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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 175 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Loveappella Seamed Wrap Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Loveappella Seamed Wrap Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. At first glance I thought this dress was DVF, until I looked closer at the price — $78! I'm not familiar with the brand but there are a lot of glowing reviews in there, and for $78 it's hard to go wrong. Love the hemline, the color, and the pockets (!). Loveappella Seamed Wrap Dress Here's a plus-sized alternative (and another with a bolder print). Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

    • Mpls

      Get better at managing money. Track your spending, set a budget, cut unnecessary expenses and reduce your fixed costs.

      No magic bullet – you have to do the work.

      • Anonymous

        +1
        This may seem unrelated but find ways to reduce your stress levels–if and when this occurs–it’s much harder to think straight and make good decisions when your brain feels fried.

      • Anon

        +1 First place to start:
        (1) Tally up how much money you are bringing in (salary, any other sources of income)
        (2) Tally up your bills. Make sure you include everything such as gas, groceries, netflix, regular services you use (dry cleaning, dog walker, etc.) and include a realistic figure for “fun money.” Also identify any annual costs (professional dues, insurance premiums, real estate taxes, etc.) and divide that by 12 and put that amount in a savings account every month (make the transfers automatic if you have to) and don’t touch it.
        (3) Identify anything you can cut. Downsize your house/apt., can you get rid of hair treatments, services (house cleaner, etc.), eat out less.
        (4) Subtract what you are bringing in from what your monthly expenses are. This amount goes to loans every month. The only exception is emergency situations (emergency = medical bills, not a great clothing sale)
        (5) When your fun money is gone, you are done spending (this is the hardest part).

    • Anon

      Big stuff is easier than little stuff – for me, this was rent a cheaper place and put the difference to my loans, put bonuses and unexpected “windfalls” to them too. Clothing budget. And then not too worried about little stuff like coffees/ cocktails/ etc.

      • tesyaa

        Yes, unless you are really making a LOT of small, unnecessary purchases, it’s easier to cut a big expense than a lot of little ones.

      • Anonymous

        Disagree with this–>”And then not too worried about little stuff like coffees/ cocktails/ etc.”
        The small stuff can add up too whether it’s drinks/lunches out, you don’t have to be extremely miserly but it does not hurt to scrutinize what kind of small purchases you make. You can either eliminate them or substitute e.g. I like Starbucks chai tea latte but depending on the size that can be about $3 or so, an alternative can be a simple chai tea which costs less.

    • Carrie...

      Is your income such that you can afford to pay back your loans with a little more discipline, or are you falling down the rabbit hole?

      I agree that it helps to target major expenses first. It may be time to move. You need to decrease those big, fixed costs. Move close to work to decrease commuting costs. To a smaller apartment. Maybe with roommates. You really can live more simply.

      Can you afford to have a car? If not, and public transportation is good where you live, maybe you need to get rid of it.

      Then stop spending money on anything except essential expenses for awhile and figure out where you $$ has been going. Write it down. No more clothes/furniture/luxurious purchases at all. Stop and think before you buy anything. Give yourself a few days to think it over. Start realizing what your needs are rather than your wants.

      And then start cutting….

      Make your lunch. Cook your dinner. Bring your coffee with you in a thermos after making it at home.

      Drop cable. Cable is dead. Use Amazon prime or Hulu plus or Netflix or your public library.

      Negotiate a lower rate (by calling…) or change your car insurance/apt. insurance, cell phone plan etc…. Re-examine every fixed expense.

      Start with those. That is a lot, actually. You can do it!

    • Brit

      I found that using cash helped with little purchases that added up faster than you think when you use your credit card for them. Taking out $100 or $200 (or whatever you want to set for your budget) and then saying that’s it for the month – if I went to purchase something, it was a physical reminder of the money I had left to spend for the month.

      • Katie

        I do this, too. And, I try to minimize my monthly contracts or renewed expenses (gym memberships, big cell phone plans, cable, subscription boxes, etc). It’s easy to think, it’s just a few dollars here and there, but it adds up quickly.

      • Katie

        One more thing: plan the amount you want to pay on your loans first (I suggest more than the minimum payment, since it takes forever to pay off loans that way), then figure out a budget for non-essentials.

    • anon

      I assume you have consolidated at a lower interest.

      Be honest with yourself. Only if you have a correct diagnoses can you treat the illness. How much is your debt, how much are you paying per month, how long will it take you to repay it at that rate? Be honest about your spending. Be honest about your income.

      Tell yourself, I can’t afford that. Tell your friends, I can’t afford to eat there/buy that/go there. Say it out loud “I can not afford it.”

      Sunshine is the best disinfectant.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. You need to write down your budget and BE HONEST about how you are spending your money. Only then can you see whether it is POSSIBLE to get out of debt given your fixed costs, or whether you need to move to a cheaper place, sell your car, etc. etc., in order to get ahead of it.

        Check out the “case studies” on Mr Money Mustache to get an idea of how to get a handle on your inflows and outflows.

        You can do it!

    • AnonForThis

      As someone who lives below the poverty line to pay off my student loan debt, I think I am the master at cutting expenses. This is ignoring the obvious like get netflix, cheaper rent, public transit ect.
      1. Food Prep, whatever that means for you. For me that means making 2 weeks worth of breakfast every Sunday (can be protein pancakes that just need to be put in the toaster, healthy muffins, all the fruit prep for smoothies, literally anything that means breakfast is 5 minutes or less) when food is fast you are likely to eat it. Plus making extra lasagnas for the freezer or chili or soups ect.
      2. Cheap Wine, go to the grocery store and just try a bunch of stuff, eventually you will find a wine that loves you and your budget. This sounds silly but if you change from a $15 wine to a $5 wine, assuming weekly wine that’s an extra $500+ to throw at loans
      3. Make Inventories, clothes, pantry, everything. Keep these inventories easily accessible, for me that means google docs. So when I’m shopping I can see hey I have 2 navy pencil skirts so this “deal” isn’t actually going to improve my wardrobe.
      4. Cut workout expenses. For me that meant finding a building with a gym, to you that can mean taking up workout videos, or at home yoga, or running, or body weight work.
      5. Find your “holy grail” items. Items that strike the right balance between awesome and budget friendly. I know what mascara I love, what oats I like, what protein I like, my favourite cheese, ect. This means when I grocery shop I am focused and don’t waste money on “interesting” items.
      All this said I splurge on exactly one thing: cat food. I am not feeding my beloved that corn filled crap.

        • Anonymous

          I second that, I actually cut out alcohol completely since I’m on a strict budget and wine is about the only thing I like to drink. But if one can find a $5 or $7 bottle that’s good enough, why not…

          • emeralds

            Go to Trader Joe’s if there’s one near you and ask for recommendations! My go-to TJ’s table wines are around $8-10, but I’ve had some very workable ones for $5 or $6.

      • AnonForThis

        I Forgot to mention that luxury doesn’t necessarily mean expensive. You can buy gourmet beans and make awesome coffee that’s only 1/4 the price of Starbucks. Just something to think about

    • Meg Murry

      Figure out how much you want to spend on debt reduction each month, and separate it from the rest of your money. Open a second checking account just for paying off debt, and if you can split your direct deposit, have your debt repayment amount direct deposited into that account, and then set your loans to auto debit from that account. If you can’t split your direct deposit into 2 accounts, set up a recurring transfer for the day after payday.

      Alternately, put all your money into a bill paying account and set your recurring bills to auto pay out of that, and then give yourself a “fun money” separate account with a debit card. Once the money is used, its gone. Its a lot easier to do the math with less money in your account, rather than looking and going “oh, I have $4000, I’m fine – but wait, will I have to pay rent before the next payday? Has the check I wrote to my landlord cleared? What about my car loan? Etc, etc”. If everything in the fun money account is for fun money, you don’t have to worry about that, and you can spend down to your buffer amount ($100, $500, whatever you feel comfortable having as a buffer).

    • Asideralis

      I seriously love using Mint to track my spending and budget things out. If possible, automate payments and pay more than the minimum.

      I recommend the blogs for LearnVest, LifeHacker Finance, and Nerdwallet. Good luck!

    • CountC

      Stop spending money on things you do not need. Things you need: a place to live, food, transportation to work. Things you most likely do not need: new clothes/shoes/household decorations/etc., drinks/eating out, cable, coffee not made at home, that new snazzy water bottle, a new picture frame, that ring from Claire’s, to buy your friend a birthday present (a card works just fine), etc. Create a spreadsheet to track these things for a couple weeks or whatever, then take the money you would ordinarily spend on these things and put it towards your student loans.

      When I buckled down and stopped spending money on things I did not need, I had no problem having a full and enjoyable life only buying the things I truly did need (rent, food, and gas for my car basically).

    • Anonymous

      I am going to disagree with everyone. I think there is a balance.

      I have personally taken the stance that student loans are a “tax” on getting to my current life and I can’t defer life forever.

      I still have around 60k to pay off- if it takes another 5 years, fine, but I’m not going to put off saving for retirement, or getting married, or buying a house or having kids or travelling.

      I try to be prudent – I make my own lunches, walk to work, shop the sales for work clothes, all those normal things, but I didn’t spend 10 years in school to live my life in below poverty levels. My loans will still be paid off before I’m 40, and I won’t be starting from scratch for retirement savings or having to pay out of pocket for infertility treatments because I’ve delayed kids and marriage for student loans.

      • Jax

        I think this is very wise. For 10 years we (H and I) paid the minimum on his student loans while we had our children and bought a house. We’re finally at a place where we can start funneling extra money to his loans and maybe knock them out in the next 5 years–and I’m glad we did it this way.

        It’s a good idea to look at the debt as the cost of doing business and just accepting it. I used to get really angry and think of all the other things that $400 payment could go towards, and it made me miserable. The amount was so big and it all felt overwhelming. When we took a more long sighted view of it (like when you buy a house) it helped us to have hope.

        • ELS

          This is how we manage our (dual law school) loans.

          We’re both paying a little extra every month, but we’re not going to forego retirement savings, and we did not forego a house in favor of more quickly paying down our student loans.

          That said, when we get “windfall” money, we usually end up applying that to our student loans.

          Also, OP: If you’re having problems sticking to a budget (or, really, making a realistic budget), I cannot recommend You Need A Budget (YNAB). DH and I bought the software and have been using it since November. It has, and I am not exaggerating, changed our lives and our marriage for the better. We are able to have a fluid budget from month to month (which is good because our income changes slightly each month), and we are able to track every expense and savings.

          I like YNAB much better than Mint for two reasons: first, it is not linked directly to my bank/credit card/loan accounts. In the age of hacking and security breaches, I’d prefer that information not be linked to my budgeting software. Second, YNAB makes me manually enter each expense. Each and every one. This forces me to look at and think about my spending before I spend. And I suppose third: It allows me to easily track how much I have left to spend in each category, and split transactions between multiple categories.

          I spend one day each week going back over my accounts to make sure we logged all our expenses (there is a desktop version of the app, and you can log directly using the mobile app on your smartphone). Sometimes I find a few, but lately, we have been logging everything, since it’s old hat.

    • Michelle

      Also helps to deposit immediately to a “pay down debt” account rather than to the regular checking account – taking debt repayment off the top means it’s much harder to dip into that for other things, and you get accustomed to viewing your spendable income as that lower net amount.

      • Bonnie

        Yes, have the money automatically moved from your account so you’re not tempted to spend it.

    • Houstonian

      I know this is not by the book — but for me, strict budgets have not worked well. Spending too much money is, for me, akin to a bad habit, in the same way that eating too much junk food is. When I want to eat better, I don’t focus on counting calories or being very restrictive — instead, what has helped me is focusing on being in a mental “place” where I want to eat healthy food, feeling good about myself, and not obsessing over every calorie. If I’m not thinking too much about food, then I actually end up eating less (and healthier).

      It’s the same with me and money. I have cut down my spending a lot in the past few months — by simply not thinking about shopping, and just getting out of the habit of spending money. And, now that I’m not in the habit of, for example, buying a blouse because I’m having a bad day, I find that I don’t think about it as much.

      • eh230

        Thanks for your perspective. I have a similar type of mentality with food/being healthy, so it was interesting to see it being applied to money.

      • Anonymous

        For some reason, I kept reading the last sentence is buying a house because I’m having a bad day and thought, wow, that’s taking bad money habits to a new high.

  2. tesyaa

    This dress, I don’t know. Up close, the print looks cheap, for some reason, and in the second picture, the hemline looks uneven.

    • Mpls

      I think the cocked hip + wrap style is giving the impression of an uneven hem.

    • la vie en bleu

      I like the cut and the length enough I wld want to buy it and at least try it out in person. I wish I could have a closet full of DVFs to wear almost every day but I’m not in that tax bracket.

      • anonymous

        What’s so great about DVF? I’ve never seen/touched/tried on anything, so wondering what the hype is about, and whether people feel like it’s worth the money.

          • emeralds

            Yes. I don’t own one yet, but I’ve tried on a few and I’d say they are absolutely worth the money: great fabric, beautiful drape, and quality construction. Once my clothes-shopping ban is over in July, I’ll be back to stalking them on Off 5th and Last Call…no luck in the right colors and sizes yet, but it has to happen eventually!

        • anon-oh-no

          I think you have to like a wrap dress though, which I hate. On me and on others. I just don’t like the look. so if you are a fan of the wrap dress, DVF is the way to go, but otherwise, id find another designer to spend your money on.

        • cbackson

          I wear a lot of DVF, both the wraps and her other styles. The wraps are typically a woven silk, which is a lovely fabric that drapes well. I actually love her non-wrap dresses more, though – really well-constructed, well-designed, heavy knits that hold up to heavy wear and are wrinkle-resistant. Just awesome.

          • Anon

            I agree with everything cbackson wrote except that I don’t actually own any DVF because she doesn’t make tall sizes. I’m 5-8 and I’ve yet to try on a dress that would be office appropriate :(

  3. Ellen

    Yay! TPS! I love LOVEAPPELLA and this wrap dress, Kat! Great price also! YAY! Even Frank likes this dress even tho he can NOT play peek-a-boo with my boobie’s as he likes. I have learned to live with Frank, but in reallity, he is a pig that should be called out on his sexism, but his wife just let’s him get away with it. The sad thing is that he even does this at firm outeing’s where his wife is there and she just giggel’s! FOOEY on men that bully their wife’s into letting them grab at boobie’s and tuchuses of their wife in public and ooogle other women like me just b/c we also have boobie’s and tuchuses. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    I am takeing a half day after all, but I made up for it yesterday by billeing 33 hour’s of time so I can go easy today. I expect to get my 156.25 by COB tomorow, so Dad is takeing me to a new place on 34th Street today b/c he as a meeting with some guy at the secret service or something nearby. He said his guy from the iron curtain used to guard the presidential entoorage, and that he had sex with more women in Ukraine then even some of the very famous Ukranian’s now so that when he see’s pictures of people now who are about 25, he wonder’s if he is really their father! I would NOT want to see that winkie now. FOOEY!

    Dad is trying to line up another guy for me, but after Donald, I think I am doieng better on my own. Dad is still mad that Donald efectively said Sayonara to me as soon as he saw Myrna. My dad said Donald’s dad told him it was my tuchus, but Donald liked to stare at my tuchus, and Myrna does NOT even realy have a tuchus. I think Dad is makeing it all up so that I excercise more so that I can find a guy who will MARRY me. He knows I would NEVER ask Donald about whether it was my tuchus that drove him to Myrna. FOOEY!

    Myrna can NOT meet us for lunch today, but she is comeing over tonite, and I will tell her about lunch with Dad. Dad said mabye he could get a guy for Myrna also and we could doubel date. I said one at a time, dad, the looser’s you bring should NOT come in group’s of two. Ed also has another guy for me, but I worry that his freind’s like to have stripper’s do things sexueal to them, so I do NOT want that comeing home to me at night if we got MARRIED. I am sure the HIVE agrees for us NEVER to marry guy’s who like to get strippers to entertain them at lunch. TRIPEL FOOEY on that. I have 3 motion’s to be heard on Monday, so I have to quick write up breif’s and submit them b/f lunch today with Dad. YAY!!!!!

  4. Anonymous

    Going off of yesterday’s conversation about buying and selling houses, does anyone have any tips for a first time home buyer? I’m currently in the process of getting approved for a loan and looking at down payment assistance programs my state has, and I would love any and all advice. I think I want a fixer-upper/project house, has anyone had experience with that?

    • Anon2

      Consider talking to your small local credit unions and banks… like, think really small. We got an insane quote for a first time home buyer program. They don’t advertise like the regional and national banks, so there’s no way we would have known about their program without the referral from a friend. Specifically, 11% down payment, they pay all closing costs and no PMI, whereas most banks will require PMI until you’re 20% equity in. That’s about $200-$300/month savings. No fees/points, etc. Fixed rate for 30 year mortgage was around 3.3% two weeks ago. Also, because they’re small and don’t sell off their loans, if you make a random big payment during the term of the loan, at your request, they will adjust your monthly payment down rather than shorter the term of your loan. I have a big and unpredictable bonus structure in my office, so that’s huge for us. This one in particular is in the Boston area.

      • Anonymous

        Wow, I’d love to know which CU you’re talking about — this is seriously my dream and I’m looking to buy in Boston in the next four or five months.

        • Anon2

          The Savings Bank in Wakefield. They lend all over the state, I believe. The deal assumes reasonable credit level and is only for first-time buyers.. after that they get you with feels and all the normal stuff.

    • Anon

      Think twice about wanting a fixer upper. If you want it to save money, that is a bad strategy – it costs a lot to rehab a fixer-upper. If you are actually handy/ this is your hobby and you have time for it and want to spend every free second working on it, then fine. My advice is go as turn-key as possible. Remodel judiciously. I say this as someone who made the mistake of thinking it’s cheaper. It isn’t – it’s incredibly expensive, harder to get a loan to do it (you really should have cash on hand), and there are unaccounted costs like time you can’t live there because no bathroom/kitchen / everything is under tarps.

      • anon

        Second this. Don’t buy a fixer-upper unless you have plenty of cash and experience and know you will enjoy the long, arduous process. We bought a house that at the time “just” needed cosmetic upgrades–new paint, flooring, faucets, light fixtures, etc. We did nearly all the work ourselves and were surprised by just how much it cost and how much time it took. Projects that we thought would take a weekend or two, like installing ceramic tile in our tiny kitchen, ended up taking weeks. Things that sound straightforward often turn out not to be. When issues arise, it is very hard to troubleshoot and produce a professional-looking result if you don’t have tons of experience. If the work looks amateurish, it will be hard to resell the house later. It is depressing and stressful to live in a disorderly mess of a construction zone for a long period of time. And if the house is older, you will have to deal with lead paint and possibly asbestos.

        Also, no matter how capable you believe yourself to be, think twice about a fixer-upper if you are single, unless you have a reliable and willing assistant who will not mind donating many weekends to the cause (parent, etc.). Many jobs require two sets of hands–one person holds the item in place while the other attaches it, etc.

        • Peach Pye

          +1. Very well said
          The next time we purchase a house I will have to resist the inclination to smack any realtor who says “its just cosmetic” or “its just paint” ( unless are offering their labor for free).
          Even those “minor upgrades” are expensive, time consuming and stressful.

          • tesyaa

            I know not everyone can live with cosmetic imperfections, but usually a house purchase is for the long haul. If it’s a great deal/layout/location otherwise, is it terrible to live with dingy paint? Not everything needs to be done right away.

            ETA: I don’t have the same attitude toward structural or systemic imperfections. Get the best, most thorough home inspection available and know exactly what is wrong with the house. Even if you can defer painting, you cannot defer a new furnace if it’s on its last legs.

          • anon

            tesyaa – We purchased a home that was a great deal and in a great location. It needed a full kitchen renovation, a replaced bathroom floor, and cosmetic fixes (floors plus wallpaper removal/skimming/painting) in every room. After one year, we remodeled the kitchen and did the cosmetic fixes in the living room. Three years in, we’re about to start with the floors and walls in the bedrooms and fixing the bathroom floor. So, we’ve been living with ugly brown plaid wallpaper that’s not even hung at right angles for more than three years (in the guest bedroom/office). That said, the comments above are correct that even the “cosmetic” stuff is not as easy or inexpensive as it seems, and one project always seems to lead to another. We’ve made a point of saving about 10% of our income for these projects — which we can afford to do only because we paid off student debt and established an emergency fund before buying the house, our mortgage is ridiculously small, and we don’t have kids yet (actually, I’m expecting this summer, and we already plan to pay for daycare with the amount we’ve been putting aside for remodeling).

            Also, keep in mind, if it’s an older home, there are bound to be non-cosmetic problems you’re not expecting. Right as we finished remodeling our kitchen, we had to go into our emergency fund to replace the main drain line (which cost about $8K, plus another $1K and a lot of DH’s and BIL’s labor to resod the yard). A few months after that, we had to replace the AC blower and duct work for another $5K. It took about a year to rebuild the emergency fund before we started adding back into the remodeling fund — so you may end up living with ugly longer than you expect.

        • Burgher

          So true. My husband and I are both very handy, and now 7 years later we are still doing projects on our “only needs cosmetic upgrades” house.

          “Just” putting in a new floor in a tiny half bath easily turns into, oh crap, there is water damage around the entire toilet. So it’s another trip to Lowes and a bag of floor leveler and a trowel that you weren’t expecting to have to buy, and an extra 2 days without your bathroom. Every single project has been more work than we anticipated, and I work in construction!

          Not trying to dissuade you, and I’d buy our house again, just be prepared for what you are getting into!

      • Sarabeth

        Totally. We bought something that needed a lot of work, and in the end it saved us zero money and cost us a lot of time and hassle. The only reason I don’t regret it is that we were looking for a very specific combination of features, and this house was the only place we saw that had them all. But financially/logistically, there was no benefit.

      • Anon

        If you ever want a good laugh, try to find “Renovation Realities”. I think it’s a DIY show, although also occasionally shown on HGTV. It’s real people deciding to re-model some part of their home in some period of time. And the results are pretty much exactly what the comments here are saying – even for people who have experience.

        http://www.diynetwork.com/renovation-realities/show/index.html

      • anon

        also second. We purchased a house in ’07 that was in the middle of a nasty divorce, FSBO, and they were gutting the 1977 original parts. We told them to stop work, we would buy it as is. We got a bridge loan on top of our mortgage to do the necessary improvements to just get us into the house (was it $20k?). We were on a time constraint–we had closed on the house, but were waiting on the closure of our then-current home. We had about 3 months to do the work, and it was a ton:

        stripping wallpaper (done by us); painting (us); fixture replacement (lights, plumbing, etc, by us); flooring (contractor); countertops, appliances, sink (us). Basically, the floors had been stripped to the subfloor before we purchased, and, the fixtures had been taken out of the half bath, and all other fixtures in the 2 other baths would have to be replaced.

        What we didn’t have time to do is FINISH the work. We basically were able to do the bare minimum to get us into the house. We bought the best carpet pad we could, but just about the cheapest carpet, knowing we could/would replace it someday. The painting isn’t / wasn’t totally finished–there is a lot of touch up that needs to be done. And, now more than 7 years in (plus 2 kids and a dog) there’s just not the time or the money to finish it, and it is something that annoys me to no end, and it just makes me feel like our house is just not done. I don’t know a better way to describe it. In the end, there were parts that we had to totally leave alone, like the 1977 kitchen cabinets that are no longer plumb, but that desperately need both updating for aesthetics, and for function.

        If I had it to do over again, I’d have A) taken my time/hired the work out to truly finish it, or more likely, B) purchase something smaller and more turnkey.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      Unless you’re very handy (not “I put my Ikea bed together all by myself!” handy, more like “I build custom furniture on the weekends for fun!” handy) or are related to someone who is (and will help you on an unlimited basis), think twice about a fixer-upper. We just bought a “move-in ready” house and have already (in 3 weeks) put in thousands of dollars on (a) “small things” that are actually a huge PITA to fix; (b) “small things” that were actually masking much bigger things that our home inspector didn’t catch and that required professional intervention; and (c) “small things” that we had no problem doing ourselves, but still spent a lot more than we expected (do you even know how much paint costs? especially when you’re trying to cover orange walls? srsly).

      To give you some examples, refinishing the hardwood floors alone was around $1500, and that was for under 1000 sq. feet and the floors were already installed and exposed, just ugly and worn-looking. Never mind the day that “change the faucet handle” turned into “call the plumber, the bathroom is flooded, because surprise! the handle isn’t the thing that’s broken, it’s the pipe!” And this was in addition to the usual repainting/furnishing/updating minor things that we’d already planned on. Even the most turn-key homes are money pits.

      Don’t believe the HGTV lie – normal people cannot just waltz into their first home and start swinging sledgehammers around. If you want a “project” house, look for a home that’s turnkey but weird – strange paint color choices, odd-but-maybe-charming-if-styled-correctly light fixtures/flooring/etc. – basically, things that will turn off a buyer who wants to move in without doing any work at all, but aren’t a big deal to change yourself.

      ETA: Also consider homes where the living space is done but there’s extra space that could use some love/fixing as your outlet for the project interest – for example, a turn-key house with a bare yard could be fun to landscape/build a deck/etc., or a turn-key house with an unfinished basement and your project could be finishing the basement. You’d be adding value through your projects, without impacting your ability to live in the house day-to-day (and those are projects that could be put on pause indefinitely in the event of financial issues, unlike your kitchen).

    • CountC

      As the above posters have alluded to, fixer-uppers are costly, time-consuming, and stressful. I think it’s important to assess why you want a fixer-upper. Is it because you want to have a lower sale price? Trust when we say that the lower sale price will be overtaken by reno and unexpected discovery costs. Is it because you want a home that is something you completely designed? As a first time home buyer, I would caution you against this. I have found that it takes a little while of living in a home to figure out exactly how you will use it and how you use it should go into the consideration of what/how to reno. If you buy something you believe will only need cosmetic changes, that’s not quite as arduous, but you will still need the cash on hand or to be able to get an additional loan to complete construction.

      I was fortunate enough to negotiate all of the renovations my home needed (it was unlivable – no walls, no plumbing, no electric, etc.) into my sales contract so that I didn’t close until it was all done. The scope of work included the levels of what I would get (cabinets, floor, etc.), but the seller acted as the GC. I was still very involved in the process and got to pick everything out, but it took a lot of stress off of me and, more importantly, it was all done when I moved in! I realize this was a bit of a unicorn situation, as my home was not new (1906 rowhouse) and I was buying from a reno company that I new well, but if you can find something similar, I would definitely suggest you go that route!

    • Senior Attorney

      Couldn’t agree more that fixers are not cheaper. I bought a fixer and am paying to have it completely remodeled. At the end of the day it’s going to be incredibly awesome, but I have spent all.my.money. and it’s taken much longer than expected. There will always be surprises behind those walls or under those floors. Proceed with extreme caution.

    • Dreaming of Spring

      I have and you have to be prepared to have it be your main hobby – if you work long hours and have a spouse and kids, it’s going to be difficult unless your spouse is into it and you can fool your hopefully older kids into being free labor. If you’re a single woman or a couple with no kids who really likes doing home improvement things and you have a ton of free time, or better yet also have contractor friends, then by all means, do it. It can be cheaper in the right market – I think I saved about $50k. I made a good buy and didn’t have any big disasters because I know a very good home inspector who helped me avoid a few bad choices. But, it was a lot of work. If you would describe yourself as sometimes lazy, don’t do it.

      You need to be able to assess the condition of houses and know what needs to be updated and what problems houses of that type generally have. That lovely fixer victorian probably does not have insulation and has knob and tube wiring and has no cheap way to put in air conditioning because it has no ductwork, for example. If you want to make an offer, measure and make a spreadsheet with all of the costs you need – labor, materials, contingencies, etc. I had even gone so far as to design kitchens per measurement and price them out.

      If you’re only looking at cosmetic changes, those are easy. Painting, changing light fixtures, faucets, appliances, etc are all very easy things that you can do yourself. Yes, it might take a little work, and no, paint is not free, but unless you’re trying to paint a black room white, it’s just few hours of labor.

      • painted whole house interior

        “just a few hours of labor” is a little misleading. Painting one room is one thing, painting an entire house (or even just two or three rooms) is another…And cost. Painter’s tape, tools, brushes, rollers, etc all adds up. Plus, the little doodads that make all the painting easier are generally worth the money. Good brushes and rollers are well worth it for better coverage and quality. The corner/edge tools are great too. Disposable paint pans are a godsend. And paint itself is $20-40/gallon depending on quality. Prepping a room for painting, even if it doesn’t have furniture in it, and you don’t care about the floors, takes a good day to do right. You may have to patch holes or tape seams, clean dirt & marks off the wall, and tape everything. Then painting itself is about a 2-3 day process for several coats plus ceiling, if it needs it.

        We painted about 15 different rooms/spaces in our house before we moved in, and it was a several-weeks project.

        • Baconpancakes

          Woah, I’ve painted basically every apartment I’ve ever lived in, and it never took a whole day to tape even the entire 1000 SF apartment. With three of us, we taped and painted an entire 1000 SF apartment, including letting paint dry between coats, in about 24 hours.

        • Leigh

          We just tried to paint our 2,300 sq. ft. home. I was ready to jump off the balcony. Exaggerating, obviously, but it was NOT a few hours of labor. My husband and I put in almost 60 hours of work and probably close to $1,500 before we gave up and hired a painter. It was 100% worth it. Hire someone.

          • OP

            There is a big difference between painting an 1000 sq ft house and a 2,300 square foot house, especially if yours was two story. I have painted a ton, but there are some painting projects I would never attempt.

        • Dreaming of Spring

          Ah, I don’t bother taping and the reason is because it takes so long! I have a steady hand and more experience than I would like. I just stick with a roller and paintbrush and I throw them out at the end because I hate washing them off. I meant it was a few hours to paint one room, not a whole house :) I did a 1800 square foot house by myself in less than a week, no tape, and I got the kind of spackle that you can paint over in an hour, which helps speed it up. It was less than $1000 for the whole house plus trim overall (maybe $750? around $100 per room), and I figured I would have paid that much more on the sale price anyway if I had to.

    • OP

      Wow sorry I couldn’t check in. I want a cosmetic fixer-upper not because of the cost, but because I want a hobby. Now I’m really re-thinking this though.

      I enjoy painting and grew up making built-ins, fixing toilets, and tiling floor with my father, but it sounds like everyone has terrible experiences with doing just cosmetics. I appreciate the warning from everyone though.. I will definitely think more on this; for me I think it could really go either way. I live by myself in a city with few friends, no children, a cat, and a work schedule that is rarely more than 45-50 hours a week. I could really use a hobby, but maybe this isn’t the hobby I really need.

      • anon for house question

        I agree with other posters that buying a house that needs significant rehab may be more work than you’d expect, but I’m a big proponent of keeping an open mind to a house that only needs cosmetic improvements. Especially if those cosmetic improvements don’t include a whole new bathroom or kitchen.

        That being said, it is important to remember that cosmetic improvements do take SOME time and money. I personally think it’s worth it almost every time, BUT you have to (1) have the time and money to do the improvements, and (2) have a realistic idea of how much time it will take and what the cost will be.

        I bought a house that was structurally in good shape and well cared for, but dated in a lot of big ways. Also, it did not have a dishwasher or automatic garage door opener. I did a lot of the cosmetic work before moving in. If you have a general idea of what each improvement costs and you have enough cash on hand to do it all at once, I think it’s worth it. In my house hunt, the other houses that I looked at that did not need cosmetic/practical improvements were around $20-50k more expensive than the house I bought. Since I was fairly confident I could make all the cosmetic improvements that I wanted for around $10k, that was worth it to me.

        The work on my current home ended up costing $9k and it took 6 weeks from closing to when I moved in for the following work to be done (almost all by hired professionals):
        -sand and restain hardwood floors in living room, dining room, and both bedrooms
        -paint every room in house
        -change ceiling light fixtures in half the rooms
        -change outlet and light switch covers (I did this myself)
        -install dishwasher, including set up work by electrician and plummer, and move a few kitchen cabinets to make room for dishwasher
        -paint existing kitchen cabinets and change handles
        -install new exhaust fan over stove
        -install new granite countertops in kitchen and new sink and faucet
        -assemble/attach shelves in bedroom and kitchen (my boyfriend did the kitchen shelves for me, I had a handyman do the bigger project in the bedroom)
        -install automatic garage door opener
        -remove ugly, filthy glass shower doors, patch tile wall and install rod for shower curtain (I installed the rod myself; handyman did rest)

        In the past, I purchased a condo and did a full kitchen renovation. That was expensive and time-consuming and I don’t look forward to doing it again. I’ve also painted 2 different homes before. In my first house, I only painted 2 large rooms and had the help of 3 family members, and that took 1 weekend. My second place, I painted the whole 1200 sq ft condo loft space with 13 foot ceilings. I did all the work myself, and chose bright colors that required a few coats each. The paint and supplies came to about $1000 (10 years ago) and it took me about 2 months to complete the entire condo, working maybe 2-3 hours per day most days. Just me, no help from anyone.

        • anon for house question

          Plus, all the time spent shopping for things like the dishwasher, multiple light fixtures, paint colors, handles, etc., etc. It definitely took time, and a lot of trips to the new house (40 minutes away from where I was living).

      • Marie

        Even if you buy a brand new house, there will be plenty of chances to paint walls and fix things! Stuff breaks. Or you’ll decide you want one room a different color. Even without fix-upping, a house is a hobby . . . whether you like it or not.

  5. Nancy P

    What other fashion blogs do people here read? Someone here turned me on to The Mom Edit (which I adore but only has 1 post a day and it’s not always fashion). Others? I need ideas of how to integrate my personal style (I would wear drapey sweaters with skinny jeans and boots every day if I could) with my work (BigLaw).

    • Cb

      It’s hard, I think the quality of fashion bloggers has really declined. I like Franish (med student with business-casual dress code) but I’m in academia so I don’t wear business formal.

    • ss

      Why is it necessary to integrate personal style and work ? Why not just maintain a functional professional wardrobe and leave the sartorial self-expression for after-hours ?

      • emeralds

        Because some of us don’t like feeling like personality-less drones who exist only to put our noses to the professional grindstone? I’m sorry if you’re coming from a place of honest curiosity, but this is seriously one of the silliest questions I’ve ever read. Of course if it works for you to strip all of your personal style out of your work wardrobe, great and keep on doing what you’re doing. But I would say that is not the case for most people.

        • ss

          Why so silly ? Most folks in my industry, male and female, dress within a fairly narrow range but don’t particularly lack personality or means of professional self-expression. As it happens, I have an idea of my personal style and am able to indulge it at work. But if someone is struggling with hers, surely it’s useful to remind that the struggle isn’t necessary – putting on the uniform is fine too.

          In this case, OP makes her own reasons are clearer below – sorry Nancy for your unloved work situation. On finding ideas for looser drappier styles paired with good basics, Max mara’s look books could be useful (and their various sub-labels). I usually see a print version but they should be on the brand’s website.

      • BB

        Because we spend 80% of our time at work (probably even more in BigLaw) and it’s nice to have just a tiny iota of self-expression during those hours? I’m assuming the OP doesn’t mean she’s trying to mix Harajuku style into her work wardrobe, but I enjoy getting dressed for work a lot more now that I have colors and styles that I like.

      • anon-oh-no

        and because it makes me feel good and more confident to look my best, which necessarily includes my self-expression of what I think looks good.

      • Nancy P

        Because fashion is how I express myself, and I want to be able to express who I am in the office. Because I feel happier and more confident in clothes that are more me (like drapey sweaters). And because I don’t particularly love my job right now, so clothes I love help.

      • Anon

        Because I feel better and look better when I wear things that are “my style.” It’s blah enough to sit at a desk for 11 hours a day, I’d like to feel as comfortable and “me” as I can.

      • TO Lawyer

        Getting “dressed” for work rather than just putting a uniform on puts a spring in my step. I love colour and accessories and it makes me feel so much better about myself than just wearing a drab suit and ugly shoes.

      • Anon

        I think you’re taking OP’s use of the word “need” too literally. Some people may be fine putting on the uniform, but others may really want to integrate personal style.

        People are telling you your question is silly because, even if you disagree, the reasons people want to integrate personal style are kind of obvious. My sartorial expression after work is sweatpants. This is not an adequate outlet for personal style.

    • BB

      I used to follow Classy Cubicle (Memorandum) and Bittersweet Colors. IMO, neither of these qualify as formal workwear (Bittersweet Colors definitely not), BUT they did help me understand what colors go well together and what some good wardrobe basic pieces are. That was useful in mixing in my personal style with workwear, like a lilac sweater under a boring light gray suit.

    • Sparrow

      These are some I follow:

      26 and Counting
      Capitol Hill Style
      Franish
      Nine Thirty to Five
      Outfit Posts
      Wardrobe Oxygen
      You Look Fab (the forums might be helpful)

      • mintberrycrunch

        Cap Hill Style is pretty much the only one I consistently follow for work clothing – I think Belle is one of the only bloggers who has really stayed true to a professional dress code.

        • Traditionalist

          Agree — it’s no wonder summer associates, those just starting out, etc. have trouble finding appropriate clothes. So many bloggers pass off the craziest stuff as “workwear” without bothering to state an industry or dress code (and, honestly, some of it isn’t appropriate it any workplace). While I love expressing myself through fashion, I do think the first concern is professionalism, followed by fun details.

      • E

        Checking out that blog made me irrationally angry. Who the eff can afford that working 9 to 5? Also I can tell she’s super short so everything is a work-appropriate length on her.

        I think I’ll stick with ‘rette and cap hill, more sane.

    • EEK

      Extra Petite and Professionally Petit are the only two blogs I’ve found beyond Capital Hill Style that actually features true business casual and business formal outfits.

      They are obviously petite and I am very much not, but they do a good job of representing current styles in a truly work appropriate (for my type of office) way.

      I also started reading blue collar red lipstick which has a lot of work outfits. And i read Corporate Catwalk a bit too although her look is a bit more fashion-y than I can get away with at my job (although it’s no where near as out there as classy cubicle who i had to unfollow after her recommendation to wear wool overalls to work.)

      If anyone knows of anyone similar blogs for average sized or even tall people, I’d love to see them.

  6. c

    I brought you the Salux cloth rec, now I’m going to add another gem I’ve found on my mission to combat KP. It’s called CeraVe SA Renewing cream. Buy it in a tub. magic.

    TL;DR-Salux cloth and CeraVe win against keratosis pilaras.

    • August

      I have KP (actually suffer from KP :-( ). I am applying Alpha Hydroxy Lotion after shower from Dermal Therapy and a pumice stone during the shower for scrubbing. It has worked reasonably well and I finally came to a state where I don’t worry about it constantly. But I am always open to trying something new just to see if it works better, .so will try Salux cloth and CeraVe soon. Thank you..

      Edit: Also using Jason Natural liquid cleanser doesn’t leave my skin dry. It has helped me to feel better as well.

    • Anon

      I’m also a big fan of Amlactin, which looks like it has some of the same ingredients as CeraVe. It works best when applied immediately after a shower, but it’s made a huge difference for me.

    • Clementine

      CeraVe is awesome. I have mild KP that comes and goes, but a dermatologist suggested this stuff called KP Duty (I think it’s by Dermadoctor- you can buy it at Sephora) that is AWESOME.

  7. anomom

    Love-appella the dress but it doesn’t come in petite, so wouldn’t work for me.

    • Moonstone

      Same here, but I like that Kat is recommending a made-in-the-US item (albeit from imported fabric).

  8. Anon for this

    My husband had a major car accident last night. There’s no doubt he had been drinking. This would be his first offense. I’m focusing on how fortunate we are that he’s going to be all right, and that he didn’t hurt anyone else. He was the only one involved in the accident. I’m focused on taking care of him, despite my disappointment, but I need to make sure to handle everything else too. Family is all notified. I’ve reported the accident to the insurance company (online and very vaguely). I’ve called the doctor and am waiting to get him in (he was at the hospital last night). The hospital will fax his records to the doctor.

    What do I need to do, and when? I can think of a few things: call and get the police report, go see the vehicle and get our stuff out of it, get copies of his medical records. Do we need a lawyer for this? If so, where to look? What else am I missing? TIA.

    • Diana Barry

      Yes, you need a DUI/criminal defense lawyer. You could interview a few and ask about their conviction/exoneration rates and what they recommend.

      • Former Partner, Now In-House

        Yes. And the sooner the better. These guys are experts in DUIs and they can help shape whether your husband is even charged (within the limits of the facts) if they are in soon enough.

        Also, be totally upfront with your insurance. Don’t give them any reason to cancel your coverage for fraud or failure to keep informed or whatever they want to call it.

        • Senior Attorney

          Depending on your state, there may be action that needs to be taken with the Dept of Motor Vehicles immediately, so yes. Get yourself a great DUI lawyer.

    • CountC

      Yes, hire a lawyer. Also start looking into alcohol/drug abuse/awareness classes he can take ahead of time to show the court that he is learning from his mistake. They will likely order him to do something similar, but your attorney can best guide you here. Do you have any friends/family who have had DUIs? I would ask them for recommendations for attorneys. Otherwise, just start Googling and checking out the website of attorneys in your area.

    • Anonymous

      A non-accident alcohol related offense can run you $10,000 to $15,000 for a lawyer, so an alcohol related offense could run you even more. Many of these lawyers want pretty large retainers up front ($10,000 – $15,000 is standard). If you don’t have access to that kind of cash, you may want to start thinking about places you can get it (loans, borrow from trusted family members).

      As for where to look, if you don’t have friends to ask for recommendations, call your county or state bar association. I would not “cheap out” on a lawyer. I would get one that knows what she is doing. That means someone with experience that may have a higher hourly rate.

      • CountC

        I paid $1500 for my DUI lawyer in a HCOL area, so not necessarily. I did not hit anyone/anything, but I still was way above the legal limit and I had other traffic offenses as well. It was my first time (and now only!) offense. Of course this was also 11 years ago, so . . .

        I agree with the don’t cheap out on a good lawyer advice!

        • Anon for this

          Thanks – helps to know we may be looking at a more reasonable fee. I’ll look for lawyers and will likely also call the bar.

    • lucy stone

      What state are you in? I’m in Wisconsin, where first offense OWI isn’t a crime (because Wisconsin) and it is a WASTE OF MONEY to hire a lawyer on most first offenses. If you’re going to hire one, hire a decent criminal defense guy and not an OWI-exclusive guy because all you are doing otherwise is throwing money away at what’s going to be a conviction anyway. City prosecutors are trained by the state to litigate the hell out of these and we aren’t allowed to plea bargain.

      If you’re in another state, lawyer up, but still go with a regular criminal defense guy instead of an OWI guy who “does it all for $10,000.” If you really want an OWI guy, don’t go flat fee. I’ve beat board-certified guys up and down the courtroom. I was making $30/hour and their clients were now out $10,000-$20,000 when they could have received just as good of a defense for $2000 from a by the hour guy.

      • Anon for this

        Thanks, this is helpful. I’m in PA. We know someone who had a high BAC (over .16) and an attorney for about $2500. He got a 60-day license suspension and some fines. As I said below, I am not really looking for someone to dispute that he did it, so I’m trying to understand the benefits of hiring an attorney.

        • CountC

          I am located in central PA, so if you are in the area, I can get you a referral. I can probably get you a rec wherever in PA now that I think about it. Email me at $hitmensaytowomen at the google mail service. Use an “S” instead of the $ though :)

    • Anon for this

      This might come off a bit Pollyanna, but I’m going to ask anyway given the significant law background here. If he was absolutely driving under the influence, and the BAC is obvious via both breath and blood, what are we trying to accomplish by having a lawyer? Is the primary benefit of the lawyer a more likely reduction in fines, ARD, etc.? We aren’t wealthy but can fund ~$10K if needed. I’m just hoping to understand a bit more about the benefits, because if the bottom line is either $10K in fines or $10K for a lawyer + fines, I might rather just take our lumps. Thanks for all the responses already.

      • cbackson

        The benefit of an experienced lawyer is that they may be able to help you navigate your way to a situation in which your husband doesn’t have a DUI on his record. There are a lot of potential negative impacts from that (ranging from having to disclose it on job applications to potentially being barred from entering Canada, if that’s relevant to you). So it’s not just a straightforward question of whether legal fees or a fine will cost more.

      • CountC

        From my own personal experience, I was not even remotely familiar with the laws involved, what the typical penalty was for this type of offense, who the judge was and how hard a line he/she took with first time offenders with similar charges, what classes I could take that would show I was taking it seriously and wanted to learn from the experience, etc. My lawyer was able to negotiate a probation before judgement thing for me. I plead guilty, but if I survived the 6 month probation period without incident, the whole thing would be expunged from my record. Additionally, instead of having my license completely suspended, he negotiated it down to a work suspension so I could get to and from work as usual. I wouldn’t have known how to effectively get myself any of these things so it was worth the $1500 to me.

      • JJ

        Depending on the state, a first-time DUI could be jail time (very unlikely), license suspension for months, fines, alcohol classes, an ignition interlock (basically, a breathalyzer to start your car) installed, etc. A lawyer can usually get you a better plea deal or reduce what your husband could be sentenced with.

      • Lateral Season

        The advantage is less in fines, less in points, less time with no license, and sets you up better for a second offense. Which no one expects but you didn’t expect this either. Most lawyers aren’t going to need more than 5k, generously, to handle pleading out a first time DUI.

      • Anon for this

        Thanks, all – this is exactly what I needed to know. You’ve all been so responsive and understanding; thanks for taking the time to share your experiences and advice. I’m very grateful.

      • Anonymous

        My SO had a lawyer (paid 5k) and ended up having to go to jail for 3 days, install a breathalyzer on his car, had DUI on his record for 5 years, had a to take an alcohol class, attend AA (he isn’t an alcoholic) and had a restricted license for a year. It was awful. It was his first offense and he was slightly over the legal limit. I’d focus less on the cost and more on the experience of the lawyer.

        • Anonymous

          Sometimes there’s just nothing the lawyer can do. A lot depends on the judge, the prosecutor, the jurisdiction, etc. Some jurisdictions just take a hard line and don’t allow for pleas, etc.

          • Anonymous

            I completely agree. I was just mentioning it because expense doesn’t always equal best.

        • Anonymous

          Does this please anyone else? I think this is exactly what should happen on a first DUI.

          • Anon for this

            I 100% concur. This is not a “mistake” – you don’t drink and drive one time and are unlucky enough to get caught that time. I have a totally different opinion than the people on here explaining how a lawyer can help this poster’s husband avoid the consequences of his actions. My cousin was killed by a drunk driver a few years ago. I believe this poster’s husband deserves every single consequence including jail time, fines, the loss of driving privileges, a restricted licence, having to install a breathalyzer when those privileges are reinstated, increased insurance premiums and a mark on the permanent record. Employers can decide if they think that the lack of judgment involved in drunk driving carries over to their needs for a particular position.

      • brokentoe

        This may not be what you want to hear or be relevant in your SO’s case, but do you believe this drinking episode is part of a pattern? Are you concerned at all about his alcohol or other substance use? Because if you are, downplaying or reducing the consequences for this crash and any related criminal charges will not help him face his issues if he has a substance abuse problem. Roughly 40% of first offenders go on to have further DWI arrests – chemical addiction is a tough issue that isn’t solved by sweeping it under the rug. You don’t want him to hurt himself or others in the future by enabling a serious problem now.

        • Anon for this

          Totally understand you bringing it up and thanks for doing it so tactfully. His father is an alcoholic. SO doesn’t use any other substances. I don’t think he’s an alcoholic in the strict sense of the word, but I do think he lacks judgment when he’s out drinking in social situations.

          I think this will be his wakeup call. We’ll get him to counseling, not just the court-ordered classes, to make sure he recognizes that drinking and driving is not OK and gets any help he needs.

          • Licensing atty

            Is your husband licensed by the state in any way? (Attorney, doctor, nurse, auto mechanic, pharmacist?) He may have to report any arrest or criminal charges to his Licensing authority within a very sorry timeframe.

  9. EEK

    We are at that point of winter where I hate all of my clothes and want to burn my tights.

    Any thoughts on driving away the winter dressing blues? Spring is unfortunately a sold month away in my part of the country.

    • Anon

      I feel you! I am amassing spring clothing in my Nordstrom wish list, dreaming about what I’m going to wear when the weather warms up.

    • Hildegarde

      I’m in the same (mental) place. It’s too cold to want to refresh my wardrobe with new Spring items, and that would be a waste of money anyway, because it’s not that I don’t have Spring items; it’s that it’s too cold for me to wear them!

      I don’t have a great solution for this, although a few posters on here have been talking about that tidying book that came out recently. I don’t intend to buy the book, but the conversations did inspire me to cull some clothing items that I wear occasionally because I have them, but don’t make me feel great. It’s felt good to tighten up my wardrobe a bit. In lieu of buying anything, I’ve also spent some time thinking about what specific differences there are between the way I do dress and the way I would like to dress. So, hopefully when I do feel like leaving the house and possibly buying clothes again, I’ll have a better idea of what I’m looking for, instead of just buying items randomly.

      • anon

        what is this book? I think I have heard of it, but I am interested to see if it’s the one I’m thinking about (which I cannot name, for the life of me)

    • Lady Tetra

      I’m bringing out the spring colors a little bit at a time — I just bought a yellow sweater and an ice blue sweater, and I painted my nails lavender. It’s helping a little!

    • Rogue Banker

      Battling this myself (darn it, they call it HOT-lanta for a reason, what is this 25-degrees nonsense?) and about the best I can come up with is putting bright colors wherever I can get away with it. Even if it’s just accents, the bright blue and green scarf or the bright pink sweater break up the blah of black/grey/navy EVERYTHING.

      (I second the wanting to burn the tights though. SO SICK OF IT. Can we fast forward to spring?)

    • TO Lawyer

      Agreed with the colour suggestion – I’m currently wearing a hot pink silk blouse.

      Also I’ve started working on my spring shopping list but it’s making me more upset that I probably can’t wear anything but tights for at least the next month. (maybe I can only wear one pair of tights and no knee-high boots?)

    • Mo

      I like it if it fits you like the customer photo. Counter-intuitively, it looked too sexy on the less curvy model IMO– maybe because she has so much more skin showing b/c of her broader shoulders and longer legs?

    • Susie

      Personally I hate this type of cut that shows off what J.Law so delicately termed”armpit vag”, even people with low body fat can have this problem area. I do like the color and hemline but the top unfortunately would make it a no go for me.

      • Anonymama

        I hate that having a normal armpit is considered unattractive or a “problem area”. Yes, there is a fold of skin, that is how armpits are supposed to work, ffs

  11. ErinF

    For those of you who wear Spanx (or similar) regularly, what style(s) do you wear? Do you wear panties underneath? How often do you wash the Spanx — after every wearing? Feeling like I could use a little something under some of my clothes, but not sure what to get.

    • pamplemousse

      I am also curious about this. I recently bought Jockey Skimmies slipshorts, and I could not decide whether I was supposed to wear underwear under them as well.

      • Baconpancakes

        I would, because most of my undies are cotton, so they’ll theoretically provide a slightly healthier environment than a fabric with a high spandex content. Not sure if that’s just something I made up, though.

    • Anon

      When I wear the skimmies under dresses or skirts, I usually wear over underwear. I either wash every time or every other time depending on how long I wore them for (full day at work vs. dinner only) and what time of year (I sweat like nobody’s business in the summer, so that’s an every time period).

  12. comforters

    Looking for inexpensive full size comforters for my kids. Critical criteria: washability and price–hopefully less than $50 each. Tired of stripping a duvet cover from down comforters (that now need dry-cleaning BOO) for accidents.

    Secondly, anyone know where to get decent quality washable (not disposable) chux? That could definitely help our accident-washing issue.

    • lucy stone

      I had a Tommy Hilfiger comforter in high school that is still in my room at my parents’ house in great shape 18 years later. Their duvet covers are crap but their comforters are great!

    • Anonymous

      We got ours at LL Bean–we don’t use a cover, and as we have a toddler it gets washed a lot (regular washer, dried with three tennis balls, good as new).

    • Marie

      FYI, I just took the plunge and washed a “dry clean only” duvet in the washer for the first time. It came out beautifully. Cold water, Woolite, extra rinse/spin. Dried on medium heat with a couple of pairs of rolled-up tube socks (to fluff the comforter while drying). It did take a couple of hours to dry.

  13. Bonnie

    I thought I couldn’t hate this winter more but it has reached a new limit now that I’m in the ER after slipping on ice and hitting my head. Die winter die.

    • SuziStockbroker

      Ugh, that hurts. I hope it’s not a bad knock.

      Hang in there (although I am firmly convinced winter is never going to be over here).

    • Anon in NYC

      Ugh! I hope you’re okay. I’ve slipped and fallen twice so far this winter. It sucks.

    • lucy stone

      The worst! I’ve fallen down on a random patch of ice and in the parking lot stairs at work. Hope you’re okay and feeling well soon!

    • Anonymous

      Oh that is one of my biggest fears! I sprained my ankle THREE times last winter on icy patches. This year I bought yak trax.

      Feel better soon!

    • comforters

      I hope you are not in for a traumatic experience. I hope it’s just a knock on the noggin. Hugs, and one day, it will be spring. One day.

    • Bonnie

      This particular neighbor never clears their sidewalk. They’re capable of doing it just choose not to. I’m seriously tempted to sue them for $1 just so there is a record of it for the next time someone gets hurt.

  14. anonymous

    Ugh. I found another gray hair today. I’ve had 4 strands of gray since I turned 18, and today I found a 5th one. I’ll be 27 in a few months. I’m probably being vain but now I’m terrified that I’m going to actually start going gray soon.

    • Parfait

      “Terrified” seems a bit disproportionate. It happens to all of us, and for those of us who don’t want to go with it, there’s hair dye.

      • M

        +1

        I truly do not understand the abject horror many women express when they find a silver strand on their heads. Perhaps it is easier for me to accept because grey hairs have been a fact of life for me since junior high, but your 8 grey hairs do not make you a crone. Unless/until the grey starts to take over, most people won’t even notice it if they aren’t looking for it. Promise. Hold the panic parade for the day the greys start popping up…other places.

    • BigMac

      While I understand where you are coming from, try to remember it is a privilege to age. Many are not so fortunate. So embrace it! Or you know, go to the hair salon. Either way, try keep perspective.

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