ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 236 Comments

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Long-Sleeve Stretch-Ponte Dress

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A woman wearing a purple dress, necklace, and silver high-heel sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Sometimes when I find an article of clothing that looks good, feels good, and fills a need in my wardrobe, I buy it in every color available. This dress from Jessica London looks like it could be one of those dresses. Versatile, washable, and available in five great colors? Sign me up.

The pictured dark-berry color caught my eye, but I could absolutely see myself wearing the dark green and navy with some regularity. 

The dress is $87.99 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 12-28.

Sales of note for 5/8:

  • Nordstrom – Savings event – up to 25% off! Good deals on Veronica Beard, Vince, Reiss (esp. coats), and Boss, as well as Wit & Wisdom and NYDJ
  • Ann Taylor – Mother's Day Event: 40% off your purchase. Readers love this popover blouse, and their suiting is also in the sale.
  • Boden – 15% off new styles with code
  • Express – $39+ summer styles + 25% off everything else
  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off swim, dresses, and more
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything, and extra 50% off clearance
  • Lands' End – 50% off sitewide — lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
  • Lo & Sons – Mother's Day Sale: Up to 40% off — reader favorites include this laptop tote, this backpack, and this crossbody
  • Loft – 50% off your purchase + free shipping, plus 2 for $28 tanks and tees
  • MAC – Enjoy 30% off lip products and receive a 4-piece Mother's Day gift with $90
  • M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
  • Ruti – Take $55 off your purchase with code 55ONUS
  • Sephora – Free same-day delivery for Mother's Day with code
  • Talbots – 50% off wear-now styles (5/8 only)
  • The Outnet – Extra 30% off select styles, including Veronica Beard, Victoria Beckham, and Marni.
  • TOCCIN – Use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!
  • Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!

236 Comments

  1. Has anyone found any non-knit fabric work dresses with sleeves, a bit of a defined waist, and a non-clingy skirt that is at least knee length (but not a maxi dress)? If so, can you post links?

    I have a bit of a tummy, to the point where I need fabric that won’t cling at all and a bit of fullness (but not prairie-dress-type fullness). Also, a bit of a waist or waist shaping or else I look blocky or like Grimmace. It’s been a struggle. A lot of time, there is some visible tension in the tummy area but if I size up, I’m left with a sack that the alterations people tell me will be expensive to fix (like if there is a size zipper) or wreck some detailing or patterns.

    1. I’d look at a department store. I’ve got similar middle aged tummy issues and I need a structured fabric that is cut in more of a true sheath or a high waisted a-line. I’d look at Hobbs, Tahari, and Misook. Tuckernuck’s in house brands are also good options (Pomander Place, Tuckernuck, and Hyancith House).
      I need to see the clothes/buy in person but Ann Taylor/Loft are both much better than they used to be.

    2. Coming here to plug the good old fashioned slip. I have some dresses that are a bit more clingy than I’d like, and I’ve found wearing a slip under them helps tremendously. Conscious that as cold weather approaches, I may need to deal with static issues between wearing tights, then a slip, then a dress, but it has put some workhorse dresses back into my rotation that I had given up on.

    3. I haven’t bought any dresses this season, but if you trust your own sense of taste (you’ll need it) and are willing to wear synthetics, sometimes I’ve had luck looking at cheaper department stores. Though right this moment, I see a lot of knits since it’s sweater dress season.

    4. You will need to size up and choose a dress without a side zipper. Non-stretch fabrics are going to pull if you don’t have enough room in the abdomen. Anything with a back zipper or front zipper/buttons should be alterable.

    6. The Anthropologie Tobie shirtdress. Comes in a bunch of colors and fabrics. One of the only shirtdresses with buttons that I’ve found that doesn’t strain at the bust.

  2. Anyone have experience with the quality of housewares from Zara Home? I’m eyeing a lamp from there. Overall price looks good but a return would be a hassle.

      1. Interesting, thank you. Price is about double the price of Target Threshold so maybe I skip it.

      2. I disagree, i think it’s much better quality. It’s actually shockingly good for Zara.

    2. Similar to H&M homewares. Some is good and some a little rough. I would take my chances with a lamp.

  3. Gift Guide. Let’s start our own gift guide that’s honest because no one is earning money here.
    What are the best things or experiences that you have bought or been given in the last two-ish years? Links welcome if available. And mundane stuff like a pair of jeans that fit perfectly also are welcome. I’m looking both for things that I could gift myself and anyone else in my life.

    1. Sort of how the best time to plant a tree is 5 years ago and the next best time is now, if there are special people in your life, figure out when the hour before sunset is and go outside and take maybe half an hour’s worth of pictures in a pretty place. Wear simple solid color clothes that reflect you. Share them with your loved ones, particularly any old-time friends and older or distant relatives. It’s time that’s never wasted. Capture your moments.

    2. these may not be a big deal to others…they were for me

      from me: housekeeper service bi-weekly

      to me: surprise birthday brownie complete with candle from local vegan shop

    3. Lego flower arrangement (lots of price points)
      Bombas compression socks for travel (fwiw, I don’t like the ankle socks, but love these)
      Dorsey white sapphire bracelet (looks substantial and sparkly IRL)

      Handmade- fresh handwritten copies of my fave childhood recipes

      1. For my bridal shower (18+ years ago now) my cousins dug through their family photos and made copies of a ton of photos I hadn’t seen or that my parents didn’t have. It was (and is) hands down my favorite gift from my shower. Sadly we don’t have written versions of most of my family recipes, otherwise I’d love a recipe book!

        1. I digitized our family videos on VHS for Mother’s Day last year and it was a big hit.

          1. Did you use a specific service for this. My family has TONS of vhs and we would like to do this but I’m worried about shipping them off somewhere…

          2. My public library had the equipment! They gave me a brief tutorial and then I did it. Time-consuming, but easy.

          3. Just borrowed from a neighbor the device that is supposed to help me transfer VHS tapes onto a DVD. Hoping to get to it next week. Fingers crossed this works!

      2. Sometime during her 80s, my grandmother wrote down her favorite recipes and things she had cooked for me over the years and assembled a book. After my mother’s death, I also received one of her two file card, recipe boxes. If there were a fire or a flood, these would go with me!

      3. I bet you could frame the handwritten copies of the recipes to hang in the kitchen. That is “word art” I could get in to!

    4. My teens are easy, they want clothing, gift cards/cash to use when they’re out, books, and upgrades on tech (mostly headphones this year). My husband gets stuff for his hobby and my parents get consumables. The biggest hits I’ve sent my parents have been stuff from NYC that they can’t get where they live – Zabars/Russ and Daughters, or things like babkas/black and white cookies. The Williams Sonoma frozen pastries delivered monthly have also been huge hits.
      I feel very millenial mom saying this but I asked for a new Kindle, and new athleisure sets (Vuori or Varley) this year. I am looking forward to being slightly more ‘modern’ on the weekends vs. the sweats/workout clothes I’ve had for 10+ years.

    5. I use drugstore makeup for the most part, so it’s always a really nice gift to get one thing (I like blush and lipstick, but that’s what I wear) that is the next tier up from drugstore.

      I adore really fuzzy socks and nice loungewear/pajamas is always a treat.

      More expensive: museum memberships are great.

      1. Wow – this hair clip is nice and is identical to the fancy French one I bought after recs here. And this one is 1/3rd the price!

    7. We get dad kitchen tools for Christmas – Egg poacher (they’re not “real” poached eggs, they’re just steamed in metal cups, but he hates the correct method) and electric griddle are the hits. He also loves the mandolin slicer (though he doesn’t use the cut proof glove we got him to use with it).

    8. The best 50 bucks I’ve spent this year – an international membership for the Queen’s Public Library. My son is a voracious audiobook kid, I read 120+ books a year and it would be worth it at 3x the price.

      What I’m looking for is a flask that is thin and a bit shorter, and would fit in the outer pocket of a Fjallraven type rucksack.

      2. Comment with links in mod but my shorter flask quest resulted in a Yeti kids flask. I bought an additional lid for using with tea and coffee (the hotshot cap)

        1. wait this puzzles me. Aren’t your libraries part of a larger system? Every town I’ve lived in (in the Northeast) has been part of a consortium with usually ~30ish nearby libraries so you get access via interlibrary loan to every book in any of those libraries, but delivered/returned to your local one. Is this not common? I’d have to drive ~90 minutes + to get to a library that had a different pool of books to pull from

          2. Yes, my library is part of a larger system but it doesn’t buy every book I want to read. Previously, I would buy those books from bookstores instead. I still support local bookstores, but by having memberships at multiple libraries, I can also access materials my current library may not have and support other libraries, including my own. It’s just another way to support libraries vs major chains.

        2. This is amazing – thank you! I am a voracious consumer of audiobooks and have wished I could access other libraries so I could get away from Audible. This list is a big help.

          1. Spotify has lots of audiobooks too! If you’re already paying for that service, take a look.

      4. Tell me more about this Queen’s Public Library – does it give you access to all all types of audiobooks? Fiction?

        2. Yes, it’s everything in their regular library collection — audiobooks and ebooks. You just need a Libby account.

    9. My kids are in their late teens/early 20s now and some of their favorite gifts in the past few years have been tickets to events, either a concert or an auto race or something else that they really wanted to experience. Several of these have involved travel, so they also became the basis of our family trip that year. It’s resulted in great family memories.

    10. This year I’m asking for Blundstones and a refill of my favorite perfume.

      In past years, I’ve loved (and still wear constantly!) a gold bracelet, diamond necklace, wine-colored purse from Madewell, cute jacket from Boden, black high-top converse, UGGs. I usually ask for high-quality accessories or outerwear. My husband and mom are excellent gift-givers and I am really lucky to have them.

      My husband is hard to shop for, but last year I got him a vintage French film poster, custom framed, and that was a hit! I usually get my mom something pretty for her house.

    11. It is mundane but something easy I really like for gifting, beeswax candles. I’m sensitive to fragrances, so this is basically the only type of candle I actually find myself using. It’s also a positive that they burn cleaner than any soy candle I’ve used.
      I’m actually eyeing up buying some tapers and then asking for vintage candle stick holders for Christmas.
      I’m sure people can find someone local to them who makes candles but the one I buy because she is local to me is Slow Burn: https://www.slowburncandles.com/

    12. I bought my dad a label maker (Brother P-Touch) a number of years ago as a last minute gift addition and it was a big hit. Easily available at Amazon, Staples, etc. for less than $50.

      1. My ex H got me one for my birthday (on my request) about 17 years ago or so and I still use it!! Second best thing he ever gave me, after my kid.

    13. Given: We unpacked moving boxes for our friends while they were out of town. They bought a new house and were expecting a baby.

      Received: Gift certificate for our local theater. It prompted us to check out new shows and events and go on date nights.

    14. Shower speaker. Specifically the INSMY one from the river store. Our shower is enclosed so to be able to hear anything outside the shower requires the volume being super high.

    15. Great things to give: flexible narrow spatula from sur la table which is exactly what I need when scraping a jar or similar. AirPods. A friendship bracelet making kit.

      Great things I’ve loved: a sprints towel that goes over the front seat of my car for after runs or workouts. Yes, a normal towel works but it falls down and this is exactly what I needed. Fancy running socks (Balega ultralight) that I wouldn’t buy myself but adore. Small gold Huggie style hoops that I end up wearing like 90% of the time.

      1. thank you so much for alerting me to the existence of sprint towels, it just went on my wish list! Cycling in the summer corn sweat dome was brutal this year and yes, normal towels just fall down.

        1. YES. Like, such a life upgrade. If it’s over 75 degrees, I really don’t want to be fighting with the beach towel sliding down on my drivers seat while I go for my ‘treat yo self’ post run fountain Diet Coke or iced coffee.

          Their hats are great too.

    16. Given and Received:

      Expensive: weekend in NYC with my husband, ditto Chicago, Velotric e-bike as a partial car replacement, elfa closets, getting a collection of repro vintage cycling posters framed, Diamond Glow treatments at my medi-spa, weekend in a cabin in Hocking Hills Ohio for Thanksgiving

      In the mid to low hundreds: ProViz cycling/running jacket (makes a huge difference at night), Varley tops (love them!), instant pot air fryer, RM Williams Chelsea boots, Vuori men’s wear for husband and son (Vuori has gone beyond sweats for men), fancy Alessi Moka pot for coffee, Alessi corkscrew, tickets to the symphony, Thule bike gear duffel

      High end of under $100: Dr Vranges diffuser scents, bath gel and body lotion from Officina Profumo-Farmaceutica di Santa Maria Novella (tariffs might hike these higher), Yosukata pre seasoned carbon wok, Maison de Sabre bag charm AirTag holders, Rest is History club membership

      Under $50: Falke socks (I can’t go back to cheap socks now ), Ridge Supply cycling socks (I wear them for other things), Parcelona yoga hair clips, Zojirushi coffee mugs, Olfa utility knife (best stocking stuffer ever), Lamb’s London: A Guide to the City of Mick Herron’s Slow Horses map, ThruNite LED Flashlight Archer (very popular stocking stuffer), AirTags, Fly by Jing Zhong sauce, Penzey spices, fancy cooking salts, Neutrogena Hydro Boost Tinted Lip Oil, Alessi Diabolix bottle opener

    17. Nespresso pods
      Williams Sonoma tins of peppermint bark
      King Arthur baking mixes
      LL Bean slippers
      Mariage Freres or Fortnum Mason tea
      anything by Wilkins & Sons: jams, mustards, sauces

    18. I personally really like gift cards to use like spa gift certificates or a gift card to the garden/plant vendors I like. I also love the ll bean slippers and the typical things like an iPad.

    19. I love gift guides. Mine, in no particular order:

      1. Victorinox Fish Spatula with wooden handle. Worth the money. I do not use any other spatula now for any purpose. Makes a great gift, with or without a cookbook.
      2. Palais des Thes advent tea calendar. Also, any of their tea.
      3. Kneipp bath salts and bubble baths.
      4. Caudalie Vinotherapist Hand Cream.
      5. Jo Malone Orange Blossom perfume
      6. Thymes fir-scented candle
      7. Smartwool or cashmere socks
      8. These buckwheat lavender neck/back wraps they sell at the Union Square holiday market that you can microwave and put on any sore muscles that stay warm for 20-30 minutes.
      9. Also, the kid version, available online – “Warmies,” which is a stuffed animal of your choice that you can microwave and will stay warm/smell cozy. Great for coughs to keep on your chest or just a good winter cuddle.
      10. Zojirushi coffee thermos. I’ve left this thing in a cold car for a day of skiing and it was still warm at sunset for the ride home.

    20. My absolute favorite things in the last couple of years
      – Overland Sheepskin Company slippers – I prefer a soft sole slipper, but all I can find lately have outdoor soles. Overland still makes soft ones in two styles and they are perfect.
      – Falke Softmerino knee-high socks – these are relatively thin, but have two layers: cotton on the inside and merino on the outside. Warm, soft, and come in shoe sizes, so the fit is amazing.
      – Necessaire Hand Retinol – I was noticing wrinkles on my hands, and this has helped immensely. It also softens my cuticles and has made my nails smoother and stronger.

  4. I’m wearing a navy blue dress and oxblood shoes to my firm’s holiday party – co**tail dress code, Canada in December so I need tights. What is the right color of tights for this? Navy blue in dressy contexts always trips me up somehow. Any specific tight recommendations? I’m a size 8 and mostly wear pants these days.

      1. 100% have done this with this colour combo or just nude hosiery which I know are extremely unpopular here but I still wear (also in a cold part of Canada).

    2. Not intuitive but I would wear black tights. Shades of navy vary wildly, and it’s difficult to match navy pieces that aren’t meant to match. A navy dress with a slight purple hue and navy tights with a slight teal hue will clash even if on their own they both look like plain navy.

      If you don’t want to wear black tights, try charcoal or a medium gray.

      1. I agree with you on black tights with navy looking intentional — for day, with black shoes. For a dressy party, with oxblood shoes, sorry no.

      2. Yeah, I agree on navy being almost impossible to match, so I’d do black tights with black shoes, especially if it’s a lighter navy. But with oxblood shoes, I’d probably do charcoal tights.

    4. I’d rethink the look, that’s a very dated color combo and I cannot imagine any color tights that would look right. Maybe sheer black hose but even then, no, not with the shoes. If you can’t redo the whole thing, do black shoes and black tights.

      1. +1

        At least it would give the column of color look and the shear quality would be more forgiving if the color match isn’t perfect.

    7. Sheer nude, in evening sheerness, not what you would wear for day. I like the nudes that glisten a little for evening

  5. Does anyone know if group “independent living” arrangements are a thing? It’s usually single adults or couples, but my MIL and both SILs are declining to the point where it would be nice to be in something like a 3BR apartment together that is fitted out for older adults with mobility issues and could have some services on-site. MIL might need more care sooner, but the younger SIL will be 55 soon and maybe just a “55 or better” type place? IDK how families handle this where no one has kids and everyone lives long enough to decline. It’s getting to where the two who share a 2-story house can’t maintain it and the other one is isn’t doing much better in a patio home (and has no one who can easily check in on her). IDK what modern families do. We aren’t local and they don’t want to move closer to us. I feel like they have been lucky so far with no catastrophes, but they can’t use a ladder to change a light bulb, so an easy household task could go sideways quickly.

      1. I don’t get what’s wrong with the question? Seems like 55 and up communities were created with 55 year olds in mind.

      2. Sounds like the people in question, at least the younger ones, must have some disabilities.

      3. I used to think that everything above 80 was a crapshoot, but if you have a serious health situation and any co-morbidities, people north of 50 can have very impaired lives, from an “activities of daily living” perspective.

        E.g., morbid obesity, sleep apnea, diabetes that isn’t well-controlled, CKD, mobility issues. People can’t go out easily, so they buy shelf-stable foods that are high in sodium and low in everything else, which isn’t good for CKD, which makes them feel worse and be in worse health, but they aren’t mobile and can’t get out and . . . rinse, repeat

          1. To me this appeared to be just talking about why so many people are already significantly disabled by their 50s.

        2. I beg you, BEG YOU, to let go of these fixations. You don’t have CKD! A relative does! You don’t need to research the sh1t out of it. I’m genuinely sorry for your family stresses and I promise you they will become easier to navigate if you treat yourself first. Everyone always says this to you and you always ignore it but come back with a slightly rephrased version the next week.

          1. I don’t have CKD, but there’s a lot of advocacy and awareness needed around it. It’s 2025 and we still don’t have good product labeling for complying with restricted diets. So I’d appreciate it if people did think and care more about the challenges of CKD and of caretaking.

      4. I’m in my 40s, and I don’t think it’s too early to think about how you’ll age into your house. My husband has had a bad back since his 20s, which makes some house and yard work hard. Our house is 3 floors plus basement, with steep stairs, and the bedrooms and full bath are only on the second floor which isn’t great if you have an injury or get sick. A good friend my age has cancer and has spent the last year struggling to get in and out of her second floor apartment because she can’t easily go up and down stairs and I know other people that had to move when they got cancer in their 50s. We live in an area with a lot of older housing that just isn’t very accessible, so it’s definitely worth considering.

        1. That’s fine for you to personally think about but treating relatives that way is just mind blowing. And all your examples are exceptions, not typical circumstances.

          1. Maybe you should tell us the nature of your disagreement here instead of making vague, scold-y comments?

          2. I guess if you know enough people, you know the typicals and the outliers.

            I guess another question to ask is who who has watched a solo loved one decline eventually made a welfare check call to the loved one’s local police that ended with the loved one found deceased. Because I can see that happening to three different households among the group of people I know. Everyone else has at least some people locally to whom they’d be noted as missing (or found ailing but likely still alive). But DH has to go stay with his mom any time my SIL takes a vacation or a work trip or visits her kid in college.

          3. Consider the possibility that OP has some reason to consider this for her 55 year old SIL. She did note that SIL was “declining.” Get a grip.

        2. Watching the slow-moving train wreck that is my in-laws’ “aging in place” situation, I am 100% thinking about how to age in my house and/or where I could move to make it easier on my own kids. I think of it as being considerate.

      5. I think the almost-55 SIL is relevant in that she & MIL are currently living together. So as a unit, they now qualify for 55+ apartments, and OP is wondering if that’s a good fit.

      6. Stop. This is a very reasonable question to ask. My aunts and uncles are in the 55-65 category and in TERRIBLE physical shape. It happens.

        1. +1 – my mom injured herself further while trying to recover at home from a hip replacement. My parents refuse to move into a disability friendly home (despite my mom barely being mobile). The increasing cycle of falls/hospitalizations/doctors visits is driving my entire family nuts because so much of it is self-inflicted. I’d be over the moon happy if they had agreed to go to an age in place type of apartment 10 years ago.

        2. Especially if they worked in the trades or any physically demanding jobs. Not everyone had/has an office job.

          1. Yes. My grandmother basically had no cartilage left in her joints at this age.

            Hopefully that’s more treatable now, but osteoporosis is pretty hard to control still.

          3. Sorry, yes, grandma had osteoarthritis. Osteoporosis is what has really limited mobility for some of my younger aunts.

        3. I have a cousin in a similar situation. She has had terrible luck in the health department.

      7. My mom was absolutely in need of this at 55. I hope not to be. So please don’t assume everyone is at the same place based on age.

    2. My parents live in an independent living community, and have a two bedroom apartment. It’s very much like any other two bedroom apartment. I don’t see why two related but not married people couldn’t live there. You could look for a 3 bedroom one. Maybe this is a good use for “a place for mom”, which will help find options that meet your particular situation.

      Keep in mind that real independent senior living communities are VERY expensive. For three people, it might make more sense to find an apartment and have them pay for helpers as needed, especially if they are still able to cook, bathe, dress, etc.

      1. I agree with this, including that you should price out whether independent living is better or worse financially than an over-55 apartment with some help. I have been looking around at progressive care places because my mom needs a different place and I think I’ve seen some with 3 bedrooms. Many of them also have standalone cottages or patio homes where they provide maintenance, etc. and you can opt into a meal plan in the main building if you want one.

    3. My parents lived in an Independent Living community for several years. It was stand alone homes with 1-3 bedrooms. Residents lease the home and the community provides maintenance in the interior and exterior, bi-monthly cleaning, food services if desired and every activity you can imagine (movie nights, bridge, mahjong, crafting, etc in a club house). They also had shuttle services to the grocery store a few times a week plus doctor appointment drop offs/pick ups. If they needed specific care, like a home health aide, family would have to arrange it.

      Price wise, for a 2 bedroom, 1 meal per day situation for my folks, it was under $5K per month, in western NC.

      1. I’m in WNC — can you share the community name? I might need to check out for local-ish family.

      2. You could definitely just get a 3-bedroom apartment plus meal delivery and housekeeping for much less than $5K/month in my MCOL SEUS area. Transportation would be the only real difficulty if they don’t drive. Rideshare is not really a thing here.

        1. I get that meal delivery exists, but I cannot imagine how unhealthy I’d be if I were having 2 restaurant meals a day (assuming I can eat a healthy-ish breakfast easily without a lot of fuss or cooking). There is a lot of fat (to make them delicious) and a lot of calories and not enough vegetables (fries don’t count) and the portions are inevitably too large. Not to mention too much salt, which is close to toxic for people needing to watch their salt, particularly if they have CKD.
          Has anyone done this with a relative and had it go OK? I am really suspicious it would be a lot of 5 Guys and Chic-Fil-A and not a lot of healthy choices.

          3. How much food does MOW give in a week?

            I tried to sign up my non-cooking dad who really needed to stop driving. It took a month to get forms from the county health department. He also would have needed a note from his doctor saying that he “needed” this. In that intervening month, he had a health crisis that I’m sure lack of healthy food brought on and went to the ER with stroke symptoms and from there to rehab. IDK if it was feasible, but the delays really show how the system doesn’t really work as advertised. It was also not clear if it was only a few days a week or 5 days a week or what, and when you live out in the country, IDK how that actually would have worked. We are all grasping at straws.

          4. I assume they mean something more like Thistle, which is healthier than I eat on a daily basis!

          5. My mom had knee surgery in Dallas and I ordered them some Front Porch Pantry meals. She loved it and is a relatively healthy eater, though being close to 80 she definitely likes processed stuff more than I do.

            Strangely enough, I tried to find something similar in Orange County CA and struck out completely. It was either heavy restaurant food or meal prep weight loss stuff.

    4. My grandmother and her sister were able to get studio apartments next to each other in an independent living building, which they both loved. The building also a nursing home, so when her sister moved to the nursing home she was able to regularly visit until she moved there herself.

      I’m also curious about the 55 thing.

    5. I know people who’ve done this informally – moved into an apartment (doesn’t even have to be a specifically 55+ community, if what they really want is “someone else to take care of the roof”); and hired someone to come in eg. 2x a week and clean/prep some meals. It can work if the level of support you need is stuff that you might reasonably outsource as eg. a young healthy person with an all-consuming job might also choose to outsource. Sometimes you can find a tech solution to a specific problem – like, could they use one of those extendable gripper things to change lightbulbs without a ladder?; and some people cobble together a solution like occasionally paying a handyman to come over and do a bunch of lightbulbs all at once. Or you get lamps.

      But realistically, I don’t think you’re missing anything, there’s no magical solution people have that involves no tradeoffs. Some people decide that staying in their home is most important to them and they’re going to climb the ladders anyway; some people find avoiding injury is more important and they’re willing to move to a maintained apartment earlier; some people prioritize staying in their locality and are ok with going to a senior living environment in order to stay local, and some people would rather live independently as long as possible, and move nearer to family/into an easy-to-upkeep condo to achieve that. And sometimes, people don’t get the aging/senior life they’d dreamed of and wanted and worked hard to have. Life is like that.

    6. My understanding is that the “55+ and older” threshold is for younger wives accompanying their early 70s husbands, not because anyone seriously expect a 55 year old to need an independent living situation.

      Modern families give competent adults the benefit of doubt when it comes to their living arrangements. Your MIL can hire someone to help her do routine maintenance for a pittance compared to what these places cost.

      2. My understanding is that the 55+ thing is really a way to get around family-status anti-discrimination laws that lobbyists pushed hard for

        An apartment complex advertised as “55+” with no other information is…just apartments, same as you’d rent anywhere else. It sounds like you’re looking for something with a little more baked-in support

        1. This is generally not correct. Well managed 55+ communities that are purpose built (vs just having an age restriction imposed after it’s been open for decades) are heavily programmed and over amenitized.

      3. I am in my late 40s, and many of my friends are musing about moving to maintenance-free 55+ communities as soon as they are old enough and the kids are out of the house. Their husbands are definitely not 70.

        Good for them, not for me.

    7. You have got to stop coming here with your plans for what you are going to do with independent adults – there have been variations on this question for literally years now. Enough. I know this is very anxiety producing for you but you have got to take a step back. Let people live their lives. You are not responsible for your sister-in-law’s retirement.

      1. Not all adults are all that independent, and some lose independence as they age. If your family is full of people who make all their own decisions, please appreciate it!

        1. And yet none of the people in OP’s story are likely to have given her power of attorney.

          1. Yes and none of my family members have given me power of attorney either. But they absolutely have needed and benefited from help with places to live, finding relevant medical specialists and following up on appts, they’re not all doing well on their own!

          2. Understood – I also provide elder care for someone with advanced dementia and am aware of what it entails. You still don’t get to make decisions for your in-laws when they haven’t asked or encouraged you. This is simply anxiety poster for the 800th time, always complaining that there’s no handbook and the system puts it all on individuals to navigate.

      3. Anon at 11:14. We are professional women on here with children and aging parents. THIS IS THE EXACT PLACE TO COME FOR ADVICE AND COMMISERATION IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE MEAN GIRLS. My brother is 57 with schizoaffective disorder, COPD, morbid obesity and diabetes. My SIL is not well and living off her pulty social security while caring for a adult son who is disabled but not yet on disability. If you only have wealthy healthy people in your life, count your blessings.

      4. I think you are the one that needs to find an outlet for their anxiety.

        OP’s post is completely reasonable and appropriate.

    8. For my MIL, it made the most sense for her mother and her mentally disabled sister to have two separate units in an independent living facility with step up care. When they entered her mother was in her late 80s and sister was in her early 60s. As her mother aged, needed additional care, and eventually passed, her sister remained in her unit within independent care. This caused the least amount of disruption to sister, who cannot tolerate change well. An additional benefit is having their own spaces, her sister developed her own friends outside of those that their mother cultivated. Turns out, the aunt is a social butterfly with a gambling streak!

    9. Do they want to live together? And have they asked for your assistance to help them relocate? If not, then the answer is maybe they find a handyman that can help in the house so they can pursue the life they want versus the life you want them to want.

      1. OP here and it seems that every social visit now features a surprise major home maintenance issue that we stumble upon or a neglected medical follow-up. It is starting to mushroom and I feel that the tape-and-cardboard approach has been maxed out. At some point, if social services gets called, we worry that the time for making choices is essentially over and they may be told to rehouse themselves.

        1. That is tough to worry about extended family. May I suggest that you and your husband visit and have the hard discussion with his sisters?

        2. Frankly, social services won’t do that. I worked for meals on wheels and there are plenty of seniors who age in their homes and stay there until death. Volunteers have routinely had to make those calls for a wellness check of a weekly meal recipient who doesn’t come to the door.

          Seniors have the right to age where they want. Ask if they’re willing to have meals on wheels come to their home. Most volunteers enjoy chatting with their regulars every week. Some agencies have an unofficial list of people who will do additional household tasks for an hourly wage. If they have a security system, see about a life alert fall system that can be worn. Otherwise, ask if you can gift housekeeping services.

    10. A helpful standard when dealing with aging people who are still competent: would you allow a college freshman to live like this? Depends a bit on how much of a helicopter parent you are, but I’ve got some family members that can’t really keep house or cook but they aren’t willing to accept meals on wheels or a cleaning service. They will accept “gifts from family” but I can’t be their cooking and cleaning lady! If a college freshman decides that they’d rather live off cereal and canned soup than learn to cook I’d let them. Same about them not cleaning their room. Thus, I have let go of my guilt about letting my family live like that. I gave them choices, they chose this. I’m fortunate in that they don’t have significant cognitive decline, I don’t think this yardsticks works for dementia patients.

    11. My parents moved to a 55+ CCRC (continuous care retirement community) when my mom was in her 81 and my father was 87. They should’ve made the move 5-10 years earlier. My father had dementia and he died about 2 years after the move. My mother was consumed with taking care of him, and although she made friends, her ability to socialize was limited while he was alive. Anyway, she’s very happy there now. Plenty of friends, lots of activities, outings, dining options, etc. She still drives and lives independently. Several of her neighbors are on the younger side – in their 60’s – and still work. There are a few families with two generations living there, an elder in assisted living and their child living independently. I can see myself possibly moving to this place when the time comes.

    12. Assisted living communities come in ‘micro’ sizes sometimes- like a house for 4-6 people with a staff member on duty at all times. Alternatively, a 2bed in an assisted living community sounds like it’d fit them.

      And as far as what modern families do? They shove it on the eldest daughter, or the wife of the eldest son.

  6. Reposting from yesterday’s afternoon thread in the hope of input from our UK regulars before I pay whatever tariffs and shipping fees from the UK are these days: Does anyone know anything about quality and/or sizing on House of Bruar’s clothes (Scottish company)? I randomly got their catalog and they have a tweed skirt I want, but I know nothing about then.

    2. Oh I answered you but maybe too late. It’s gorgeous clothing, but cut small and the cuts are traditional. I’d size up to avoid returns.

    3. No idea, but the clothes reminded me of the Outlander series.

      Quality looks great!

    4. The quality is good but I’m tall and I found the arm length too short for me.
      Sizing is UK which is generally 2 sizes off from the US number (a UK 16 is a US 12).

    5. 6 sports – wash after every wear
      7-10 others, but probably 5 in regular rotation, wash about every 2 weeks

    6. There is a banner at the top of their home page that states there are no additional fees or tariffs to pay.

  7. For about a year now I’ve been pretty unhappy at work, whenever I would read comments here about raises or promotions or new jobs I was happy for that person but always thinking that I need to make a change and honestly feeling a little bad about myself/behind on things. I started looking for a new job and have been interviewing at a few places. My manager and I spoke, and it took a couple of weeks but I was promoted! With a comfortable (but nothing crazy) raise! Finally, my turn!

  8. In college, I had a major that did not require statistics. I took one calculus class and had credit from AB Calculus and after that, didn’t take any more math classes so I could do second major that also didn’t require statistics.

    I need to go back and take college statistics as a prerequisite for graduate school and I work FT. If I was good at math generally, is statistics similar or wildly different? I remember people calling it “sadistics” and don’t know if this is the sort of class I will need a lot of prep and maybe a tutor, of if I’d likely be OK just going in cold with no formal math class in the past 10 years.

    1. I did not consider myself a “math person”, but took two stats classes in college ans a part of my social sciences program and loved it because it felt very concrete. Try it out and maybe round it out with some Kahn academy if you need extra support.

    2. You’ll be fine. In general statistics actually has a reputation for being easier than a lot of other undergrad math courses, and a lot of the thinking is really intuitive. There’s a very humanistic side to it.

      You’ll also likely find that school is much easier than it was even 10 years ago.

    3. Hi from a real life statistician! You’ll be totally fine! Statistics is mostly logic and knowing when to use which formula. The math isn’t more complex than a scientific calculator. It’s true that people often love it or hate it, but I think the hate comes from having a difficult professor (who isn’t interested in teaching a basic level class) or not putting forth enough effort and patience. It’ll be challenging, but there are so many great online resources – don’t discount YouTube! – so you can find additional explanations or practice problems. As a motivated adult learner, you’ll be good. If you feel like you want extra support go to office hours or get a tutor. I hope it goes well for you!

    4. Honestly, I’m a math person and found that most of the hate for stats wasn’t based on the difficulty of the math, it’s that people who are traditionally funneled into math heavy stuff often have difficulty with the fact that stats are word problems where there aren’t necessarily correct questions to ask/answer about the data. People with more ability to tolerate ambiguity and understand algebra are just fine.

      1. On the flip side, I was a social science major and found that dislike/fear of statistics among my fellow majors was based on being extremely Not Math People. As a person who was reasonably comfortable with numbers (and, as anon 12:02 says, an ability to tolerate ambiguity), I was totally fine.

    5. Courses that are not heavy in math otherwise probably use the concepts and language from the stats class heavily but don’t teach them outside of that stats class.

      The concepts learned in a basic stats class are not difficult to grasp if you mathematically inclined. FWIW, I have a math degree and never actually took a plain stats class. It was always assumed you either took it in high school, or could pick up what you needed from the other math and science classes you were taking.

    6. College statistics is nothing like regular math. It requires a totally different way of thinking and is really quite easy if you stop trying to make it math.

    7. If you are good with excel, I find statistics for business to be a completely different (easier) world than true hard math. I did rely on an engineering friend to help me with tutoring through the second of 2 classes I needed for my grad degree, but overall it was not as scary as I anticipated.

    8. I had extreme difficulty with algebra but was good with geometry and statistics. To me, they are difference languges completely.

    9. In my grad school there was the statistics class for people who did not take calculus and the statistics class for people who did. I was the former category. They made us all come in for a weekend remedial math tutorial. Honestly it was difficult and I had to re-teach myself concepts w youtube tutorials, but I squeaked by with a B.

    10. You’ll be fine. Lower division statistics is comprehensible to anyone who can manage algebra and calculate probabilities

      FYI you may be able to take this at a community college, which tend to have smaller class sizes + lower enrollment costs vs. a university.

    11. I agree it’s nothing like math. My degree was in econ and math, and I always struggled with statistics because it’s not the same thing and didn’t work with the way my brain worked. So you may find it easier than other math, if you are good with the logical thinking it requires.

  9. I’m moving a convo from the M0ms page to here: How many bras do you own and how often do you wash them?

      1. Caveat that my husband is immensely sweaty, but I am not and I don’t wear the same one 2 days in a row but find that I don’t need to wash frequently but will wash if I’ve gotten sweaty in one in the summer.

        1. Because washing bras is a pain. You should really hand wash to preserve the structural integrity. I do get lazy and machine wash them sometimes but at the very least it has to go in a separate delicates load.
          This doesn’t apply to soft sports bras which go in the regular laundry and are washed after every use.

          1. FWIW, I wash my underwire bras regularly in a mesh bag along with other soft clothes (like PJs) and they still last for years, so I don’t think they need excessive babying. I do hang to dry.

          2. This is wear I land. Mine get stinky and I notice I get b**b-acne if I don’t wash regularly, so I wash them in a mesh bag, but with my regular clothes, regular cycle, regular detergent. If they wear out faster and I have to buy more, I figure it’s still a good trade of money-for-time compared to handwashing

          3. I don’t even bother with a mesh bag, just hook the band together and you’ll avoid most issues.

    3. 5 soft, 3 underwire, 1 strapless. I wear each a couple of times before washing, except the strapless, which is washed every time because I wear it so infrequently and don’t want to store it dirty.

    4. 14 in the regular rotation. Generally thrown in the laundry after one to two wears, and due to the quantity, I just do a big load of them every few weeks.

    5. 6 regular bras that I wash after 3-4 wears (so every other week or so? unless I worked up a sweat in them somehow and then I wash immediately) and 6 sportsbras that I usually wash after each wear (unless I do yoga and plan to wear it the very next day for a sweaty activity). From this site, I realized that maybe the elastic in my bras needed a break after each wear, so I increased from just 3 bras to 6 rotating. I also have a few random strapless and “fancy” bras that realistically are worn only once a year and, honestly, probably have never been washed.

    6. 9 everyday, 4 convertible for weird necklines, 2 strapless, 10+ sports bras, 9 bralettes for sleeping. Washed every wearing.

    8. Not that many, mostly wearing a light sports bra style, wash after every wear. I never, ever rewear a heavier sports bra after a workout – gross.

    9. 12 or so? But I’m small up top so wear a mix of bralettes and sports bras. I wash after most wears – I’m not super sweaty but my skin is pretty sensitive and in general I like fresh clothes.

    10. I wear bralettes only, have ~10, and they get washed after 1-2 wears. I’m small-b00bed but wide-chested and regular bras are so uncomfortable.

    11. Putting aside sports bras, I own one strapless that I wash after every wear because I rarely wear it, 5 regular bras that all pre-date 2020 and I wear a couple of times before washing, and a bazillion soft bras that I wear one to three days in a row depending on what I’m doing and if I got sweaty and then wash.

    12. 3 sports bras and about 6 regular bras. Sports bras are washed after every wear, regular bras every 2-3 wears (thank you hot flashes!).

    14. I have 12-15 underwired bras in my current rotation, and 4-5 soft cup lounge bras and a sports bra.

      I also keep bras that are not my current size.

      Hand-wash after 2-3 wears, but don’t wear the same bra two days in a row.

    15. Maybe around 5 bras that I detest wearing. A bunch of bralettes and sport bras that I wear regularly. I wash after every wear.

    16. I own a lot (sports bras, wireless, strapless or other special occasion, etc.), but the regular rotation is 6 bras that I wash every two weeks, plus a 7th that I wear on laundry day. They seem to last much longer (many years) when they get a good rest between wears.

    17. 15, soft jockey ones from Target. I wash after each wear, but just washer/dryer, nothing special.

    18. 4 everyday bras washed in the washer after 2-3 wears and aired out in between. I know the washer is hard on them but I use lingerie bags and always hang to dry and they seem fine.

      3 sports bras – washed after every workout with my work out clothes. Hang to dry

      Racier bits are washed after every wear.

    19. 4 real ones for when I go into the office/wear work clothes (2 skin tone, 2 black)
      2 more comfortable bralette-ish ones for WFH (2 black)
      2 cute ones for going out outfits (1 skin tone, 1 black)
      6ish sports bras (2 heavy duty for running, 4 for things like yoga/pilates)

      The sports bras get washed after each workout, the “real ones” and bralettes get washed every 5-6 wears/every 2 weeks, the cute ones… when they grow legs and walk themselves to the laundry room (to quote an old dear prudence column)

    20. Sports bras, every time. Regular bras, when I can actually tell they are dirty, which is not often. More often when I was nursing. I think some of you may be making unnecessary work for yourselves!

      1. It is literally zero work to throw a bra in on a delicate cycle with other items. Or a regular cycle if it’s hardy enough.

        No one else is saying it so I will – it is gross to wear a bra for months without washing it. Gross. Take the four minutes to wash by hand. Throw it in the machine.

        1. This. I toss them in with my work blouses on a delicate cycle in a mesh bag and hang to dry. Super easy.

        2. I have never once had zits, a rash, or a smell based on my washing cadence. Maybe it would be gross for your body, but it’s demonstrably not a problem for mine.

          1. Also, I didn’t say I was going “months.” But certainly not every two wears—that’s crazy to me!

        3. This. I blanched at the comments saying they don’t wash them regularly. Nasty and why people smell.

          1. I don’t get the why either – it’s nice to take care of your clothes but bra isn’t meant to last a lifetime, so you don’t need to baby it to the extent that you are unclean. Clothes only last as long as they last and you’re supposed to maintain hygiene.

      3. My bras smell musty if I sweat in them – even everyday ones. I doubt anyone else can smell it unless they are pressed up against me, but it bothers me. I only have 3 good ones, and so I wash them at least once a week when we do a load of delicate wash. I wash them in mesh bags and hang to dry. I guess I should buy more, but I like pretty expensive bras (34H cup; I need engineering). My sports bras, I try to wash every wear, but often it is every 2 wears, as I don’t have many and work out daily. I got more cautious about this after I got cellulitis on my breast.

        1. I think we basically have the same philosophy. Wash them when your body/nose tells you it’s time! In the summer, that’s more often for me; in the winter, it’s less often.

          1. People are often nose blind to themselves. By the time you can smell yourself, others have been able to smell for a while.

        2. I also had breast cellulitis once and I certainly wish I had spent the extra time to make sure it was clean. It wouldn’t have taken much.

        3. I appreciate the cellulitis PSAs since they’ve motivated me to go find the lingerie bag or to hand wash even when things passed the sniff test.

    21. I wear an undershirt next to my skin and the bra over that and I air out bras between wears, so each bra gets washed maybe twice a year? Sometimes less. And like was mentioned, I was washing my bras plenty while nursing.

    22. I have 6 bralettes and two underwires that I recently purchased. I wear 2 bralettes each week, rotating days. I immediately toss them in the hamper if I get sweaty in them. I wear the underwires if I’m going out, etc. and I need a more defined shape. I have mesh containers with a plastic frame that hold 1 bra each and I just toss them in the washing machine with everything else. A couple of weeks ago, I FINALLY went to a fancy loungerie shop and got formally measured. I should have done this a long time ago. I was wearing the wrong band size and cup size for years. I’m very happy now and my underwire bras fit and look great.

    23. Roughly 15 in regular rotation and usually sports bras daily at work because I wear army fatigues. I have about six sports bras. I wash 4-6 a week but some probably only get worn once a month and only are washed twice a year. I have another half dozen special occasion bras that basically get worn once a year never get washed. Gentle hand wash cycle and hung to dry.

  10. Hello! I would like to make some recommendations for you all today of things I have bought recently that I am really loving. Chime in if you have any of your own:
    1. Concealer from lady gaga’s brand at Sephora. They have a little camera which a salesperson can use to color match you, and it is SPOT on. And the coverage is minimal but at the same time, so good?
    2. Rag & Bone Peyton High Rise BootCut. Size down one size, and they might still be a little loose, but the rise and fit are perfection.
    3. Cinq a Sept Petal Ethel Denim Jacket (half off at Nordies right now). It is so interesting and unique, and can be worn as a jacket or a shirt. And actually I like a lot of this brand’s denim, as long as it is on the simpler side (they also make some stuff that is too extra for me)

    1. I haven’t tried the concealer, but I have the blush stick from her brand and I love it! So easy to apply and it blends really easily.

      1. Same question – the description says they are slim through the thigh, which is not what this pear shaped body loves.

      3. Fair enough. Very silly of me to assume they would work for everyone!!! I am small and very slightly hourglass. I am 5’2″ and they needed to be hemmed. What I love about them is they have quite a bit of stretch, and the color is kind of a unique dark jean with some interest that I can wear to work.

  12. I’m attending a Catholic funeral mass this weekend. I’m currently in a walking boot after fracturing my foot, so I don’t really want to wear a dress. Is it ok to wear black slacks and a subdued sweater or blouse? I fear I won’t be dressed up enough. I would wear a black suit if it were on a weekday, but that feels a little odd on a weekend.

    3. i don’t know where you live so i’m sure it’s regional but the last few funerals i have been to in winter (NYC) everyone even the mourners in chief (wife, daughter) were wearing dark pants and sweaters or suits. I think i’ve told this story here but i wore a black dress like i would wear to the office and black tights with heels and an old lady told me i looked glamorous which i took to mean overdressed. you are fine regardless but the boot certainly gives you even more leeway.

    4. this is 100% appropriate. Someone asked this same question, Catholic funeral, without the walking boot, within the last week or so and everyone said pants and nice sweater is fine.

    5. That’s totally fine. I’m Catholic and have never thought of us as dressy people. I’d bet many people will wear similar outfits.

    6. It’s fine for a Catholic Church but the better consideration is the crowd and reception after. If it’s a more formal bunch, I’d do a blazer instead of a sweater.

    7. Yup, totally fine.

      (also, if it’s easier for you to sit at any point, no one will mind)

  13. Anyone have a recommendation for bralettes that provide some support but not as tight or thick as sports bras? I’m a 30D (which is the same as a 34B) so I need just a little support for every day wear.

    1. i wear the true & co convertible one (the not convertible one is longer, i find it rolls up on itself). I had a masectomy so my boobs don’t move, not sure how much support they have…. definitely not more than a little :)

    2. The Jockey ones at Target are good for this and they have built-in lining, which is key for me. I hate those removable cups.

    5. I like my aerie bralettes. 37 years old with 34D breasts. I’m not who they advertise to, but they work and I can try them on in person.

    6. I want the “bralette” that Rachel Zegler wore on Tuesday to some evening thing. Loooove it… Anyone know who made it? Thanks!

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