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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Long-Sleeve Sheath Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’m going to file this dress under “Things I Will Wear When I’m Allowed to Leave the House Again.” Sleeves, pockets, and a saturated, beautiful color? Let’s do it. I also like the button details at the cuffs and pockets. I would wear this with a dark purple shoe (if we’re going bold, let’s go all the way, baby!), but if you’re not feeling so bold, a black or tan pump would look great, too.

The dress is $148 and available in sizes 0–16. Long-Sleeve Sheath Dress

An option in plus sizes is from Vince Camuto — some sizes are sold out, but 18W–24W are still in stock. It's on sale for $43.98.

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296 Comments

    2. Agreed, that is my kind of dress! I love a full sleeve (like this one) as opposed to a 3/4 sleeve and they are SO hard to find.

  2. Check in, how are you feeling? Cheerfulness not required. If you’re kinda freaked out you’re kinda normal. But if you have a win let’s hear it!

    Art of the day (scroll down a bit and click on the catalog) https://www.briscoemuseum.org/2018-catalog/ I really like “Shadow Ropers”

    You can also view Art Basel Hong Kong online here https://www.artbasel.com/viewing-rooms but today is the last day.

    From the discussion yesterday here are the Seattle sea otters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1fp5nEacbg and the Atlanta PandaCam https://zooatlanta.org/panda-cam/
    Aquarium of the Pacific https://explore.org/livecams/aquarium-of-the-pacific/pacific-aquarium-tropical-reef-camera

    1. I’m feeling meh…can’t get into a work flow and am definitely not cut out to be with my child everyday. So I feel like a bad mom and a bad employee.
      But I want to shout out to Ribena who has launched an amazing instagram account featuring indie businesses in our city! Such an amazing resource for who is delivering, who needs support, etc.

      1. I love being at home FT with my kids — I really enjoy them and seeing them go about their day (and online lessons).

        BUT it would be a million times better for me (and them) if I weren’t supposed to be working FT simultaneously. If I had mental space this would be awesome. They are 9 and 11 and I haven’t seen them this much since . . . maternity leave.

        1. And: one kiddo is constantly talking. It is like having my late grandmother back. This week it is charming. It may stay charming as it is just a flow of words with no expectation of you really listening.

        2. Yeah I actually think I would love being a SAHM. But if I were a SAHM, 1) I wouldn’t have another full time job to be doing and 2) we would be able to leave the house for activities and have play dates with friends. This is SAHM-ing under the worst conditions.

      2. Same here. I love my daughter, but I miss having quiet time and being able to focus at work.

      3. Thanks! It just felt like something I could do to help, you know. Made me feel less powerless.

        1. Honestly I’m really worried about gaining weight. I know that’s not a great thing right now, but I am. I’ve fought tooth and nail to lose weight all year and now I’m floundering and gaining back and I’m just so upset about it all.

          1. I am right there with you. I NEVER lose weight (I am in the small side and don’t gain a lot, but crept up to slip just over the healthy BMI boundary) but in 2019 managed to lose 6-8 lbs, which is significant for me, through being diligent about vigorous exercise and watching what I ate.

            Now, I can’t really get my usual vigorous exercise. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment, so there’s not room to get vigorous, and I don’t run because I don’t think my knees could take it. Eating isn’t too bad, mostly because I’m afraid of eating up all my food. Although that bag of Swedish fish from Amazon is tempting me…

            I’m trying to tell myself that this isn’t forever and if I lost weight before, I can do it again. But I really miss my usual work outs. On the other hands I’m not shipping as much because 1) no need for nice clothes for at least another month and 2) I’m afraid to order anything that maybe won’t fit at the end of this.

          2. Hey! I just wanted to say ME TOO and you know what, it’s ok. It truly is. Give yourself time to adjust to the new normal and slowly move into a routine that works for your new normal. I’m the same, and it’s helped to:
            a) Put the scale away. Really – weight doesn’t reflect body composition or really anything meaningful in many cases.
            b) Set reachable, non-specific goals. like, “go outside” or “be active,” whatever that means for you. For me, that means getting up once an hour and dancing, running up stairs, a few pushups, etc. Nothing crazy!
            c) Instead of restricting, try ADDING something nourishing to your food choices if you’re having trouble there. So if you’re having pizza for dinner, add some veggies or a salad. Or if you’re craving chocolate, trying having some with fruit!

            This is just what has helped me feel good and healthy during this time, but there is no shame in feeling scared about gaining weight.

          3. Yep me too. I could have posted this. I am spiralling even though I know a few pounds are the last thing to worry about at this time. I haven’t been eating as well as I normally do, been drinking wine in the evenings and am less active and I can already see a physical difference.

            I’ve been trying to do bodyweight workouts but I can’t seem to focus on anything. I am trying to go outside more and maybe “run” (although lets be real, it’ll mostly be walking at this stage because I am not a runner). Other than that, I have no solutions, just commiseration.

          4. I am also struggling with gaining. I’ve had reflux issues that spiraled into needing a specialist, endoscopy, etc. Getting my weight down was instrumental in avoiding having my gall bladder removed. I absolutely cannot afford to put on pounds, and I’ve cut way back on food to account for having to be sedentary, but an empty stomach ALSO leads to reflux, so I’m damned either way.

    3. I posted yesterday about almost everything in my personal life just going to hell really quick this week. Today, I’m at least calm. I am no longer paralyzed by panic. I ran the numbers and we will be ok on just my husband’s salary for a while without even tapping into our emergency fund if I get laid off/furloughed. The news from the government this morning makes that even less scary for the short term. I guess a couple months out of work gives me loads of time to read all these baby books that have been stacking up.
      My husband finally felt the baby kick last night. Previously he would be moving like mad, and I would be able to feel him from the outside, but the moment my husband put his hand on my stomach the kid stopped moving. It was so frustrating, but I am beyond elated to finally share that with him.
      The sun’s out today after some heavy storms the past 2 days. I’m grateful for that.
      I know it seems like an endless dark tunnel right now, but this won’t last forever. Life will go back to some new normal before long. It has to. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward one day at a time.

    4. I was doing really well, until the past two days. I am single, no kids and while I’m an introvert and OK with isolating at home I feel….worthless. Like I shouldn’t be the one isolating, it’s just me and what does that matter if I get sick and die? I’m pretty healthy to begin with and don’t have conditions that would exacerbate this virus. I feel like I should be somehow be taking one for the team to help the people who have kids/families/other people that depend on them keep safe. That doesn’t even seem rational typing it out but it’s what’s going through my head all damn day.
      Yes I know that self isolating is a way to help others. I get that and that’s why I will continue to do it.
      I also know I am sitting stacks of privilege being able to work from home and keep my paycheck. but yet lots of existential guilt and angst over here.
      I’m taking lots of walks (and avoiding anyone I come across – it’s spring weather here and people are out enjoying fresh air now that they are home more) and trying to keep to a schedule, avoid alcohol, too much TV, reading books, trying to sleep enough, etc. I’m donating to United Way, the local food bank and some other charities that are out there working overtime to help those in need during this time. Those are the small things I can do and am doing. But I just feel….like I’m dying.

      2. You are so important! You’re part of the knowledge bank of the country and we absolutely need you! We need your mind and your power, you are part of our strength.

      3. On my local Nextdoor, people have been posting offers to help others who are more vulnerable or higher need. Would that make you feel like part of the team?

        1. Also, I think a lot of (most?) public schools are handing out food in a systematic way to those that depend on the free food public school would otherwise provide. I wonder if your local district could use some help? (To be clear, I am NOT trying to imply that your life is less important than others because of what you describe, just merely offering a suggestion that might make you feel like you are contributing? I am sure they have systems and set ups in place to make it as safe as possible).

          1. No school districts do not want or need volunteers to do this. Background checks alone would be a hassle they don’t have time for.

          3. My local homeless shelter still needs volunteers for food shifts. Usually they have a lot of corporate and church groups come in but those have dried up.

          4. My school district literally has a site to go to to apply to volunteer with these efforts. It asks about if you’ve been fingerprinted in the past – which many people have been for a variety of reasons – but it doesn’t say you can’t if you haven’t been. I’m sure there are a bunch of creative ways they have for one to help if not. It’s not like you are alone with children inside somewhere, my understanding is it’s an outside station with probably several workers/ volunteers around where mostly parents are likely picking up. The kids aren’t eating there. And it’s a crisis.

        2. Agreed, for me the best prescription is to be of service. It gets me out of my head and helps me recognize that I matter. It does not eradicate my sometimes sense of self-loathing, what is does is put it on pause. For that I have gratitude. OP I feel you. This whole being a grown up thing is stinking hard.

      5. You are not worthless. And your feelings are timeless and universal. I’m not religious, but I often think of Milton’s Sonnet 19 when I’m in situations where the best thing I can do is do nothing.

        When I consider how my light is spent,
        Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
        And that one Talent which is death to hide
        Lodged with me useless, though my Soul more bent
        To serve therewith my Maker, and present
        My true account, lest he returning chide;
        “Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
        I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent
        That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need
        Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best
        Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
        Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
        And post o’er Land and Ocean without rest:
        They also serve who only stand and wait.”

        1. This is my very favorite Milton poem and one of my few favorite poems of all time. I used to have it on my bulletin board.

      6. Lol. No. I don’t think someone else’s life is more important because she got a man to put a ring on it and pushed out a brat or two. No I wouldn’t give up medical care or money a job or anything because someone else is a mommy or daddy.

        1. Thanks all. This helps. It really does. Getting into my day has helped as well.
          I like the volunteer opportunities idea. I saw United way is asking for volunteers to help deliver meals to the elderly, or write them postcards and such, so I’ll look into that more and start there.
          Thank you all for the kind words and helpful suggestions.

    5. Also my boss sent this out yesterday so I’m posting in case it’s helpful to anyone

      Families First Coronavirus Response Act Signed into Law
      On Wednesday, March 18, the Families First Coronavirus Response Act was passed into law. Here are the takeaways you need to know:

      1. Paid Family Leave: Employees are entitled to paid family leave in the event they can’t work because their minor child’s school or childcare service is closed due to a public health emergency.
      1. The first 10 days of leave may be unpaid, or the employee may substitute accrued PTO/leave for such 10-day period.
      2. Thereafter, employees are entitled to up to 12 weeks of paid family leave at the rate of two-thirds of their regular wages but capped at $200/day (and $10,000 in the aggregate).
      3. Employees who have been employed for at least 30 calendar days will be eligible for such paid family leave benefits. This provision expires at the end of the year.
      2. Paid Sick Leave:
      1. Employers will have to provide 80 hours of paid sick leave benefits for the following reasons:
      1. If the employee is ordered by the government to quarantine or isolate or has been advised by a health care provider to self-quarantine because of COVID-19.
      2. If the employee has symptoms of COVID-19 and is seeking a diagnosis.
      3. If the employee is caring for a relative who is in quarantine.
      4. Employee’s child’s school or childcare service is closed because of the public health emergency.
      2. Such paid sick leave is capped at $511/day for the employee’s own care, or $200/day when the employee is caring for someone else. This provision expires at the end of 2020.
      3. Employers covered by FMLA will be eligible for refundable tax credits for such paid sick leave.
      4. Employers with fewer than 50 employees can apply for an exemption from paid leave if it would “jeopardize the viability of the business.” Guidance on such exemption is not yet available, but we will circulate such guidance once it has been published.
      3. Several provisions of the act provide additional benefits under fully insured group health plans and the ability to amend self-insured health plans and retirement plans.

      1. Thank you! One of my tasks today is summarizing this law and this is a great start for me.

        1. awesome! Glad you find it useful. Someone else told me business over 500 employees are exempt from the sick leave part. I don’t personally know. Anyway good luck to you :)

          1. the act itself only applies to businesses with fewer than 500 employees, so it’s not just limited to the sick leave part

    6. -painted my nails a teal/turquoise last night. Why do I have 2 bottles of this color, no idea, I will be donating this summer but they still make me happy
      -it’s finally getting warmer in Michigan so I’m going to start doing a little yard work everyday which normally sounds awful but I’m so excited to spend more time outside and prioritize the part of our house that we normally just do the bare minimum for
      I’m a little worried for DH, who currently doesn’t have to work the emergency department because he is in a specialty residency, but will most likely get pulled in as this progresses. He is concerned about his education/lack of training to prepare to graduate from residency. None of it is in our control, and it feels selfish to be worried about that when so many people are/will be getting sick but it’s his biggest long term fear.

    7. I’m okay. I’ve been totally phoning it in in terms of laundry, dishes, cooking. Last night it took me two hours to quit scrolling and get up for a shower – this usually happens when I’m not doing so hot mentally, but it feels so much more silly to not be able to do that when people are literally dying, or working so hard. And so today I am pretty tired and I don’t see the laundry getting done tonight. Ugh.

      But I’ve got my tea and my boss is in a good mood and we can take on the world this morning.

      1. So last week I was a particularly bad mood for 2 days, and my husband gently suggested cutting back on social media. It’s made this week start off much better, although I know it’s easier said than done especially when there’s not much “to do”. I was a little irritated when he first mentioned it, but a few days later I told him I appreciated it because it did help me out. Hang in there!!

        1. I am feeling really down and useless. I know that exercise and limiting social media are a big part of the remedy so why am I finding both of those so hard?

          1. you’re not useless! Not at all. I have been running since this started and just tell myself I will feel so much better when I am done. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far I go, but I’ve yet to not be happier when it’s over. Sending you a big virtual hug

        2. Same on social media. My entire newsfeed is people reposting scary data. New symptoms. Stories of younger people with severe cases. It was quickly turning me into a hypochondriac (indigestion and nausea! That’s a symptom that 7 people had without fever or breathing issues! wait I’m not as hungry as normal, is that loss of appetite? Can I reaaaaaaallly smell my food as well as I could yesterday?? Wait what, this virus can cause liver failure?? What are the symptoms of THAT?) so I am working on staying away for my own sanity.

          1. I hate this. I am not taking all this not-seriously, and realize a 1% death rate (if that’s accurate – we really won’t know until we have MORE TESTS) still means a lot of people dead, but why must all the stories be about people who died??

            It’s like the reverse Jimmy Carter – so many stories about how Jimmy Carter has survived melanoma, so people think, excellent, we are curing melanoma! But only because there are not nearly as many stories about the many many more people who die from melanoma.

            I get that if there were more stories about mild cases that a lot of people would not take the contact restrictions so seriously, but for people who tend to jump to worst case scenarios (like me) it would be nice to get an occasional, here’s someone who had COVID and recovered without needing hospitalization.

          2. ^my husband has 2 coresidents with COVID and they are both almost 100% better. No hospitalization, just rest & time.

          3. Agree re: death rate. Totally get flattening the curve, slowing the spread, and giving our medical system time to catch up, but still for most people this can be dealt with by staying home and resting. It’s part of what makes me hopeful we will get back to normal sooner than later. This is probably never going away, it will just be absorbed into our normal sickness cycle.
            Please don’t take this as a flippant reaction to those who are seriously ill now. I am self-isolating and following all recommendations by our health officials. I’m just trying to be less scared and more hopeful that we aren’t going to be terrified and stuck like this forever or even 18 months as has been tossed around.

        4. You need to develop hobbies and interests outside of social media! That’s totally key. If it’s your go-to when you’re bored, I guarantee that your anxiety will be much worse. So many of my friends (and I) have observed the exact same pattern.

          1. Girl I have tons of great hobbies and interests. They all involve leaving my house.

          2. It’s hard to quit social media because it’s a form of contact with other humans. But I’ve been resolutely not-clicking on COVID stories.

          3. Then get some indoor hobbies. It’s never been easier to learn a new skill (YouTube has EVERYTHING you could ever hope to learn), ebooks are available at the click of a button, etc.

    8. Check out the Cowboy Museum twitter guy — such a good story and the guy is precious. Has anyone been in real life? I want to go as soon as we can travel again. I’ve been to OK before, but just to Ft. Sill.

      2. Awww…. that’s my home town. I know that guy. I mean, not that ACTUAL guy, but our town (city) is full of people just like that. Nice place to live. (nice museum, too)

      3. I saw that last night when I was just feeling really bad and it really, truly cheered me up :)

      4. I was there decades ago and thought it was really cool. And I LOVE Cowboy Museum twitter guy. He is so sweet and funny.

    9. You can access free recorded concerts from the Berlin Philharmonic if you make an account on their website. Definitely worth it.

    10. Feeling surreal – it’s the first day working from home for me (not law) and I’m so unproductive. I went from having a desktop tower with three screens to a laptop with one screen.

    11. I’m really annoyed with my doctor’s office. Publicly they are saying they are cancelling/rescheduling all non-urgent procedures. Privately, they are doing a hard sell on colonoscopies/endoscopies to keep the revenue going. I don’t know this for 100% certain so I won’t name and shame but they are a household name medical facility. I have crohns that has been in remission for 10 years. I’m supposed to have a scope every other year or so just to make sure all is still good. It’s been less than 3 years since my last scope and they tried really hard to get me to come in next week for one. I initially caved and said yes, then thought better of it and just called and cancelled. I’m pissed that they are putting their revenue concerns over patient health.

      2. I’m grateful for people like you who are making safe decisions even without proper leadership (in this case the medical facility) … when I was younger I never would have empowered myself to do so, but let’s all empower ourselves to proceed with caution wherever we can.

      3. So what do you want them to do? Bring in zero revenue and close down? Obviously patient health matters, a LOT, but you can’t really blame businesses for not wanting to die overnight.

        1. This is why universal healthcare is so important, medicine shouldn’t be run as a business.

          1. Yes, I agree, but it’s not the reality we live in right now and I will be really concerned if medical providers go out of business, leaving us with more shortages in my high population area.

          2. Yeah, but it IS run as a business. We can’t compare it against some hypothetical of how you think things should be.

            I have a friend who owns a small business. He is one month of revenue ahead of payroll. If he loses a month of revenue, or his clients don’t pay him timely, he can’t make payroll.

            It’s a tough time right now. I don’t blame businesses for doing what they can to keep the revenue flowing. You can certainly say no to an appointment, but you don’t have to act like they should be jailed just because they asked you if you wanted one.

        2. Aid is available from the government for medical facilities who lose revenue due to a pandemic. My hospital-affiliate employer is quantifying all lost revenue, broken down my patient and date, for this purpose. Nobody is talking about us shutting down, and we definitely do not make colonoscopy-level revenue even in the best of times.

        3. I don’t think a gastroenterology practice is going to die overnight from cancelling non-urgent colonoscopies and endoscopies.

          1. Do you know how many providers are living on the edge, though? In my line of work, we study rural hospital closures and you wouldn’t believe how close many are to complete financial disaster. It’s no light thing to lose a month of revenue.

          2. A gastroenterology practice is not the same thing as a rural hospital or rural GP.

          3. You would be shocked at how badly medical practices that *should* be profitable are frequently run. I work on physician transactions a lot, and while most are ok, I’ve been dumbfounded by the amount of debt some specialty practices are in, like, WOW.

          4. I think that far more businesses are living on the edge than we all previously thought. Medical practices aren’t exempt from this.

          5. As Warren Buffet said, “the tide is going out. We’ll see who has been swimming naked.”

        4. OP here. I agree it is very complicated and this is why I am not going to name and blame. I am just making decisions for myself that I think are safest right now. I agree with 10:33 though that it is hard to advocate for yourself like this. I’m an attorney, I volunteer with a medical organization, and I still had to ask 5 people I trust if I was making the right decision. I was still super nervous when I called to cancel and was grateful to be able to do it via voicemail.

          I think this pandemic is highlighting the problem with the healthcare as a business model.

    12. I feel not great, I’m in a funk. I’m an essential employee at an essential agency and today was the first day Im work from home. I’m still doing the same job I did yesterday, with the same crazy hours, just from home. However, being sent home feels like they were trimming the fat and that I’m not helping. I know it’s not true, but it just doesn’t feel like I’m being utilized and truly helping the response effort. I get a lot of fulfillment from my career, especially since I’m living alone and have no direct contact with others. Working on responses is usually really tough but the camaraderie and the adrenaline gets you through and at home I have neither.

      Of course, it doesn’t help that all of my go to activities to get me out of the funk are things I currently cannot do and cannot do for the foreseeable future.

      2. Me too- I hate working from home, since I miss interacting with people who are not my spouse. My hands hurt from 8 hrs of typing (usually I have physical work to do to break it up, and I was supposed to start rehab for my wrists last weak ) and there’s kind of nothing I can do about it.

        1. If you have Windows OS, can you try Microsoft Ergonomic Sculpt Keyboard and mouse? They were the only things that cured my wrist in Biglaw.

    13. We are entering week 7? 8? of practicing general social distancing in Seoul. We have a number of new cases every day both from people coming in from abroad, as well as bouts of local transmission (churches, call centers etc).

      I am mostly doing OK. This will go on for a long time, since the government doesn’t want to go for a complete shutdown because we are 3 weeks away from a general election. I’m WFH and having groceries delivered to my door every 3-5 days. Stopped going to pilates and gym, although they are still open. I meet with one local friend (I am her only social contact other than her husband) every other day to take a walk. We also bring and eat lunch outdoors.

      My doctor friends are warning that the Korean govt is still behind on taking actions, and that the measures are not enough to prevent a spike in the number of patients. They are fighting for a contingency plan to requisition all the specialists and hospital beds (there is a severe shortage in major hospitals and trauma centers but many beds in private smaller hospitals) and equipment that are not currently under state control for a more efficient allocation of resources — since the time to act is BEFORE there is a surge in patients, not after.

      They are also keeping me mostly at home while most of my coworkers are still out and about — drilling into me that the fact that numbers have “stabilized” mean nothing, the population still doesn’t have immunity, and it can all go south at any time. We are probably looking at another few months of this at a minimum.

      1. That seems telling about our situation in the US, since South Korea seems to have had an exemplary response compared to ours.

      2. This is interesting–the US media is portraying the situation in South Korea as the virus’s being kept in check through testing, contract tracing, and isolation, with little social distancing.

        1. Yes, the widespread testing and contact tracing + isolation offers some level of comfort – or a false sense of security, as my friends call it. Measures for social distancing have not been as harsh as other countries are facing now, partly because the measures have helped, partly because the vast majority of the cases were contained in a particular region, and partly due to politics.

          The thing to remember that it is only AFTER confirmed patients are identified (mostly through their reported symptoms and ensuing testing, although aggressive testing also susses out some asymptomatic cases) that their contracts can be tracked down and tested. Even with rapid testing, there is still a time lag – at the very minimum – of 1-2 days between infection and testing / tracing, and social distancing is need to required to minimize the spread during this time, because, again, no immunity. There are necessarily cases that fall through with this approach, some with catastrophic results (see: #DontBePatient31).

          It does probably helps somewhat that N95-level face masks are a somewhat common household good, due to the high level of air pollution year-round, and are mandatory in public indoor places. It is the only item on the Korean panic-buy list — you still can’t find them in most stores. The government is now rationing their sale to 2 per person per week, and keeping a national database of the sales.

          As the measures necessarily become prolonged, I’m more worried that many people are growing weary of schools being closed and campaigns for “just two more weeks” of voluntary social distancing. Many want to see the situation as “managed” and “manageable” and because restrictions are not so strict, people are beginning to venture out again into bars, restaurants, gyms, cafes, etc. But the healthcare system is in a precarious state, a surge in patients can still happen here, and social distancing — while maybe not quite at the lockdown level — is still and will continue to be an essential component of the slowing of the spread for the foreseeable future.

          2. That story is so crazy! I cannot imagine having a fever and going to a hospital and then going out / to church. On any day, not just under these circumstances. When I have a fever I feel bad and look it.

          3. Thanks for sharing this from Seoul! I was kakao-ing with a friend in Seoul and amazed that ppl were still going to work. T he fact that gyms are open is discouraging.

            In the US, we’ve also had a false sense of security (nobody has it if nobody can get tested, y’all) up through last week, so it’s a terrifying few weeks as we’ve mainly been living life as normal until last Monday or so. The fact that most cities and workplaces finally get the importance of staying home is good though (though it might be too late).

            #stayhome #dontbepatient31

    14. Thank you for your posts every day. I look forward to them. They help take my mind off things and help me “stay out of my head” as my friend calls it. I especially love the Briscoe Museum catalog today. I could spend hours there today looking at all those amazing pieces. The colors and detail are gorgeous!

    15. Any other introverts finding that social distancing/shelter in place isn’t THAT different from your regular life? I miss my hobbies (riding horses, mostly), but I very rarely went out to happy hours or met with friends in large groups. Most of my friends don’t even live in my city now. I’m enjoying the alone time and just wish it weren’t tinged with so much stress.

      1. My youngest child is a huge introvert and she couldn’t be happier, curled up at home with her whole family 24/7. She has friends and plays a travel sport, but I think quarantine is her natural state.

        1. My 4 year old could not be happier. He doesn’t want to Facetime family or friends. He doesn’t want to go outside much. He is not stir crazy. He seemed relieved when I told him we weren’t going to be able to do a birthday party for him (besides mommy and daddy) this year and just asked to help me make the cake. He doesn’t seem to miss going to school at all, although he misses some of the adults there. The only thing he seems to miss is swim lessons/swimming in general.

          DH is about the same as Kiddo.

          I’m pretty stir crazy. I miss just being able to go out and run errands or go to the gym or the zoo or a playground or a restaurant. I miss hanging out with our friends. I’m disappointed about all the things that have been canceled–the St. Patrick’s Day parades, community Easter Egg hunts, fundraisers, festivals, weddings, trips. Obviously, I know it’s for the best.

      2. Yep. As a singleton introvert with no kids, I’m home alone most of the time anyway. This stay-at-home business is a walk in the park for me.

      3. I’m feeling so RELIEVED that I don’t have to be “on” every day at work. I am super friendly in social settings when I can be myself, but work is an incredible strain on me (always wondering if I’m saying the right thing, if X is 110% correct, etc). Now I’m only speaking with coworkers by email (we are not at all a videocon culture – thank goodness!), which gives me plenty of time to consider what I’m saying, so it takes away all of my work anxiety. I didn’t realize until this how anxious/stressed I was about work. Honestly, I’m loving this time – it’s like those days after Christmas but before New Years when you don’t know the day and you just bake and watch fluffy tv and read novels. That said, I don’t have kids!

        1. Oh same, same. I know if I had kids, this would be entirely different. As it is now, I’m a well-spoken, socially adept introvert (because, as we all know, introvert is not synonymous with tragically awkward) who is enjoying the chance to not waste all my social/talking energy on work.

      4. Yep. I excel at social distancing, it turns out. But I don’t have kids. If I had kids, this would be an utter nightmare.

      5. I’m an introvert and I think it’s hard because I have too much time with my family and am literally never alone in my house. My husband normally plays a sport every weekend afternoon and usually takes our kid out of the house a few times a week for errands or activities, so I’m used to waaaaay more alone time. Would be different if I lived alone of course.

      6. Yes, I feel weird about the fact that I’m actually doing a lot better than usual in the past few weeks. I have an immune deficiency, and I think a large part of it is just that I’m not being exposed to anything right now, since my partner has been working from home and not traveling. I’m also not spending any of my limited energy on commuting (and a lot less on hair/makeup/clothes). So I just feel much better than I usually feel. I’m planning to discuss this with my doctor when this is all over!

      7. 100% yes. As an introvert with terrible FOMO, this has been a very easy acclimation for me (notwithstanding the overwhelming dread that something terrible will happen to the many immuno-compromised people that I love).

        1. Haha, this might be me. I feel like I should go out and be social, but I’m loving the lack of FOMO.

      8. I am introverted, but there is so much that I miss that I didn’t realize made my introverted life whole, if that makes sense. I love being able to sit home and read, and I do that most nights and weekends, but I also love my weekend routine with the dog that I can’t currently do (a bagel at the local coffee shop while we sit and read, and then go on a 2-3 mile walk). I miss just wandering around my neighborhood with the dog for hours, grabbing a coffee, and just….existing in the world without trying to keep 6 feet of distance between me and everyone else. I miss getting social interaction at work, because I really like my colleagues. I miss grocery shopping even though I generally hate it. I’m high risk, so I’ve either had groceries delivered or had to ask people for help since the 2nd. I’m generally very independent, so I really, REALLY hate having to ask people to get my groceries. I miss browsing at the used bookstore, or at the library. I miss going out to eat, sitting down, and reading my book while I eat for a change of scenery from my apartment. I’m not doing badly, but I feel my anxiety and low-level depression right at the edge most days and it’s been difficult to keep it away.

        The dog, however, is in second heaven.

      9. I’m an introvert, married to an introvert, with an introvert child… and one extrovert child, both under 5. We’re all suffering in various minor ways!

      10. Am super introvert and I love being at home. But I’m kind of over it. I miss my routine. Also, I love the Rocket Scientist, but I find myself picking at little things that he says or does that make absolutely no difference whatsoever. Gotta knock that off before he starts being less good-natured about it. It’s rough with both of us working from home in our teeny tiny apartment. I am used to having alone time at home and it is in very short supply.

    16. These posts are so wonderful. Thanks :)

      I’ve had the Benny Hill theme song on repeat all morning. Because it perfectly encapsulates how things are going so far. Also, it makes me smile, so I may as well be entertained while trying to control work crazy from home.

    17. Ugh. Still going in to work (essential function) and mostly sitting alone in my office. I almost cried this morning driving in on the empty streets. I think this is my worst day so far — I’m really feeling the fear on all fronts.

      But, like others, apparently I’m more of an introvert than I thought because I’m kind of fine with the social distancing and just hunkering down with my lovely husband.

    18. I’m not cheerful exactly but relatively calm considering Friday is my last day at my job! They let me go before the pandemic so it’s not related, but it’s of course looking much harder to line up the next job than it looked a few weeks ago (which feels like a year ago.)

      I had two Zoom interviews yesterday, I picked up a small part-time contract (no benefits but fairly good pay) and I have a roof over my head and food to feed my family so I guess I still feel fortunate.

      I save most of my anger for my husband’s employer who is in the “essential” category, but has employees including my husband who could 100% work from home and they won’t let them.

  3. In mod for some reason so trying again!

    Please help me understand! I have read here many many times over the years how unless the interest rate on your mortgage is crazy, putting any extra money towards retirement or another investment is a better call than the principal of one’s mortgage. However, when I was trying to communicate the same to my DH this weekend I couldn’t explain how/why that is the case. In fact his math about how much we stand to lose on paying interest over the years on our mortgage seemed to make more sense. I am not great at finances and only starting to learn so would really appreciate someone walking me through how this makes sense. If it helps, our interest rate is 3.25% (we went for a 7/2/2 ARM instead of 30 years) and we have started maxing out our 401ks this year. We have very few stocks (not great at it) and mostly Vanguard or other MFs as other savings (a total of 25k or such) but that doesn’t seem to grow as much as our interest. I did Google a bunch last two days but couldn’t find this explained well anywhere (instead ended up at D Ramsey’s stuff which has advice to the contrary). Thanks for taking the time to explain or pointing me to the right resources!

    1. I think the general idea is that if you google what the average annual S&P 500 return was over (pick your long period of time, 15-20 years?) the average is decently higher than 3.25% (I know, it certainly doesn’t feel that way now!). So if you are using extra money to pay off 3.25% worth of interest, you are losing that opportunity cost where that same money could in theory be making more % over the long haul.

      There are obviously a lot of nuances to this, and different things that might apply to different people might make it not work; like, if you are one that tries to time markets (which will likely end badly), or makes subpar investments that don’t mirror the general market, or the long term upwards trend history of the market completely reverses for the long term (since past is no guarantee) etc etc then it might not make end up making sense.

    2. What is your interest rate vs how you expect the market to perform? By paying off your mortgage you save 3.25% but maybe investing the money that would have gone toward that you’d make 6%. 6% > 3.25% .

      1. The interest savings is free $ — it is like you’re ahead by interest rate / your marginal tax rate, which is how to really compare apples to apples. Any market-based returns need to be on an after-tax basis.

      2. Guess my problem is, I don’t see that 6% return ANY where we currently have savings: 401k, the index funds, the MFs… does it mean I have to invest in stocks for that or am I understanding even the basics wrong? (SORRY if thats the case)

        2. Over a long time period, like decades long, an index fund should outperform the interest on a mortgage. Over a shorter time period that might not be true.

          If you have an index fund, you have stocks. An index fund is a type of mutual fund. Both are made up of stocks. Your 401K probably contains index funds and/or other mutual funds. You may also have index funds and/or other mutual funds outside of your 401K.

          1. Not to quibble, but an index fund can be a variety of things like a bond index fund or a currency index fund. So to make a blanket statement that if one owns an index fund means they own stocks is not necessarily true. Important in this case bc the long term return of a bond index fund is going to be different than a stock one and changes the mortgage pay down math.

          2. Also, an index fund is not a type of mutual fund. They can be similar to each other, but they are not a subset of.

    3. It’s all about the return arbitrage (your money will grow more in the market relative to the interest you save by paying debt down faster). That said it’s all about risk appetite. Some people are more comfortable prioritizing paying down debt (a known/definite cost) over uncertain market returns.

      1. + over the risk that interest rates will be higher over the next 30 years than they are now. I’m too risk averse for ARMs. I remember when LIBOR was >5% and rates were commonly starting at LIBOR + 6%. Not for FICO > 750 people, but still.

        I get a fixed 30 and prepay it like it’s on a [remainder of the term I had when I refinanced for]. I have a lot of cushion I can use if I need major car work, etc. done so I don’t have balances on credit cards.

    4. Let’s say you have an extra $200 a month. If you put that $200/month toward your mortgage, you will shave time off the end of your mortgage (an online calculator will tell you how much) but you won’t really see the value of that $200 until your mortgage is paid (or until you sell, and presumably you have more equity, but that’s dependent on your local home values which is another conversation entirely).

      But let’s say you put that $200/month into the market that’s returning 6% a year. After 10 years you will have put in $24K but it will be worth about $33K. But the same money would have only reduced your mortgage balance by $24K (and shortened the remaining length).

      Of course what that doesn’t account for is risk — and right now the stock market is very volatile! And some people prefer the goal of having a paid-for house to minimize their expenses in the long term, even if they are giving up some investment earnings to get it.

      1. You could also look at it as diversifying your investments a little more. Using example numbers, you could have 50k of ownership of your house, or 40k in your house and 10k in the stock market.

    5. You’ll just have to do the math, unfortunately. It’s different for every mortgage/state/tax situation. And it also depends on what you’d do after you paid off the house. Many argue that once you pay of the house, that monthly amount could be fully invested in the market, which could very well be a better investment if you were able to, say, pay off a 15 yr mortgage in 10 years and then invest the entire amount in the market for the remaining 5 years. For us, the math was basically split right down the middle– but we’re choosing to pay ours off.

    6. All the financial info you’ve gotten above is great, but I wanted to add one non-rational consideration…you have to consider your own level of debt/risk aversion. We did the same calculation as you did but still put more into paying off our mortgage because we just don’t like to have that large of a debt hanging over us from a totally mental perspective. Yes, totally irrational and not going with the math, but peace of mind does have value.

    7. First off, if you have extra money to put towards your mortgage, get out of the ARM and get a 15 or 30 year mortgage.

      1. Not sure I understand why is that a better idea… took the ARM wanting to pay it off early and only now questioning that assumption…

        1. If you were planning on payoff off the ARM early, so you have no mortgage, that is fine. Most people take an ARM to have a lower payment, and then refinance when the ARM is due, or before the ARM is due. That is not a great strategy, as those ARM payments before the ARM is due are not paying down your mortgage.

    8. We had a 30 yr fixed rate mortgage, refi’d to a 15 yr fixed rate, ultimately paid everything off this past summer. Now maybe I’m risk averse and paranoid but at this point I do wonder if I’ll have a job next year (performance is okay but I’m tired and I know it plus I’m senior and expensive). Not having a house payment to worry about if that does happen… is AWESOME. And yes, I have been packing the difference in cash flow into the market although watching that tank is… less awesome! We considered our extra mortgage payoff money as part of our bond allocation although because banks take care of themselves it actually had a higher rate than bonds, I think (I didn’t actually do the math). But if you think of mortgage payoff as a bond allocation maybe it could make you more comfortable buying the dip because you’re not necessarily skewing your allocation. Side note, I personally would not be happy with an ARM (there’s the risk averse talking).

  4. Cute Sheath dress and very nice cut and color, Elizabeth! This is a good selection for us that we can start wearing when we return to the office. I hope that is soon b/c I am getting cabin fever from sitting in my apartment. Dad keeps telling me he wants me there, but I am not sure it is safe b/c randma Leyeh and Grandma Trudy are there and I have been here in the City so who knows if I am free of virus. If I can self Isolate for 14 days here, and then have Dad drive here and get me after that, mabye that will work, but I am hopeing it will not have to come to that. I face-time with all of them so that kind of works. I also face-time with Rosa and the Kids, so I am not alone. Myrna is the only person I see here and she said that mabye she should just stay here, which could work, but I haven’t had a regular full time overnight bunkmate since Sheketovits, so it could be tough. The HIVE should hunker down and we will all get through this.

  5. Question. I ordered a st ambroeus jardigan in a size M (had a coupon) and it fits, but feels a skosh small. I haven’t been going to the office like many of us, so I can’t tell if it would annoy me during a full workday, or if I’m just used to wearing leggings and sweatshirts all day every day. Should I put on actual work clothes and try wearing it for a half a day or something, or should I just exchange for a L? (I should also probably ask for the garment measurements in the different sizes)

    2. You could not pay me enough right now to “dress up” for a half a day. If you’re not comfortable, exchange it or return. If this period of time has taught me anything (and let’s be honest, it’s taught me a lot), it’s that being uncomfortable is just not worth it.

    3. My St. Ambroeus looks fitted across the shoulders but doesn’t feel tight. I can wear it comfortably with sleeveless or short-sleeved dresses. If yours feels tight, it’s probably a bit small. I would call for the garment measurements on sizes M and L, particularly shoulder-to-shoulder.

    5. I have learned that something is slightly uncomfortable when you first put it on, it’s going to feel worse and not better after wearing it all day.

  6. Anyone have a DIY standing desk solution now that many of us are working from home? Currently my laptop is perched on a stack of books on my dresser but there is 0% chance that I am not going to knock it over. I probably need a built-for-this stand, rather than using found objects from around my house… Anyone have tips on how to DIY this?

    1. There are table-top options on Amazon for about $150-200. Might it be worth that investment for this period of time while we’re all at home? It’s much more affordable than say the Varidesk but works just as well.

    2. Can you get a tall, small bar table that is a workable height for you when standing?

    3. Here’s mine:
      on a standard dining room table first put down a bath towel
      -placed a full size milk crate
      – then placed an old piece of counter top no longer than 3 feet (unless you have 2 milk crates or will wobble)
      I wore sneakers for the 1st week, then was gifted an ergo-dynamic type mat , barefoot is hard on the back

      It works for me as it is easy to pack and move.

    4. I have a Stand Stand. Made in America, birch, comes apart for easy storage. Very sturdy. Link to follow!

    6. My standing desk:
      I use an ironing board to hold my keyboard and a music stand to hold my iPad.

      I make it sit/stand by adding a folding bar stool.

  7. My grandmother lives alone. I’ve been calling her nearly every day and every time we talk she asks me to come visit her. It’s so hard. I really do want to visit but I don’t want to risk exposing her (I’m still making a weekly trip to the grocery store, husband still has to go to work, etc.) I’ve explained the risk but she still asks every time we talk. She’s lonely and says she’d rather die than be isolated.

    There was a time I was sort of hopeful we might all be able to stay home for a couple of weeks, flatten the curve, and then be able to get out of our houses again. Silly, I know. But when I told her it would just be for a couple of weeks, she seemed to understand. Now that this is stretching out longer and longer (until when …. a vaccine is developed?? enough of us have caught it to have herd immunity??) it’s harder to explain to her and harder for her to accept. If it takes 12-18 months for a vaccine, is she really not supposed to have anyone visit her until then?

    I don’t know. This is hard. What would you do?

    1. There are pictures online of people visiting elderly loved ones by standing outside a window while the relative stands (at least 6 feet) outside the window. Could you do that?

      Generally, I would not violate the advice of governments and doctors to visit an elderly relative. It’s easy for them to say they’d rather die than be isolated when it’s a hypothetical possibility. It’s quite another for you to live with it for the rest of your life if something were to happen.

      Most importantly, you wouldn’t be just putting your grandma at risk if you were visit (and come into contact), it would be everyone that SHE later comes into contact with, and everyone YOU later come into contact with, if one of you passes the virus to the other.

      You’re clearly a compassionate, kind person, but you’re doing the right thing by maintaining distance for now. No decision you make is forever. If a month or two from now this is all still going on and your grandma seems to really be struggling, you can reassess. But for now, I would continue to say no.

      1. Also, in the worst case scenario, if she got sick she could go to a hospital where it is well known that nurses, doctors, etc do not have enough protective equipment to keep themselves (and thus their families) safe.

        If she needed one, there’s a decent chance she wouldn’t be put on a ventilator given her age if there’s a lot of cases in her area. And if she were to go on a ventilator, it would be one less life saving device for someone else, who could be younger or have a family or be a first responder, as at least right now they are not actively taking people off of ventilators once they are on. That’s not to say that those lives are more valuable, but if you can avoid a situation where a horrible choice has to be made, it’s better.

        The moral culpability would be way too much for me for a visit that is ultimately optional. I like other people’s suggestions of visiting outside the window or I would suggest finding a way to video chat, even if it means buying an iPad, setting it up yourself, and then shipping it to her.

    2. Can she video chat? Also, if she lives in a house, I wonder if you can bring a lawn chair and sit 6 ft from her in the front yard but still visit? Maybe wear a scarf and gloves and wipe down everything before you leave.
      This is so hard. I totally get it. My grandparents live in China and I have had to cancel the trip back to visit them that I have been looking forward to and I don’t know when I will be able to with this craziness…

    3. Can you drive there and she comes out and visits in the driveway? That’s what I did with my mom yesterday.

    4. This is so hard, I’m so sorry. My grandmother is in a care home and visits right now are strictly not allowed. If your grandma is in her own home, why not get her to sit on the porch steps and you can set up a chair on the driveway (keeping distance)? Hugs to you and your grandma!!

    7. Definitely do not enter her home if you visit. Stay outside and talk to her through ab open window if you must, staying at least 6 feet away (preferably a few more to be safe). Even if she really doesn’t care about dying, think of the health care workers that whose lives are put at risk treating patients, think of the person who won’t get a ventilator because one more person is taking one, the nurse who has to re-use her mask after treating your grandmother. No no no. Please don’t make contact with her.

    8. Look, we seem to have a variation on this post every single day where everyone wants to know if their exception to the rule is allowed. If you want to violate whatever your state has told you to do, please at least be smart about it. You don’t need permission from everybody here. Just don’t be a complete idiot.

      1. OP doesn’t mention what restrictions are in place where she lives. I think people are asking because they don’t know if their official rules are enough, and are trying to figure out on their own what is responsible to do. Advice from people in Italy is to implement far more stringent rules on ourselves than our local governments are requiring. I’m not surprised that people are confused. I myself was actually grateful to get a shelter in place order, because it meant I no longer have to try to make these calculations or explain them to others.

      2. Compassion is always appreciated and it especially useful during these difficult times. Try it out. See how it feels.

    9. Everything short of a contact visit.

      Can you go over (in my city, we have an order, but checking on elderly / vulnerable people is allowed with precautions) and:
      talk on the phone?
      shout through a window?
      wave?
      have a big dry-erase board?
      bring a poster on posterboard?
      draw with sidewalk chalk on driveway / walkway?

      Like be a nice stalker but hover at the perimeter of the . . . law school word . . . curtilage? Cannot remember how to spell that anymore.

      1. LOL, that sounds like the real-life equivalent of when people’s caps lock keys get stuck on Facebook. “HOW ARE YOU AND THE KIDS…WE ARE THINKING OF YOU…”

      2. I swear all of the grandpas are all over their ham radios now, like they have a purpose to connect and share disaster info. It is like having a scanner with a side of geritol and a side of disaster-prepper.

    11. Go visit your grandmother. Assuming she has her own place and it is not pouring rain, have her bring a chair and sit on her porch; you bring a chair and set it at least 6 feet away (which is not that far away). Sit down and talk to her. If she lives somewhere this is not possible, then arrange to meet somewhere outside and do the same thing.

      Obviously if she is in a facility that presents other challenges but I assume that is not the case or we would not be having this discussion because it would be closed to outside visitors.

      I am currently doing my parents’ shopping. I text to let them know I am nearby. I put the groceries down on their porch and back away. They come out and sit on the edge of their porch and I sit in a lawn chair and we talk. Is the risk zero? Probably not but better than them doing their own shopping. Is it a common sense solution that balances their need for company (and food) with safety, I think so.

      This is not going to be over in a couple of weeks. We need a reasonable approach that is sustainable.

  8. Getting the sense that staff layoffs may be coming to my (non biglaw) law firm. I’m a mid level associate. I don’t think that associate layoffs are currently being contemplated, but I’m trying to get my ducks in a row and looking for options. I know about Indeed and the state bar association board for job opportunities – any other places I should be checking? My practice is general corporate work, with an emphasis on small M&A. Willing to look at firms or in house, though I know opportunities at both are thin on the ground. Just want to feel like I’m doing something…

    2. Are you friendly with bankruptcy / restructuring lawyers or can you do finance? They are hopping busy right now. And someone is going to have to do a lot of forbearance agreements on commercial loans. Maybe that someone can be you?

    3. Following this… I’m worried about layoffs as well. One of the partners said that if clients can’t pay or collecting on accounts slows over the next 3 months, then they may have to make some temporary decisions. I’m pretty sure it would only be temporary – I think things will get really busy again once the courts/administrative tribunals/arbitrators are all open again.

      For me, I’m just making sure my LinkedIn is up to date. I live in a small city and only recently joined this firm, so I feel very at risk as the “new kid”. I’m hopeful that we can continue working and clients continue to pay their accounts!

    4. Associate of Corporate Counsel has jobs posted and I don’t think you have to be a member to see them. There are also some good legal recruiters – Prescott, Pye, Gibson & Arnold. Of course Linked-In.

  9. I did a big grocery shop yesterday and drank waaaaay too much whiskey last night. Am hungover. V. bad choice, Bridget.

    1. This was me on Monday… DH and I decided that a karaoke/dance party in the kitchen until 2am was a good decision. It was not. Not at all. I feel ya! Drink some electrolytes and eat all the carbs!

      1. Hahahaha same. I drank way too much Monday night and struggled with WFH yesterday. We had fun though.

      1. “Am hungover” lol Bridget! We have been drinking the good wine. Every day now is the rainy day we’ve been saving it for. Even though I have plenty, I had a case delivered from our local wine shop. Figured I could sacrifice to help them through the crisis . . .

        2. I also put in an order at my local shop, and my case is going to include several bottles of champagne. Should be arriving by noon today, and I can’t wait!

        3. I called my local wine shop and asked if they are indeed an essential business. He assured me they are. I asked him to put together a case for me, which should include at least 6 screw-top bottles that are either new zealand style sauvignon blanc or dry rosé, and between $10-$15. He said to give him 15-20 minutes.

          I drove to the loading dock and called him to let him know I was there. He asked me to open my trunk and not get out of the car. He put the box in my trunk and walked back inside. It was dark.

          I fully plan to buy all my wine like this from now on.

          1. This sounds amazing in a delightfully sketchy way. Earlier this week I confirmed that my local bigbox wine store is on instacart, but your method would be way more enjoyable.

          2. We did something similar with a local brewpub. He put the crowlers in the back of the pickup next to the propane tank, so we have fresh brewed beer for the next week.

    3. I did this too last night. Feeling it this morning, hard. I could really use a greasy breakfast and a couple of hours in front of the TV but I am *slammed* with work and trying to make money while I can because I have no idea how long I’ll stay busy.

  10. What’s the first thing you’re going to do if/when social distancing stops?

    Me: hug my parents… as I drop my kids off and head out to a restaurant with my husband.

      1. My friend group has been having virtual game night with Jackbox.tv’s game packs, streamed (I think) on twitch (DH did the setup, I just show up and play). Quiplash is the best. It actually works surprisingly well.

        1. sorry, jackboxgames.com is the link to get the games (jackbox.tv is the game play link)

      1. Yeah, I’m definitely thinking this. I’ve spent a lot of time barefoot at home and I’m realizing my toes need some love!

    3. Get a remedial haircut after trying to maintain my own pixie for who-knows-how-long! This could get really gnarly. The only thing worse than cutting it myself would be leaving it uncut. I’d wear a baseball cap to work, but it’s a hospital and I can’t sanitize it!

      2. Yes, all the hair appointments. My hair is hilarious right now. My gray has grown out unevenly because I was avoiding a new piercing in my left ear, and got only 2/3 of my head done last time. I also need a cut so badly because I was scheduled with a new CGM stylist who has a 6-month wait list. I look like a scraggly wizard.

    4. My actual first thing will probably be leaving the kids with my in-laws (who literally just bought a house in our town – they haven’t moved yet and I’m not sure when they will now) and go to a crowded bar.

      But one of my big things will be going to an amusement park. I don’t really do that a lot, but for some reason, the thought of all of these amusement parks sitting empty really gets me. (My son saw a news story that mentioned Epcot being closed this morning and was horrified (we went last fall). He cried and said it was his favorite place. I had to reassure him over and over that it was only temporary and we weren’t even going to be going there any time soon.)

    5. Hug my daughter. I haven’t since she got back from abroad. Then we will both go get manicures! I also want to have a wine night with the wonderful neighbors who have kept us stocked during our lockdown.

        2. Yes, she is home with me, but I haven’t hugged her for COVID-19 reasons.

    6. Eat a 3-course meal at local sit down restaurant! Takeout/delivery just isn’t the same.

      1. I am going to go to ALL THE RESTAURANTS! Maybe lunch and dinner on weekends. And I am going to dress fancy no matter how casual the restaurant.

        And all the bars. And go see all the shows. And finally have friends over for a party like I’ve been half-heartedly thinking about for years.

      1. Me too, and it hasn’t even been three full weeks since my last appointment (I’m in a city that was slow to get community transmission). I usually touch-up the roots every six weeks (I’m a brunette with a LOT of gray at my part and hairline… as a single childless 37-year-old [so, still trying to fake myself into feeling younger than I am by keeping the gray at bay!]). Wow, that’s a mess of a run-on sentence.

    9. I have a full bucket list. It includes a tattoo (“survival is insufficient”), going dancing, and going away with my parents. First thing, though – running up the hill to my aunt and uncle who are local and giving them both a huge hug.

    10. See my family (mom is an elevated risk, living with my dad and brother so haven’t seen any of them in about a month), see my EXTREMELY high risk uncle and my aunt, hang out with my friends, go to a bar, get a pedi and a facial, go to a barre class, go to the beach, go hiking, go out to eat, go to trivia at my local bar, go to a concert, etc etc etc

      First thing will absolutely be seeing family (will prob have a cook out with immediate family and aunts/uncles) and friends (likely at our go to bar), and then after family/friends/going out I will get a pedicure and go to the beach

      I’m a huge extrovert and all of my hobbies are either very active and/or involve other people. I’m temporarily living alone and cannot partake in my hobbies so literally can’t wait to do everything.

    13. See my horses, as the barn has been ordered closed by the state. Hug all my friends at the climbing gym. Go skiing if anything is still open.

      1. What state do you live in? I’m in CA and I doubt any of our ski resorts are going to open, but I’m hoping for it. Can’t wait for the barn to open too.

        1. I’m in the northeast, so I mostly ski in Vermont with an annual big trip out west (or this year, was meant to be heliskiing in Iceland in May, sigh) – though at this point, I’d totally fly anywhere that was open when this is all over. Maybe this is the year to check out Patagonia in August. :)

          1. Not a bad idea. I might see if Mt. Hood or one of the other resorts with a summer season is open. Never been but am a little desperate…

    14. Anyone have anything they WON’T be doing? I’m going to continue avoiding things like concerts because I have health conditions and I don’t find them worth it. I’m also going to make an effort to avoid eating out as much as I did before because it’s healthier and cheaper for me to eat at home. I already spent very little on hair/beauty (and don’t wear make-up) so I won’t be doing anything in that realm. It’s interesting how this period has helped me identify what actually matters and what I’m looking forward to doing again and what I don’t miss.

      1. We will likely not go back to eating out as frequently or having a cleaning crew. Finally realized how much our elementary aged son can do and honestly it’s only about 3 hours on a weekend day to do the entire house top to bottom better than our old crew did. I do miss a lot of our restaurants but taking 4 ppl out to eat twice a week adds up and I think we’ve learned we can skip it and be just as happy with pizza and a movie night.

    17. Have a big party! And go to that cool cocktail bar I’d been meaning to go to. Then use all these classpass credits to work out at ALL my favorite fitness studios! And see my family.

    18. I don’t think it’s going to be like “Ok, yay social distancing is over, everyone go hug your friends, throw all the parties and take all the plane flights!” I think restrictions will be lifted in waves. I see children returning to school long before we resume massive gatherings like concerts, for example. I can also see travel restrictions being in place for quite a while after normal life resumes locally.

    20. Go to a bar, watch baseball, and drink my face off while bonding with strangers.

    22. Go out on a real date with my new guy, where I get to dress up and everything. We met through friends in early February, and hung out a ton in a group but only had one real date before this all started. I can’t wait till we can actually date

  11. Question for Eileen Fisher pant fans: would light gray ones show cellulite? I found a good sale but they’re final sale.

    1. Yes if it’s the ankle pants. Also note, I’ve found that if you size up to try to avoid it, the waist is huge and they don’t want to stay up.

    2. Light gray bottoms by any manufacturer never work for me for this reason. I finally gave up.

      1. Wow — I have a light gray Etsuko I never wear because the light hits it and shows how even the slightest ripple. My black one OMG I may wear out. Not sure if the gray one would take to being dyed purple but I think I have nothing but my lumps to lose.

        1. I’d give it a shot, unless you feel like you could make money reselling it (market is way down on used clothes right now I think). If I’m getting rid of something that has no resale value, and I think to myself “this would be great, if only…” I’ll try home altering it or dyeing it just to see if it works. Not much to lose.

    3. I’m a fan of those pants but I think the answer is yes. I love my charcoal gray ones though.

  12. Essential employee in an essential city government agency. Today is my first ever work from home day. I’ll likely be called back to the office within a week but I’m 2 hours into my work day and I’m already losing it.

    I’m a huge extrovert and my roommate moved back to her parents so I’m totally alone. I’m working 6 days a week, 12 hour days of COVID response work from home, which I feel is difficult (both that this type of work is not meant to be done remotely and that these are a lot of hours for wfh and that camaraderie makes long hours and stressful work and depressing subject matter bearable)

    What are your best work from home tips and your best work life balance / stay at home tips? I went for a run before logging in and have been video chatting with friends at night but I’m sure you all have even better ideas.

    1. I think exercise in the morning and contact with your friends and loved ones in the evening is about all you can do when you’re working that hard. Maybe try to take a 30-minute lunch break? Make sure you have healthy foods to eat and snack on. It’s impossible to have work/life balance when you’re working 72 hours per week. You’re doing important work, and you’re doing enough.

    2. My advice is counter to a lot of the conventional advice. I work in my PJs for the morning and shower at lunch and then get dressed for the afternoon. It helps make the afternoon feel more productive.

    3. Try listening to the radio ( if it’s distracting put it in another room). It can give you the feeling of people around you.

    4. I exercise every morning (and noticed I get seriously crabby if I don’t! I do a beachbody video with a crowd of others in the background – they count as people, right?), have a stupid text thread going with some girlfriends, my mom is posting every funny meme out there about TP on FB, hanging out here, and loving on my pets. And I keep the tv on ALL DAY. Friends and HGTV make good background noise. I can’t stand silence. (If I’m writing, I’ll mute it for a bit, but sustained silence causes dramatic declines in my mental health.)

    5. I have been dressing in Lycra and then using my lunch break to do an 18 minute barre workout from Down Dog and hop in the shower, putting real clothes on for the afternoon.

  13. Don’t mind me, I’m just over here getting miffed that the Washington Post has nothing better to do than to write about how Deborah Birx dresses, lending ‘warmth’ to the WH task force. Ugh.

    4. The Washington Post has needed to ditch their fashion writer for years. It’s not her fault she has a stupid beat, I guess, but there’s just no world in which it is not bad to have a reporter assigned to cover the fashion of women leaders in the capital. Right now a million times so.

    5. That’s not exactly fair, I just went to their site and couldn’t even see the article until I scrolled way down. The main news takes up the entire first screen. I’m not saying the snark isn’t warranted, but it’s not like they pulled their lead science writer off to write about clothing. It’s written by a Pulitzer-prize-winning fashion critic.

      1. I don’t care if it’s written by a literature Nobel laureate. I also don’t care that the same writer does regularly comment on the outfit or appearance of male public figures, including presidential candidates lately. I care that we are perpetuating sexist stereotypes, right there in the teaser.
        The article was placed fairly high up when I checked, but these sites are both dynamic and personalized.

    6. I think that’s great. I am trying to figure out how to avoid COVID-19 news. I am already under a stay at home order and I don’t really care what else is happening with the disease unless we find a cure or a vaccine. I wish I could just run a filter and see only non-COVID articles.

  14. Vent on the trend of homemade masks: these are not protective! I see all these people all over the internet getting excited about their ability to help by making masks but they offer laughably terrible protection. I’m angry that the public is tacitly accepting the idea of arming our medical practitioners with knives for a gun fight. Everyone sewing these should instead by writing letters, calling representatives to petition for use of the Defense Production Act to actually produce the equipment nurses and docs need to do their job and protect us. We wouldn’t send firefighters into a burning house without protection, why is there public acceptance that this is just par for the course for medical professionals?

    1. There isn’t. No one thinks this is a great option. People are trying to do what they can, and my local hospital is actively encouraging it.

    2. Homemade masks may make a marginal impact on your risk of getting the virus. It’s better than absolutely nothing. Why get mad at people who are trying to help any way they can, even if they can’t make an N95 compliant mask in their basement or get Mitch f*cking McConnell to do anything useful?

    4. Many medical facilities are expressly asking volunteers to make these masks for them and providing detailed instructions including patterns. So its great you think that they’re dumb but the powers that be at many hospitals recognize that they are better than nothing and thus requesting them.

    5. The Defense Production Act about making masks IS in the bill that they’re working on right now. Final text should be out momentarily.

      Signed,
      Lobbyist who’s read every dang draft for the past 5 days

      1. Thank you.

        And even when you implement a law and throw money at it, things do not happen immediately. They may happen faster, but they do not happen *immediately*. You can’t sign a law, get money, and then have masks in your hands the next day. That’s not how manufacturing works.

    6. My sister is an ICU RN in Boston in a hospital fielding many COVID cases. She said the homemade masks are being worn under N95 masks, allowing them to reuse the otherwise single-use N95 masks. Layer homemade mask under N95, and toss homemade after a patient interaction. There is 100% a use for them. She said not all hospitals/groups have come around to them or admitted the need for them yet, but there is a use.

    7. Seconded. I love watching Dr. Mama Jones on Youtube and she made an excellent point. We would never ask police to put on a few extra t-shirts if we were out of bulletproof vests. Why are we asking medical professionals to take this risk?

      BTW- I really recommend her channel if you’re looking for something to watch. She is an OB/GYN who works and has 4 children. Somehow she manages to find the time to film successful Youtube videos as well.

      1. What even? Police go into danger without bullet proof vests all the time. They don’t stop to put them on everytime a traffic stop goes bad.

        1. What? No, most police wear their bullet proof vest 100% of the time that they are on duty. It goes under their clothes. You don’t know it is on unless you look closely. They generally only wear them over their clothes in movies or in high risk situations where they are wearing heavier armor.

        2. Police in my community wear their bulletproof vests all the time. It is worn under their uniform and you don’t necessarily notice.

          The point, however, that is to stop asking medical workers to take on needless risk. Do what it takes to get the proper masks.

      1. But why do you think it’s a choice between no mask and homemade one? It should be a choice between going into the hospital to work with proper protective equipment and staying home if there is not proper protective equipment. Why are nurses and doctors being treated as sacrificial lambs? Especially horribly when you consider that they are not getting hazard pay and most hospitals are mandating that they take unpaid leave if they get sick during the crisis.

        1. No one is debating that it shouldn’t be the fact, but the fact is medical professionals ARE having to make that choice.

    9. The health system I work for has been working with the local crafting community to get masks made that provide more protection. A friend who is a seamster and does his own dyeing has been producing salt-impregnated fabric that kills the virus in contact that is then given to professional tailors & seamstresses to turn into masks. My previous employer has professional sewers and quilters turning surgical drapes into masks that fit over an N95 respirator to protect it from soiling, which allows it a longer lifespan.

      Your average sew-on-button home crafter won’t produce what is needed, but there is value in the effort. It can’t replace real PPE, but it may help save lives while the stock is being replenished.

    10. Some NYC businesses are required to have patrons wear masks (dry cleaners) and gloves. I feel like this is a major misuse of limited PPE, so I will be looking into homemade ones. (And wearing driving vintage driving gloves).

    11. I spent the entire weekend sewing masks when the call went out. I have no idea if they really help but the local hospital asked and I can sew. Honestly, it felt really good to be able to do something helpful. I plan to spend this weekend sewing more, since they asked me for any more I can make.

      For what it is worth, they asked for two sizes — one is worn under the n95 mask and one is worn over it. They replace the one worn over it for every patient. I was told that they like the fabric masks for this because they are made with multiple layers of 100% cotton, can be sanitized, and can be reused. This is obviously not ideal or the way it should be but if this is all we have, then why not try to help…

  15. I am in government (not US), so obviously a crazy time for me. My friend in industry keeps trying to commiserate and it’s just pissing me off that friend keeps trying to liken our experiences. Friends job is not anywhere near similar to mine and it feels like they’re both inflating their own job and discrediting mine. That said I’m obviously going to be pleasant to friend as I know they’re just trying to bond, but I needed to vent somewhere.

  16. My bosses’ latest brilliant idea – drive through closings! Also known as me, meeting strangers in a parking lot where no one could hear me scream if they turn out to be creeps that want to skin me and turn me into a human skin suit (it puts the lotion on its skin…)

    1. I’m really not trying to be cavalier when I say this because I know people need their jobs, but say no to this! I think you have some leverage here – it sounds from your post on Monday like they really need you, as you’re the only person in your entire office who is coming into the office, and since they really need you, you might have the leverage to push back on this. This is absolutely ridiculous for them to even ask of you!

      1. Oh yeah, I flat out said that they were welcome to do this but I was drawing the line at meeting strangers in parking lots. I’m just baffled that purportedly intelligent people thought that this would be a good idea. Men really have absolutely no clue what the day to day reality of being a woman is. I would rather get coronavirus in a conference room than risk getting kidnapped in a parking lot

        1. Ok good! I’m so glad you said no. That is one of the more ridiculous things I’ve heard an employer ask so far! I join in your utter bafflement, though!

    3. I’m a little baffled by this- I’m an attorney in real estate, although practice solely commercial and am in biglaw. We never have in person closings. We send the signature pages to the client, they sign/notarize, then send back to us. We then send the original wet-inks to the title company/lender as appropriate. No in-person anything required. If a notary is an issue, UPS is notarizing. Also, you can look into video notarization, where you watch the client sign via video- check your state notary laws on this one.

      I find a lot of small shops are stuck on the in person closing model, but I’ve been practicing since 2011 and have only been to a handful of closings in person. Trust me, it’s not necessary.

      2. We do a mix of commercial and residential. I am our firms in house title company. It’s the residential that are causing the most issues. We’re trying to get video notarization up and running, but it wasn’t legal in our state until it was an emergency measure when they closed courthouses to the public. So we’re less than 2 weeks into this and no one really knows how to handle it

  17. Yep. Vanderbilt University Medical Center, has this:
    “Vanderbilt University Medical Center has an adequate supply of personal protective equipment (PPE) currently on hand to protect its employees and patients from COVID-19. However, the global supply for this equipment continues to be uncertain and we are actively taking steps to secure more supplies.

    Many individuals, groups and businesses from the community have generously offered to help assist in our preparedness efforts by sewing cloth masks. While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention does not suggest cloth material as a first-line defense against the coronavirus causing COVID-19, cloth masks work well for other conditions and can help conserve precious reserves of N-95 respirator masks.

    If you would like to donate cloth masks to Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt, Vanderbilt University Adult Hospital or Vanderbilt Wilson County Hospital, please emailvolunteer.services@vumc.org.

    Hand-sewn masks can be dropped off between 9 am-3 pm. in a plastic bin under the portico at Entrance A, Vanderbilt One Hundred Oaks. This entrance is around the back of One Hundred Oaks, on the end of the mall nearest the movie theater. See map and directions here.

    A recommended sewing pattern, along with suggested cloth materials, can be found below. Note versions with and without elastic (because apparently “elastic is the new toilet paper” and in short supply!).

    Your efforts will help make a difference.”

  18. They just announced that my company will have a layoff. Not this week, since they still have to make a lot of decisions, but I’m bracing for impact because it’ll likely be within the next couple weeks or so. My department will no doubt be affected because our main function has been paused, and I’m so new, it would be a miracle if I didn’t get laid off. I know I have savings, I may get some severance (but probably not a lot), I’m sure I’d be eligible for unemployment since my state is waiving a lot of the usual requirements, but it still makes me anxious knowing my income and health insurance will likely get cut off, and I may be in for a longer-than-usual period between jobs since a lot of companies in my area are in the same boat.

    To top it off, my boyfriend is also at risk for being let go at work because his team might need to cut someone to stay cost-neutral. He earns more than I do and it feels like we’d be seriously forked if we’re both jobless, although he stands a better chance of finding a new job quickly because his skillset is more in-demand.

    It just feels like everything is falling apart.

  19. Any insurance defense lawyers on here? I was still in college during the ’08 recession so I have no idea how a downturn affects this specific practice area. I work at national ID firm with thousands of lawyers, for reference.

    1. I am in Canada so it is a slightly different system but our area is one of the ones often seen to be, if not recession-proof, at least, recession-resistant. In times of economic difficulty, people will be trying any means possible to obtain funds, so just be prepared for a greater than usual number of nuisance-level suits in personal injury. We came through 2008 just fine, although as I say, Canada was not quite as devastated as the US at that time.

    2. I just left a general commercial litigation practice to start doing insurance coverage. I don’t know about insurance defense generally, but insurance coverage work is expected to boom after this due to a large number of anticipated business interruption claims which are being denied by insurers.

    3. The downturn won’t really impact insurance defense litigation. People will still sue each other. Bonus points if you can defend personal injury cases. Auto accidents may not be exciting, but they are recession proof. Professional liability defense is also a good one.

      And insurance coverage? We are going to be litigating whether this virus meets the definition of an act of God for the next decade.

  20. An upside to WFH: I painted my nails during my lunch break. My nails are typically painted … never.

    2. Yes AND no one will care if/when they chip! I mean, you might, but your coworkers won’t notice unless you talk with your hands a lot on virtual meetings.

    3. I’ve been taking almost-daily pics of my deteriorating gel manicure to share with my sisters. My one sister has a hilarious set of grown-out acrylics going.

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