. It sounds like you know the answer. I’d weigh the importance of this wedding against the importance of conceiving next year (age, known or suspected fertility issues, spacing of children, job benefits/planned transitions, etc.) and make your decision. There’s no wrong decision, and your friend will understand.

      1. I think that people have got to be factoring this in. Maybe deliberately so (I know people who had on-site receptions at Baptist Churches to save on liquor (knowing everyone would just bring a flask and/or pregame))?

        But unless the couple is >40 and/or never wants kids, I think this has to have come up.

    4. Not unless you want to put TTC on hold for 6 months when you return. I wouldn’t do it.

    5. If you are pregnant, definitely don’t go.

      If you’re still TTC, you could go but your husband could stay home. If you get zika, females only need to wait 2 months to start trying again, but males need to wait 6 months. If neither of you gets any symptoms, you only need to wait 8 weeks, not 8 months.

    6. You’re not just delaying after you return, you’d have to delay for some time before you leave too, right? You’re going to RSVP and start booking tickets about 2 months before the wedding. I guess you could cancel thereafter, but (a) kinda rude to the couple to cancel for something you know you’re trying for; (b) cancellation costs; and (c) you still have to stop TTC at some point before and during the trip to be sure you’re not PG on the trip.

      I would send my regrets guilt-free. Look, there are consequences of choosing to have a destination wedding, period, like the fact that folks on a budget won’t be able to come. When you choose to have your wedding in a location that TTC people cannot safely travel to, you are choosing to exclude those people. The couple will understand.

    7. Missing their wedding doesn’t have to mean you can’t celebrate their marriage with them. Could you schedule a trip to visit them in their home city a few weeks after they get married? You could take them out to dinner, look at all the pics and do a champagne toast!

    8. By way of anecdata, I went to a wedding in Mexico in March. I tried not to get any mosquito bites (and didn’t notice any on myself during my time there) and didn’t get any Zika symptoms, but my physician wasn’t able to offer me a test for Zika although I asked for one and still recommended I wait 2 months before TTC . My husband didn’t go to the wedding, so that wasn’t a complicating factor.

      If you RSVP “yes”, you’d need to stop TTC in February in order to be sure you’re not pregnant while in the Bahamas in March, and not resume TTC until September. That really only gives you December and January to TTC (and it’s possible but unlikely that you’ll get pregnant in your first month or two TTC, especially if you’re coming off hormonal BC) making it likely that you’ll practically be delaying your family plans by almost a year. I don’t think any friend of yours would want or expect you to do that.

      I’d RSVP “No”, and go to whatever local celebration they’re likely to have for friends and family who can’t travel to the Bahamas.

  14. Anyone putting $ into the market this week, besides your regular 401k contributions? I had planned to throw some $ into the S&P to take advantage of the 1.5-2% decline thus far on election jitters. But now I’m not so sure bc a HRC victory guaranteed a pop but a Trump victory will lead to a decent slide. What’s everyone else doing?

    1. I’m not planning to change anything. I’m of the you can’t time the market school of thought. That said, I comfort myself by seeing things as on sale when the market does poorly and focus on returns when the market does well.

      1. I don’t mean changing allocations — I mean throwing more in bc while the S&P has been overvalued for a while it is finally slightly “on sale” being down close to 1.5% in the last 5 days and about 2.3% in the last month.

        1. I knew what you meant. My plan is to stick with what I do and contribute every 2 weeks.

    2. I’ve been wondering if I should do this. I remember my dad saying “You can’t time the market” but it seems like a good bet?

      1. How is investing the same as gambling? You think if you guess wrong, trump wins and the market slides it’ll NEVER recover?

        You can’t time the market in the long term but you can definitely invest in anticipation of or in response to events. Brexit was one some opportunity – a nice 4-5% slide over 2 days was a good time to throw in an extra few thousand and there the recovery literally started on day 3 after the vote.

        1. Investing like this- not on a plan, hoping for a quick increase based on your read of the market, is a gamble. If you can afford to be wrong, enjoy! But if you aren’t already saving for retirement adequately and have a solid emergency fund, it’s not a wise move.

          1. Ok apparently I’m not saying it well or you don’t want to get it. I don’t mean put $ in hoping for recovery in 3 days for a quick profit. I mean – -if you have a few thousand in reserve that you’ve been meaning to put in (on top of your regular 401k investing and on top of your regular periodic non-retirement investing), how do people feel about throwing that in in anticipation of news?

          2. No – we get it. That’s still called timing the market. You can time it as to when to get it and when to get out. It’s also still called gambling. All investing is gambling, because you have no guarantee of return. It’s just we’ve figured most of the “safe” investments have pretty good odds.

            If you want to do it, go for it. I don’t think it’s useful to try to time the market (buy in) for that small of a window, so I’m not going to stress about how to do it. But if you want to give it a try, go for it. You don’t need our approval.

    3. I am not, but mostly because I don’t have time and don’t feel like it. During the 2008 crash, I threw every cent I could find into the market and that worked out for me. So, if you can afford to leave the money in the market for a while, and you won’t panic if it bounces around in the short term, go ahead.

    4. I’m waiting until after the election and the market recovers from however it responds to the result before I put any more money in the market. I am thinking of putting a stop loss on my MSFT to lock in its recent gains just in case the unthinkable happens. Not liking today’s poll numbers at all.

    5. I may buy pre election but probably not until Monday or during the day Tues; and/or looking at futures on Tues night to see how Wed is expected to go. Will take the next few days to do some research and see how much lower the market goes and where the polling goes.

      Overall buying when the market is down or jittery isn’t as weird as the posters here are making it sound. I do it all the time. It’s not instead of other investment plans, it’s in addition to. I max out a 401k and put a set amount in the market per quarter. Then if an opportunity or 2 arise during the year where the market is reacting to news or uncertainty — that’s a time to put in some extra money. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have risk tolerance or if I wanted the funds out in anything under 2-3 yrs. Brexit was a very nice opportunity this yr — ~4% slide in 2 days?! How often does that come along?

  15. I entered a marriage with about $500K in home equity in a rental house that’s just in my name (not where we live or would likely ever live). Now that we are getting around to doing wills, I find myself feeling like a 1950s husband who is OK giving my spouse the benefit of that during his lifetime, but really would not want to see that asset to to my inlaws (or worse: my husband’s next spouse) instead of my family if I were to die first (esp. if we have children — I would feel strongly that they should get things that were mine). I know that this is something trusts can do, but I wonder how many other women feel this way?

    FWIW, I would be OK agreeing to similar terms (H has nothing, really, but will likely get a paid-off house in a HCOL to share among his siblings at some point).

    Also, I know a ton of men who have promptly remarried after the death of a spouse but the only women I knew who remarried after being widowed were in their 30s.

    1. Why not talk to your husband? Leave it to him for now, but if you have any children they jump and take it first.

    2. This can obviously be accomplished — talk to your atty. Why can’t the will be drafted such that your house passes to your kids equally; you just have to decide- where does it go if you don’t have kids? Does it go to someone else on your side of the family like a sibling or niece/nephew?

      Is your question about whether this is ok? Why wouldn’t it be? I don’t think it’s uncommon for people to get territorial about THEIR family when money/property is involved — i.e. their family is their spouse and kids (if any) or siblings/nieces/nephews if their isn’t. Their family is NOT anyone else on the spouse’s side. Don’t see anything wrong with this as it is YOUR house, not his.

    3. I think it’s not unreasonable to give a spouse an income interest in an asset (yay — rental property) and not the rest of the interest (the bundle of sticks from property law class). After their death, they don’t need it and their creditors can’t take it from the remainder holders. Spouses must want kids to get assets over the chance that a subsequent spouse could get it in a subsequent divorce. No?

      Or do spouses just expect to get 100% of the stuff?

      FWIW, my state gives children an intestate share and has a mandatory inclusion of a spouse (30%? but I’m not sure how they value life estates as part of that 30%).

    4. Assuming you guys have no plans to live there, I don’t think it’s weird to want to give pre-marital property to someone other than your husband (especially so if you have kids – in some states, I believe pre-marital property would pass automatically to your kids). Kicking someone out of his house just because you owned it before marriage is harsh though.

      1. I think with a rental owned by a person, when your landlord dies, you are in a spot where 1 heir may want to sell or keep renting to you, but multiple heirs probably are a hot mess of a landlord situation for you (so my guess is that they definitely sell the house/condo/whatever just to not fight over it). Maybe there is an upside to cold, sterile corprate landlords.

    5. I would feel this way too.

      FWIW, I know my mom and her second husband have some protections in place to ensure that me and my brother inherit my mother’s house, jewelry, etc. even if she dies before he does (he has a lifetime estate until he dies). His nieces/nephews will ultimately get his money, car, etc. even if he dies before my mom.

      I think this is more common in situations where people who have kids from previous marriages re-marry and want to keep assets on “their side”. It also happens a lot when one spouse has an interest in a family-run business or, really, any business. How this is done varies by state but is not at all unusual.

    6. I have a pre-nup for this reason. I put the property in trust so that my husband gets lifetime interest, but it goes to my children at his death. I sold it to DH by saying that if I died I would want him to remarry, but that I’d want the property to go to my kids. I strongly recommend talking to an attorney, especially because the law varies state-by-state. Talk to a few attorneys until you find one who is a good fit.

      1. This is the way to go.

        It is really good for you to be thinking things through.

        My parents started their estate planning later in life. We were a family that never talked about money. Anyway, parents started process to create similar trust for all assets (both parents worked entire life, and Mom had saved about 50% more than Dad). But never finished….

        Mom suddenly hit with advanced, rare cancer….. And she passed quickly without a will/trust in place. Dad quickly pairs up with much younger woman from his past. And that’s it. She is beneficiary for all.

        It’s my father’s choice, of course, but it’s not what my mother would have wanted.

    7. It really depends on your relationship and your financial situation. In theory, I agree with you. That said, my fiance and I both own our homes. He moved into my house and rented out his; mine is worth more and has MUCH more equity than his, if it matters. If I died, I wouldn’t want him to have to move out of our house. It’s his home now too, in practice if not in name, so I feel like it should go to him. If he ends up moving another woman into my house after I’m dead, well, I’m dead so what do I care.

      It would feel pretty uneven to me if he didn’t also leave me his house. I know we don’t live there so it’s different, but I’ve also put sweat equity into the renovations and the rental income is wrapped up in our finances. It wouldn’t be a dealbreaker or anything, but it would take a lot of conversations to get me to a place that I felt OK with treating his house differently than my house.

    8. I did a Separate Property Trust for my house, with my son as the beneficiary. Lovely Husband was fine with it.

      It gets more complicated, as others have said, when you’re talking about the house you’re living in. Life estates are a way to deal with it but I’ve seen those kinds of arrangements be pretty contentious when the second spouses and the children don’t get along.

  16. I have, over time, developed a severe aversion to taking pills. I have an insulin disorder that requires me to take 5 pills of various sizes a day plus a daily injection. I am having trouble being compliant with the pills because even the thought of taking the medication makes me feel nauseous. It’s not the side effects of the medication nor general rebellion with the routine because I easily do my shot despite disliking that as well.

    Anyone ever felt this way? Any tips?

    1. Therapy. It can really help with phobias and aversions. And until then make it not an option. You must take them. Accept that you hate it, and that it will be unpleasant, and force yourself to do it anyway.

    2. Does your aversion apply to other formulations? If not, maybe your doctor could prescribe a liquid version? Also, my mother has a hard time swallowing pills due to some post-polio paralysis in her throat, and her doctor will prescribe smaller pills, even if she needs to take a double dose, to make it easier to get down. Maybe that would help?

      Or you could put them in cheese, like I did for my dog… :-)

    3. Could a compounding pharmacy put them into a different form for you>

      1. Or chocolate milk. I find it covers up the unpleasant taste of pills, and it’s delicious so feels kind of like a treat.

  17. Yes, you need a trust to accomplish this. And I felt this way, too! We are getting married. Future husband has sizeable assets, but due to two unexpected deaths of family members in my childhood, I have more assets. We have talked about this and you should, too. I think it is better to talk about it together first before you talk about it with an attorney. But we are open and upfront about everything, including money. (And when I told him, “I am fine with you having this and for our children, but I don’t want it going to some hotsy-totsy younger wife over my family or our kids” he laughed and agreed because he already knew my response.)

  18. Any of you ladies part of the Jr. League? I’m in the South, so not sure if NYC experiences will be same. I’m a first-generation student, a minority, and don’t really have any kind of cachet to bring to the table other than my degrees and my job.

    I know a few associates at my firm who are involved, but I just want to anonymously ask the Internet if it’s worth it and if it helps professionally?

    1. There have been lots of previous discussions on various JLs here in the past and people have discussed experience with various chapters so you might want to start with some of those. I think chapters in and around major cities have a different feel than some in smaller locales. Or, share which chapter you are considering and people may be able to advise more specifically.

    2. Are you in ATL? I’m a League member in Atlanta and find it a mix of worthwhile and ridiculous – but on balance, I’ve gotten enough value out of it to maintain my membership. I don’t think it has strong professional benefits in the legal community in my city, but if you’re interested in nonprofit leadership, HR, or marketing, there are a lot of opportunities for training, skills development, leadership, and networking that could be valuable. Also, JLA is super, super diverse from a racial/ethnic/class perspective (still mostly Christian and I don’t know any LGBT JLA members, however) – not sure if that’s the case in other cities.

      (If you are in ATL and want to become a JLA member, I’m happy to talk to you more via my name at the mail of googles! I’m a frequent sponsor for new members and an advisor to new actives, in addition to my volunteer placement.)

      1. I was also in the JLA and thought it was pretty well run. It ruined me a little for the next league I joined which was smaller, less organized and more intense about meeting requirements. Still worth it for meeting people and one stop volunteering, but I was happy to go sustainer (alumni) within a few years.

    3. I was in a similar situation when I joined the Junior League. It is not helping me professionally but getting me involved in the community, introducing me to new organizations and I’ve made a few friends. I think you should consider it! Your Provisional Year is typically time consuming but the requirements go down after the first year.

    4. I started at the JLW and was a first-generation Junior League member (white though and self-sponsored). Family is not even blue collar.

      I had many immigrant / muslim / black friends also in my provisional class. It is a mix of sublime (Justice O’Connor was a junior league president) and crazy (weddings costing what my parents’ house cost), but worth it in terms of navigating a big city and becoming more involved in the community / building my network.

      Am now a sustainer in the Junior League of Charlotte. Maybe more at-home moms vs DC (but DC skewed a bit younger than say the Junior League of Northern Virginia). Would encourage my daughters to join. Give it a try.

    5. I joined and quit after a year. Also in the south. The pros were that the chapter here emphasizes diversity (although it was applied in a limited black/white way, but I did appreciate the attempt), and I met a lot of women I did not know. I really did like the people. The cons were that it was, other than meeting new people, a huge and complete waste of time. Useless meetings ALL THE TIME. And a meeting before the meeting so you could plan the meeting, and a meeting after the meeting to preplan the planning meeting for the next meeting.

      The provisional year is the worst about useless meetings, allegedly, but once I received my placement for the next year, I was on some committee that had– guess what!– an extra monthly meeting. That is when I said…Nope. The prize for the pie eating contest was MORE PIE (meetings) so I quit. I liked the idea of the community service aspect, but you spend more time in JL-internal specific meetings than you spend actually volunteering. I’d rather just… volunteer. It had zero professional value for me.

      I also found it terribly bureaucratic. You can’t just ask your best friend who owns a print shop to donate invitations for a JL event. You have to go through the donations committee, and they have to have a gosh damn meeting about it, and you have to have written approval before you can ask, and you probably can’t actually ask yourself– someone from the donations committee has to do it. You can’t just borrow twenty extra chairs from your sister’s event rental service, you have to make sure the JL doesn’t have a preexisting relationship with another event rental service who would be “offended” if you use another service.

      This is allegedly done in the name of “training” you how to be an effective volunteer. Which brings me to another point, which is that I found the JL incredibly condescending. They recruit women who run businesses and are in charge of big time stuff, yet once you join, they treat you like you don’t know how to plan a fundraiser– when what you really don’t know is how to follow JL’s extraneous and specific procedures. The last straw for me was when I paid for a cookbook (that I was required to buy, that I did not want) and got a very rude email from JL about how it was MANDATORY that I pick up my cookbook TODAY or else it would be RETURNED to STOCK, and this was a COURTESY they were extending to me (Caps theirs, not mine).

      In sum, if you are a little bored, need something to do, are open to instruction, and want to meet new people, try it out. If you are stingy with your time, don’t appreciate being talked to like a high school freshman, or don’t like inefficiency, do not join.

      1. Had a similar experience in Boston last year. I was put in a provisional group of ~35 year old women. People either had toddlers (so they never came to events, citing childcare issues) o r lived out of state (NH, VT–so they never came to anything because they said it was too far). No one came to our provisional meetings. Then I was put on a committee of a committee. Main committee never met, or if they did meet, everyone would flake and I would be one of three people at the meeting. Side committee leader insisted on weekly conference calls that she would show up 15-20 minutes late for. No thanks. I don’t even wait on a teleconference line for 15 minutes for clients!

        Endless meetings for meetings, it cost >$500, and frankly, most of the women I met were not very friendly or looking for new friends, so it was a bust. I returned to a charity that I volunteer for regularly that does good, hands-on, honest-to-goodness charity work, and I feel much more fulfilled!

  19. Any great pillow recommendations for someone who sleeps on their stomach? I’m having bad neck pain right now and attributing it to bad sleeping conditions…

    Looking to spend less than $50. Current $10 pillow isn’t cutting it…

    1. I was a die hard stomach sleeper and when I developed back issues, my regular dr, my chiropractor, and my physical therapist all told me to stop sleeping on my stomach. No pillow will help when that position fundamentally pushes your neck and back out of alignment. It took months, but I trained myself to sleep on my back, which is best for neck and back issues. I do sometimes rotate to my side, but not even that often anymore.

    2. We have had great luck with pillows from Costco. There’s one that’s about $16.99 that everyone seems to buy. I would check it out if you have a store near you.

  20. Northern Feather made in and from Canada. Hands down best pillows I have ever had, they’re the same brand used by Delta Hotels here and are just dreamy, soft, squishy comfy. I travel a LOT and have tried them all in my quest to find a decent pillow for my bed. These are worth every penny but with the exchange rate anyone in the US gets around 25% off too!

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